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Why sports drinks are dumb [1]
['Ellsworth Toohey']
Date: 2025-08-07
Until the 1980s, only Boy Scouts and soldiers in the desert carried extra water. Now, we've evolved into a species that treats water bottles like external organs. But mere H2O won't cut it anymore — your bottle must be spiked with premium electrolytes, or risk instant death by mineral deficiency.
As reported in NPR, Americans are now dumping over $10 billion annually into sports drinks, while "wellness influencers" hawk overpriced salt packets, claiming life-changing benefits.
But according to medical experts and sports that NPR interviewed, unless you're running ultramarathons or lost in Death Valley, your body isn't desperately crying out for Grape Shocker (yes, that's a real Powerade flavor, because apparently we're all 12 years old now).
Your kidneys — those magnificent little filters — are actually pretty good at their job. They've been managing your salt levels since before Gatorade was a twinkle in Dr. Cade's eye.
"But what about all those precious minerals I'm sweating out?" Western diet already gives you triple the sodium you need. Contrary to popular belief your body isn't a leaky bag hemorrhaging essential nutrients every time you break a sweat.
Dr. Tamara Hew-Butler explains that your body requires these micronutrients in "very small amounts." Translation: You're not going to dissolve into a puddle of under-mineralized goo if you drink [gasp] plain water.
So unless you're planning to join the Navy SEALs or take up professional beach volleyball, maybe skip the $8 sugar-salt cocktail. Your wallet — and your body — will thank you.
Previously:
• Is it safe to horsemaxx with horse electrolytes?
• University of Maryland claims sponsor's chocolate milk helps concussion recovery
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