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O’Shae Sibley's Aunt Speaks Out: “He Had Big Dreams for Life" [1]
['Emily Palmer', 'Emily Palmer Is A Senior Crime Writer At People', 'Where She Has Been A Reporter Since Her Work Has Frequently Appeared In The New York Times', 'Cosmopolitan Magazine.', 'People Editorial Guidelines']
Date: 2023-08
In the days after O’Shae Sibley was stabbed to death after voguing to Beyoncé’s “Renaissance” album at a gas station in Brooklyn late Saturday night, the death of the gay dancer has sparked outrage, gaining attention from Beyoncé herself, as police investigate “a possible biased incident.”
“O’Shae said ‘I’m going to be famous,’” his maternal aunt, Tondra Sibley recalled to PEOPLE. “I’m like, ‘shoot he probably is at this point,’ but he didn’t mean this way.”
In a tearful phone call Tondra, 49, who helped raise O’Shae with his mother in Philadelphia, recalled a young child who “was bouncing around dancing” and a young man who at 28 still made the time to call his aunt nearly every day. He had moved to Brooklyn around the start of the pandemic to pursue “his dream and his love of dance,” his aunt said.
“He had big dreams for life,” she said, recalling one conversation when he told her: “‘Aunt Tondra, I just want to dance: I feel free when I dance.’”
O’Shae Sibley. Sage O.Dumure Versailles/Facebook
O’Shae was stabbed in the torso shortly before 11:15 p.m. Saturday on Coney Island Avenue in Brooklyn, according to police. He was pronounced dead at Maimonides Medical Center. The Hate Crime Task Force within the NYPD investigates all potentially biased incidents. No arrests have yet been made.
Crying through a nearly 15-minute video he recorded in his bedroom and posted to Facebook hours after his best friend’s murder, Otis Peña recalled Sibley’s final moments, as he faded in Peña’s arms. Peña said his friend was murdered because he was gay.
“We as a community don’t deserve this,” Peña said in the video, adding: “We may be gay, but we exist. We’re not going to live in fear. We’re not going to live in hiding. Because everybody knows me and O’Shae we were always out and loud.”
A recent report by Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, a New York organization measuring hate crimes against LGBTQ+ people, notes “the heightened threats facing the LGBTQ+ community in the United States today.” And the group said that killings of LGBTQ+ people have spiked in recent weeks.
“Sibley’s shocking murder follows a disturbing rise in violence and harassment against LGBTQ people across the U.S.,” GLAAD said in a statement. “This cannot continue. No one should have to fear for their safety just for being themselves.”
Senator Brad Hoylman-Sigal, who is openly gay, said in a Tweet Monday that he was “heartbroken and enraged” over O’Shae’s death. He added: “Despite homophobes' best efforts, gay joy is not crime. Hate-fueled attacks are.”
Peña, who called Sibley “my brother,” and described him as “the salt to my pepper, the peanutbutter to my jelly,” said in the Facebook video that the friends had been celebrating Peña’s birthday and were two blocks from Peña’s home when they decided to stop for gas, Beyoncé’s “Renaissance” album playing as they pumped gas.
That’s when several men approached them, spitting homophobic slurs at the friends and instructing O’Shae to stop dancing, then stabbed him, The New York Times reported.
Peña recalled seeing his friend stumble. Running to catch him in his arms and apply pressure to the wound, Sibley was already bleeding out: “Just because he’s trying to let people know that we’re gay, we exist, we don’t disrespect,” Peña said in the video, adding: “Ya’ll took him from me– and not just from me. O'Shae was a beacon of light.”
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One of 11 siblings, O’Shae grew up with his mother and aunt in Philadelphia. Sibley came out as gay “early on,” in his life his aunt said, and was promptly “loved and embraced” by family who also were supportive of his dancing career, filling seats at his earliest childhood recitals.
In middle school, he discovered dance as a potential career path through an inner-city dance program run by Philadelphia dance instructor Karen Pendergrass, his aunt said. He enrolled in ballet as a young teenager, she said. Family members would pour out for his recitals to “cheer him on, glasses on, dancin’ and just cheesin’,” Tondra said.
“He was a light. He was always happy and smiling,” she said. “He loved life, he loved his family, he was passionate about friends.”
At the time of his death, O’Shae was practicing with Ailey Extension, an off-shoot of the prestigious modern dance group, Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, the program said.
“We are shocked and heartbroken that O’Shae’s life has been taken by senseless violence,” the program said in a Facebook post Monday, recalling the dancer’s “incredible energy in the studio” and popularity among instructors and classmates alike.
In tribute to Sibley, Beyoncé’s official website opens with the words “REST IN POWER O’SHAE SIBLEY” the white text on an all-black background. Calling the tribute by one of his favorite artists “overwhelming,” Tondra said she appreciated that Beyoncé “took that time to acknowledge my baby.”
Tondra, who is now planning a celebration of life with O’Shae’s siblings, said she hoped people took inspiration from O’Shae’s story: “Just to live their dreams, pursue their dreams, be happy, if there’s something you love to do, pursue it and do it.”
As for her nephew: “I just want justice to be served," she said. "This was pointless.”
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https://people.com/oshae-sibleys-aunt-recalls-conversation-before-death-7568963
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