___ _ _ _______ __
_ __ / _ \| | | |_ __ | ____\ \ / / # 13
| '_ \| | | | | | | '_ \| _| \ V /
| |_) | |_| | |_| | |_) | |___ | | (k3wl a55 azzk33 provided
| .__/ \___/ \___/| .__/|_____| |_| by m0gel)
|_| |_|
= "poupey, our poop is better than nevada, but just barely" - nybar =
Normal.txt -written, directed, and produced by: Nybar
It was a completly normal day in deleware.. or, as the
Local yokels called it, boringville.
Mr.Piegon "LOCOMOTIVE!"
Mr.Wiener Dog "NO!! NO!! AIRPLANE! FOOL!"
Mr.T "WHO DA FOO'? YOU DA FOO'! I PITTY YOU, FOO'!"
Purple Moneky Dishwasher "Exxxxccceeeeelenet"
Mr.Grasshopper "I LIKE CHEESE"
Mr.Wiener Dog " I don't get it"
Mr.Mailman "It wasn't a blue frog, joke"
Mr.Grasshopper "I LIKE CHEESE"
Mr.T "I Pitty da foo'.. that don't likeeeeeee the cheese"
Mr.Grasshopper "I LIKE CHEESE"
<mr.piegon eats mr. grasshopper>
Mr.Piegon "BURP!"
Mr.Wiener Dog "Eew..smells like cheese. Blorf a glak"
Mr.Piegon " I LIKE CHEESE"
Mr.Cheese "I, Am the cheese; I STAND ALONE!"
<Mr.Piegon eats mr. cheese>
Mr.Piegon "BURP!"
Mr.Wiener Dog "Eew.. smells like grasshopper."
<mr.piegon eats the universe..>
Mr.Piegon "BURP!"
Mr.Wiener Dog "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT SMELLS LIKE!! I'M
JUST A BIG, FAT, PLUMP; JUICY WIENER DOG WHO CAN'T
COMPREHEND THE VASTNESS OF THE UNIVERSE!! SO THERE
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!"
<Mr. Piegon eats Mr.Wiener Dog>
Mr.Piegon "BURP"
The Fin
#################################################
No good name
Nybar "Eye'm da don!"
Froboy "Yumm.. isn't dat a widdle derivative?"
Nybar "MY WORK IS NOT DERIVATIVE!!!!!! HERE! LOOK! I WROTE
A.. *NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*.. NON DERIVATIVE STORY!"
<froboy begins to read the story out loud>
Froboy "...Call me ishmael.."
<after the stories done>
Froboy "Forget it nybar..."
Nybar "Yum... kax."
Froboy "Soap.. anteroom.. he vhaz namped yump.. kax."
Nybar "It's me birthday.. can I love a lock of the fro?"
Froboy "Light or dark?"
Stupid narrator "At the begining of time.. in a land far off,
part of the fro was died in the river styx.. making it BLACK,
like the EVIL in mens hearts."
Froboy "You may never know.. the POWER; of the fro!"
Nybar "Hmm.. I like that.. rhymes.. know.. fro..know..fro.."
<snip>
Froboy "I cut you some neutral fro"
Nybar "Know..fro..know..fro"
Froboy "SHUT UP!"
Nybar "Shut.. ututut"
Froboy "FALL SILENT!"
Nybar "Silent.. ilent ilent ilent"
FIN
#################################################
klukaklui
I'm a chicken. FIN!
#################################################
Intro; At first, he was a gardener. Then one
day.. ask he was going on the bus to work..
his mind was pre-occupied. He managed to leave
behind his FAVIORITE clod of dirt. He got out,
and realising his mistake.. sought to correct
it. He's been running after that bus for 20
years now. He has an elite group of followers
who would do anything for him; They run
together.. they sleep together (eeww) and they
EAT together. These are the adventures of
NETTLE.. THE... WIZZER
--------------------------
-----------------------
=====================
<the wizzer and his followers run after bus.>
Nettle, The wizzer "Why the HELL are we running?!"
Follower #1 "Shut the fuck up and keep running, or
we'll lag behind"
Nettle, The Wizzer "Yeahyeah.. ok"
Next Story.. see more of the amazing adventures
of NETTLE.. THE.. WIZZZZEEERRRRRR!!!!!
----------
Intro; At first.. he was a gardener. Then one
day.. on the way to work, his mind was
pre-occupied. He managed to leave behind his
FAVIORITE clump of dirt. He vowed to correct his
Mistake then and there. He's been running after
the bus for 20 years now. He has an elite group
of followers.. who run with him.. sleep with him
.. ewwww .. and do other.. stuff.. with him.
He is:
NETTLE..... THE...... WIZZZERRR!!
Scientific Follower "Wizzer, I love you SO much that
while we have been running together, I have made you
a pair of rocket jet boots."
<scientific follower holds up rocket boots>
Nettle, the Wizzer "Those look like roller-skates"
Scientific Follower "I was a little short on supplies
.. hyay"
Nettle, the Wizzer "Welll.. if they'll help me catch
the bus.. I'l put em on"
<nettle.. the wizzer puts on roller rockets>
Nettle, The Wizzer "Shit.. I don't know how to ride
in these things!!!!"
<VROOOM!!>
<the wizzer crashes into the back of the bus>
<the wizzer falls straight backwards.. and is run
over by 500 elephants>
Nettle, The Wizzer "OW!"
Scientific Follower "Dang... hyay"
#################################################
1996: An URBAN Oddessy
-----------------------
Bad hangover and little sleep. To much coffee..
Not enough effect. My name is jubjub.. for those of you
who don't know. It's a normal day in my life; another
night in a cheap motel. As I was settling down to watch
some tv and listen to some music.. I was distracted by
a moaning sound.. and a clawing at the door. I opened the
door. It was my brother and then roomate nybar. He was
extremely beaten up. He looked like somethin outta the
toilet. I asked him what had happened.. and he uttered one
one singular; disturbing word: `Zinboobi'. I said `NO..
NOT Zinboobi!' right before he passed out. Let me explain
about that name. Now.. we used to be prize-wrestlers in
world wrestling federation. We were the best out there..
and we wanted to prove it. Those were the good days.
Anyway... about the name Zinboobi; The name Zinboobi
comes from a match we once had. At the end of the
wrestling season.. there is the finale; the champs fight
eachother. They were the other champ. We.. of course.. had
to strive feverously until we beat them. We worked out
for weeks.. often until we passed out. Whenever we talked
to them.. they seemed well-rested.. and confident. And
they never seemed to exercise. When the big match came..
Nybar went to say `let the best man win' in the nybar-way.
He came back disillusioned about wrestlings authenticity.
He told me he had found STERIODS in their warm-up room.
My hopes, dreams, and thoughts shattered around me. I would
never be the same. He thought we had to throw the match..
but I knew that if we threw the match.. we would be no
better then they were. We would be letting down millions
of fans. It would be like shoeless joe throwing the world
series. We had to fight. The fighting was fierce. I nearly
got KILLED. Good thing it was alternating. Nybar bravely
fought Eziekial Zinboobi while I rested. He managed to
win; because I had weakened him. Then.. I fought abraham
Zinboobi to a standstill. We had won. They swore revenge.
Only later did the manager tell me he had known about
the steriods... and if we told.. we wouldn't live to
talk about it. That was the same day he got Me and nybar's
resignation from world-class federation wrestling. We used
to be rich, happy, and beloved. Now we were jobless;
joyless, and avoided. Still.. we fought clean. When nybar
came to.. he told me that while he was bringing the
groceries home.. he was jumped by both zinboobie's at the
same time. He didn't stand a chance. And he said they were
bigger and stronger then before. He also told me that they
were coming for us. He said they said something like
`NYBAR YOU BASTARD! HERES A MESSAGE FOR THAT BROTHER
OF YOURS: THE BIG MAN DOESN'T LIKE RATS!' It was
tournament day all over again. I hadn't said anything
about it. But then I realised it. NYBAR! YOU COULDN'T
HAVE!!
Nybar "I'm sorry man. I couldn't stand it anymore. The
Constant guilt. The searing pain. The thought that scum
like that weren't kicked out. Searing my sould. Grinding
my bones. I haven't slept for the thought of it. I reported
it to my lawyer. He says we have a big case."
Me "I understand how you feel man. I've often thought of
telling about those scum myself. But I couldn't bear the
thought of what they might do to me and mine"
Nybar "The only way we are ever going to live this through
is together. The court date is the 21'st."
Me "THATS A WEEK FROM NOW!"
Nybar "I know. And no one *REALLY* seems to believe me.
Witness protection is refused. Today is going to be ...
difficult."
Me "Today IS going to be difficult. You look bad. Sleep"
....
Thats one of the good things about nybar.. no need to tell.
him twice. He was sleeping like a baby by the time his
head hit the pillow. If I had a pillow. But it was time
I started following my own advice. I hadn't slept for a
long time to. It was a big burder off my shouders that
nybar had told them. I could now sleep in peace. Now..
another burden. Keeping alive until the trial. Out of the
frying pan and into the fire.. thats me. No need for
serious thought now. Only need for sleep.
.....
I slept a long.. dreamless night. I woke up feeling semi
refreashed. Right when I woke up.. something hit me. It
was a smell. It smelled like pancakes and sausage. Nybar
was cooking breakfast. No need to get jumpy. I decided to
walk into the kitchen and get my fair share. I was half
asleep.. so it didn't really hit me until I went into the
kitchen. The place was wrecked. There had obviously been
a huge struggle. Nybar was no where to be found.. and
belive me.. I looked. On the door of the apartment was a
note. It said that if I ever wanted to see my brother
again.. I had to go to a particular house that was just
around the block. If I brought help, nybar's life was
forfeit. If I didn't come.. nybar was as good as dead.
It was a no win situation. I wish nybar were here... but
he was still busy being kidnapped. Those BASTARDS!!!
They wrecked my apartment. They broke into my abode. They
kidnapped my brother. I dropped to my knees, and yelled..
in a star trek-like way
"ZINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBIII
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This.... was.... a.... SHOWDOWN! When I arrived in the
building specified by the note.. everything was dark..
with no light switches in sight. I yelled; quite stupidly,
in hindsight; "HELLO!?$#% YOU BETTER BE HERE Zinboobi'S!
AND YOU TO, BIG MAN!" and then waited. No answer. I
shouted again. Still no answer. Right when I was
considering going out and getting help.. I heard a voice:
"Good night, Mr. Jubjub"
WHACK!
When I awoke.. I was in a room as dark as the one I was
previously in. I was sitting, tied up.. to a chair at a
desk.. under a very bright, hot.. light. And then I
noticed something else. I wasn't alone in this room. I
didn't know it then.. but it was the big man.
The big man "Greetings, Mr. Jubjub"
Jubjub "WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT ME HERE?!@ WHY HAVE YOU
DESTROYED EVERYTHING THATS EVER MATTERED?#@?%@#%
The big man "Isn't it obvious? You've threatened my
operation!! And about me destroying everything that ever
mattered to you.. I assure you that your brother is quite
intact"
Jubjub "WHERE IS HE?$!~@#@%"
The big man "He could be... anywhere. muahahhahahaha!"
Jubjub "Why have you brought me here?!#?$"
The big man "To extend a little.. offer."
Jubjub "Oh.. an OFFER eh? Like WHAT.. SCUM!?"
The Big Man "You and your brother used to be the best
wrestlers I ever had. The public loved you. If you would
just.. drop the charges...."
Me "NEVER!"
The Big Man "Maybe you don't feel like co-operating right
now. A little nap might help your temper. Hanz, franz;
if you please?"
WHACK
I woke up in his basement. When I saw the door.. I knew
there was no escape. It was bolted, and re-inforced.
There was one upside. Nybar was there.. looking better
then I probably did. Having nothing to do.. we decided
to tell eachother what happened. Heres nybar's story:
Nybar "I woke up at around eight. I was really hungry.. so I
decided to make breakfast. Then I heard someone knocking
on the door. It was the pizza guy. Still being pretty
tired.. I didn't notice that it was 8:35 in the morning.
He asked if I wanted to have his pizza... and I said
yeah. When I opened it.. alot of gas came out. I woke up
here."
Jubjub "So why was the apartment wrecked?"
Nybar "I dunno.. I guess they just decided to trash the place"
Jubjub "They don't only cheat.. gamble.. and other things I'm
sure.. they're JERKS!"
....
Just then I heard something. It was the door. Someone
opened it a crack and threw a loaf of bread in. It was
*EXTREMELY* stale. Someone said `hahahahah.. enjoy
your cement bread!!!'. It LITERALLY had cement in it.
It was hard as a brick. I made use of it in an
unforseen way. I threw it at the wall. Now.. the wall
was pretty flimsy.. and I saw one brick that was extra
loose. I threw the cement-bread at it and it gave in.
From there.. we were able to pry loose enough other
bricks to open a hole big enough to crawl through.
WE WERE FREE!!
To be continued.....
--------------------
extro - nybes
My poor cat nybar.. she is gone on vacation. Damn those Hendrixsons.. they
have her~$@!#!@#%)!#(+ I KNOW IT!!!!!!!!! I'll kill every last one of them
with my own 2 feet! I MEAN HANDS%#!!@$!@$ !@$!@$!@)$*!%#+)!*%#)
---------------------
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