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Jared Kushner strongly denies he ratted out Trump, which automatically makes him a leading suspect [1]

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Date: 2022-08-24

That’s the speculation, anyway—and it seems that much more credible after Brittle Lord Fauntleroy himself, on Megyn Kelly’s podcast, said it’s “absolutely not true, categorically in every way.” Oh, so totally, 100% true, in other words? According to Insider:

Okay, so that’s no surprise. If you stare deep into Kushner’s eyes, you won’t find a glimmer of a soul, but you may see an infinite regression of Jared Kushners arrayed like Russian nesting dolls, each dutifully fellating the next derpity-derp in line. Indeed, Kushner seems like the kind of guy who’s fiercely loyal right up to the point where it becomes mildly inconvenient for him. (His self-serving memoir should be evidence enough of his serial self-servitude.)

As for Mary Trump’s and Michael Cohen’s speculation that this raid has Kushner’s regal fingerprints all over it, Boy Kush was predictably dismissive: “The more outlandish of an accusation you make, especially if it includes me, the media will write about it and create headlines,” he said. “Mary and Michael figured it out.”

Of course, while Kushner’s almost preternatural lack of charisma certainly doesn’t dissuade journalists from writing about him—I mean, the guy would be almost impossible not to push into a locker; I think that actually may be one of Newton’s lesser-known laws of motion—the fact that he allegedly decided it was okay to sacrifice blue state voters to COVID-19 because they don’t support Trump could be motivating as well. (For the record, as someone who had his books spilled almost daily during high school, I do not endorse shoving anyone into a locker. Unless they’re forced into said fate by a federal judge hewing strictly to standard sentencing guidelines and broadly accepted constitutional norms.)

Now, if Kushner is the rat, he’s not tipping his hand. He’s just as outraged as the rest of MAGA that the government would retrieve 300 highly sensitive classified documents from his father-in-law’s basement after subpoenaing them and repeatedly asking for their return. “It just seems like they keep trying to find new things to get [Trump] on, and I'm sure if this one doesn't work they'll try to fine him for jaywalking, or a traffic ticket, but they're being very aggressive to do it,” said Kushner.

Well, if Trump gets a speeding ticket while driving to the Saudi embassy with a trunkful of enriched uranium and Robert Oppenheimer’s notebooks, Kushner might actually be right for once. But this whole mess seems just a bit more serious than a traffic ticket.

Then again, given Tuesday night’s election results—particularly the surprise Democratic win in New York’s District 19—it’s starting to look like MAGA may just die at the altar of Roe v. Wade. But it’s weird to think that Trump’s political career might ultimately be undone by abortion—and not one he secretly paid for.

Of course, it probably doesn’t matter whether Kushner actually ratted out his father-in-lawlessness. It’s enough that Trump thinks he might have. That should be enough to open up an unbridgeable chasm between these two upper-class twits.

Grab some popcorn. And if you happen to have $2 billion in Saudi blood money squirreled away in your basement, buy popcorn futures. This could get weird.

Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Or, if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/8/24/2118493/-Jared-Kushner-strongly-denies-he-ratted-out-Trump-which-automatically-makes-him-a-leading-suspect

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