Aihuxi.116
net.jokes
utcsrgv!utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!ihnss!ihuxi!cjy
Thu Apr 1 09:37:38 1982
Murphys Law
Murphy's Law and its Constitutive Relationships
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MURPHY'S LAW: If anything can go wrong it will.
PATRICK'S THEOREM: If the experiment works, you must be using
the wrong equipment.
SKINNER'S CONSTANTS: Those numbers which when added, subtracted,
multiplied, or divided, yield the right answer. ( Also known as
Finnegan's Finageling Factors )
HOMER'S FIVE THUMB POSTULATE: Experience varies directly with
the equipment ruined.
FLAGEL'S LAW OF THE PERVERSITY OF INANIMATE OBJECTS: Any
inanimate object, regardless of composition or configuration, may
be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner
for reasons that are entirely obscure or completely impossible.
ALLEN'S MAXIM: When all else fails, read the instructions.
SPARE PARTS PRINCIPLE: The accessibility of small parts which
fall from the work bench varies directly with the size of the
part and inversely with its importance to the experiment.
THE COMPENSATION COROLLARY: The experiment may be considered a
success if no more than 50% of the observed results must be
discarded to obtain a correlation with the theory.
GUMPERSON'S LAW: The probability of a given event happening is
inversely proportional to its desirability.
THE ORDERING PRINCIPLE: The supplies necessary for yesterday's
experiment must be ordered no later than tomorrow noon.
THE ULTIMATE PRINCIPLE: By definition, when you are working with
the unknown, you know not what you will find.
FUTILITY FACTOR: No experiment is ever a complete failure; it
can always serve as a bad example.
Chuck Young at ihuxi!cjy
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Bruce Jones, Henry Spencer, David Wiseman.
