Author Name: Carribean Channel, Cuba TV.
This story was originally published on canalcaribe.ict.cu. [1]

Looking for love on the Internet, possible? – Canal Caribe

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Date: 2022-03

We have dedicated more than one space in Sunday’s Report to talk about how the digital age has involved a total change in our practices, perspectives, relationships and lifestyles. To this we must add that the COVID-19 pandemic practically “forced” us to migrate to small screens due to the lack of interaction with the outside world. That is why, less than 24 hours before February 14th, we talk about how the web and ICTs have opened up the range of opportunities to find a partner or establish relationships of various kinds.

What can lead a person to search for love on the Internet? An article on the specialized blog Psicoativa explains that there are multiple reasons: “showing little ability in face-to-face relationships to interact, having a troubled relationship, feeling lonely, having ended a previous relationship, suffering from shyness, being unemployed, not feeling understood by your current partner, being addicted or obsessive with the use of the network, just for fun, thinking of settling down with a person as a life project, abusing others through the use of deceit and lies, just to mention a few” .

According to Francesc Núñez, sociologist and professor of Art and Humanities Studies at the Open University of Catalonia (UOC), although love is still found in the old school, we mean, without a cell phone, social networks have transformed the architecture of choice of couple:

“The Internet has broken barriers such as class or ethnicity and now you can choose from hundreds of profiles. This implies an expansion, but also a refinement of the criteria when choosing our partner”.

Núñez adds that this can also lead to dissatisfaction for many because it encourages them to keep looking, thinking that we can always find someone better. Also, comments the Catalan sociologist, looking for a partner becomes much easier “because you are not showing your face, you can hide your shame, you have time to respond, to edit yourself (…) flirting from home also implies not having to show emotions or, on the other hand, being able to be more daring”.

Following this line, the British newspaper BBC points out in an article that another characteristic of love in Internet times is the possibility of studying the person of our interest. Through search engines like Google, and social networks like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, you can find out about tastes, hobbies, circle of friends… in general, any (public) information about someone’s life. “(…) women dedicate themselves to this task much more than men”, highlights the text.

Once an online dialogue is established with a potential candidate, explains the previously mentioned Psicoativa article, many times a very interesting phenomenon occurs, through which the illusion of being understood by someone who is not known is created, since to share problems that we would share with a person only if we had known them for some time and had some confidence in them. That is to say, many times idyllic connections are established, not necessarily real or deep:

“On the contrary, in a face-to-face relationship (…) first the person is physically known and if we are able to maintain a certain degree of friendship, then I may be able to tell him my most intimate thoughts. A person can have the fantasy of being in love with someone without even knowing him, because this apparent illusion makes the person on the other side of the network suppose that he is understood in the depths of his being by someone he has never seen in his life.”

And like everything in life, this is one of lime and one of sand. When we talk about this new range of opportunities, we are not only referring to singles. Similarly, cyberinfidelity has been born, a term that refers to the relationships established by people who are already in a formal relationship. The crux of these links is that they are not exposed to the wear and tear of daily life, therefore, everything almost always remains a fantasy.

“This type of relationship has a fairly deep component or level of communication in which very intense emotions and affections are expressed that create great mutual dependence and in which there is great tension and energy, although it never materializes into something positive”, exhibits an article from the Spanish newspaper Lanza.

Is it bad to look for love on the Internet? The answer, as always, is to know the limits between reality and life online, as well as to be very careful what and with whom we share our information.

Various authors agree that the majority of online love affairs tend to expire, generally after three months, among other reasons because there is no more torrid communication. The people involved tend to eventually return to offline life where they find the satisfactions of bodily interaction that the network denies them.

“In some cases, lovers meet and this encounter can be, as expected, full of happiness but also the beginning of frustration. In summary, online love can have severe effects on the emotional sphere of the person, produce jealousy due to infidelity, make them feel love as an experience and be the cause of separations, but also, as in most cases, only it may be a gratuitous illusion, of a different way of loving, in this entered 21st century”, they sentence.

Now, if you connect with someone on the Internet or social networks and it’s time to introduce yourself in person, it’s important that you be careful, especially on your first dates. As usual in Sunday´s Report we like to propose tips:

· Be cautious, not necessarily because you feel understood by someone on the network, they really understand you.

· It is likely that both you and the other people in the network have deep unmet needs and form the illusion of being soul mates.

· Avoid providing confidential information as much as possible (cell phone, address or any other personal data that could be used to extort you in the future).

· The more insistent a person is in wanting to meet you, it can be synonymous with an unpleasant surprise.

· When you decide to meet face-to-face, do so in a public place and let someone else know the time and place you will meet.

· Agree with someone you trust to call him or receive his call to make sure you’re okay, after half an hour of your meeting.

Oh, Day of Love and Friendship! How many await you, celebrate you and enjoy you? How many reject you? How many fear you, revile you? The truth is that no one ignores you. The same can be said of the web and social networks. While we elucidate the pros and cons of love on the Internet, let’s enjoy this February 14th!

(C) Cuba TV, Cuban state owned media.
[1] Url: https://www.canalcaribe.icrt.cu/en/looking-for-love-on-the-internet-possible/

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