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Conversations with Frank. [1]
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Date: 2022-09-03
Every Friday afternoon, I call and talk for an hour with “Frank,” my brother-in-law. Well, actually he’s the brother of my sister-in-law, whatever that is called. We are family - both Uncle to a common subset of individuals, Christmas, vacations in Florida with the greater family, funerals.
Frank is a few years older than me, in his mid-70’s. We have a lot in common. We worked in quality control and quality management in our careers, albeit in totally different industries.
“Can you believe all those violations at that Abbott baby food plant? The FDA shut them down, that’s serious. Bacterial contamination, leaky roof, safety stuff.”
“Sounds like a major breakdown in QA from production up through management to me.”
Each of us is in the early stages of a different neurodegenerative disease. Every week we update the other on doctor visits and diagnostic results, compare and contrast our neurologists, progression of symptoms (“You had any hallucinations this week?”), aches and pains, and celebrate the minor victories (“Hey, my liver function panel was all in the normal range yesterday.”). Black humor is obligatory and self-pity is absolutely forbidden.
For the next four months, we will discuss the successes and pitfalls of our respective college football teams as they slug it out in the SEC, while simultaneously denigrating teams from the lesser conferences. We update each other on spouses, family and pets. When those subjects are exhausted, we discuss our very different childhood experiences. After about an hour, our bladders are screaming and with well wishes, we sign off till the next week.
What do we never discuss? Religion and politics. I hang out here and occasionally post. Last election he voted for tfg and Empty Green. Despite her manifest inadequacies, I have no doubt he will vote for her again this November.
Why talk with him if you do not try to resolve your political differences? Well, some emotional barriers cannot be breached with reasoned discussion. Therefore, we support each other as we deal with our physical failings and quietly celebrate our common humanity. That is more than sufficient.
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