What makes a wedding &/or a marriage?
From many passages in the Bible (including Ezekiel 16:8, Exodus chapters
19 & 20, and Malachi 2:14,15) it appears clear to me that marriage of a
couple is based on their covenant/solemn agreement to be husband and wife
to each other in a relationship of marital/ sexual intimacy, - - whether or
not they do it legally or officially. Adam and Eve had no formal or
official wedding and exchanged no formal vows but they accepted each other
as husband and wife and lived accordingly. There is no wedding formula in
the Bible and there is no wedding ceremony prescribed in the Bible.
When you study how they married in the Old Testament you see that the
basis was either their covenant to be husband and wife to each other, or
they accepted their parents' covenant for them to be married. The strongest
statement I know of is the one in Matthew 1:18,19,20 where, based on their
covenant/betrothal (v.18), the Holy Spirit callED Joseph her husband (v.19)
and the angel called Mary his wife (v.20) before (Luke 1:26,34) their
official wedding and cohabitation (v.24). God and His messengers call
Mary and Joseph wife and husband before their wedding and solely on the
basis of their covenants to be husband and wife to each other. This agrees
with the great weight God gives our solemn word in such passages as DBY
PSALM 15: Jehovah, who shall sojourn in thy tent? . . . 2 He that walketh
uprightly, . . .who, if he have sworn to his own hurt, changeth it not; . .
YLT ECCLES 5:4 � When thou vowest a vow to God, delay not to complete it,
for there is no pleasure in fools; that which thou vowest--complete. 5
Better that thou do not vow, than that thou dost vow and dost not complete.
6 Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin, nor say before the
messenger, that `it [is] an error,' why is God wroth because of thy voice,
and hath destroyed the work of thy hands?
All of this is to say that if you and your mate have agreed seriously
to be faithful to each other in and for marital/sexual intimacy as husband
and wife, then I believe that makes you husband and wife. Even if you
haven't used the magic words "husband, wife, marriage", if you two have
agreed to be faithful marital/sexual partners to each other, to me that's
the same thing as Ezekiel 16:14 where God shows that marriage is by
covenant. In Malachi 2 God shows again that a woman becomes a wife by
covenant, and to break that covenant is to deal treacherously with you
mate. Sexual intimacy>m with anyone else besides your mate is fornication,
sexual sin. If you are maritally committed to each other and then you
yourself --- but not your mate----- genuinely received Jesus Christ as
your Lord and Ruler to be obeyed and as Savior to deliver you from the
penalty of your sins- - but your guy hasn't, then I believe you find
yourself in the situation described in 1 Corinthians 7:12,13,14,15, the
saved mate of an unsaved person.
[>.m see footnotes on breast pressing, petting,caressing and/or genital
contact (Ezekiel 23:3,8,21; Prov. 5.)]
CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A LOVING CONSCIENCE!
Surely Romans 13 and related passages apply. And certainly the principles
of Romans 14 and l Cor 8 & 10 apply. The following is a brief summary of
those principles:
1. Receive the weak in faith (their faith allows them very little personal
liberty) but not to dispute doubtful things/points>61 . Doubtful things
are things that the Bible is not explicitly clear about leaving a gray area
for individuals to exercise their own judgment (e.g. eating meat vs.
vegetarianism, length of dress, courtship and engagement, television,
movies, computer use etc.)
2. Don't despise or condemn your brother/sister in Christ if (1) they feel
free to do doubtful things or (2) they don't feel free to do doubtful
things>62
3. Don't put a stumbling block, an occasion to take offense, put an
obstacle in the way>82 , give someone an opportunity for sinning>63
4. Don't make your brethren uneasy>83 or hurt, injure or damage others' feelings>84.
5. Don't destroy your brethren's faith with your personal liberty>64
6. Let not the personal liberty your faith allows be evil spoken of>65
7. Do that which builds and helps the faith of your brethren>66 .
8. Don't put a temptation to sin in someone's way>.85 , or do that which
leads another to sin>.86 .
9. Have your faith from the Word that allows you your personal liberty
privately, discretely and personally before God and be happy in it>67
10. Don't do anything you have doubts about, doubts about whether or not it
is God's will for you to do, be or have)>68
11. If your faith is strong allowing you a great deal of personal liberty,
you should bear the weaknesses of those whose faith allows little personal
liberty, not pleasing ourselves. Seek to please your brethren for their
good, growth and development in the Lord and Word>69 .
[Footnote: [>61 (Rm.14:1) >62 . (Rm. 14:3,4) >.82 Please
see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >83 Please see Thayer's Lexicon.
>63 . (Rm. 14:13). >.84 Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon.
>64 . (Rm 14:15). >65 (Rm. 14:16,17). >66 (Rm. 14:18,19).
>.85 (Rm. 14:13)Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon. >.86
Please see Thayer's Lexicon. >67 (Rm.14:22). >68 . (Rm.
14:23). >69 . (Rm. 15:1-3)]
But how do these principles apply? Obviously polygyny or concubinage is a
felony to officially marry (by man's laws) more than one woman in terms of
the government's law, public records, inheritance laws and divorce laws in
most Western or industrial nations. Obviously it is socially acceptable,
legal and not a felony in most Asian nations, the Mid East, Africa and
Indian tribes in the Americas. That is as clear as black and white. But
there is a great big
gray area. Many Western states recognize informal marriage (concubinage)
as common law marriages but as soon as they become official they come under
the monogamy laws. But they can live for years in the morally acceptable
informal and unofficial common law status without any illegality.
Under Administrative Law in California, County Welfare officials set up
semi-official marriages with people who live together without being
married where one or both parties could still be legally married to others.
Administrative Welfare law recognizes them as a semi-married couple and
will grant them AFDC aid and even help them get divorces so they can
eventually marry IF THEY WISH. With the state's approval they live
together as a family sometimes for years, but they have no IRS rights, or
inheritance rights or marital tax status from the state as a married
couple. It is legal and approved of by state law.
California's courts have also established palimony rights where they
protect the covenant/contractual rights of people living in unofficial
marriage or concubinage. While they have no official tax status or
inheritance rights the courts have established that a marital relationship
and the members of that relationship have protection under the law in terms
of their covenants, contracts, vows, espousal or betrothal. The courts
have awarded "palimony", property and child custody rights in and from
these relationships. The new
no-discrimination-against-one's-sexual-orientation laws protect those who
practice informal contractual polygyny or concubinage.
Since God prescribes no "wedding ceremony", ritual, vows or rite>87 to make
two people married, leaving it to the local churches to have their own
redeemed local and indigenous marital customs>88 . The vows, covenants,
betrothals and prenuptial contracts seem to be covered by God's standards
in the following:
[Footnote: >87 See appendix #4 . >.88 See appendix #4 .]
MKJV EZEKIEL 16: 3 "And say, So says the Lord Jehovah to Jerusalem, . . . 8
And I passed by you and looked on you, and, behold, your time [was] the
time of love. And I spread my skirt over you and covered your nakedness.
And I swore to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord
Jehovah. And you became Mine."
MKJV MALACHI 2:14 "Yet you say, Why? Because the LORD has been witness
between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt
treacherously; yet she [is] your companion and your covenant wife. 15 And
did He not make [you] one? Yet the vestige of the Spirit [is in] him. And
what [of] the one? He was seeking a godly seed. Then guard your spirit, and
do not act treacherously with the wife of your youth. 16 The LORD, the God
of Israel, says He hates sending away; and to cover [with] violence on his
garment, says the LORD of hosts. Then guard your spirit, and do not act
treacherously." Here "act treacherously" means " break covenant" or "fail
to honor your covenant/commitment".
MKJV ECCLES. 5:4 �" When you vow a vow to God, do not wait to pay it. For
He has no pleasure in fools. Pay that which you have vowed. 5 [it is]
better that you should not vow, than that you should vow and not pay. 6 Do
not allow your mouth to cause your flesh to sin; do not say before the
angel that it [was] an error. Why should God be angry at your voice and
destroy the work of your hands? "
MKJV PSALM 15:1 � "A Psalm of David. LORD, who shall dwell in Your
tabernacle? . . . 2 He who walks uprightly, and works righteousness, and
speaks the truth in his heart; . . . [he] has sworn to his hurt, and does
not change it; 5. . . He who does these [things] shall not be moved
forever."
MKJV ROMANS 1:28 "And even as they did not think fit to have God in [their]
knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do the things not
right, 29 being filled with all unrighteousness . . . 31 . . .
covenant-breakers. . . 32 who, knowing the righteous order of God, that
those practicing such things are worthy of death, not only do them, but
have pleasure in those practicing [them]."
It is the treachery of breaking marital covenants that God condemns in
these passages and that which he hates. "Yes, I swore an oath to you and
entered into covenant with you, and you became Mine," says the Lord God>70
We become a part of the bride of Christ in the same way. The Spirit
considered Mary and Joseph as husband and wife on the basis of their
espousal/betrothal/ covenants even before the wedding and the coming
together>71.
[Footnote: >70 (Ezek. 16:8). >71 (Mat. 1:18-25 ;Deut. 22:23-27)]
So why can't two Christians exchange espousal/betrothal covenants and
become each other's marital partners without a formal marriage which would
be illegal? Of course they can since common law marriages are legally
acceptable in most of America's states and in most of the countries of the
world. But should they? We are bound by our covenants and God makes it
clear He has no pleasure in the fools who break them >72 . We enter into
the gray zone of the liberty we have in Christ>73 that is limited by the
cords of Agape love. Yes two Christians could exchange their vows/
covenants without a formal/legal wedding day but if they became involved in
intimacy and that intimacy became an offense or stumbling block to another
saint it would be sin and could destroy the work of Christ in another or
embolden a weak one to be intimate contrary to his/her conscience>74 . So
is such intimacy a sin between two Christians who have solemnly and
formally covenanted before God that they are maritally one flesh as long as
they both live? It is neither illegal nor sinful but it becomes sin if it
stumbles, offends, grieves another in Christ> 75 .
[Footnote: >72 (Eccles. 5:5; Psalm 15). >73 (Rom 14). >74
(l Cor. 8 & 10). >75 (Rom. 14; 1 Cor. 8 & 10).]
But what about the command in Romans 14 that states that if you have a
solid controversial conviction from the Word, have it to yourself before
God? Happy is the one who does not condemn himself in what he approves>76
But woe to him if he does it with doubts or offense to another in
Christ. So it seems to be with post covenant but pre-wedding day
intimacy. It seems to be the same case with polygyny / concubinage. Do
you practice/believe in
polygyny /concubinage? Have it and do so privately and very discreetly
before God. Happy is the one who does not condemn one's self in what he
approves in the liberty of Christ. But she who practices/believes in
polygyny /concubinage with doubts is condemned if she indulges because she
does not practice it out of conviction from the Spirit and the Word.
polygyny/concubinage is indeed pure, but it is evil to practice it if it
stumble, offends,
grieves or weakens your brethren in Christ>77 .
[Footnote: >76 (Rom 14:22,23). >77 (Rom. 14; 1 Cor. 8 & 10)]
Foreign Christian polygynists visiting Western monogamous societies
encounter a special challenge. Spiritual and Godly Christians would be
able to handle it well and in the Lord, but the unsaved, the carnal, the
Spiritual milk drinkers, the legalists, the ignorant, and those weak of
conscience would all have varying problems with a Christian polygynist and
his wives visiting their Western/Occidental church>78 . The visiting
Christian polygynist should do all within his power to not let his liberty
hinder the
effectiveness of his testimony and witness to these people, if they would
be willing to receive it.
[Footnote: >78 (1 Cor. 8 & 10; Rom. 14 & 15)]
Hopefully mercy and compassion would move the Christian polygynist to not
flaunt his polygyny in the face of such "Christians" even though they are
so unlike Christ. Mercy would move the polygynist to not lay a heavier
burden on the weak than they can bear, not wanting their liberty to cause
their weak brethren to fall into sin. Compassion would move the
polygynists to be sensitive to the weakness and doubts of the weak saints.
Obviously the
polygynist would not be an official leader in the church and would not be
visiting local churches as a leader/elder/deacon/ bishop/ overseer/etc.>79
Ideally the local saints would be bearing the fruits of the Spirit and
receive such foreign visitors with mercy and compassion. If they agreed
and were able>80 for a short while to be separated, the polygynist could
visit the Western church bringing one or none of his wives so as to reduce
the controversy. The same would be true of a polygynist wife visiting the
West without her husband, under the rule of 1 Cor. 7:4,5.
[Footnote: >79 (1 Tim. 3 and Ti. 1). >80 (1 Cor. 7:5)]
MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 "The wife does not have authority over [her] own body,
but the husband. And likewise also the husband does not have power [over
his] own body, but the wife. 5 Do not deprive one another, unless [it is]
with consent for a time, so that you may [give yourselves to] fasting and
prayer. And come together again so that Satan does not tempt you for your
incontinence."
XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY
>1. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church, Vol. IV; edited by Philip Schaff (D.d., LL.D.); W.B. Eerdmans
Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956
>2. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church, Vol. V; edited by Philip Schaff (D.d., LL.D.); ; W.B. Eerdmans
Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956; p. 267
>3. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church, Vol. VIII; edited by Philip Schaff (D.d., LL.D.) and Henry Wace
(D.D.) ; W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956
>4. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The Christian
Church, Vol. XIV; edited by Philip Schaff (D.D., LL.D.) and Henry Wace
(D.D.) ; W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956
>5. Amplified Bible, The; 1965, Zondervan Publishing House
>6. ANALYTICAL GREEK LEXICON, THE: Harper & Brothers, New York
>7. Arndt & Gingrich: A GREEK-ENGLISH LEXICON OF THE NEW TESTAMENT and
Other Early Christian Literature ; By W.F.Arndt & F. W. Gingrich; The
Univ. of Chicago Press, Chicago, Ill.; Cambridge at the Univ. Press.; 1957
>8. ASV: The Holy Bible, American Standard Version 1901 & 1929; Thomas
Nelson & Sons, New York
>9. Gold Cord, by Amy Carmichael, Christian Literature Crusade, Fort
>Worthington, Penna.; London's Society for the Promotion of Christian
>Knowledge, Holy Trinity Church, Marylebone Rd., N.W. (N.Y. The Macmillan
>Company).
>10. CUSTOMS AND CULTURES, Anthropology for Christian Missions, by Eugene
>A. Nida1954, Harper & Brothers, New York
>11. Darby's 1890 translation: Most of the scriptures quoted in this work, if
not otherwise indicated, are from the a modernized version of J. N. Darby's
translation, the OnLine Bible computer program of "Online Bible f ", Ken
Hammil 1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail:
[email protected]].
>12. DIVORCE, John Murray, Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Co. \
>13. G. Duty's book on divorce and remarriage , Downers Grove, Ill.
>14. HASTING'S DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; 1989, Hendrickson Publishers,
Inc., Peabody, Mass;, Editor James Hastings, DD.,
>15. I LOVED A GIRL; Walter Trobisch, Inter-Varsity Press, Downers Grove, Ill.
>16. INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY, THE; Editor, F.F.Bruce; 1979;
>Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids Michigan.
>17. Jay Adam's' book on divorce and remarriage
>18. JEWISH: The Holy Scriptures according to the Masoretic Text, 1955,
>The Jewish Publication Society.
>19. KINSHIP & MARRIAGE, Robin Fox, 1967, Penguin Books, Inc., USA & England
>20. LAMSA: The Holy Bible from Ancient Eastern Manuscripts, 1940, Holman
>Co., by G. Lamsa.
>21. MARRIAGE EAST AND WEST; David & Vera Mace, 1960, Dolphin Books,
Double Day & Co., Inc. Garden City, NY
>22.MARRYING AGAIN; David Hocking, 1977, Fleming H. Revell Co.
>23. MKJV: MODERN KING JAMES VERSION, 1993, by Jay P. Green Sr., in Online
>Bible 2.5.1; the OnLine Bible computer program of "Online Bible f ", Ken
>Hammil 1- 908-741-4298; [E-Mail:
[email protected]].
>24. MY WIFE MADE ME A POLYGAMIST; Walter Trobisch, 1971, Inter-Varsity Press,
>25. NASB: Holy Bible New American Standard; Broadman & Holman Publishers,
>Nashville Tenn.; The Lockman Foundation, 1977
>26. NEB: NEW ENGLISH BIBLE, 1970; Oxford/Cambridge University Press
>27. NEW BIBLE DICTIONARY, THE; Editor J.D.Douglas Ph.D; 1962; W. B.
>Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids, Mich.
>28. NEW TESTAMENT GREEK FOR BEGINNERS, By, J. Gresham Machen, D.D, Litt.
>D.,1959
>29. NIV: "Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION.
>Copyright @ 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society." Used as
>required by Zondervan Bible Publishers.
>30. NKJV: New King James Version, 1984, Thomas Nelson, Inc.
>31. OnLine Bible computer program of "Online Bible f ", Ken Hammil
>1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail:
[email protected]].
>32. PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE LOVE ME!; Walter Trobisch, Inter-Varsity Press,
>33. St. Augustin: On The Trinity; translated by Arthur West Haddan, B.D.;
>W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956
>34. Strong's Lexicon, Open Bible "Online Bible f", Ken Hammil 1-908-741-
4298. Also Baker Book House, Grand Rapids, Mich.
>35. Thayer: Greek English Lexicon of the New Testament; Joseph Henry
>Thayer, D.D.; American Book Co., New York, 1889
>36. The Septuagint of the Old Testament and Apocrypha With an English
Translation; Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan; 1972;
Samuel Bagster & Sons, Ltd. London
>37. WOMEN'S LIVES IN MEDIEVAL EUROPE - A SOURCEBOOK; Edited by Emile
>Amt; Routledge, Chapman, Hall; NY, NY; 1993
>38. Wuest's THE NEW TESTAMENT, An Expanded Translation, Kenneth S. Wuest, 1961
>39. YLT; Young's Literal Translation, 1898: OnLine Bible computer program
>of "Online Bible f ", Ken Hammil 1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail:
>
[email protected]].
TOPICS: FOREVER MARRIAGES CROSS CULTURALLY, FORMAL AND INFORMAL CHRISTIAN
MARRIAGE, COMMON LAW MARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN DIVORCE, CHRISTIAN REMARRIAGE,
CHRISTIAN CONCUBINES, CHRISTIAN POLYGYNY (POLYGAMY), RACISM,
ETHNOCENTRICITY, AND THE SWEARING OF OATHS
TITLE: DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, & JESUS; Another Look for Christians.
COPYRIGHT � JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved.
Copyright � 01/14/'95; 01/12/'96 (Revised)
This file, in its entirety, may be posted on or copied off of computer
networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so inclined.
This is an ASCII text only copy of a Macintosh MicrosoftWord5 file made for
non-Macintosh folks, so it is very plain and basic in its form (footnotes,
indentation and page layout). The document is 6" wide and Palatino 12
plain font in the original. So when your text only version comes up with
Palatino 14, just select all and change it to Palatino 12 or 10. There are
no bold or underline options. The distinctions between footnotes of
sources and footnotes of reference are lost. So please be patient with the
footnote numbering. The footnotes are put at the end of the paragraphs
instead of in the text itself, making it more readable. You may find extra
>'s and some >'s where r's should be. Didn't get to proof that far yet.
Please be patient.
By L. Tyler P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763
[email protected]
TABLE OF CONTENTS (These page numbers are correct with Palatino 14 ,left
and right margins of 1.25"each, and top and bottom margins at 1" each.)
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES RECONSIDERED. P. 4
II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. P. 8
III. DIVORCE DEFINED. P. 23
IV. VARIETIES OF MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE, OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS -- LET
THE WORD SPEAK ABOUT POLYGYNY AND CONCUBINES! P. 25
V. WHAT DO CHRISTIAN LEADERS SAY ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY? P. 50
VI. ADULTERY DEFINED: A SURPRISE! ISN'T POLYGYNY ADULTERY? P. 66
VII. SO, WHAT ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY TODAY IN MY COUNTRY? P. 73
VIII. ARE POLYGYNISTS AND CONCUBINES LIVING IN ERROR TODAY? P. 82
IX. MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL LIBERTY AND A LOVING
CONSCIENCE! P. 87
X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND ADULTERY? P. 91
XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER & REMMARY AFTER ADULTEROUS REMARRIAGE? P. 99
XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS INVOLVED IN SUCH REUNIONS? P. 108
XIII. CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE, VOWS AND REPENTANCE RESULT IN
POLYGYNY/CONCUBINAGE? P. 112
XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY AND THE UNSAVED. P. 119
XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD WIVES/CONCUBINES TO HIS "HAREM". P. 121
XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES OPTIONS FOR THE ABANDONED MAN? P. 126
XVII. POLYGYNISTS, CONCUBINES AND THE LEADERS OF GOD'S PEOPLE. P. 129
XVIII. POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES AND THE WESTERN CHRISTIAN WOMAN. P. 130
XIX. WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLYANDRY? P. 134
XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT-TEACHERS RULE .P. 137
XXI. THREE CHEERS FOR MONOGAMY! THE BEST FOR MOST! P. 141
XXII. LISTEN TO THE WORD! P. 145
XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY P. 147
APPENDIX ONE -- WHAT ABOUT INTERRACIAL AND INTERETHNIC MARRIAGE? P.150
APPENDIX TWO -- WHAT DO YOU THINK? THE FEEDING OF TWO LEGGED OXEN. P.157
APPENDIX THREE -- A WEDDING COVENANT FOR NONSWEARERS - P. 159
APPENDIX FOUR -- WHAT MAKES A WEDDING/MARRIAGE? - P. 161
APPENDIX FIVE -- MARRYING THE UNSAVED AND "SAINTS" LIVING IN ERROR. - P.163
APPENDIX SIX -- WHEN DO I HAVE TO MARRY? - P. 167
APPENDIX SEVEN -- THE ERRR OF SWEARING, OF OATHS AND SWEARING OATHS. -P.182
RELATED THOUGHTS AND ISSUES FROM THE PARENT FILE
Since the harlot is one flesh with every fornicator she has sexual union
with and the husband is one flesh with his wife, the "one flesh" principle
is not unique to marriage and cannot be an argument for monogamy or against
polygyny . The "one flesh" principle is physical reality that describes
only the result of sexual union, whether it involve a harlot, a fornicator,
a married couple or a polygamous marriage. David, Israel and Abraham were
"one flesh" with each of their wives, just as the adulteress of Prov. 6 & 7
was one flesh with each of her adulterers. Under the Law by Moses, being
"one flesh" could have been the basis for marriage>11 but not so for us
after the Sinai Law of Moses was declared voided in Eph. 2 and Col. 2,
especially in the case of 1 Cor. 7:9; 1 Tm. 5:11-14. If we do not control
ourselves today, we are commanded to marry>12 , but who to marry is not
specified, only that your mate be saved>13 and godly>14.
[Footnotes: >11 (Deut. 22:22-30; Ex. 22:16,17). >12 1 Cor. 7:9,36; 1
Tim 5:14; Appendix Six of this document. >13. 2 Corinthians 6. .>14
1 Corinthians 5:9-11; 2 Thess. 3:6-14]
The woman's repentance option explains the "double standard" and apparent
inequity of 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 where it appears that the woman who has
left her husband has the repentance option of remaining single but the man
must never leave his wife. If a wife left her husband according to 1 Cor.
7:11, he would immediately be put in the hazardous position of 1 Corinth
7:1-5, being tempted to sin because his wife will not give him the marital
sexual outlet since she is gone. It seemed to me to be quite unfair that
she could leave him and live unmarried, and he, knowing he is still bound
to her for life, has to struggle with the burning temptations predicted in
1 Corinth. 7:1-5, 9 with no legitimate sexual outlet.
Then I realized that 1 Corinth. 7:1-5 predicted his need of marital
intimacy, how Satan would use the wife's absence to tempt him, how marital
intimacy is the prescription to avoid Satan's temptations, and then the
command in verse 9 plainly commands the one to marry who is failing to
have successful self-control>100 . Then I realized that the polygyny
option balanced the equation. The wife could leave her husband and remain
single and the husband who was still bound to such a departed wife seems to
have had a Biblical option of polygyny / concubinage, (depending on the
laws of his land) if he found himself tempted and burning as in 1 Cor. 7:5,
9,12. She could leave and he could remarry becoming a polygamist and the
inequity was gone. She could separate and remain single, and he could
remarry as long as he recognized that he was still bound to his separated
wife.
[Footnote: >100 See Appendix Six.]
So the divorce is only a legal recognition of the wife's departure and
unwillingness to be reconciled, while he still publicly recognizes the
binding nature of their relationship. Then he remarries another
Christian because his burning and his 1 Cor. 7:5 predicted failures to
control himself bring him under the command to marry in l Cor. 7:9,36 (NIV
& Amplified "they should marry"),
1 Cor. 7:36 (NIV "They should get married);
1 Tim 5:14 (NIV "So I counsel younger widows to marry.."
Amplified "So I would have younger [widows] marry..") and
1 Thess 4:3-8 (NIV "that each of you should learn to control his own body
in a way that is holy and honorable . . ..") >101
[Footnote>101 Please see Appendix Six; NIV , NEW INTERNA-TIONAL VERSION. ]
Seeing her brother-husband in need, she shuts up her feelings of
compassion>88 . But in the meantime she has killed his affections for her
by her words and deeds and his affection goes unanchored now. She refuses
to welcome his affectionate and intimate touch in disobedience to the
Word>89 . As predicted, Theo is being sexually tempted by Satan and
Theo finds himself burning and sometimes failing >90 to control himself
when exposed to things like pornography. Tempted, burning and sometimes
failing to control himself, Theo finds himself under the command to marry
(be having his own wife)>n89. Safronia refuses to help him meet his needs,
and he can't divorce her because she claims to be saved >91 . Since she
cares not for affection with him, he might exercise his liberty to have a
concubine in the manner of Romans 14. If his faith allows him to have a
concubine but having a concubine would grieve, offend and/or stumble
someone, perhaps even his Arctic wife, then wouldn't he have to exercise
his faith's personal liberty by having his concubine privately and
discretely between himself, her and God so as not to let his liberty offend
the Body of Christ.
[Footnote: >88 (1 John 3:14-18). >89 (1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5).
>90 (1 Cor. 7:9, see Appendix 6). >.n89 See Appendix Six.
>91 (1 Cor.7:10,11,39; Mark 10:1-12).]
He could be moved by her plight and pray for an unencumbered husband for
her. But if God doesn't provide another and the sister is burning, having
great trouble with and almost succumbing to temptations, his continued
prayer alone would be empty piety like in the following:
MKJV JAMES 2: 14 � "My brothers, what profit [is it] if a man says he has
faith and does not have works? Can faith save him?15 If a brother or sister is
naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and if one of you says to them, Go in
peace, be warmed and filled, but you do not give them those things which are
needful to the body, what good [is it]? 17 Even so, if it does not have works,
faith is dead, being by itself."
He would seem to be compelled to intervene, offering himself in marriage to
her as he desires anyway, to enable her to obey God's solution for her
problem>101 . This could even be the case if his chastely separated and
divorced "Christian"" wife was carnal and too selfish/rebellious to be
moved by her plight and 1 John 3:17 to approve of her divorced Christian
man's plan to marry her. You don't let the saint who seeks God's solution
be destroyed because of a carnal saint who resists or refuses compassion
and God's solutions.
[Footnote: >101 (1 Cor. 7:1,2,3,9; see Appendix Six).]
Why would a Western/Occidental woman ever consider polygyny
/concubinage? It is clearly a sin to marry an unsaved person> 104 . She
knows she must not marry an unsaved man>105 or a snared-in-sin "saint">106.
If a Christian woman in a Western church finds the usual shortage of
godly brothers, yet earnestly desires marriage or is commanded to marry>91
she may consider marrying a Christian brother (1) whose "Christian" wife
has divorced him exercising her option>107 to be separate and chaste, or
(2) who sinfully divorced his "Christian" wife who now will not forgive him
or be reconciled to him, exercising her option to be separate and chaste.
[Footnote: >104 (2 Cor. 6 & 7 etc.). >105 (2 Cor. 6:14-7:2).
>106 See Appendix five. >91 See Appendix Six. >107 1 Cor
7:10.]
If this Western Christian sister is burning with passion and not successfully
controlling her passions and/or imagination consistently, she must
marry>92. If she finds herself in repeated defeat morally and spiritually
and the only Christian brother who is available or interested is the one
who is legally divorced from a Christian wife who wants chaste separation
without
reconciliation, the choice to marry in Biblical polygyny would be more
acceptable than continued burning and moral defeats. It is clearly a sin to
marry an unsaved>#5 or backslidden Christian>108 . It is not a sin to
exercise personal liberty in Christ in covenanted polygyny .Yes, the polygyny
of being married to a divorced Christian man who is bound for life to his
former wife who left/ divorced him and refuses to be reconciled to him,
exercising her option of chaste separation.
[Footnote: >92See Appendix Six. >#5 See Appendix #5. >108 (l
Cor. 5:11; 2 Thess 3:6,14).]
