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Adoption & Thoughts on the Abortion Decision [1]
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Date: 2022-09-23
“Don’t ask questions. You only get answers.” I lived by a modified version of that wisdom doing criminal law- only ask questions you know the answer to. Yesterday, I violated that sage advice. I spoke with my birth mother for the first time in 40 years. There were questions. I only got answers.
I was adopted as an infant. My adoptive parents are amazing- loving home, great opportunities, came to all my sporting events, even told me the terrible columns I wrote for the high school paper were insightful. I grew up and got my law degree and served in the Army. It was middle class Americana.
Two weeks ago, I got a letter that my birth mother wanted to talk. I assume it’s generally the same state to state, but I had to give written permission in mine. I did, and she called. We talked. It was a conversation I don’t think I could have had when I was 19 or even 30, but it was different at 40 something. She asked about me. I told her stories about the Army and practicing law. She told me about my half-bio brother and her farm (who somehow went to the same undergrad as I and now also has an advanced degree).
It’s a weird level of intimacy to tell what is basically a random stranger over the phone things about your life. It’s weird thing to be told she knows nothing about your biological father because you were a product of a one night stand. It’s a weird thing to think about meeting- the oddest blind date you can imagine.
It kind of got me thinking last night about the recent Supreme Court abortion decision. I’ve always thought that Roe was the proper application of what is basically constitutional common law following Griswold (which has also led ways I did not like- Citizens United and the War or Terror detention cases, among others). But, it is no longer the law and as a nation, we’re going to have children being born into poor circumstances (sorry for stating the obvious). I’d appreciate if someone of some stature could pop up and say ‘hey, some of these kids are going to be put up for adoption. Maybe we should increase funding, awareness, recruitment of potential adoptive parents, and aid for those kids and those families.” Instead, there is a rush to ban abortion and no concurrent movement for child welfare among those same lawmakers. It could make one cynical.
I parachuted from a desperate single mom to the middle-class. Most will not be so lucky. I wish there was more of a conversation on the children we as a nation are going to need to raise and how we will do so. I believe in adoption, but I also believe it is a system that needs help.
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[1] Url:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/9/23/2124805/-Adoption-Thoughts-on-the-Abortion-Decision
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