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Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday [1]

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Date: 2022-10-19

Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Note: Here—hold this rabid skunk for me. I'll be right back for it by 2039.

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By the Numbers:

3 days!!!

Days 'til we turn our clocks back eine Stunde: 18

Days 'til Gilfeather Turnip Day in Wardsboro, Vermont: 3

President Biden's approval in the latest CBS News poll: 48%

Rank of Plano TX, Frisco TX, and Tampa FL on Lawnstarter's list of the best U.S. cities for remote workers based on remote worker-friendliness factors such as internet quality, cost of living, and access to coworking spaces: #1, #2, #3

Date on which Americans started buying hearings aids without a prescription: 10/17/22

Year pickleball was invented: 1965

Percent increase in the number of pickleball players (5 million) nationwide since 2020, according to the Sports & Fitness Industry Association: 35%

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Mid-week Rapture Index: 188 (including 4 droughts and the usual asshole party poopers). Soul Protection Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.

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Puppy Pic of the Day: DoggyFact rates this claim TRUE…

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CHEERS and JEERS to midterm mania. On the one hand it's always exciting coming down to the last several days (20 to go, according to my Seiko digital wristcalendar). On the other, the get-out-the-vote frenzy, no matter how appropriate or justified, becomes deafening—and, judging by the tone of the fundraising emails and texts, downright apocalyptic. Here at C&J HQ, we're doing everything we can to crunch every number we can find in the pursuit of casting certainty on the way things are going. Here's the latest from our multi-acre supercomputer, which is working overtime to plumb the depths of America's intentions:

✔ +5 moves to +3 And for reasons none of my team can explain, Grover Cleveland leads by 12 in NY-26. ✔ -6 moves to +1 ✔ +13 is now +4 ✔ +9 stays the same ✔ 987 races are now statistical ties ✔ Going back to that +9 number for a moment—we tapped the gauge with our finger and it moved to +8. The IT guy is on his way with some WD40. ✔ The race that had the challenger beating the incumbent by 17 has disappeared from our screen. We believe it’s because they hooked up, packed their bags, and ran off to South America with steamer trunks full of campaign cash. It happens. ✔ And last but not least, +4 becomes the value of pi to the last digit.

To factor in the margin of error on the above numbers, just add to them the fact that I'm in charge of crunching them.

CHEERS to the well-coiffed rabble. A little unsolicited advice for the MAGA cultists who think they can label LGBTQers as deviants and pervs and "groomers" and get away with it: there's strength in numbers, and our numbers are growing:

LGBTQ voters are poised to become one of the fastest-growing blocs in the country, according to a report first shared with POLITICO. The research, conducted by the Human Rights Campaign and Bowling Green State University and based on data from the U.S. Census Bureau, finds that by 2030, approximately 1-in-7 voters will be LGBTQ. The researchers expect to see that share grow to nearly 1-in-5 by 2040. […] The LGBTQ vote can have an impact in battleground states, the report suggests. In both 2030 and2040, the percentage of eligible voters who are LGBTQ is projected to exceed the national average in Georgia, Arizona, Texas, Nevada and Colorado. Ohio is projected to have the highest percentage change, jumping from 10 percent in 2020 to 18 percent in 2040.

Ironically, we owe the immensity of our growing power in large part to the straight MAGA parents with the Trump flags on their porches and crucifixes hanging from the rear-view mirrors of their 4x4s who for some strange reason just can’t seem to stop birthin’ LGBTQ babies. Oh, God...you merry prankster.

CHEERS to wars worth fighting. 241 years ago this week, in 1781, British General Lord Cornwallis (or, rather, a representative of his—Viceroy Benny Hill, I believe) surrendered to Washington's Continental Army after losing control of Yorktown Municipal Airport, effectively ending our War of Independence. The surrender agreement contained the first recorded use of the phrase "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." (Full disclosure: Lafayette's idea.)

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BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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x While all the other leaves just accept their fate, this one is standing up for itself... pic.twitter.com/iZLYK066aI — Bill Harnsberger (@BillinPortland) October 15, 2022

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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

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JEERS to the Big Dump. On October 19, 1987—on Saint Ronald Reagan's watch—stocks plunged 508 points amid panicky selling. They called it "Black Monday." The lowlights as they unfolded:

10:30 AM With 140 million shares traded, the Dow is down 101 points, to 2145. 11:45 AM A brief turnaround gives traders a flicker of hope as the Dow regains 95 points in a half-hour. 1 PM As rumors spread about a NYSE shutdown, the Dow plunges 100 points in the next hour. Peanuts compared to the record drops on #45’s watch. 2:15 PM With the Dow down 300 points, an investor outside the NYSE screams, "Down with Reagan! Down with MBAs! Down with yuppies!" 4 PM The NYSE closes. Chairman John Phelan says it was the closest thing to a "financial meltdown" that he had ever seen.

The percentage decline (22.6%) was actually worse than the crash of 1929. Thank god we learned our lesson and, through sensible legislation, never had to experience anything like that again. Attaboy, Congress!

CHEERS to finding the elusive word. There was a clip going around the twitterverse last weekend of British TV host Graham Norton discussing a non-existent phenomenon the right-wingers created out of whole cloth called "cancel culture." It started when normal people started taking right-wing businesses and famous people to task—via boycotts and peaceful protests—for their increasingly-dangerous and ignorant threats against everything from abortion to (non-existent) voter fraud to LGBTQ people and a general demonization of anyone not enchanted by fascism. I've been searching for the word that more accurately describes "cancel culture," and Norton hits it right on the head with…accountability:

x One of the most sensible takes on ‘cancel culture’ I’ve seen. Sensible, honest, smart. I’m posting the video directly as Times Radio tweeted it with a clickbait and somewhat misleading headline that unintentionally confirmed his point. More of this please. pic.twitter.com/toIzfzLQdm — Brendan May (@bmay) October 12, 2022

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The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines accountability as "an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions." Or as the Texas schoolbook committee now defines it: "an obligation or willingness to cancel the Merriam-Webster dictionary from all the school libraries."

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Ten years ago in C&J: October 19, 2012

CHEERS to the Commander-in-Timing. Last night at the white-tie and tidy-whities Alfred E. Smith dinner in New York, Mitt Romney aimed his comedic barbs at President Obama eight times and turned an otherwise OK routine into an uncomfortable bit of nasty schtick. President Obama, displaying far more humility, aimed three punchlines at Romney (and several at himself), while reminding the muckety mucks in the room that he's the candidate who's getting stuff done:

"Of course, the economy is on everybody’s minds. The unemployment rate is at its lowest level since I took office. I don’t have a joke here, I just thought it would be useful to remind everybody that the unemployment rate is at the lowest it’s been since I took office.” (Laughter and applause.) Kickin’ it in white tie and tails. “Monday’s debate is a little bit different because the topic is foreign policy. Spoiler Alert: We got bin Laden.” (Laughter and applause.)

Meanwhile, Obama had his best fundraising day Wednesday after cooking Romney's goose (in sauce with the gander) the night before, and Nate Silver's latest forecast gives the president a 70 percent chance of winning on November 6 with 291 electoral votes. But Republicans have reason to be happy, too. They finally found the Ring-Dings we left 'em Tuesday night when they swapped places with us on the window ledge. [10/19/22 Update: Obama won 332 electoral votes. Can we ever...trust Nate...again???]

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And just one more…

CHEERS to longevity. "Conan, what is best in life?" "Destroy your blogger enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the right-wing webmasters!" Yes, I keep track of these things:

x Breaking: @dailykos has now outlasted "Daily Anti-Kos" (https://t.co/Ywl0APkcob ) by thirteen years and seven months. 😀👍 — Bill Harnsberger (@BillinPortland) October 18, 2022

And 15 days. But who’s counting?

Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?

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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial The Chinese Government's Unlikeliest Standoff is with…Bill in Portland Maine’s Fans —Vox

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[END]
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