COACHING NOTES
JANUARY 17, 1999
Brought to you by Ann McAllister, Ph.D.
(But you can call me Bubba)
Welcome to the second issue of COACHING NOTES, your biweekly coaching session,
in the form of an email newsletter, for those who want to live balanced,
fulfilling, successful lives and are willing to take the steps to make that
happen.
Each issue will contain information which, I hope, will be useful, thought
provoking, and just plain fun. I welcome submissions from all of you for the
newsletter, suggestions on what you would like to see in it, constructive
criticism on what you don't like about it, and even messages to unsubscribe
because you don't find it useful. Please feel free to forward COACHING NOTES
in its entirety to friends, family, and colleagues.
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SOME MUSINGS ON SUCCESS.
One of the things I spend a great deal of time doing as a coach is pondering
success. What is it and how do you get it? One of the conclusions I've
reached is that every successful person has a purpose or meaning for their
lives; they have discovered their vision and mission; they have an organizing
principle around which to orient their day-to-day activities. Successful
people may or may not have wealth, power, or fame, but what they do have is a
reason to look forward to getting up each morning. Wealth, power, and fame
are empty without meaning.
~OK, admittedly this is my own version of success. What is yours?~
It wasn't too long ago in human history that most people's mission in life was
to survive. Thankfully, many of us no longer have to focus on just surviving,
but often we are ill equipped to determine and pursue what would be a truly
fulfilling life. Instead we drift. We medicate ourselves with drugs,
alcohol, possessions, the Internet, food, TV. We lose ourselves in endless
activities, duties, and responsibilities. We look for a soul mate who will
transform our lives into blissful existence.
~Do you see yourself doing any of these?~
~Take a few quiet moments and let yourself explore what would truly be a
meaningful life for you.~
~How close is your present life to that ideal?~
There are many reasons why this kind of self-exploration is difficult. We
might have to face the emptiness of our lives. We then might have to make
changes, and those changes can be difficult and scary. At a minimum, they are
uncomfortable. We can find a zillion excuses why change isn't possible so we
can stay in our comfort zone.
~What happens inside you when you contemplate having a meaningful life?~
~ What painful feelings, obstacles, and excuses do you come up with?~
~On the other hand, what possibilities occur to you? What excitement do you
feel?~
One common obstacle I hear from my clients is that they have no idea how to
find their vision and mission. I always suggest they start by looking at what
excites them, what they truly enjoy, what they feel passionately about, what
fascinates them, what they are naturally drawn too.
~So, what excites and fascinates you? What do you feel passionately about?~
~How much space in your life do you provide for these things?~
One of the reasons I really enjoy having a sense of meaning and an organizing
principle in my life is that it simplifies living. We are bombarded by
options for how we spend our time. As a person who can be interested by most
anything, I can be overwhelmed by all the things calling my name. By
understanding what is meaningful and important to me, I can more easily make
conscious choices in how I spend my time and what I focus on. That way, at
the end of most days, I have a sense of having had a fulfilling day, not just
a day of endless chores and meaningless tasks capped by empty recreation.
~How do you make choices about how you'll spend your time and what you'll
focus on?~
~How much of your precious time do you waste?~
~How much of your time is spent in ways that are truly meaningful to you?~
~What is one thing you can do this week to make your life more meaningful? Do
it!~
~What are two things you can do this month? Do them!~
No magic answers here, but questions we all need to ask ourselves (and ACT on
the answers) if we don't want to wake up one day and look back on an empty
life.
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AND FOR THE READERS WHOSE CATS ADD MEANING TO THEIR LIVES
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never
forgotten this."
-Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through
snow."
- Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."
- English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
- Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another."
- Ernest Hemingway
"Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you
later."
- Mary Bly
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by
cats."
- Anonymous
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
- Colette
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have
many other fine qualities as well."
- Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats."
- Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for
what you want."
- Joseph Wood Krutch
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
- John S. Nichols
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AND FOR SOME PERSPECTIVE
I found these statistics in the Direct News Newsletter from Answers Direct
Mail, Ltd. They don't cite a source for these statistics, but intuitively
they seem to make sense. And for me they certainly add perspective on the
very comfortable life I live.
"If we could shrink the Earth's population to a small village of just 100
people, and all existing human ratios remained the same, the world would look
like this:
~There would be 57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 from the western Hemisphere and 8
Africans.
~51 would be female.
~70 would be people of color.
~50% of the entire world's wealth would be in the hands of on 6 people and all
would be
US citizens.
~80 would live in substandard housing.
~70 would be unable to read.
~50 would suffer from malnutrition.
~1 would be near death. 1 would be near giving birth.
~ Only 1 would have a college education.
~No one would own a computer."
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WORDS OF WISDOM...........
"If you can't be kind, at least be vague."
--Judith Martin--
"Be careful you don't exchange what you want most for what you want at the
moment."
--author unknown--
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A NEW FRIEND AND A GOOD READ
I had the delightful pleasure of meeting David Greenberg of Simply Speaking,
Inc. recently. David is a man who is living his dreams. He is an
internationally recognized speaker, seminar leader, and just plain nice guy.
His latest book Thank God It's Monday! Designing the Life you Love Beyond the
Weekend, has just been published. It it's a very entertaining and readable
primer on doing just that, designing a life you love. I recommend it highly.
David can be reached at 1-888-773-2512.
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SHAMELESS MARKETING TIP
If your life is pretty good, but somehow you just know there should be more,
you could use a coach. If you are ready to move your business or career to
the next level, you could use a coach. If you have had a lifelong dream but
just can't quite get started on realizing it, you could use a coach. Great
athletes have coaches. Great musicians have teachers. Great leaders have
advisors. Isn't YOUR life just as important? For a complimentary
introductory session to see if coaching is for you, call me at 770-399-6619 or
email me at
[email protected]. I am available for individual and group
coaching.
Who is Ann McAllister, Ph.D., you ask? Well, I have been helping people
achieve the lives they really, really want for 25 years as a psychologist and
more recently as a personal and professional coach. I am a member of the
International Coach Federation and the Coach Training Program of Coach
University. My current projects include creating VisionBuilding workshops
with colleague Mary Pike, Psy.D.(we call ourselves the Vision Mavens) and
seminars on truly effective financial planning with financial planner Fran
Levine. Watch for more information on these learning opportunities.
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Copyright 1999 Ann McAllister, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
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copyright) to anyone you think might enjoy it. To subscribe, send an email to
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