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Important science still underway at the Journal of Imaginary Research [1]

['Rob Beschizza']

Date: 2025-05-19

The Journal of Imaginary Research publishes fiction presented in the form of formal research abstracts.

The imagined research abstracts, and their imagined researchers were constructed by real academic staff, research staff, and research students. We, Dr Kay Guccione (connect on LinkedIn here) and Dr Matthew Cheeseman, produce a new Volume of the Journal of Imaginary Research each November, as November is Global Academic Writing Month.

They're short and good. I ran quickly through a couple of volumes to sanity-check linking the project; here's vol. 7's A mixed-methods study of cats asking to be let outside, by Carisa Showden.

Feline supremacy literature is rife with examples of cats demanding their owners open the nearest door, only to then stand half inside/half outside, uninterested in completing the task of leaving the home or even a room. The research team at Frustrated Feline Famuli tested three hypotheses about the motivation for this behaviour: (1) felines are forgetful; (2) felines are deeply indecisive; (3) felines just like to f*** with their owners. Multiple

methods were employed: repeated observational studies; content analysis of on-line social media posts by cats' servants; and interviews with the researchers' feline companions ('In or out; what's it going to be?'; 'Do I look like I have all day to stand here watching you stand in the doorway?'). While mixed motivations were frequently observed, in 98% of interviews, 95% of observational studies, and 99.73% of online sources, the third hypothesis was strongly supported. When asked for comment, interviewed cats jumped onto the researchers' laps, rubbed their heads under the questioner's chin and purred loudly. Follow-up studies to ascertain why felines can only vomit on white rugs are delayed because the lead researcher is now pinned to her chair, unable to disturb Baby Toe Bean Mittens McFlufferstons.

I always wanted to write fiction in the form of an ISO standard and this is telling me that dreams can come true!

Spotted via Hacker News, where one commenter was reminded of the Annals of Improbable Research and the Journal of Irreproducible Results, which have a surprisingly fractious history.

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