____
                        |  |________________________  __
                        |  |     |     |     |     | |  |
                     ___|  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  | |  |
                     |  |  |  |  |  |  |__|  |  |  | |  |
                     |  |  |  |  |  |  |     |  |__| |  |
                     |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |___  | |  |
                     |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  | |  |
                     |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  | |  |
                     |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  | |__|
                     |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  __
                     |_____|_____|__|  |_____|_____| |__|
  ----------------------------------|__|-------------------------(gh/cia)---

         Jonas E'Zine -- Volume 2, Number 1 -- Released April 2, 1996
      Jonas is produced semi-regularly by Edicius (Tom Sullivan).  Jonas
   and the material therein are property of Edicius and Jonas Print Matter
    Incorporated.  Jonas may be freely distributed as long as this notice
       remains in place, and there is no fee charged for its retrieval.

                    You can all just kiss off into the air
                     Behind my back I can see them stare
                     They'll hurt me bad but I won't mind
                 They'll hurt me bad they do it all the time
                         Violent Femmes / "Kiss Off"

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Jonas E'Zine Volume 2, Issue 2                                 May 3, 1996

  Contents:

  (1) - Edicius' Editorial
  (2) - Tragic Death Calls For New Regulations (Essay) / by Edicius
  (3) - Supernatural Powers (Story) / By Edicius
  (4) - Reviews: Edicius' Opinions on EVERYTHING!
  (5) - News Snippets

                   In memory - Mystery Science Theater 3000
  --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  (1) - Edicius' Editorial

  You thought Jonas was gone, didn't you?  Ha ha!  I tricked you!  It was an
  April Fools Day joke all along!  Didn't you know?  Silly.

  No, not really.

  If you are just tuning in, last issue I announced that Jonas and Slinky
  e'zines were merging together to form Legacy e'zine.  Well, due to our
  unfortunate timing, things came up between the four editors, and together
  we didn't really have the time/energy/means to start a new e'zine.  So,
  we've gone back to our respective 'zines (with Mindcrime, who was the only
  one who didn't have a 'zine of his own beforehand, and had the time to
  start a new one, starting a new 'zine.)

  Phew.  So here it is, your beloved Jonas.

  ----------

  As far as the newsworthy material of this month, there is hardly any, as
  normal.

  We didn't merge.

  The web site (http://www.cybercomm.net/~edi/jonas.html) has been updated
  and changed somewhat.  I added graphics!  You can read the new issues
  online!  Get new news about Jonas..  _AND_ you can get up to the minute
  news and weather!

  (You think I'm kidding about the news and weather?)

  I am starting a new guest column in Jonas.  Since some of Jonas can be
  considered personal (as in a personal/diary 'zine), I want to hear from
  you.  Each issue I will have (or at least hope to have) a different writer
  write about their life.  Currently titled "How I Got This Way", each
  person will pull things from their own life that they think shaped the way
  they are today.

  I've been doing this with almost every issue.  I am constantly relating
  things from my life that made me how I am.  Maybe it was the relentless
  teasing that I endured through 7th and 8th grade, or the time I made an
  ass out of myself in front of the whole school; everything you do, no
  matter how trivial it can seem to be, shapes our life or shows a different
  side of you.

  So, pick up that keyboard.  Write about your life.  Tell the world (well,
  not the _entire_ world) about your life.  Tell us about the exciting
  things that happen in your daily life.  Tell us about the time someone
  pulled your shorts down in gym class, and you weren't wearing underwear!
  Don't be afraid, I haven't.

  If you are really interested in doing this, email me.  I will publish it
  anonymously, if you would like.  If I really see something really
  fascinating about you, or I get a tremendous response to your column, I
  may give you a column in every issue!  Just think about that!

  To prove exactly how _easy_ it is to write something like this, I will act
  as your caring guide into this amazing jungle.  I figure, no one will
  write for this column is I don't have the guts to do it first..  So, here
  it is.  I am bearing my soul for one and all...

  ----------

  It may seem silly, but everything that I am today -- my personality and
  such -- can have it's origin traced back to one day.  One day changed my
  life forever, and made me who I am today.  This day was in seventh grade.
  Let me tell you about myself first.

  I was born December 12, 1979.  In grand ole' New York City.  I moved to
  the New Jersey shore around my first birthday.  La de da, I lived in a
  somewhat white trash neighborhood for my first 13 years.

  The area was good.  I always had somewhere to ride my bike to.  I always
  favored going on long bike rides, somewhere near the beach.  I had this
  routine down, basically.  I would ride about 2 1/2 miles to this baseball
  field near a marina.  I don't know what it was about it, but there was
  this one peach tree.  Right off of the road, next to the outfield.  Maybe
  it was the way the wind blew in from the water, the view, or whatever.
  But that place was my utopia, my refuge.  I loved that place.  Sometimes I
  wish I could go back there.

  Growing up, I was always one of the smarter kids.  Never _the_ smartest,
  but I always did good enough.  A's and B's..  However, I was always the
  oddball.  I had relativity few friends.  My habits were always different
  from the other kids.  I just didn't have the same interests.  I didn't
  like playing sports, so I would always read.  I look through some of the
  books that I used to read when I was in third grade, and I'm amazed.  I
  also really liked maps.  I could tell you every state and it's capital
  when I was in third grade.  I read, read, and read more.

  I wasn't really fat.  Just a little chunky.  I rode on my bike, on average,
  about 2 miles a day, sometimes as much as 6.  For a 10 year old, that's
  pretty good.  So, because of the bike riding, I had fairly strong legs.
  Nothing incredible, but enough where I looked semi decent down there.  The
  rest of my body is hell.   Pure flab.  I dress around my body, so I don't
  really show.  I never go without wearing a shirt.  Even if it's 100
  degrees, and I'm out at a pool or the beach swimming,  I wear a t shirt.
  Granted, I do have very fair Irish skin, so I have an excuse.

  Anyway, since I was moderately overweight, I dreaded recess.  We would
  play the same game every day- kickball.  What a stupid sport that was.
  Maybe if I was good, I would not have minded.  But I sucked.  I never
  could hit the ball past the "infield."  If I did, I couldn't run very
  fast.  Damn those fuckers that made it so competitive.  I would have to go
  through such torment after recess because I sucked at it so much.

  For about half of the fifth grade, three other kids and myself would sit
  in the corner of the playyard and play with matchbox cars.  Just making
  roads in the dirt, driving the cars around, and then getting teased
  because we weren't playing kickball.

  I could deal with the whole school thing until about seventh grade.
  Granted, I had my fair share of times when I was spit on, thrown at with
  rocks, and beat up.  I just don't really see the need to go into them that
  much right now.  Maybe at a later date.  To sum up my grades school life
  up to and including sixth grade- I was an outcast, nerd, dork.  Not really
  liked.

  Boy, if I thought I wasn't liked in those years, wait until I moved!

  When I was twelve, my parents decided that it was time for us to move.  We
  had been renting this small house, with rent going up and three kids
  getting older, we didn't need it anymore.  So, we decided to move to a
  "better" neighborhood, which included changing schools.

  Luckily, the school in which I was going to, I had one of my friends in.
  Well, one of the two people I could consider a friend at that point.  He
  had been a grade ahead of me in my old school, and failed one year, so he
  was forced to repeat the year.  At that school, however, if you failed
  after fifth grade, you had to leave the school.  So, in the long run, it
  helped me there.  He helped me make friends and stuff, but I killed that
  after two weeks.

  Let me tell you about this school, first.  I went from a fairly
  conservative school, to a majorly different school.  My old school had
  about 40 kids in my grade, this one had 90.  The kids themselves were
  different, too.  Kids were already having sex, smoking pot, and drinking;
  in the seventh grade.  Needless to say, this was all new to me.

  I wasn't warmly accepted, either.  My natural shyness, combined with the
  new environment and the less then warm attitudes of the kids made me really
  nervous.  Man, I really hated it.  I wanted to go back to my old school,
  really bad.

  Then it happened.  The day that changed my life forever.  You wouldn't
  believe how one incident can change your life.  This incident did.

  One day, only about two weeks into my new school, I wasn't feeling so
  good.  Kind of sick, and very nervous.  I don't know what really happened,
  I just shit myself. I was feeling a little queasy, but thought it was
  something in passing.  I thought that I could hold it.  But it happened
  anyway, right in the middle of history class.

  It was not just a small thing, this was a big thing.  It stunk up the
  whole wing of the school.  For the new kid to do that, it was a sin.  At
  first, no one really knew what it was.  Then, when we switched classes,
  and they saw the chair that I was in, well, then they knew what happened.
  The ride home from school was hell.  At that time I was taking a mini-bus
  to school (I hadn't moved into my new home yet), and all four kids on the
  bus sat in the front, while I was in the back.

  Stage one -- Denial.  I had a lot of people, obviously, come up to me and
  ask me if I did.  I of course denied it, and not being the creative genius
  I am today, I said it was some smell coming from the radiators. Obviously,
  no one bought it.   All alone, by myself.  Setting the precedent which
  would remain to this day.

  LIFE WAS FUCKING HELL.  You don't know how many nights I cried myself
  sleep.  I had no friends.  My best friend (the one I knew prior to
  switching schools) hardly talked to me for awhile.  I had insults thrown
  at me from every direction.  But I took it.  I really had nothing to say
  to them.  I did it, I admitted it (to myself.)  I just sunk lower and lower
  into my desk, and didn't talk to anyone.

  For the rest of the seventh grade year, I was insulted pretty bad.  But
  after awhile, they did calm down.  Eight grade, I was insulted _really_
  bad.  My new nickname: "Sergeant Piles."  It was really abbreviated, the
  genius who thought it up named me "Sergeant Piles of Shit."  The wounds
  just dug deeper.  I still don't look at my yearbook from that school.  I
  cry when I read what the kids wrote it in.  For all I care, they can all
  rot in a big vat in hell.  Fucking assholes.

  I looked forward to high school.  I figured it would be a clean canvas.  I
  was wrong.  The 30 kids from my school that went to my high school soon
  told the other 90 kids about my deep dark past.  The torments went on
  every single day.  Everything from the kids saying "Man, I gotta take a
  shit" as they walked past me, to people just blatantly walking up to me
  and saying "YOU CRAPPED YOUR PANTS."

  Everything really hurt.  I always thought that I was the one with the
  problem.  I felt like the grotesque outcast.  I didn't think I really
  belonged anymore.  On several occasions I came very close to that suicide
  point, but I never got the nerve to actually go through with it.

  Then, over a period of time, it hit me.  I'm not really the one with the
  problem; they are.  Why the hell should I feel embarrassed?  It was
  something that has happened three years ago.  Should I feel ashamed
  because they're bringing up old garbage?  No.  It got boring after awhile,
  actually.  Always the same insults.  Never anything new.  So tedious.

  But when I reflect on the whole incident, I actually am thankful that it
  happened.  That one day, back in September of 1994, changed my life
  forever.  It made me the person whom I am today.

  I am a substantially stronger person.  Look, if you had those kinds of
  insults being thrown at you every five minutes, wouldn't you grow a little
  stronger in yourself after awhile?  Yes, it sounds very contradictory, but
  somehow, it all unravels itself, and I'm the benefice in the end.  Sure,
  I would have wasted everything if I had killed myself a long time ago, but
  I didn't.  I'm here now, and that's what matters.

  I was able to see the flaws in other people.  I'm not the only person with
  a gross past.  I saw the traits in other people.  I'm very perceptive of a
  person's personality.  That helps me a lot today.

  Hell, if you really want to read into it.  If I hadn't become so lonely,
  when I got that modem in eight grade, I may not have geeked out on the
  computer as much, and may not be sitting here right now writing this.
  How's that for fate?

  One thing that always struck me, was something that one of my "friends"
  said to me near the end of eighth grade..  We were talking, and he told
  me, "Tom, just think.  Right now, everyone knows you.  Would you rather be
  known, or a lonely nerd?"  Well.  He was right.  Everyone did know me,
  maybe not what I would want them to know me for, but they knew me
  nonetheless.

  The really weird thing about the situation, is the fact that I have really
  only talked about it to kids that I went to school with at the time.
  Friends of mine from outside the school, I don't know if they know or not.
  For some strange reason, however, I'm telling hundreds of strangers right
  now.  A year ago, I would never have even thought about this; right now,
  I'm bearing my soul to all.

  It's odd how you can gain hope from what seems like the most humiliating
  incidents.  I'm glad I can.

  See how it all goes back to that one day?  I might write a subsequent
  article to this, and go into detail about other aspects of my life.  For
  now, I'll leave it at this, hopefully I'll have other people writing this
  'new' column.  If you really want to hear more, you can always email me.

  ----------

  See?  If I had the guts to write that, with possible whiplash from
  immature readers who may bring it back up in my face, I'm sure you can
  write something like that too.  C'mon, I know you can.

  As always..  Read, enjoy, send your comments to me.

  Have a nice day.

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  (2) - Tragic Death Calls For New Regulations - by Edicius

  "We need to begin by acknowledging our own contribution ... We feed one
  another: those of you looking for publicity and those of us looking for
  stories."  "whether we in the media ... by our ravenous attention
  contribute to this phenomenon ... We did."

  -- Ted Koppel on the questions posed by the death of Jessica Dubroff.

  -----

  The death of Jessica Dubroff shows us, as Americans, just how competitive
  we can be.  This case brings to light new age parental teachers, a lax
  government organization, and an overzealous American bond.

  If a seven year-old was out driving a Ford down the New Jersey Turnpike,
  people would be afraid that she would cause an accident; when she's flying
  across the country, she becomes a national hero.  Why would the Federal
  Aviation Administration allow this to go on, then?

  Granted, flying a plane is actually much safer then driving a car.  You
  have more informational gauges, easier controls, and less objects to
  contend with.  In theory, a seven year old should be able to fly a plane,
  but do they have the mental capabilities to actually do so?

  When Jessica Dubroff left Half Moon Bay, California, on April 10, she set
  out, along with her father, Lloyd, and her instruction, Joe Reid, to
  become the youngest pilot to fly cross country.  The Guiness Book of World
  Records discontinued this category in 1989 to prevent a tragedy like this,
  and "Flying" magazine refuses to acknowledge attempts like this because
  they did not want to promote a stunt like this.  J. Mac McClellan, editor
  in chief of the magazine said, "It has no validity from an aviation
  sense: the pilot in reality is the certified pilot."  A certified pilot
  has to be 16, and this Jessica was not.

  One can debate the clause(s) that let Jessica fly.  The FAA won't review
  their stand on flying age for about six months.  At that time, the
  results from the crash investigation will be in, and we will be able to
  see who was really at the controls.

  The flight left from California and stopped at Cheyenne, Wyoming, before
  continuing with the trip to Falmouth, Massachusetts, with one more stop to
  refuel in Fort Wayne, Indiana.  The landing in Cheyenne was tough.  There
  were strong crosswinds that made the plane wobble on it's approach.  The
  takeoff the next day was even tougher.

  With an approaching thunderstorm, the winds were whipping around at the
  speed of 25 to 30 mph, which would make a veteran pilot cease flight.
  In a push to keep on schedule, Jessica's father opted to continue on.

  In an interview before the takeoff, Jessica appeared as chipper as she was
  supposed to seem.  "I had two hours of sleep last night."  As they were
  taxing to the runway, Jessica spoke to her mother on a cellular phone and
  said, "Mom, do you hear the rain?"

  The plane took off, and was noticeably overweight.  The thin mountain air
  (Cheyenne is 6,156 ft. above sea level) is a factor that adds extra time
  to the take off.  Many pilots who are used to flying at low-levels don't
  compensate for this fact, and wind up in the golf course at the end of the
  runway.  As the plane went through it's sluggish and shaky takeoff, the
  people on board must have instantly realized a problem.  Reid's arms were
  more fractured then anyone's, which leads investigators to believe he had
  control of the plane.

  Jessica's parents typified the New Age idealism that makes people look
  crazy and strung-out.  She was born in a birthing tub without a doctor or
  midwife present.  Her parents kept her out of any formalized school,
  because they saw the institution of school as being too restraining.
  Instead of toys, they were giving tools to build their own furniture.
  Jessica and her mother lived in a house without television.

  Her parents believed that the child's bliss should guide them.  They
  allowed Jessica to do whatever she wanted.  According to them, after
  taking a flight on her sixth birthday, flying was what Jessica truly
  wanted to do.  The idea of the cross-country trek was her father's,
  presented to her as "her choice."

  Her father became the public relations director for the voyage.  Printing
  up specialty hats to remember the event, and making sure that the proper
  media (tv, print, and radio) would be covering it.  From the minute she
  took off, the news covered every moment of it.  They knew that if she made
  it, it would become the typical uplifting American spirit story that would
  make everyone feel better.  If she crashed, just another accident to
  lead off the newscast with.

  The parents, the FAA, and the media: All part of a large chain that fed
  off of each other.  The parents "fostered" their childrens' development,
  without holding back anything.  The FAA allowed this to go on, without
  taking the proper precautions.  The media covered the story, added the
  fuel that her parents needed to push Jessica even further.

  If the media wasn't involved in this, it may never have happened.  Why
  else would her parents push her to do this?  (Oh wait, I forgot.  This is
  something that she _wanted_ to do!)  What would they get out of it all?  A
  few boasts here and there?  Surely not enough to provoke a sane person to
  do this.  (Whoops.  Talking about the Dubroffs, and I used the word
  "sane"?  Surely I jest.)  It is just another in the line of parental
  pressure that pushes children to the point of burnout.

  When her mother, Lisa Blair Hathaway, visited the crash site in Cheyanne,
  Wyoming, she placed flowers on the spot.  A young boy came up to her, and
  attempted to give her a teddy bear.  Her response was that her children do
  not play with toys.

  This crash leads to many unanswered questions.  This tragedy did not have
  to happen, but it did.  The only thing we can do is to prevent it from
  happening again.  That can only come through stronger regulations from the
  FAA.

  The FAA can change the rules, but we can't change parental zealousness.

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------

  (3) - Supernatural Powers - By Edicius

  "If you could be any X-Man", Mike began to say to his friend John across
  the lunch table, "who would you be?  Would you rather be Banshee or
  Wolverine?"

  "Well", John began to reply, "that's a hard question.  Banshee can fly at
  the speed of sound, and Wolverine has those big claws.  Plus, he can
  reheal really quick.  I would take Wolverine.  You would get tired of
  flying after awhile."

  "True, but if you could have a super-power, wouldn't it be flying?"

  "Not at all.  If you're a superhero, you HAVE to fly.  If you don't, well,
  then you're not a superhero.  I mean, did you ever see a superhero who
  didn't fly?  Superman, Spiderman, Wonderwoman; they could all fly through
  the air, somehow."

  "Well, what about Hulk?"

  "Man, if you were that strong, would you want to fly?"

  "I guess not..  Well, what would your power be?"

  "I would take the ability to stop time.  You know how great that would be?
  I mean, you would be the smartest, wittiest, and awesomest person in the
  world.  A teacher calls on you in school, you can pause time, and do
  research on the question.  If someone insults you, stop time and think of
  something really witty to say.  If you don't like someone, embarrass them
  by taking off their clothes!  It would be so fun!  So dominating!  You
  could walk across the ocean and go anywhere!"

  "Well, not really.  I mean, the water wouldn't be still, because the water
  molecules have to move still.  If the air molecules are moving, so are the
  water ones.  If the air molecules weren't able to be moved, then you
  couldn't move in the frozen time.  It just wouldn't work.  In that case,
  you would need to be able to fly..  You would need that to get over the
  oceans and stuff."

  "True, very true.  But imagine the possibilities.  All the free sex you
  want!"  He points his friend toward Janice, who was bending over to pick
  up a sodacan that she dropped.  "Take Janice for a second.  Pretty,
  well-endowed, and perky.  You want to have sex with a girl like that.  But
  you could _never_ have sex with a girl like that.  As she is in a position
  like she is now, pause time, lift up the skirt, and have fun."

  "Wow.  Good idea.  You wouldn't have to worry about viruses, because
  they're a living organism, and henceforth would be inactive at the time
  you had sex.  If you got her pregnant, no one would know who it was that
  impregnated her!  Two months down the road she starts getting sick in the
  morning!  Oh the joy..  Hey, you could also go into a bank, stop time, and
  take all the money, too!"

  "But, my friend, you wouldn't need to.  Why would you need money when you
  can go into a store, stop time, and take everything you want without being
  seen?"

  "Well, yeah.  But you need some money to make some of the 'purchases' look
  legitimate."

  "I guess."

  "Wait..  We agreed that the air and water molecules would be moving,
  right?"

  "Yeah."

  "Well, if they're moving, then what is suspending the planes in the air?
  The fish in the water?  Whats to keep everything up?  You could kill
  thousands at a time by crashing every plane at the same time.  You could
  plan it, really- 'You leave for Florida Friday at four?  Uh..  Have a nice
  and safe trip'", Mike said with a sinister laugh.  "Really, where would
  gravity be?  You would just float into the air.  It would defeat the whole
  purpose of stopping time.  When you would reactivate time, you would just
  fall back to Earth when gravity kicks back in..  or, you would burn
  instantly if you floated all the way to space."

  "Good point.  Man, stopping time sucks.  I'd take flying now.  Actually,
  I'd take invisibility with the power to walk through walls, but that's
  being a little picky."

  "Picky?  You want to know picky?  I'd take the invisibility with wall
  walking option, but I would also have the power to slip out of my body,
  and allow my body to keep functioning normally.  Then I could slip into
  someone elses'' body, and control them."

  "Just take mind-control in that regard."

  "I guess..  Hey, who would you rather be, Spiderman or Wonderwoman?"

  "I'd be Wonderwoman.  I would fuck saving the world and play with myself
  all day."

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  (4) - Reviews: Edicius' Opinions on EVERYTHING!

  Concert: Brutal Juice/Civ/Toadies - Stone Pony, Asbury Park, NJ - April 27

  When I first heard that Civ was playing in my area, over a month ago, I
  knew that I was going to that show.  Over the course of a month, I had
  about 18 different rides fall through on me.  It wasn't until about 2:00
  AM, the day of the show, that I had a definite ride.

  I went to the show with fellow 'zinesters Mindcrime, Belial, and Lucifer.
  We went there planning on buying tickets at the door.  Unfortunately, a lot
  of other people did too, and it was sold out when we got their.

  Mindcrime and Belial didn't really feel like scalping tickets, but Lucifer
  and myself did.  Unfortunately, no one had extra tickets.  One of my
  friend's friend would have an extra ticket, but she didn't show up for
  awhile.  The bouncer at the door told me that in twenty minutes, he would
  sell Lucifer and myself tickets for $20.  The tickets went for $12.50, $15
  with Ticketmaster charges, but we were willing to pay it.  However, we
  didn't have to wait, some guy had two extra tickets for $15 each.

  We get in, and after finding our way to a reasonably good spot, we waited.
  Waited, and waited, and waited.  After about 30 minutes (over an hour
  since the doors first opened), the first band comes on.  The band was
  Brutal Juice, whom I never heard of before, and didn't know what they
  would be like.

  They were actually really good.  They turned out to be a pretty decent
  punk band.  Touring in support of their Interscope Records release,
  entitled _Mutilation Makes Identification Difficult_, they played their
  current single "Ugly on the Inside."  After a few more dates with the
  Toadies, they tour with Gwar in May.

  The crowd got into this one.  A pretty intense mosh pit, with dozens of
  crowd surfers.  The lead singer of Brutal Juice came out during their last
  song and hung from the water pipe that ran just over the crowd.  Needless
  to say the bouncers were pissed.  There was one fight which was cause by a
  dickhead.  The guy had the nerve to kick and hit someone after they fell
  in the middle of the pit.  It was quickly ended.

  I promised Lucifer that I'd interject in my review that as he was getting
  water between the Brutal Juice and Civ sets, a really hot girl was hitting
  on him.

  Next came the crowd favorite, Civ.

  Near the end of the Brutal Juice set, I made sure that I made my way up to
  front for the Civ set.  If my past experiences with the band told me
  anything, they told me that the place would erupt the second Sammy started
  to pound on those drums.  The place did when the first few notes of
  "United Kids" were heard.

  Playing songs from their Lava Records release, _Set Your Goals_, Civ
  filled the air for about an hour with many socially uplifting messages.
  Both during and between songs.  Before their song, "Don't Got to Prove
  It", Civ (the lead singer of the same-named band) said, "This song goes
  out to everyone .. if you want to be a punk, a skinhead, a metalhead ..
  whatever you want to be .. if you want to be a freak .. if anyone says
  anything, fuck them."

  Playing all of the songs on their CD, including "Can't Wait One Minute
  More", "Choices Made", "State of Grace", and the title track, "Set Your
  Goals", they also played a new song called "Social Climber."  This song
  was about the "very beautiful, very fabulous .. and the very annoying.
  The kind I [Civ] fucking hate."

  As always, the pit was incredible.  During "So Far.. So Good.. So What",
  the place erupted into a monster circle pit and hundreds doing the pogo.
  Civ was constantly near the crowd.  He didn't let the gate in front of the
  stage stop him, either.  He used the water pipes and lighting hanging over
  the front of the stage to his advantage and constantly hung over the
  crowd.  When one crowd surfer almost hit him as he was singing, Civ
  quickly said, "Hey, nice to see you up here."

  The headliner of the night came on next.  The Toadies are currently
  touring in support of their current CD, _Rubberneck_.  They were really
  good, attracting a very diverse crowd age-wise.  They played for nearly an
  hour and a half.

  I'm going to totally skip over the rest of the Toadies set.  Mainly
  because at the beginning of the set, I got knocked over in the pit, and a
  400 pound guy fell on me.  Luckily I was picked up before (too many)
  people stepped on me.  After that, I just slam danced and pogoed my way
  across the floor, into the back of the club, and took a seat for awhile.

  I did go back in, but I never did get into the Toadies' set too much.
  They played really good, however.  I guess if I had known more about them
  before the show, I would have had fun.

  Now, as I'm sitting here the next day, I see that I have something that
  really looks like a bite mark on my wrist.  I have no idea how that got
  there.  Eerie.

  eZINE: Doomed to Obscurity - Issue Nine

  For almost nine months now, Doomed to Obscurity has been releasing very
  large issues.  Many different writers with many different articles.  The
  last few issues prior to issue nine have been alittle less then what you
  would expect from them, quality wise.  This issue they changed that.

  I really enjoyed this issue.  They changed the layout, with one of the
  editors, Eerie, working on it this time.  That was a nice sight.  Also,
  they had some really great articles.  My personal favorites were Styx's
  "Sliced and Diced Hookers in a Ziplock Bag", Mogel's "My Belly", Morpheus'
  "Video Games Stole My Childhood", and as always, all of Eerie's work.

  The rest of the issue was good.  The only things I didn't like were James
  Hetfield's opening article called "Girls Can't Write", and Creed's "A
  Multi-Cultural Spectrum of Anger."  Dead Cheese's 'ascii toon' wasn't so
  good, either.

  You contact DTO at their web site, http://www.thirdwave.net/~dto, or by
  emailing them at [email protected].

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  (5) - News Snippets - Compiled by Edicius

  From the Middletown [NJ] Independent, 5/1/96:

                          _Boy Injured in Explosion_
                      (By Eileen Koutnik, Staff Writer)

  ABERDEEN-- An 11-year old boy was seriously injured last week while trying
  to make an explosive using gunpowder, wire, a battery pack, and an
  electrical switch, police said.

  The boy and at least two other boys -- one aged 12 and the other 14 -- were
  at the victim's Cedar Place home in Cliffwood Beach section when the
  accident occured at about 3:30 pm April 22.

  They removed the gunpowder from shotgun shells, and tried to assemble an
  explosive, police said.

  The 11-year old suffered burns to his chest and the right side of his face.
  He was airlifted to St. Barnabas Medical Center, Livingston Township and
  released from the hospital April 25, a hospital spokeswoman said.

  Lt. John Powers said police recovered the shotgun shells on the property,
  but are still looking into where they came from.

  Police said the victim was closest to the explosive when it exploded in the
  living room of his house.  The other boys were not injured.

  One of the boys said they were inspired by the movie, "The Specialist,"
  according to Powers.  Powers did not know if they boys were being
  supervised by an adult.

  Charges are pending and will be filed in family court against the boys
  involved, Powers said.

  Aberdeen Police Detective Michael Vacaro and Detective Robert Mazur from
  the New Jersey State Police are investigating.

  ----------

  From the Middletown [NJ] Independent, 5/1/96, Letters to the Editor,

                       _Local Boys Did the Right Thing_

  On April 13, I was notified by several young boys that they had located a
  bag of drugs.  The three young boys, Michael Guadian, Stephen Woodford and
  Joeseph Walling waited at the scene and kept the item in sight until our
  arrival.  Althought the bag turned out the more tobacco than narcotic,
  there was trace elements of marijuana in it.

  According to Detective Stephen Wheeler, the course of action taken by the
  youths was textbook according to what is taught in the DARE program.  At
  the minimum, the youngsters reconized the item for what it was --
  potentially dangerous -- and they made a very good decision.

  The detectives in this bureau would like to commend Michael Gaudian,
  Stephen Woodford and Joseph Walling for th epositive actions they took on
  April 13.  Congratulations guys, you did a good job!

                                                            Kevin J. Cassidy
                                                                   Detective
                                                    Keyport Detective Bureau
                                               Bayshore Narcotics Task Force

  --------------------------------------------------------------------------

                          Jonas e'Zine Issue Seventeen
                   Send all inquiries to [email protected]
                 Visit the new and expanded Jonas website at:
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              "Jonas, it is more then a 'zine, its a lifestyle"

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