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This Can't Be Real Life. There Is Now A Trump Burger. No Wonder Whataburger Sent Me A Coupon. [1]

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Date: 2022-08-01

Can this be real? Can people be so fundamentally deluded as to actually open up a Trump themed business? Yes. Where could it be I wonder?

Texas has issues, and that breaks my heart. I love the state. Functionally it is four masses of blue surrounded by rural red, although that is an oversimplification. Suburbs vary, and it is not wise to make assumptions about a voting block. But basically, it is a drift towards the day when the cities overwhelm the rural area with blue vote.

It won’t be long. But until that they, please enjoy a look at artery clogging commerce at its finest.

Roland Beainy, a second-generation Lebanese-American and Trump supporter, told the Houston Chronicle he opened the restaurant in Bellville, Texas in 2020, a year after moving back to the US after living in Lebanon for several years. "Being an immigrant from a place where everything is bad and you work for almost $200, you see somebody like him to support the country and get the economy doing better. Me being an entrepreneur, I appreciate what he did," he told the newspaper. Politically themed restaurants can become divisive, but the metrics appear in Beainy's favor given Trump won almost 80% of the vote in Austin County where Bellville is located in 2020.

The place brands Trump on burgers. No I am not joking. Curiously, Mr. Beainy says he had some difficulties at first with the reaction from some customers. A few people wanted to, his words, “burn the place down.” "We got a lot of bad calls at the start – people who wanted to burn the place down," Beainy told the newspaper. "It was scary at first, but we don't have those calls anymore. We have a great following, and not all of them are Trump supporters. They come for the food and the service."

Ah yes, the food and the service. I am sure I will be given amazing service as I am treated to such legendary tales as,

How Trump Tweeted Us Out of WWIII

The Man With More Snow Than Aspen, The Donald Trump Jr. Story

How Roger Stone’s Rug Convinced Me To Do A Combover

And my favorite,

The Day Trump Shifted A Hurricane With a Magic Sharpie

Bellville is about an hour northwest of Houston, and is not friendly territory to team blue. but I am all for bigly small businesses, and helping them, so I have a few marketing ideas for their restaurant if the Mango Menace dons a matching jumpsuit.

1. The Jailbird! A breaded orange chicken breast with Munster cheese.

2. The Russian Reuben! A traditional Reuben with Russian dressing.

3. The Cruz Missile! A hot sauced bratwurst served on a custom collectible “Cancun” plate.

4. The Impossible Greene! All the burger, none of the bun.

5. The Barbarian at the Gaetz! A double burger with jalapenos, Monterey Jack, chipotle crema, bacon jam, and a coupon for a free bottle of Aqua Net from Walgreens.

Actually that last one sounds pretty good.

Anyways, feel free to add on menu ideas, as I am sure Lindsay Graham, Kevin McCarthy, Elise Stefanik, and Herschel Walker don’t want to be left out.

It’s Trump Burger, in the United States. Of America.

The only thing it is missing is a golf course with a mausoleum.

-ROC

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/8/1/2113899/-This-Can-t-Be-Real-Life-There-Is-Now-A-Trump-Burger-No-Wonder-Whatburger-Sent-Me-A-Coupon

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