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". . . and the Rockets red glare . . . " Yeah, not for me. Thanks just the same [1]

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Date: 2022-07-04

I love summer. I always have. I love the weather (unless global warming lifts its ugly head, and it becomes 110 degrees). I didn’t become a teacher because of summers, but it’s a nice perk. Ironically, I have tended to work most summers, but there is still that feeling of freedom. Of reckless abandon. I love being able to take walks without snow on the ground. I love sleeping in past 5:30 am. When my children were little, I loved taking them to their various summer activities like Library Time, park and rec tennis lessons, t-ball (and later baseball) and going with them to the local pool. I love family vacations. And, even though Sept.1st signaled the end of my summer revelry, I was okay with that because I loved my job and my colleagues. However, Covid and trump have altered some of that. Unfortunately, I have turned into a rather bitter, crabby and anxious middle-aged woman. You add to that my frustration at the male patriarchy and the suffering of the Ukrainians, and I’m feeling sad and unsettled.

I grew up in the Chicago suburbs, so I was able to make the rounds of fireworks during the fourth of July gatherings. I did the ChicagoFest/Taste of Chicago celebrations each year (even when it was beastly hot and a Diet Coke cost more than a kidney replacement, but you did get that cool souvenir cup). I love the city in the summer. Currently, I live near several lakes and rivers, and nothing gleams in the sunshine like the Mighty Mississippi (maybe Lake Michigan, but I digress). My town has a terrific fireworks display, of which my neighbor is proud participant. However, about six years ago, he decided not to like us when he realized we didn’t love trump. It’s a shame because we really liked him and his family. He always knew the neighborhood gossip, and was super handy. He helped us put in our screen door, among other things. However, now I think he is purposefully setting of LOTS of noisy fireworks as I write this just to be irritating. My poor cats are cowering under my bed.

This fourth of July, I am mad that the SCOTUS took away my love of the fourth and fireworks. I am just not feeling the liberty and justice vibe. I recently learned (a few hours ago in fact) that a right-leaning, Lee Harvey Oswald (supposedly)-loving loon from Chicago shot up a parade today in Highland Park, Illinois. He positioned himself on a roof (like Oswald) and killed six people and injured over 31. Highland Park is pretty affluent. One doesn’t associate gunfire with HIghland Park. So, why this place? Why this suburb? Well, I’m just spit-balling here, but Highland Park is one of a few Chicago suburbs to contain a fairly large population of Jewish residents. Granted, I am speculating, but after seeing some mugshots of this guy, I’m going with my gut and saying, “yep, if he isn’t a Proud Boy, he sure wants to be.” Yet, ironically, this guy has more rights than I currently do. He purchased an assault rifle and was known to associate with hate groups, if Chicago news is reporting accurately and can be trusted. Yep, this violent and dangerous man now has more rights than my daughter. I pay my taxes. I have always held down a job (since 1979)—full or part time. I’ve never been arrested. My worst offense has been a speeding ticket. My daughter hasn’t even gotten one of those. But somehow this guy wandering around Highland Park streets and Highland Park roofs with an assault rifle has been gifted more rights than women. This hater. This murderer.

I’m probably going to overshare here, but I feel compelled to do so. My first pregnancy was unplanned. However, we ultimately embraced this news and started getting excited. We even shared the news with my parents. Sadly, the pregnancy proved non-viable, and my OB-GYN suggested it would be best to have a D and C. I wouldn’t have to, but the fetus would eventually be extracted from my body, and it might prove painful and highly unpleasant if I waited. The surgery wasn’t a breeze, and I was in physical and mental discomfort. Unfortunately, many miscarriages would follow, but I would ultimately be blessed with children.

Thinking about that D and C. I suspect I would not be able to have that procedure if I found myself pregnant and in the same condition today. I really don’t know because I haven’t investigated the ramifications of this in my current state. But I am aware, several privileged Supreme Court Justices made a decision that is not based on majority wishes. I am also aware that victims of rape and incest will now be required to carry a child (depending on where they live) if one results whether they want to or not. The men on the Supreme Court don’t have to worry about this. Chances of them being raped are extraordinarily low, and they certainly will not get pregnant. No skin of their predominately white noses.

I don’t want to be anti-American. Sure, I have certainly had my anti-American moments, but in general, I am a proud patriot. Nonetheless, I have always supported students in my classes who have not wanted to stand for the pledge. For whatever reasons. Had I not recently retired, that would be me next year. I’d be refusing to stand and say the pledge. Would I be allowed to do so? Would this decision get me in trouble at my school with my students’ parents? I really don’t know. A lot of crazy rules (particularly of late) have impacted my teaching and life at school, so who knows?

I realize both of my recent blogs have ended with questions. I have a Type A personality. I like to have my life planned out. I like to know where I stand regarding rules, laws and life. I am not comfortable with uncertainty, but what choice do I have? I had more rights as a woman when I was a student in the late seventies and eighties. I had more autonomy in my classroom in the nineties. So, as I listen to my obnoxious neighbor continually set off noisy and super loud fireworks, I feel agitated and worried. I really don’t know what to expect from my government and my country over the next year or two.

As I glance at the clock, I am guessing my town’s fireworks display is over. Aside from the incessant noise from next door, tonight was pretty much like all my other nights. That is a shame. I like vocalizing my satisfaction at a brightly lit up sky. I like honking my car horn at the grand finale, but not this year. Maybe I’ll have more reasons to celebrate in 2023. I hope so. Our flag is still there. But land of the free? Not so much anymore.

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[1] Url: https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2022/7/4/2108458/--and-the-Rockets-red-glare-Yeah-not-for-me-Thanks-just-the-same

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