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Doom ported to SQL: welcome to hell [1]
['Rob Beschizza']
Date: 2025-09-16
Getting seminal first-person shooter Doom running on minimal or bizarre hardware is a sport among hackers, but the fact that Doom runs in fast, portable C makes it possible. What if Doom were instead ported to the least convenient and most inappropriate language? How about Structured Query Language, designed exclusively for use manipulating relational databases?
A computer scientist used only "pure SQL" to construct a multiplayer DOOM-like game. The resulting first-person shooter game, cobbled from a mere ~150 lines of Python code, is dubbed DOOMQL. Despite the self-imposed software architecture restrictions, Lukas Vogel, co-founder of database performance outfit CedarDB, says DOOMQL plays at "a breezy ~30 FPS." It isn't the most graphically splendid DOOM-inspired game, though.
I don't know how it works and I don't want to know how it works. If you want to play it, head over to the GitHub repo and get cracking.
Features
Pure SQL renderer: Raycasting, sprite projection, occlusion, and HUD, all implemented as VIEWS .
Multiplayer: CedarDB handles concurrent players, synchronization, and state.
Hackable game state: Change config, teleport players, or balance weapons with a single UPDATE .
First-class cheating support: Since everyone just talks SQL to the DB, half the fun is figuring out sneaky cheating queries.
Minimal client: 150 lines of Python to capture key presses and display frames to your terminal.
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[1] Url:
https://boingboing.net/2025/09/16/doom-ported-to-sql-welcome-to-hell.html
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