===========================================================================
Archive Maintainer : A mapper was miscredited, this file has been
updated to reflect the correction
Update to : /idgames/levels/doom2/Ports/megawads/tabcmc.zip
Advanced engine needed : limit removing
Primary purpose : Single Player
===========================================================================
Title : The Abyss Presents: Crappy Map Contest
Filename : TAbCMC.wad
Release date : August 5, 2009 (Compiled May 20, 2022)
Author : Annunakitty
Email Address : [redacted]
Description : The result of a mapping contest back in July
2009 for who could make the worst maps possible.
Darkwave0000 won the contest, but it turns out
that the entire universe lost as a result.
You may have noticed that this contest happened
13 years ago and is only just now getting a
proper release. Sorry about that, I was, uh, in
the bathroom.
Additional Credits to : Aaronjw, Eponasoft, Reaper978, Jickle,
Deathdealer, Ilya Seletsky, leilei, Walter
Confalonieri, Paul Corfiatis, Joe Beahan,
Darkwave0000, Travers Dunne, Mr. Freeze, Pavera,
DarckRedd, LogicDeLuxe, Fatal, InsanityBringer,
Wills, Gifty, Arrrgh, JustSomeMusicGuy, Rusty
Slacker, bumblequin
===========================================================================
* What is included *
New levels : 23
Sounds : No
Music : Yes
Graphics : Yes
Dehacked/BEX Patch : Yes
Demos : No
Other : No
Other files required : N/A
* Play Information *
Game : DOOM2
Map # : 01-21 + 2 others
Single Player : Designed for
Cooperative 2-4 Player : Limited
Deathmatch 2-4 Player : Limited
Other game styles : N/A
Difficulty Settings : Not implemented
* Construction *
Base : New from scratch ?
Build Time : 13 years apparently
Editor(s) used : Various
Known Bugs : Yes. Let's just be happy that this wad even runs.
May Not Run With : Vanilla compatible ports that do not remove
engine limits
Tested With : GZDoom 4.5.0, PrBoom+ 2.6.2, Crispy Doom 5.11.1
===========================================================================
* Credits & Details *
* Competition Details *
Judged (& Endured) by:
Rusty Slacker & bumblequin (as Newt/Ace)
Details about the competition and the results can be found in the Doomworld
thread:
https://www.doomworld.com/forum/topic/46655-contest-make-a-crappy-but-completable-map/?page=3&tab=comments#comment-802984
* Compilation Details *
Compiled by : Annunakitty
Custom Graphics : TITLEPIC, M_DOOM, & CREDIT by Annunakitty
Music : DM2TTL : "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley,
sequenced to MIDI by Unknown
D_DM2INT : "Final Fantasy 2 Victory Theme" by Nobuo
Uematsu, sequenced to MIDI by Jason Zaffary
Notes:
* Each map was intended to be pistol-started but some of them you may
find nearly impossible to do so. "Down's," for example, requires using
the chainsaw to blow up several barrels and... good luck with that.
* Darkwave0000's map was the contest winner! Congrats on being the worst!
* JSMG's map was disqualified, and couldn't be included in the
compilation, because it contains DECORATE features. It's still a lot
of fun anyway!
* arrrgh's map was disqualified because while it *technically* has an
exit and is *technically* possible to complete, doing so is so unlikely
that it might as well be impossible. Also it has a "crash the game"
button, so you have been warned. Great job doing a terrible job!
* A zip containing the original, individual submissions can be downloaded
via the following Mediafire link:
http://www.mediafire.com/?4rnqz2nkwkn
* By the way, sorry about Fatal's map name and description. I'm
presenting it as-is for historical preservation, but I don't condone
making fun of people with disabilities.
* Map Details *
MAP01
Level Name : "TEH MOST EP1C M4PZORZ EVAH"
Author : Aaronjw
Description : "You are equipped with a BFG9000. To win the game, you
must kill the spider demon behind the door... or do
you?"
MAP02
Level Name : "DAVE01"
Author : Eponasoft
Editors Used : Yadex
Description : "Just a litle test map to get used to Doom map making."
Author Comments : "Yep...I called it DAVE01 just for the contest. That's
my real name...of course.
This is actually my first map ever. I installed Yadex
this morning and have been messing with it most of the
day.
So here ya go...my crappy entry. :P"
MAP03
Level Name : "Shafted by the Man"
Author : Reaper978
Description : "A pointless hallway. There are doors, rooms with
contradicting themes, and a zombieman in each room.
Tada. I put far too much effort into this pile of
horseshit, so I hope you're entertained.
Prepare to be shafted."
MAP04
Level Name : "Calooby"
Author : Jickle
Editors Used : Doombuilder
Description : "A map with many copied and pasted squares with only
one sector which isn't copied. Completeable."
MAP05
Level Name : "stupid.wad"
Author : Deathdealer
Editors Used : DB2
Description : "Entry to the NewDoom crappywad contest"
MAP06
Level Name : "illJoke"
Author : Ilya Seletsky (as potnop)
Editors Used : Doom Builder, Wintex, XWE
Music : "Hit the Lights" by Metallica, sequenced to MIDI by
Unknown
Description : "A map created for the contest called:
Make a crappy but completable map
The idea sounded fun and led to me creating these
levels and having many laughs along the way.
Here is the epic description that follows:
Shit has finally hit the fan at UAC as the monsters
are invading the primary research subspace array.
You are the only marine bad ass enough to emerge
victorious and stop this invasion.
The map is divided into parts
Part 1: Deathly Frontier
------------------------
You enter the source of the invasion in the UAC test
chamber. This is the last room with any semblance of
technology left. Beyond the hallway lies the path to
hell. Battle through the gate guardians and proceed.
Part 2: Garden of Delinquency
-----------------------------
You suddenly appear in a beautiful garden. Wait no,
it's anything but beautiful. The crooked trees are
alone enough to fill any badass marine with dread of
what's to come, not to mention the run across to the
other side that seems basically impossible. You must
persevere and reach the exit wall to proceed. Go
forth warrior.
Part 3: Hallway of madness
--------------------------
Suddenly you appear at the end of a long hallway.
The walls fill you with madness as you think about
how annoying it is that the textures are the default
doom builder textures. Now you start your trek down
the long hallway to see what's ahead. Don't be
discouraged by what comes next. If you put your mind
to it you can accomplish anything and get out of
this claustrophobic place.
Part 4: The final battle
------------------------
This is the moment you have been waiting for. The
evil visage of the most horrible demon you have ever
seen lies at the top of the invisible hill. This
place is full of the most evil of nazis as well. Is
that... Is that Hitler? No matter, the important
task now is to rend the evil head to peices."
MAP07
Level Name : "Station of the Darkness"
Author : leilei
Music : Unknown
Editors Used : DCK 2.2, MIDI2MUS
Description : "You are exiting your UAC station on the planet Mars,
but you have to get the hell out of here. And by that
you mean the hell literally. Use your wit's and srip
past the monsters you cant kill and; blast your way
through the colen."
MAP08
Level Name : "Shitty"
Author : Annunakitty (as Nomad)
Editors Used : Doom Builder 2, SLumpED
Music : "Sweet Dreams" by Marilyn Manson, sequenced to MIDI by
Unknown
Description : "Sonic waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked
out of the air. There were hams in the fridge. He
didn't see them, but had expected them now for years.
His warnings to Tails were not listenend to and now it
was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Sonic was a space hedgehog for fourteen years. When he
was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad
"I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY HAMS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got
oldered he stopped. But now in the space station fridge
of the UAC he knew there were hams.
"This is Tails" the radio crackered. "You must fight
the hams!"
So Sonic gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the hams
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberham and he fired
the rocket missiles. Sonic plasmaed at him and tried to
blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were
trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the hams" he shouted
The radio said "No, Sonic. You are the hams"
And then Sonic was a rumproast."
MAP09
Level Name : "best wad ever from doomworld BBS!"
Author : Walter Confalonieri
Music : "Blaster master Area 2" by Sunsoft, sequenced to MIDI
by Leopold McGinnis
Description : "short, insane, crap, maybe too "jokewad".Whatever,
here it is."
MAP10
Level Name : "THIS AINT WOS (and The Enidrill)"
Author : Paul Corfiatis
Description : "This is not WOS trust me! - Introducing the new highly
advanced enemy canceling system, The Enidrill!"
MAP11
Level Name : "Hell Gate"
Author : Joe Beahan (as Nixot)
Editors Used : Doom Builder
Description : "My entry for the crappy-but-playable map contest.
Playable. Just about."
MAP12
Level Name : "Darkwave17, TH3 L33T M4P"
Author : Darkwave0000
Music : "Untitled" by Darkwave0000
Description : "This is a Doom2 map for Crappy Map Contest 2009. I am
hoping you despise this map as much as I enjoyed making
it. ^_^"
MAP13
Level Name : "1994!"
Author : Travers Dunne
Editors Used : SLADE 2.0 Alpha
Description : "Made for a contest to make a "crappy map". Very basic
and I kinda made in what I recall as my own original
progression of learning to make maps (although I
certainly didn't do all this on the one map back then).
Enjoy?"
MAP14
Level Name : "666 DEMONS"
Author : Mr. Freeze
Description : "My entry for the "Worst .wad" Competition
* The Story So Far... *
Mr. Freeze waited. The lights above him blinked and
sparked out of the air. There were bugs in the .wad. He
didn't see them, but had expected them now for years.
His warnings to Cyb were not listenend to and now it
was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Mr. Freeze was a mapper for fourteen years. When he was
young he watched the maps and he said to dad "I want to
make maps daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE MOCKED BY DOOMWORLD"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got
oldered he stopped. But now in the .wad of the laptop
he knew there were bugs.
"This is Cyb" the radio crackered. "You must fix the
bugs!"
So John gotted his Dombuilder and deleted the linedefs.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the bugs
"I will shoot at him" said the bug and he made a
self-referencing sector. Mr. freeze deleted at him and
tried to fix the map. But then Doombuilder crashed and
they were trapped and not able to code.
"No! I must fix the bugs!" he shouted
The radio said "No, Mr. Freeze. You are the bugs"
And then this map was made."
MAP15
Level Name : "The Labyrinth of DOOM"
Author : Walker Wright (as pavera)
Description : "A dank, dark, dripping labyrinth filled with
bloodthirsty demons. What could be around the next
corner? Who knows. Featuring the innovative new OPTICAL
CEILING technology! In other words I tried to achieve
the essense of 1994 as best as possible."
MAP16
Level Name : "Oops! I Did It Again"
Author : DarckRedd
Music : "Oops! I Did It Again" by Britney Spears, sequenced to
midi by Mario Rol
Description : "The premise of this crap is simple. It looks like
shit. It plays like shit. And, best of all, it treats
the player like shit.
Inspired by Kayin's notorious
freeware platformer I Wanna Be the Guy. This isn't
quite that difficult, but it plays unfair tricks in the
same way."
MAP17
Level Name : "I must win this contest, or u will be BFG'ed."
Author : LogicDeLuxe
Description : "u found uself in a D??M level duh. seriously, this is
a D??M level. well actually a D??M || (2) level. an
cyberdamon is guarding a tree stump (end a sky door
behinds it). thou must killz that bustard to enter the
sky. ones u did dat, u willst enconter a 1337 D??M
letters which do looks extra ordinary real, but don't
forget that this is just a uber1337 hi detaild bunch of
sectors. impressive, hu? there are a fu hidden weapns
in this nice logo. find them and pick tehm
up!!!!!!!!!!!!! u might needs them. next, step into
the teletransporter and enter the final showdown area
with the spider waitin 4u. yes, this is 1337, so no
tiny easy monsters, this is for real 1337 peoples. and
be awhere off the illusio-pit(TM)-maze. and i thinks
your 1337 enough to find out teh rest so good
lucks!!!!!!!!!!!!"
MAP18
Level Name : "Down's"
Author : Fatal
Base : ? Part of the level contains a modified version of
Doom II MAP01
Description : "The effects vary from port to port, so you can
consider it as getting an unique experience every time
you switch ports! There shouldn't be any show stoppers.
If you get stuck, try to imagine the mapper has Down's
(note: he hasn't) and build your "strategy" with that
in mind."
MAP19
Level Name : "HELCANYN"
Author : InsanityBringer
Description : "Basically the results of terrible gameplay, and (if
this was made in deu), the results of randomly marking
lines and then turning them into sectors without trying
I wanted to make this in DEU but even for a crappy map
it's too annoying for me to use."
MAP20
Level Name : "AASHITTY: James Hetfield and the Hideous Attack of the
Very Very Very Very Very Very Extremely Nasty
Psycho-Demons from the Alternate Hideous Evil Dimension
Grim Hideous of the Blackened Moon-Forest Grimtrees
(Return of the Sarcophogaic Blood Demons From
Hell-Dimension X), or: Infiltrating of the Demon Blood
Fortress: A Vast Hideous Citadel of Blood and Hideous
Bones, or: Parting Wisdom: Kliff Burton's Final Words
("Not Once Did I Ever See a Dentist"), or: Wandering
the Bloodlust Mazes, Fighting Off the Demons As They
Congregate To Feed Upon Your Screaming Mass in the
Grim Lairs of Darkness, or: Dr. Sleep: How I Learned
to Stop Worrying and Love the Voodoo Dolls, or: The
Archive Maintainer is Not Paid Nearly Enough To Put Up
With People Like Me, AKA: My Sick Desire to Upset the
/idgames Archive Results in Headaches For Ty (I'm Sorry
If I Got Your Name Wrong), and I Apologize For My
Excessive Mannerisms Pertaining to WAD Organization,
or: I Dream of Lars Ulrich Being Thrown Through the Bus
Window Instead of My Mystikal Master Kliff Burton, or:
The Return of the Dimensional Hideous Foes Due to the
Experimentation of the UAC Scientists and Their Hideous
Designs to Destroy Humanity, or: Never Drink What You
Can't Breathe: Chemical Experimentation and Its Role In
Creating A New Breed of Super-Demons, The Hideous Kind
That Shoot Venomous Blood From Their Eyes, Oh God How
It Stings, or: "Lars Ulrich Called My Name, And I Did
Not Like What I Heard", or: How the West Was Won: An
Insider's Look at the Reagan Administration
(1981-1985), or: The Title of This Wad is "AASHITTY:
James Hetfield and the Hideous Attack of the Very Very
Very Very Very Very Extremely Nasty Psycho-Demons from
the Alternate Hideous Evil Dimension Grim Hideous of
the Blackened Moon-Forest Grimtrees (Return of the
Sarcophogaic Blood Demons From Hell-Dimension X), or:
Infiltrating of the Demon Blood Fortress: A Vast
Hideous Citadel of Blood and Hideous Bones, or: Parting
Wisdom: Kliff Burton's Final Words ("Not Once Did I
Ever See a Dentist"), or: Wandering the Bloodlust
Mazes, Fighting Off the Demons As They Congregate To
Feed Upon Your Screaming Mass in the Grim Lairs of
Darkness, or: Dr. Sleep: How I Learned to Stop
Worrying and Love the Voodoo Dolls, or: The Archive
Maintainer is Not Paid Nearly Enough To Put Up With
People Like Me, AKA: My Sick Desire to Upset the
/idgames Archive Results in Headaches For Ty (I'm Sorry
If I Got Your Name Wrong), and I Apologize For My
Excessive Mannerisms Pertaining to WAD Organization,
or: I Dream of Lars Ulrich Being Thrown Through the Bus
Window Instead of My Mystikal Master Kliff Burton, or:
The Return of the Dimensional Hideous Foes Due to the
Experimentation of the UAC Scientists and Their Hideous
Designs to Destroy Humanity, or: Never Drink What You
Can't Breathe: Chemical Experimentation and Its Role In
Creating A New Breed of Super-Demons, The Hideous Kind
That Shoot Venomous Blood From Their Eyes, Oh God How
It Stings, or: "Lars Ulrich Called My Name, And I Did
Not Like What I Heard", or: How the West Was Won: An
Insider's Look at the Reagan Administration
(1981-1985)""
Author : Wills
Music : "Master of Puppets" by Metallica, sequenced to MIDI by
Mark Johnson.
Description : "Created for the Worst Completable Wad Contest. Please
don't take this seriously!
Story:
You're a teenager, one of Earth's angstiest, hardened
in school and trained for nighttime vandalism. Three
years ago you assaulted a teacher for ordering you to
stop listening to Metallica on your Walkman and just
take the test already. He and his finger cast were
shipped nowhere, while you were transferred to the
Union Aerospace Corporation's "Troubled Students
Readjustment Program". The UAC is a multi-planetary
conglomerate with juvenile detention centers on Mars
and its two moons, Phobos and Deimos, and its
"Troubled Students Center" is on Mars - far away from
any unnecessary distractions, like normal life or a
breathable atmosphere. With no action for, like, fifty
million miles, man, your day consisted of suckin' dust
and smoking weed during your "bathroom breaks".
For the last four years the military, UAC's biggest
supplier, has used the remote facilities on Phobos and
Deimos to conduct various secret projects, including
reaserch on inter-dimensional travel. So far they have
been able to open gateways between its research
centers, throwing a few gadgets into one end and
watching them come out in your Troubled Student's
Program's Lab Room. Recently however, the Gateways have
grown dangerously unstable. Troubled student
"volunteers" entering them have either disappeared or
been stricken with a strange form of insanity -
babbling vulgarities, bludgeoning anything that
breathes, and finally suffering an untimely death of
full-body explosion. Matching heads with torsos to send
home to the folks became a full-time job. Latest school
reports state that the research is suffering a small
set-back, but everything is under control.
[make sure to write something here later so this next
part makes sense]
You and your buddies, the only "volunteers" that the
warden saw when he stuck his head out of his door, were
sent pronto to the Lab Room to tell the computer nerds
to quit that racket, not EVERYONE wants to hear
blood-curdling screams and crunches while people are
trying to WORK. You were all ordered to go inside, but
you decided to stick around outside and smoke a few
joints while all your buddies went in. For several
hours, your walkman blasts "Master of Puppets" and
"Ride the Lightning" on repeat, until you realize your
buddies aren't back yet and something's up.
Things aren't looking too good. You'll never find
your way back to your classroom considering how high
you are. Plus, all your weapons, including your shiv,
switchblade, and box cutter, were taken by security at
the front door, leaving you with only a pistol you made
from an aluminum can and firecrackers. If only you
could get your hands around a plasma rifle or even a
shotgun you could take a few of those guards down on
your way out. Anyone that takes your stuff deserves a
couple of pellets in the forehead. Securing your
helmet, you exit the landing pod. Then you wonder why
you were inside a landing pod and shrug off that
feeling. Hopefully you can find more substantial
firepower somewhere within the station.
As you walk through the main entrance to the base,
still wondering why you are walking into a base, you
hear animal-like growls echoing throughout the distant
corridors. You start, like, totally freaking out man,
and you're thinking about running away when BOOM! A
massive apparition appears, shining with a light so
bright it nearly blinds you. "RANDYYYYY" an enormous
voice booms. "RANDYYYY!!!!!"
"I... I'm not Randy!" you say back.
"AVEENNNNGE MEEEE" says the apparition. The light wanes
a little, just enough for you to see, and BEHOLD - IT'S
CLIFF BURTON! THE FORMER BASSIST OF METALLICA WHO WAS
KILLED WHEN METALLICA'S TOUR BUS FLIPPED OVER AND
CLIFF WAS THROWN OUT THE WINDOW! YOU WORSHIPPED THIS
GUY AND WEPT THE DAY YOU HEARD HE DIED, EVEN THOUGH YOU
WEREN'T EVEN A FETUS YET! ONLY CAPITAL LETTERS CAN
DISPLAY THE EXCITEMENT AND AWE YOU FEEL ON BEING
HONORED WITH MR. BURTON'S PRESENCE!
"YOU MUST KILL THESE DEMONS, BRANDON, OR ELSE I WILL
NEVER REST," the voice booms. "EVERY NIGHT, BRAD, I LIE
AWAKE THINKING OF THESE TERRIBLE, HIDEOUS DEMONS AND
HOW AWFUL THEY ARE. THEY HAVE KILLED ALL YOUR FRIENDS
AND CONSTANTLY COME TO MY AFTERWORLD-HOUSE UNINVITED
AND DRINK ALL MY BEER. YOU MUST DESTROY THESE HIDEOUS
DEMONS ONCE AND FOR ALL - FOR ME, RICHARD!"
"Y-yes!" you stammer, nervously at first, then more
confidently. "YES, I will kill the demons for you!"
"VERY WELL, ROCKEFELLER, AND DO NOT FAIL," the
apparition says as he fades away. "SHOULD YOU SUCCEED,
YOU WILL EARN MY UNDYING THANKS, AND MEN SHALL TELL
TALES OF YOUR VICTORY FOR ALL ETERNITY, AND !"
Finally Cliff's ghost disappears. Ignoring the last
part of Cliff's strange cut-off sentence, you find
in yourself a new will to fight - to destroy every one
of the demons inside the base, because they killed your
friends, who owed you money, but also because they
bother CLIFF BURTON OH MAN YOU JUST SPOKE TO HIM THAT
WAS SO AWESOME. You load your gun, put on your Walkman,
and get ready to ROCK HARDD!!! \m/ \m/
xXmEtAlLiCaFoReVeRXx \m/ \m/
MAP21
Level Name : "SUCKMAP"
Author : Gifty
Extras:
"The Room of Doom" by arrrgh (see: roomofdoom.zip)
"The Big Crap Bag" by JustSomeMusicGuy (see: tbcb.zip)
"1994!.gif" An animated tutorial by Travers Dunne
Changes for this Compilation:
* MAP03: The exit needed to be altered because it would not trigger in
non-limit removing ports.
* MAP08: Several untagged sectors made completing this on anything other
than ZDoom derivatives impossible. I also changed how the lift in the
Cacodemon pen works so it's repeatable. Hey, it was my map anyway.
* MAP13: The switch behind the blue door triggered the secret exit, but
apparently there's a whole other wing of the map behind this switch,
but it doesn't appear to be reachable and there are no monsters in it.
I just changed this exit switch to be a normal exit since we have no
secret maps in this lol
* MAP14: The original wad had a ton of unused resources (heh), they have
been removed for the compilation.
===========================================================================
* Copyright / Permissions *
Authors MAY NOT use the contents of this file as a base for
modification or reuse. Permissions have been obtained from original
authors for any of their resources modified or included in this file.
You MAY distribute this file, provided you include this text
file, with no modifications. You may distribute this file in any
electronic format (BBS, Diskette, CD, etc) as long as you include
this file intact. I have received permission from the original
authors of any modified or included content in this file to allow
further distribution.
* Where to get the file that this text file describes *
The Usual:
ftp://archives.gamers.org/pub/idgames/ and mirrors
