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I Need My Daily Kos Family Now More Than Ever. I Truly Need Your Help. [1]

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Date: 2022-09-01

Hi I am Todd, but most of you know me as The Claw, or Rule of Claw. Yesterday was my two year cancer surgiversary. So it was that time to go and get my blood work done, physicals, and schedule scans. My blood work was not great, with the primary problem being that I have developed insulin resistance or pre-diabetes. This might also be owed to the long Covid. I say that because before Omicron I did not have that issue.

Scans come soon, but they are expected to show cysts on my kidneys and liver as previously, but they have to be monitored to watch for irregularities. This all adds up. And if it were just me, I would be expediting this process better than I am.

But I am also covering costs for my mom, and even more pressingly than me, my wife, who had to go through a battery of tests at Mayo to start the kidney transplant list qualification evaluation. Conservatively I am looking at no less than $3000 in co-pays. Our rent wents up over $500 cumulatively, and we were told they were taking it easy on us relative to the “hot Phoenix market.” Well, “the hot Phoenix market” is close to 110 degrees today.

Somebody, or a lot of somebodys, took advantage of a lap dog press to drive up the costs of housing. And that is something I am investigating.

As part of that, I am doing all I can to expand my newsletter. The Claw News is a weekly publication that provides original content and insights, along with pet related humor and themes. I put my heart and soul into it, and I still try to make it fun, even in issues with darker subjects. It is my brainchild, my purpose, and I give it my all. For $3.99 a month you get reporting that abhors the use of cliches, is filled with original thought, and approaches subjects with humanity. My promise to you with that is my best. I am hoping to get to 1,000 subscribers by the end of the year.

But all of my efforts pale to the damage I have taken from cancer, and now, Covid, and with the recent news, insulin resistance. While the latter explains my fatigue, the former is always on my mind, so I really roll the dice waiting to do my medicals. But my mom and brother only has my wife and I, and while we wait to see if mom can qualify for disability, I don’t have time to be tired. My days basically are comprised of, get up, do research, find out what the mail-it-in media is reporting, then do more research, find an undeveloped angle worth discussing, write, sleep.

In a given week, with all of the stories I do, counting edits, re-writes, notes, outlines, I am writing 15-20,000 words. That doesn’t make me a hero, I am just letting you know how much quality means to me.

After I sleep, I get up and work some more. Between here, and my newsletter, along with a couple of monthly posts to Patreon, I am constantly busy, and constantly exhausted. So I need help. I truly do. I have huge gaps I have to fill in, and I am always willing to take on extra freelance work as well. Eventually, I am going to attempt YouTube, but that is even more work, and last week, I totaled it up, and I slept about 40 hours.

That is not good. I just don’t know what to do. All I can really do is write and report, and with my mom deteriorating, and my brother needing to navigate the health system to deal with autism, I am juggling I don’t know how many balls. Thing is, I try to be worth it, you know?

While I am asking for help, I feel better about myself knowing that I am working hard, and trying to contribute to the world. I have not taken this mess lying down. I am doing my best.

But if we take a deeper dive into my psyche, honestly, it is being hammered by the need to have value to society, and this pervasive feeling of not being what I used to be, even considering age. Where I was once a sleek athlete, I am now quite wary of the stairs. That messes with my head. I never figured “age”, and “gracefully” would be terms to unite harmoniously in my thought process, given my background, but I never thought this feeling of inertia and immobility would hit this early.

Without Covid, I don’t believe it would have. So I feel crushed by my lack of energy, and I desperately am trying to dig through this period to get some air and see some light, because I don’t know how much longer I can keep this pace up.

Please consider subscribing, but if you could, I really need the immediate help of donations so I can finish my medical tests for this year and hopefully, get my family into a more cost sustainable situation by next year. Below is my Gofundme, and I am so grateful to all of you who have helped to keep my family and I afloat. To me, you are all family, and I can only hope to one day be able pay it forward, and use this chance to survive to do my part to make our nation and world a better place.

Thanks again, and my best wishes for happiness to all of you and yours!

Love,

-ROC

If you like my work you can support me at https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-todd-rule-of-claw-rebuild-life

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/9/1/2120015/-Long-Covid-is-Crushing-Me-and-I-Feel-Trapped-With-Nowhere-to-Turn-I-Truly-Need-Your-Help

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