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Oh, darn: Peter Thiel's 'dating app for the right wing' appears to be tanking, weeks after launch [1]
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Date: 2022-10-13
The Daily Beast, citing analytics firms Sensor Tower and data.ai:
Since [Oct. 1], interest has plummeted; estimated downloads stood at about 1,000 per day on Oct. 8, 9, and 10. As of midday on Wednesday, The Right Stuff had dropped to 160th in the lifestyle section rankings of the App Store, according to Appfigures. Not helping matters: Users and trolls—utilizing bogus names including “Big Chungus”—have carpet-bombed the startup with terrible reviews. It currently holds a rating of just 2.6 out of five, with more than 60 percent of its feedback considered negative.
Wait—how can they be so sure Big Chungus isn’t a real user?
Of course, while it may seem just a tad rude to gainsay The Daily Beast’s reportage, it’s important to note that these reviews aren’t actually “terrible” so much as “really fucking awesome.”
To wit:
While numerous prospective daters did leave positive feedback celebrating the “conservative haven from heaven,” even some of the five-star ratings were insults in disguise. “I’ve found so many perfect women on here, and the best part [is] that they’re all white!” reads one satirical rating left on Oct. 7. “I found my current girlfriend on this app, and she is just perfect. We’ve been dating for 1 1/2 years now, but we’ve been related for 18.”
RELATED STORY: New conservative 'The Right Stuff' dating app has some amazing reviews
Other potential users have complained that the invite-only app is taking too long to approve new profiles, “rendering the app unusable for some who downloaded it.” In a reply to one such complaint, The Right Stuff noted that it had made the app invitation-only in order to keep out “the plethora of miserable liberal trolls.”
I can almost guarantee a dating app called Miserable Liberal Trolls would fare better than this Vienna sausage party.
Of course, The Right Stuff isn’t the first app to dip its toe into the quaggy gonorrhea paella that is the GOP gene pool. In late 2018, a platform called Righter aimed to match aspiring p*ssy-grabbers with suitable consorts.
RELATED STORY: If you can’t spell 'conservatism,' you might find love on this new dating app for MAGA singles
Righter apparently still exists, but its Twitter account hasn’t made a peep since March 2020, which is right around the time conservatives began spreading their freedom phlegm from sea to shining sea. The app itself also hasn’t been updated since February 2020.
So many right-wing dating apps have flopped—and they all flop—in recent years. Who could forget Hannidate? (We all did.)
x In 2006, he launched "Hannidate," which appears to have been one of the first prominent right-wing dating websites.
It appears to have cost him almost nothing to set up and he seems to have viewed it as kind of a joke. Here is the archived homepage. pic.twitter.com/DMcgQCgejC — Matthew Sheffield (@mattsheffield) October 7, 2022
More recently, in the most unironic development, like, ever, a platform called Trump.Dating launched in early 2018—with a convicted child sex abuser serving as the red-hatted face of the company.
x This is either the best-looking Trump-supporting couple they could find, or the best-looking models they could find who were willing to appear on a Trump site.
https://t.co/HRpSDPYQAo pic.twitter.com/fFvPjjijoU — Eric D. Snider (@EricDSnider) February 17, 2018
Not sure what happened with that one, but the link Mother Jones included in its story on the launch is currently as dead as Trump’s fans hoped Mike Pence would be.
Of course, anyone still interested in dating a conservative can glean some tips from these young ladies, who are totally not actors. How dare you even suggest such a thing?
x The wait is finally over! pic.twitter.com/8POlHDRyYS — The Right Stuff (@daterightstuff) September 30, 2022
Really? Conservative men have better manners than liberal men? Sure, I may think going out of my way to open car doors for adult, able-bodied women is silly, but at least I’m polite enough to let them make their own decisions about their bodies.
But hey, the heart wants what it wants. And if someone’s heart wants to totally shiv their uterus, well, that’s their prerogative, now isn’t it?
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