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My new Fourth of July tradition is getting so stoned I think I'm Canadian [1]
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Date: 2022-07-03
I like holiday parties as much as the next guy—so long as the next guy is Howard Hughes circa 1975. As such, I was unlikely to celebrate this Fourth of July with anything approaching the requisite vim or vigor.
The fireworks freak out our dogs, I don’t eat anything with nitrites, and even before COVID transformed me into a quasi-translucent proto-Gollum, I wasn’t much for the kinds of soirees where people show up at your house just because you asked them to. And thanks to the duly prescribed laws and regulations of the state of Oregon, which I’ve called home for the past seven years, cannabis has made me lazy and sapped my will to live … within 10 miles of another human being.
But hey, that’s just me. Cavorting through elysian fields of sticky-icky bud in lieu of grinding against shirtless louts in Dave Matthews Band mosh pits is my choice and prerogative—and that’s what America is all about. Or, at least, what it used to be about.
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