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Letter from Donald Duck Drumpf [1]

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Date: 2022-07-07

June 24, 2022

Dear Sycophants:

You see, I, Donald Duck Drumpf, can use big words, too!!! And I want you to remember that it was thanks to me that we got rid of Roe and abortion. ME! ME! ME!! For the first time in memory the Supreme Court took back a human right!!! It was only a human right for women, so it doesn’t matter that my nominees lied at their hearings. My Republican Senators covered their ears and heard no evil and came through for me, and you should, too!!! The end justifies the means.

But that is just the beginning!! Thanks to good men like Sam Alito, we will fly backward in order to Make America Great Again!!! Back to the Divinely inspired Constitution that did not provide abortion rights. In fact, it did not provide any rights to women, so that is where we should go. Back to the Divinely inspired 18th century Constitution, when only white male landowners had voting rights – and most any other rights. Remember, all MEN are created equal, but only wealthy enough ones get the goodies, even if they inherited it, like me. Women couldn’t inherit then. Or Negroes. So that’s where we need to go back to - when America was truly great!!!

But don’t think I am a racist or anti-feminist! There are some fine people on all sides. We need our tokens. For example, we have our good colored man Clarence on the Court as well as our good woman Amy, both good, Republican Christians. In fact, if things keep going our way with God’s help, our Supremes may end up being more invincible than the Vatican and other churches that keep women in their place and, as in some fine churches, other lesser beings as well, like colored people and gays. You know I am a good Christian because you saw me hold up the Bible in front of some church after we shoved all those heathen protestors out of our way so I could get a photo-op. Oh, we LOVE women. I’ve had many. I EVEN MARRIED THREE!!!

And even that is just a start!! We’ll end immigration, starting with serial immigrants like my wife’s parents, although they were okay because what is good for wealthy white elite men is good for the country and rightfully above the law, as we all know. That’s why Nixon was pardoned and why I was not convicted and probably won’t be. All the poor, struggling immigrants are rapists and druggies and have to be kept out. They’re aliens, not people. Not like my in-laws.

America may not yet be fully authoritarian like the countries led by great white men I admire, like Putin, Orban, Duterte, Erdogan, Bolsonaro, Kim. But we’re getting there fast, so don’t worry!! Just keep voting for my Republican sycophants who are more interested in wealth and power for themselves and the Party than for these silly human rights that cause all our problems. If you put me back in power, my personal Justice Department will let you know that any election that doesn’t keep me in power is CORRUPT, and my Republican legislators and I will take care of the rest - FOREVER. I promise you bread and circuses to distract you from being pregnant and barefoot. We will distribute guns to everyone 12 and over, to keep the bad guys outgunned. Although the current economic situation is bad worldwide, caused by the pandemic and the Ukrainian war, we’re far better off than most. But blame the Democrats anyway!!! With me, you will even get to eat cake while the rest of the world goes without grain because they don’t deserve it. (And don’t believe that hooey about climate change!! What you see is a lie!!)

In Republican Glory, not like the soft Republicans of past years,

The Donald

Donald Duck Drumpf

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/7/7/2109030/-Letter-from-Donald-Duck-Drumpf

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