Aihuxn.115
net.jokes
utcsrgv!utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!mhtsa!ihnss!ihuxn!djmolny
Tue Jan 19 10:09:35 1982
81's puns
The following puns were excerpted from the Chicago Tribune, 1/11/82.
-------------------
Tony the Turtle and Sam the From were best friends. When Tony died, Sam
opened a disco in his memory. Up in heaven, Tony was so pleased that he
asked God if he could return to Earth for opening night.
"Sure," said God, "and take your halo and harp with you. But be back by
2 am."
Tony went and had a great time. He returned at the stroke of 2, and God
said, "Well, Tony, I'm glad to see you haven't lost your sense of time.
But did you remember to bring back your halo and harp?"
"Oh God!" exclaimed Tony, "I left my harp in Sam Frog's disco!"
-------------------
A businessman sent his two daughters to UCLA in the hope that they would
find something unusual to study that would stir them out of their apathy.
He was chagrined, however, when they wrote home to tell him that they both
intented to specialize in Egyptian plumbing. He replied immediately,
"Under no circumstances will I support a couple of pharoah faucet majors."
--------------------
One of the hearses owned by a New York funeral director had grown so old that
it wasn't worth much even as a trade-in. After puzzling over how to make
it profitable, the undertaker hit on the idea of offering it for rent to
prostitutes.
Some time later, a friend asked how the plan was working. "Well," said the
undertaker, "it isn't profitable by itself, but at the end of each year
it becomes the best little whore hearse in taxes."
-- DJ Molny
(ihnss!ihuxn!djmolny)
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