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% Athene
% Volume II, Issue 2
% March 1990
% Contact [email protected]
%
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(The Online Magazine of Amateur Cr) 108.95 618 T
(eative W) 392.95 618 T
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(V) 213.82 498 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 228.93 498 T
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(Jim McCabe) 450.89 392.67 T
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( ) 511.51 362.67 T
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(\322Uncle Itchy\323) 90 316.67 T
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(Heidi G. W) 425.73 300.67 T
(olfson) 487.79 300.67 T
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( ) 511.51 268.67 T
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(A) 211.23 182.33 T
(THENE) 217.7 182.33 T
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(, Copyright ) 252.69 182.33 T
(\251 1990 By Jim McCabe.) 300.73 182.33 T
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(Cir) 237.19 170.33 T
(culation:) 250.16 170.33 T
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( 654 \05021% PostScript\051) 286.25 170.33 T
(This magazine may be archived and reproduced without char)
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-0.02 (entirety) 92.18 146.33 P
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respective authors, and no further use of ) 122.06 146.33 P
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(echnology Corporation.) 261.23 110.33 T
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(Jim McCabe) 72 48.67 T
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(page 1) 518.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
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-0.28 (Some might \336nd it strange that it ) 90 652.64 P
(has taken me six issues to \336nally get ) 72 640.64 T
-0.84 (comfortable with Athene. The tedious ) 72 628.64 P
(job of processing subscriptions, al-) 72 616.64 T
(though still done by hand, is becom-) 72 604.64 T
(ing more ef) 72 592.64 T
(\336cient. The development ) 117.89 592.64 T
(of the PostScript edition is also be-) 72 580.64 T
-0.1 (coming more and more automatic, as ) 72 568.64 P
(I continue to \336ne-tune both my cus-) 72 556.64 T
(tom software and the templates used ) 72 544.64 T
(by FrameMaker) 72 532.64 T
(. I am comfortable, ) 135.56 532.64 T
(but I don\325) 72 520.64 T
(t think I will ever be com-) 111.23 520.64 T
-0.47 (pletely content. There is always room ) 72 508.64 P
-0.56 (for improvement, and I encourage the ) 72 496.64 P
(readership to recommend changes.) 72 484.64 T
-0.95 (This month\325) 90 472.64 P
-0.95 (s issue contains some ) 137.64 472.64 P
(subtle changes, suggested by a few ) 72 460.64 T
(concerned subscribers, which relate ) 72 448.64 T
(to the formatting of the PostScript ) 72 436.64 T
(versions. The story titles are now en-) 72 424.64 T
(closed in quotes, instead of being un-) 72 412.64 T
(derlined. The title of this column is ) 72 400.64 T
(now formatted more consistently) 72 388.64 T
(, us-) 203.2 388.64 T
-0.09 (ing no italics or quotes everywhere it ) 72 376.64 P
(is referenced. Also, the gray \322\336ller\323 ) 72 364.64 T
(blocks, used to balance the columns ) 72 352.64 T
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([email protected]) 72 685.67 T
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-0.84 (been discontinued. A true dash is used ) 230.94 640.64 P
(now as well, instead of a double hy-) 230.94 628.64 T
-0.6 (phen. In addition, the \322A\323 icon is now ) 230.94 616.64 P
(used to signal the end of every story) 230.94 604.64 T
(, ) 374.91 604.64 T
(instead of being used only for my ed-) 230.94 592.64 T
(itorial section. The most visible ) 230.94 580.64 T
-0.62 (change is a reduction in the size of the ) 230.94 568.64 P
(type. The smaller type helps to ease ) 230.94 556.64 T
(the psychological burden of reading ) 230.94 544.64 T
-0.44 (such narrow columns of words, and it ) 230.94 532.64 P
-0.24 (also makes each issue about four pag-) 230.94 520.64 P
(es shorter) 230.94 508.64 T
(.) 268.97 508.64 T
(I have also started a newer sys-) 248.94 496.64 T
-0.7 (tem for distributing the back-issues of ) 230.94 484.64 P
(the magazine. Before, I would pro-) 230.94 472.64 T
(cess each request an issue at a time, ) 230.94 460.64 T
-0.5 (immediately when I received it. Now) 230.94 448.64 P
-0.5 (, ) 376.56 448.64 P
(I save up all the back-issue requests ) 230.94 436.64 T
-0.04 (until the end of the week, then I send ) 230.94 424.64 P
(them all out at once. Although this ) 230.94 412.64 T
-0.88 (causes a slower turnaround time in the ) 230.94 400.64 P
(short run, above this individual level ) 230.94 388.64 T
(it makes much more ef) 230.94 376.64 T
(\336cient use of ) 322.36 376.64 T
-0.8 (the network and contributes to a faster ) 230.94 364.64 P
(throughput in the long run. These ) 230.94 352.64 T
389.88 72 540 720 R
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(reader) 389.88 713.33 T
(-sponsored improvements, bal-) 414.65 713.33 T
(anced with a few other small ) 389.88 701.33 T
(modi\336cations made on my own, ) 389.88 689.33 T
(should help to make this monthly ) 389.88 677.33 T
(magazine a more enjoyable experi-) 389.88 665.33 T
(ence for everyone.) 389.88 653.33 T
(I am also happy to announce the ) 407.88 641.33 T
(formation of a new \336ction magazine ) 389.88 629.33 T
(for the Scandinavian community \321 ) 389.88 617.33 T
10 F
-0.31 (V) 389.88 605.33 P
-0.31 (olven) 394.88 605.33 P
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-0.31 (. Like Athene and Quanta, V) 416.53 605.33 P
-0.31 (ol-) 528.9 605.33 P
-0.16 (ven will be distributed electronically) 389.88 593.33 P
-0.16 (, ) 535.16 593.33 P
(over the ever) 389.88 581.33 T
(-expanding global com-) 441.86 581.33 T
(puter network. The editor) 389.88 569.33 T
(, Rune Jo-) 491.63 569.33 T
(hansen, had originally planned for it ) 389.88 557.33 T
(to deal exclusively with science \336c-) 389.88 545.33 T
-0.7 (tion, but has decided to allow for \322any ) 389.88 533.33 P
(good stuf) 389.88 521.33 T
(f in Danish, Swedish, or ) 427.18 521.33 T
(Norwegian.\323 \050Not \322nynorsk.\323\051 Rune ) 389.88 509.33 T
(may be reached at:) 389.88 497.33 T
(Rune Johansen) 434.82 473.33 T
(Editor) 436.83 461.33 T
(, ) 461.41 461.33 T
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(V) 466.41 461.33 T
(olven) 471.41 461.33 T
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([email protected]) 395.76 451.33 T
9 F
-0.52 (But enough of this, on now to the ) 407.88 428.33 P
-0.01 (real purpose of the magazine, the sto-) 389.88 416.33 P
(ries!) 389.88 404.33 T
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(Kenneth A. Kousen) 72 48.67 T
(/) 140.86 48.67 T
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(Piled Higher and Deeper) 147.08 48.67 T
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(page 2) 518.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
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-0.89 (Sometimes, graduate school is no ) 90 641.33 P
(picnic.) 72 629.33 T
(I re\337ected on this fact in the Stu-) 90 617.33 T
(dent Lounge while \322talking\323 to my ) 72 605.33 T
(friend Jeremy Davis, a fellow Ph.D. ) 72 593.33 T
(candidate in mathematical physics. I ) 72 581.33 T
(use the word \322talking\323 loosely) 72 569.33 T
(, be-) 192.93 569.33 T
(cause Jeremy suf) 72 557.33 T
(fers from Graduate ) 140.09 557.33 T
(Student Disease: the \336rm conviction ) 72 545.33 T
-0.25 (that his work is so fascinating that ev-) 72 533.33 P
-0.25 (eryone in the world ought to be eager ) 72 521.33 P
(to hear about it, in great detail, for ) 72 509.33 T
-0.21 (hours on end. I \336nd this self-centered ) 72 497.33 P
(foolishness frustrating, because it ) 72 485.33 T
(makes people reluctant to hear about ) 72 473.33 T
(truly important work.) 72 461.33 T
(Like mine, for instance. I am go-) 90 449.33 T
(ing to revolutionize physics by intro-) 72 437.33 T
(ducing the concept of negative ) 72 425.33 T
(probabilities. How can the odds of ) 72 413.33 T
(something happening be negative? ) 72 401.33 T
(Simple. If something is absolutely ) 72 389.33 T
(impossible, its probability is zero. ) 72 377.33 T
(Therefore, a negative probability ) 72 365.33 T
(means that it is so totally impossible ) 72 353.33 T
(that you shouldn\325) 72 341.33 T
(t even be wasting ) 141.78 341.33 T
-0.32 (your time thinking about it in the \336rst ) 72 329.33 P
(place.) 72 317.33 T
(This, naturally) 90 305.33 T
(, brings me to the ) 147.65 305.33 T
(problem of writing my thesis. Don\325) 72 293.33 T
(t ) 213.4 293.33 T
(get me wrong; I\325m an excellent stu-) 72 281.33 T
(dent. I took all the required courses, ) 72 269.34 T
(and did \336ne \050after all, grades don\325) 72 257.34 T
(t ) 207.54 257.34 T
-0.06 (matter to graduate students, right?\051. I ) 72 245.34 P
-0.68 (passed my qualifying examinations at ) 72 233.34 P
(the end of my second year with only ) 72 221.34 T
-0.44 (minor damage, and spent the last four ) 72 209.34 P
(years blissfully contemplating the ) 72 197.34 T
-0.17 (wonders of the universe. All right, so ) 72 185.34 P
(I mostly did it while drinking beer at ) 72 173.34 T
(the beach. Thinking deep thoughts is ) 72 161.34 T
-0.56 (best performed when you are relaxed, ) 72 149.34 P
-0.49 (and where do you go to relax? Q.E.D. ) 72 137.34 P
(\050Latin for \322it ought to be obvious ) 72 125.34 T
(from here, so don\325) 72 113.34 T
(t bother me with ) 145.65 113.34 T
-0.53 (any questions\323\051. All in all, it had been ) 72 101.34 P
-0.33 (a good, productive, and, of course, re-) 72 89.34 P
-0.21 (laxing existence, all for the bene\336t of ) 72 77.34 P
230.94 72 381.05 648 R
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(my fellow man.) 230.94 641.33 T
(Last week, however) 248.94 629.33 T
(, my entire ) 328.75 629.33 T
(carefully cultivated world received a ) 230.94 617.33 T
(shattering blow) 230.94 605.33 T
(. I had presented the ) 292.2 605.33 T
(deep, powerful theorems I had been ) 230.94 593.33 T
(working on to my advisor for His re-) 230.94 581.33 T
-0.42 (view \050note: advisors always get a cap-) 230.94 569.33 P
(ital He/She/It \321 follow this rule and ) 230.94 557.33 T
-0.04 (you have at least a \336ghting chance to ) 230.94 545.33 P
(get your degree\051. When He later ) 230.94 533.33 T
(called me into His of) 230.94 521.33 T
(\336ce, I subtly ) 314.6 521.33 T
(commented that it was He who had ) 230.94 509.33 T
-0.23 (provided the inspiration for this beau-) 230.94 497.33 P
(tiful, elegant work, and carefully ) 230.94 485.33 T
(called His attention to the way my ) 230.94 473.33 T
-0.84 (work built upon His own. I \336nally told ) 230.94 461.33 P
-0.5 (Him that I was going to name my \336rst ) 230.94 449.33 P
(child after Him, even if it was a girl. ) 230.94 437.33 T
(He rolled His eyes in response, no ) 230.94 425.33 T
(doubt thanking the heavens that He ) 230.94 413.33 T
-0.32 (had been blessed with such a devoted ) 230.94 401.33 P
(disciple.) 230.94 389.33 T
(Imagine my astonishment when ) 248.94 377.33 T
-0.41 (He then informed me that funding for ) 230.94 365.33 P
(my project was being terminated, so ) 230.94 353.33 T
(that if I wanted a Ph.D., I had to sub-) 230.94 341.33 T
(mit a thesis within two weeks!) 230.94 329.33 T
(I went to the Student Lounge to ) 248.94 317.33 T
-0.37 (consider my plight, which is how I re-) 230.94 305.33 P
(ceived the privilege of hearing every ) 230.94 293.33 T
(detail of Jeremy\325) 230.94 281.33 T
(s research, as I said. ) 298.11 281.33 T
-0.72 (When he \336nally ran out of wind, I told ) 230.94 269.34 P
(him about my predicament.) 230.94 257.34 T
(\322Ok,\323 he said, \322so you have to ) 248.94 245.34 T
(give your advisor a rough draft. ) 230.94 233.34 T
(What\325) 230.94 221.34 T
(s the problem?\323) 255.37 221.34 T
(\322W) 248.94 209.34 T
(ell, at this particular point in ) 262.02 209.34 T
-0.44 (time, I don\325) 230.94 197.34 P
-0.44 (t have much actually com-) 276.79 197.34 P
(mitted to paper) 230.94 185.34 T
(.\323) 290.91 185.34 T
-0.58 (\322Really? Y) 248.94 173.34 P
-0.58 (ou\325ve been here forev-) 292.05 173.34 P
(er) 230.94 161.34 T
(. How much do you have?\323) 238.16 161.34 T
(I looked down my nose at him. ) 248.94 149.34 T
-0.57 (\322Please, sir) 230.94 137.34 P
-0.57 (. Like the immortal Gauss, ) 274.79 137.34 P
(I am an explorer) 230.94 125.34 T
(, not a colonizer) 296.32 125.34 T
(. I ) 360.16 125.34 T
(prefer the noble quest for knowledge ) 230.94 113.34 T
(to the mundane aspects of recording ) 230.94 101.34 T
-0.08 (my discoveries. While it is true that I ) 230.94 89.34 P
(may have spent more time here than ) 230.94 77.34 T
389.88 72 540 720 R
7 X
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-0.05 (the average student, I assure you that ) 389.88 713.33 P
(it has been well spent.\323) 389.88 701.33 T
(\322So you keep telling me. Don\325) 407.88 689.33 T
(t ) 529.85 689.33 T
(you have anything at all?\323) 389.88 677.33 T
-0.52 (I gave him my pages of theorems ) 407.88 665.33 P
-0.77 (and proofs. He shuf) 389.88 653.33 P
-0.77 (\337ed through them, ) 466.23 653.33 P
(emitting an occasional whistle. He ) 389.88 641.33 T
(never actually laughed.) 389.88 629.33 T
-0.32 (\322My friend,\323 he said after he had ) 407.88 617.33 P
(\336nished, \322you have a problem.\323) 389.88 605.33 T
-0.92 (\322Nonsense,\323 I replied, \322) 407.88 593.33 P
10 F
-0.92 (we) 500.86 593.33 P
9 F
-0.92 ( have a ) 511.97 593.33 P
(problem.\323) 389.88 581.33 T
(\322W) 407.88 569.33 T
(e? What do you mean \324we\325?\323) 420.96 569.33 T
(I then proceeded to dazzle him ) 407.88 557.33 T
-0.38 (with logical ar) 389.88 545.33 P
-0.38 (guments in favor of his ) 446.68 545.33 P
(helping me \336nd a way out of this ) 389.88 533.33 T
-0.31 (mess. Sadly) 389.88 521.33 P
-0.31 (, I must report that man is ) 436.68 521.33 P
-0.38 (not a rational animal. Threats worked ) 389.88 509.33 P
(better) 389.88 497.33 T
(, but I\325m afraid it was bribery ) 412.24 497.33 T
-0.26 (that was most ef) 389.88 485.33 P
-0.26 (fective. I shall dearly ) 454.16 485.33 P
(miss my mint condition set of Pink ) 389.88 473.33 T
(Floyd original master recordings.) 389.88 461.33 T
-0.03 (\322W) 407.88 449.33 P
-0.03 (ell,\323 he said, \322I\325ll try) 420.96 449.33 P
-0.03 (, but I\325m ) 502.89 449.33 P
(not promising anything. I\325ll let you ) 389.88 437.33 T
(know if I come up with any ideas.\323) 389.88 425.33 T
(\322Sir) 407.88 413.33 T
(, you are a gentlemen and a ) 423.59 413.33 T
(scholar) 389.88 401.33 T
(. I look forward with great an-) 418.2 401.33 T
(ticipation to hearing your recommen-) 389.88 389.33 T
(dations.\323) 389.88 377.33 T
-0.95 (Later that evening while listening ) 407.88 353.33 P
(to Pink Floyd\325) 389.88 341.33 T
(s) 447.09 341.33 T
10 F
( The W) 450.98 341.33 T
(all) 478.38 341.33 T
9 F
( \050you know) 488.93 341.33 T
(, ) 533.8 341.33 T
(\322we don\325) 389.88 329.33 T
(t need no education...\323\051, I ) 426.61 329.33 T
-0.89 (compiled a list of possible solutions to ) 389.88 317.33 P
(my dilemma. It ran, in part:) 389.88 305.33 T
-0.49 (1. Finish the thesis. I rejected ) 405 281.34 P
(this as impractical, given ) 414 269.34 T
-1.04 (the time considerations and ) 414 257.34 P
(my adviser) 414 245.34 T
(\325) 458.51 245.34 T
(s unfortunate ) 461.29 245.34 T
(predisposition against me.) 414 233.34 T
-0.01 (2. T) 405 221.34 P
-0.01 (ransfer to another depart-) 420.74 221.34 P
-0.92 (ment. \050And have to take the ) 414 209.34 P
(quali\336ers again? Get seri-) 414 197.34 T
(ous.\051) 414 185.34 T
-0.57 (3. T) 405 173.34 P
-0.57 (ransfer to another school. ) 420.19 173.34 P
-0.12 (\050Possible but unlikely) 414 161.34 P
-0.12 (. See ) 500.3 161.34 P
(\0501\051 above.\051) 414 149.34 T
-0.16 (4. Get a job. \050And ) 405 137.34 P
10 F
-0.16 (work) 478.89 137.34 P
9 F
-0.16 ( for a ) 498.88 137.34 P
(living? There has to be a ) 414 125.34 T
(better way) 414 113.34 T
(.\051) 455.26 113.34 T
(5. Extortion.) 405 101.34 T
-0.47 (6. Marry my adviser) 405 89.34 P
-0.47 (\325) 485.55 89.34 P
-0.47 (s daugh-) 488.33 89.34 P
(ter) 414 77.34 T
(.) 424 77.34 T
72 666 378 720 R
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(\322Piled Higher and Deeper\323) 72 712 T
3 F
(By Kenneth A. Kousen) 72 698.67 T
6 F
(KAK%[email protected]) 72 685.67 T
3 F
(Copyright \251 1990 Kenneth A. Kousen) 72 672.67 T
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(Kenneth A. Kousen) 72 48.67 T
(/) 140.86 48.67 T
1 F
(Piled Higher and Deeper) 147.08 48.67 T
0 F
(page 3) 518.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
385.5 720 385.5 72 2 L
0.5 H
2 Z
4 X
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226.5 720 226.5 72 2 L
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72 72 222.11 720 R
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(7. French Foreign Legion.) 87.12 713.33 T
(Believe it or not, the list went ) 90 689.33 T
(downhill from there.) 72 677.33 T
(How disappointing. Maybe my ) 90 665.33 T
(work is not the most rigorous in the ) 72 653.33 T
-0.01 (world, but at least it tends to be origi-) 72 641.33 P
-0.61 (nal. I know my ideas sometimes seem ) 72 629.33 P
(rather far out, but they\325re certainly ) 72 617.33 T
(new) 72 605.33 T
(.) 88 605.33 T
(I remember when I took that ) 90 593.33 T
(Modern Art course as an under) 72 581.33 T
(gradu-) 195.88 581.33 T
-0.19 (ate. The instructor projected slides of ) 72 569.33 P
-0.49 (various odd-looking works of art on a ) 72 557.33 P
(screen, and invited discussion about ) 72 545.33 T
(them. One day she put a particularly ) 72 533.33 T
(wild Jackson Pollack up there, and it ) 72 521.33 T
(pushed me too far) 72 509.33 T
(. The painting con-) 143.34 509.33 T
-0.09 (sisted entirely of blotches of paint on ) 72 497.33 P
(a canvas, with no apparent pattern. I ) 72 485.33 T
(felt compelled to say something.) 72 473.33 T
(\322Now wait a minute,\323 I said. ) 90 461.33 T
(\322What\325) 72 449.33 T
(s so wonderful about that?\323 I ) 100.86 449.33 T
(pointed disdainfully at the screen.) 72 437.33 T
(\322It was new and dif) 90 425.33 T
(ferent,\323 she ) 168.09 425.33 T
(replied.) 72 413.33 T
-0.6 (\322Y) 90 401.33 P
-0.6 (ou mean that all I have to do to ) 100.65 401.33 P
(be a famous artist is to come up with ) 72 389.33 T
(new and dif) 72 377.33 T
(ferent things?\323) 119 377.33 T
-0.36 (\322It\325) 90 365.33 P
-0.36 (s not quite that simple, but, in ) 103.32 365.33 P
(ef) 72 353.33 T
(fect, yes. If you can be truly origi-) 79.59 353.33 T
-0.4 (nal, perhaps you could produce some-) 72 341.33 P
(thing of merit.\323) 72 329.33 T
(\322All right, then, try this. I\325m go-) 90 317.33 T
(ing to paint an absolute masterpiece ) 72 305.33 T
-0.41 (on a canvas and put it in a nice, wood-) 72 293.34 P
(en frame. The thing is, though, I\325m ) 72 281.34 T
-0.6 (going to hang it so that the picture fac-) 72 269.34 P
-0.16 (es the wall and nobody can see it. I\325ll ) 72 257.34 P
(call it \324Hidden Beauty\325 or something ) 72 245.34 T
(like that. What do you think?\323) 72 233.34 T
(\322W) 90 221.34 T
(ell...\323) 103.07 221.34 T
-0.64 (\322Next, I\325m going to suspend it by ) 90 209.34 P
(a thread from the ceiling, but in the ) 72 197.34 T
(middle of the back so that it faces ) 72 185.34 T
-0.68 (downward. Then I\325ll attach a motor to ) 72 173.34 P
(it so it spins back and forth. What do ) 72 161.34 T
(you think now?\323) 72 149.34 T
(\322Um...\323) 90 137.34 T
(\322Y) 90 125.34 T
(ou like that one? How about ) 100.65 125.34 T
(this? I\325m going to slice a triangular ) 72 113.34 T
(section out of one end and ar) 72 101.34 T
(gue that ) 187.29 101.34 T
(the missing piece gives the work a ) 72 89.34 T
-0.13 (sense of space. Then maybe I\325ll hang ) 72 77.34 P
230.94 72 381.05 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
(the section next to it. Maybe I\325ll just ) 230.94 713.33 T
(put the whole thing in a locked room ) 230.94 701.33 T
(and only let people see it through a ) 230.94 689.33 T
(mirror) 230.94 677.33 T
(. Am I an artist?\323) 255.93 677.33 T
(She shook her head sadly and ) 248.94 665.33 T
-0.01 (didn\325) 230.94 653.33 P
-0.01 (t reply) 251.86 653.33 P
-0.01 (. I wound up with a B-mi-) 277.02 653.33 P
(nus in the course. I never did \336gure ) 230.94 641.33 T
(out what made some modern art ) 230.94 629.33 T
(works worth a lot of money and oth-) 230.94 617.33 T
(ers garbage. I decided to stick with ) 230.94 605.33 T
-0.1 (physics, where you could usually tell ) 230.94 593.33 P
(the good from the bad.) 230.94 581.33 T
(This, unfortunately) 248.94 569.33 T
(, brought my ) 324.91 569.33 T
-0.52 (attention back to the problem at hand. ) 230.94 557.33 P
(All this daydreaming may have ) 230.94 545.33 T
-0.8 (helped, though, because I began to get ) 230.94 533.33 P
-0.28 (the barest glimmer of an idea. Maybe ) 230.94 521.33 P
-0.64 (the whole trick was to turn everything ) 230.94 509.33 P
-0.09 (around and look at it from a dif) 230.94 497.33 P
-0.09 (ferent ) 355.34 497.33 P
-0.1 (angle. I pondered the possibilities far ) 230.94 485.33 P
(into the night.) 230.94 473.33 T
(The next day) 248.94 449.33 T
(, I met Jeremy for ) 300.47 449.33 T
(lunch. He looked like he hadn\325) 230.94 437.33 T
(t slept ) 354.01 437.33 T
-0.05 (well either) 230.94 425.33 P
-0.05 (. He handed me the papers ) 272.81 425.33 P
(I had given him the day before.) 230.94 413.33 T
(\322I don\325) 248.94 401.33 T
(t know) 277.35 401.33 T
(,\323 he said. \322There ) 304.18 401.33 T
(are some interesting ideas here, but ) 230.94 389.33 T
-0.52 (not a lot of development. There really ) 230.94 377.33 P
-0.54 (isn\325) 230.94 365.33 P
-0.54 (t enough here to get a thesis out of ) 245.75 365.33 P
(it.\323) 230.94 353.33 T
-0.35 (I smiled at him. \322Fear not, I have ) 248.94 341.33 P
(been inspired. W) 230.94 329.33 T
(ith some help from ) 298.55 329.33 T
(you, my dear fellow) 230.94 317.33 T
(, we are well on ) 310.79 317.33 T
(the way to becoming famous beyond ) 230.94 305.33 T
(your wildest dreams.\323) 230.94 293.34 T
(\322What are we going to do, rob a ) 248.94 281.34 T
(bank?\323) 230.94 269.34 T
(\322Oh, thee of little faith. Y) 248.94 257.34 T
(ou ) 350.93 257.34 T
(know my hypotheses about negative ) 230.94 245.34 T
(mass and negative probabilities?\323) 230.94 233.34 T
(\322Sure. Cute ideas, but I can\325) 248.94 221.34 T
(t ) 361.73 221.34 T
(imagine anything productive coming ) 230.94 209.34 T
(out of them.\323) 230.94 197.34 T
-0.76 (\322The beauty of my plan is that we ) 248.94 185.34 P
(don\325) 230.94 173.34 T
(t have to. What we are going to ) 249.08 173.34 T
-0.01 (do is to propose the Madison-Abram-) 230.94 161.34 P
(son-Davis Conjecture.\323) 230.94 149.34 T
(\322The who?\323) 248.94 137.34 T
-0.12 (\322Look, all the truly famous prob-) 248.94 125.34 P
(lems in mathematics are unsolved, ) 230.94 113.34 T
-0.38 (right? Some may even be unsolvable. ) 230.94 101.34 P
-0.35 (But it doesn\325) 230.94 89.34 P
-0.35 (t matter) 281.7 89.34 P
-0.35 (. Nobody ever re-) 311.61 89.34 P
(members the person who solves an ) 230.94 77.34 T
389.88 72 540 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
(unsolved problem, only the person ) 389.88 713.33 T
-0.35 (who came up with it in the \336rst place. ) 389.88 701.33 P
(Look at Fermat\325) 389.88 689.33 T
(s Last Theorem. ) 454.29 689.33 T
(Mathematicians have been trying to ) 389.88 677.33 T
-0.4 (prove or disprove it for three hundred ) 389.88 665.33 P
(years with no luck. Even if they do ) 389.88 653.33 T
(succeed, though, the guy everybody ) 389.88 641.33 T
-0.64 (will remember is Fermat. So I, Robert ) 389.88 629.33 P
-0.19 (Madison, and you, Jeremy Davis, are ) 389.88 617.33 P
(going to come up with a Great Ques-) 389.88 605.33 T
(tion.\323) 389.88 593.33 T
-0.18 (\322Sure we are. By the way) 407.88 581.33 P
-0.18 (, where ) 508.45 581.33 P
(does the Abramson part come in?\323) 389.88 569.33 T
-0.15 (\322Elementary) 407.88 557.33 P
-0.15 (, my dear Davis. No ) 457.75 557.33 P
-0.38 (doubt you have for) 389.88 545.33 P
-0.38 (gotten the name of ) 464.35 545.33 P
(my esteemed advisor) 389.88 533.33 T
(, the soon to be ) 473.87 533.33 T
(famous Professor Bartholomew S. ) 389.88 521.33 T
(Abramson.\323) 389.88 509.33 T
-0.22 (He laughed. \322Cute. Real cute. In-) 407.88 497.33 P
(cidentally) 389.88 485.33 T
(, why is my name last?\323) 428.65 485.33 T
-0.05 (\322Ah, sometimes my subtlety sur-) 407.88 473.33 P
(prises even me. Can you think of a ) 389.88 461.33 T
-0.18 (better name for a kooky idea like this ) 389.88 449.33 P
(than the MAD Conjecture?\323) 389.88 437.33 T
(Jeremy grinned. The grin forced ) 407.88 425.33 T
(its way into a laugh, and then into a ) 389.88 413.33 T
(guf) 389.88 401.33 T
(faw) 403.03 401.33 T
(. It is extremely gratifying to ) 417.36 401.33 T
(watch skeptics come around to my ) 389.88 389.33 T
(way of thinking.) 389.88 377.33 T
(\322Now for the minor details,\323 I ) 407.88 365.33 T
-0.84 (continued. \322As wonderful as my work ) 389.88 353.33 P
(thus far has been, it needs to be pre-) 389.88 341.33 T
(sented in the proper manner for it to ) 389.88 329.33 T
-0.13 (yield the desired results. This is what ) 389.88 317.33 P
(I want you to do...\323) 389.88 305.33 T
-0.05 (During the next two weeks, I cir-) 407.88 281.34 P
(culated rumors around the various ) 389.88 269.34 T
-0.33 (funding agencies that my advisor had ) 389.88 257.34 P
(made a Nobel Prize-worthy discov-) 389.88 245.34 T
(ery) 389.88 233.34 T
(. I stated that he was reluctant to ) 402 233.34 T
(announce it yet because he hadn\325) 389.88 221.34 T
(t ) 522.09 221.34 T
-0.45 (worked out all the possibilities. I then ) 389.88 209.34 P
(called the science editor at the local ) 389.88 197.34 T
-0.67 (newspaper and gave him the story) 389.88 185.34 P
-0.67 (. He ) 522.18 185.34 P
(loved it. Most professors don\325) 389.88 173.34 T
(t have ) 509.91 173.34 T
(time for science journalism types; ) 389.88 161.34 T
-0.01 (they prefer to talk only to each other) 389.88 149.34 P
-0.01 (. ) 535.01 149.34 P
(Consequently) 389.88 137.34 T
(, the newspaperman ) 444.2 137.34 T
(was thrilled to be on the inside track ) 389.88 125.34 T
(of a potentially major discovery) 389.88 113.34 T
(.) 516.92 113.34 T
(I then called the governor) 407.88 101.34 T
(\325) 510.95 101.34 T
(s of-) 513.73 101.34 T
-0.4 (\336ce. \324If you\325re going to be audacious, ) 389.88 89.34 P
(you might as well go all out,\325 is my ) 389.88 77.34 T
FMENDPAGE
%%EndPage: "3" 5
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612 792 0 FMBEGINPAGE
0 0 612 792 C
0 0 612 792 R
7 X
0 K
V
0 F
0 X
(Kenneth A. Kousen) 72 48.67 T
(/) 140.86 48.67 T
1 F
(Piled Higher and Deeper) 147.08 48.67 T
0 F
(page 4) 518.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
385.5 720 385.5 72 2 L
0.5 H
2 Z
4 X
N
226.5 720 226.5 72 2 L
N
72 72 222.11 720 R
7 X
V
9 F
0 X
-0.92 (philosophy) 72 713.33 P
-0.92 (. I eventually was placed in ) 115.78 713.33 P
-0.52 (touch with the state representative for ) 72 701.33 P
-0.1 (public relations in education. When I ) 72 689.33 P
(told him the story) 72 677.33 T
(, he ate it up. Noth-) 142.15 677.33 T
(ing like a little state xenophobia to ) 72 665.33 T
(make people not worry about facts. ) 72 653.33 T
(All he could talk about was how this ) 72 641.33 T
(re\337ected well upon the governor) 72 629.33 T
(, the ) 201.5 629.33 T
(state, the university) 72 617.33 T
(, and my advisor) 149.36 617.33 T
(, ) 215.58 617.33 T
(probably in that order) 72 605.33 T
(.) 158.33 605.33 T
-0.77 (My favorite call, however) 90 593.33 P
-0.77 (, was to ) 191.1 593.33 P
-0.2 (the fund-raising of) 72 581.33 P
-0.2 (\336ce at the universi-) 145.82 581.33 P
(ty) 72 569.33 T
(. Here, the operating principle is ) 79.13 569.33 T
(greed. They love anything they can ) 72 557.33 T
-0.5 (\337aunt to potential donors. I spoke to a ) 72 545.33 P
(Ms. W) 72 533.33 T
(eston, Senior Executive Assis-) 98.4 533.33 T
(tant to the Dean for Industrial and ) 72 521.33 T
(Alumni Relations.) 72 509.33 T
-0.56 (\322W) 90 497.33 P
-0.56 (e\325re so glad,\323 she said, \322to see ) 103.07 497.33 P
-0.01 (our junior faculty producing such im-) 72 485.33 P
(portant work.\323 She always used the ) 72 473.33 T
-0.81 (royal plural. \322W) 72 461.33 P
-0.81 (e simply must see to it ) 134.8 461.33 P
-0.56 (that Professor Abramson receives our ) 72 449.33 P
(fullest support and appreciation. ) 72 437.33 T
-0.39 (W) 72 425.33 P
-0.39 (ould you please, for the good of the ) 80.64 425.33 P
-0.78 (University) 72 413.33 P
-0.78 (, of course, persuade him to ) 113.55 413.33 P
(release his results as soon as possi-) 72 401.33 T
(ble?\323) 72 389.33 T
(I promised to try) 90 377.33 T
(.) 156.25 377.33 T
-0.77 (Meanwhile, Jeremy was working ) 90 365.33 P
(on graphics. There\325) 72 353.33 T
(s nothing like ) 149.44 353.33 T
(multicolored diagrams and videos to ) 72 341.33 T
-0.68 (dazzle the uninformed. Just look at all ) 72 329.33 P
(the computer manufacturers that ) 72 317.33 T
(show bar graphs on TV) 72 305.33 T
(. Honestly) 164.53 305.33 T
(, ) 204.97 305.33 T
(when was the last time you truly ) 72 293.34 T
(needed to use a bar graph.) 72 281.34 T
(Jeremy really came through. He ) 90 269.34 T
(made multicolored pie charts, con-) 72 257.34 T
(structed elaborate three-dimensional ) 72 245.34 T
-0.6 (models, and even managed to create a ) 72 233.34 P
(video tape of some complicated nu-) 72 221.34 T
(merical simulation. It looked beauti-) 72 209.34 T
(ful.) 72 197.34 T
-0.54 (Finally) 90 185.34 P
-0.54 (, everything was ready for ) 117.68 185.34 P
-0.83 (the big day) 72 173.34 P
-0.83 (. I triumphantly entered my ) 114.11 173.34 P
-0.23 (adviser) 72 161.34 P
-0.23 (\325) 101.23 161.34 P
-0.23 (s of) 104.01 161.34 P
-0.23 (\336ce, just before my list of ) 118.31 161.34 P
(callers was scheduled to arrive. Pro-) 72 149.34 T
(fessor Abramson motioned for me to ) 72 137.34 T
-0.26 (take a chair until he got of) 72 125.34 P
-0.26 (f the phone.) 175.17 125.34 P
(\322No,\323 he was saying, \322I\325m not ) 90 113.34 T
(ready to publish my results just yet. ) 72 101.34 T
-0.48 (Y) 72 89.34 P
-0.48 (es, yes, I\325ll let you know when I am. ) 78.22 89.34 P
(Y) 72 77.34 T
(ou\325re welcome. Good bye.\323 He ) 78.22 77.34 T
230.94 72 381.05 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
(hung up the phone and turned to me.) 230.94 713.33 T
(\322Strangest thing,\323 he said. \322All ) 248.94 701.33 T
(week long I\325ve been getting the odd-) 230.94 689.33 T
(est inquiries about some supposed ) 230.94 677.33 T
-0.06 (\324Big Question\325 they say I\325m working ) 230.94 665.33 P
(on. Can\325) 230.94 653.33 T
(t imagine what they\325re talk-) 265.18 653.33 T
(ing about. No matter) 230.94 641.33 T
(, they\325re all daft ) 313.27 641.33 T
-0.76 (anyway) 230.94 629.33 P
-0.76 (. Now) 261.38 629.33 P
-0.76 (, Mr) 284.39 629.33 P
-0.76 (. Madison, have you ) 300.28 629.33 P
(a thesis to present to me today?\323) 230.94 617.33 T
(\322Sir) 248.94 605.33 T
(, with my associate, Jeremy ) 264.64 605.33 T
(Davis, I have prepared a paper I be-) 230.94 593.33 T
(lieve you will \336nd quite interesting.\323) 230.94 581.33 T
(I handed him a copy of \322The ) 248.94 569.33 T
(Madison-Abramson-Davis Conjec-) 230.94 557.33 T
(ture and Its Revolutionary Impact on ) 230.94 545.33 T
-0.74 (Modern Physics.\323 His expression was ) 230.94 533.33 P
-0.24 (priceless. He couldn\325) 230.94 521.33 P
-0.24 (t decided wheth-) 314.93 521.33 P
(er to be astonished or furious, and ) 230.94 509.33 T
(tried to do both. Fortunately) 230.94 497.33 T
(, at this ) 342.73 497.33 T
(point the \336rst visitor arrived.) 230.94 485.33 T
-0.97 (\322Professor Abramson, I presume. ) 248.94 473.33 P
(I\325m Dick Jor) 230.94 461.33 T
(gens from the Daily ) 281.83 461.33 T
(Press. Y) 230.94 449.33 T
(our student here tells me ) 263.25 449.33 T
(you\325re on to something big.\323) 230.94 437.33 T
-0.51 (My advisor turned to him, but be-) 248.94 425.33 P
(fore he could respond, in walked the ) 230.94 413.33 T
(Honorable W) 230.94 401.33 T
(illiam H. W) 284.66 401.33 T
(yeth, State ) 331.54 401.33 T
(Senator and Head of the Governor) 230.94 389.33 T
(\325) 368.7 389.33 T
(s ) 371.48 389.33 T
-0.33 (Commission on Science and T) 230.94 377.33 P
-0.33 (echnol-) 351.08 377.33 P
(ogy) 230.94 365.33 T
(. He didn\325) 245.28 365.33 T
(t introduce himself. He ) 285.35 365.33 T
(just assumed everyone knew him, ) 230.94 353.33 T
(which was probably correct.) 230.94 341.33 T
-0.28 (\322Nice to see you again, Bart,\323 he ) 248.94 329.33 P
(said. Nobody ever calls my advisor ) 230.94 317.33 T
(Bart, but what the heck, I was going ) 230.94 305.33 T
(with the \337ow) 230.94 293.34 T
(. \322I hear you\325re up to ) 283.04 293.34 T
-0.04 (something that will make the gover-) 230.94 281.34 P
(nor proud.\323) 230.94 269.34 T
0 (Right on schedule, Jeremy came ) 248.94 257.34 P
(in, with an armful of materials and ) 230.94 245.34 T
(equipment. He and I started handing ) 230.94 233.34 T
-0.86 (out copies of our paper) 230.94 221.34 P
-0.86 (, complete with ) 319.24 221.34 P
-0.01 (multicolored graphs, etcetera, and he ) 230.94 209.34 P
-0.46 (then hooked up a video monitor and a ) 230.94 197.34 P
(slide projector) 230.94 185.34 T
(. Everybody started ) 287.85 185.34 T
(talking at once.) 230.94 173.34 T
(Now that it looked like some-) 248.94 161.34 T
(thing really important was going on, ) 230.94 149.34 T
-0.25 (in walked the Dean for Industrial and ) 230.94 137.34 P
-0.9 (Alumni Relations, Randolph Murphy) 230.94 125.34 P
-0.9 (, ) 376.96 125.34 P
(and the Dean of the School of Sci-) 230.94 113.34 T
(ence, Chong-Liu Mei. An assistant ) 230.94 101.34 T
(professor) 230.94 89.34 T
(\325) 268.5 89.34 T
(s of) 271.28 89.34 T
(\336ce is not lar) 285.81 89.34 T
(ge, so this ) 337.54 89.34 T
-0.36 (made quite a crowd. I called for atten-) 230.94 77.34 P
389.88 72 540 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
(tion.) 389.88 713.33 T
-0.89 (\322Honored guests, members of the ) 407.88 701.33 P
(press, distinguished gentlemen, I ) 389.88 689.33 T
(bring you greetings. Y) 389.88 677.33 T
(ou are witness-) 478.83 677.33 T
(ing an historic occasion. Professor ) 389.88 665.33 T
(Abramson, my esteemed advisor) 389.88 653.33 T
(, ) 520.5 653.33 T
(tends to be overly modest about His ) 389.88 641.33 T
(work, so I am now taking the liberty ) 389.88 629.33 T
(of informing you about His latest re-) 389.88 617.33 T
(sults. If I may have the \336rst slide, ) 389.88 605.33 T
(please...\323) 389.88 593.33 T
-0.62 (I talked for about an hour) 407.88 581.33 P
-0.62 (. I said a ) 506.11 581.33 P
(great many things, some of which ) 389.88 569.33 T
(might even have been signi\336cant. I ) 389.88 557.33 T
(wasn\325) 389.88 545.33 T
(t worried, though. When you ) 413.57 545.33 T
(are dealing with an audience of non-) 389.88 533.33 T
(specialists, it\325) 389.88 521.33 T
(s easy to get them to ig-) 444.3 521.33 T
(nore your words in favor of your pic-) 389.88 509.33 T
(tures.) 389.88 497.33 T
(\322... and so, in conclusion, let me ) 407.88 485.33 T
(say that negative probabilities and ) 389.88 473.33 T
-0.89 (negative mass could change our entire ) 389.88 461.33 P
-0.18 (conception of reality) 389.88 449.33 P
-0.18 (. Future work on ) 471.59 449.33 P
(solving the Madison-Abramson-) 389.88 437.33 T
(Davis Conjecture will undoubtedly ) 389.88 425.33 T
-0.06 (open up whole new continents of the-) 389.88 413.33 P
(ory) 389.88 401.33 T
(, and lead to many new and excit-) 402.56 401.33 T
(ing discoveries for the bene\336t of ) 389.88 389.33 T
-0.19 (mankind. Thank you for your kind at-) 389.88 377.33 P
(tention.\323) 389.88 365.33 T
-0.05 (Dean Murphy was \336rst to speak. ) 407.88 353.33 P
(\322Thank you, son, that was quite im-) 389.88 341.33 T
(pressive, and no less than we expect ) 389.88 329.33 T
(from such a gifted young researcher) 389.88 317.33 T
(. ) 533.38 317.33 T
-0.29 (W) 389.88 305.33 P
-0.29 (e in the administration are proud of ) 398.52 305.33 P
-0.23 (the progress Professor Abramson has ) 389.88 293.34 P
(made, and consequently we would ) 389.88 281.34 T
(also like to make an announcement. ) 389.88 269.34 T
(In consultation with Dean Mei here, ) 389.88 257.34 T
-0.32 (we have arranged for an award of ear-) 389.88 245.34 P
(ly tenure to be given to Professor ) 389.88 233.34 T
-0.03 (Abramson, as a reward for his impor-) 389.88 221.34 P
(tant advances in his chosen \336eld. W) 389.88 209.34 T
(e ) 532.6 209.34 T
(are very pleased to have such a bril-) 389.88 197.34 T
-0.04 (liant young colleague, and look for-) 389.88 185.34 P
-0.06 (ward eagerly to his next discoveries.\323) 389.88 173.34 P
-0.86 (Beautiful. Couldn\325) 407.88 161.34 P
-0.86 (t have planned ) 481.8 161.34 P
-0.68 (it better myself. There\325) 389.88 149.34 P
-0.68 (s no better way ) 479.44 149.34 P
(to get a faculty member on your side ) 389.88 137.34 T
(than to help him get tenure.) 389.88 125.34 T
(I\325ll skip the subsequent discus-) 407.88 113.34 T
(sions, which primarily consisted of ) 389.88 101.34 T
(my advisor making polite denials ) 389.88 89.34 T
(about the importance of his work, ) 389.88 77.34 T
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(Kenneth A. Kousen) 72 48.67 T
(/) 140.86 48.67 T
1 F
(Piled Higher and Deeper) 147.08 48.67 T
0 F
(page 5) 518.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
385.5 720 385.5 72 2 L
0.5 H
2 Z
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(which were naturally taken as appro-) 72 713.33 T
(priate modesty) 72 701.33 T
(. Eventually) 130.48 701.33 T
(, all the ) 178.13 701.33 T
-0.29 (VIP\325) 72 689.33 P
-0.29 (s left, leaving me alone with Pro-) 90.88 689.33 P
-0.47 (fessor Abramson. The video tape was ) 72 677.33 P
(still playing in the background.) 72 665.33 T
(\322Congratulations, sir) 90 653.33 T
(,\323 I said. ) 172.88 653.33 T
(\322It\325) 72 641.33 T
(s no more than you deserve.\323) 85.32 641.33 T
(He wanted to be angry with me, ) 90 629.33 T
(but couldn\325) 72 617.33 T
(t. Getting tenure will do ) 117.63 617.33 T
(that to you.) 72 605.33 T
(\322Now look, you know very well ) 90 593.33 T
(that I didn\325) 72 581.33 T
(t come up with any \324revo-) 116.24 581.33 T
(lutionary hypothesis.\325 What happens ) 72 569.33 T
(when nothing ever comes out of any ) 72 557.33 T
(of this?\323) 72 545.33 T
(\322Not to worry) 90 533.33 T
(, sir) 145.42 533.33 T
(. Y) 159.86 533.33 T
(ou just tell ) 171.07 533.33 T
-0.43 (them that the problems are more com-) 72 521.33 P
(plex than you imagined, and that it ) 72 509.33 T
(could take years to see practical re-) 72 497.33 T
-0.49 (sults. Besides, what dif) 72 485.33 P
-0.49 (ference does it ) 162.8 485.33 P
(make? Y) 72 473.33 T
(ou are now a tenured profes-) 106.8 473.33 T
(sor) 72 461.33 T
(.\323) 83.66 461.33 T
(That did it. Finally) 90 449.33 T
(, even He had ) 164.32 449.33 T
(to laugh. \322All right, you win. Con-) 72 437.33 T
(gratulations, ) 72 425.33 T
10 F
(Dr) 124.19 425.33 T
9 F
(. Madison.\323) 134.75 425.33 T
-0.2 (One \336nal note. T) 90 401.33 P
-0.2 (wo years later) 156.43 401.33 P
-0.2 (, I ) 211.69 401.33 P
-0.06 (visited Jeremy in his of) 72 389.33 P
-0.06 (\336ce at Rocket ) 164.84 389.33 P
(Propulsion Associates, where he ) 72 377.33 T
230.94 369 381.05 720 R
7 X
V
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(worked as a research physicist.) 230.94 713.33 T
(\322Bob!\323 he said, wringing my ) 248.94 701.33 T
(hand. \322Good to see you. What have ) 230.94 689.33 T
(you been doing with yourself?\323) 230.94 677.33 T
(\322My dear fellow) 248.94 665.33 T
(, you have the ) 314.35 665.33 T
(distinct honor of addressing this ) 230.94 653.33 T
-0.4 (year) 230.94 641.33 P
-0.4 (\325) 248.51 641.33 P
-0.4 (s winner of the Golden Squiggle ) 251.29 641.33 P
-0.16 (A) 230.94 629.33 P
-0.16 (ward for Original Concepts in Mod-) 237.24 629.33 P
(ern Art.\323) 230.94 617.33 T
(\322Y) 248.94 605.33 T
(ou became a modern artist? It ) 259.6 605.33 T
-0.15 (\336gures. Only you could \336nd a way to ) 230.94 593.33 P
(make a pretentious attitude and a cra-) 230.94 581.33 T
(zy imagination pay) 230.94 569.33 T
(.\323) 306.91 569.33 T
(\322Please, sir) 248.94 557.33 T
(, you wound me. I ) 293.51 557.33 T
(earned it. Don\325) 230.94 545.33 T
(t ar) 290.99 545.33 T
(gue with success.\323) 303.85 545.33 T
-0.01 (W) 248.94 533.33 P
-0.01 (e sat around, talking about old ) 257.58 533.33 P
(times and listening to his \050near\051 mint ) 230.94 521.33 T
(condition set of Pink Floyd original ) 230.94 509.33 T
(master recordings. Eventually) 230.94 497.33 T
(, the ) 349.93 497.33 T
(subject of Professor Abramson came ) 230.94 485.33 T
-0.59 (up. Since I had left the \336eld soon after ) 230.94 473.33 P
(receiving my degree, I wasn\325) 230.94 461.33 T
(t up on ) 347.05 461.33 T
(current events.) 230.94 449.33 T
(\322Then you haven\325) 248.94 437.33 T
(t heard?\323 Jere-) 320.92 437.33 T
(my asked.) 230.94 425.33 T
(\322Heard what?\323) 248.94 413.33 T
-0.2 (He dug up a recent copy of Phys-) 248.94 401.33 P
-0.65 (ics News, and opened it to a picture of ) 230.94 389.33 P
(my advisor) 230.94 377.33 T
(. He had just become the ) 275.09 377.33 T
389.88 423 540 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
(youngest ever recipient of the Nobel ) 389.88 713.33 T
(Prize in Physics. My jaw dropped.) 389.88 701.33 T
(Jeremy laughed. \322Apparently) 407.88 689.33 T
(, ) 524.64 689.33 T
-0.01 (there really was something to all that ) 389.88 677.33 P
-0.2 (stuf) 389.88 665.33 P
-0.2 (f about negative probabilities and ) 404.7 665.33 P
(negative mass. Professor Abramson ) 389.88 653.33 T
-0.88 (managed to tie a theory for antigravity ) 389.88 641.33 P
(to it. They\325re talking about a multi-) 389.88 629.33 T
(billion dollar industry) 389.88 617.33 T
(.\323) 476.42 617.33 T
-0.28 (Hoist by my own petard! I recov-) 407.88 605.33 P
(ered quickly) 389.88 593.33 T
(, though.) 438.92 593.33 T
(\322Nonsense,\323 I replied. \322Not ) 407.88 581.33 T
(\324they) 389.88 569.33 T
(.\325 W) 409.77 569.33 T
(e.\323) 426.73 569.33 T
-0.06 (\322W) 407.88 557.33 P
-0.06 (e? What do you mean, \324we\325?\323) 420.96 557.33 P
(Here we go again.) 407.88 545.33 T
389.88 369 540 504 R
7 X
V
10 F
0 X
0.69 (Ken Kousen is an associate r) 389.88 497.33 P
0.69 (esear) 509.29 497.33 P
0.69 (ch) 530.57 497.33 P
0.98 (engineer at United T) 389.88 485.33 P
0.98 (echnologies Re-) 474.9 485.33 P
1.39 (sear) 389.88 473.33 P
1.39 (ch Center in East Hartfor) 406.72 473.33 P
1.39 (d, CT) 514.63 473.33 P
1.39 (,) 537.5 473.33 P
3.75 (wher) 389.88 461.33 P
3.75 (e he works on computational) 409.5 461.33 P
2.09 (models for the aer) 389.88 449.33 P
2.09 (odynamics inside) 468.79 449.33 P
1.5 (turbomachines. This story was writ-) 389.88 437.33 P
0.41 (ten while he was completing his doc-) 389.88 425.33 P
1.78 (toral thesis at Princeton University) 389.88 413.33 P
1.78 (,) 537.5 413.33 P
0.22 (which he admits \322was \336nished by the) 389.88 401.33 P
2.62 (traditional method, rather than the) 389.88 389.33 P
(one used in the story) 389.88 377.33 T
(.\323) 472.05 377.33 T
513 522 540 540 9 RR
V
N
8 F
7 X
1 K
(A) 520.5 525.86 T
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(Heidi G. W) 72 48.67 T
(olfson) 110.43 48.67 T
(/) 132.87 48.67 T
1 F
(Uncle Itchy) 139.09 48.67 T
0 F
(page 6) 518.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
385.5 659.3 385.5 72 2 L
0.5 H
2 Z
4 X
N
226.27 659.3 226.48 72 2 L
N
385.1 670 72 670 2 L
3 H
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72 72 222.12 659.3 R
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9 F
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(Uncle Itchy was the one who ) 90 652.64 T
-0.32 (gently shook my sister and me awake ) 72 640.64 P
-0.72 (to announce the arrival of the family\325) 72 628.64 P
-0.72 (s ) 216.45 628.64 P
-0.32 (\336rst baby boy) 72 616.64 P
-0.32 (. T) 125.67 616.64 P
-0.32 (o use the word gentle ) 135.75 616.64 P
-0.05 (in the same sentence with Uncle Itch-) 72 604.64 P
(y\325) 72 592.64 T
(s name is very unlikely) 79.77 592.64 T
(, yet \336tting. ) 171.84 592.64 T
(As a child, I would stare up at his an-) 72 580.64 T
-0.44 (chor tatoo, down at his shaking hands ) 72 568.64 P
-0.49 (and up again into his anxious, red and ) 72 556.64 P
(blue eyes. There was a gentle fright ) 72 544.64 T
(inside of Uncle Itchy that he pushed ) 72 532.64 T
(inside himself with Seagrams. It was ) 72 520.64 T
(apparent to me then, but dissolved ) 72 508.64 T
(from my sight over time. The only ) 72 496.64 T
(real fact that I knew about my Uncle ) 72 484.64 T
-0.83 (Itchy was that he had been in the navy) 72 472.64 P
-0.83 (. ) 217.95 472.64 P
(That was, for me, the whole of his ) 72 460.64 T
(identity) 72 448.64 T
(. He was my father) 101.89 448.64 T
(\325) 178.03 448.64 T
(s older ) 180.81 448.64 T
-0.5 (brother and I was a week shy of being ) 72 436.64 P
(\336ve on the night that my brother was ) 72 424.64 T
-0.05 (born, old enough to wonder what my ) 72 412.64 P
-0.6 (Uncle Itchy\325) 72 400.64 P
-0.6 (s job was and why he had ) 121.08 400.64 P
(no wife.) 72 388.64 T
-0.71 (\322It\325) 90 376.64 P
-0.71 (s a boy! Girls! Girls, you have ) 103.32 376.64 P
-0.52 (a brother) 72 364.64 P
-0.52 (.\323 They may be the most gen-) 106.72 364.64 P
(tle words my Uncle Itchy ever be-) 72 352.64 T
(stowed upon us or anyone; still, he ) 72 340.64 T
(was our favorite adult in my grand-) 72 328.64 T
(parent\325) 72 316.64 T
(s house. Uncle Itchy would ) 99.75 316.64 T
(make faces behind the backs of the ) 72 304.64 T
-0.48 (other grown-ups in the room and then ) 72 292.64 P
-0.57 (smile through his eyes at our giggling.) 72 280.64 P
(My mother called it immaturity) 90 268.64 T
(. ) 215.39 268.64 T
(My grandfather referred to it as lazi-) 72 256.64 T
(ness, often calling my Uncle Itchy a ) 72 244.64 T
-0.63 (schleper) 72 232.64 P
-0.63 (. Whatever it was, I liked it. It ) 104.75 232.64 P
(was the thing that prompted Uncle ) 72 220.64 T
-0.25 (Itchy to pay more attention to us than ) 72 208.64 P
-0.52 (our grandparents did. \322I\325ll trade you a ) 72 196.64 P
(quarter for your nose,\323 he would say) 72 184.64 T
(.) 217.62 184.64 T
(My grandparent\325) 90 172.64 T
(s house was the ) 156.89 172.64 T
(opposite of other places. There, the ) 72 160.64 T
(adults were noisy and the children ) 72 148.64 T
(were quiet. My Uncle Itchy and my ) 72 136.64 T
(father) 72 124.64 T
(\325) 95.67 124.64 T
(s sister) 98.45 124.64 T
(, Aunt Sheila, lived at ) 125.54 124.64 T
-0.04 (home. Aunt Sheila was getting mar-) 72 112.64 P
-0.03 (ried that year) 72 100.64 P
-0.03 (, and would soon be out ) 124.28 100.64 P
(of the house. It was not shameful for ) 72 88.64 T
(her to live at home. My Uncle Itchy ) 72 76.64 T
230.94 72 381.06 659.3 R
7 X
V
0 X
(was thirty-\336ve. He lived at home, ) 230.94 652.64 T
(walked boldly up and down the ave-) 230.94 640.64 T
(nue, and tip-toed around my grandfa-) 230.94 628.64 T
(ther) 230.94 616.64 T
(.) 245.93 616.64 T
(My grandfather had a booming ) 248.94 604.64 T
(voice and would criticize every one ) 230.94 592.64 T
-0.37 (around him. He was also riddled with ) 230.94 580.64 P
-0.93 (aches and pains. My grandmother was ) 230.94 568.64 P
(always fussing over my grandfather) 230.94 556.64 T
(, ) 373.76 556.64 T
-0.09 (making him food and coaxing him to ) 230.94 544.64 P
(eat it. I used to think of her as my ) 230.94 532.64 T
(grandfather) 230.94 520.64 T
(\325) 277.37 520.64 T
(s pet dog.) 280.15 520.64 T
(There was something about my ) 248.94 508.64 T
(grandparents\325 cedar smelling house ) 230.94 496.64 T
-0.39 (that made all adults who entered act a ) 230.94 484.64 P
(little bit like my grandfather) 230.94 472.64 T
(. There ) 343.1 472.64 T
-0.42 (was a mirrored wall along the stairs. I ) 230.94 460.64 P
(would watch myself walk up and ) 230.94 448.64 T
(down the stairs as an available form ) 230.94 436.64 T
(of amusement, and sing songs to my-) 230.94 424.64 T
(self to block out the voices. \322Lazy ) 230.94 412.64 T
(slob,\323 \322No good bum,\323 \322Schlemiel,\323 ) 230.94 400.64 T
(\322Faird,\323 \050which meant a big, stupid ) 230.94 388.64 T
-0.63 (horse\051 and so on, talking about no one ) 230.94 376.64 P
(in particular and everyone in the ) 230.94 364.64 T
(room. Uncle Itchy was often the sul-) 230.94 352.64 T
(len tar) 230.94 340.64 T
(get. I would watch him drift ) 256.01 340.64 T
(into the living room while the adults ) 230.94 328.64 T
-0.64 (were in the dining room playing cards ) 230.94 316.64 P
-0.1 (and exchanging insults. From the top ) 230.94 304.64 P
-0.5 (of the stairs I could see Uncle Itchy in ) 230.94 292.64 P
(the mirror) 230.94 280.64 T
(, opening the bottom door ) 270.79 280.64 T
(of the cabinet where the bottles and ) 230.94 268.64 T
(decks of cards were kept, screwing ) 230.94 256.64 T
(and unscrewing the cap of the ) 230.94 244.64 T
-0.56 (Seagrams and taking drinks out of the ) 230.94 232.64 P
(bottle while keeping sharp watch on ) 230.94 220.64 T
(the dining room. I wanted him to ) 230.94 208.64 T
(know that it was our secret. I would ) 230.94 196.64 T
-0.74 (stare at him through the mirror and try ) 230.94 184.64 P
(to send him that message through se-) 230.94 172.64 T
(cret brain waves.) 230.94 160.64 T
(The occasional nights that my ) 248.94 136.64 T
(sister and I would sleep over at my ) 230.94 124.64 T
-0.12 (grandparent\325) 230.94 112.64 P
-0.12 (s house were the longest ) 281.45 112.64 P
(days and nights that I can remember) 230.94 100.64 T
(. ) 375.28 100.64 T
(The neighborhood was quiet and felt ) 230.94 88.64 T
(desolate despite the old women that ) 230.94 76.64 T
389.88 72 540 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
-0.39 (would sit on their front patios in lawn ) 389.88 713.33 P
-0.73 (chairs. For play) 389.88 701.33 P
-0.73 (, my sister and I would ) 450.24 701.33 P
(walk around the block and \336ll paper ) 389.88 689.33 T
-0.01 (bags with acorns. W) 389.88 677.33 P
-0.01 (e were always in ) 470.66 677.33 P
(identical dresses and tight, patent-) 389.88 665.33 T
(leather shoes. W) 389.88 653.33 T
(e would smile at the ) 455.42 653.33 T
(old women. Sometimes they would ) 389.88 641.33 T
-0.12 (call us over and pinch our cheeks, ex-) 389.88 629.33 P
(claiming \322Shana Maedelachs!!\323 and ) 389.88 617.33 T
-0.03 (put candy in our acorn bags. W) 389.88 605.33 P
-0.03 (e cir-) 514.09 605.33 P
(cled and circled the same square ) 389.88 593.33 T
(block. W) 389.88 581.33 T
(e weren\325) 425.73 581.33 T
(t allowed to cross ) 460.23 581.33 T
(the street.) 389.88 569.33 T
(The day after my brother was ) 407.88 557.33 T
(born, Uncle Itchy promised to take ) 389.88 545.33 T
(me to the library) 389.88 533.33 T
(. W) 455.58 533.33 T
(e walked \336rst ) 469.21 533.33 T
-0.18 (down to the A) 389.88 521.33 P
-0.18 (venue, and Uncle Itchy ) 445.52 521.33 P
-0.6 (brought me a whole dill pickle, which ) 389.88 509.33 P
(he allowed me to hold in my hands ) 389.88 497.33 T
-0.35 (and eat as we walked. He never cared ) 389.88 485.33 P
-0.62 (if I got my dress dirty) 389.88 473.33 P
-0.62 (, and didn\325) 473.01 473.33 P
-0.62 (t keep ) 514.6 473.33 P
(after me with a napkin as the pickle ) 389.88 461.33 T
(juice dribbled down my chin. He ) 389.88 449.33 T
-0.89 (smoked cigars and said brisk \322Hellos\323 ) 389.88 437.33 P
(to people in his throaty voice. Uncle ) 389.88 425.33 T
(Itchy had a big nose and a black ) 389.88 413.33 T
(moustache. Black, curly hair circled ) 389.88 401.33 T
(the sides of his head; he was bald on ) 389.88 389.33 T
-0.19 (top. Now I know that he wasn\325) 389.88 377.33 P
-0.19 (t a par-) 512.08 377.33 P
(ticularly tall man, but, as we walked ) 389.88 365.33 T
-0.7 (down the avenue I remember likening ) 389.88 353.33 P
-0.36 (his sullen stare to a W) 389.88 341.33 P
-0.36 (ooden Indian in ) 475.84 341.33 P
-0.48 (the tobacco store and wondering if all ) 389.88 329.33 P
-0.57 (of the people we passed weren\325) 389.88 317.33 P
-0.57 (t just a ) 512.56 317.33 P
(little afraid of him.) 389.88 305.33 T
-0.44 (Uncle Itchy didn\325) 407.88 293.34 P
-0.44 (t make me hold ) 477.34 293.34 P
-0.22 (his hand as we walked, which next to ) 389.88 281.34 P
(my Grandmother) 389.88 269.34 T
(\325) 458.82 269.34 T
(s overprotection ) 461.6 269.34 T
(and grandfather) 389.88 257.34 T
(\325) 453.25 257.34 T
(s bossiness, was ) 456.03 257.34 T
(wonderful freedom. W) 389.88 245.34 T
(e paused for a ) 480.39 245.34 T
-0.47 (traf) 389.88 233.34 P
-0.47 (\336c light, and I darted against it out ) 403.58 233.34 P
(into the busy A) 389.88 221.34 T
(venue. When Uncle ) 450.5 221.34 T
(Itchy \336nally caught up with me, his ) 389.88 209.34 T
-0.32 (face had turned white and he grabbed ) 389.88 197.34 P
(me with both of his hands under my ) 389.88 185.34 T
(arm pits.) 389.88 173.34 T
(\322What\325) 407.88 161.34 T
(s a matter with you? Me-) 436.75 161.34 T
-0.42 (shugeneh! Didn\325) 389.88 149.34 P
-0.42 (t anybody ever teach ) 456.18 149.34 P
(you that red means stop and green ) 389.88 137.34 T
(means go?\323 He shook me violently ) 389.88 125.34 T
(and I dropped my pickle.) 389.88 113.34 T
-0.13 (\322Y) 407.88 101.34 P
-0.13 (eah, they did,\323 I defended as I ) 418.54 101.34 P
(sadly watched my pickle rock back ) 389.88 89.34 T
(and forth and then settle on the dirty ) 389.88 77.34 T
2 F
(\322Uncle Itchy\323) 72 712 T
3 F
(By Heidi G. W) 72 698.67 T
(olfson) 137.64 698.67 T
6 F
([email protected]) 72 685.67 T
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0 0 612 792 R
7 X
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(Heidi G. W) 72 48.67 T
(olfson) 110.43 48.67 T
(/) 132.87 48.67 T
1 F
(Uncle Itchy) 139.09 48.67 T
0 F
(page 7) 518.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
385.5 720 385.5 72 2 L
0.5 H
2 Z
4 X
N
226.5 720 226.5 72 2 L
N
72 72 222.11 720 R
7 X
V
9 F
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(sidewalk. \322But that\325) 72 713.33 T
(s for the cars. ) 151.68 713.33 T
(People are supposed to do the oppo-) 72 701.33 T
-0.67 (site of what the cars do so\325) 72 689.33 P
-0.67 (s they don\325) 174.6 689.33 P
-0.67 (t ) 217.5 689.33 P
(bump into each other) 72 677.33 T
(.\323) 156.11 677.33 T
(\322Lunatic, crazy person,\323 Uncle ) 90 665.33 T
(Itchy mumbled to himself and then ) 72 653.33 T
(held my wrist between his vice-like ) 72 641.33 T
(thumb and fore\336nger as we walked.) 72 629.33 T
0 (My brother and I were wrestling ) 90 605.33 P
-0.56 (on the carpet of the living room in our ) 72 593.33 P
-0.75 (own house, when Uncle Itchy showed ) 72 581.33 P
-0.21 (up with Aunt Mable. My brother was ) 72 569.33 P
(then \336ve, and I was old enough to ) 72 557.33 T
(know that Uncle Itchy had brought ) 72 545.33 T
(disgrace to the family by marrying ) 72 533.33 T
(this huge, red-haired gentile behind ) 72 521.33 T
(everybody\325) 72 509.33 T
(s back. My brother and I ) 116.96 509.33 T
(stopped wrestling when the screen ) 72 497.33 T
(door opened. Uncle Itchy was proud ) 72 485.33 T
(and de\336ant as he quickly led Aunt ) 72 473.33 T
-0.63 (Mable to the couch. I guessed that she ) 72 461.33 P
(had to sit down right away because ) 72 449.33 T
-0.58 (her legs couldn\325) 72 437.33 P
-0.58 (t hold her) 135.06 437.33 P
-0.58 (. My mother ) 171.66 437.33 P
(nervously shuf) 72 425.33 T
(\337ed into the living ) 130.95 425.33 T
(room with glasses and a pitcher of ) 72 413.33 T
(iced tea. My brother and I stared at ) 72 401.33 T
(Aunt Mable. My mother lightly ) 72 389.33 T
-0.49 (kicked my bum with her pointed shoe ) 72 377.33 P
(when Uncle Itchy and Aunt Mable ) 72 365.33 T
(weren\325) 72 353.33 T
(t looking.) 99.57 353.33 T
-0.83 (There were rolls of \337esh wagging ) 90 341.33 P
(beneath Aunt Mable\325) 72 329.33 T
(s chin and her ) 156.38 329.33 T
(arms were as wide as my mother) 72 317.33 T
(\325) 203.38 317.33 T
(s ) 206.16 317.33 T
-0.04 (whole body) 72 305.33 P
-0.04 (. She had bright red-or-) 118.22 305.33 P
(ange hair piled high on her head. I ) 72 293.34 T
(wondered how she got it so stif) 72 281.34 T
(f and ) 196.74 281.34 T
(shiny) 72 269.34 T
(. I thought that it was really a ) 93.01 269.34 T
(plastic wig and fought the desire to ) 72 257.34 T
(walk over and touch it. Aunt Mable ) 72 245.34 T
-0.51 (didn\325) 72 233.34 P
-0.51 (t say a word. She looked at all of ) 92.92 233.34 P
-0.64 (us with a blank expression and smiled ) 72 221.34 P
(lovingly at Uncle Itchy) 72 209.34 T
(. \322Oh, Itch,\323 ) 163.79 209.34 T
-0.01 (was all she said during the whole vis-) 72 197.34 P
(it, giggling and looking down at her ) 72 185.34 T
(own fat thighs. She seemed amused ) 72 173.34 T
-0.46 (by every word that came out of Uncle ) 72 161.34 P
(Itchy\325) 72 149.34 T
(s mouth. She even looked at ) 95.32 149.34 T
(him lovingly when he belched real ) 72 137.34 T
(loud, as he tended to do.) 72 125.34 T
-0.63 (That was the only time I ever met ) 90 113.34 P
-0.13 (Aunt Mable. After she and my Uncle ) 72 101.34 P
-0.5 (Itchy were married, he didn\325) 72 89.34 P
-0.5 (t come to ) 183.9 89.34 P
-0.75 (visit us very often, maybe once a year) 72 77.34 P
-0.75 (, ) 217.87 77.34 P
230.94 72 381.05 720 R
7 X
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(and when he did, he came alone.) 230.94 713.33 T
-0.28 (On Uncle Itchy\325) 248.94 689.33 P
-0.28 (s visits he would ) 312.77 689.33 P
(bring money and candy) 230.94 677.33 T
(. He never ) 324.39 677.33 T
(stayed in our house very long. My ) 230.94 665.33 T
(parents kept no booze in the house. ) 230.94 653.33 T
(On each of these visits, someone ) 230.94 641.33 T
(would ask Uncle Itchy where Aunt ) 230.94 629.33 T
(Mable was. \322She\325) 230.94 617.33 T
(s home,\323 was his ) 301.72 617.33 T
-0.73 (standard reply) 230.94 605.33 P
-0.73 (. Uncle Itchy\325) 286.46 605.33 P
-0.73 (s eyes and ) 339.67 605.33 P
(nose were becoming permanently ) 230.94 593.33 T
-0.37 (stained red. He would promise to buy ) 230.94 581.33 P
-0.38 (us cars and tell stories about all of the ) 230.94 569.33 P
(important people he knew and all of ) 230.94 557.33 T
(the money he had in the bank. At the ) 230.94 545.33 T
(time, Uncle Itchy was selling appli-) 230.94 533.33 T
-0.77 (ances at a downtown retail store. I had ) 230.94 521.33 P
-0.53 (heard that he and Aunt Mable lived in ) 230.94 509.33 P
(a dim, brown-paneled, one room ) 230.94 497.33 T
-0.19 (apartment, although I had never been ) 230.94 485.33 P
(there. My sister and I used to laugh ) 230.94 473.33 T
-0.15 (about him when he left, and then feel ) 230.94 461.33 P
(guilty for laughing as we each spent ) 230.94 449.33 T
(the \336ve dollars he had given us.) 230.94 437.33 T
-0.83 (\322Where do you think Aunt Mable ) 248.94 425.33 P
(really is?\323 My sister once asked me.) 230.94 413.33 T
(\322I don\325) 248.94 401.33 T
(t know) 277.35 401.33 T
(. Maybe he killed ) 304.18 401.33 T
(her) 230.94 389.33 T
(.\323) 243.16 389.33 T
(\322Do you think?\323) 248.94 377.33 T
(\322Y) 248.94 365.33 T
(eah. And he\325) 259.6 365.33 T
(s got her buried ) 310.39 365.33 T
(under the \337oor boards.\323) 230.94 353.33 T
-0.45 (\322Damn,\323 my sister said with wid-) 248.94 341.33 P
(ening eyes. \322He would have had to ) 230.94 329.33 T
(pull up the whole \337oor) 230.94 317.33 T
(.\323) 321.45 317.33 T
(W) 248.94 305.33 T
(e amused ourselves for hours, ) 257.58 305.33 T
(planning out Uncle Itchy\325) 230.94 293.34 T
(s strategies ) 333.38 293.34 T
(of murder) 230.94 281.34 T
(.) 270.08 281.34 T
(\322He pushed her face in a lemon ) 248.94 269.34 T
(meringue pie and held it there until ) 230.94 257.34 T
(she suf) 230.94 245.34 T
(focated,\323 my sister suggested.) 258.8 245.34 T
-0.74 (\322Y) 248.94 233.34 P
-0.74 (eah. And then he hung her on a ) 259.6 233.34 P
-0.11 (meat hook in the closet and did some ) 230.94 221.34 P
(process on her like dried beef so he ) 230.94 209.34 T
(could \336t her under the \337oor boards.\323) 230.94 197.34 T
(Five years went by) 248.94 173.34 T
(, in which I ) 324.07 173.34 T
-0.9 (didn\325) 230.94 161.34 P
-0.9 (t see my grandparents. My father ) 251.86 161.34 P
(didn\325) 230.94 149.34 T
(t talk to his parents. There was ) 251.86 149.34 T
(some blow-up in the family that ) 230.94 137.34 T
(evoked this grudge. I think it had ) 230.94 125.34 T
(something to do with a card game. I ) 230.94 113.34 T
(suspect that for most of my grandfa-) 230.94 101.34 T
-0.59 (ther) 230.94 89.34 P
-0.59 (\325) 246.85 89.34 P
-0.59 (s life, he didn\325) 249.63 89.34 P
-0.59 (t talk to his parents ) 305.43 89.34 P
(either) 230.94 77.34 T
(. When I \336nally did see my ) 253.15 77.34 T
389.88 72 540 720 R
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-0.38 (grandfather again, it was at my grand-) 389.88 713.33 P
(mother) 389.88 701.33 T
(\325) 418.57 701.33 T
(s funeral.) 421.35 701.33 T
-0.66 (Before the service, the cof) 407.88 689.33 P
-0.66 (\336n was ) 510.23 689.33 P
-0.06 (opened for the immediate family and ) 389.88 677.33 P
(the grandchildren. My grandmother ) 389.88 665.33 T
(was the \336rst dead person I had ever ) 389.88 653.33 T
-0.21 (seen. I remember thinking that at any ) 389.88 641.33 P
(moment, my grandmother would sit ) 389.88 629.33 T
(up in her cof) 389.88 617.33 T
(\336n. My Aunt Sheila and ) 440.5 617.33 T
-0.13 (my sister were crying. My sister held ) 389.88 605.33 P
(my hand and reminded me of all the ) 389.88 593.33 T
(times that my grandmother sat us ) 389.88 581.33 T
-0.19 (down and her linoleum, kitchen table ) 389.88 569.33 P
(and plied us with potato-latkas and ) 389.88 557.33 T
(luxion-kuggle. I wanted to cry) 389.88 545.33 T
(, too. I ) 510.54 545.33 T
-0.89 (thought that everyone was looking me ) 389.88 533.33 P
(and thinking that I was a bad girl for ) 389.88 521.33 T
-0.76 (not crying for my dead grandmother) 389.88 509.33 P
-0.76 (. I ) 530.7 509.33 P
(turned away from my sister) 389.88 497.33 T
(, and ) 499.4 497.33 T
(looked over at Uncle Itchy) 389.88 485.33 T
(. He was ) 495.82 485.33 T
-0.36 (red-eyed, silent, and nervously \336dget-) 389.88 473.33 P
(ing with his keys.) 389.88 461.33 T
(\322Where\325) 407.88 449.33 T
(s Mable?\323 Aunt Sheila ) 441.74 449.33 T
-0.24 (had asked Uncle Itchy during the Shi-) 389.88 437.33 P
(va.) 389.88 425.33 T
(\322Oh. She\325) 407.88 413.33 T
(s home,\323 Uncle Itchy ) 447.3 413.33 T
-0.34 (said quietly) 389.88 401.33 P
-0.34 (. My sister and I looked at ) 435.26 401.33 P
(each other and suppressed our laugh-) 389.88 389.33 T
(ter) 389.88 377.33 T
(.) 399.88 377.33 T
-0.76 (Uncle Itchy was the \336rst to notice ) 407.88 353.33 P
(my breasts. I think he noticed them ) 389.88 341.33 T
-0.6 (before I did. I remember my face turn-) 389.88 329.33 P
(ing red as he commented.) 389.88 317.33 T
(\322Ooooh, looks like you\325re devel-) 407.88 305.33 T
(oping,\323 he said with his Uncle Itchy ) 389.88 293.34 T
(grin, red eyes and twitching mous-) 389.88 281.34 T
(tache lurking in my disgrace.) 389.88 269.34 T
-0.55 (\322Y) 407.88 257.34 P
-0.55 (eah.\323 I would run out the door) 418.54 257.34 P
-0.55 (, ) 535.56 257.34 P
(letting the screen door slam behind ) 389.88 245.34 T
(me, and head for the corner to drink ) 389.88 233.34 T
(beer with my friends. There was a re-) 389.88 221.34 T
(lief in being handed a cold can and ) 389.88 209.34 T
(pulling the tab back. I remember the ) 389.88 197.34 T
(beer tasting soapy and the chore of ) 389.88 185.34 T
-0.57 (getting it down. There was something ) 389.88 173.34 P
(in the beer) 389.88 161.34 T
(, however) 431.67 161.34 T
(, that pulled me ) 470.68 161.34 T
(far away from my family and Uncle ) 389.88 149.34 T
(Itchy\325) 389.88 137.34 T
(s shaking hands. The slow) 413.2 137.34 T
(, me-) 517.76 137.34 T
-0.61 (chanical clicking in my head replaced ) 389.88 125.34 P
-0.75 (all thoughts and violent emotions. My ) 389.88 113.34 P
-0.64 (friends and I laughed and spent nights ) 389.88 101.34 P
(trying to climb telephone poles or ) 389.88 89.34 T
(hang onto the back bumpers of mov-) 389.88 77.34 T
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(Heidi G. W) 72 48.67 T
(olfson) 110.43 48.67 T
(/) 132.87 48.67 T
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(Uncle Itchy) 139.09 48.67 T
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(page 8) 518.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
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(ing cars in the snow) 72 713.33 T
(.) 151.3 713.33 T
(Aunt Sheila told my sister that ) 90 689.33 T
(Aunt Mable was put in a mental hos-) 72 677.33 T
-0.04 (pital because they found her wander-) 72 665.33 P
-0.53 (ing naked down the crowded A) 72 653.33 P
-0.53 (venue. ) 193.78 653.33 P
(I tried to picture it for a moment and ) 72 641.33 T
-0.6 (then blocked the sight out of my mind ) 72 629.33 P
(and laughed.) 72 617.33 T
(\322I guess she\325) 90 605.33 T
(s alive, after all,\323 I ) 141.07 605.33 T
(said to my sister) 72 593.33 T
(.) 136.69 593.33 T
(This was my teenage years, ) 90 581.33 T
(drawing to a close. There was a feel-) 72 569.33 T
(ing of the world stretched out before ) 72 557.33 T
(me that the thought of a 300 pound, ) 72 545.33 T
-0.72 (naked Aunt Mable could do very little ) 72 533.33 P
-0.21 (to disturb. There was a world beyond ) 72 521.33 P
-0.64 (family to explore and I was beginning ) 72 509.33 P
(to get served in bars.) 72 497.33 T
(Once, in my early twenties, as ) 90 473.33 T
(my head was throbbing with hang-) 72 461.33 T
(over and I was calling out sick from ) 72 449.33 T
(work, I thought about Uncle Itchy) 72 437.33 T
(. It ) 207.37 437.33 T
(was the second time I had called in ) 72 425.33 T
-0.11 (sick that week and the sixth time that ) 72 413.33 P
(month. The memory of my grandfa-) 72 401.33 T
-0.03 (ther) 72 389.33 P
-0.03 (\325) 87.91 389.33 P
-0.03 (s voice, hurling insults and accu-) 90.69 389.33 P
(sations, disharmonized with the ) 72 377.33 T
-0.21 (pounding in my head. The exact look ) 72 365.33 P
(of Uncle Itchy\325) 72 353.33 T
(s watery eyes came ) 132.51 353.33 T
(back to haunt me, and then disap-) 72 341.33 T
(peared.) 72 329.33 T
(The phone call had come like a ) 90 305.33 T
-0.77 (wolf at the door on a particularly cold, ) 72 293.34 P
(January evening. I was sitting in the ) 72 281.34 T
(dark, in my downtown ef) 72 269.34 T
(\336ciency) 172.59 269.34 T
(, lis-) 203.58 269.34 T
(tening to traf) 72 257.34 T
(\336c and drinking brandy) 123.45 257.34 T
(. ) 216.35 257.34 T
230.94 243 381.05 720 R
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(The phone call was from my sister) 230.94 713.33 T
(. ) 368.63 713.33 T
-0.22 (Aunt Sheila had asked her to call me. ) 230.94 701.33 P
(My sister passed on to me all of the ) 230.94 689.33 T
(details that Aunt Sheila had passed ) 230.94 677.33 T
(onto her) 230.94 665.33 T
(.) 263.42 665.33 T
(Uncle Itchy\325) 248.94 653.33 T
(s friend had called ) 298.63 653.33 T
(Aunt Sheila to say that Uncle Itchy ) 230.94 641.33 T
(had not been to work in a month and ) 230.94 629.33 T
(that his phone was disconnected. ) 230.94 617.33 T
(Aunt Sheila went to his apartment, ) 230.94 605.33 T
(and when there was no answer at the ) 230.94 593.33 T
-0.06 (door) 230.94 581.33 P
-0.06 (, called the landlord to let her in. ) 248.86 581.33 P
-0.8 (In the apartment were my Aunt Mable ) 230.94 569.33 P
(and Uncle Itchy) 230.94 557.33 T
(, stretched out on the ) 294.13 557.33 T
-0.94 (\337oor) 230.94 545.33 P
-0.94 (. They were surrounded by empty ) 249.27 545.33 P
-0.61 (whiskey bottles and there were empty ) 230.94 533.33 P
(cardboard boxes in the corner that ) 230.94 521.33 T
(once held cases of Seagrams. Aunt ) 230.94 509.33 T
(Sheila said that the apartment was ) 230.94 497.33 T
-0.52 (overwhelming with the smell of urine ) 230.94 485.33 P
(and that the mattress and rug were ) 230.94 473.33 T
(covered with human defecation. The ) 230.94 461.33 T
(food in the refrigerator was unidenti-) 230.94 449.33 T
(\336able in its mold. Aunt Mable was ) 230.94 437.33 T
(dead, and had been for days. Uncle ) 230.94 425.33 T
-0.15 (Itchy was still alive, holding onto her) 230.94 413.33 P
-0.15 (.) 378.56 413.33 P
(It wasn\325) 248.94 401.33 T
(t until I got that phone ) 281.23 401.33 T
(call, that I realized that Uncle Itchy ) 230.94 389.33 T
-0.25 (had a friend. He had a friend at work. ) 230.94 377.33 P
(I wonder what they talked about. I ) 230.94 365.33 T
-0.48 (wonder what kind of friend my Uncle ) 230.94 353.33 P
(Itchy was.) 230.94 341.33 T
-0.19 (My sister was going to the hospi-) 248.94 329.33 P
(tal to see Uncle Itchy the next day) 230.94 317.33 T
(. ) 366.58 317.33 T
(She asked me if I was going. When I ) 230.94 305.33 T
(didn\325) 230.94 293.34 T
(t answer) 251.86 293.34 T
(, she insisted that if I ) 285.04 293.34 T
-0.36 (ever wanted to see Uncle Itchy again, ) 230.94 281.34 P
(this was my last chance.) 230.94 269.34 T
(I hung up the phone and stared ) 248.94 257.34 T
389.88 207 540 720 R
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-0.57 (into my snifter) 389.88 713.33 P
-0.57 (. I resolved that \324tomor-) 447.06 713.33 P
(row\325 I would stop drinking.) 389.88 701.33 T
-0.83 (Uncle Itchy\325) 407.88 677.33 P
-0.83 (s eyes were open and ) 456.74 677.33 P
-0.61 (moving with vague recognition as my ) 389.88 665.33 P
(brother and sister and I stood above ) 389.88 653.33 T
(him. His feet were sticking out from ) 389.88 641.33 T
(the bottom sheets. They were yellow ) 389.88 629.33 T
-0.57 (and scabby and three times as lar) 389.88 617.33 P
-0.57 (ge as ) 518.39 617.33 P
-0.05 (life. His face was yellow and bloated ) 389.88 605.33 P
(as well. The only things about him ) 389.88 593.33 T
-0.01 (that looked like Uncle Itchy were his ) 389.88 581.33 P
(blue, watery eyes and the anchor tat-) 389.88 569.33 T
(too on his arm. I suddenly wished I ) 389.88 557.33 T
(could talk to Uncle Itchy) 389.88 545.33 T
(. I wished I ) 488.61 545.33 T
-0.06 (could tell him something, anything. I ) 389.88 533.33 P
-0.84 (thought about saying \322I love you\323, but ) 389.88 521.33 P
(decided against it. I wasn\325) 389.88 509.33 T
(t sure my-) 494.35 509.33 T
-0.14 (self if it was true, and even if it were, ) 389.88 497.33 P
(he never would have believed me.) 389.88 485.33 T
(The shiva was at Aunt Sheila\325) 407.88 461.33 T
(s ) 527.53 461.33 T
(house. Everyone, except for my ) 389.88 449.33 T
(grandfather) 389.88 437.33 T
(, had fond stories to tell ) 435.55 437.33 T
(about Uncle Itchy) 389.88 425.33 T
(. The way that he ) 460.85 425.33 T
(died was never discussed. The talk ) 389.88 413.33 T
-0.27 (made me uneasy) 389.88 401.33 P
-0.27 (. I escaped the sound ) 455.31 401.33 P
(of the voices by going into the kitch-) 389.88 389.33 T
(en. On the counter was a bottle of ) 389.88 377.33 T
(Seagrams. I poured myself a drink, ) 389.88 365.33 T
-0.23 (glancing nervously over my shoulder ) 389.88 353.33 P
-0.08 (at the adults in the living room. I sud-) 389.88 341.33 P
(denly heard a child\325) 389.88 329.33 T
(s laughter) 468.99 329.33 T
(. I ) 507.58 329.33 T
-0.29 (looked down. Aunt Sheila\325) 389.88 317.33 P
-0.29 (s little boy ) 496.17 317.33 P
(was sitting under the kitchen table, ) 389.88 305.33 T
-0.12 (staring up at me. I winked at him as I ) 389.88 293.34 P
(lifted the glass to my lips.) 389.88 281.34 T
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(Bill Sklar) 72 48.67 T
(/) 106.66 48.67 T
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(Solace) 112.88 48.67 T
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(page 9) 518.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
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-0.8 (I sat in the lobby playing guitar) 90 652.64 P
-0.8 (. It ) 210.12 652.64 P
-0.42 (was my \322Flamenco\323 phase and music ) 72 640.64 P
(to me was often a form of \336re. I re-) 72 628.64 T
(member the feel of my \336ngers as my ) 72 616.64 T
(right hand struck the strings with a ) 72 604.64 T
-0.61 (syncopated pulse and my left climbed ) 72 592.64 P
-0.42 (up and down the fretboard with rhyth-) 72 580.64 P
(mic ferocity) 72 568.64 T
(. People sat near me, ) 119.92 568.64 T
(watching and listening, but I noticed ) 72 556.64 T
-0.27 (them only incidentally) 72 544.64 P
-0.27 (. My mind was ) 160.75 544.64 P
(occupied with the music.) 72 532.64 T
(John walked into the room. I ) 90 520.64 T
-0.56 (looked up. He grinned. He opened his ) 72 508.64 P
(trumpet case and started to warm up. ) 72 496.64 T
-0.74 (I continued to play) 72 484.64 P
-0.74 (, nervously looking ) 144.37 484.64 P
(forward to his participation. I went ) 72 472.64 T
(into an uncharacteristic scherzo \321 ) 72 460.64 T
(my thumb plucking a pizzicato bass ) 72 448.64 T
(while my index and middle \336ngers ) 72 436.64 T
-0.38 (played an arabic dance. Then without ) 72 424.64 P
(thought I moved back into my origi-) 72 412.64 T
-0.38 (nal theme. I was watching myself cre-) 72 400.64 P
(ate. My hands knew more than my ) 72 388.64 T
(brain what was to come next.) 72 376.64 T
-0.56 (John piped in with a soft \337urry of ) 90 364.64 P
(notes. I smiled and relaxed, letting ) 72 352.64 T
(him take the lead for awhile. My ) 72 340.64 T
-0.31 (strumming grew sparser) 72 328.64 P
-0.31 (, and his tone ) 167.57 328.64 P
-0.23 (grew fuller) 72 316.64 P
-0.23 (, painting the room a regal ) 115.5 316.64 P
-0.68 (rustic red. The rapport was better than ) 72 304.64 P
-0.2 (usual. John and I had played together ) 72 292.64 P
(for a long time, but it was rarely this ) 72 280.64 T
(good. My mind was cleared of extra-) 72 268.64 T
(neous thought as I grew more and ) 72 256.64 T
(more oblivious to the world around ) 72 244.64 T
-0.28 (me. The beat led me like nothing else ) 72 232.64 P
(could.) 72 220.64 T
-0.19 (John too was the music\325) 90 208.64 P
-0.19 (s willing ) 185.29 208.64 P
-0.77 (slave. He played a theme and I echoed ) 72 196.64 P
-0.56 (it back, giving it a slight variation and ) 72 184.64 P
(he returned the favor) 72 172.64 T
(. It felt so ) 154.98 172.64 T
(smooth, so lucid, as if nothing could ) 72 160.64 T
-0.49 (possibly go wrong. W) 72 148.64 P
-0.49 (e were one with ) 158.01 148.64 P
(the melody) 72 136.64 T
(, the harmony) 116.04 136.64 T
(, and for a ) 170.63 136.64 T
-0.38 (single moment, we were one together ) 72 124.64 P
(as well. Suddenly John dropped out, ) 72 112.64 T
(leaving me to face the music alone. ) 72 100.64 T
(The beat wavered a little and I felt ) 72 88.64 T
(suddenly lost.) 72 76.64 T
230.94 72 381.06 659.3 R
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(I looked at him, somewhat an-) 248.94 652.64 T
-0.05 (noyed. He grimaced as he moved the ) 230.94 640.64 P
(trumpet back to his lips and inhaled ) 230.94 628.64 T
(deeply) 230.94 616.64 T
(. Suddenly we were \337ying. Be-) 256.93 616.64 T
(fore I knew what was happening, ) 230.94 604.64 T
(John was at double tempo, and made ) 230.94 592.64 T
-0.21 (a deliberate ef) 230.94 580.64 P
-0.21 (fort to avoid every mel-) 286.95 580.64 P
-0.01 (ody I approached. I chased him, kept ) 230.94 568.64 P
(trying to pin his theme down, but ev-) 230.94 556.64 T
(ery moment I reached a connection, ) 230.94 544.64 T
-0.6 (he found a new tangent and moved on ) 230.94 532.64 P
(it as if he were racing with the wind.) 230.94 520.64 T
(\322Y) 248.94 508.64 T
(ou bastard!\323 I wanted to ) 259.59 508.64 T
(scream, \322It was going so damn well! ) 230.94 496.64 T
(Where the hell are you going now?\323 ) 230.94 484.64 T
(and yet his melodies mocked me, ) 230.94 472.64 T
(taunting \322catch me if you can.\323) 230.94 460.64 T
(My \336ngers were driven by ven-) 248.94 448.64 T
-0.65 (geance. I wanted to win that melody) 230.94 436.64 P
-0.65 (. I ) 371.54 436.64 P
(wanted to \336nd it and tie it down, so ) 230.94 424.64 T
(my \336ngers moved to match John\325) 230.94 412.64 T
(s ) 364.48 412.64 T
-0.88 (tempo. My tendons began to ache. My ) 230.94 400.64 P
-0.17 (\336ngers grew sore. I kept chasing. My ) 230.94 388.64 P
(hands began to sweat.) 230.94 376.64 T
(Resigned, I stopped, letting him ) 248.94 364.64 T
(carry the last moment of the song. It ) 230.94 352.64 T
(was his show now) 230.94 340.64 T
(, he would be the ) 303.3 340.64 T
-0.46 (one to move it through and follow the ) 230.94 328.64 P
-0.37 (action, though I was still fuming with ) 230.94 316.64 P
(anger for the way he had edged me ) 230.94 304.64 T
(out.) 230.94 292.64 T
(Upon stopping, however) 248.94 280.64 T
(, I was ) 347.08 280.64 T
-0.03 (able to sit back and listen. The tur-) 230.94 268.64 P
-0.53 (moil, I noticed, was hardly what I had ) 230.94 256.64 P
(felt it to be. This new view showed ) 230.94 244.64 T
(me something dif) 230.94 232.64 T
(ferent and I heard a ) 300.72 232.64 T
-0.6 (melody for the \336rst time from the ears ) 230.94 220.64 P
-0.34 (not of a performer but a listener) 230.94 208.64 P
-0.34 (. I felt ) 355.45 208.64 P
(ashamed \321 ashamed that I had tried ) 230.94 196.64 T
(to interfere with his theme, and ) 230.94 184.64 T
(ashamed that I had been angry with ) 230.94 172.64 T
(him for taking on his own song.) 230.94 160.64 T
(I carefully edged myself back ) 248.94 148.64 T
-0.23 (into the song. W) 230.94 136.64 P
-0.23 (e \336nished it as a duo, ) 295.53 136.64 P
(separate, yet joined \321 alone yet to-) 230.94 124.64 T
-0.1 (gether) 230.94 112.64 P
-0.1 (. John\325) 255.37 112.64 P
-0.1 (s cheeks above me blow ) 281.92 112.64 P
-0.84 (air through his golden horn. I caressed ) 230.94 100.64 P
-0.72 (his \337ourish with a cadential strum and ) 230.94 88.64 P
(the room exploded into a laudatory ) 230.94 76.64 T
389.88 72 540 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
(roar) 389.88 713.33 T
(. I looked at John, and he back at ) 405.43 713.33 T
(me. \322It\325) 389.88 701.33 T
(s time,\323 our eyes said to one ) 420.42 701.33 T
(another) 389.88 689.33 T
(, \322It\325) 419.46 689.33 T
(s time to move on.\323) 437.78 689.33 T
(I hugged him and kissed him on ) 407.88 677.33 T
(the cheek. He stroked my hair as the ) 389.88 665.33 T
-0.47 (crowd dispersed. It was over between ) 389.88 653.33 P
(us, we both knew) 389.88 641.33 T
(, but to let him go ) 459.19 641.33 T
(was so hard. The music was good, ) 389.88 629.33 T
-0.72 (sometimes great, but it wasn\325) 389.88 617.33 P
-0.72 (t enough ) 504.24 617.33 P
(simply to make beautiful music to-) 389.88 605.33 T
(gether) 389.88 593.33 T
(. My head ached for a second, ) 414.31 593.33 T
(resisting the moment I knew was ) 389.88 581.33 T
(about to come. He put his trumpet ) 389.88 569.33 T
(away) 389.88 557.33 T
(. I watched him move, wanting ) 410.32 557.33 T
-0.27 (to hold him next to me. I didn\325) 389.88 545.33 P
-0.27 (t touch ) 510.55 545.33 P
-0.4 (him again. I knew I couldn\325) 389.88 533.33 P
-0.4 (t handle it ) 498.73 533.33 P
-0.71 (if I did. From across the room I waved ) 389.88 521.33 P
(a warm good-bye, holding back my ) 389.88 509.33 T
(tears. As he left he blew me a kiss. I ) 389.88 497.33 T
(still feel it to this day) 389.88 485.33 T
(.) 473.92 485.33 T
-0.15 (I turned away) 407.88 473.33 P
-0.15 (, and picked up my ) 461.89 473.33 P
(guitar) 389.88 461.33 T
(. I started into a solace, but the ) 412.65 461.33 T
(notes didn\325) 389.88 449.33 T
(t come together) 434.4 449.33 T
(. I tried ) 496.03 449.33 T
(again, and still it didn\325) 389.88 437.33 T
(t feel right. I ) 479.93 437.33 T
(put the guitar down. I paused for a ) 389.88 425.33 T
(moment. \322Alone again,\323 I thought, ) 389.88 413.33 T
(and looked back at my instrument. I ) 389.88 401.33 T
-0.56 (paused again. \322But I\325ve still got you,\323 ) 389.88 389.33 P
(I added aloud.) 389.88 377.33 T
(I picked it up once again, and ) 407.88 365.33 T
(struck a gentle chord. I started into a ) 389.88 353.33 T
-0.05 (solace \321 it \337owed like never before. ) 389.88 341.33 P
(I could feel it working itself within ) 389.88 329.33 T
-0.17 (me, though it was painful. The music ) 389.88 317.33 P
(knew) 389.88 305.33 T
(, better than I, what had to be ) 410.88 305.33 T
(done. It hurt so much, trying to hold ) 389.88 293.34 T
-0.57 (onto those memories. \322Let go,\323 it told ) 389.88 281.34 P
(me. \322Let go.\323) 389.88 269.34 T
(My hands were becoming their ) 407.88 257.34 T
-0.1 (own masters again. I watched and lis-) 389.88 245.34 P
-0.06 (tened as they played with bittersweet ) 389.88 233.34 P
-0.75 (simplicity) 389.88 221.34 P
-0.75 (. I took a breath and exhaled ) 429.22 221.34 P
-0.19 (a sigh of relief. Alone we sat, me and ) 389.88 209.34 P
(my music, but we were no longer ) 389.88 197.34 T
(slaves to the sounds of another) 389.88 185.34 T
(. I fell ) 512.31 185.34 T
(into song. T) 389.88 173.34 T
(ears streamed down my ) 437.22 173.34 T
-0.18 (face and rather than hold them in this ) 389.88 161.34 P
(time, I let them stream. The song ) 389.88 149.34 T
-0.03 (\337owed in unison and I reached a har-) 389.88 137.34 P
-0.47 (mony with myself. W) 389.88 125.34 P
-0.47 (ith the tears still ) 475.25 125.34 P
-0.61 (\337owing, I laughed aloud, my joy com-) 389.88 113.34 P
(plementing my sorrow in a rubato ) 389.88 101.34 T
(rhythm of \336re and ice. My fear dissi-) 389.88 89.34 T
-0.13 (pated and my hope soared. \322Finally) 389.88 77.34 P
-0.13 (,\323 ) 530.7 77.34 P
2 F
(\322Solace\323) 72 712 T
3 F
(By Bill Sklar) 72 698.67 T
6 F
([email protected]) 72 685.67 T
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(Bill Sklar) 72 48.67 T
(/) 106.66 48.67 T
1 F
(Solace) 112.88 48.67 T
0 F
(page 10) 514.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
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0.5 H
2 Z
4 X
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7 X
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72 567 222.11 720 R
V
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(I thought. \322Finally I am alive.\323 I ) 72 713.33 T
-0.24 (strummed like mad and my voice bel-) 72 701.33 P
(lowed with joyous agony) 72 689.33 T
(. The pain ) 172.13 689.33 T
-0.04 (\337owed as I released it \321 the wounds ) 72 677.33 P
(bled, \322but oh so much better to feel ) 72 665.33 T
(this pain,\323 I thought, \322then to be de-) 72 653.33 T
-0.44 (nied the chance to embrace it.\323 Blood ) 72 641.33 P
(coursed through my veins and I was ) 72 629.33 T
-0.38 (aware of every last corpuscle \321 I felt ) 72 617.33 P
(the pulse inside me in tune with the ) 72 605.33 T
(rhythm of my music.) 72 593.33 T
(I allowed the melody to end it-) 90 581.33 T
230.94 567 381.05 720 R
7 X
V
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(self. My heart relaxed and I wiped ) 230.94 713.33 T
(away my tears as I put my guitar ) 230.94 701.33 T
(away) 230.94 689.33 T
(. \322It\325) 251.38 689.33 T
(s over) 269.7 689.33 T
(,\323 I thought aloud, ) 293.45 689.33 T
(half-smiling. \322T) 230.94 677.33 T
(ime to go home.\323) 295 677.33 T
10 F
0.18 (Bill Sklar is a musician with inter) 230.94 629.33 P
0.18 (ests) 366.06 629.33 P
3.3 (in \336lmmaking, photography) 230.94 617.33 P
3.3 (, \336ction) 347.77 617.33 P
-0.13 (writing, and sexuality issues. He feels) 230.94 605.33 P
0.44 (a driving for) 230.94 593.33 P
0.44 (ce to expr) 281.98 593.33 P
0.44 (ess himself ar-) 321.89 593.33 P
-0.61 (tistically as well as politically thr) 230.94 581.33 P
-0.61 (ough) 361.07 581.33 P
389.88 72 540 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
-0.06 (whatever means he \336nds appr) 389.88 713.33 P
-0.06 (opriate.) 508.63 713.33 P
1.48 (He is curr) 389.88 701.33 P
1.48 (ently working on a multi-) 433.01 701.33 P
1.67 (media pr) 389.88 689.33 P
1.67 (esentation of his photogra-) 426.99 689.33 P
0.26 (phy and music, with the possibility of) 389.88 677.33 P
1.7 (incorporating them into a play) 389.88 665.33 P
1.7 (. Bill) 518.86 665.33 P
0.84 (lives \322somewher) 389.88 653.33 P
0.84 (e in central W) 457.26 653.33 P
0.84 (iscon-) 515.57 653.33 P
-0.55 (sin,\323 wher) 389.88 641.33 P
-0.55 (e he spends countless hours) 431.17 641.33 P
3.7 (composing and r) 389.88 629.33 P
3.7 (ecor) 464.11 629.33 P
3.7 (ding his own) 481.5 629.33 P
3.38 (music for various combinations of) 389.88 617.33 P
3.18 (fr) 389.88 605.33 P
3.18 (etted instruments, keyboar) 396.18 605.33 P
3.18 (ds, and) 507.94 605.33 P
-0.55 (per) 389.88 593.33 P
-0.55 (cussion. This is his second appear-) 402.84 593.33 P
(ance in Athene.) 389.88 581.33 T
351 648 378 666 9 RR
V
N
8 F
7 X
1 K
(A) 358.5 651.87 T
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(Sonia Orin L) 72 48.67 T
(yris) 116.44 48.67 T
(/) 131.32 48.67 T
1 F
(Moonlight) 137.54 48.67 T
0 F
(page 1) 514.45 48.67 T
(1) 536 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
385.5 648.11 385.5 72 2 L
0.5 H
2 Z
4 X
N
226.5 648.21 226.5 72 2 L
N
385.1 656 72 656 2 L
3 H
3 X
N
72 72 222.11 648 R
7 X
V
9 F
0 X
(I cannot shake the desire to kill.) 90 641.33 T
-0.84 (W) 90 629.33 P
-0.84 (e have won. I have survived the ) 98.64 629.33 P
-0.13 (\336ght, and it feels very good. I know I ) 72 617.33 P
(have been cut but I cannot feel it be-) 72 605.33 T
-0.51 (cause I am still too full of battle lust. I ) 72 593.33 P
-0.05 (am still furious, and the passion rises ) 72 581.33 P
-0.96 (inside me, crashing, demanding more. ) 72 569.33 P
(I am still hungry) 72 557.33 T
(, but there are no ) 137.7 557.33 T
(more enemies.) 72 545.33 T
-0.78 (The sun is reddening, threatening ) 90 533.33 P
-0.59 (to leave the sky and I curse at it for de-) 72 521.33 P
-0.43 (priving me of light. The handle of my ) 72 509.33 P
-0.43 (sword is slick with sweat and blood. I ) 72 497.33 P
-0.01 (tighten my grip and swing at nothing.) 72 485.33 P
(There are bodies everywhere. ) 90 473.33 T
(Some are still moving and some will ) 72 461.33 T
(be fertilizer for the soil. I notice the ) 72 449.33 T
(sky) 72 437.33 T
(, the land, the smell of death, the ) 85.23 437.33 T
(sounds of pain. I walk towards the ) 72 425.33 T
-0.8 (rise, still swinging my sword, towards ) 72 413.33 P
-0.57 (the mountains that ring the valley that ) 72 401.33 P
-0.65 (we won today) 72 389.33 P
-0.65 (. This is fertile land, and ) 126.11 389.33 P
-0.69 (now that we have fed it with the blood ) 72 377.33 P
(of our enemies it will be even more ) 72 365.33 T
(fertile.) 72 353.33 T
(Our enemies. They resisted us ) 90 341.33 T
(and so we killed them. Their farms, ) 72 329.33 T
-0.85 (their mills, their animals, their wealth, ) 72 317.33 P
(are now our inheritance. I remember ) 72 305.33 T
(how they fought, not as warriors but ) 72 293.33 T
(as farmers, clumsy and slow) 72 281.33 T
(. It is ) 184.88 281.33 T
(what happens to a people who settle ) 72 269.34 T
(to become workers of the land and ) 72 257.34 T
(for) 72 245.34 T
(get the skills that made them mas-) 83.47 245.34 T
-0.56 (ters of men. This will never happen to ) 72 233.34 P
(us. I will teach my children as I was ) 72 221.34 T
(taught, I will see to it that they are al-) 72 209.34 T
(ways warriors \336rst and farmers sec-) 72 197.34 T
(ond.) 72 185.34 T
-0.12 (There are children in the piles of ) 90 173.34 P
(bodies. My kin collect more dead ) 72 161.34 T
-0.01 (even as the pile is lit on \336re. I should ) 72 149.34 P
(stay and help, but there is still too ) 72 137.34 T
(much of the battle in me.) 72 125.34 T
(I walk towards the mountains ) 90 113.34 T
(again. The land is steep, and I push ) 72 101.34 T
(myself to walk faster) 72 89.34 T
(, and it feels ) 155.7 89.34 T
(good.) 72 77.34 T
230.94 72 381.05 648 R
7 X
V
0 X
(The sky is dark in front of me. ) 248.94 641.33 T
(After a while I stop, breathing heavi-) 230.94 629.33 T
-0.39 (ly) 230.94 617.33 P
-0.39 (. I look out on the valley that is now ) 238.07 617.33 P
-0.08 (ours. The moon hangs on the edge of ) 230.94 605.33 P
(the sky) 230.94 593.33 T
(, as full as it can be, so bright ) 258.89 593.33 T
(the stars nearby have vanished. ) 230.94 581.33 T
(Smoke rises from the \336re below) 230.94 569.33 T
(, ) 358.26 569.33 T
(painting the moon dusty red.) 230.94 557.33 T
(The moon holds my gaze. The ) 248.94 545.33 T
-0.18 (sun is life, but the moon is a mystery) 230.94 533.33 P
-0.18 (, ) 376.24 533.33 P
-0.28 (and I do not know what it is good for) 230.94 521.33 P
-0.28 (. ) 376.34 521.33 P
-0.81 (It does not \336ght. It does not change us, ) 230.94 509.33 P
(it only changes itself, over and over ) 230.94 497.33 T
(again.) 230.94 485.33 T
-0.07 (I turn and walk again up into the ) 248.94 473.33 P
(darkness of the hills. Around me are ) 230.94 461.33 T
(trees, birds and the sounds of night.) 230.94 449.33 T
(The battle is over and I have ) 248.94 437.33 T
(killed and somehow it is not enough. ) 230.94 425.33 T
(I recall every hand that was raised ) 230.94 413.33 T
(against me today) 230.94 401.33 T
(, every cry) 298.02 401.33 T
(, every ) 339.83 401.33 T
-0.29 (death. It is important that I remember ) 230.94 389.33 P
(each death carefully) 230.94 377.33 T
(, for each one ) 310.77 377.33 T
(brings me life.) 230.94 365.33 T
(I look at the valley again, watch-) 248.94 353.33 T
(ing the \336res. My sword has grown ) 230.94 341.33 T
(heavier) 230.94 329.33 T
(, fed with blood. It feels alive ) 259.96 329.33 T
(in my hand, hot, fevered, and I am ) 230.94 317.33 T
(hot, too. The night air has begun to ) 230.94 305.33 T
(cool me, but I am still much too ) 230.94 293.33 T
(warm, and sweat gathers under my ) 230.94 281.33 T
(leather) 230.94 269.34 T
(.) 257.59 269.34 T
(I hear a step behind me. I have ) 248.94 257.34 T
(turned almost instantly) 230.94 245.34 T
(, my blade ) 321.91 245.34 T
(raised, ready) 230.94 233.34 T
(, hungry) 281.36 233.34 T
(, and the sound ) 314.02 233.34 T
(stops suddenly silent.) 230.94 221.34 T
(In the moonlight there is a girl. ) 248.94 209.34 T
(She looks almost a woman, but the ) 230.94 197.34 T
(moonlight washes her color and the ) 230.94 185.34 T
-0.62 (color of the rags she wears so I cannot ) 230.94 173.34 P
-0.22 (be sure. She is one of them, I know) 230.94 161.34 P
-0.22 (, a ) 369.56 161.34 P
(villager) 230.94 149.34 T
(, the enemy) 261.08 149.34 T
(. She must have ) 306.78 149.34 T
(run to the hills to escape the battle.) 230.94 137.34 T
(Her eyes are wide. She thought ) 248.94 125.34 T
(that I was one of her own, come to ) 230.94 113.34 T
(take her back to the valley) 230.94 101.34 T
(.) 335.48 101.34 T
(She backs away towards the ) 248.94 89.34 T
-0.63 (trees, but I have already caught her by ) 230.94 77.34 P
389.88 72 540 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
(her hair and arm. She cries, at me, at ) 389.88 713.33 T
-0.2 (the night, terror and anger) 389.88 701.33 P
-0.2 (, and I grab ) 492.78 701.33 P
(her and throw her to the ground.) 389.88 689.33 T
-0.25 (Now I sheath my sword. I do not ) 407.88 677.33 P
(need it for her) 389.88 665.33 T
(.) 445.67 665.33 T
(I straddle her on the ground, pin-) 407.88 653.33 T
-0.81 (ning her) 389.88 641.33 P
-0.81 (. She is small beneath me. She ) 421.56 641.33 P
-0.24 (pleads wordlessly for a few moments ) 389.88 629.33 P
(and I hit her to make her quiet. I tear ) 389.88 617.33 T
(the rags away from her chest and ) 389.88 605.33 T
(stomach. She is slender) 389.88 593.33 T
(, just at the ) 483.31 593.33 T
-0.63 (\336rst change of life, and she squirms to ) 389.88 581.33 P
(get away) 389.88 569.33 T
(.) 425.04 569.33 T
-0.59 (I take out my knife. She cries and ) 407.88 557.33 P
(I hit her again. Her hair fans out ) 389.88 545.33 T
(around her head on the ground and I ) 389.88 533.33 T
-0.77 (take a handful, tilting her head back to ) 389.88 521.33 P
-0.84 (expose her neck. I hold my knife close ) 389.88 509.33 P
-0.01 (and I think about where I want to cut ) 389.88 497.33 P
(\336rst.) 389.88 485.33 T
(Suddenly she goes limp under ) 407.88 473.33 T
(me. I look at her face, thinking that ) 389.88 461.33 T
-0.08 (she has fainted, and I see her looking ) 389.88 449.33 P
(back at me. I hold the knife against ) 389.88 437.33 T
(her neck a moment, and cut a bit to ) 389.88 425.33 T
-0.35 (draw blood. She closes her eyes and I ) 389.88 413.33 P
(watch the trickle of blood run down ) 389.88 401.33 T
(her neck.) 389.88 389.33 T
-0.55 (Her eyes are open again. There is ) 407.88 377.33 P
-0.33 (a look on her face, and it is not one of ) 389.88 365.33 P
-0.47 (fear) 389.88 353.33 P
-0.47 (. She is going to her death and she ) 404.87 353.33 P
-0.48 (is not afraid and this makes me angry) 389.88 341.33 P
-0.48 (. ) 535.48 341.33 P
(I hit her across the face with my \336st, ) 389.88 329.33 T
(with the handle of my knife, and she ) 389.88 317.33 T
-0.41 (exhales as her head turns. I dig the tip ) 389.88 305.33 P
-0.31 (of my knife into her chin and turn her ) 389.88 293.34 P
-0.43 (head to me to look at me, to see in her ) 389.88 281.34 P
(eyes if she is afraid yet.) 389.88 269.34 T
(She is not. I grab her breast and ) 407.88 257.34 T
(slowly I dig my nails into her chest, ) 389.88 245.34 T
-0.76 (raking lines across her skin. She looks ) 389.88 233.34 P
(past me, into the night sky) 389.88 221.34 T
(. I search ) 494.74 221.34 T
(her face again for fear) 389.88 209.34 T
(, for any reac-) 477.72 209.34 T
(tion. The moonlight makes her face ) 389.88 197.34 T
(very pale. She might be dead already) 389.88 185.34 T
(.) 537.17 185.34 T
(I decide that it is time to \336nish ) 407.88 173.34 T
-0.39 (this. I place my knife against her ribs, ) 389.88 161.34 P
(angling to slide the blade through, ) 389.88 149.34 T
-0.13 (into her heart, but I do not. She looks ) 389.88 137.34 P
(at me now and I do not look away) 389.88 125.34 T
(.) 525.25 125.34 T
-0.28 (I know I must kill her) 407.88 113.34 P
-0.28 (. W) 492.8 113.34 P
-0.28 (e do not ) 506.15 113.34 P
(take prisoners and she is enemy) 389.88 101.34 T
(. But ) 516.09 101.34 T
(there is something in her eyes that I ) 389.88 89.34 T
(have never seen before. For a long ) 389.88 77.34 T
72 666 378 720 R
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V
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(\322Moonlight\323) 72 712 T
3 F
(By Sonia Orin L) 72 698.67 T
(yris) 144.33 698.67 T
6 F
([email protected]) 72 685.67 T
3 F
(Copyright \251 1989 Sonia Orin L) 72 672.67 T
(yris) 211.89 672.67 T
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(Sonia Orin L) 72 48.67 T
(yris) 116.44 48.67 T
(/) 131.32 48.67 T
1 F
(Moonlight) 137.54 48.67 T
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(page 12) 514.01 48.67 T
(V) 72 741.67 T
(olume II, Issue 2) 77.04 741.67 T
(Mar) 499.06 741.67 T
(ch 1990) 514.01 741.67 T
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(moment I do not move.) 72 713.33 T
(She waits, and I wonder what to ) 90 701.33 T
(do. This is not right. She should be ) 72 689.33 T
(afraid. She should resist. She should ) 72 677.33 T
(\336ght me, \336ght death. It is right and ) 72 665.33 T
(good to \336ght death.) 72 653.33 T
-0.22 (I growl and I grab her neck and I ) 90 641.33 P
(shake her) 72 629.33 T
(. She winces and cries out, ) 109.47 629.33 T
(and then she is quiet again and with-) 72 617.33 T
(out expression. I position the knife ) 72 605.33 T
(once more, ready to put my weight ) 72 593.33 T
(into the movement, but everything ) 72 581.33 T
(feels wrong and I hesitate again, an-) 72 569.33 T
-0.01 (gry at my hesitation, my confusion. I ) 72 557.33 P
(struggle to \336nd the answers before ) 72 545.33 T
(this moment is past understanding.) 72 533.33 T
-0.76 (As I look into her eyes something ) 90 521.33 P
-0.11 (new comes into my mind and I begin ) 72 509.33 P
(to understand. She breathes still, but ) 72 497.33 T
(somehow she has already given up ) 72 485.33 T
-0.04 (her life. How can I take what she has ) 72 473.33 P
(already given away? Her eyes are so ) 72 461.33 T
(strange and calm. I am drawn in and ) 72 449.33 T
(caught.) 72 437.33 T
(I shake my head to clear my ) 90 425.33 T
(thoughts. This is a moment of death, ) 72 413.33 T
-0.21 (but she is already dead. How can that ) 72 401.33 P
-0.56 (be? I hold the knife but I cannot move ) 72 389.33 P
(my hand to kill her) 72 377.33 T
(.) 147.52 377.33 T
(And then, suddenly) 90 365.33 T
(, the warrior ) 167.36 365.33 T
(inside me decides, and the blade ) 72 353.33 T
-0.01 (plunges deep into her) 72 341.33 P
-0.01 (. She cries loud-) 157.19 341.33 P
230.94 333 381.05 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
-0.8 (ly now) 230.94 713.33 P
-0.8 (, with pain, but her eyes are still ) 256.98 713.33 P
(\336xed on mine and mine on hers. She ) 230.94 701.33 T
-0.58 (convulses under me, and I lie on her) 230.94 689.33 P
-0.58 (, I ) 371.39 689.33 P
-0.27 (embrace her with my body) 230.94 677.33 P
-0.27 (, breathing ) 336.35 677.33 P
-0.05 (with her as she breathes, breathes for ) 230.94 665.33 P
(the last time, watching her eyes as ) 230.94 653.33 T
-0.91 (they watch mine, watching her) 230.94 641.33 P
-0.91 (, seeing ) 349.85 641.33 P
(her die.) 230.94 629.33 T
-0.88 (Long moments pass. Her eyes are ) 248.94 617.33 P
(open but they do not see, and I close ) 230.94 605.33 T
(them for her) 230.94 593.33 T
(.) 279.8 593.33 T
-0.18 (I pull my knife out of her body) 248.94 581.33 P
-0.18 (. I ) 370.58 581.33 P
(wipe her blood of) 230.94 569.33 T
(f the blade on her ) 301.54 569.33 T
(body and then I sheath my weapon.) 230.94 557.33 T
(I look at her a for a while. The ) 248.94 545.33 T
(moonlight makes the blood on her ) 230.94 533.33 T
-0.6 (black and her face white. I stand slow-) 230.94 521.33 P
(ly) 230.94 509.33 T
(, looking at the stars, not looking ) 238.07 509.33 T
(down, yet I see her eyes as I walk ) 230.94 497.33 T
(back down the mountain. They stare ) 230.94 485.33 T
(at me, clear) 230.94 473.33 T
(, calm, alive.) 276.89 473.33 T
(Now the blood-lust has \336nally ) 248.94 461.33 T
-0.08 (left me. I do not understand what has ) 230.94 449.33 P
(happened, what I have done, what it ) 230.94 437.33 T
(means. How have I killed what was ) 230.94 425.33 T
-0.38 (already dead? I wonder if I have been ) 230.94 413.33 P
(cheated somehow) 230.94 401.33 T
(, and the thought ) 301.62 401.33 T
(makes me angry) 230.94 389.33 T
(.) 295.8 389.33 T
(I stop walking to let my anger ) 248.94 377.33 T
(cool.) 230.94 365.33 T
-0.76 (A doe bolts into my path, freezes. ) 248.94 353.33 P
(Her eyes meet mine for a moment, ) 230.94 341.33 T
389.88 72 540 720 R
7 X
V
0 X
(glinting in the moonlight, and then ) 389.88 713.33 T
(she bounds away into the brush.) 389.88 701.33 T
(I realize that the girl has won. ) 407.88 689.33 T
(Slowly I smile.) 389.88 677.33 T
-0.56 (The moon shines on me as I walk ) 407.88 665.33 P
(down the hills, away from my most ) 389.88 653.33 T
(recent battle. My enemy lies dead on ) 389.88 641.33 T
(the ground behind me and I realize ) 389.88 629.33 T
(that I have lost and she has won. I ) 389.88 617.33 T
-0.83 (don\325) 389.88 605.33 P
-0.83 (t know how) 408.02 605.33 P
-0.83 (, exactly) 452.91 605.33 P
-0.83 (, but I know it ) 485.29 605.33 P
(is true.) 389.88 593.33 T
(I look at the moon and I almost ) 407.88 581.33 T
(think that I understand what it is for ) 389.88 569.33 T
(now) 389.88 557.33 T
(, what its mystery is about, but I ) 406.45 557.33 T
(am not sure. I must think about what ) 389.88 545.33 T
(has happened, about this battle, and ) 389.88 533.33 T
(about the moon.) 389.88 521.33 T
-0.28 (I will stay outside with the moon ) 407.88 509.33 P
(every night until I understand this ) 389.88 497.33 T
-0.29 (thing. Eventually I will win the battle ) 389.88 485.33 P
(that I have just lost.) 389.88 473.33 T
10 F
-0.23 (Sonia is a softwar) 389.88 401.33 P
-0.23 (e engineer by trade.) 460.75 401.33 P
0.04 (She has been writing \336ction since she) 389.88 389.33 P
0.87 (was \336rst able to r) 389.88 377.33 P
0.87 (ead and write. She) 462.98 377.33 P
2.65 (also sculpts SF & Fantasy critters) 389.88 365.33 P
1.43 (and shows them at local convention) 389.88 353.33 P
(art shows.) 389.88 341.33 T
513 441 540 459 9 RR
V
N
8 F
7 X
1 K
(A) 520.5 444.86 T
FMENDPAGE
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