Vicious Propaganda Presents:
Vee Pee ver3.04
B187 Decides What He's Doing...
By - B187
Finaly... Some direction for VP. That's right, VP with direction. No issue
shall have more than a couple rants by me and whoever submits anything
else. I almost scrapped this little ditty altogether. But there was a ray
of hope that shone it's light down on me: Senorita B187. That's right, the
missus took a look at a couple of the old issues and said, "You write all
that stuff? I'm suprised you haven't run out of ideas yet... You'd last
longer if you paced yourself." So pacing myself I am... net.VP should
soon be up on Geoshitty (Hey, it's free. Who can complain?). net.VP will
hopefully mix all the content of VP along with a little side rant updated
by me bi-weekly. Screw montly deadlines. I never followed them before. I
won't save the rants, once they're updated... they're updated. Although
I've gotten many requests, I'm saying "fuck frames". Never liked them.
BTW - Look for VP ASCII; designed by the 0-day ASCII programmer himself...
B187. Anyways, on with the show and shit.
--VP--
B3ing 31i73 as fuq in 10 34sy s73pz
By - j00_b0y
[This article will appear in "31i73: The Magazine". Special thanks to
j00_b0y for permission on using this article. -B187]
1. Bug your mom for Rollerbladez(tm). You really don't need to know how to
use them, but it does help when you're running from the fedz.
2. Get the following videos from your local Blockbuster: Hackers (good
movie... techiclally accurate too.), The Net (shows you how to hack using
the Pi technique), and Pr0ncows Volume One (That one's behind the counter.
Ask for it by name.).
3. After you watch "Hackers" rewind the tape, and go back to the part where
they make that l33t as fuq red box. Make your own red box. Be prepared to
swallow the tape if the fedz catch you...
4. Get an account on AoL. All the `leet people are on AoL in the "HACK" and
"PHREAK" rooms. Watch out tho... The room password is "Anyone know the
passowrd to SkItZo?" If you don't say that, then you must seize control of
your account to BaKa immediatly. If he's not online, mail him your
password and user name. He'll think you're so `leet for doing that....
5. Once you've phished enough passwords and kardz form AoL, it's time to
put those kardz to use. Order yourself a clear laptop, an ISDN connection,
and a microsoft development team to make you a bad ass boot up screen.
6. Kardz can also be traded for WaReZ... WaReZ r00l!!!! `Nuff said.
7. Soon the fedz will be tapping your lines and digging thru your trashcan.
Don't worry, they won't use any of that stuff in court. Talk freely about
all your computer fraud. How will anyone know how to phear your skillz?
8. When the fedz burst thru your door, play off like you know nothing even
though you have tons of telco stuff in your room. Look for that token fed
who is really jumpy and go, "Whatever you do, don't open that drawer... or
else...." and grin really big. Don't be suprised if the bomb squad soon
appears.
9. After the trial, be sure not to drop any soap in prison. Also, make sure
that the court phears you so much that you will not be let near a phone.
Once you get out of jail, make t-shirts about your escapades and sell them.
10. This is a simple step, because it requires no other steps... Put
simply: Start an e-mag.
--VP--
Custom Car Mods `97
by danoZANO!
-this file dedicated to all the k-wrad wrollerblading sycho mac daddies in-
-the world who have automobiles with 6 or more mismatched colors of paint.-
-send your modifications, suggestions, and experiences to
[email protected]
COFFEEMAKER/HEAT EXCHANGER
Simple yet convenient.. depending on the size of your car's radiator,
you can make up to 3 gallons of coffee on the way to work or play by pulling
a dashboard switch. This easy mod requires you to install a hose leading
from your radiator's drain valve to an inline coffee filter and on to a
spigot over a carafe in the car. Flush the radiator thoroughly before
using it; antifreeze in your coffee will make a poison green drink instead
of a tasty brown one and you probably wouldn't enjoy it half as much as
you'd like to.
Don't drink more than a gallon of coffee from your radiator while the
engine is running. This will severely diminish the cooling ability of your
car and increase the chances of head warpage, especially in cars with
aluminum engine blocks. Plus, with today's hotter-running engines, the
dregs really taste foul if the engine overheats.
LAPTOP EJECT CARRIAGE
Another simple mod, this device ensures that your laptop's data will
not be recovered by MIBs or UFOs chasing your car. Just fabricate a clamp
that holds your laptop on the bottom and sides, and allows it to slip in
and out from the top edge freely. The clamp should have a strong spring
and a locking mechanism to hold the computer in the 'work' position. When
the lock is tripped, the spring should snap to the right and send the
laptop on its merry way, right out the window.
I made mine in a welding class using 12 feet of 1" stainless steel L
stock, and the spring came from a garage door. Other components included a
ratcheting winch to set the spring, and a quick-release cotter pin assembly
which secures the carriage in 'cocked' position with the laptop in front of
you. Simply pull the pin, and Mr. Chips is soaring through the air, pinning
like a frisbee! I've personally watched many laptops fly as far as 600 feet
if there's nothing in the way, but I've noticed that the laptop won't fly as
far if the screen is out. For a set of my detailed instructions, send $5 to
PO 5083, Anaheim, CA 92814-1083. Otherwise, just wing it -- I designed mine
with help from a device used to throw clay pigeons, then engineered the
components to suit the size of the computer.
Future plans will include a magnetic-mount model and a design that bolts
to the outside of the car to allow for a longer throwing distance.
Aerodynamic laptops have a much better pange, so choose wisely to maximize
flight distance.
CIG LIGHTER DEGAUSSER
One of the simplest mods in this article and also one of the most
useful, the cig lighter degaussing coil will come in handy during any
situation in which you need to fry a few megs of potentially dangerous
magnetic media. A few thousand wraps of motor wire around a 4" diameter
oblong iron wire loop will solder nicely to the contacts on a spare
cigarette lighter, to make a degaussing coil, and you can burn those
incriminating floppies with the lighter end if the degausser fails!
Drill a hole on the lighter's handle to install a toggle switch: wire
one position to operate the cigarette lighter, and the other position for
the degaussing circuit. Keep the engine running if you have more than 350
disks that need immediate attention, so the battery won't lose its charge.
HEADS-UP DISPLAY
Borrowing technology from recent auto dash heads-up display systems
allows you to build a device which reflects the output from your retrofitted
road-laptop's VGA card to the front-and-center of a half-silvered panel on
your windshield. What a potential timesaver this is -- no need to look down
at your laptop on the seat next to you to view whatever you might happen to
be doing as you drive down the freeway.
If a police officer can see your heads-up speedometer display as he
paces you, he can ticket you for the speed it showed when he saw it -- this
also holds true for the monitor display you will build, and i warn you
especially to be careful when entering passwords or using encryption
software. Nothing's more embarrassing than the guy in the next car seeing
your password while you drive just because you're careless about protecting
the screen from view.
I also recommend against playing DOOM on your windsheld monitor, since
it's a bit too hard to defend yourself from oncoming Saabs in nightmare
mode. But as soon as I get the guns bolted on behind my grill, I'm gonna
play a network game on the freeway....
And don't even _try_ to put up your nudie jpg screensaver, no matter HOW
many times you've seen that pic of Claudia Schiffer. I don't want to be
next to you when you swerve out of your lane into oncoming traffic.
CAR-MOUNTED DISKETTE HOLDER
Another fine idea -- this will end the frustration of floppies sliding
across the seat and into the crack in the bottom of the door, only to leap
into the wet stinky gutter when someone opens the passenger door. I used a
commercial disk box and secured the largest surplus-grade magnet I could
afford to the bottom with iron wire, and my disks never stray farther than
I can reach. Now, as soon as I can afford a new laptop (after field-testing
the ejector), I'll see how many of my disks still have anything on them.
I'm not sure why yet, but the files seem to be disappearing as fast as I
can re-copy them...must be that Good Times virus I keep reading about.
In closing, be aware of all local city, state, and federal ordinances
regarding propulsion methods for laptop computing devices, and keep a fresh
pot of cafe radiatore on hand in case you see me on the road. I'll probably
be field-testing Volume II of this article, so be forewarned -- you never
know when you're in a high-gauss magnetic field until it's too late for
your car microprocessor, disks, computer, digital watch, and pager to be
saved from the menacing devices in store for you next time.
-danozano
--VP--
r0y.irc - an annoying IRCii script by B187
By - B187
[r0y.irc is a remodified version of SlAcK.act which in a way is just a rip
off of every clever irc script before it. Let's hear it for third hand
scripts!!!!! -B187]
---Begin r0y.irc---
/echo r0y.irc, a cheap ripoff of [SlAcK.aCt]
assign ex [r0y]
assign pk [ph34r th3 PLA!]
alias beat {me beats the living fuck outta $0}
alias point {me points at $0}
alias spit {me spits on $0}
alias nuts {me kicks $0 in the testies}
alias nod {me nods in agreement}
alias hate {me HATES $0 with a passion}
alias blow {me blows $0's fuckin head off with his Glock}
alias slap {me pimp slaps $0}
alias punch {me punches $0 in the fucking ribs}
alias beer {me slams a beer}
alias keg {me jumps up, and does a 45 second kegstand;wait;say BURP!!!}
alias flip {me flips $0 the middle finger;wait;say FUCK YOU $0!!!!}
alias dumb {me thinks $0 is a dumbass}
alias tired {me is tired}
alias hmm say hmmmmmmmmmm...
alias clap me applauds
alias evilgrin {me grins evilly}
alias wiz me has to take a piss. Be right back.
alias cactus me beans $0 with a cactus.
alias enema {
me looks at $0 and decides he could use an enema.
me rummages through his garage and finds a chainsaw.
me pulls the cord and jams it up $0's ass.
eval kick $C $0 *BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!*
}
alias porno {
say dazen shows $0 a broomstick and some KY.
say Suddenly some cheap 70's porno film music comes on.
say $0 decides he'd prefer not to take chances and runs like fuck.
eval kick $C $0 Don't let the door hit ya on the way out!
}
alias rambo {
@old_nick=[$N]
nick Rambo
WAIT
me sees that $0 is a real fucking faggot
say I hate faggots
me pulls up in his M-1 tank and $0 starts running like a fuck
me fires his 150mm tank round up his flapping faggoty asshole
EVAL kick $C $0
WAIT
me leaps out of his tank and lights up a Marlboro
EVAL msg $0 Nuff Said!
nick $old_nick
}
alias wolv {
@old_nick=[$N]
nick Wolverine
WAIT
me stumbles into $C after going on one of his drinking binges.
me pops his adamantium claws and accidentally trips slashing $0 in half.
me looks at $0's bloody corpse.
say Too bad you don't have a healing factor huh, bub?
EVAL kick $C $0
WAIT
me orders another beer!
EVAL msg $0 I'm the best at what I do. Don't mess with me, bub!
nick $old_nick
}
alias lamer {
me *** LAMER PROTECTION ENGAGED ***
me Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeeeep!
me Lamer spotted!! Lowering targets on the lamer!
EVAL msg $0 Tag, your it!
EVAL kick $C $0 $pk
}
alias behead {
me puts on his black hood.
me escorts $0 to the guillotine.
say Any final requests before the blade drops?
say No ? Good!
/kick $C $0 $pk
say -CHOP!-
}
alias nirvana {
me suggests that $0 do his Kurt Cobain impression.
me watches as $0 props a shotgun to his mouth and blows his brains out.
me waits for three days before an electrician finds $0 and throws him out.
/kick $C $0
That's not teen spirit you smell...
}
alias suckoff {
me looks over and sees $0 desperately trying to bend far enough to suck himself off.
me wonders why no one else has kicked him for such pathetic behavior.
me notices that no one else is paying attention to him.
/kick $C $0 Try #jack-off!
}
alias god {
@old_nick=[$N]
nick I_am_g0d
WAIT
me steps out of the shadows and places his hand on $0.
say Alas for you my poor child, there can be no redemption.
me sucks the life out of $0 as they fall into a lifeless heap.
mode $C +b $0
EVAL kick $C $0
WAIT
me steps back into the shadows.
EVAL msg $0 Don't fuck with God!
nick $old_nick
}
ALIAS HYPER {
@old_nick=[$N]
me grabs $0 and starts to pour can's of Jolt down his throat.
me watches as $0 starts to quiver.
say And We Have Lift Off
eval kick $C $0 Go calm down!!!
}
alias fart {
me lets out a long rip roaring fart.
say blurp...thip thip thip...blurp
say ahhhhhhhhhh....much better...
say Run for your lifes!!! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
}
alias jolt me slams a Jolt.
alias acthelp {
echo . Action Help
echo . =====================
echo . /actions - For General Actions
echo . /khelp - For General Kicks
echo . /m8help - For Mystical Orb
echo .
}
alias actions {
echo Actions you can use...
echo ======================
echo beat, point, spit, nuts, nod, hate, blow, slap, punch, beer, keg,
echo flip, dumb, tired, hmm, clap, evilgrin, wiz, cactus, fart, jolt,
echo pr0ncow
}
alias khelp {
echo Misc. Kicks
echo ===========
echo enema, porno, rambo, wolv, lamer, behead, nirvana, suckoff, god, hyper
}
alias pr0ncow {
/msg $0
/msg $0 (___)
/msg $0 (o o) <===== $1
/msg $0 /------\\ / (__)
/msg $0 / ____O (oo) <===== $2
/msg $0 | / /----\\----\\/
/msg $0 /\\oo===| / ||
/msg $0 | || *||^-----||
/msg $0 * ^^ ^^ ^^
}
assign rv E-=R=-
^assign m8resp[1] AS I SEE IT YES
^assign m8resp[2] ASK AGAIN LATER
^assign m8resp[3] BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW
^assign m8resp[4] CANNOT PREDICT NOW
^assign m8resp[5] CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN
^assign m8resp[6] DON'T COUNT ON IT
^assign m8resp[7] IT IS CERTAIN
^assign m8resp[8] IT IS DECIDEDLY SO
^assign m8resp[9] MOST LIKELY
^assign m8resp[10] MY REPLY IS NO
^assign m8resp[11] MY SOURCES SAY NO
^assign m8resp[12] OUTLOOK GOOD
^assign m8resp[13] OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD
^assign m8resp[14] REPLY HAZY TRY AGAIN
^assign m8resp[15] SIGNS POINT TO YES
^assign m8resp[16] VERY DOUBTFUL
^assign m8resp[17] WITHOUT A DOUBT
^assign m8resp[18] YES
^assign m8resp[19] YES DEFINATELY
^assign m8resp[20] YOU MAY RELY ON IT
^assign m8resp[21] YEAH, SURE, WHY NOT?
^assign m8ans_num 21
alias m8desc1
{
/say r0y slowly rotates the cactus of many answers...;
/say r0y gently strokes the cactus, like dazen on a cat...;
/say r0y stops the cactus' rotation and peers into it's depths...;
/say r0y looks up, and utters the words:;
}
alias m8desc2
{
/say r0y reaches into the nether void...;
/say r0y withdraws his hand, which now grasps the cactus.;
/say r0y considers the cactus...;
/say r0y looks startled... and gulps...;
/say r0y utters a spell of protection... and says:;
}
alias m8desc3
{
/say r0y extends his hand and mumbles an incantation...;
/say r0y stares at you as the cactus forms in his palm.;
/say r0y appears visibly shaken as he studies it for a couple of seconds...;
/say r0y lifts his head and breathlessly states:;
}
alias m8desc4
{
/say r0y waves his staff in the air... leaving a dark mist in it's wake.;
/say r0y cackles evilly as you watch the mist congeal into the legendary cactus.;
/say r0y considers the cactus of telling as it hovers in the air... and states:;
}
alias m8desc5
{
/say r0y claps his hands together...;
/say r0y grins as the cactus appears, spinning in the air before you.;
/say r0y grabs the cactus from the air & peers into it's depths...;
/say Listen carefully, to the words of the r0y:;
}
alias m8desc6
{
/say r0y extends his arm before you, and closes his hand around empty air...;
/say r0y slowly opens his fist... you see the cactus of telling grow in his palm;
/say r0y considers the cactus for a time... you squirm in your seat.;
/say r0y lifts his head, meets your eyes, and says:;
}
alias m8desc7
{
/say r0y shows you his empty hands and frowns.;
/say hmmmmmmmm... 'syzygy'... ahhhhhh....;
/say r0y chuckles evilly... you glance down and see the cactus in his hand.;
/say r0y glances and the cactus... blinks... and stares at you;
/say Beware!! The answer may not be what ye seek, but 'tis truth:;
}
alias m8desc8
{
/say r0y ponders the if dazen is really a queer...;
/say r0y runs his fingers through the scraggly growth on his chin...;
/say r0y raises the cactus of telling in his gnarled hand...;
/say r0y considers the cactus... for quite some time...;
/say Ahhh.... the orb of r0y speaks:;
}
alias m8desc9
{
/say r0y appears enlightened;
/say r0y picks up the cactus, and considers it...;
/say r0y clears his throat, and states:;
}
alias m8desc10
{
/say r0y utters a dwarven curse... "GO AWAY PLA!!!";
/say r0y morphs into a nude Colleen Card!
/say A cactus is in her hands.;
/say She chuckles... you look at the cactus, and see:;
}
^assign m8read_num 10
alias M8SHOW
{
/me reaches into his cloak.... and withdraws a midget...;
/me holds the midget before you... He introduces himself as r0y;
/say r0y shows you the cactus of telling!;
/say r0y whispers, "Behold the cactus of telling" You cover your eyes in Ph34r.;
/say r0y stares at you with one beady eye and chuckles evilly...;
/say The cactus will answer aye/nay questions...;
/say ask a question... and ph34r it's power!!!; }
alias cactus
{
^assign m8read $rand($m8read_num)
@ m8read = m8read + 1
^assign m8ans $rand($m8ans_num)
@ m8ans = m8ans + 1
/m8desc$m8read
/say $m8resp[$m8ans]
}
alias M8HELP {
/echo r0y ver1.0b: Designed for the PLA by B187
/echo =========================================
/echo /cactus "show" the cactus of telling
/echo /r0y answer a question
/echo
}
#================================done
^eval echo $ex r0y.irc loading complete...
^eval echo $ex You're on your own shithead...
---End r0y.irc---
--VP--
Why Chicks Have Perfect Bellybuttons
By - B187
Before I start, I have to point out the fact that Guitar Center has a sale
practically every other week... And they play it off like it's always a
rare thing to find a Guitar Center sale...
Now, I dunno if any of you other geeks out there have noticed, but women
have perfect bellybuttons... People worship Gwen Stefani's bellybutton for
christ's sakes. OC weekly called it the "center of the OC music scene". No
girl has an ugly bellybutton (except for those really fat chyx). Have you
ever been appauled by a nice looking girl wearing a "gut shirt" because she
had an ugly reminder of her umbilical cord? No. I duuno if you guys know
this, but girls really dig it when you toy with their bellybutton. No shit.
I know some of you socially inept bastards don't know what I'm talking
about, but the guys that have explored every inch of their grrl's body, they
know what's a turn on. The past couple girlfriends that I've had loved it
when I toyed with their bellybuttons. In fact Mrs. B187 enjoys it when I
kiss her there. Like you care about my social life tho. Gut shirts were
made for chyx. I've even seen some chyx out there that have a little pooch
wearing gut shirts and I've just been transfixed by their bellybuttons.
Call me weird, but I find that sort of shit cool... Whatever.
--VP--
HaX0ring C411s ph0r phr33
By - Mystik
So how many of you out there have wanted to at one time or another wanteed to make fone calls from a pay fone but just didn't know how? Well this article will help teach you how.
FIRST and most improtant, all information contained in this article is for informational use only. I the writer nor any one at VP are responsible for any use or misuse of the information. Now there are a couple of things you are gonna need to get. One of the most improtant things is a number to call. I mean that is the purpose of this article now isn't it? One thing about the number it must be local. To call long distance is another matter all together that we might go over in another issue. Second and this one is important. You are gonna need 2 dimes. A quarter would work but it is more expensive. Now with those two things you are almost ready to begin. What you now need is a suitible pay fone to call from. It dosen't matter what brand it is just make sure you HEAR a dial tone. If you don't hear a dial tone when you pick up the fone it means the fone is tapped by the government. If this is the case hang up the fone and walk away quickly. Find another fone and call from there. If you pick up the fone and hear a dial tone what you need to do is first deposit one of the dimes. There will be a little slot up in the right hand corner. Put the dime in there. Now you can put the second dime in. Now you need to try real hard to remember that number you picked out. Go ahead and punch in the numbers. Ok now you can punch in the numbers on the keypad. - The thing with the numbers on it. - Punch them in carefully. Making sure to get the number correct. If you have done it all properly your call should go through. There now you have the knowledge to make a fone call from a payfone. Just remember that this was for informational purpose only.
[EOF]
