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Date: Thu, 9 Sep 1999 17:51:59 -0600 (MDT)
From: cult hero <[email protected]>
To: FUCK Distro List <[email protected]>
Subject: [FUCK] #576 - Random Thoughts
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                               Random Thoughts
                               ---------------

       Hmmm well just a quick but somewhat amusing/scary/interesting
thought that just came to light recently. I've thought this before but it
was just its reoccurance due to a specific situation that made me think
about writing on it. To put it in a nutshell I've noticed that we humans
need other humans to keep us safe from ourselves... To clarify: Those
people that seems to spend an extended period of time self absorbed in
deep introspection usually are far less carefree than those others that
are constantly 'distracted' via social interaction. The slightly humorous
part, its almost as if we need social interaction to keep ourselves safe
from our own mind. I realize that I'm generalizing things slightly when I
say this, but nonetheless mental instability is something inflicted upon
us by ourselves, deep introspection, totally self absorption in our own
world created by our own mind. Of course chemical imbalances or
environmental circumstances all play a role in the cause of mental
sickness, however mental sickness' battlefield is carried out in what is
the essence of our individuality, our thoughts. Nothing ground breaking in
this, just more of a general observation and its irony.

       It almost seems as if our mind is not the controlling mechanism of
our existence, its almost as if this mass that we call the brain is an
entity on its own and not our human defining entity. Almost as if it has
its own agenda, our conscious thoughts occupy a small portion, something
really insignificant and with minimal control. Reason I say this is as
follows. As we all know, soldiers can become shell shocked after seeing
all that destruction, death and other sickening actions, which the mind
deals with by a variety of means. However, all these means are not
something that we can consciously define, or say that we consciously
trained ourselves to follow. All of these defense mechanisms were the
result of subconscious changes, almost as if there is that other part of
our brain that controls us, that does anything necessary to sustain its
own existance. Reason I say its own existence is because invariably these
changes alienate use as humans from the rest of society... which obviously
isn't something that any sane individual would want. Selfish little thing
isn't it?

       So I guess all those 'shallow' individuals that are so carefree
are the ones who are the most sane? I don't know, it might be true. One
thing that all deep thinkers like to believe is that in someway we are
'deeper', we have more substance, our personality is defined more by our
actions rather than our appearance. I can't argue with that, but is that
really something to pursue? If I had a choice I can't say that I would
really want to be in the present situation that I am. I think that I would
prefer to be one of the carefree and shallow.. after all what's the point
of living if the only memories one will have is of those lonesome days and
nights with oneself and one's thoughts. The quality of one's life is
defined largely by the memories, material wealth plays a very small part
in the grand scheme of happiness. Memorable moments rarely if every center
around moments of seclusion, not to say one can't only have memories of
seclusion. The urge to criticize 'shallow' individuals is rooted a
jealousy most of the Time. I say this because I'm aware of myself being
guilty of this. I think I could have so much to say, some much to discuss
with people.. however I also lack the ability to communicate on the level
of the 'shallow', to make inane conversation. Once again this is not a
criticism of the 'shallow' people, just a description of what our present
society considers of that sort of conversation.

       In the end maybe we should all force ourselves to get out, to mix
with as many people as possible. Don't just get drawn towards those people
like oneself, its good to know people similar to oneself, but what's the
point of mulling over the same stuff again and again. I for one am tired
of always talking about the way things are, and the way to resolve them...
I think all people of reasonably mental stability are aware of how to
resolve their situation, they just do not have the desire to do it... or
fear it too much.


       Inner^Kry - 15/May/99


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