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Caturday Pootie Diary: No regrets [1]
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Date: 2022-09-17
I picked up my phone with my free hand and started scrolling. I shook my head, intent on my reading. “The orange man is in big trouble this time,” I murmured. I looked up at Freddie and my mouth dropped open.
He was eating my donut.
I did nothing at first, gaping at the audacity.
He chewed his bite, bits of fried cake falling from his mouth. He swallowed, then took another bite.
“Hey!” I said, snapping out of my shock. “That’s mine!” I held the donut up and out of his reach.
He watched it, still chewing and making a mess.
“Donuts are not for kitties!” I scolded.
He swallowed. “It tasted like it was for kitties,” he said, brazenly.
I gave him a stern frown. “What if it had made you sick?”
“It didn’t,” he said.
“Maybe it was something toxic for kitties!”
“It clearly wasn’t.”
I set the donut down on my plate, no longer wanting to eat it. “You naughty monkey!” I exclaimed.
He licked the top of his paw a few times, then ran it over his face. “I have no regrets,” he said.
I picked up my napkin and used it to clean the seat under him. He had made a mess. Even if the donut had been bad for him, he couldn’t have swallowed much of it.
“Look at this mess!” I said.
He continued cleaning his face. “Still no regrets.”
I watched as he finished his post-donut-stealing bath. He finished up, stood and stretched [“biiiiiiiiig donut stealing streeeeeeeetch”], then lay back down and tucked his paws under his chest. His ears were up and pointed straight ahead, and his eyes blinked slowly open and closed.
I wasn't falling for it.
“I’m not falling for that!” I said.
“That was a good snack,” Freddie told me. “I need a nap now.” He closed his eyes.
“You can’t grab food out of my hand,” I explained. “It’s not polite and you can’t safely eat everything I eat.”
“I can’t hear you lecture me when I’m asleep,” he said, not opening his eyes.
“This is serious, Freddie!”
He yawned again then said, “You really shouldn’t eat anything I can’t.”
I stared longingly at my ruined donut. Then I remembered the way it looked falling in crumbs out of Freddie’s mouth. “Eww,” I whispered.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I guess the donut was a little dry, huh?”
His tongue poked out and ran over his whiskers. “It was probably too dry for you. I should have the rest.”
“Nice try.”
“I think I liked it better when you were too shy and polite to grab from me without my permission,” I mused.
“That was how I was before and this is how I am now,” he said, resting his head on my hand.
“You sound like a fortune cookie,” I said, smiling down at him. It’s hard to stay stern with him. He’s extremely cute.
“I don’t know what that is,” he admitted.
“It’s a cookie with a fortune inside.”
He opened his eyes. “Does it taste like donut?”
Happy Caturday, Peeps! Last Caturday was very dramatic for us here at Casa Freddie, but everything is calm now and much better. We appreciate everyone’s kind words.
[END]
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