���� �  � ���  ���������������������������������������������������������
�  � �  � �  � �  Issue Number 15, Volume 1, Chapter 1, Epic 1         �
���� �  � �  � �  Released on the date: Feb. 28, 1993.                 �
�    �  � �  � �  PUD serving the modem public since Febuary 22, 1993! �
�    ���� ���  �  For help and actual info, look elsewhere.            �
������������������������������������������������������������������������
�۲�����   ��������      ������       ����    ��������   ����  �����۲��
۲�����     �����         ����         ��       �����     ��     �������
۱����       ��            ���                   ���       �       �����
۱��         �              �                     �                 ����
۱�                                                                  ���
۰�    "Everybody's got something to hide except for me and"         � �
۰     "my llama."                               -The Bee-Gee's        �
۰                                                                     �
�                                                                      �
�                                                                      �
� � Mail                                                               �
�                                                                      �
�      Well we actually got a little mail this issue so on with the    �
�   fun.                                                               �
�                                                                      �
�   Digital Saint #1 @2506                                             �
�   Sun Feb 28 02:05:28 1993                                           �
�        ACK! You quote and rip off Yes songs but you do not           �
�   attribute them to Yes. How could you do this??? Your appalling     �
�   lack of journalistic integrity has me puking my virtual guts out.  �
�   Your lame ass attempt at a new issue should never have been        �
�   released. What...Just WHAT were you thinking? You could have       �
�   explored how lamer speak is spreading to fast food restaurants!    �
�   Yes, I have seen it, lamers are taking over fast food. I could     �
�   have d1n3d at the store of my choice if I felt like it. I was      �
�   mortified to see that the deadly lamer diesease had taken over     �
�   the people who wrote up the signs. No, you don't cover this        �
�   IMPORTANT even at all. I can't help but think that perhaps YOU     �
�   are a lamer, who is helping to spread lameness with PUD. Orange    �
�   Potato Kaffee will kick your amateur ass into the ground...        �
�                                                                      �
�                                                     digital saint    �
�                                                                      �
�      ACK! You suck Acoutic One, I shall hereby thrash the hell out   �
�   of your message. You LaMeR. First of all I did not Qoute Yes they  �
�   stole that from me! Yes when I was but fragments of DNA I wrote    �
�   that damn song, but unknown to most people, DNA patterns are not   �
�   granted rights by the Constitution. Fast food and Lamer Speak. Did �
�   I ask you? The next time you could d1n3d at the store of your      �
�   choice I would advise you do it. And OPK kick our ass? I doubt it, �
�   why? Because PUD's world headqaurtes[LaMeR SpEaK] is located in    �
�   rural Peru, conversationaly[LaMeR SpEaK] the llama capital of the  �
�   world.                                                             �
�                                                                      �
�   46/50: Whoa, time to defuse the situation...                       �
�   Name: Digital Saint #1 @2506                                       �
�   Date: Sun Feb 28 13:00:09 1993                                     �
�                                                                      �
�   RE: oh how ridiculous                                              �
�   BY: Differential Goosebumps #65 @2506                              �
�                                                                      �
�        Goosey don't get so riled up, Baphomet is just trying to      �
�   get you angry. Of course we all know that Baphomet really and      �
�   truly has no creativity at all. The PUDs are written by            �
�   Satan's Mutt in all honesty. Baphomet is just ripping him  off     �
�   like all wannabe pirate lamers do! Admit it Baphomet, really       �
�   and truly, Satan's Mutt is the brains behind your PUDs.            �
�                                                                      �
�                                                   digital saint      �
�                                                                      �
�      Ooops you figured me out! But can you guess who NO COURiER      �
�   actually is? Nope not Sally Struthers...                           �
�                                                                      �
� � Why PUD is the greatest.                                           �
�                                                                      �
�      Because I said so. First off how many cheap rip-off of PUD have �
�   you seen? Well the first one that comes to mind, is VUD. Of course �
�   this is the virtual underground digest. it doesn't really exist    �
�   but has an exact duplicate of PUD's format. Continuity. What other �
�   really K-RaD TFiLE has such great continuity from one issue to     �
�   another? Now I know you are saying, The Dead Sea Scrolls, but no   �
�   not even the dead sea scrolls are as smooth flowing. Did I mention �
�   because I said so?                                                 �
�                                                                      �
� � The fine art of Toaster Oven Thievary.                             �
�                                                                      �
�   By: ThE BrAvE liTtLe ToAsTeR                                       �
�                                                                      �
�      Why? This is a question I often ask myself. But when I sell     �
�   that oven for a cool 10-spot it makes it all worthwhile. Now I     �
�   understand than many failed miserably when they tried to implement �
�   my first plan in an earlier PUD issue. Therfore I shall make this  �
�   article better for all.                                            �
�      The setup. Just like in toaster thievary, toaster ovens are not �
�   not just a five-minute bang-em-up job. It requires great planning  �
�   on the part of the thief. Firsy you must decide what store you are �
�   going to hit, then you acquire weapons. Lots of them. I myself     �
�   have found that the average hand-grenade is perfect for the know   �
�   it all 17 year old stock boy. It may take two for the Cashiers.    �
�      The Job. After staking out the place of attack for oh a week or �
�   two you should have detailed maps and everybodies schedules at the �
�   store memorized. Now you are ready to hit the joint. Now load your �
�   weapons and fire up your get away vehicle because it's stealing    �
�   time. Go in find an attractive toaster oven. One with the WARM-UP  �
�   feature, perfect for PoP TartS. Make sure that is also has at      �
�   least a one year warranty. Why? Just in case you decided to keep   �
�   it. I am sure you can figure out how to get it out of the store.   �
�   If not, then what are you reading this k_rAD c00ol EliTE tFiLE fer �
�   ya lameR?                                                          �
�      The wealth. Now comes the fun part, the sell. No use in keep-   �
�   ing that toaster oven around when you can fence it and make some   �
�   serious MuLaH. The c00l, k_rAd Thing about toaster ovens, is that  �
�   they are actually very easy to sell. Just set up a yard sell and   �
�   uze has got it made. And just think you will be 10 bucks richer.   �
�   Repeat this a little and you will be rolling in the dough.         �
�                                                                      �
� � Divinity.                                                          �
�                                                                      �
�      No not the candy, but me. When one exists with the incredible   �
�   talents, skills, and attributes such as myself they are divine.    �
�   Now what makes me divine? Is it my knowledge? Me extreme dislike   �
�   for VBBS? No. It is because, I unlike you am like me. Yes that's   �
�   right. I am myself, not you. So you should be like me right? No.   �
�   For then you could never become divine. Being divine, great, the   �
�   best there is, is an attitude. One that you must display at all    �
�   times. One that is nothing more than, you. Be yourself. Simple.    �
�                                                                      �
� � Editorial.                                                         �
�                                                                      �
�      "Don't kill the whale...": Yes. Unless you just feel like it.   �
�           �����                                                      �
�            ���                                                       �
�         ���ܰ�������        ���                                      �
�        ۱���߱���������   �߱���                                     �
�       �ݱO���������������߱�����                                     �
�       ۱������������������������                                     �
�       ۱���±��������������������                                    �
�       ۱������������������������                                     �
�       �����ٱ�������������������                                     �
�        ۱�������������������ܱ�                                      �
�         ��������������       �                                       �
�          [Mooga, the Whale]                                          �
�                                                                      �
�                                                                      �
� � Love.                                                              �
�                                                                      �
�      Have you hugged yourself today?                                 �
�                                                                      �
� � Mail!                                                              �
�                                                                      �
�      Send your mail to:                                              �
�      Baphomet the Limbo King WWIVNET 2506@14                         �
�      NO COURiER              WWIVNET 2506@36                         �
�      fReD tHe HiTmAn         Any LaMeR board.                        �
�                                                                      �
۰                                                                    ��
۰         �                 �                          �            ���
۱�        ��               ��                �        ��           ����
۱��      �����            ����               ��      ����        ������
۲����    �������         �������            ����    ������     ��������
������������������������������������������������������������������������
� End of PUD 1:15, "O/P/K, just another hack of the greatest, PUD!"    �
������������������������������������������������������������������������