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Classic doorstop buttplug [1]

['Rob Beschizza']

Date: 2022-08-31

When I was a kid, I was isolated from extended family by my unwell mother, whose paranoia and fear led her to do and believe irrational things. I rarely saw my paternal grandparents, and it was a great joy to visit them at their house in Kent when I was about five or six years old. The house was a 1930s suburban semi-detached with a plan all Britons surely know by heart, whose geography I remembered from toddlerhood and compulsively re-explored. My favorite thing there? The metal-spring doorstops, which I quickly learned made that noise when flicked. I was in raptures of laughter, laughter that remained as hysterical as the first moment, even as my grandfather went from amusement to thinly smiling tolerance and finally to eye-twitching fury as I sat there flicking it over and over again.

DRrrrr. DDdrrrrrRrr. (*pulling it all the way back*) Brbrdrbrbrbrdrbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrri.

I didn't see them again for years. But when I did—I must have been a teenager by then—I immediately located a doorstop and did it again. Grandad's eye twitched. And he laughed.

One day I heard he died, a heart attack that left him on the floor by his bed alone in the house until he was found by his son, my uncle, and rushed to hospital. I heard the noise, unbidden, a neural trapdoor opening on the past, on all the things unresolved and unsaid.

Anyhoo, I just found out that a company called Naughty Indulgence makes a "unique buttplug" version of this classic doorstop design . It's $15.95.

[END]
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