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An Evolving Story... [1]
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Date: 2022-08-26
DeSantis in his vacuous "David Puddy" death stare...
Dr. Felix LeFelinus, an obscure academic, with the rather eclectic double Phd in political science and paleontology...has upended the nascent 2024 Presidential race… According to Dr. LeFelinus, he had a veritable “Eureka!” moment while writing an opinion piece about Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. Taking a sip of coffee while thinking of his next line, his eye wandered to some pictures of prehistoric humans that lined his study wall… “ I can honestly say that I can now relate to the feeling that Archimedes must have felt upon the sudden discovery of what is known as the “Archimedian Principle of Bouyancy”… and painstakingly detailed analysis and comparisons between pictures of DeSantis and Neanderthals confirmed his discovery, as shocking as it may seem… Gov. Ron DeSantis is the elusive “missing link” between prehistoric and modern man (Homo Sapiens)*
“Without going into jargon-laced detail, DeSantis’ preternaturally protruding ocular orbits suffice to show clearly the unmistakeable connection between the Governor and “cave men”... of course the Political Scientist in me immediately saw massive constitutional questions regarding the eligiblity of a candidate who may well be prehuman.” “Throw in a devastatingly unevolved intellect and seemingly absent capacity for logical thinking… and I rest my case.”
* to avoid having his writings on this subject banned or burned in the state of Florida, DeFelinus has decided to use the term Modern Man rather than Homo Sapiens in his work… naturally Homo Erectus would be right out... Jake Blount
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