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Education in the MAGAverse [1]

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Date: 2022-08-31

Much like many other parents this week, I put my kids (10 and 7) on the bus to start a new school year. It’s an annual rite of passage that we have all gone through as kids and then some of us renewing that ritual with our own kids. This morning as my kids were getting on the bus I noticed all the young faces looking back at me. All the kids from diverse backgrounds who will grow up and be unique adults that contribute in different ways. Those kids were going to school to learn about our history, explore science, love math, read books that will expand their worlds, and meet kids from various places. That’s today. How would that change in the MAGAverse?

The MAGAverse is simply America with an authoritarian government. Our leaders would be Trump, DeSantis, Cruz, Greene, Gaetz, Graham, Gym Jordan, and the rest of the authoritarian wanna-be’s. The possibility of that happening is closer than we realize. If that happened, that would fundamentally change our kid’s educational experience.

Let’s start with the bus ride to school because there would be no bus ride to school. In the MAGAverse there are no social programs of any kind. The MAGAverse is a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” place, so find your own damn ride to school. And the schools would no longer be public schools, they would all be charter and private schools. Again, there are zero social programs.

The school buildings would not be friendly places. They would all have one door and no windows. They would be surrounded by armed guards and barbed wire. They would need to be this way in order to protect the children inside from all the lunatics outside casually walking around with loaded weapons of war and mass murder. In the MAGAverse the 2nd amendment is now the 1st amendment. AR-15’s are a God given MAGA right.

Inside the schools wouldn’t be any less violent. The MAGAverse requires corporal punishment, just like is happening today in Missouri. Teachers and administrators would not only be allowed, but encouraged, to use violence to punish kids. Bring back the ruler strikes across the knuckles. Bare bottom spanking will be a normal part of the day. When you kid comes home with a black eye, you’ll ask “Did you get in a fight, or did you misbehave in Ms. Mahoney’s class again?” Kids will learn to fear authority.

They would learn that Abraham Lincoln started a war to take the South’s state rights and the North violated the South’s God chosen way of life. Every kid would learn the amazing history of the Trump family. How wildly successful they all are. How perfect they are. How MAGA they are. Kids would have no clue who Martin Luther King was. Obama would be a domestic terrorist. So would Hillary. The mere mention of CRT would result in ten lashings and expulsion. Kids would understand that America, especially the South, is God’s country.

But not all schools would be military fortresses, only the schools for the white kids would be. In the MAGAverse segregation is the law. Any kids who isn’t white, straight and cisgender would be lucky to get any education at all. The MAGAverse doesn’t educate kids who have no future. Kids from the LGBTQIA communities would be persecuted and either forced into inhumane conversion treatments or driven to suicide. MAGAverse only has room for white, straight, cisgender people. Everyone else can go fuck themselves.

Even in the white fortresses there would be segregation. White girls wouldn’t be on any sort of academic track, they would be on the homemaking track. Their days would be filled with classes in Home Ec, child rearing, obedience, how to be a good wife, how they have no say in any aspect of their lives, and, of course, Bible studies.

Bible studies would be the main focus in MAGAverse schools. The curriculum would be constructed around White Christian Nationalism. Our kids would learn that their heroes are Jesus, Robert E. Lee, and Stonewall Jackson. The school day will start with a prayer to Jesus and MAGA, end with a prayer to Jesus and MAGA and have 4 or 5 other prayers sprinkled in throughout the day. Through perverse interpretations, they will be taught that the Bible supports all that MAGA is.

White boys would learn how to be MAGA men. They will learn the Art of the Deal. They will learn that a man’s word is only as good as the assault weapon behind it. White boys will learn that they are not to be questioned. They will learn that all that is required of them is unwavering loyalty to MAGA. As long as they remain loyal, they can do as they please. They will learn that there is always consent, even when there is not. They will learn that their property includes other human beings, their wives and children are theirs to do with as they please. They will be taught that everyone else is inferior to them. All other countries, especially brown and black countries, are shitholes. They will grow up to be dumb, violent, and extremely loyal.

In the MAGAverse school systems would be designed to create a population that consists of people who are white supremacist, gun loving, Bible thumping, hate mongering, close minded, uneducated, and cruel people who look in the mirror and say to themselves “I’m the fucking best.”

If you don’t think this can happen, don’t vote. Don’t get involved. Don’t support those who oppose this type of world. Sit back, relax, and let the MAGAverse take over. It will only hurt in the beginning, then your brain will be washed, and you will be MAGA too.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/8/31/2119933/-Education-in-the-MAGAverse

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