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Stuck In Traffic
"Current Events, Cultural Phenomena, True Stories"
Issue #19 - October, 1996
Contents:
Voting Is Not Enough:
As the November elections draw near, citizens are constantly urged
to "get out and vote" as if that were their only function in
America's democratic process. But voting is actually the least
important part of politics. What should the average American do
if he or she really wants to make a difference?
Why We Need The Macarena:
An analysis of all the factors that contribute to The Macarena's
success. How does one take a simple pop song and turn it into a
global dance craze?
Pigs In A Blanket:
Social critics have to tread lightly when offering criticism.
Sometimes the world just isn't ready for our insights.
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Current Events
Voting Is Not Enough
As the November 5th elections draw near, you will be inundated by
countless people and organizations with pleas for you to "get out
and vote" on election day. You'll hear it from newspaper
journalists. You'll hear it from newscasters. You'll hear it
from the League of Women Voters. You'll hear it from MTV. You'll
hear it from preachers. And of course you'll hear it from the
candidates themselves. They will tell you that voting is both a
right and a duty in this great democracy of ours. They will tell
you that this is the most important part of politics and will tell
you to be proud of yourself for voting.
I'll add my voice to the movement. I encourage everyone to vote.
Any participation in politics is better than none at all.
But voting for candidates is the tiniest, least important part of
politics. Politics is far more than voting. Politics is far more
than even government. Voting is nothing more than a "rubber
stamp" of approval on a menu of choices and decisions that other
people have already made for you. If the political process
delivers a menu of nothing but bad choices for you to choose from,
voting doesn't matter much.
As Plato put it:
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is
that you end up being governed by your inferiors."
Judging by the choices we are offered in this year's elections,
many would agree that we are paying the penalty for not
participating enough in the political process. And we should not
delude ourselves into thinking otherwise just because we have
"done our duty" by voting.
How can common people, people who are not professional
politicians, participate in politics in such a way that they can
make real difference?
First, we can set the agenda that politicians must respond to. We
can do this by never passing up an opportunity to speak up about
the issues. For some reason in the United States, it has become
unseemly, or at least unfashionable, to discuss political issue in
casual conversation with our friends and neighbors. This has to
change fast.
Today, there are many ways for us to voice our opinions beyond our
family and friends, if we would just use them. We can join single
interest issue groups. Although lobbying organizations have a bad
reputation these days, there is nothing inherently wrong with the
concept of people rallying around an organization devoted to a
single issue. There are also many opportunities to speak for
ourselves as individuals. Call-in talk shows, letters to the
editor of your local newspaper and magazines, and "viewer
commentaries" on TV news casts are perfect vehicles for not only
commenting on the current issues being discussed but also for
raising issues that no one is yet talking about. And as talk show
hosts and newspaper editors will be quick to tell you, they hear
from the same few people over and over again. Make sure one of
the people the politicians hear is you!
Speaking out in public forums like newspapers and talk radio is
effective because it reaches out to everyone in the audience. And
although elected officials follow these forums with great
devotion, nothing beats contacting your representatives directly.
Call them on the phone, write them a letter, send them a fax, send
them e-mail. If you don't know how to contact your
representatives. Find out. If you don't know who your
representatives are, you better find out quick because they are
making decisions that affect you right now.
In addition to speaking up for ourselves, we need to encourage
diversity in the marketplace of ideas. We need to become more
vigilant about attempts to restrict public discussion and
political participation. The most visible example of this problem
this year has been the Presidential debates, in which only two
candidates were allowed on the debates despite the fact that there
are no less than 6 candidates for President. And the problem is
much deeper than the debates. Obstacles like ballot access laws,
voter registration laws, campaign finance laws routinely block
people from participating in the electoral process of the country.
The next level of participation in politics, is to become a part
of the government yourself. Most people think of holding office
as a full time career. But political office can and should be a
part time job, especially at the local level. Think small. Most
towns have many different citizen review boards set up to make
sure the general population has input into local government
decisions. Usually these are appointed positions and all you have
to do is express an interest to your local representative to get
appointed.
Once in a position of this sort, you not only have a voice on the
board's specific issue, you have an opportunity to speak out on a
wide variety of issues because you will have much more direct
access to the elected officials. And you establish credibility
with the people in your town which will be a big help if you
should ever decide to run for an elected office.
But the most important part of politics has nothing to do with
government at all. Politics is much bigger than government. And
the dirty little secret that politicians would rather not admit to
is that they are followers, not leaders. They can pass all the
laws they want to address a problem, but none will be effective
unless there are people willing to actually do the work.
It is far better to volunteer time and money to your local food
bank than it is to vote for a politician that promises "welfare
reform." It is far better to "adopt" an immigrant family and
teach them English and how things work in the U.S. than it is to
vote for a politician that promises to "do something" about
"illegal" immigrants. It is far better to start a neighborhood
watch and teach yourself how to responsibly and safely handle a
gun than it is to vote for a politician that promises to "get
tough on crime." Selling cookies at a school's annual bake sale
or volunteering a day of your time as a teacher assistant is much
more effective way of helping a school than voting for a
politician that promises to "improve education."
Casting a vote is no substitute for actually working on a problem
ourselves.
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Cultural Phenomena
Why We Need The Macarena
It originated in Venezuela, 1993. It spread like wildfire through
Spain. It has infiltrated most Spanish speaking countries in the
world. In 1995, it hit the shores of the United States. You can
find it in night clubs, retirement homes, high school gyms, and
federal prisons. It is discussed on MTV and talk shows. It
supports no less than three parasitical parodies. It is still
growing. Women in Spanish speaking countries are naming their
daughters after it.
It is called "The Macarena".
The Macarena is both a pop song and a dance craze. The song, at
least the most popular versions of the song, is a simple
straight-forward pop tune. It has a steady 4/4 beat suitable for
dancing and a couple of verses followed by a minor key bridge
which leads into the Big Finish. It has a vaguely Latin feel to
it, officially categorized by the Powers That Be as
"Pop-Flamenco." But mostly it's got that Universal Dance Hall
style. It's about 3 1/2 minutes long, more or less the perfect
length for a commercial pop song.
A typical verse from the Spanish lyrics of the original version of
the song:
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Ehhhhhh, Macarena!
Macarena tiene un novio que se llama
Que se llama de apellido Vitorino
Y en la jura da bandera del muchacho
Se la dio con dos amigos
Macarena, Macarena, Macarena
Que le gusta los veranos de Marbella
Macarena, Macarena, Macarena
Que le gusta la movida guerrilera
Macarena suena con el Corte Ingles
Y se compra los modelos mas modernos
Le gustaria vivir in Nueva York
Y ligar un novio nuevo
which, translated into English, means:
Give your body pleasure Macarena
Because your body is for giving it pleasure
and good things
Give your body pleasure Macarena
Ehhhhhhh, Macarena
Macarena has a boyfriend whose name is
Whose name is Vitorino
And during his military swearing in
She got together with two of his friends.
Macarena, Macarena, Macarena,
Who likes the summers of Marbella
Macarena, Macarena, Macarena,
Who likes the guerilla lifestyle
Macarena dreams of the Cortes Ingles
(a high class dept. store)
And she likes the most recent fashions
She'd like to live in New York
And trap a new boyfriend.
It loses a little bit in the translation. One wonders what is
meant by "the guerilla lifestyle," especially considering her
estranged boyfriend is in the military. But obviously there's a
corrupting dynamic at work in the relationship.
The Americanized, "Bay Side Boys Mix" of the song has different,
and much less clever, lyrics but a similar sentiment.
Both versions of the song are about a beautiful women who is so
full of life and life's pleasures that she can't help herself from
dancing up a storm. There are hints that it's vaguely sinful to
get this much pleasure out of dancing. It's about a woman who
lives life too large for one man. It's about a women who attracts
men like moths to a flame. And yet no one can find it in their
heart to hold it against her. It's an ancient, ancient archetype
under a new name.
Madonna better watch out.
Safe, unoffensive lyrics with just a hint of lust. An ancient
archetype. The perfect Commercial format. All the necessary
elements to turn this song into a Movement were there. All it
needed was a little push. Well, a big push actually.
The official public relations version of The Macarena's history
goes like this: Several years ago, Antonio Romero, one of the
members of Los Del Rio, was staying in Caracas, Venezuela. One
night he was so inspired by watching an enthusiastic Flamenco
dancer by the name of Diana Patricia that he rapped out an
impromptu verse while she danced. This verse later became the
basis for the Macarena song. Los Del Rio have been in the Spanish
music scene since the 60's, publishing over 300 songs, mostly in
the FlamencoPop genre. And when Los Del Rio published the song in
1993 through a regional Spanish record label, they had their first
smash hit.
But how did the Macarena make it from a regionally popular song to
a world wide craze? Enter into the picture Bertelsmann A.G., a
major global publishing company which operates in nearly every
industrial country in the world. In the U.S. They own media
heavy weights like Bantam/DoubleDay/Dell publishers, and RCA,
Arista, and many other record labels. They also have TV and film
production operations and are the European partners with America
Online.
Bertelsmann's mission is "to provide entertainment to the world
and to be a home for creativity." In 1994, BMG Entertainment's
(as they are known in the US) Latin Division bought the record
company that owned the rights to The Macarena and began putting
the full force of their publishing and entertainment muscle behind
it, promoting the song worldwide. BMG targeted dance clubs with
video screens and dance instructors so that club attendees could
both see The Macarena dance in action and learn it from the club's
instructors. They introduced The Macarena into Mexico, Columbia,
Chile, Brazil, Argentina, and several select American cities. To
account for cross cultural differences in various markets, Los Del
Rio have recorded no less than 6 versions of the song. This year,
the Macarena had developed a strong enough following that Los Del
Rio toured the United States promoting the "Bayside Boys Mix"
version of the song, which culminated into breaking through into
MTV's playlist.
But even a major global publishing company like BMG can't push a
song like The Macarena (and therefore can't sell records) unless
it fills a need or a hole in the marketplace. And that, I
believe, is where The Macarena Dance fits into the picture.
The dance itself is so simple anyone who can count to 16 can do
it. (See below.) It is particularly susceptible to
deconstruction. The dance steps become absurd when you write them
down. But at just the right point in the dance, you get to do a
little of that "shake your money maker" thing, thus ensuring its
popularity.
The two guys that make up Los Del Rio are pushing 50. And if you
have ever seen them, you know that they aren't exactly athletic
superstars. No backflips or flying leaps will be seen from these
guys any time soon. So if these guys can do The Macarena anyone
can. This is very important. When a song can be danced to by
retirees and Dance Divas alike, you've got a huge potential market
on your hands.
Every culture on the planet dances. And until recently, dancing
has always been a formalized ritual. There have always been
"steps" to it. Whether you're talking about ballroom waltzes,
Indian belly dances, the Achey-Brakey, or Contra line dances,
dancing has always been a formal, ritualized means of physical
expression. It's only since the dawn of Rock music and all its
descendent genres that dancing has gone to totally free-form
movement.
But let's face it. The vast majority of us aren't comfortable
enough with our bodies and how they move to improvise on a crowded
dance floor. We feel like bumbling idiots in these situations.
People need ritualized dance steps to relieve us of this burden
and make dancing fun again. The Macarena Dance fills this need
for millions of people worldwide.
The fundamental ingredient that makes The Macarena such a
successful craze is that people see these two middle aged
anti-superstars with obviously unspectacular physiques having fun
doing a simple dance with style and grace and dignity and they
think to themselves, "Hey, I could do that, and it looks like
fun." And they do. And it is. And they buy records. And they
are happy. And Los Del Rio are happy. And BMG's worldwide
marketing campaign is a huge success. And the universal cultural
phenomena of dancing is continued.
The Macarena Dance
Beat 1: R arm in front of you, palm down
Beat 2: L arm in front of you, palm down
Beat 3: Turn R palm up
Beat 4: Turn L palm up
Beat 5: R hand grasps inside of L elbow
Beat 6: L hand grasps inside of R elbow
Beat 7: R hand behind back of neck
Beat 8: L hand behind back of neck
Beat 9: R hand on L front pants pocket
Beat 10: L hand on R front pants pocket
Beat 11: R hand on R back pants pocket
Beat 12: L hand on L back pants pocket
Beat 13: Move your butt to the Left
Beat 14: Move your butt to the Right
Beat 15: Move your butt to the Left
Beat 16: Clap and turn 90 degrees to the right. Jumping on this
step is optional. Repeat the same 16 beats 4 times.
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Current Events
Lack of Advertising
Sometimes the biggest stories in the newspaper aren't the most
interesting ones. Sometimes all it takes is a couple of sentences
to convey worlds of information.
Take for example the following newswire story published in the
Raleigh News and Observer:
Port Washington - Sixteen year old Jacob Kallas was
arrested, cuffed, and jailed overnight because he didn't
have the paperwork for his shots.
Jacob's mother, Janet Kallas, admits she ignored two
court orders to provide her son's new school with proof
of immunizations, which he did receive.
"I didn't realize we live in such a police state," she
said.
Seems that someone down at the Ad Council isn't doing their job
very well.
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True Story
Pigs In A Blanket
As a part-time social critic, it is my duty to always be on the
lookout for incongruities in the social fabric of our culture.
It's my job to ferret out inconsistency and expose it to the light
of day for all to see. Not as a muckraker, but as someone truly
interested in seeing the improvement of American pop culture. I
offer insights and hopefully constructive criticism in kindest
spirit, with nothing but society's best interests, with the
sincere hopes that others will take my observations and put them
to good use.
But sometimes people just aren't ready to hear criticism.
Sometimes they just aren't ready for change. Sometimes even the
sincerest criticism is not appreciated. For example, 1:00 in the
morning, sitting in an International House of Pancakes, is not
exactly the best time to strike up a conversation with a waitress
about linguistic mistakes on the menu.
As is so often the case with me, I had to learn this the hard way.
Every now and then I get a carbohydrate craving that can only be
satisfied with a stack of pancakes and maybe a side order of
hash-browns. And when it hits, there's nothing else to do but
head out to the local IHOP and feast. Thank goodness they are
open 24 hours a day. So a few weeks ago, I found myself sitting
in the IHOP in the middle of the night studying the menu. My main
task of course was to try to find a way to maximize the number of
pancakes I could get for my money. I was experimenting with
various combinations of side orders and specials of the day and
all-night breakfast deals. But on a subconscious level, the
social critic in my head was also studying the menu. Noticing how
it was laid out, how the descriptions of each item were
instructive as well as appealing. Well, it's just what we social
critics do. We can't stop doing it.
One of the things I noticed about the IHOP menu, to its credit, is
that the pictures on it are tasteful and inviting. This is in
sharp contrast to the Waffle House menu which apparently assumes
that a large percentage of its customers can't read. The Waffle
House menu has big pictures of everything they offer plainly drawn
out, like a diagram in a dictionary or a technical manual. The
obvious intent was to give people an opportunity to point to what
they want. But the IHOP menu pictures are more aesthetic, in an
attempt to give you the impression of a warm, cozy restaurant.
My eye wandered across an item on the menu called "Pigs in a
blanket," which was described as a dish of four link sausages
wrapped in a warm, buttermilk pancake. Now like I said, my
primary goal was maximize my pancake intake. So at first this
didn't seem to be such a good deal for my purposes. While the
sausage sounded OK, one pancake simply wasn't going to do. But
then I got to wondering, "how can they wrap four sausages in one
pancake?" Like I said, it was 1:00 a.m. and I wasn't thinking
quite as sharply as I usually do. Of course they couldn't wrap
four sausages in a single pancake. They probably meant that each
sausage was wrapped individually in its own, personalized,
blanket.
So the main faculties of my mind were satisfied and moved on to
the rest of the menu. But at this point the social critic in me
woke up and said, "heyyyy, wait a minute. How could this menu
have been reworded so that there would be no confusion about what
exactly IHOP was offering?"
The problem with "Pigs in a blanket" is, of course, that the word
pigs is plural while the word blanket is singular. So the strict
interpretation of the words would have to lead you to conclude
that there is only one "blanket," i.e. pancake, involved. Ones'
first inclination would be to rename the dish "pigs in blankets"
so that it would be clear that there are multiple pancakes
involved.
Better, but something about this solution still bothered my inner
social critic. About then the waitress came over to take my
order, so I asked her, "What exactly comes with pigs in a blanket.
Does it come with just one pancake?"
"Oh no," she said, "four pancakes and four link sausages."
I paused a few seconds to absorb and analyze this new information.
The waitress, bless her heart, waited.
"Well, how does it work?" I asked, "do you lay all the pigs down
together and then cover them all up with the four pancakes? Or is
each pig wrapped individually with its own pancake so that there
is a one to one association between each pancake and each pig?"
She looked at me. Politely.
"Each one is individually wrapped."
I had to think about this some more. How could you rename this
dish so that this was clear?
"But I can ask the cook to rearrange them if you like," she
offered, "Does it really matter?"
"Ummmm," I replied. "I guess not."
"Good then," she said, "Pigs in a blanket coming up."
And off she went. I hadn't actually intended to order that. I
was just curious. But I didn't have the heart to bother her
anymore.
While I was waiting for my "Pigs in a blanket" to arrive, I
couldn't stop thinking about this. I still wasn't satisfied. And
I kept thinking about the question the waitress asked me, "Does it
really matter?" Something about the tone of her voice when she
said that kept coming back to me.
No, it doesn't matter how the dish is constructed. At least not
in terms of what you get for your money. Whether those link
sausages are huddled together at the bottom of my plate under a
stack of 4 pancakes or whether they are "individually wrapped"
really doesn't matter that much.
And then it hit me. But the name of the dish _implies_ that it
matters. What's needed is a name for the dish that makes the
blanket part subservient to the pig part so that it doesn't raise
these issues at all. And that's when I had my brilliant insight.
When the waitress came back with my meal, I was ready.
As she was putting down my plate, I said to her, "Ya know, I think
this dish should be called `Pigs blanketed' so that there's no
implication about how the plate is arranged. Like you said, it
doesn't really matter."
"What?" she asked.
"You know, like `attorneys general.' You don't say `attorney
generals' or `attorneys generals' You say `attorneys general'.
The `general' is a descriptive word that modifies the main word
`attorney'. So `pigs blanketed' would do the same thing. It
would avoid confusion."
"Enjoy your meal sir."
Maybe she was just really busy that night.
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About Stuck In Traffic
Stuck In Traffic is a monthly magazine dedicated to evaluating
current events, examining cultural phenomena, and telling true
stories.
Why "Stuck In Traffic"?
Because getting stuck in traffic is good for you. It's an
opportunity to think, ponder, and reflect on all things, from the
personal to the global. As Robert Pirsig wrote in _Zen and the
Art of Motorcycle Maintenance_, "Let's consider a reevaluation of
the situation in which we assume that the stuckness now occurring,
the zero of consciousness, isn't the worst of all possible
situations, but the best possible situation you could be in.
After all, it's exactly this stuckness that Zen Buddhists go to so
much trouble to induce...."
Submissions
Submissions to Stuck In Traffic are always welcome. If you have
something on your mind or a personal story you'd like to share,
please do. You don't have to be a great writer to be published
here, just sincere.
Contact Information
All queries, submissions, subscription requests, comments, and
hate-mail about Stuck In Traffic should be sent to Calvin Stacy
Powers preferably via E-mail (
[email protected]) or by mail
(2012 Talloway Drive, Cary, NC USA 27511).
Copyright Notice
Stuck In Traffic is published and copyrighted by Calvin Stacy
Powers who reserves all rights. Individual articles are
copyrighted by their respective authors. Unsigned articles are
authored by Calvin Stacy Powers. Permission is granted to
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