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� � Mighty Issue # 3 � �
۲��������� Liquid "MiLK's Guide To Being An Asshole" ۲���������
۲��������� illicit By James Hetfield ۲���������
۲��������� Kollections ۲���������
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Are you like me, the kind of person that gets easily depressed? Do you
have a low self esteem? Do you feel like you don't have a real friend in the
whole world? Well, we here at MiLK know what it's like to be friend-less. To
have absolutely no social life. To live a pitiful life. We here at MiLK were
once like you, we used to have no lives also! But then we discovered the secret
to social control! Now we're the talk of the town! we're the people you look
forward to seeing at every party you go to! We are the Mr. And Ms. Popular of
the town! What did we find out, you ask? what really IS the big secret to
popularity?
Totally Ridicule anyone in your path to the top of the social ladder!
How do you go about doing this? It's all very simple and chronicled
in the official MiLK Guide To Being An Asshole! Yes, that's right, the assholes
of society are the popular ones leading the best lives! In 5 easy installments,
we can teach YOU how to be an asshole! The MiLK Guide To Being An Asshole is
Detailing out the 5 easy steps on how to totally metamorph into an asshole..
1. Make fun of those that are less fortunate than you! That's right! Those
Elderly don't stand a chance when you apply the witty remarks within The
MiLK Guide To Being An Asshole! Those Paraplegics will be running home
to mommy when YOU throw the insults at them! Those Epileptics will be
shaking in their boots from the knowledge of how to throw the best put
downs in The MiLK Guide To Being An Asshole!
2. Make fun of those that are more fortunate than you! The Best way to make
those friends you've always wanted is to bitch about a common bond; Hating
people that have all the power in society! You'll learn how to make a
preppy boy get so frustrated they'll go grunge!
3. Forget about the people that got you where you are! Leave your old good
friends one you've learned how to become an asshole, and a popular one
at that, from MiLK!
4. Run for Public office! Yes, one of the best ways to make friends is act
like you Care about the government! Look what MiLK did for Once-Stoner
with no friends, Bill Clinton! Now he has people waiting on him left
and right. And Yes, You too just Like Bill Clinton can be an Asshole
with the help of MiLK!
5. Finally, the Last Step in becoming an asshole is to constantly drive
during rush hour! Driving during rush hour automatically makes you
an asshole, but with MiLK we can teach you how to annoy the maximum
possible people!
It's all made to look like Child's Play with the MiLK guide to
Being an Asshole! You can pick up your copy at any MiLK Courier, or
send 5 easy installments of $19.99 to:
MiLK's Guide To Being An Asshole
P.O. Box 5049
Kennelworth, IL
25125
