To: All (vee-pee) readers
From: b187
Subject: The Lost Issue Of (vee-pee)
Whattup party people? I know that this issue is way late and I apologize for
that. However the issue that was supposed to be out by DEFCON V, got
shitcanned. I hit so many hurdles and obstacles on the way that I really just
trashed it all together. In fact (vee-pee) 3.07 shouldn't exist... But because
I love you all, expect a packet out in a couple of days containing scans of
the whole fucking issue. Sound like an idea? ver3.08 should be out by mid
August, which at the time of writing this is only a week or two away. It
proves to be a bitchin' read. I can't share what exactly it'll be about, but
it's gonna be some funny shit. However, I guess I'll drop my little review of
DEFCON (Everyone's a fucking critic aren't they?).
-b
B187's DEFCON V Review
======================
Friday
Fullerton, CA 3:00 pm
After wating for Arclight to show up at his house, his mom invites me inside.
"Show up at three," he said... "We're gonna be leaving exactly at three."
Fullerton, CA 6:00 pm
After washing Arclight's Bronco, waiting for Vandal, Phax, Queeg, and some
other non-computer geek people, figuring out who would ride in what car and
other stuff, we leave.
Fullerton, CA 6:05 pm
danoZANO, Cal, Arclight and I, rather pissed off about waiting for Queeg,
Vandal and Phax (w/ girlfriend in tow) stop at Ralph's (*plug*) supermarket so
we can wait for the people in the "Queegmobile" to get cash. After waiting
for about 15 minutes, we all leave for Vegas (fucking finally...)
I'll skip most of the details of the road trip... We got to see a wreck that
made Cal ill; Ate at In-N-Out; Stopped at Baker to see the "World's Largest
Thermometer" and get gas; and Queeg making an ass out of himself on the CB.
Saturday
City Of Sin, NV
We arrive in Vegas about 12:30 (thanks to all our stopovers...) and check into
the Motel (In which I never once crashed that weekend...) 1:00 hit when we
got Dinner at Denny's with Angel and Rich. danoZANO carved up my .357 water
pistol into "The (vee-pee) Squirtgun of Annoyance". I ate... I got gas...
After we got some food and I dragged the GTE door into Angel's room, everyone
went their seperate ways. I looked at the free pr0n fliers, scanned the
Alladin for security holes, and walked around Vegas till the buttcrack of
dawn.
I ran into Rich in the lobby and I watched him play some Quarter and Nickel
slots (He blew his fucking money...). After that, I ran into Angel and
grabbed some breakfast at the Aladin bufet. I must say, that buffet had the
world's shittiest food. And talk about greasy... Ugh...
While waiting for the doors to open to the con floor, I got in an argument
about "Why Disney sucks" and almost pulled a Shipley. I can't help it if I
work at Knott's...
Oh, yeah... I ran into LogicBox and Colleen Card in the "net.room" at the
System Failure table. What can I say? I'm simply in love with Colleen...
The only speech I caught happened to be the cDc one... It was phat. I
cheered on AJ as he introduced the cDc. AJ Reznor, you're my hero...
I hung around for a while and talked with a shitload of people. Just so they
don't feel left out, I'll mention them here:
Xor (Thanks for the beer...)
MySTiK
Griffer (Who let me borrow his lineman's handset...)
Wyldman
noid (You look slick in a suit, then again you stick out like a sore thumb...)
Rancid
Drkcactus (No, my IP spoofing technique is too 31i73 for you to learn...)
el_jefe (who tried to kick my ass...)
Vanna Vinyl (Who looks hot... Sorry noid... She does...)
Dark Tangent
Big Brother (Pippy Wrongstocking strikes again...)
Every hacker must have taken a picture of me with the GTE door... Then again
every fed must have too... I got a big applause, and I just carried the door
into the con room... I got free beer and dinner because of that... I gotta
carry GTE doors with me more places, eh?
I witnesed several people making the flier for the stripper party that was at
the gay bar. I passed some of the fliers out and got a good response from
them. I heard that many people ended up going. If you're man enough to admit
you went, then I laugh at your sorry ass...
noid got cold busted, so we had to hang in Shadowvex's room and drink beer. I
had me a Mickey's 40 and watched noid get some henna art from danoZANO. I
played a little Wipeout XL on the Playstation and crashed out on the floor.
Sunday
The next thing I remembered I woke up in a room surrounded by women's
underwear... I was in another room, and I had no recolection of how I og
there. The con was turning out to be fun.
I left before I could find out who my roommate was... Oh well... Maybe
there'll be a little B187 bouncing around the con next year... I hope not.
Anyways, I went back to the con, won a Commie 128, and a 1200 baud modem. I
loaded up all my shit in Arclight's Bronco, and ate brunch with Dark Tangent,
noid, Vanna Vinyl, Cal and a couple of other people.
It was about 5:00 when Arclight, Cal, danoZANO and I left. We talked about
many interesting things such as bondage, t-shirt ideas for (vee-pee), that
picture of se7en I got playing Time Crisis, lubricants, and spanking... All
in all an enriching conversation.
DEFCON V was fun. I didn't spend much time on the con floor, but I made some
invaluable friends, and now I have a mental picture of Colleen to masturbate
to...
-b
B187's DEFCON V Stats
=====================
Hours slept: 4
Beers consumed: 46 (roughly...)
Times I had to *ahem* "think about" Colleen Card: 7
Rooms hung out in: 8
Plates of buffet food consumed: 10
Times I mentioned going to Fatburger: 40 something
Times I actually went to Fatburger: 1
Number of speeches heard: 1
Hours spent at the System Failure/PLA table: 27
Times showered: 2 (That explains the funny smell doesn't it?)
Times I plugged (vee-pee): 487 (rough estimate)
