PRISONER ABUSE AND UNGODLY SILENCE.
COPYRIGHT � JANUARY 14, 1996 All rights reserved.
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By Lee Tyler P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763
[email protected] = Sunday afternoon thru Thurs evening
>Does God care about prisoners? Shouldn't you?
Ps 69:33 For the LORD hears the needy, and does not despise His prisoners.
Ps 79:11 Let the groaning of the prisoner come before You;
Ps 102:17 He will regard the prayer of the destitute, and not despise their
prayer. . .For He has looked down from the height of His sanctuary. . . to
hear the groaning of the prisoner, . . .
>If God cares about prisoners, shouldn't you? Jesus said His blessing is on
those who visit and minister to His children in prison and His curse is on
those who do not visit and minister to His children in prison. Do you at least
pray for them as a class of people? How can you not, given what Jesus said?
Mt 25:36 I was naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I
was in prison, and you came to Me.
>Are only "low-lifes" and human "trash" prisoners? What does the Word
say? Consider the following:
Ge 39:20 And JOSEPH'S master took him and put him in the prison, a place
where the king's prisoners [were] bound. And he was there in the prison.
Ex 2:23 And it happened after many days the king of Egypt died. And THE
SONS OF ISRAEL sighed because of the bondage, and they cried, and their
cry came up to God because of the bondage.
Ex 6:5 And I have also heard the groaning of the sons of Israel, those whom
the Egyptians are keeping in bondage. And I have remembered My covenant.
Jud 16:25 And when their hearts were merry, it happened that they said, Call
for SAMSON and he will make sport for us. And they called for Samson out
of the prison house. And he made sport for them, and they set him between
the pillars.
2Ch 16:10 And Asa was angry with THE SEER and put him in a prison-
house.
Isa 14:3 And it shall be in the day that the LORD shall give you rest from your
sorrow, and from your fear, and from the hard bondage which was pressed
on you,
Isa 53:8 He [JESUS] was taken from prison and from judgment; and who
shall declare His generation? For He [JESUS] was cut off out of the land of
the living; for the transgression of My people He [JESUS was] stricken.
Jer 37:15 And the rulers were angry with JEREMIAH, and struck him, and
put him in prison, the house of Jonathan the scribe. For they had made that
the prison.
Mt 4:12 But when Jesus heard that JOHN was thrown into prison, He
withdrew into Galilee.
Ac 5:18 And laid their hands on THE APOSTLES and put them in the public
custody. 19 But the angel of [the] Lord opened the prison doors by night and
brought them out,
Ac 8:3 But Saul ravaged THE CHURCH, entering into every house. And
dragging men and women, he delivered [them] up to prison.
Ac 12:5 Then, indeed, PETER was kept in prison.
Ac 16:37 But PAUL said to them, Having beaten us publicly, men who are
Romans and uncondemned, they threw [us] into prison.
>What a list! Joseph, the children of Israel, Samson, Jesus, Jeremiah, John,
the apostles, the Church, specifically Peter and Paul are the stars of the
show! It would be an honor to be in such company, even in prison. How
dare we stereotype all prisoners in such an evil and stereotyped manner as
we often do? As in all matters of the Spirit and the Church, prejudice, bias
and bigotry has no place and every individual must be considered on an
individual basis (1Tim. 5:21 and James 2:1-10).
But the issue I want to deal with in this document is the evil of man's way,
the world's way, imposed on prisoners, the hypocrisy of it, and the silence of
theChristian community about it. There are state and federal laws that
make sure that prisoners get enough food, have a clean healthy
environment, have adequate clothing and even have asbestos-free air to
breath. Society recognizes the natural need of their human bodies for toilet
paper and toilets, urinals, soap and showers, cafeterias, bedding and beds,
clothing and shoes, laundering, toothpaste and tooth brushes, doctors and
nurses. Genuine human physical needs are addressed and provided for by
law and monitored by activist and regulatory agencies. But then hypocrisy
steps in.
The hypocrisy is society's denial that the sexual drive and appetite is as
much a physical appetite and need as is food, thirst and rest. You say that
you never heard of anyone dying from lack of sex - - - - and I say you are
talking like an ostrich with its head in the sand. The irrationality of a
testosterone episode can cause one to do foolish and dangerous things with
very sick people. The irrationality of a testosterone episode improperly
handled can not only endanger the life of the male, but also the well being of
his family and all his loved ones.
AIDS is epidemic in many prison wings-- -and you die from sexually
transmited AIDS. They wont put minors with older male prisoners because
they know it is a death sentence for the minor who becomes the "girl" for the
older and bigger males who have no other sexual outlet. They even show
minors videos of prisoners who plainly state the sexual domination and
exploitation of the weak that takes place in prison and try to use that to
scare the minors out of crime. Most in our society say that such a
predicament and plague of AIDS is what they deserve, since they are
prisoners. You could never make it stand in the Supreme Court that a car
thief, one who assaults another, a wife beater,a rapist etc deserve the death
sentence for such crimes. Yet we know they are doomed to that fate in many
prisons.
Any urologist and endocrinologist worth the title knows that sex is just as
much an appetite and physical need as food , drink and rest especially in the
case of the high-middle to high testosterone blood level male. If you don't
have enough food you are driven by your hunger to get the food you need, or
else you become weak and uncomfortable. If you don't have enough to
drink, you become uncomfortable and seek something to drink or else you
become dehydrated and quite uncomfortable, seeking relief. A good
urologist or endocrinologist can easily document that if a high blood
testosterone level male does not have an effective outlet, such a male can be
almost irrationally driven to seek and obtain release and relief. Read the
documentation of William H. Masters, Virginia E. Johnson, Fred Belliveau
and Lin Richter.
What a shame most people have no idea of what the average male's
testosterone sex drive does to him as a male. Granted about half of the
males have mid-range to low testosterone levels as well as nocturnal
emission, so they have a safety release valve on their sex lives. The low
testosterone level males may have a great deal of difficulty turning on their
sex lives and are as ignorant of the intense experience of the high
testosterone male as is the average female.
Most people have no idea that the sex drive in that half of the male who
have mid to high testosterone levels in their blood is as strong and
compelling as the hunger drive when the stomach is growling and cramping
for lack of food; or as the thirst drive when the tongue, throat and mouth are
so dry it is even difficult to talk; as the rest drive when it is impossible to keep
the eyes open or the body erect due to utter exhausion. These same people
would not normally ignore such hunger/thirst signs, nor say that they would
take cold showers and exercise to overcome such hunger/thirst signs. If they
chose to fast, go without food and drink, by the second day they would be too
weak to do their daily work and chores, and by the third day they would be
too weak walk far or stand for long periods of time.
Yet they fault the mid to high testosterone blood level male for not being able
to ignore his compelling sex drive and do without. When the men who are
not blessed with natural nocturnal emission (wet dreams) have gone without
sexual release for several days, the prostrate becomes so congested that it
begins to squeeze shut the uretha so they cannot urinate normally and they
have urinate much more frequently. The effect on the brain is that those
high testosterone level males are so distracted and distractable,
especially by anything female, that quite literally their minds could be said to
be weakened in that it is very difficult to concentrate or focus on other
necessary tasks. The impact of every feminine stimulus (female hair, scent,
body shape, a specific part of her body that stands out or is more noticeable,
her voice, her feminine movements, proximity, feminine clothing etc.) is
exaggerated and magnified in proportion to the testosterone level. Even in
the night when trying to sleep, the high blood level testosterone male has a
very difficult time trying to sleep when experiencing a testosterone episode
because even though his eyes are closed and it is dark, the testosterone is
activating memory cells storing memories of female stimuli and he probably
will not be able to sleep well until he has the release of an orgasm.
The impact on the high testosterone level male is that he must try to battle to
maintain his focus and attention on necessary tasks. That involves deciding
how to deal with the involuntary female distraction, how to regain his
concentration and his line of thought. So instead of being able to go on with
good concentration on the task at hand like his fellow workers, his
concentration is broken, the female stimuli is recognized and evaluated, the
response to the female stimuli is evaluated and chosen, the interrupted line
of thought is retrieved, the point in the interrupted line of thought is located
and the concentration is resumed until the next female stimulus breaks the
concentration and the whole process is repeated-----putting such a male
further and further behind his coworkers who do not have to deal with such
testosterone induced reactions. It give attention deficit disorder a whole
new meaning.
If people could think of their nasal sinuses being so congested that
they cannot breath, or of the problems with urination that a woman has with
urination when 8 or 9 months pregnant, then maybe they could understand
the problems prostrate congestion can cause. Without release, ejaculation,
they could become so distracted and distractable by anything that, as with
too much alcohol, their judment and thinking is impaired and foolish (risky),
dangerous (AIDS,HIV) or irrational behaviour results.
To help his wife or daughter understand the effect of testosterone-coupled
-with-females on a male in relationship with his woman whom he loves and
desires passionately, a man might do the following. (1) Take his lady out to
eat her favorite meal. (2) Order the meal, talking it up to maximize her
anticipation and desire for it . When the meal is served, ask her take a
minute to look carefully at each item (how it is arranged, how it appears).
Ask her to smell each item. Ask her to take one fork/spoon serving of each
item and eat it, one at a time. (3) Ask her if she is pleased and still wants it .
If she replies that she is ready and eager to eat and wants no more delay,
then gently, sweetly, carefully ask/beg/entreat her to trust you in what you
are about to do and that she go along with what you are about to do. (4) If
she will cooperate, ask the waiter/waitress to doggy bag the meal. She will
probably need a lot of reassurance at this point, so tell her that if she will go
along with you it will significantly improve her marriage. Hopefully she will
believe you, reluctantly. Ask her to carry the bagged food in the car on her
lap, or on the floor at her feet. (5) Turn on the heater of your car with a little
floor heat so the smell of the food will rise to her face. (6)When you get
home, ask her to carry it and put it in the refrigerator . She will probably
need more encouragement to do this. Ask/beg/entreat her to trust you and
cooperate. Ask her if she likes the way that the evening has gone so far. Ask
her how she feels about her favorite meal, cooling off in the refrigerator. Sit
her down and gently, compassionately and wisely explain to her what
follows next.
The �favorite meal� to him is HER (1). He approaches, anticipates, and
awaits her with eager expectation(2). Tell her that everytime he sees,
smells, hears, touches and/or tastes her lips/skin, it is what she felt above (3).
Explain that the bagging of the food in front of her (4) is what he feels when
she says to him �Honey! Not tonight.�, �I have a headache and I just don�t
feel like it right now.�, �All you think of is sex! Chill out baby! Not tonight!�,
�What have you done lately to deserve it, baby?�. Explain to her that the
carrying of the pleasantly aromatic food home on her lap in the car is like
when he is near her but can�t feast on her, can�t fully enjoy her(5). Explain
that her putting the nice warm and delicious food in the refrigerator is what
he experiences when he has to go to bed or part from her without having
had the honor, the privilege, the delightful pleasure, the soul fulfilling
experience of feasting on her and her many delectables (6).
Explain patiently and gently and that for him his sexual drive is an appetite,
and his appetite is for her - his favorite feast. Explain that to be near her is
like ordering and receiving his favorite meal, her. Explain that when he is
denied his compelling hunger and thirst for her, it is painful and hard to
bear. Explain that it is a soul wrenching experience, just as losing her
favorite meal was for her. Explain that he NEEDS her even more than he
WANTS her. Appeal to her experience with the deferred meal to
understand how frustrating and emotionally troubling it is to be denied her.
If nothing else, lay the Word on her----how it is the will of God for her to
feed the hungry, and seeing his need and her ability to meet it -- pray that
she will be moved with compassion and meet his need. And explain that his
responsibility is to receive the wonderful and gracious gift that she is and
has, is to gently and kindly and thoughtfully enjoy her---seeking to give her
as much pleasure as possible.
If he doesn�t do that, then he is the swine that had pearls thrown before him,
the fool who has no idea of the value of his precious possession and hides it
away from all, even from himself. If the smile and expressions of delight on
her face and the utterances of fulfillment and ecstasy on her lips are not as
important to him as his hunger for and need of her, then he is unworthy of
her. Perhaps such an unworthy one could show genuine repentance (2Cor7)
and humble himself under the mighty hand of His God and under the
authority He has given his wife over his body, and become a learner of how
to please and delight his woman. A man who acts like Nabal with his wife,
will surely face the fate of a Nabal.
As a male with mid to high testosterone and no nocturnal emission when I
was in high school, my Urologist (Vital Haynes,MD), told me I had a few
options to prevent my recurring prostrate congestion. He said that I, at age
17, could either get married and be intimate frequently, be promiscuous
frequently, self-stimulate quite frequently, become homosexual (the penis in
the anus squeezes the seminal fluid out of the prostrate), or come into his
office two to three times a week for him to massage/press the seminal fluid
out of my prostrate (too expensive and embarassing). Cold showers,
exercise and being spiritual just did not empty the prostrate so I could
urinate normally and have my mind clear of testosterone distractions. For
the mid to high testosterone male, sexual release is just as much as physical
need as food, drink, and sleep.
The question such men have to deal with is, "How can I have the
testosterone release I need so I can take care of daily business and be
acceptable to Jesus?" The obvious answer is marriage (1 Cor. 7:1,2,5,9) with
a wife who understands his sexual needs and is committed to ministering to
him in his need in Christ, and as unto Christ (Matt. 25:34,35,36), so that his
physical need of the release/ejaculation can be met and they can get on with
their lives. The closest the female comes to this experience is in her PMS
where her mind is bombarded with hormones etc. making many to be quite
distracted and temporarily not their normal selves. It is extremely difficult
for a woman to understand that testosterone can make a godly man
REALLY NEED (not just want) the physical marital love making of a godly
wife. It is not just a matter of the will and the mind, just like the physical
needs for food, drink and sleep are not only matters of the will and the mind.
So we have a middle to high blood level testosterone male, and he is put in
jail. Benevolently we feed him, clothe him, bed him, doctor him and then
hypcritcally we deny him a legitimate sexual outlet for his periodic/weekly/
daily burning desire/need. Yet God expects the prisoner, burning with
passion and failing to stay pure before God, to handle his testosterone
episodes in an acceptable manner, to know how to handle such episodes.
That means that he expects such a male to marry if possible, who is burning
with sexual desire and burning in torment over his failure to consistently win
the struggle to be sexually upright before God. If our society prevents such a
male to marry, then our society is at odds with God and we know who loses
in that confrontation. If our society prevents such a burning and tormented
child of God in prison from marrying, God has promised that he would not
be tempted above that which he is able to handle by God's inner working, but
that He would either provide an end to such temptation or a way out of such
temptation (1Cor.10:13). It is no big thing for the God of the universe to
move through legislators to change legislation, to have a prisoner released,
to change a believer's hormones so the temptations are more manageable.
But the following shows what His preferred solution is for such burning-in-
torment prisoners.
1 Thess 4:1 � Furthermore, then, my brothers, we beseech you and exhort
[you] in [the] Lord Jesus, that, as you have received of us how you ought to
walk and to please God, so you would abound more [and more]. 2 For we
know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the
will of God, your sanctification, that you should abstain from fornication>^,
4 each one of you should know how to know how to possess his vessel.
[Footnote:>^=Pressing/handling/embracing a female's breast and/or
breast-nipple, coition/genital-to-genital connection, genital connection
with orgasm OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN MARRIAGE]
OTHER POSSIBLE TRANSLATIONS PUT FORTH BY OTHERS :
1: . . .�know that he is to procure his own vessel [wife] in [personal]
holiness and honor, not in the passion of inordinate desire . . .�
2. ..� learn to control his own body .. or . .�learn to live with his
own wife; or . . .�learn to acquire a wife . . .
3. � know how to possess [control, manage] his own body (in
purity, separated from things progfane, and) in consecration and honor.".1b
in sanctification and honor 5 (not in the passion of lust, even as the nations
who know not God) , 6 not to go beyond and defraud >1c his brother in
this matter, because the Lord [is the] avenger concerning all these, as we also
have forewarned you and testified. 7 For God has not called us to
uncleanness, but unto sanctification. 8 He, therefore, who despises, does not
despise man but God, who also has given unto us His Holy Spirit.
[Footnote: >1c This probably refers to adultery, defrauding your brother by
adultery with his wife.]
>So how is a male, burning with sexual need and desire and often failing to
control himself, supposed to deal with this situation?
KJV 1 Corinth. 7: 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good
for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry:
for it is better to marry than to burn.
>>>1Co.7:9a BUT IF THEY CANNOT contain, let them marry.<<<<<<<
<Strong�s 3756>12 Strong's exhaustive concordance; Baker Book House;
Grand Rapids, Mich.12---------�3756 ou {oo} ..
a primary word, the absolute negative [cf 3361] adverb; particle
1) no, not; in direct questions expecting an affirmative answer�
So Strong's shows us that there is no Greek basis for the word �can�. It was
supplied by the translators. When the KJV translators translated the very
same word, without the negative �not�, in 1 Cor. 9:25 (And every man that
strives for the mastery is temperate <1467> (5736) in all things. ) they use
�is temperate�, not �can be temperate�, to translate <1467> so even they are
inconsistent.
>>>1Co.7:9b- But if they do not CONTAIN , let them marry.<<<<<<<<
[Strong�s<1467> (5736)],
Strong�s1467 egkrateuomai {eng-krat-yoo'-om-ahee}
middle voice from 1468
1) to be self-controlled, continent
1a) to exhibit self-government, conduct, one's self temperately
1b) in a figure drawn from athletes, who in preparing themselves for the
games abstained from unwholesome food, wine, and sexual indulgence
5736 Tense - Present; Voice - Middle or Passive Deponent; Mood -
Indicative.
DBY1>.13 Darby�s.3 "But if they have not control over themselves, "
NEB1>.14 New English Bible (version 2) 1970.4 "if they cannot control
themselves, "(So also NIV)
YLT1>.15 Young�s Literal Translation.5 and "if they have not continence--"
NKJV1>.16 New King James Version, 1984: This version uses the word
"cannot" with refernce to the exercise of self-control, "cannot exercise self-
control"
MKJV1>.17 OnLine Bible�s Modern King James Version: This version uses
"do not" with reference to having self-control.
ASV1>.18 American Standard Version, 1901.8 "But if they have not
continency, "
LP1>.19 Lamsa�s Peshitta, 1957.9 "But if they cannot endure it, "
AB2>.20 Amplified Bible, 1965.0 "But if they have not self-control (restraint
of their passions), "
WNT2>.21 Wuests�s New Testament, 1961.1 "But assuming that they are
not able to exercise self-control in the realm of the continent life, "........
>>>1Co.7:9c- But if they do not contain, LET THEM MARRY <<<<<<<<
[Strong�s <1060> (5657)]:
�Strong�s 1060: gameo {gam-eh'-o} from 1062>.>..
1) to lead in marriage, take to wife
1a) to get married, to marry
1b) to give one's self in marriage
2) to give a daughter in marriage
Strong�s 5657 Tense - Aorist;
Voice - Active-------
The active voice represents the subject as the doer or performer of the
action. E.g., in the sentence, "The boy hit the ball," the boy performs the
action.
Mood - Imperative
The imperative mood corresponds to the English imperative, and expresses
a command to the hearer to perform a certain action by the order and
authority of the one commanding. Thus, Jesus' phrase, "Repent ye, and
believe the gospel" (Mk.1:15)is not at all an "invitation," but an absolute
command requiring full obedience on the part of all hearers.�
DBY " let them marry; " (so also LP)
NEB "they should marry." (so also NIV)
ASV "let them marry" (so also YLT, MKJV, WNT & NKJV)
AB they should marry.
Does "let them marry" mean "You let/permit/allow them to marry"? Is
�You� the �hearer [who is] to perform� the action of marrying in this
passage? J. Gresham Machen, D.D., Litt.D; in his Macmillan Co. Greek
manual, states the following:
"The imperative mood is used in commands.It will be observed that the
English language has, properly speaking, no imperative of the third person.
Hence in translating the Greek imperative of the third person we have to use
the helping verb let, so that the noun or pronoun that is the subject of the
imperative in Greek becomes the object of the helping verb in English."
So in �if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry.� it means -------
�that the..pronoun (them) that is the subject (third person plural: they) of
the imperative (marry) in Greek becomes the object (them) of the helping
verb (let) in English.�
So a literal translation of �let them marry� would be �they are commanded
to marry" by the order and authority of the one commanding (The Holy
Spirit in Paul); or simply, �they are commanded to marry.� Who is
commanded to marry? Those who don�t exercise self-control. THERE IS
NO INDICATION AS TO WHO THEY SHOULD MARRY. IN THE OLD
TESTAMENT THE "WHO" WAS INDENTIFIED (See Deut. 22 and Ex. 22)
BUT WE ARE NO LONGER BOUND BY THOSE LAWS (Acts 15; Eph. 2;
Col. 2). We know that He does not want us to marry the unsaved (2 Cor. 6)
or saints living in sin (2 Th. 3:6-14; 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 1 Tim. 6:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5).
It's obvious that He wants us to marry "in the Lord".
DBY "for it is better to marry than to burn." (so also ASV, MKJV
NEB "Better be married than burn with vain desire."
YLT "for it is better to marry than to burn;"
LP" for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. " (So also NIV, NKJV
AB "For it is better to marry than to be aflame (with passion and tortured
continually with ungratified desire)."
WNT "for it is more advantageous to marry than to continue to burn [with
the heat of sexual passion}"
>>>1 Cor.7:9----FOR IT IS BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO BURN.<<<<
So the way this writer gets it is a modified DBY: �But if they have not
control over themselves, they should marry; For it is better to marry than to
burn. Now if the mighty God of the universe tells me I should marry, just
being thankful in Christ that He has taken the time to know me and deal
with me, I would be asking �Who� and �When�. Now I know I need to obey
my Lord Jesus (Heb.5:8,9;1John2:1-5), and since He has told me I NEED
to/SHOULD marry and promised to supply all my needs according to His
riches, then I need to prepare myself forWHOEVER of the saints He
provides (seek and ye shall find), knowing that He will LEAD that saint to be
willing to marry me ----- and shame on me if I am too selfish and particular
to accept the outlet He provides!
But society allows nothing except self-stimulation (a real mental problem for
many men who believe it is a sign of weakness or mental illness) and strictly
regulated conjugal visits with nowhere enough frequency for normal males.
If Jesus says the solution for sexual burning is marriage, then we need to
make it possible for prisoners also to marry and have conjugal visits that are
realistically frequent and comfortable. To disregard Jesus' solution is to play
the fool and ruin human lives. To not allow prisoners the opportunity to be
in communication with the opposite sex is cruel and unusual punishment
under the laws of God. To force prisoners into sin, into homosexuality, by
denying them the meeting of their God given needs in the God given
manner, marriage, is to play the fool and ruin human lives. Of course God
has very effective ways of dealing with those who set deny and reject His
way. Why have a Hell of a life and then become fuel for Hell fire, when it is
so much better to let people be people, remembering that prisoners are
people. These needs can be met without compromising prison security or the
terms of their sentencing. Let's not be fools. Let's be wise. Write your city,
county, state and federal elected representatives. Who can deny that it
would be far better for one prisoner to marry another prisoner than for that
one prisoner to homosexually abuse another or be homosexually abused by
another.
If prisoners are allowed to communicate with, court and woo each other,
then the following is useful.
SOME SCRIPTURAL GUIDELINES
1. God makes it very clear in His Word that He, as our Heavenly
Father, instructs us not to �go with�, become engaged to, or marry anyone
who is not a believer who is obeying the Word of God>#1. Being the Loving
Father our God is, and the all wise King that Jesus is, God instructs us for
our own well being that an obedient believer should not �go with�, become
engaged to, or marry any �believer� who is disobeying God�s instructions, or
any �believer� who believes or teaches things that contradict or are in
conflict with God�s teachings in the Bible>#2. Yes, that really narrows the
way for finding a godly mate and drastically reduces the number of eligible
people but those who have been down the road can tell you that it is better to
marry right than wrong, and that it is better not to marry than to marry
wrong. It just makes the miracle of God�s provision even more miraculous,
like Elijah pouring all that water over the sacrifice to be burned before God
sent the consuming fire from Heaven. You have to have Faith in God to
walk with God. You have to really trust Him before you can turn your hopes
and dreams over to Him for His decision.
[#1 2 Corinthians 6:11-7:1; 1 Corinthians 15:33; James 4:4; Exodus 34:12;
23:33; 1 Kings 11:1,2; Ezra 9:11,12; Nehemiah 10:25-30;Psalms 1:1; 26:4,5;
Prov. 12:26;13:20; 14:7; 24:1; Amos 3:3. #2 1 Corinthians 5:9-
11; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-14; Ephesians 5:7,11; NKJV 1 Timothy6:3-5; Romans
16:17; 3 John 10,11; 2 Timothy 3:1-5]
2. If you have no need of marital affectionate/sexual intimacy, a gift from
God, you have the wonderful opportunity to serve God with fewer
"distractions", to spend much more time with Him in the Word and prayer,
and with others in ministry. David Hocking's book on singles beautifully
explains 1 Corinthians 7:1,7,,20,25-35 and the great opportunity the single
life presents to those who want more fully to seek and follow God with their
whole heart. Singles groups for such people are fellowship opportunities,
and provide the opportunity to bond with friends and minister to the Body of
Christ.
3. If your calling and gift is to marry, how do you seek and find that partner?
First of all you have to have your priorities right because marriage can
become an idol just like anything else on earth can. You have to make very
sure that Matthew 6:33,34; Proverbs 3:1-8; Psalms 37:1-6; and 2 Timothy 2
are daily very real or else even our prayers are in vain (1 John 3:22,23 and 1
John 5:14,15).
Next we have to come to the place of Luke 22:42 and Romans 6:4,11, 12,13---
-the place of death to self and resurrection to Love which seeks not its own
way/things---SO THAT WE ARE READY TO ACCEPT WHOEVER HE
GIVES TO US, EVEN IF HIS CHOICE SEEMS TO FALL FAR SHORT OF
OUR DREAMS AND FANTASIES. With our "seed" dead in the ground, He
can raise us to a new life of marriage in His will. You literally have to die to
your wants and tastes in physical appearance, personality, color hair or
eyes, height, talents, income, status etc. and be ready to accept whoever He
gives to you and you will have doubt-free peace of heart and mind if you are
ready and accepting the one He gives to you. Your only concern should be
that your prospective mate meets God's requirements in the Bible for a
godly, Spirit-led and Spirit-filled man/woman.
Jesus said seek and you shall find. Seeking one's mate can be as active a
process as Ruth's and Queen Esther's or it can be as privately surprising as
Adam's awakening to Eve for the first time. You can count on God to lead
you according to His word (Proverbs 3:5,6; Romans 8:14). You can trust Him
to put His ideas/desires in your heart/mind and the opportunities to act on
them (Philippians 2:13; Hebrews 13:20,21). Like Adam, you can wake up to
her in your life in His time. Like Issac, a parent figure can help you find
God's choice for you. You can just be going about your daily activities like
Rebekah and, in a moment of compassionate assistance to a stranger, you
can find your mate.
Like Ruth, you can commit yourself to God's service, make a Godly decision
to step out of one situation and into another and in that new situation be led
and advised to do what seems like an ordinary work day decision but which
results in your meeting your mate quite unexpectedly. Following wise and
Godly counsel of Godly counselors like Ruth, you might be led to offer
yourself as wife to a Godly man who obviously cares for and admires you
but for some reason feels unworthy to ask you to be his wife. Like David
meeting Abigail, you could just be going about your daily walk in the Lord,
meet a godly woman you admire and respect but who seems unavailable just
to quite unexpectedly find that she is both available and ready to marry you.
Like Abigail, you could find yourself in a trying and difficult situation with no
relief in sight, but by living wisely and Godly in that situation impress and
build a relationship with the one you will eventually marry.
With today�s laws about sexual harassment, any wise male will think long
and hard before he compliments a female on her female beauty or
appearance, long and hard before he will let her know he likes her and is
interested in getting to know her personally, long and hard before he will ask
or suggest that they go out on a date. Because of the sexual harassment
laws the only way a woman might know a man is interested in her is by what
his eyes show, and it is now virtually up to the woman to tell the man that if
he is interested, she would like to get to know him better and get together to
talk. This is very hard for a woman because of the chance of misreading his
eyes and being rejected and embarrassed. That�s why men and women more
than ever need Christian singles� and couples� agencies and fellowship
groups, as the Lord leads.
THE KEY IS IN GENESIS 24:27. Being in His way, doing His things, saying
His Words He leads you to the where and the who of your future. It may
even seem like blind faith but it has to be absolute trust in His working all
things together according to the counsel of His own will (Ephes. 1:11; Phil.
4:6,7) free of worry, anxiety and fretting, with a soul at rest and in peace
knowing that your Shepherd-King will take care of the need for you in His
time with the person of His choice, not necessarily of your choice. YOU
MUST TRUST HIM TO USE HIS WORD AND THE TRUTH OF
ROMANS 14:22,23 WITH PHILIPPIANS 4:6,7 to guide you. He can bring
scriptures to mind to guide and direct you.
The final test is the Spirit's gift of doubt-free peace of heart and mind. Move
and rest in that peace. Consider every doubt and uneasiness of spirit to be
God's Romans 14 and Phil. 4 signal to you that you shouldn't do the thing in
question because either it is the wrong thing and you don't realize it yet, or it
is the right thing but you shouldn't do it yet. So you don't say it or do it until
your consciousness is filled with His doubt-free peace and rest of spirit about
it/him/her and the Word of God in Scripture.
