I'M YOUNG AND BURNING WITH SEXUAL DESIRE AND SEXUAL
TORMENT.  WHEN DO I HAVE TO MARRY?   WHEN MUST WE
MARRY? WHAT ABOUT PORN?  WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THE
BURNING?
COPYRIGHT � JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved.
Copyright � 01/14/'95; 01/12/�96  (Revised)
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By Lee Tyler   P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763
 (ruth#1 lee#2) = [email protected]      [email protected]

For more information/material, please request it from the above or
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location: pub/Politics/Essays
title: divorce.remarriage.concubines.jesus

I submit the following as the results of my own struggle with these
issues.  I'm a high testosterone (blood level) male who thinks that
women are God's masterpiece in creation, made to be adored and
compassionately cherished.  Scripture is scripture, and everything else
below should be tried and tested before being accepted (1 thess. 5:21).
Walk in God's tradition, not in man's tradition. (Mark 7).
Before we look at when we  must marry, let�s find out the meaning of
�sexual immorality� or �fornication� which god by paul indicates is the
main reason for the need of marriage (1 COR. 7:1,2).

JESUS AND THE APOSTLES TOOK THE  SAME OLD TESTAMENT
HEBREW AND GREEK (LXX) WORDS FOR
IMMORALITY/FORNICA-TION AND USED THEM IN THE NEW
TESTAMENT GREEK WITHOUT CHANGING THEIR MEANINGS.
HE DID CHANGE THEIR PENALTIES/ PUNISHMENTS IN THIS LIFE
ON EARTH.  Matt. 5:17 � Think not that I am come to make void the
law or the prophets; I am not come to make void, but to fulfil. 18  For
verily I say unto you, Until the heaven and the earth pass away, one
iota or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law till all come to pass.
19  Whosoever then shall do away with one of these least
commandments, and shall teach men so, shall be called least in the
kingdom of the heavens; but whosoever shall practise and teach
[them], *he* shall be called great in the kingdom of the heavens.  Matt.
23: 1 � Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to his disciples, 2  saying,
The scribes and the Pharisees have set themselves down in Moses' seat:
3  all things therefore, whatever they may tell you, do and keep. But do
not after their works, for they say and do not,

***Sexual sin includes the following: (1) Pressing/handling/embracing
the genitals, a breast and/or breast-nipple of a female who is not your
wife or by a male who is not your husband; (2) Coition/genital-to-
genital connection with someone who is not your husband/wife;(3)
Genital connection with orgasm with someone who is not your
husband/wife; (4) A "lover/ paramour" seeing the genitals of the
female he is involved with and she is not his wife.
Ezekiel 23:2  "Son of man, there were two women, daughters of one
mother. 3  And they did sexual sin in Egypt; they did sexual sin in their
youth: there were their breasts pressed, and there were handled the
nipples of their virginity. . . . .  8  Neither left she her sexual sin
[brought] from Egypt; for in her youth they had lain with her, and had
handled the breasts of her virginity, and poured their fornication upon
her. 21  And you did look back to the lewdness of your youth, in the
handling of your nipples by the Egyptians, for the breasts of your youth.
Proverbs 5:18  Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of
your youth.  19  [Let her be as] the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her
breasts satisfy you at all times; and be ravished
[enraptrured/intoxicated] always with her [erotic] love. 20  And why
will you, my son, be ravished [enraptrured/intoxicated] with some
other woman, and embrace the bosom of an alien stranger?  21  For the
ways of man [are] before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all his
goings. 22  His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he
shall be held with the cords of his sins."
Please read all of Ezekiel 16, Ezekiel 23 with 1 Corinthians 6.

***Pressing/handling/embracing a female's breast and/or breast-
nipple, coition/genital-to-genital connection,  genital connection with
orgasm OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN MARRIAGE IS UNACCEPTABLE
TO GOD AND ETERNAL LIFE. Exodus 22:16 � And if a man seduce a
virgin who is not covenanted-to-marry, and lie [in genital connection]
with her, he shall certainly endow her to be his wife. 17  If her father
utterly refuse to give her unto him [as wife], he shall weigh money
according to the dowry of virgins.
Deut. 22:25  But if a man find a covenanted-to-marry young woman in
the field, and the man force her, and lie [in genital connection] with
her; then the man only that lay [in genital connection] with her shall
die: 26  But unto the young woman you shall do nothing; [there is] in
the young woman no sin [worthy] of death; for as when a man rises
against his neighbour, and slays him, even so [is] this matter: 27  For he
found her in the field, [and] the covenanted-to-marry young woman
cried, and [there was] no one to save her. 28  If a man find a young
woman [who is] a virgin, who is not covenanted-to-marry, and lay
hold on her, and lie [in genital connection] with her and they be found
[by man or God]; 29  Then the man who lay [in genital connection] with
her shall give unto the young woman's father fifty [shekels] of silver,
and she shall be his wife; because he  humbled her, he may not put her
away all his days.
PROVERBS 5, 6, &7 on premarital &/or extramarital sex.
Lev. 18:20  And you shall not lie [in genital connection] with your
neighbour's wife, to become unclean [by orgasm/adultery] with her.
1 Corinthians 6:9 � Do you not know that unrighteous [persons] shall
not inherit [the] kingdom of God? Do not err: neither fornicators >*,
nor idolaters, nor adulterers >~ , ...shall inherit [the] kingdom of God. . .
13  ... the body [is] not for sexual sin, but for the Lord, and the Lord for
the body. 15  Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?
Shall I then, taking the members of the Christ, make [them] members
of a female who does sexual sin? Far be the thought. 16  Do you not
know that he [that is] joined to the female who does sexual sin is one
body? for the two, he says, shall be one flesh. 17  But he that [is] joined
to the Lord is one Spirit. 18  Flee sexual sin. Every sin which a man
may practice is without the body, but he that commits sexual sin, sins
against his own body...
[Footnotes>*=those who press/handle/embrace a female's breast
and/or breast-nipple,  and/or have coition/genital-to-genital
connection,  and/or genital connection with orgasm OUTSIDE
OF/WITHOUT MARRIAGE .
>~=males who press/handle/embrace the breast/nipple of another
male's female, and/or have genital connection  with another male's
female;  or females who let another male besides her own male
press/handle/embrace their breast/nipple and or have genital
connection with them]

1 Thess 4:1 � Furthermore, then, my brothers, we beseech you and
exhort
[you] in [the] Lord Jesus, that, as you have received of us how you
ought to walk and to please God, so you would abound more [and
more].  2 For we know what commandments we gave you by the Lord
Jesus.  3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification, that you should
abstain from fornication>^,  4 each one of you should know how to
know how to possess his vessel.
[Footnote:>^=Pressing/handling/embracing a female's breast and/or
breast-nipple, coition/genital-to-genital connection,  genital connection
with orgasm OUTSIDE OF YOUR OWN MARRIAGE]

OTHER  POSSIBLE TRANSLATIONS PUT FORTH BY OTHERS :
       1:  . . .�know that he is to  procure his own vessel [wife] in
[personal]
holiness and honor, not in the passion of inordinate desire . . .�
       2. ..� learn to control his own body .. or . .�learn to live with his
own wife; or . . .�learn to acquire a wife . . .
       3.   � know how to possess [control, manage] his own  body (in
purity, separated from things progfane, and) in consecration and
honor.".1b in sanctification and honor  5 (not in the passion of lust,
even as the nations
who know not God) ,  6 not to go beyond and defraud >1c        his
brother in this matter, because the Lord [is the] avenger concerning all
these, as we also have forewarned you and testified.  7 For God has not
called us to uncleanness, but unto sanctification.  8 He, therefore, who
despises, does not despise man but God, who also has given unto us
His Holy Spirit.
[Footnote: >1c This probably refers to adultery, defrauding your brother
by
adultery with his wife.]

IS IT PORNOGRAPHY (WHORE PHOTOS)? IS IT WRONG (SIN)?

       1. IF YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE BEING SEXUALLY
INTIMATE AND THEY ARE NOT MARRIED TO EACH OTHER,
THEN GET RID OF IT (1 THESS 5:21). To enjoy or delight in their
fornication is to  applaud, approve of or consent to those who do the
sinful actions, making you worthy of death.   (Rom. 1:32)
       2. Is the genital and/or anus exposed???  Ezek. ch. 16 and ch. 23
with Phil. 4:8 and  �I will set no vile thing before my eyes�
psa,101:3==YOU DON�T BUY/GET IT or set it before your eyes   DON�T
LOOK AT ANY PICTURES OF THoSE WHO DO SUCH SINS, NO
PICTURES OF PEOPLE WITH EXPOSED GENITALS, OF
EXTRAMARITAL SEX, OF LESBIANISM!     Psalm 101:3,4; Phil. 4:8
       3. DON�T GO TO/ASSOCIATE/FELLOWSHIP WITH IMMORAL
PEOPLE who want to have sexual intimacy with each other or you
outside of marriage. DON�T BE ALONE WITH IMMORAL PEOPLE
who want to have sexual intimacy with you outside of marriage.    2
Cor. 6:14-7:1; 1 Cor. 5:9-11; Proverbs chapters 5,6 & 7; ROM. 13:14
       4. GET RID OF ANY PICTURES, magazines, videos, addresses,
phone #�s OR ETC. THAT TEMPT YOU TO DO SIN, OR CAUSE YOU
TO SIN. Rom. 13:14; 2 Timothy 2:19-22
       5. KEEP YOURSELF FROM THEIR SINFUL ACTIONS AND
HAVE NO PLEASURE IN THOSE WHO DO SUCH SINFUL ACTIONS,
and so escape death. Do not applaud, approve of or consent to thOSE
who do sinful actions.  (Rom. 1:32;Psa. 15:4)
       6. GET RID OF ANYTHING THAT IS CLEARLY AND PLAINLY
SINFUL, FORBIDDEN, STUMBLING YOU, OFFENDING YOU,
GRIEVING YOU.  2 Cor. 7; Rom. 13:14; 2 Timothy 2:19-22
       7. Are they naked in public, IN magazines, in photos for the
public? It is not enough if the nude model is careful not to let her
vagina, labia, and anus be seen.  God didn�t have nude Eve just be
careful to keep her legs and buns closed and her hand over her vagial
labia.  God clothed her, covering her vagina, vaginal labia and anus
with something in addition to her pubic and anal hair and hand.  It
goes to the �naked and bare� shame of Ezek 16 and 23 where public
nudity, bareness, exposure of vaginal labia and anus---are a shame and
a disgrace, a punishable offense in the eyes of God. Definitely not a Phil.
4:8 for a believer. Gen. 3 God wants our nakedness (genitalia) clothed in
public and in public photos.Gen.3;Matt. 25:36; Rev. 3:17
       8. �They exchanged the truth of God for a lie... Because of this,
God gave them over to shameful lusts...
Although they know God�s righteous decree that those who do such
things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things
but also approve** of those who practice them.� Romans 1
**=applaud, have pleasure in, agree with.
You don�t want to be found approving, applauding, pleasuring in or
agreeing with the vile doers or their vile deeds unless you want to
share their death. (Psa. 15:4; 101:3,4)

A CHECK OFF LIST

__ 1. Do the women involved open their feet/legs/thighs to show
their genitals publicly? One who does this is �lewd�,
�weak of heart�, and does the �work of a whore�, a vile person to be
condemned [psa. 15:4].EZ 16 & 23. GET RID OF IT!    Rom. 13:14; 2
Timothy 2:19-22
___ 2. Do they scorn pay/reward for sex sin acts, and/or even pay &/or
reward their lovers for their sex? Then they are whores. Ez 16
       DON�T GO TO,watch or enjoy THEM. Romans 1:32
___ 3. Do they accept salary/pay/reward for acts of sexual sin?
Pornography stars, models, people are harlots and vile. Ez 16  DON�T
GO TO,watch,or enjoy THEM! Psalm 15:4
___ 4. Are they having sex with someone else besides their mate? This
is adultery/fornication and worthy of death/ Hell (Rom. 1:32). EZ 16
DON�T GO TO, watch or enjoy THEM!
___ 5. Do they have sex with others than their own mates insatiably?
They are  vile and whores worthy of death (Rom 1:32; 1 Cor. 6). Ez 16
DON�T GO TO, watch or enjoy THEM!  Psalm 101:3,4
___ 6. Are they involved in breast pressing and breast/ labia handling
by others than their own mates?  Proverbs 5, Ezekiel 16 & 23.   Whores
and the vile do this and are worthy of death (Rom 1:32). It is
fornication and those who keep on doing it shall not inherit the
kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6).      KEEP YOURSELF FROM THEIR
SINFUL ACTIONS AND HAVE NO PLEASURE IN them or THEIR
SINFUL ACTIONS.
___7. Do you want to do sinful things in your mind with the people in
the pictures? You are snared by the Evil and are worthy of death.  Ezek.
23:14-16; Matt. 5 KEEP YOURSELF FROM them and THOSE PICTURES.
___ 8. Do they make public (in magazines, adds, movies, on the street)
their whorish behavior? Ez. 23:16-18
___9. Do they make public their genitals/labia? EZ. 23:16-18    Don�t
enjoy them or their immodesty even in the pictures where their
genitals are covered because covered or uncovered they are still them
and they are to be avoided and scornfully despised but prayed for (1
Tim 2:1; Psalm 15:4; 2 Cor. 6:14-7:1).
___10. Are they naked in public, in photos for the public? Gen. 3
God wants our genitals clothed in public and in public photos.Gen.3
Matt. 25:36; Rev. 3:17  COVER THEIR NAKEDNESS? That is NOT
ENOUGH BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL THOSE WHO DO SUCH
THINGS AND YOU MUST NOT TAKE PLEASURE IN THEM. Don�t
enjoy them or their immodest EVEN IF THEIR GENITALS are
covered.  Rom.1:32
___11. Did God tell them to be naked in public? Apparently a male
prophet can be naked publicly if God tells you to do so.Isaiah 20
___12. Do they uncover their buts/bottoms so they are naked publicly?
It is a shame before God. Isa. 20:2-4 ___14. Does they show off,
pridefully display their genitals?     PHILIPPIANS 3:19 with Ezek. 16 and
23.  Don�t enjoy them, for they are to be rebuked and scornfully
despised, but prayed for.
___13. Does she dress or undress in such a place/way to stumble,
tempt, offend someone? Stay away from her and keep her stuff away
from you. Prov. 5 & 6 & 7; Rom. 14 + 1 Tim. 2:9,10
___14. Do you obey God by not setting before your eyes  anything
that is, according to God, worthless or evil or wicked or ungodly--- like
pictures of vile people showing their genitals &/or immorality? Do
you, even if they are clothed decently and presentably, whether or not
you/they have covered their genitals?   Psa. 101:3;     Phil. 4:8
___15. Do you understand that a person is body, soul and spirit (1
Thes. 5:23)?  Do you understand that this       means that you are to
scornfully despise the body, soul and spirit of the vile/ wicked/ evil
person who      does sexual sin? (Psalm 15:4; 101:3,4)
___16. Do you understand that even if you can�t see their faces, even if
you don�t know WHO they are, that God
       wants you to scornfully despise their bodies, whatever part of
them you can see, while you pray for them?
       1 Tim 2:1  Psalm 15:4
___17..DO YOU SET NO WICKED THING BEFORE YOUR EYES AS
YOU WOULD HAVE TO IN ORDER TO CENSOR IT? No? I have a
woman do it? Then I have caused her to set a wicked thing before her
eyes and she could get hooked on it.  I do it in the dark without my
glasses so I can�t really see it? THE QUESTION IS NOT �CAN YOU SEE
THEM IN THEIR SIN?� BUT DO YOU SET THE WICKED PEOPLE
DOING THEIR THING BEFORE YOUR EYES?  YES YOU DO SET THE
WICKED PEOPLE DOING THEIR WICED SIN BEFORE  YOUR EYES
WHEN YOU CENSOR/EDIT THEIR PICTURES.
SO YOU MUST NOT SET PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURES BEFORE
YOUR EYES EVEN IF YOU CAN�T SEE CLEARLY BECAUSE OF NO
GLASSES OR BECAUSE OF DARKNESS.
___18. DO YOU HATE THE PORNOGRAPHIC WORK OF THOSE
WHO SHOW GENITALS AND PRACTICE FORNICATION FOR PAY
AND FILMING?  �I cover their genitals, faces and their personhood.�
NOO GOOD BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO SET WICKEDNESS BEFORE
YOUR FACE IN ORDER TO DO THAT.
___19. DO YOU DESPISE THE REPROBATE WHO BARES GENITALS
AND FORNICATES? �I cover their genitals, faces and their
personhood.�  NOO GOOD BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU COVER THEIR
GENITALS THEY ARE STILL THE REPROBATES WHO BARED
THEIR GENITALS AND/OR FORNICATED.
___20. Does the questionable behavior involve hand to genital
behavior?    Apparently you should have hand to genital relations only
with your own mate.
Deut. 25:11 11 KJV When men strive together one with another, and
the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the
hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh
him by the secrets:12 Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall
not pity [her].
DBY 11 When men fight together one with another, and the wife of the
one come near to rescue her husband out of the hand of him that
smiteth him, and stretch out her hand, and seize him by his secret
parts,12 thou shalt cut off her hand; thine eye shall not spare.
MKJV 11 When men strive together with one another, and the wife of
the one draws near to deliver her husband out of the hand of him who
strikes him, and puts forth her hand and takes him by the secret parts,
12 then you shall cut off her hand. Your eye shall not pity.
YLT 11 `When men strive together, one with another, and the wife of
the one hath drawn near to deliver her husband out of the hand of his
smiter, and hath put forth her hand, and laid hold on his secrets,12
then thou hast cut off her hand, thine eye doth not spare.
___21. Are the people doing things that are obviously sinful and
condemned by God (e.g. lesbianism, homosexuality,bestiality, female
with more than one male, sodomy, violence etc.) 1 THESS 5:21
GET RID OF THE STUFF Rom 13:14
___22. Are the people involved doing a sinful act (two unmarried
being intimate, lesbianism) ?                   GET RID OF IT
___23. Do you agree with God honoring those who fear Him and
scornfully despising those vile and depraved    reprobates who sin
by showing their genitals or fornication in public, magazines &/or
videos; whether
       or not they are clothed decently and presentably, whether or not
you/they have   covered         their genitals?         Psalm 15:4
___24. Do you agree with God honoring those who fear Him and
hating the deeds/work of the fallen &/or faithless who sin by showing
their genitals &/or fornication in public, magazines &/or videos? Do
you, even if they are clothed decently and presentably, whether or not
you/they have covered their genitals?   Psalm101:3
____25. Are their vaginas/labias exposed through/in their sex sin? EZ
16:35,36        You shouldn�t even set it before your eyes and do not
delight* in (esteem, admire, applaud, approve of, consent to, agree
with, sympathize with, have a favorable opinion of, have fellowship
with, or accept as satisfactory) the people who do sex sin and/or bare
their genitals? ROM. 1:32
Even if you cover their genitals and their faces, they are still immoral
women who open their legs to show their genitals and you must not
delight* in (esteem, admire, applaud, approve of, consent       to,
agree with, sympathize with, have a favorable opinion of, have
fellowship with, or accept as satisfactory) the people who do sex sin
and/or bare their genitals? ROM. 1:32
___26. Do you agree with God honoring those who fear Him and
scornfully despising those vile and depraved    reprobates who sin
by showing their genitals or fornication in public, magazines &/or
videos? Psalm   15:4
DO YOU CONTEMN THE VILE AND DEPRAVED PERSON WHO
BARES GENITALS AND FORNICATES? [psa. 15:4] �I cover their
genitals, faces and personhood.�  EVEN IF YOU COVER THEIR
GENITALS ETC THEY ARE STILL THOSE WHO DO WICKEDLY.
___27. In contrast to God, do you approve of them (clothed or not)
who sin by shewing their genitals &/or  fornication in public,
magazines, &/or videos? Do you say they are okay? Do you accept them
for your eyes   and soul?  Got a problem![Rom. 1:32,    ANT&NIV]
       ___a. Do you have/express a favorable opinion of them?  Got a
problem!
       ___b. Do you accept them as okay/satisfactory?
       ___c. Do you accept them, giving them your esteem and
admiration?     Got a problem!
___28. In contrast to God, do you applaud those (clothed or not) who
show their genitals &/or fornication in         public, magazines &/or
videos?  Do you express  your approval and delight in them [by arousal,
erection,       orgasm, praise, encouragement, celebration]? Got a
problem![Rom.1:32, ANT]
___29. Do they please you who displease God by showing their genitals
&/or fornication in public,      magazines &/or videos? Do you like
them (clothed or not)? Do they give you pleasure? Do they make you
feel good sexually? Do you take &/or get pleasure in &/or from  them?
[Rom. 1:32, Wuest]
___30. Do you consent to them (clothed or not), making an
emotional/personal commitment/stand for/with them by
       agreeing/yielding/acquiescing to them so that they have access
to your soul/eyes/mind by mags, videos or       etc.? [Rom 1:32, Berk.Int.
+ ASV + AG & TH.
___31.Do you * delight* in (esteem, admire, applaud, approve of,
consent to, agree with, sympathize with, have a favorable opinion of,
have fellowship with, or accept as satisfactory) the people who do sex
sin and/or bare their genitals? ROM. 1:32 No, I cover their faces so so
they are no longer personalities, but just bodies that can�t be identified
as a person.
       *Amp.B: ...but approve & applaud others who practice them.
       *NIV: ...but also approve of those who practice them(ag).
       approve:have or express a favorable opinion of them
       accept them as satisfactory, give them sanction to be esteemed or
admired
       *Peshita:.but also associate with those who practice them
       *ASV:..but also consent with them that practise them.
       *AGTH:are pleased at the same time with those that do them
               are consenting to those that do them (ag)
               are agreeing with those that do them (ag)
               are applauding those that do them
               are sympathizing with those who do them (ag)

*IF YOU KNOW/KNEW SHE BARES/D HER GENITALS
PUBLICLY,THEN YOU MUST NOt
       1.approve of HER OR HER BODY OR desire to do sin with her
       2.express a     favorable opinion of HER OR HER BODY
,       3. accept HER OR HER BODY  as satisfactory,
       4. give sanction to HER OR HER BODY ,
       5. esteem HER OR HER BODY or    admire HER OR HER
BODY....

If you do not approve of what they do, say or practice it would appear
that you are not approving them. NOT NECESSARILY SO.  YOU CAN
STILL ADMIRE SOMEONE AND DESPISE WHAT THEY DO.  If you
have to cover them up before you can approve of them, then you don�t
approve of them showing their nakedness.  If you        withhold your
approval until they are appropriately covered,  then you don�t
appprove of them uncovering and showing themselves. BUT THE
POINT IS, WHETHER THEY ARE COVERED OR NOT, ARE THEY
PEOPLE WHO DO SUCH SIN?  IF THEY ARE SUCH PEOPLE WHO DO
SUCH SIN, THEN YOU MUST NOt approve of them [INCLUDING
THEIR BODIES,  applaud them OR THEIR BODIES, have or express a
favorable opinion of them OR THEIR BODIES, accept them OR THEIR
BODIES as satisfactory, give sanction to them OR THEIR BODIES,
esteem them or THEIR BODIES, OR admire them OR THEIR BODIES.
EVEN IF YOU COVER THEIR FACES/GENITALS IT IS STILL THEM
WHO YOU MUST NOT ACCEPT, ESTEEM, ADMIRE OR ENJOY..
DOES THAT MEAN ESTEEMING OR ADMIRING THEIR BEAUTY?
Remember the Word about lusting after their beauty? �If I cover their
faces it is no longer their beauty, but just a beautiful body belonging to
who knows who?�  YOU KNEW THAT IT WAS A WOMAN WHO
WAS DOING SIN AND EVEN AFTER YOU COVER HER FACE AND
GENITALS YOU STILL KNOW THAT IT WAS A WOMAN DOING
SIN BY SHOWING HER GENITALS/SIN.
*IF YOU KNOW/KNEW SHE IS/WAS A
FORNICATOR/ADULTERESS /HARLOT,
*IF YOU KNOW/KNEW SHE BARES/D HER GENITALS PUBLICLY,
THEN YOU MUST NOt
       1.approve of HER OR HER BODY OR desire to do sin with her
       2.express a     favorable opinion of HER OR HER BODY
,       3. accept HER OR HER BODY  as satisfactory,
       4. give sanction to HER OR HER BODY ,
       5. esteem HER OR HER BODY or    admire HER OR HER
BODY....
WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS BARE OR SEX SINNING IN THE
PICTURE AT HAND.
IF YOU KNOW SHE DOES THOSE KINDS OF THINGS, THEN YOU
HAVE NO BUSINESS ENJOYING, DELIGHTING IN, ESTEEMING OR
ADMIRING HER OR desiring to do sinful things with HER BEAUTY,
???????BECAUSE HER BEAUTY IS A PART OF HER JUST LIKE HER
FACE IS HER OR FINGERPRINTS ARE HER??????????
GET RID OF HER PICTURES SO YOU WONT BE TEMPTED TO
ENJOY, DELIGHT IN, ESTEEM OR ADMIRE HER IN HER BEAUTY
WHICH SHE USES TO SIN AND GET YOU INTO SIN.
Psalm 101:3  I will set no wicked/worthless thing before mine eyes: I
hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me. (Phil.
4:8)
***Prov. 5:8  Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the
door of her house:
***Prov. 5:20  And why shouldest thou, my son, be enraptured with an
immoral woman, and embrace the  bosom of a seductress?
***Prov. 6:25  Lust not after her beauty in thy heart, neither let her take
thee with her eyelids;Matt. 5:32
***Prov. 6:32  Whoso committeth adultery with a woman is void of
understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.

IT�S NOT A QUESTION OF WHAT SHE IS DOING AT THE
MOMENT.
IT�S A QUESTION OF WHAT KIND OF WOMAN IS SHE AND
WHAT KIND OF THINGS DOES SHE DO, WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS
DOING IT NOW OR IN THE PICTURE.

If you don�t approve of the showing their genitals , then you are not
approving of WHAT THEY ARE DOING.  YOU CAN STILL ADMIRE
SOMEONE AND DESPISE WHAT THEY DO.  GOD MAKE IT PLAIN
IT IS SINFUL ERROR TO ADMIRE,ESTEEM APPROVE OF PEOPLE
WHO DO SIN.  YOU CAN PRAY FOR THEM AND
COMPASSIONATELY CHERISH THEM WITHOUT ESTEEMING
ADMIRING, ENJOYING THEM.  YOU CAN ADMIRE, ESTEEM AND
ENJOY THE GOOD THING SINNERS DO, BUT YOU CANNOT
ADMIRE, ESTEEM AND ENJOY THE SINNING SINNER.
***Prov. 5:8  Remove thy way far from her, and come not         nigh
the door of her house:
***Prov. 5:20  And why shouldest thou, my son, be       enraptured
with an immoral woman, and embrace the  bosom of a seductress?
***Prov. 6:25  Lust not after her beauty in thy heart,  neither let
her take thee with her eyelids;Matt. 5:32
***Prov. 6:32  Whoso committeth adultery with a woman is        void
of understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth   his own soul.

       ROM. 1:32  who knowing the righteous judgment of God, that
they who do such things are worthy of death, not only practice them,
but have fellow delight in those who do [them].
>>>>ROM. 1:32 WHO  KNOWING  THE JUDGMENT OF GOD , THAT
THEY WHICH COMMIT  SUCH THINGS  ARE  WORTHY  OF DEATH
, NOT  ONLY  DO <4160> THE SAME --------------
"do" =STRONGS:<4160> poieo {poy-eh'-o}          [IF IT IS IN :"[*.......*]",
THEN IT IS TYLER'S]
1a) produce [*such sins*] , construct [*such sinful pictures*] ,form
[*such sinful objects*], fashion [*such sin*]
1b) . [are] the authors of [*such sin*], [are] the cause  [of] [*such sin*];
1c). make ready [*such sin*],... prepare[*such sin*]
1i). make one  [*do such sin*]..
.1i1) cause one to... [*do such sin*]..
2b)  ... do ...[*such sin*].. ... unto one,
1e)... acquire [* such sin*]..,... provide ..[*such sin*]  for one's self,
1j) .[are] the authors of [*such sin*] ...(... cause, bring about [*such sin*] )
2a1)  ... carry out [*such sin*] , ... execute  [*such sin*] ..
 2d) . celebrate [*such sin*] , keep [*such sin*] ..
 2d1) ... make ready [*such sin*] . ,
2e) .. perform: to a promise [*such sin*] ...[as under contract] ,

>>>>BUT  HAVE PLEASURE IN  <4909> -------------

STRONG'S <4909>  suneudokeo {soon-yoo-dok-eh'-o}
1) to be pleased together with, to approve together (with others)
2) *to be pleased at the same time with, consent, agree to
  2a) to applaud*   In Ronese: to like, permit, agree to, to
praise/celebrate and encourage
<4909> Tense - Present;  Voice - Active;  Mood  - Indicative
    *=Arndt & Gingrich and Thayer all agree with this def.
have pleasure in
are pleased together with
approve together with
are pleased at the same time with
consent/agree with
applaud [praise/celebrate/encourage]


>>>> THOSE WHO DO [THEM].

them who exercise them
them who practise them
them who are busy with them
them who carry them on
them who undertake them
them who do them
them who accomplish them
themwho perform them
them who commit them
them who perpetrate them
them who manage them publicly
them who transact them publicly
them who exact revenue from them
them who act them

SO  WHAT IS THE SOLUTION FOR THE BURNING WITHIN ME
FROM THE CONFLICT BETWEEN MY BODY WITH ITS  HORMONES
AND THE SPIRIT WITHIN MY BODY???
KJV 1 Corinth. 7:  8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is
good
for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them
marry:
for it is better to marry than to burn.

>>>1Co.7:9a BUT IF THEY CANNOT contain, let them
marry.<<<<<<<

<Strong�s 3756>12 Strong's exhaustive concordance; Baker Book House;
Grand Rapids, Mich.12---------�3756 ou {oo} ..
a primary word, the absolute negative [cf 3361] adverb;
particle
1) no, not; in direct questions expecting an affirmative answer�
So Strong's shows us that there is no Greek basis for the word �can�.  It
was
supplied by the translators. When the KJV translators translated the
very
same word, without the negative �not�, in 1 Cor. 9:25 (And  every man
that
strives for the mastery  is temperate <1467> (5736) in all things. ) they
use
�is temperate�, not �can be temperate�, to translate <1467> so even they
are
inconsistent.

>>>1Co.7:9b- But if they cannont CONTAIN , let them
marry.<<<<<<<<

[Strong�s<1467> (5736)],
       Strong�s1467 egkrateuomai {eng-krat-yoo'-om-ahee}
middle voice from 1468
1) to be self-controlled, continent
1a) to exhibit self-government, conduct, one's self  temperately
  1b) in a figure drawn from athletes, who in preparing  themselves for
the
games abstained from unwholesome food, wine, and sexual
indulgence
5736 Tense - Present;  Voice - Middle or Passive Deponent; Mood -
Indicative

>>>1Co.7:9c- But if they cannot contain, LET THEM MARRY
<<<<<<<<

[Strong�s <1060> (5657)]:
�Strong�s 1060: gameo {gam-eh'-o} from 1062>.>..
1) to lead in marriage, take to wife
  1a) to get married, to marry
  1b) to give one's self in marriage
2) to give a daughter in marriage
Strong�s 5657 Tense - Aorist;
Voice - Active-------
   The active voice represents the subject as the doer or performer of
the
action.  E.g., in the sentence, "The boy hit the ball," the boy performs
the
action.
Mood  - Imperative
The imperative mood corresponds to the English imperative, and
expresses a command to the hearer to perform a certain action by the
order and authority of the one commanding.  Thus, Jesus' phrase,
"Repent ye, and believe the gospel" (Mk.1:15)is not at all an
"invitation," but an absolute command requiring full obedience on the
part of all hearers.�

Does "let them marry" mean "You let/permit/allow them to marry"?
Is
�You� the �hearer [who is] to perform� the action of marrying in this
passage?  J. Gresham Machen, D.D., Litt.D; in his Macmillan Co. Greek
manual, states the following:
"The imperative mood is used in commands>.>.It will be observed that
the
English language has, properly speaking, no imperative of the third
person.
Hence in translating the Greek imperative of the third person we have
to use
the helping verb let, so that the noun or pronoun that is the subject of
the
imperative in Greek becomes the object of the helping verb in
English."

So in �if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry.� it means ----
---
�that the>..pronoun (them) that is the subject (third person plural:
they) of the imperative (marry) in Greek becomes the object (them) of
the helping verb (let) in English.�

So a literal translation of �let them marry� would be �they are
commanded
to marry" by the order and authority of the one commanding (The
Holy Spirit in Paul); or simply, �they are commanded to marry.�  Who
is commanded to marry? Those who don�t  exercise self-control.
THERE IS NO INDICATION  AS TO WHO THEY SHOULD MARRY.
IN THE OLD TESTAMENT THE "WHO"  WAS INDENTIFIED  (See
Deut. 22 and Ex. 22) BUT WE ARE NO LONGER BOUND BY THOSE
LAWS  (Acts 15; Eph. 2; Col. 2).  We know that He does not want us to
marry the unsaved (2 Cor. 6) or saints living in sin (2 Th. 3:6-14; 1 Cor.
5:9-11; 1 Tim. 6:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5).  It's obvious that He wants us to marry
"in the Lord".

>>>1 Cor.7:9----FOR IT IS BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO
BURN.<<<<

What a shame most women have no idea of what the average male's
testosterone sex drive does to him, how it can make him burn.
Granted about half of males have low mid-range to low testosterone
levels as well as nocturnal emission, so they have little or no problem
turning off or on their sex lives.  The low testosterone level males may
have a great deal of difficulty turning on their sex lives.

Women have no idea that the sex drive in that half of the male who
have mid to high testosterone levels in their blood is as burning and
compelling as the hunger drive when the stomach is growling and
cramping for lack of food; or as the thirst drive when the tongue, throat
and mouth are so dry it is even difficult to talk; as the rest drive when
it is impossible to keep the eyes open or the body erect due to utter
exhausion.  These same women would not normally ignore such
hunger/thirst signs, nor say that they would take cold showers and
exercise to overcome such hunger/thirst signs.  If they chose to fast, go
without food and drink, by the second day they would be too weak to
do their daily work and chores, and by the third day they would be too
weak walk far or stand for long periods of time.  As one who has fasted
and prayed three days without food or drink, I know.

Yet they fault the mid to high testosterone blood level male for not
being able to ignore his burning and compelling sex drive and do
without.  When the men who are not blessed with natural nocturnal
emission (wet dreams) have gone without sexual release for several
days, the prostrate becomes so congested that it begins to squeeze shut
the uretha so they cannot urinate normally and the effect on the brain
is that those males are so distracted and distractable, especially by
anything female, that quite literAlly their minds could be said to be
weakened in that it is very difficult to concentrate or focus on necessary
tasks.  If women could think of their nasal sinuses being so congested
that they cannot breath, or of the problems with urination that a
woman has with urination when 8 or 9 months pregnant, then maybe
they could understand the problems prostrate congestion can cause.
Without release, ejaculation, they could become so distracted and
distractable by anything that, as with too much alcohol, their judment
and thinking is impaired and foolish (risky), dangerous (AIDS,HIV) or
irrational behaviour resultswhich results in burns.

To help his wife or daughter understand the effect of testosterone on a
male in relationship with his woman whom he loves and desires
passionately, a man might do the following.  (1) Take his lady out to eat
her favorite meal.  Order the meal, talking it up to maximize her
anticipation and desire for it (2).  When the meal is served, ask her take
a minute to look carefully at each item (how it is arranged, how it
appears).  Ask her to smell each item.  Ask her to take one fork/spoon
serving of each item and eat it, one at a time.  Ask her if she is pleased
and still wants it (3).  If she replies that she is ready and eager to eat and
wants no more delay, then gently, sweetly, carefully ask/beg/entreat
her to trust you in what you are about to do and that she go along with
what you are about to do.  If she will cooperate, ask the waiter/waitress
to doggy bag the meal(4).   She will probably need a lot of reassurance at
this point, so tell her that if she will go along with you it will
significantly improve her marriage.  Hopefully she will believe you,
reluctantly.  Ask her to carry the bagged food in the car on her lap, or
on the floor at her feet.  Turn on the heater of your car with a little
floor heat so the smell of the food will rise to her face(5).  When you
get home, ask her to carry it and put it in the refrigerator (6).  She will
probably need more encouragement to do this.  Ask/beg/entreat her to
trust you and cooperate.  Ask her if she likes the way that the evening
has gone so far.  Ask her how she feels about her favorite meal, cooling
off in the refrigerator.  Sit her down and gently, compassionately and
wisely explain to her what follows next.

The �favorite meal� to him is HER (1).   He approaches, anticipates, and
awaits her with eager expectation(2).  Tell her that everytime he sees,
smells, hears, touches and/or tastes her lips/skin, it is what she felt
above (3).   Explain that the bagging of the food in front of her (4) is
what he feels when she says to him �Honey! Not tonight.�, �I have a
headache and I just don�t feel like it right now.�, �All you think of is
sex! Chill out baby! Not tonight!�,  �What have you done lately to
deserve it, baby?�.  Explain to her that the carrying of the pleasantly
aromatic food home on her lap in the car is like when he is near her
but can�t feast on her, can�t fully enjoy her(5).  Explain that her putting
the nice warm and delicious food in the refrigerator is what he
experiences when he has to go to bed or part from her without having
had the honor, the privilege, the delightful pleasure, the soul fulfilling
experience of feasting on her and her many delectables (6).

Explain patiently and gently and that for him his sexual drive is an
appetite, and his appetite is for her - his favorite feast.  Explain that to
be near her is like ordering and receiving his favorite meal, her.
Explain that when he is denied his compelling hunger and thirst for
her, it is painful and hard to bear.  Explain that it is a soul wrenching
experience.  Explain that he NEEDS he even more than he WANTS
her.  Appeal to her experience with the deferred meal to understand
how frustrating and emotionally troubling it is to be denied her.  If
nothing else, lay the Word on her----how it is the will of God for her to
feed the hungry, and seeing his need and her ability to meet it -- pray
that she will be moved with compassion and meet his need.  And
explain that his responsibility is to receive the wonderful and gracious
gift that she is and has, is to gently and kindly and thoughtfully enjoy
her---seeking to give her as much pleasure as possible.  If he doesn�t do
that, then he is the swine that had pearls thrown before him, the fool
who has no idea of the value of his precious possession and hides it
away from all, even from himself.  If the smile and expressions of
delight on her face and the utterances of fulfillment and ecstasy on her
lips are not as important to him as his hunger for and need of her, then
he is unworthy of her.  Perhaps such an unworthy one could show
genuine repentance (2Cor7) and humble himself under the mighty
hand of His God and under the authority He has given his wife over
his body, and become a learner of how to please and delight his
woman.  A man who acts like Nabal with his wife, will surely face the
fate of a Nabal.

As a male with mid to high testosterone and no nocturnal emission
when I was in high school, my Urologist (Vital Haynes,MD), told me I
had a few options to prevent my recurring prostrate congestion.  He
said that I, at age 17, could either get married and be intimate
frequently, be promiscuous frequently, self-stimulate quite frequently,
become homosexual (the penis in the anus squeezes the seminal fluid
out of the prostrate), or come into his office two to three times a week
for him to massage/press the seminal fluid out of my prostrate (too
expensive and embarassing).   Cold showers, exercise and being
spiritual just did not empty the prostrate so I could urinate normally
and have my mind clear of testosterone distractions.  For the mid to
high testosterone male, sexual release is just as much as physical need
as food, drink, and sleep.

The question such men have to deal with is, "How can I have the
testosterone  release I need so I can take care of daily business and be
acceptable to Jesus?"  One obvious answer is marriage (1 Cor. 7:1,2,5,9)
with a wife who understands his sexual needs and is committed to
ministering to him in his need in Christ, and as unto Christ (Matt.
25:34,35,36), so that his physical need of the release/ejaculation can be
met and they can get on with their lives.

BUT I'M UNDER 18, A MINOR  WHO IS BURNING AND FAILING
TO STAND WHEN TEMPTED, AND MY FOLKS WONT LET ME
MARRRY!


First I would prayerfully study Daniel 10 and go on Daniel three week
fast (abstaining from meat, alcoholic drinks, all your favorite
foods/drinks, foods with sugar added etc) involving at least  one hour a
day in prayer where at least half of that time is quietly waiting (with ear
plugs on to eliminate distractions if necessary) on God to speak to you
through His Spirit and Word; and at least one hour a day of meditation
on the Word (perhaps 30 min Old Testament and 30 min New
Testament).

If you are still losing the battle and burning in tempted torment, failing
all too often and not sure of winning the next round of temptations,
then I would recommend that you go on Esther's three day fast (Esther
4:13-17), after consulting a doctor, making sure to not stop taking any
medication you are daily taking, and taking only water with such
medication (if the medication must be taken with food you obviously
cannot do this fast).   Preparations for such a fast include eating no
meat, cheese or dairy products for three days before you begin the fast,
taking a laxative two days before the fast, eating no solids the day before
the fast.  When doing that fast I recommend that you avoid all social
contact if possible.  I pulled my blinds, disconnected my phone, TV and
radios and did no work for the three days of the fast giving my self
almost entirely to meditating in the Word, praying about the issues
facing me and praying for all that he brought to mind.  Fasting with out
serious prayer in solitude is just a crash diet, except for Daniel's 10 diet.
If you are still in defeat, burning and losing the battles one month after
these two fasts, then read on.

What if Jesus commands me to marry because of my burning turmoil
struggling with all the testosterone temptations, and my parents tell
me I can't marry???   Ezekiel 20:18 with Ezekiel 18 and Acts 4:19-25
show that when the authorities  appointed by God (Rom 13) tell you to
disobey God or try to influence you to disobey God's explicit
commands, you have to disobey them in order to obey God.  So, Yes,
that means that if a minor is burning from the struggle with his
testosterone temptations, and doing a significant amount of losing so
much so that he is not sure of winning the next battle, he has to obey
God and begin seeking marriage, even informal-private-covenanted
marriage described below, as God's solution for his losing battle.

That it can be done I do know.  Two 17 year olds were very bright and
very much in love.  Their parents approved of their relationship and
saw their need to marry and let them marry at 18.  As long as they kept
from having children and stayed in school full time the parents
supported them with lodging, food, clothing and medical insurance.
They graduated from college with honors, earned their Ph. D.'s with
honors and were both teaching/researching at MIT when they finally
became parents themselves.   It worked beautifully.
If the parents don't support the relationship, fasting and prayer and
follow the Word.

The closest the female comes to this experience, except for the women
of the next paragraph, is in her PMS where her mind is bombarded
with hormones etc.  making many to be quite distracted and
temporarily not their normal selves.  It is extremely difficult for a
woman to understand that testosterone can make a godly man
REALLY NEED (not just want) the physical marital love making of a
godly wife.  It is not just a matter of the will and the mind, just like the
physical needs for food, drink and sleep.

The widow, abandonned, deserted or rejected mate,  who is left
burning for the sexual affection and attention of her departed
husband/lover (1Cor.7:5; 1Tim.5:11-14), has a very real and intense sex
drive, not fueled by testosterone, but by an emotional/affectionate need
created by the wonderful addiction to marital sex with her husband,
now departed.    She can actually feel, in her memory, the stimulation
of her whole body or particular erotic zones that love making with her
husband activated.   Those affectionate and erogenous memories create
an intense aching longing for that whole body experience she had in
orgasm with her husband.

Even a formerly promiscuous woman who knew no other love than
that she had in sex with "tricks/Johns" or just guys,  feeling such an
aching and yearning desire for affectionate attention, can burn with
desire for that sexual affection and attention.  Mind, emotional and
heart addictions can generate such a desperate burning that their
judgment is impaired, their reasoning clouded, and their mind so
distracted that they are capable of doing very foolish and life
threatening things.

The Urologist mentioned above mentioned self-stimulation as an
option.  It is a veritable mine field but better than promiscuity-
forniation, homosexuality, expensive doctor's treatments and more
feasible than marriage if you are in junior high or senior high.
THERE IS NO SCRIPTURE IN THE WHOLE BIBLE THAT
CONDEMNS OR LABELS AS SIN SELF-SITMULATION TO ORGASM.

The key to sanctified self-stimulation to orgasm is in Matt. 5:27-30;
15;18,19 etc.    To self-stimulate yourself to orgasm thinking of doing
something that the Bible says is sinful is just as bad for YOUR soul as
actually doing the sin.  Bringing yourself to orgasm remembering your
lovemaking with your mate is covered by the holiness and
sanctification surrounding the marriage bed (marital intimacy).  A
careful study of the Prov. 5:13-22 and Song of Solomon will show the
appropriateness on imagining, rembering and mentally imaging your
mate and your love making with your mate.  Bringing yourself to
orgasm by self stimulation thinking of and enjoying only the feel of it,
the feelings  induced and the orgasmic climax is one way to go that is
not sinful in and of itself, but it can lead to selfishness, self-
centeredness and a narcistic fascination and obsession with your own
body that could get in the way of a healthy love for a woman's body in
marriage later.

Since self-stimulation is a matter of personal liberty  and conscience in
Christ, surely Romans 13 and related passages apply.  And
certainly the principles of Romans 14 and l Cor 8 & 10
apply.  Before one may self-stimulate in the peace of Christ, the
following principles must be observed. The following is a brief
summary of those
principles:
1. Receive the weak in faith (their faith allows them
very little personal liberty) but not to dispute
doubtful things/points>61  . Doubtful things are things
that the Bible is not explicitly clear about leaving a
gray area for individuals to exercise their own
judgment (e.g. eating meat vs. vegetarianism, length
of dress, courtship and engagement, television,
movies, computer use etc.)
2. Don't despise or condemn your brother/sister in
Christ if (1) they feel free to do doubtful things or (2)
they don't feel free to do doubtful things>62
3. Don't put a stumbling block, an occasion to take
offense, put an obstacle in the way>82 , give someone
an opportunity for sinning>63
4. Don't make your brethren uneasy>83  or hurt,
injure or damage others' feelings>84.
5. Don't destroy your brethren's faith with your
personal liberty>64
6. Let not the personal liberty your faith allows be
evil spoken of>65
7. Do that which builds and helps the faith of your
brethren>66  .
8. Don't put a temptation to sin in someone's way>.85 ,
or do that which leads another to sin>.86 .
9. Have your faith from the Word that allows you
your personal liberty privately, discretely and
personally before God and be happy in it>67
10. Don't do anything you have doubts about, doubts
about whether or not it is God's will for you to do, be
or have)>68
11. If your faith is strong allowing you a great deal of
personal liberty, you should bear the weaknesses of
those whose faith allows little personal liberty, not
pleasing ourselves.  Seek to please your brethren for
their good, growth and development in the Lord and
Word>69  .
[Footnote: [>61    (Rm.14:1)        >62   . (Rm. 14:3,4)
>.82 Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon.      >83
Please see Thayer's Lexicon.       >63  . (Rm. 14:13).
>.84  Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon.       >64  .
(Rm 14:15).      >65    (Rm. 14:16,17).      >66    (Rm.
14:18,19).       >.85  (Rm. 14:13)Please see Arndt &
Gingrich's Lexicon.        >.86  Please see Thayer's
Lexicon.       >67  (Rm.14:22).        >68   . (Rm. 14:23).
>69   . (Rm. 15:1-3)]

If you can manage the privacy, there is yet another way to go if you are
burning and unable to marry.    Love dolls, inflatable or solid, can be
purchased by mail or in adult stores around most big cities.   Nowhere
in the Bible does it say that it is a sin to come to orgasm by/with a "love
doll"----it is what is going on in your head that counts (Matt 5 and 15).
If you are thinking thoughts/deeds forbidden by God while coming to
orgasm by the love doll, it is sin.  If you are thinking of having
intercourse with your girl friend while you are having intercourse
withthe love doll, your mind has you in sin.  The danger of using a
love doll for sexual release, if you can  keep your mind from what God
forbids and calls sin, is that you may form a dangerous
mental/affectionate bond with the doll, to the extent that it might even
keep you from normal relationships with living dolls.  When you
begin to treat it as if it has feelings, care about it as if it has feelings, take
care of it as if it were a real girl, dream and fantasize  about it when
away from it, miss it emotionally when away from it --
you've crossed the line of good mental health and you must get rid of
it and seek another solution from God.

 My solution as a born-again  junior and senior higher and college
student was to bring myself to orgasm thinking of or looking at female
beauty, no genital shots--no exposed genitalia, the feminine
curves/colors/shapes/ shades/etc without thinking of doing anything
to or with their breasts or genitals---thus violating no command of the
Lord in scripture.   The hazard of this is that later in marriage you may
have difficulty climaxing in normal coital intercourse and you or her
may have to stimulate your genital manually to climax.  Another
hazard is that you may become over sensitized to female beauty and
over react emotionally (verbally, physically) in the presence of
attractive females, to the point of idolatry or obsession with their
beauty.

Or you go to your endocrinologist and ask him if he could give you
anything that would bring your testosterone level down to low normal
(don't let it get too low because then the temptation will be
homosexuality, and being effeminate.  Try to get good Biblical and
psychological counseling.  If that doesn't work, read on.


AND THE LORD SAID IT IS BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO BURN.

1 Corinthians 7:9a in various versions:

DBY1>.13  Darby�s.3  "But if they have not control over themselves, "
NEB1>.14  New English Bible (version 2) 1970.4  "if they cannot control
themselves, "(So also NIV)
YLT1>.15  Young�s  Literal Translation.5  and "if they have not
continence--"
NKJV1>.16  New King James Version, 1984: This version uses the word
"cannot" with refernce to the exercise of self-control, "cannot exercise
self-control"
MKJV1>.17  OnLine Bible�s Modern King James Version: This version
uses "do not" with reference to having self-control.
ASV1>.18  American Standard Version, 1901.8 "But if they have not
continency, "
LP1>.19  Lamsa�s Peshitta, 1957.9 "But if they cannot endure it, "
AB2>.20  Amplified Bible, 1965.0 "But if they have not self-control
(restraint
of their passions), "
WNT2>.21  Wuests�s New Testament, 1961.1 "But assuming that they
are not able to exercise self-control in the realm of the continent life,
"........

1 Cor. 7:9b invarious versions continued:

DBY  " let them marry; "  (so also LP)
NEB "they should marry."  (so also NIV)
ASV  "let them marry"   (so also YLT, MKJV, WNT  & NKJV)
AB they should marry.

1 Cor. 7:9c in various translations cont.:

DBY   "for it is better to marry than to burn."  (so also ASV, MKJV
NEB "Better be married than burn with vain desire."
YLT      "for it is better to marry than to burn;"
LP" for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. " (So also NIV,
NKJV
AB "For it is better to marry than to be aflame (with passion and
tortured
continually with ungratified desire)."
WNT  "for it is more advantageous to marry than to continue to burn
[with the heat of sexual passion}"

So the way this writer gets it is a modified DBY:   �But if they have not
control over themselves,  they should marry;  For it is better to marry
than to burn.�
Now if the mighty God of the universe tells me I should marry, just
being thankful in Christ that He has taken the time to know me and
deal with me, I would be asking �Who� and �When�.  Now I know I
need to obey my Lord Jesus (Heb.5:8,9;
1John2:1-5), and since He has told me I NEED to/SHOULD marry and
promised to supply all my needs according to His riches, then I need to
prepare myself forWHOEVER of the saints He provides (seek and ye
shall find), knowing that He will LEAD  that saint to be willing to
marry me ----- and shame on me if I am too selfish and particular to
accept the one He provides!

       1Tim. 5:11-15 show us another circumstance where God inspires
the
expression of His will that someone marry, whether or not they want.
1 Cor. 7:5 shows why she cannot remain unmarried, Satan tempting
her because of her lack of self-control.  1 Cor. 7:9 and 1 Tim. 5:11-15
show us God's will when we fail to have or exercise self-control, it is
better to marry than to burn."Who" they should marry is not indicated,
as it used to be in the Old Testament, but certainly they should marry
"in the Lord".

The next  passage is seen in two ways, has three possible translations,
which
apply and pertain to believers in the world today.  The first is that it
applies
to a "brother" and his own virginity.  The second, that it applies to a
fianc�
and his fiancee (engaged but not married), or a couple in some kind of
relationship where they both agree that she is "his virgin". The first
and second translations are very much like 1 Cor. 7:9 and 1 Tim. 5:11-
15, the people involved come  under God's command to marry.  In the
case of the fianc� and fianc�e, the "who to marry" is clear and indicated.
The third translation, applies to a father and his virgin daughter, may
or may not involve the daughter's failure to exercise self-control, and
may involve other factors.  If the father's virgin daughter is burning
and failing to control herself, the father would behave "unseemly"
with regard to his daughter if she has come under God's command to
marry and he refuses to let her marry.   Refusing to let her marry
would be to cast a stumbling block (Rom.14) in her way, setting her up
for the disgrace and dishonor of failing to control herself in her
"burning".  If the father's saved virgin daughter was
burning and failing ot control-self with her saved sweetheart, the
obvious
command to the father is "let them marry", i.e. they are commanded to
marry (1 Co. 7.9).

>>>1 Cor. 7:36 � BUT IF ANY ONE THINK THAT HE BEHAVES
UNSEEMLY. . <<<<<<<<<<<
       [Young's Literal Translation:  1 Cor. 7:36 � and if any one doth
think [it] to be unseemly2>.22c
       [Arndt & Gingrich: behave disgracefully, dishonorably,
indecently  . . .  1 Cor. 13:5 . . . if anyone   thinks he  is behaving
dishonorably toward his maiden  7:36.
       [Thayer: to act unbecomingly . . .  1 Co. xiii.5; . . . contextually, to
prepare disgrace for her, 1 Co. vii.  36.
       [ Harper & Brothers The Analytical Greek Lexicon:  to behave in
an
unbecoming manner, or indecorously,   1 Co. 13.5;  to behave in a
manner open to censure,1 Co. 7:36.2c to his virgin]

>>>1 Co. 7:36  TO HIS VIRGINITY, IF HE BE BEYOND THE FLOWER
OF HIS AGE. . .  <<<<<<<<<<<<
       [Arndt & Gingrich:  . . .  it may apply either to the woman past
one's prime, past marriageable age,  past the bloom of youth  . . .  or to
the man . . . with strong passions.     Thayer: . . . 2.  overripe, plump and
ripe,  (and soin greater danger of
defilement): of a virgin ]
       [R.V. past the flower of  her age ], 1 Co. vii. 36
       [( Harper & Brothers:  past the bloom of life)

>>>1 Cor. 7:36  AND SO IT MUST B E, LET HIM DO WHAT HE WILL,
HE DOES NOT SIN: LET THEM MARRY.  <<<<<<<<<<<<<

Does "let them marry" mean "You let/permit/allow them to marry"?
Is
�You� the �hearer [who is] to perform� the action of marrying in this
passage?  See  the  J. Gresham Machen, D.D., Litt.D, quote above in the 1
Cor. 7:9 discussion. So in �if they cannot exercise self-control, let them
marry.� it means ---�that the>..pronoun (them) that is the subject (third
person plural: they) of the imperative (marry) in Greek becomes the
object (them) of the helping verb (let) in English.�

So a literal translation of �let them marry� would be �they are
commanded
to marry" by the order and authority of the one commanding (The
Holy Spirit in Paul); or simply, �they are commanded to marry.�

Agreeing  with the KJV and RV Greek meaning that �they are
commanded to
marry�   you have the NIV, Wuest's EXPANDED NEW TESTAMENT,
NEW KING  JAMES VERSION, AMPLIFIED BIBLE, THE NEW
ENGLISH BIBLE (1970), the  AMERICAN STANDARD VERSION
(1901), Berry's INTERLINEAR.

The NIV agrees with the fianc� and fianc�e meaning, as do the
AMPLIFIED BIBLE, THE NEW ENGLISH BIBLE   (1970), THE NEW
KING JAMES VERSION, the footnote of the AMERICAN STANDARD
VERSION (1901),

Agreeing with the father and his virgin daughter meaning are
WUESTS
EXPANDED NEW TESTAMENT,  the footnote in the NEW KING
JAMES VERSION, Lamsa's HOLY BIBLE, the NEW AMERICAN
STANDARD BIBLE (1977), the footnote  of THE NEW ENGLISH BIBLE
(1970),  the AMERICAN STANDARD VERSION (1901),  Lamsa's HOLY
BIBLE.

if she may be beyond the bloom of age, and it ought so to be, what he
willeth let him do; he doth not sin--let him marry = Darby.  This is
Darby's Online Bible 19th Cent. version, and Berry's  Interlinear agrees
with Darby that this is about one's  own virginity.   The Amplified
indicates that v.37 is about one and his own virginity. The American
Standard Version gives this "one and his own virginity" as an option
in its notes

According to Harper & Brothers Analytical Greek, this is the  "3 per. pl.
pres.
imper. act." [of gameeo] so its pronoun would have to be "they".  The
imperative means that the third person, "they", are commanded to
marry.
Lockman's NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, 1977, and Lamsa's
Holy Bible, change the "them" of "let them marry" to  "her" so that the
meaning is changed to mean that the virgin daughter is commanded to
marry, she is commanded to  marry.  This writer, Tyler, believes it is
�let them marry� or �they should marry�.

Modern King James Version (Greene's OnLine Bible) and The New
King James Version gives this meaning in its main text.  .The
Amplified combines the two indicating that v.37 is about one and his
own virginity. The American Standard Version gives this "one and his
own virginity" as an option in its notes.

1 Cor.7:37  And he who hath stood stedfast in the heart--not having
necessity--and hath authority over his own will, and this he hath
determined in his heart--to keep his own virgin--doth well;  38 so that
both he who is  giving in marriage doth well, and he who is not giving
in marriage doth better.          KJV             The New King James Version
gives this meaning as an option in its notes. The American Standard
Version, Lamsa�s Peshitta, Young�s Literal Translation seem to prefer
this interpretation. The Amplified  gives verses 36,38 this meaning.
Wuest�s  seems to prefer  the father & virgin daughter meaning.The
NEB gives the father daughter option in its notes.The  NEB & NIV
seem to prefer the man and his fiance interpretation.

I believe that this is a shotgun verse, taking a number of valid targets.  I
believe it is up to the saint to be led by the Spirit in the Word to see
which application, if any , applies to his or her case.  If you find you or
your loved one under the command to marry, then you should show
Jesus your Love for Him and have a marriage  (John14:15-21).  If you
find you and your loved one under His command to marry, it becomes
a "need" on your part that He has promised to fill and your part is the
"ask-knock-seek" part under the Spirit's leading.

1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote
to me, [it is] good for a man not to be touching a woman.  2.
Nevertheless, [to avoid] sex sin every man is to be having his own
woman and every woman is to be having her own man.....8.I say
therefore, to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they
abide [unmarried] even as I.  But if they do not abstain [from
touching/having one], they are [commanded] to marry.   For it is better
to marry than to burn  [lustfully/passionately]......36. But if anyone
think that he behaves himself improperly toward his virgin, if she  has
become marriageable,  and so it must be, he is [commanded]  to do what
he wishes; he does not sin; they are [commanded] to marry.  37.
Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity,
but has power over his own will, and so has determined in his heart
that he will keep [as is] his virgin, does well. [See 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8.]
1 Timothy 5:11 But refuse [to enroll] younger widows; for when they
have sensuous impulses contrary to Christ, they wish to marry.... 14.
Therefore I desire that younger [widows] marry, bear children, manage
the house,  give no occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
[The difference between the old testament commands to marry (see
above) and the New Testament commands to marry is that in the Old
Testament God tells the one who erred WHO he must marry, and in
the New Testament He just commands the uncontrolled one to marry
and leaves it up to the uncontrolled one to find out WHO to marry by
Phil. 4:6,7,8 & Romans 8:14.  In other words, now, an uncontrolled
saint might be sinfully intimate intermittently without
commitment/covenant with an unsaved person, all the while under
great conviction.  That puts the uncontrolled saint under command
(1Cor.7:9) to marry, but that saint is also under command not to marry
the unsaved (2 Cor.6:14-7:3), so the uncontrolled saint must marry ---
but not to the unsaved one of the intermittent intimacy without
commitment/covenant. ]

So there are two parts to the solution for a believer whose struggle with
sex sin has more failures than bearable; 1. First  do 1Jn1:9 with 2 Cor. 7;
2.
Secondly marry the Spirit filled believer walking in the Spirit that God
provides, and have enough sense to drop your own personal and
preconceived prerequisites  e.g. bodily appearance, education, social
status, ethnic/racial status, economic status) if they aren�t met by the
one God provides.
If, for some reason, you cannot marry but need to, there might be a
third option to hold you in line until you can marry.  This option
is very controversial and should be used only after much prayer and
soul searching.
Brother George, I was so impressed by the thoroughness of your Bible
study on tithing, I thought that you might be the brother who would
have some key insights into this issue.  This is a hot and current issue
for many young people and single adults who profess to be Christian,
to have been born again.  Statistically, in America,  the percentage of
born again believers who are petting intimately and having sex outside
of marriage is only a few points lower than the statistics for the general
unbelieving population.  I believe that the Christian community is
losing the battle for the morality of their believing youth because they
are teaching cultural tradtions, the religious traditions of the organized
church, rather than the clear, specific and explicit Word of God (Mark 7
and Matt. 15).
This is where the inquiry stands now.  If the Lord leads you to share
anything, I would be very interested.
Date: Thu, 05 Jun 1997 17:54:58 +0200
From: [email protected]>
Subject: Re: petting and singles
To: <[email protected]>

Dt. 25:11 When men fight [each other], and the wife of
one [of them] comes near to rescue her husband out of the hand of him
that is hitting him, and reaches out her hand, and seizes him by his
genitals,12 you shall cut off her hand. Your eye shall not spare her
>Tyler: Does the questionable behavior involve hand to genital
behavior?
>>Warren: Of course.
>Tyler: I don't see that the passage is that clear in and of itself
Apparently the only adult male genitals a wife should
handle are the genitals of her own husband.

>>Warren: Because the point in question here has nothing to do with
sexual stumulation but with disabling her husband's foe by assailing
him in his most vulnerable place. The "secrets" (testicles) were a man's
offspring, his future generations, and therefore sacred.
>Tyler:  I agree the point here is not stimulation but I believe the main
point of the passage is adultery and the sanctity of marriage,
i.e. the wife is to have sexual contact only with the genitals  of her own
husband.  I believe that it is the sacredness of the marital bond, not the
sacredness of the man's seed, that is in focus in this passage.

>Tyler:  God went to the trouble to lay down this rule for wives, so why
didn't he go ahead and lay it down for all women in the matter of
touching/handling the  genitals of a male to whom they are not
married? Why didn't forbid sisters/aunts/mothers/grandmothers
from laying hold of the genitals of a male attacking their
brother/nephew/son/grandson?
***Warren: You are asking questions out of a late 20th century context.
Such sort of intimate contact would have been un thinkable in the
socio-cultural context of the OT.
>Tyler:  Unthinkable in the socio-cultural context of the OT? Consider
the following from Ezekiel 23:
2 Son of man, there were two women, the daughters of one mother.
3 And they did sexual sin in Egypt; they did sexual sin in their youth,
their breasts were handled, and there their virgin nipples were worked.
8 Nor did she leave her sexual immoralities from Egypt. For in her
youth they lay with her, and they worked her virgin nipples, and
poured their sexual immoralities on her.
18 So she uncovered her sexual immoralities and uncovered her
genitals. And My soul was alienated from her just as My soul was
alienated from her sister.
19 Yet she multiplied her sexual immorlaities to recall the days of her
youth, in which she had acted like the harlot in the land of Egypt.
20 And she desired that which was forbidden with her lovers, whose
genitals are like the genitals of asses and whose seminal emission [is
like] the seminal emission of horses.
21 So you longed for the wickedness of your youth, when the
Egyptians worked your nipples, for the sake of the breasts of your
youth.

Consider Proverbs chapters 5, 6 and 7:
18 Let your fountain [genital] be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of
your youth.
19 [Like] the loving deer and pleasant doe, let her breasts satisfy you at
all times, and be  ecstatically ravished always with her loving [i.e. and
have orgasms always by her lovemaking].
20 And why will you, my son, be ecstatically ravished with an
unbelieving woman, and embrace [with caresses] the breasts of an
unbeliever?
21 For the ways of man [are] before the eyes of the LORD, and He
watches all his paths.
22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be
held with the cords of his sin.
23 He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he
shall go astray.

One could hardly ask for a more explicit and specific definition of
sexual immorality than is provided here by the Holy Spirit.  Couple
this definition of sexual immorality with the definitions given in
Leviticus 18, 19, 20;  and Deuteronomy 22 and you have a very clear
and explicit picture of what God considers sexual immoality, and of
how you should not sexually touch a woman who is not your wife in
the Lord. If you read Ezekiel 16 and Ezekiel 23 you see that such
conduct was widespread in the socio-cultural context of the OT,
including making love with statues and pornographic pictures, breast
and genital petting and public nudity with multiple lovers.
Such behavior was widespread in Israel also during the reigns of Ahab
and Jezebel, and the other evil kings of Israel and Judah.  So such
behavior as hand-genital contact in heterosexual intimacy was a
contemporary and current issue in Old Testament Israel.

>Tyler: I can find no clear and direct link of scripture linking
"uncleanness, licentiousness, lasciviousness" or "fornication" to the
act of a free-to-marry unmarried woman touching/handling the
genitals of a man to whom she is not married.  What clear and explicit
scripture would you use to help two 17 year olds whose parents wont
let them marry, feel unready for the responsibilities of marriage, but
when they are alone together in private she gets him so horny he goes
crazy trying to handle his testosterone rush when they just hug and
face-kiss, abstaining from her breasts and her genitals in order to avoid
fornication, but both extremely conscious of his full erection and
frenzied excitement, both burning with desire to get it out of his pants
and put their hands on it together?  The situation could be much more
intense for a widowed/divorced/abandonned couple of adult singles.

***Warren: I think the NT is plain. "..the body is not for immorality,
but for the Lord. Do you not know that your bodies are members of
Christ?..." (1 Cor.6:13,15, NASB).
>Tyler: I believe that Biblical "immorality" is defined in such passages
as Proverbs 5, Ezekiel 16 and especially Ezekiel 23, where we are told
that fornication includes breast/nipple petting/manipulation, as well
as lovemaking with pictures and statues and of course contact with the
woman's genitals.  The only mention of the male's genitals is when
God discusses His adulterous wife making love with pictures/statues of
males for their male genitalia and sperm (Ezek 23) and where the wife
grabs the attacker's genitals.  I still know of no scripture that specifically
and explicitly deals with the single woman having contact with the
genital of a male to whom she is not married.

***Warren:  Yet a couple legally married in God's eyes, acting within
the bounds of holy matrimony, are indeed bringing glory to God if they
are not indulging in abberant sex but are enjoining coitus either to
bring forth progeny or to give thanks to God.
If a person cannot praise the Lord whilst in coitus then I would suggest
that what they are doing is not in Christ. The Spirit will testify. To
confront such a couple claiming to be Christian (if that is what they are)
in the Name of Christ with such truth- statements will settle the
matter because the Holy Spirit will not vindicate them. If they are
unbelievers then they will not want to know the truth anyway
(probably).
       However, this passage (if you want a legalistic argument) settles it
for me. "It is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of
immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman
have her own husband" (1 Cor.7:1-2, NASB).
        This very clear injunction tells us that a man is not even to
TOUCH a woman until they are married. "Is it good for a man to KEEP
AWAY from women..." (Ibid, JNT).  Fornication = sexual intercourse,
any form of sexual contact.
>>>Tyler: Do you really mean "not even to touch a woman"?  Please
see STRONG'S 680: "haptomai {hap'-tom-ahee}; v
1) to fasten one's self to, adhere to, cling to
  1a) to touch
  1b) of carnal intercourse with a women or cohabitation
  1c) of levitical practice of having no fellowship with heathen
practices. Things not to be touched appear to be both women and
certain kinds of food, so celibacy and abstinence of certain kinds of food
and drink are recommended."
Please see Thayer's Greek-English Lexicon ("to fasten one's self to ,
adhere to, cling to; carnal intercourse, cohabitation) and Arndth &
Gingrich's Greek-English Lexicon ("touch, hold; intercourse with
women).
That the Word does not say a man should ever touch a woman is
shown in Jesus' touching and being touched by women in His healing
ministry, in Jesus' letting a woman kiss and wash his feet, in Jesus'
command that we wash each other's feet (John 13), the requirement
that women wash the brothers' feet (1 Tim. 5:10), and in Peter holding
Tabitha's hand (Acts 9:41) when she revived.  Strong's, Thayer and
Arndt &Gingrich show, by their scholarly definition, that more is
meant in 1 Cor. 7:1 than the touching of holding a woman's hand,
washing a woman's feet, touching a woman's face with one's lips etc.
They all agree that, when it comes to a man "touching a woman" it
means "carnal intercourse", sexual intercourse, contact with the breasts
and/or genitals of a woman who is not maritally bound to the man
(Ezek. 23). How does a man sexually fasten himself to a woman,
sexually adhere to a woman, and/or sexually cling to a woman?  In the
terms of Ezek chapters 16 and 23 (with Prov. 5) a man sexually fastens
himself to a woman by means of his hands and/or genitals,
touching/working/manipulating/handling her breasts and genitals.
He sexually adheres or clings to her breasts and/or genitals with his
hands/lips/ arms/legs.  Such touching of a woman who is not your
wife in the Lord is clearly labeled as fornication in the passages cited
above. I believe that the command to not "touch a woman" does not
forbid the touching of the asexual parts of a woman's body (arms, legs,
back, neck, head, feet etc.).

***Warren: I really don't see your problem. The scriptures limit ANY
form of sexual contact before marriage, including kissing.
>Tyler:  I agree, if by "sexual contact" you mean contact with a woman's
breasts and/or genitals; and if by "kissing" you mean the act of a man
kissing or touching of the breasts and/or genitals of a woman to whom
he is not married righteously before God.


**Warren: Is this couple you are describing acting for Christ?
Is what they are doing bringing glory to Christ? Of course not!
>Tyler:  I agree that [1] if someone believes personally that it is wrong
for a single woman to touch/hold the gential of a man to whom she is
not married, it is clearly wrong for them to do so (Romans 14);  [2] that
if the man offends the woman or the woman offends the man by
touching/holding his genital, it is wrong (Rom 14:13ff);  [3] that if the
woman's touching/holding the man's genital tempts/draws/leads
either or both of them to touch her breasts and/or genitals without
being married, it is wrong (Rom. 13:14ff);  [4] that if the woman's
touching/holding his genital grieves, offends and/or hurts the feelings
of either party or anyone else who is aware of their being in such
contact, it is wrong (Rom. 13:14ff); and [5] that if either the woman or
the man have doubts about the "rightness" of her touching/handling
his gential, it is wrong for her to do it and wrong for him to allow or
encourage her to do it (Rom. 14:20-23).
       What if they are doing it for Christ to keep from what is clearly
fornication (contact with her breasts and her genitals, Exek. 23), in that
he is letting her stimulate his genital to orgasm to release his
hormonal pressure without him touching her breasts or her genitals?
What if they are doing it to meet his sexual needs (climax, testosterone
release, prostrate congestion etc.) so that he wont be so tempted to have
contact with her breasts and genitals outside of marriage, which is
clearly fornication?   What if she does it for the same reason that she
feeds the hungry and gives drink to the thirsty, to meet his bodily need,
his sexual appetite, in such a way that avoids the fornication of extra-
marital contact with her breasts and her genitals?  What if he asks her
to help him in this way, without touching her breasts and her genitals?
If the Christian liberty [not license] of a man and a single woman
allows them to engage in her touching/holding his genitals out of the
conviction that it is not contrary to the Word of God, that it is not
prohibitted by the Word of God, free of any doubts about the
"rightness" of such behavior for them, they must keep it private,
personal and secretive to themselves and before God according to
Romans 14:21-23, so as not to stumble, offend, grieve or spiritually
harm their brethren whose consciences do not afford them such liberty.
Personally I hope that no youths or singles would engage in this kind
of intimate bonding experience without having first sought the Lord's
leading in serious prayer with fasting (Esther's fast or Daniel's fast), and
that they would have maritally committed (formally or informally) to
each other and maritally covenanted (formally or informally) with
each other before God to be husband and wife to each other in the Lord.

SOME SCRIPTURAL GUIDELINES
       1. God makes it very clear in His Word  that He, as our Heavenly
Father, instructs us not to �go with�, become engaged to, or marry
anyone who is not a believer who is obeying the Word of God>#1.
Being the Loving Father our God is, and the all wise King that Jesus is,
God instructs us for our own well being  that an obedient believer
should not �go with�, become engaged to, or marry any �believer� who
is disobeying God�s instructions, or any �believer� who believes or
teaches things that contradict or are in conflict with God�s teachings in
the Bible>#2.  Yes, that really narrows the way for finding a godly mate
and drastically reduces the number of eligible people but those who
have been down the road can tell you that it is better to marry right
than wrong, and that it is better not to marry than to marry wrong.  It
just makes the miracle of God�s provision even more miraculous, like
Elijah pouring all that water over the sacrifice to be burned before God
sent the consuming fire from Heaven. You have to have Faith in God
to walk with God. You have to really trust Him before you can turn
your hopes and dreams over to Him for His decision.
[#1  2 Corinthians 6:11-7:1; 1 Corinthians 15:33; James 4:4; Exodus 34:12;
23:33; 1 Kings 11:1,2; Ezra 9:11,12; Nehemiah 10:25-30;Psalms 1:1; 26:4,5;
Prov. 12:26;13:20; 14:7; 24:1; Amos 3:3.                               #2    1
Corinthians 5:9-11; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-14; Ephesians 5:7,11; NKJV 1
Timothy6:3-5; Romans 16:17; 3 John 10,11; 2 Timothy 3:1-5]


2. If you have no need of marital affectionate/sexual intimacy, a gift
from God, you have the wonderful opportunity to serve God with
fewer "distractions", to spend much more time with Him in the Word
and prayer, and with others in ministry.  David Hocking's book on
singles beautifully explains 1 Corinthians 7:1,7,,20,25-35 and the great
opportunity the single life presents to those who want more fully to
seek and follow God with their whole heart.  Singles groups for such
people are fellowship opportunities, and provide the opportunity to
bond with friends and minister to the Body of Christ.

3. If your calling and gift is to marry, how do you seek and find that
partner?  First of all you have to have your priorities right because
marriage can become an idol just like anything else on earth can. You
have to make very sure that Matthew 6:33,34; Proverbs 3:1-8; Psalms
37:1-6; and 2 Timothy 2 are daily very real or else even our prayers are
in vain (1 John 3:22,23 and 1 John 5:14,15).

Next we have to come to the place of Luke 22:42 and Romans 6:4,11,
12,13----the place of death to self and resurrection to Love which seeks
not its own way/things---SO THAT WE ARE READY TO ACCEPT
WHOEVER HE GIVES TO US, EVEN IF HIS CHOICE SEEMS TO FALL
FAR SHORT OF OUR DREAMS AND FANTASIES.  With our "seed"
dead in the ground, He can raise us to a new life of marriage in His
will. You literally have to die to your wants and tastes in physical
appearance, personality, color hair or eyes, height, talents, income,
status etc. and be ready to accept whoever He gives to you and you will
have doubt-free peace of heart and mind if you are ready and accepting
the one  He gives to you.  Your only concern should be that your
prospective mate meets God's requirements in the Bible for a godly,
Spirit-led and Spirit-filled man/woman.

Jesus said seek and you shall find. Seeking one's mate can be as active a
process as Ruth's and Queen Esther's or it can be as privately surprising
as Adam's awakening to Eve for the first time. You can count on God
to lead you according to His word (Proverbs 3:5,6; Romans 8:14). You
can trust Him to put His ideas/desires in your heart/mind and the
opportunities to act on them (Philippians 2:13; Hebrews 13:20,21).  Like
Adam, you can wake up to her in your life in His time.  Like Issac, a
parent figure can help you find God's choice for you.  You can just be
going about your daily activities like Rebekah and, in a moment of
compassionate assistance to a stranger, you can find your mate.

Like Ruth, you can commit yourself to God's service, make a Godly
decision to step out of one situation and into another and in that new
situation be led and advised to do what seems like an ordinary work
day decision but which results in your meeting your mate quite
unexpectedly.   Following wise and Godly counsel of Godly counselors
like Ruth, you might be led to offer yourself as wife to a Godly man
who obviously cares for and admires you but for some reason feels
unworthy to ask you to be his wife.  Like David meeting Abigail, you
could just be going about your daily walk in the Lord, meet a godly
woman you admire and respect but who seems unavailable just to
quite unexpectedly find that she is both available and ready to marry
you.  Like Abigail, you could find yourself in a trying and difficult
situation with no relief in sight, but by living wisely and Godly in that
situation impress and build a relationship with the one you will
eventually marry.

With today�s laws about sexual harassment, any wise male will think
long and hard before he compliments a female on her female beauty or
appearance, long and hard before he will let her know he likes her and
is interested in getting to know her personally, long and hard before he
will ask or suggest that they go out on a date.  Because of the sexual
harassment laws the only way a woman might know a man is
interested in her is by what his eyes show, and it is now virtually up to
the woman to tell the man that if he is interested, she would like to get
to know him better and get together to talk. This is very hard for a
woman because of the chance of misreading his eyes and being rejected
and embarrassed.  That�s why men and women more than ever need
Christian singles� and couples� agencies and fellowship groups, as the
Lord leads.

THE KEY IS IN GENESIS 24:27.  Being in His way, doing His things,
saying His Words He leads you to the where and the who of your
future. It may even seem like blind faith but it has to be absolute trust
in His working all things together according to the counsel of His own
will (Ephes. 1:11; Phil. 4:6,7) free of worry, anxiety and fretting, with a
soul at rest and in peace knowing that your Shepherd-King will take
care of the need for you in His time with the person of His choice, not
necessarily of your choice. YOU MUST TRUST HIM TO USE HIS
WORD AND THE TRUTH OF ROMANS 14:22,23 WITH PHILIPPIANS
4:6,7 to guide you.  He can bring scriptures to mind to guide and direct
you.

The final test is the Spirit's gift of doubt-free peace of heart and mind.
Move and rest in that peace.  Consider every doubt and uneasiness of
spirit to be God's Romans 14 and Phil. 4 signal to you that you
shouldn't do the thing in question because either it is the wrong thing
and you don't realize it yet, or it is the right thing but you shouldn't do
it yet.  So you don't say it or do it until your consciousness is filled with
His doubt-free peace and rest of spirit about it/him/her and the Word
of God in Scripture.

APPENDIX FOUR: What makes a wedding &/or a marriage?
       From many passages in the Bible (including Ezekiel 16:8, Exodus
chapters 19 & 20, and Malachi 2:14,15) it appears clear to me that
marriage  of a couple is based on their covenant/solemn agreement to
be husband and wife to each other in a relationship of marital/ sexual
intimacy, - - whether or not they do it legally or officially.  Adam and
Eve had no formal or official wedding and exchanged no formal vows
but they accepted each other as husband and wife and lived accordingly.
There is no wedding formula in the Bible and there is no wedding
ceremony prescribed in the Bible.

When you study how they married in the Old Testament you see that
the
basis was either their covenant to be husband and wife to each other, or
they accepted their parents� covenant for them to be married. The
strongest statement I know of is the one in Matthew 1:18,19,20 where,
based on their covenant/betrothal (v.18), the Holy Spirit callED Joseph
her husband (v.19) and the angel called Mary  his wife (v.20) before
(Luke 1:26,34) their official wedding and cohabitation (v.24).   God and
His messengers call Mary and Joseph wife and husband before their
wedding and solely on the basis of their covenants to be husband and
wife to each other. This agrees with the great weight God gives our
solemn word in such passages as DBY PSALM 15: Jehovah, who shall
sojourn in thy tent?  . . . 2 He that walketh uprightly, . . .who, if he have
sworn to his own hurt, changeth it not; . . .
YLT ECCLES 5:4 � When thou vowest a vow to God, delay not to
complete it, for there is no pleasure in fools; that which thou vowest--
complete.  5 Better that thou do not vow, than that thou dost vow and
dost not complete.   6 Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin,
nor say before the messenger, that `it [is] an error,' why is God wroth
because of thy voice, and hath destroyed the work of thy hands?

All of this is to say that if you and your mate have agreed seriously
to be faithful to each other in and for marital/sexual intimacy as
husband and wife, then I believe that makes you husband and wife.
Even if you haven�t used the magic words �husband, wife, marriage�, if
you two have agreed to be faithful marital/sexual partners to each
other, to me that�s the same thing as Ezekiel 16:14 where God shows
that marriage is by covenant.  In Malachi 2 God shows again that a
woman becomes a wife by covenant, and to break that covenant is to
deal treacherously with you mate.  Sexual intimacy>m with anyone
else besides your mate is fornication, sexual sin.  If you are maritally
committed to each other and then  you yourself --- but not your mate---
--  genuinely  received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Ruler to be obeyed
and as Savior to deliver you from the penalty of your sins- - but your
guy hasn't, then I believe you find yourself in the situation described in
1 Corinthians 7:12,13,14,15, the saved mate of an unsaved person.
[>.m  see footnotes on breast pressing, petting,caressing and/or genital
contact  (Ezekiel 23:3,8,21; Prov. 5.)]

CIVIL LAW,  PERSONAL LIBERTY AND  A LOVING CONSCIENCE!


Surely Romans 13 and related passages apply.  And certainly the
principles of Romans 14 and l Cor 8 & 10 apply.  The following is a brief
summary of those principles:
1. Receive the weak in faith (their faith allows them very little personal
liberty) but not to dispute doubtful things/points>61  . Doubtful things
are things that the Bible is not explicitly clear about leaving a gray area
for individuals to exercise their own judgment (e.g. eating meat vs.
vegetarianism, length of dress, courtship and engagement, television,
movies, computer use etc.)
2. Don't despise or condemn your brother/sister in Christ if (1) they feel
free to do doubtful things or (2) they don't feel free to do doubtful
things>62
3. Don't put a stumbling block, an occasion to take offense, put an
obstacle in the way>82 , give someone an opportunity for sinning>63
4. Don't make your brethren uneasy>83  or hurt, injure or damage
others' feelings>84.
5. Don't destroy your brethren's faith with your personal liberty>64
6. Let not the personal liberty your faith allows be evil spoken of>65
7. Do that which builds and helps the faith of your brethren>66  .
8. Don't put a temptation to sin in someone's way>.85 , or do that
which leads another to sin>.86 .
9. Have your faith from the Word that allows you your personal liberty
privately, discretely and personally before God and be happy in it>67
10. Don't do anything you have doubts about, doubts about whether or
not it is God's will for you to do, be or have)>68
11. If your faith is strong allowing you a great deal of personal liberty,
you should bear the weaknesses of those whose faith allows little
personal liberty, not pleasing ourselves.  Seek to please your brethren
for their good, growth and development in the Lord and Word>69  .
[Footnote: [>61    (Rm.14:1)        >62   . (Rm. 14:3,4)        >.82 Please see
Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon.      >83 Please see Thayer's Lexicon.       >63
(Rm. 14:13).      >.84  Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon.       >64  .
(Rm 14:15).      >65    (Rm. 14:16,17).      >66    (Rm. 14:18,19).       >.85
(Rm. 14:13)Please see Arndt & Gingrich's Lexicon.        >.86  Please see
Thayer's Lexicon.       >67  (Rm.14:22).        >68   . (Rm. 14:23).       >69   .
(Rm. 15:1-3)]

But how do these principles apply?  Obviously polygyny or
concubinage is a felony to officially marry (by man's laws) more than
one woman in terms of the government's law, public records,
inheritance laws and divorce laws in most Western or industrial
nations.  Obviously it is socially acceptable, legal and not a felony in
most Asian nations, the Mid East, Africa and Indian tribes in the
Americas.  That is as clear as black and white.  But there is a great big
gray area.  Many Western states recognize informal marriage
(concubinage) as common law marriages but as soon as they become
official they come under the monogamy laws.  But they can live for
years in the morally acceptable informal and unofficial common law
status without any illegality.

Under Administrative Law in California, County Welfare officials set
up semi-official marriages with   people  who live together without
being married where one or both parties could still be legally married
to others. Administrative Welfare law recognizes them as a semi-
married couple and will grant them AFDC aid and even help them get
divorces so they can eventually marry IF THEY WISH.  With the state's
approval they live together as a family sometimes for years, but they
have no IRS rights, or inheritance rights or marital tax status from the
state as a married  couple. It is legal and approved of by state law.

California's courts have also established palimony rights where they
protect the covenant/contractual rights of people living in unofficial
marriage or concubinage.  While they have no official tax status or
inheritance rights the courts have established that a marital
relationship and the members of that relationship have protection
under the law in terms of their covenants, contracts, vows, espousal or
betrothal.  The courts have awarded "palimony", property and child
custody rights in and from these relationships.  The new no-
discrimination-against-one's-sexual-orientation laws protect those who
practice informal contractual polygyny  or concubinage.

Since God prescribes no "wedding ceremony", ritual, vows or rite>87 to
make two people married, leaving it to the local churches to have their
own redeemed local and indigenous marital customs>88 .   The vows,
covenants, betrothals and prenuptial contracts seem to be covered by
God's standards in the following:
[Footnote: >87 See appendix #4 .      >.88 See appendix #4 .]
MKJV EZEKIEL 16: 3 �And say, So says the Lord Jehovah to Jerusalem, .
. 8 And I passed by you and looked on you, and, behold, your time
[was] the time of love. And I spread my skirt over you and covered
your nakedness. And I swore to you and entered into a covenant with
you, says the Lord Jehovah. And you became Mine.�
MKJV MALACHI 2:14 �Yet you say, Why? Because the LORD has been
witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you
have dealt treacherously; yet she [is] your companion and your
covenant wife. 15 And did He not make [you] one? Yet the vestige of
the Spirit [is in] him. And what [of] the one? He was seeking a godly
seed. Then guard your spirit, and do not act treacherously with the wife
of your youth. 16 The LORD, the God of Israel, says He hates sending
away; and to cover [with] violence on his garment, says the LORD of
hosts. Then guard your spirit, and do not act treacherously.�   Here "act
treacherously" means " break covenant" or "fail to honor your
covenant/commitment".
MKJV ECCLES. 5:4 �� When you vow a vow to God, do not wait to pay
it. For He has no pleasure in fools. Pay that which you have vowed.  5
[it is] better that you should not vow, than that you should vow and
not pay.  6 Do not allow your mouth to cause your flesh to sin; do not
say before the angel that it [was] an error. Why should God be angry at
your voice and destroy the work of your hands? �
MKJV PSALM 15:1 � �A Psalm of David. LORD, who shall dwell in
Your tabernacle?  . . . 2 He who walks uprightly, and works
righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart; . . . [he] has sworn to
his hurt, and does not change it; 5. . . He who does these [things] shall
not be moved forever.�
MKJV ROMANS 1:28 �And even as they did not think fit to have God
in [their] knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do
the things not right, 29 being filled with all unrighteousness . . . 31 . . .
covenant-breakers. . . 32 who, knowing the righteous order of God, that
those practicing such things are worthy of death, not only do them, but
have pleasure in those practicing [them].�

       It is the treachery of  breaking marital covenants that God
condemns in these passages and that which he hates. "Yes, I swore an
oath to you and entered into covenant with you, and you became
Mine," says the Lord God>70  .  We become a part of the bride of Christ
in the same way.  The Spirit considered Mary and Joseph as husband
and wife on the basis of their espousal/betrothal/ covenants even
before the wedding and the coming together>71.
[Footnote: >70   (Ezek. 16:8).      >71   (Mat. 1:18-25 ;Deut. 22:23-27)]

So why can't two Christians exchange espousal/betrothal covenants
and become each other's marital partners without a formal marriage
which would be illegal?  Of course they can since common law
marriages are legally acceptable in most of America�s states and in most
of the countries of the world.   But should they?  We are bound by our
covenants and God makes it clear He has no pleasure in the fools who
break them >72  .  We enter into the gray zone of the liberty we have in
Christ>73  that is limited by the cords of Agape love.  Yes two
Christians could exchange their vows/ covenants without a
formal/legal wedding day but if they became involved in intimacy and
that intimacy became an offense or stumbling block to another saint it
would be sin and could destroy the work of Christ in another or
embolden a weak one to be intimate contrary to his/her conscience>74
 So is such  intimacy a sin between two Christians who have solemnly
and formally covenanted before God that they are maritally one flesh
as long as they both live? It is neither illegal nor sinful but it becomes
sin if it stumbles, offends, grieves another in Christ> 75 .
[Footnote: >72  (Eccles. 5:5; Psalm 15).      >73    (Rom 14).      >74   (l Cor. 8
& 10).       >75    (Rom. 14; 1 Cor. 8 & 10).]

But what about the command in Romans 14 that states that if you have
a solid controversial conviction from the Word, have it to yourself
before God?  Happy is the one who does not condemn himself in what
he approves>76  .  But woe to him if he does it with doubts or offense
to another in Christ.   So it seems to be with post covenant but pre-
wedding day intimacy.  It seems to be the same case with polygyny /
concubinage.  Do you practice/believe in
polygyny /concubinage?  Have it and do so privately and very
discreetly before God.  Happy is the one who does not condemn one's
self in what he approves in the liberty of Christ. But she who
practices/believes in polygyny /concubinage with doubts is condemned
if she indulges because she does not practice it  out of conviction from
the Spirit and the Word.  polygyny/concubinage is indeed pure, but it is
evil to practice it if it stumble, offends,
grieves or weakens your brethren in Christ>77  .
[Footnote: >76    (Rom 14:22,23).      >77    (Rom. 14; 1 Cor. 8 & 10)]

Foreign Christian polygynists visiting Western monogamous societies
encounter a special challenge.   Spiritual and Godly Christians would
be able to handle it well and in the Lord, but the unsaved, the carnal,
the Spiritual milk drinkers, the legalists, the ignorant,  and those weak
of conscience would all have varying problems with a Christian
polygynist and his wives visiting their Western/Occidental church>78
  The visiting Christian polygynist should do all within his power to
not let his liberty hinder the
effectiveness of his testimony and witness to these people, if they
would be willing to receive it.
[Footnote: >78    (1 Cor. 8 & 10; Rom. 14 & 15)]

Hopefully mercy and compassion would move the Christian
polygynist to not flaunt his polygyny in the face of such "Christians"
even though they are so unlike Christ.  Mercy would move the
polygynist to not lay a heavier burden on the weak than they can bear,
not wanting their liberty to cause their weak brethren to fall into sin.
Compassion would move the polygynists to be sensitive to the
weakness and doubts of the weak saints.  Obviously the
polygynist would not be an official leader in the church and would not
be visiting local churches as a leader/elder/deacon/ bishop/
overseer/etc.>79  .   Ideally the local saints would be bearing the fruits
of the Spirit and receive such foreign visitors with mercy and
compassion.  If they agreed and were able>80  for a short while to be
separated, the polygynist could visit the Western church bringing one
or none of his wives so as to reduce the controversy.  The same would
be true of a polygynist wife visiting the West without her husband,
under the rule of 1 Cor. 7:4,5.
[Footnote:  >79  (1 Tim. 3 and Ti. 1).       >80   (1 Cor. 7:5)]
MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 �The wife does not have authority over [her]
own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband does not
have power [over his] own body, but the wife.  5 Do not deprive one
another, unless [it is] with consent for a time, so that you may [give
yourselves to] fasting and prayer. And come together again so that
Satan does not tempt you for your incontinence.�

XXIII.  BIBLIOGRAPHY

>1. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The
Christian
Church, Vol. IV; edited by Philip Schaff (D.d., LL.D.);  W.B. Eerdmans
Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956
>2. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The
Christian
Church, Vol. V; edited by Philip Schaff (D.d., LL.D.); ; W.B. Eerdmans
Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956; p. 267
>3. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The
Christian
Church, Vol. VIII; edited by Philip Schaff (D.d., LL.D.) and Henry Wace
(D.D.) ;  W.B.  Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956
>4. A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of The
Christian
Church, Vol. XIV; edited by Philip Schaff (D.D., LL.D.) and Henry Wace
(D.D.) ; W.B.   Eerdmans  Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956
>5. Amplified Bible, The; 1965, Zondervan Publishing House
>6. ANALYTICAL GREEK LEXICON, THE: Harper & Brothers, New
York
>7. Arndt & Gingrich: A GREEK-ENGLISH LEXICON OF THE NEW
TESTAMENT and Other Early Christian Literature  ; By W.F.Arndt &
F. W. Gingrich; The Univ. of Chicago Press, Chicago, Ill.; Cambridge at
the Univ. Press.; 1957
>8. ASV: The Holy Bible, American Standard Version 1901 & 1929;
Thomas
Nelson & Sons, New York
>9. Gold Cord, by Amy Carmichael, Christian Literature Crusade, Fort
Worthington, Penna.; London's Society for the Promotion of Christian
Knowledge, Holy Trinity Church, Marylebone Rd., N.W. (N.Y. The
Macmillan Company).
>10.  CUSTOMS AND CULTURES, Anthropology for Christian
Missions, by Eugene A. Nida1954, Harper & Brothers, New York
>11. Darby's 1890 translation: Most of the scriptures quoted in this
work, if
not otherwise indicated, are from the a modernized version of J. N.
Darby's
translation, the  OnLine Bible computer program of  "Online Bible f ",
Ken
Hammil  1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail: [email protected]].
>12. DIVORCE, John Murray, Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing
Co.  \
>13. G. Duty's book on divorce and remarriage , Downers Grove, Ill.
>14. HASTING'S DICTIONARY OF THE BIBLE; 1989, Hendrickson
Publishers, Inc., Peabody, Mass;, Editor James Hastings, DD.,
>15. I LOVED A GIRL;  Walter Trobisch,  Inter-Varsity Press, Downers
Grove, Ill.
>16. INTERNATIONAL BIBLE COMMENTARY, THE; Editor,
F.F.Bruce; 1979; Zondervan      Publishing House, Grand Rapids
Michigan.
>17.    Jay Adam's� book on divorce and remarriage
>18. JEWISH: The Holy Scriptures according to the Masoretic Text,
1955, The Jewish        Publication Society.
>19. KINSHIP & MARRIAGE, Robin Fox, 1967,  Penguin Books, Inc.,
USA & England
>20. LAMSA: The Holy Bible from Ancient Eastern Manuscripts, 1940,
Holman Co., by G.               Lamsa.
>21. MARRIAGE EAST AND WEST; David & Vera Mace, 1960,
Dolphin Books, Double Day & Co., Inc. Garden City, NY
>22.MARRYING AGAIN; David Hocking, 1977, Fleming H. Revell Co.
>23. MKJV: MODERN KING JAMES VERSION, 1993, by Jay P. Green
Sr., in Online Bible 2.5.1; the  OnLine Bible computer program of
"Online Bible f ", Ken Hammil  1-       908-741-4298; [E-Mail:
[email protected]].
>24. MY WIFE MADE ME A POLYGAMIST; Walter Trobisch, 1971,
Inter-Varsity Press,
>25. NASB: Holy Bible New American Standard; Broadman & Holman
Publishers, Nashville Tenn.; The Lockman Foundation, 1977
>26. NEB: NEW ENGLISH BIBLE, 1970; Oxford/Cambridge University
Press
>27.  NEW BIBLE DICTIONARY, THE; Editor J.D.Douglas Ph.D; 1962;
W. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids, Mich.
>28.  NEW TESTAMENT GREEK FOR BEGINNERS, By, J. Gresham
Machen, D.D, Litt. D.,1959
>29. NIV:  "Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW
INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright @ 1973, 1978, 1984
International Bible Society." Used as required by Zondervan Bible
Publishers.
>30. NKJV:  New King James Version, 1984, Thomas Nelson, Inc.
>31. OnLine Bible computer program of  "Online Bible f ", Ken
Hammil  1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail: [email protected]].
>32.  PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE LOVE ME!; Walter Trobisch,  Inter-
Varsity Press,
>33. St. Augustin: On The Trinity; translated by Arthur West Haddan,
B.D.; W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., Grand Rapids Mich; 1956
>34. Strong�s Lexicon, Open Bible "Online Bible f", Ken Hammil  1-908-
741-
4298.  Also Baker Book House, Grand Rapids, Mich.
>35. Thayer: Greek English Lexicon of the New Testament; Joseph
Henry Thayer, D.D.; American Book Co., New York, 1889
>36.  The Septuagint of the Old Testament and Apocrypha With an
English
Translation; Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan;
1972;
Samuel Bagster & Sons, Ltd. London
>37. WOMEN'S LIVES IN MEDIEVAL EUROPE  - A SOURCEBOOK;
Edited by Emile Amt;    Routledge, Chapman, Hall; NY, NY; 1993
>38. Wuest's THE NEW TESTAMENT, An Expanded Translation,
Kenneth S. Wuest, 1961
>39. YLT; Young's Literal Translation, 1898: OnLine Bible computer
program of  "Online Bible f ", Ken Hammil  1-908-741-4298; [E-Mail:
[email protected]].

TOPICS: FOREVER MARRIAGES CROSS CULTURALLY,  FORMAL
AND INFORMAL  CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE, COMMON LAW
MARRIAGE, CHRISTIAN DIVORCE, CHRISTIAN REMARRIAGE,
CHRISTIAN CONCUBINES, CHRISTIAN POLYGYNY (POLYGAMY),
RACISM, ETHNOCENTRICITY, AND  THE SWEARING  OF OATHS

TITLE: DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, & JESUS; Another
Look for Christians.

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Copyright � 01/14/'95; 01/12/�96  (Revised)
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networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so inclined.
This is an ASCII text only copy of a Macintosh MicrosoftWord5 file
made for non-Macintosh folks, so it is very plain and basic in its form
(footnotes, indentation and page layout).  The document is 6" wide and
Palatino 12 plain font in the original.  So when your text only version
comes up with Palatino 14, just select all and change it to Palatino 12 or
10. There are no bold or underline options.   The distinctions between
footnotes of sources and footnotes of reference are lost.  So please be
patient with the footnote numbering. The footnotes are put at the end
of the paragraphs instead of in the text itself, making it more readable.
You may find extra >�s and some >�s where r�s should be.  Didn�t get to
proof that far yet. Please be patient.

By L. Tyler   P.O. Box 620763, SanDiego, CA 92162-0763
 [email protected]         [email protected]         [email protected]

TABLE OF CONTENTS  (These page numbers are correct with Palatino
14 ,left and right margins of 1.25"each, and top and bottom margins at
1" each.)
I. INTRODUCTION:  PRIORITIES  RECONSIDERED.  P. 4
II. DIVORCE!  A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.  P. 8
III. DIVORCE DEFINED.  P. 23
IV.  VARIETIES OF MARRIAGE  IN THE BIBLE, OLD AND NEW
       TESTAMENTS -- LET THE WORD SPEAK ABOUT POLYGYNY
       AND CONCUBINES!  P. 25
V. WHAT DO CHRISTIAN LEADERS SAY ABOUT CONCUBINES
       &       POLYGYNY?  P. 50
VI.  ADULTERY DEFINED:  A SURPRISE!  ISN�T POLYGYNY
       ADULTERY?   P. 66
VII. SO, WHAT ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY TODAY IN
       MY      COUNTRY? P. 73
VIII. ARE POLYGYNISTS AND CONCUBINES LIVING  IN
       ERROR   TODAY?  P. 82
IX.  MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL  LIBERTY
AND     A LOVING CONSCIENCE!  P. 87
X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND
       ADULTERY?       P.      91
XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER & REMMARY AFTER
       ADULTEROUS REMARRIAGE?  P. 99
XII.  WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS INVOLVED IN
       SUCH  REUNIONS? P. 108
XIII.  CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE, VOWS AND REPENTANCE
       RESULT IN  POLYGYNY/CONCUBINAGE?  P. 112
XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, CONCUBINES,  POLYGYNY AND
       THE     UNSAVED. P. 119
XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD
WIVES/CONCUBINES        TO      HIS "HAREM".  P. 121
XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES  OPTIONS FOR THE
       ABANDONED       MAN?  P. 126
XVII. POLYGYNISTS,  CONCUBINES  AND THE LEADERS OF
       GOD'S  PEOPLE.  P. 129
XVIII. POLYGYNY &  CONCUBINES AND THE WESTERN
       CHRISTIAN WOMAN.  P. 130
XIX. WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLYANDRY?  P. 134
XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT-TEACHERS
RULE    .P. 137
XXI. THREE CHEERS FOR MONOGAMY!  THE BEST FOR
       MOST!  P. 141
XXII. LISTEN TO THE WORD!  P. 145
XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY  P. 147
APPENDIX ONE -- WHAT ABOUT INTERRACIAL  AND
       INTERETHNIC     MARRIAGE?  P.150
APPENDIX TWO -- WHAT DO YOU THINK? THE FEEDING OF
       TWO     LEGGED OXEN.  P.157
APPENDIX THREE -- A WEDDING COVENANT FOR
       NONSWEARERS -   P. 159
APPENDIX FOUR -- WHAT MAKES A WEDDING/MARRIAGE? -
       P. 161
APPENDIX FIVE -- MARRYING THE UNSAVED AND "SAINTS"
       LIVING IN ERROR. - P.163
APPENDIX SIX -- WHEN DO I HAVE TO MARRY? - P. 167
APPENDIX SEVEN -- THE ERRR OF SWEARING, OF OATHS
       AND     SWEARING OATHS. -P.182


RELATED THOUGHTS AND ISSUES FROM THE PARENT FILE

Since the harlot is one flesh with every fornicator she has sexual union
with and the husband is one flesh with his wife, the �one flesh�
principle is not unique to marriage and cannot be an argument for
monogamy or against polygyny .  The �one flesh� principle is physical
reality that describes only the result of sexual union, whether it
involve a harlot, a fornicator, a married couple or a polygamous
marriage.  David, Israel and Abraham were �one flesh� with each of
their wives, just as the adulteress of Prov. 6 & 7 was one flesh with
each of her adulterers. Under the Law by Moses, being �one flesh�
could have been the basis for marriage>11  but not so for us after the
Sinai Law of Moses was declared voided in Eph. 2 and Col. 2, especially
in the case of 1 Cor. 7:9; 1 Tm. 5:11-14.  If we do not control ourselves
today, we are commanded to marry>12 , but who to marry is not
specified, only that your mate be saved>13 and godly>14.
[Footnotes: >11   (Deut. 22:22-30; Ex. 22:16,17).    >12  1 Cor. 7:9,36;  1 Tim
5:14;  Appendix Six of this document.    >13. 2 Corinthians 6.    .>14 1
Corinthians 5:9-11; 2 Thess. 3:6-14]

The woman's repentance option explains the �double standard� and
apparent inequity of 1 Corinthians 7:10,11 where it appears that the
woman who has left her husband has the repentance option of
remaining single but the man must never leave his wife. If a wife left
her husband according to 1 Cor. 7:11, he would immediately be put in
the hazardous position of 1 Corinth 7:1-5, being tempted to sin because
his wife will not give him the marital sexual outlet since she is gone. It
seemed to me to be quite unfair that she could leave him and live
unmarried, and he, knowing he is still bound to her for life, has to
struggle with the burning temptations predicted in 1 Corinth. 7:1-5, 9
with no legitimate sexual outlet.

Then I realized that 1 Corinth. 7:1-5 predicted his need of marital
intimacy, how Satan would use the wife's absence to tempt him, how
marital intimacy is the prescription to avoid Satan's temptations, and
then the command  in verse 9  plainly commands the one to marry
who is failing to have successful self-control>100  .  Then I realized that
the polygyny  option balanced the equation.  The wife could leave her
husband and remain single and the husband who was still bound to
such a departed wife seems to have had a Biblical option of polygyny /
concubinage, (depending on the laws of his land) if he found himself
tempted and burning as in 1 Cor. 7:5, 9,12.  She could leave and he
could remarry becoming a polygamist and the inequity was gone.  She
could separate and remain single, and he could remarry as long as he
recognized that he was still bound to his separated wife.
[Footnote: >100    See Appendix Six.]

So the divorce is only a  legal recognition of the wife's departure and
unwillingness to be reconciled, while he still publicly recognizes  the
binding nature of their relationship.  Then he  remarries another
Christian because his burning and his 1 Cor. 7:5 predicted failures to
control himself bring him under the command to marry in l Cor. 7:9,36
(NIV & Amplified "they should marry"),
1 Cor. 7:36 (NIV "They should get married);
1 Tim 5:14 (NIV "So I counsel younger widows to marry.."
       Amplified "So I would have younger [widows] marry..") and
1 Thess 4:3-8 (NIV "that each of you should learn to control his own
body in a way that is holy and honorable . . ..") >101
[Footnote>101  Please see Appendix Six;   NIV  , NEW INTERNA-
TIONAL VERSION. ]

Seeing her brother-husband in need, she shuts up her feelings of
compassion>88  .  But in the meantime she has killed   his affections
for her
by her words and deeds and his affection goes unanchored now.  She
refuses to welcome his affectionate and intimate touch in disobedience
to the Word>89  .    As predicted, Theo is being sexually tempted by
Satan and Theo finds himself burning  and sometimes failing >90  to
control himself when exposed to things like pornography.  Tempted,
burning and sometimes failing to control himself,  Theo finds himself
under the command to marry (be having his own wife)>n89.  Safronia
refuses to help him meet his needs, and he can't divorce her because
she claims to be saved >91  . Since she cares not for affection with him,
he might exercise his liberty to have a concubine in the manner of
Romans 14.  If his faith allows him to have a concubine but having a
concubine would grieve, offend and/or stumble someone, perhaps
even his Arctic wife, then wouldn't he have to exercise his faith's
personal liberty by having his concubine  privately and discretely
between himself, her and God so as not to let his liberty offend the
Body of Christ.
[Footnote: >88    (1 John 3:14-18).      >89    (1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5).      >90  (1 Cor.
7:9, see Appendix 6).        >.n89  See Appendix Six.        >91   (1
Cor.7:10,11,39; Mark 10:1-12).]

He could be moved by her plight and pray for an unencumbered
husband for her.  But if God doesn�t provide another and the sister is
burning, having great trouble with and almost succumbing to
temptations, his continued prayer alone would be empty piety like in
the following:
MKJV JAMES 2: 14 � �My brothers, what profit [is it] if a man says he
has
faith and does not have works? Can faith save him?15 If a brother or
sister is
naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and if one of you says to them, Go
in
peace, be warmed and filled, but you do not give them those things
which are
needful to the body, what good [is it]? 17 Even so, if it does not have
works,
faith is dead, being by itself.�

He would seem to be compelled to intervene, offering himself in
marriage to her as he desires anyway, to enable her to obey God�s
solution for her problem>101  . This could even be the case if his
chastely separated and divorced "Christian"� wife was carnal and too
selfish/rebellious to be moved by her plight and 1 John 3:17 to approve
of her divorced Christian man�s plan to marry her.  You don�t let the
saint who seeks God�s solution be destroyed because of a carnal saint
who resists or refuses compassion and God�s solutions.
[Footnote: >101  (1 Cor. 7:1,2,3,9; see Appendix Six).]

Why would a Western/Occidental woman ever  consider polygyny
/concubinage?  It is clearly a sin to marry an unsaved person> 104 .  She
knows she must not marry an unsaved man>105 or a snared-in-sin
"saint">106.   If a Christian woman in a Western church finds the
usual shortage of godly brothers, yet earnestly desires marriage or is
commanded to marry>91 she may consider marrying a Christian
brother (1) whose �Christian� wife has divorced him exercising her
option>107 to be separate and chaste,  or (2) who sinfully divorced his
�Christian� wife who now will not forgive him or be reconciled to
him, exercising her option to be separate and chaste.
[Footnote: >104   (2 Cor. 6 & 7 etc.).      >105  (2 Cor. 6:14-7:2).      >106  See
Appendix five.         >91  See Appendix Six.          >107 1 Cor 7:10.]

If this Western Christian sister is burning with passion and not
successfully
controlling her passions and/or imagination consistently, she must
marry>92.  If she finds herself in repeated defeat morally and spiritually
and the only Christian brother who is available or interested is the one
who is legally divorced from a Christian wife who wants chaste
separation without
reconciliation,  the choice to marry in Biblical polygyny  would be
more
acceptable than continued burning and moral defeats. It is clearly a sin
to
marry an unsaved>#5 or backslidden Christian>108 .  It is not a sin to
exercise personal liberty in Christ  in covenanted polygyny .Yes, the
polygyny
of being married to a divorced Christian man who is bound for life to
his
former wife who left/ divorced him and refuses to be reconciled to
him,
exercising her option of chaste separation.
[Footnote: >92See Appendix Six.      >#5  See Appendix #5.       >108 (l
Cor. 5:11; 2 Thess 3:6,14).]

APPENDIX : WHAT DO YOU THINK? THE FEEDING OF TWO
LEGGED OXEN.

        I am not trying to meddle or cause trouble.  I just want to know
if there are any mistakes in the ideas above in terms of scripture alone,
not in  terms of man's condemned traditions (Mark 7).I really want to
know what the Bible says about the subjects discussed above.  I want to
live by every Word of God, not by the commandments and traditions
of man (Mat. 15, Mark 7 and Colos 2).
       This  document before you now is an appendix to MY LOVE IS A
GARDEN OF DELIGHTS! (my commentary on the Song of Solomon
for concubines and  polygynists) and is available in MacWrite or
Microsoft Word on a Mac DD 3.5  disk $5 ($8 overseas) for packaging,
postage and copying; At least $10 USA--$14
overseas/foreign/Canada/Mexico --  for postage, copying and handling.
Contact L. Tyler, P.O.Box EI (not EL); Lemon Grove, CA 91946; Internet
E-Mail address:  [email protected] .   Donations are welcome, for
all the time it takes to prepare and mail the items requested.  It costs
about $4 computer online time with my online service to upload and
Email this Divorce and Remarriage study.   Please feel free to donate
more for the time and expense of this ministry if the Lord has used it
for good in your life.

PLEASE ADVISE ME OF ANY AND ALL ERRORS (TYPOS,
DOCTRINAL, ETC.) THAT YOU FIND.  PLEASE GIVE ME CLEAR
AND EXPLICIT SCRIPTURES  DEALING WITH THE  ERROR WHEN
YOU WRITE.  I WANT THE WORD, NOT OPINIONS AND
PARADIGMS.
       Any and all donations are welcomed for the furthering and the
expense of this very controversial ministry. Donations are welcome for
the furthering of this ministry. It has taken a great deal of time.  If the
information in this work has ministered to you, I would appreciate
your ministry to me to get this information out and to the Church.
Otherwise I have to "make tents".  If I  time from "making tents"
permits, this work will be revised monthly.  In the next
publication/distribution I hope to provide the actual texts for all
references.
Ro 15:27 Truly it has pleased them, and they are their debtors. For if the
nations have been made partakers of their spiritual things, their duty is
also
to minister to them in carnal things.
1 Cor. 9:9 For it is written in the law of Moses, "You shall not muzzle
the
mouth of the ox treading out grain." Does God take care for oxen? 10 Or
does
He say [it] altogether for our sakes? It was written for us, so that he who
plows should plow [in] hope, and so that he who threshes [in] hope
should be
partaker of his hope. 11 If we have sown to you spiritual things, [is it] a
great
thing if we shall reap your carnal things?  12 If others have a share of
[this]
authority [over] you, rather [should] not we? But we have not used this
authority, but we endured all things lest we should hinder the gospel
of
Christ.
13 Do you not know that those who minister about holy things live [of
the things] of the temple? And those attending the altar are partakers
with the altar. 14 Even so, the Lord ordained those announcing the
gospel to live from the gospel.Galatians 6:6 But let him who is taught
in the Word share with the [one] teaching in all good things.
1Ti 5:17 Let the elders who rule well be counted worthy of double
honor, especially those who labor in word and doctrine. 18 For the
Scripture says, "You shall not muzzle the ox treading out grain," and,
"The laborer [is] worthy of his reward."
AS THE LORD LEADS.

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