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� � � � � � � Issue Number 15, Volume 1, Chapter 1, Epic 1 �
���� � � � � � Released on the date: Feb. 28, 1993. �
� � � � � � PUD serving the modem public since Febuary 22, 1993! �
� ���� ��� � For help and actual info, look elsewhere. �
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۰� "Everybody's got something to hide except for me and" � �
۰ "my llama." -The Bee-Gee's �
۰ �
� �
� �
� � Mail �
� �
� Well we actually got a little mail this issue so on with the �
� fun. �
� �
� Digital Saint #1 @2506 �
� Sun Feb 28 02:05:28 1993 �
� ACK! You quote and rip off Yes songs but you do not �
� attribute them to Yes. How could you do this??? Your appalling �
� lack of journalistic integrity has me puking my virtual guts out. �
� Your lame ass attempt at a new issue should never have been �
� released. What...Just WHAT were you thinking? You could have �
� explored how lamer speak is spreading to fast food restaurants! �
� Yes, I have seen it, lamers are taking over fast food. I could �
� have d1n3d at the store of my choice if I felt like it. I was �
� mortified to see that the deadly lamer diesease had taken over �
� the people who wrote up the signs. No, you don't cover this �
� IMPORTANT even at all. I can't help but think that perhaps YOU �
� are a lamer, who is helping to spread lameness with PUD. Orange �
� Potato Kaffee will kick your amateur ass into the ground... �
� �
� digital saint �
� �
� ACK! You suck Acoutic One, I shall hereby thrash the hell out �
� of your message. You LaMeR. First of all I did not Qoute Yes they �
� stole that from me! Yes when I was but fragments of DNA I wrote �
� that damn song, but unknown to most people, DNA patterns are not �
� granted rights by the Constitution. Fast food and Lamer Speak. Did �
� I ask you? The next time you could d1n3d at the store of your �
� choice I would advise you do it. And OPK kick our ass? I doubt it, �
� why? Because PUD's world headqaurtes[LaMeR SpEaK] is located in �
� rural Peru, conversationaly[LaMeR SpEaK] the llama capital of the �
� world. �
� �
� 46/50: Whoa, time to defuse the situation... �
� Name: Digital Saint #1 @2506 �
� Date: Sun Feb 28 13:00:09 1993 �
� �
� RE: oh how ridiculous �
� BY: Differential Goosebumps #65 @2506 �
� �
� Goosey don't get so riled up, Baphomet is just trying to �
� get you angry. Of course we all know that Baphomet really and �
� truly has no creativity at all. The PUDs are written by �
� Satan's Mutt in all honesty. Baphomet is just ripping him off �
� like all wannabe pirate lamers do! Admit it Baphomet, really �
� and truly, Satan's Mutt is the brains behind your PUDs. �
� �
� digital saint �
� �
� Ooops you figured me out! But can you guess who NO COURiER �
� actually is? Nope not Sally Struthers... �
� �
� � Why PUD is the greatest. �
� �
� Because I said so. First off how many cheap rip-off of PUD have �
� you seen? Well the first one that comes to mind, is VUD. Of course �
� this is the virtual underground digest. it doesn't really exist �
� but has an exact duplicate of PUD's format. Continuity. What other �
� really K-RaD TFiLE has such great continuity from one issue to �
� another? Now I know you are saying, The Dead Sea Scrolls, but no �
� not even the dead sea scrolls are as smooth flowing. Did I mention �
� because I said so? �
� �
� � The fine art of Toaster Oven Thievary. �
� �
� By: ThE BrAvE liTtLe ToAsTeR �
� �
� Why? This is a question I often ask myself. But when I sell �
� that oven for a cool 10-spot it makes it all worthwhile. Now I �
� understand than many failed miserably when they tried to implement �
� my first plan in an earlier PUD issue. Therfore I shall make this �
� article better for all. �
� The setup. Just like in toaster thievary, toaster ovens are not �
� not just a five-minute bang-em-up job. It requires great planning �
� on the part of the thief. Firsy you must decide what store you are �
� going to hit, then you acquire weapons. Lots of them. I myself �
� have found that the average hand-grenade is perfect for the know �
� it all 17 year old stock boy. It may take two for the Cashiers. �
� The Job. After staking out the place of attack for oh a week or �
� two you should have detailed maps and everybodies schedules at the �
� store memorized. Now you are ready to hit the joint. Now load your �
� weapons and fire up your get away vehicle because it's stealing �
� time. Go in find an attractive toaster oven. One with the WARM-UP �
� feature, perfect for PoP TartS. Make sure that is also has at �
� least a one year warranty. Why? Just in case you decided to keep �
� it. I am sure you can figure out how to get it out of the store. �
� If not, then what are you reading this k_rAD c00ol EliTE tFiLE fer �
� ya lameR? �
� The wealth. Now comes the fun part, the sell. No use in keep- �
� ing that toaster oven around when you can fence it and make some �
� serious MuLaH. The c00l, k_rAd Thing about toaster ovens, is that �
� they are actually very easy to sell. Just set up a yard sell and �
� uze has got it made. And just think you will be 10 bucks richer. �
� Repeat this a little and you will be rolling in the dough. �
� �
� � Divinity. �
� �
� No not the candy, but me. When one exists with the incredible �
� talents, skills, and attributes such as myself they are divine. �
� Now what makes me divine? Is it my knowledge? Me extreme dislike �
� for VBBS? No. It is because, I unlike you am like me. Yes that's �
� right. I am myself, not you. So you should be like me right? No. �
� For then you could never become divine. Being divine, great, the �
� best there is, is an attitude. One that you must display at all �
� times. One that is nothing more than, you. Be yourself. Simple. �
� �
� � Editorial. �
� �
� "Don't kill the whale...": Yes. Unless you just feel like it. �
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� [Mooga, the Whale] �
� �
� �
� � Love. �
� �
� Have you hugged yourself today? �
� �
� � Mail! �
� �
� Send your mail to: �
� Baphomet the Limbo King WWIVNET 2506@14 �
� NO COURiER WWIVNET 2506@36 �
� fReD tHe HiTmAn Any LaMeR board. �
� �
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� End of PUD 1:15, "O/P/K, just another hack of the greatest, PUD!" �
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