WHO IS LEE TYLER, AND WHY SHOULD ANYONE CARE?
COPYRIGHT � JANUARY 14, 1996 All rights reserved.
by Lee Tyler
[email protected] [email protected]
This file, in its entirety, may be posted on or copied off of
computer networks like Internet or WWW by anyone so
inclined.
This is an ASCII text only copy of a Macintosh MicrosoftWord5
file made for non-Macintosh folks, so it is very plain and basic
in its form (footnotes, indentation and page layout). So when
your text only version comes up with Palatino 14, just select all
and change it to Palatino or Geneva 12 or 10 for a readable
copy.
You may ask "Who are you?", or "Tell me about yourself".
What makes you run? What motivates you? What is
important to you? Maybe this letter to my three Black-Indian-
Caucasian daughters might give you an idea.
Dear Daughters,
It is popular nowadays to talk about personal miracles
and angel experiences. Christmas is such a miracle of Love.
During this Christmas miracle time,I would like to share with
you some of the miracles and angel experiences God used to
keep your old daddy alive long enough to allow you girls to be
born. I never meant to be such a handful for God, but I seem
to have a knack for it. So bear with me and consider what God
did to let you be born, to have the gift of Life so you too can
give the gift of Love.
#1 DELIVERED FROM ELECTROCUTION
There was the time when 10 year old me was in the bathroom
standing barefoot on a very wet floor. There were two neon
lights about 3' long, one on each side of the 3' mirror running
vertical to the floor, and both were turned on.. Somehow I
slipped and caught my self spread eagle style, putting my left
hand through the left neon light and my right hand through the
right side neon light. Both neon lights broke and did I get a
shock! But not even bad enough to see a doctor (brain damage
doesn't count :) .
#2. DELIVERED FROM SUICIDE
By the age of twelve (just finished seventh grade) I was
almost 5' 10" tall and weighed about 140 lbs. and I had a
pretty bad record in the community. I had a "D" average for
grades K - 6. I was spanked at least each month by the
principal for misconduct and I was either suspended or
expelled each semester starting with the fourth grade through
the sixth grade. In the seventh grade I had a "C-" average
with a lot of "D's" in conduct and I was getting into trouble with
the girls. I had been kicked out of my church's youth group
because I kept on breaking up the meetings by goofing off and
clowning around. I believed in God and the Bible, but I sure
didn't know Him personally and I figured He was unhappy
with me like everybody else. I figured, at 12, that there was
no Love in the world, that every body only had user unfriendly
conditional love, selfish love, and I decided I didn't want to live
in a world where there was no Love. I didn't believe there was
any Love on earth and for sure I didn't believe that my mom
and dad loved me. My mom was so desperate to salvage her
first born son that she decided to force me to go to the church's
September Palomar camp in hope of a miracle. On the way to
Palomar on the church bus, I decided that since there was no
Love on earth, I would either jump off Laurel St. Bridge in
Balboa Park or join the local street and motorcycle gang,
drinking, smoking marijuana and fooling around with the girls
until I got killed like some I knew.
That night at camp I saw people doing something I had
never seen before, consistently and sincerely loving on each
other and joyful. I wanted what they had desperately so I
decided I would imitate them so maybe I could fit and they
would accept me into their joyful and loving society. I knew
what they had was real when I got up that next freezing
morning on Mt. Palomar, walked into the men's room and saw
guys really joyful and really loving each other, heart to heart
and eye to eye. All the more I decided that I wanted what
they had and tried to imitate them so I could at least be
accepted by them, if I couldn't have what they had.
On a noon hike that Saturday I was hanging out on the
edge of the group, trying to fit in and catch what they had. I
tripped over a Manzanita root and meant to say "shoot" but
said "sheet" instead, and said it loud enough for THEM to hear.
I knew that "sheet" was "shit" with a Mexican accent to THEM
and I felt I had totally blown my cover and that THEY all now
knew that I wasn't really one of them, but a faker. I blew up
over that Manzanita root, kicking it and hitting the bush while
verbally overflowing with stuff like "Doggone it! What's wrong
with me! I can't do anything right! I always mess up! Just
about the time I think I got it right, then I mess up! What the
heck is wrong with me!"
Now I don't know if she was an angel or not. I never saw
her before or after that encounter with the bush. I never got
her name. Later when I tried to figure out who she was, I
thought that maybe it was a young lady at church who looked a
lot like her, but she denied that it was her. Well whoever she
was, she came gently over to me as I was kicking the root and
hitting the tree and verbally dumping. She quietly stood
beside me and asked me if I would like to know why I do
things like I was doing, why I mess up. Well you know that I
wanted to know that, because I was sick and tired of messing
up, especially after messing up in the presence of the first real
joyful and loving people I ever knew. So she asked me to sit
down on a big rock over looking Don Valley on Palomar Mt. and
she proceeded to explain to me why I messed and how Jesus
could still Love a jerk like me. For the next three hours she
showed me, gently and patiently, how and why Jesus Loved
me.
I believed Jesus was real, but I sure didn't think that He
Loved me. The proof that persuaded me that God not only
could but actually did Love me was that Christ died for me. I
could argue with most other points, but I couldn't deny that
Jesus died. Even unbelievers believed Jesus lived and died.
To me that was a historical fact that few disputed. So when I
saw that I had solid historical evidence that Jesus died, I was
ready to seriously consider that just maybe He Loved me
enough to really die for me. I respected and believed the
Bible, so when she showed me book after book, chapter after
chapter, verse after verse that plainly stated that the reason
Jesus died (that solid historical fact), was because God so Loved
me and the world and because He wanted to Love me as
Father, as Shepherd, as King, as Deliverer in a very intimate
and personal relationship, - - - - my eyes began to see, my
mind to understand my heart wanted that Love. When she
showed me why He let them kill Him, that it was His choice,
that He died to take my place in the court of Divine Justice-----
-- well she had me. I couldn't deny that he died, and she
persuaded that God so Loved me that He sent His only begotten
Son to die in my place so that I could be His child -------
Eureka! Yahoo! I had discovered the Love I was looking for, a
Love that I could live for, a Love to give my life to and for. I
already believed that He rose from the dead and was coming
back. Now I could have a relationship with the GOD who was
Love.
I believed her, accepted Him and got all excited. I told
her that I had to check all of this out with the youth sponsor,
Chuck Hill, to make sure that all that she told me was right on.
If she were an angel, then I can see why I had to check it out
with Chuck, because the Bible makes it plain that soul-winning
is the work, not of angels, but of the Spirit and his human
servants. After Chuck confirmed everything the woman had
told me, I tanked him and went up the other hill side to pray
my prayer of thanks, believing, receiving and trusting Jesus as
my God and Saviour. I was such a babe I didn't realize that I
had been born again as soon as I talked to Chuck, because
I believed and had faith in Jesus and His Word as soon a Chuch
confirmed it all. I believed and was born again even before I
made my big formal acceptance prayer.
Talk about a radical life change! Within a month of my
8th grade year (Oct. or Nov.) my grades averaged "B", I was a
leader in my church youth group, my school's Bible club (the
girls had a hard time believing I had changed), and I
determined to do what I could do for my messed up family,
especially my mom and dad.
I don't know if that young lady was an angel, but I never
saw her again at that camp after that three hour talk. I never
saw her again anywhere at anytime. Nobody else knew about
her. But God used her to keep your Dad from jumping off the
Laurel St. bridge or dying with the street and motorcycle
gangsters, perhaps so I could be your dad.
#3 DELIVERED FROM ELECTROCUTION
Then there was the time my dad told me to cut the electric
wire with the all metal scissors and bare hands (no insulation
at all). I asked if the current was off and he said he had turned
it off. Well he hadn't and instead of me getting the shock of my
life, the current just blew as 3/16ths" hole through the cutting
blade of the steel scissors.
#4 DELIVERED FROM MY DEADLY BAD DRIVING
The driving miracles are the ones I like the best. There was
the convenient driving miracle. I was helping drive a medical
"missionary" and his large family from Sacramento CA to the
county of Belize (British Honduras). We arrived a Laredo Texas
with some tire problems. The garage mechanic, unfriendly
from the start, told us we needed two new front tires and inner
tubes (1962). He and his crew were sullen and unfriendly and
seemed to resent the Christian stuff the medic had on his big
bus and on the little van I was driving. So they put two new
tires and inner tubes on the front of the van I drove. We were
glad to leave such hostile people and spent the rest of the day
driving into Mexico and Ciudad Victoria of Tamaulipas.
Just before sunset and after a long hot day driving over
very rough road and rough country (with no AAA help
available) I began to drive up a bridge that arched over
another highway on the outskirts of Cd. Victoria. With a full
load of kids and luggage I slowed to under 30 mph going up
the arch, probably the safest driving situation all day, when
both front tires popped and went flat. There I am at the top of
this arch bridge with two flat front tires. What to do?
Providentially there were nice motel accommodations 100 yds
further along and one block from the "motel" was a tire factory.
I love the good Lord's planning. So it was easy and convenient
to get the tire fixed and get some rest.
The next morning the guys at the tire factory changed the
tires and were perplexed by what they found. They found that
the inner tubes were at least three sizes too big for those tires,
that that had caused there to be creases in the inner tubes and
that there were 3 to 5 cracks in the creases big enough to slip a
50 cent piece through. He didn't understand why any mechanic
would put such large inner tubes in our tires,and he didn't
understand how we had managed to drive so far before having
any problems. If the tires had given out at any other time that
day at high speeds on rough roads the results could have been
tragic, or at least very inconvenient and difficult to deal with.
We thanked Jesus in amazement.
#5 DELIVERED FROM MORE OF MY DEADLY BAD DRIVING
Then there was Mexico's Yucatan jungle driving miracle of
1962. See the picture page.I was driving vehicle #3 and the
medic was driving #1 in the same direction. When we came to
this stretch of dirt highway under construction suddenly I
became confused and drove on into the dust of his bus #1. I
knew that what I had seen before the dust was a straight
stretch of three lane wide dirt road elevated about 6' above the
surrounding swamp. I did the dumb thing of deciding that I
should try to catch up to the bus in the dense dust and keep it
in sight. I was driving blind and getting more alarmed by the
moment. I didn't know for sure where I was on the road going
that fast (35 mph +).
(sorry the picture was lost when I changed this to text only)
Suddenly I see this large dirt moving diesel truck #2
directly in front of me headed right at me---- head on collision
imminent. Instinctively I turned hard to the right only to
realize that would send me and the kids into the swamp, so in
terror I made a hard left and slammed on the brakes because I
had no idea where I was on the road which I couldn't see
because of all the dust. My heart was racing and I was praying
hard trying to regain my composure so as not to alarm the kids.
My hands were sweaty and trembling as I waited for the dust
to clear. After what seemed to be forever, I could see our
predicament. I had parked perfectly parallel to the edge of the
dirt road with only 2" or 3" from my right side tires to the drop
off! I could not have parked that well even if I could have
seen the edge of the road! I can't park parallel that well even
today! And if I could have seen what I was doing, I would
never have parked so close to the edge of the road. So I figure
Jesus used my foolish, panicky and sweaty hands driving blind
to miss the truck and park perfectly with no damage to
vehicles and no injury to persons.
So I sat there waiting for my heart and breathing to slow
down, and began to realize I had another problem. This dirt
soft shoulder was so soft it even looked soft and I realized that
with the rear drive wheel on that soft shoulder just 2" from the
drop off, that soft shoulder could give way under the weight
and the van still fall into the swamp. Afraid to do anything on
the swamp side of the van, we all got out the driver's door.
The dirt truck #3 came back to see what happened to us and
the medic #1 came back to see what was the problem. They
agreed with the assessment of the problem and tied tow ropes
to the side of the van and the dirt truck so that when I drove
the van away from the edge, the van would not fall into the
swamp even if the soft shoulder gave way. This experience
gave the idea of "leaving the driving to Him" a whole new
meaning and made me learn the hard learned lesson to never
drive blind again.
#6. AN "ORPHAN" FINDS A LOVING HOME Then there is the
Felicia miracle. God didn't save my life but He used me to save
Felicia's life. She was a hippie run away from an Arizona foster
home. Her parents didn't want her. She ran away to LA and
she landed up at the Christian Communal Home that three
Christian "Hippies" got after they were born again in Jesus.
They wanted a place where they and their hippie friends who
were coming to Jesus could come, stay, be comfortable, meet
and grow in Jesus. It was a big house with about 8 bedrooms.
The police knew about this hippie half-way house and
approved of runaways like Felicia staying there. After about a
week or two, Felicia got mad about one of the rules of the
house, had a temper tantrum and stormed out of the House
during a Bible lesson with about 25 people present. She said
she was leaving and not coming back!
It was dark and it was an integrated neighborhood with a lot of
prostitution, drugs and violence. She was a small white hippie
girl walking out into the darkness and all of that Darkness. I
tried to decide what I should do since she wouldn't listen to
reason.
I figured either I could stick with her and keep on trying to
reason with her, but I was concerned that we'd both land up in
a situation where we would both be in danger. So I decided
the best place for her was the Christian Hippie House. So I ran
after her, tried one more time to persuade her to stay, but
when she refused I just picked her up and put her across my
shoulder with her screaming, hitting my back and trying to
kick loose of my arms all the way back to the House, through
the evening Bible Lesson and into the prayer room where the
House elders were having a meeting. I still don't know why
the neighbors didn't call the cops and how they were ab le to
continue that Bible lesson. I set her down in their midst and
told them what had happened. We talked and we prayed until
Felicia was passed her crisis and was willing to stay.
A couple of months later, a much more godly and spirit-
filled Felicia announced to us that she felt let to go back to
Arizona, end her run away status, turn herself in to her social
worker and trust God for the consequences. The few elders
who were present said they agreed with her and had peace
about it. A little later that Saturday evening she said she felt
she HAD to go that night and asked if I could drive her over to
Hollywood to catch the last Greyhound bound for Arizona that
night. I said sure, gathered some of the brothers and sisters to
see her off that night. We got to the bus stop shortly before
the bus arrived. She tried to buy the ticket but found she
didn't have enough money. We all chipped in everything we
had but we still didn't have enough money to get her to her
social worker. She felt she HAD to go on that bus at that time,
so we prayed and decided that she would buy a ticket to get
her into Arizona Sunday morning and then she would have just
enough change to call her social worker and have her pick her
up sometime later. We all prayed for and over her and our
sweet 16 year old little bare-foot hippie girl in a granny dress
with flowers in her hair got on the bus and left in a cloud of
prayers and tears.
Later we got her letter and "the rest of the story". She
arrived in a small Arizona town around 9am Sunday morning.
She had only enough money for the phone call and her social
worker didn't answer her phone. So she decided to walk
around town, bare foot in a granny dress with flowers in her
hair, that bright sunny Sunday morning. A little into her walk
she hear people singing and she thought she knew the song.
She came up to a small town steepled church and realized it
was church time and church was just beginning. So little Felicia
walked her little barefoot self into the back of that church with
some flowers in her hand and joined in the service.
After the service was over, the pastor asked her what she
was doing in town and where she was staying. Felicia told him
the whole story of parents not wanting her, running away from
foster home, living on the streets of L.A. and being born again
in a Christian Hippie House. The pastor and his wife asked her
if she would like to come home with them for lunch and until
her social worker could come. By the time lunch was over, the
pastor and his wife told Felicia they would love to have her as
their daughter and would she please let them be her parents.
She could hardly believe it, her social worker approved, they
adopted her and sent her through Bible college and she went in
to full time Christian service.
The little broken girl, unwanted by her parents and
foster parents, who ran away to find Love and Life, found Love,
Life and a home with parents who loved and cherished her
dearly. If I hadn't brought her back that night ----- if she
hadn't obeyed that leading to leave that Saturday night ---- if I
hadn't been able to drive her that night ------ if we had had
more or less money and she had landed up in a different town
----- if her social worker had answered her first phone call ----
--- but the miracle happened and the homeless, unloved,
grieved and lonely little girl found a home, Love, Joy and
family. What a wonderful miracle.
Some time later, Tirzah Lelah and Talitha Cumi were born.
#7. DELIVERANCE FROM MORE OF MY DEADLY BAD DRIVING
It was in the mid 1970's. The road out of Valley Center to
Escondido was just a two laner, one lane each way. I had had a
long had day at my job on Mt. Palomar at the La Jolla Indian
Reservation. I wanted to get home to my wife and kids. I had
just driven out of the flat area of Valley Center and was at the
top of the two lane two way descent to Escondido. There was a
big diesel milk truck with two full milk trailers followed by
three passenger cars and lastly myself. Real quick I realized
that the truck was using his gears to brake his speed down the
hill and he was going to be very slow going all the way down. I
couldn't figure why none of the other passenger cars passed
the truck since the oncoming lane was clear.
Full of stupidity and impatience I decided to pass all
three passenger cars as well as the milk trailers and diesel.
Just as I pulled out to make my pass, the car in front of me
pulled out in front of me to pass all the others. I had to swerve
hard to the left to avoid hitting that car. The last thing I saw
was the retaining 2' wall and the drop off about 6'-8' in front of
me closing very fast. I don't recall ever making any move to
avoid hitting the wall and going over the cliff. The next thing I
knew was that I was about 100 yards ahead of the diesel, milk
trailers and the three passenger cars which were still behind
the milk truck. I have no idea why I didn't hit the wall and go
over. I have no idea of how I got in front of the milk truck and
cars. I never cease to be amazed at how Jesus can drive my car
when I am asleep, have fainted or whatever. I am unable to
doubt this kind of Jesus who rescues even the stupid from their
own deep pudding. Doesn't it make you afraid to be on the
road with me? It does me! Thank God for God!
#8. TALITHA'S MIRACLE
We were having one of our many park experiences at an
Escondido park. Tirzah was four and Talitha was two. Bev
was pushing Tirzah on the swing and I was pushing Talitha.
Talitha and Tirzah both had their backs to us. Both were
laughing and carrying on. Talitha stopped laughing and
talking. I though she was just enjoying the swing, when
suddenly on one of the forward swings Talitha just tumbled
forward out of the swing, hit the ground on a roll, rolled on
down the bank, and started crying. She had fallen asleep in the
swing and fallen off. She could have broken her neck, had a
severe concussion, broken an arm or leg or both. We rushed
her to the hospital to see if she had a concussion. Talitha was
so hysterical we couldn't hold her still enough for them to get
an adequate X-ray. They expressed their
regrets and we took our hysterical Talitha home and did the
best we could. We noticed some changes after that fall, but we
were just so very thankful that she hadn't damaged her spinal
column or had a severe concussion. For us that was a miracle
because we couldn't forget the sight of her as she flew out of
the swing and rolled down the bank that sunny day in
Escondido. We couldn't forget how badly she might have been
hurt, how easily she could have broken her neck.
Philema Beth-shua Tyler was born a few years later.
#9. DELIVERANCE FROM MORE OF MY DEADLY BAD DRIVING
Then there is my Home Federal miracle. Perhaps this added to
the demise of Home Federal????? :) :) I worked three 12
hour graveyard shifts each week as a mail and message courier
driving company vehicles. It was my third shift and I used
everything to keep me awake (coffee, coca cola, hamburgers,
chocolate, etc.) to help me stay awake because I was so very
tired. It didn't work. One morning after my shift, I drove my
wife to work and then tried to drive my self and my three
daughters home. The sun was rising and was in my exhausted
eyes as I tried to drive us east to El Cajon from downtown San
Diego. The sun was too much for my exhausted eyes so I had
to stop at 70th/Lake Murry Dr. and sleep in Denny's parking lot
until I could drive the kids and I home. It was very hard for
them to understand but they watched over sleeping me for
almost two hours before they woke me up because they were
worried what the Denny's employee in the parking lot was
thinking (he was staring at us for so long).
It was 5:30 am and sunrise (the sun finished off my
eyes). I was driving the 1/2 ton pick up Toyota truck south on
163 going downtown with a full load of mail, tapes, microfiche,
print outs and reports for branches up the coast. I had just
cleared Hwy 8 heading south on 163. The next thing I
remember or knew was that the left front wheel and the left
rear wheel were on top of the elevated center divider and I
was somewhere on 163 under Washington or University or
Robinson. I can't believe what I see or where I am. The fence
on the elevated divider is angled so that you can't drive on the
divider. I'm going about 50+mph and the fence is closing on
me giving me the choice of hitting it at 50+ mph or driving off
of the divider at 50+mph with traffic all around me. I shout-
prayed JESUS!!! , held on to the wheel for dear life, and drove
off of the center divider before hitting the fence. The truck
rocked hard but miraculously amateur driver (not stunt driver)
me managed to maintain control and come out of the whole
incident with no damage to the truck, the contents or me. You
couldn't pay me enough to try that trick again awake driving
anything but a stunt car with big roll bars, safety gear and no
more than a quarter gallon of gas. Again I left the driving to
Him.
So Jesus saved your dad one more time so you could have a
dad to help you grow up good and strong like you are today.
And there are many more, but that will have to do. So
girls, the Lord and his angels have been pretty busy first to
make sure you were born to Ron and Bev, and then to let Ron
and Bev raise you. I thank God for you girls. You are the joy
and the crown of my life. I thank God for saving me so many
times so I could be your dad. I thank God for the honor of
having, raising and loving you three precious ladies. I hope
you girls will walk close enough to the Lord so you can see His
mighty miracle working power in your lives too. The closer
you walk with Him, the more miracles you'll. When you get to
fasting, meditation and praying, you get to the miracle
highway. I have all the proof I'll ever need to know how very
real Jesus is. I wish that for you too.
Love,
Your Dad.
P.S. My darling daughters, there was one,before you were born,
whose sacrifice and suffering was used to build into my
character those attributes that you love and hold dear, that
enabled me to cherish you far better than I could have without
the lessons learned from the tragedy, and that enabled me
to raise you under the enabling and shepherding the God who
is Unselfish and Compassionate Cherishing, The Truth, The
Life, The Light and The Way---Jesus. Here is how he raised
me from the dead, where I belonged.
�������������������������������
A DEDICATION: CAROL LYNN MCINTYRE
She is black and so many delicious shades of brown. Her skin
looks more delicious than anything I have ever eaten. She
moves gracefully with strength and purpose in her steps,
unaware of her awesome beauty. I call out her precious name,
almost to make sure she's real and not a dream. She turns and
looks me in the eye and then suddenly smiles so radiantly I
almost lose my breath. It seems as if she glows! I drink her in
as she flows towards me with her arms open wide. The face I
see is Love.
How I love her eyes and her mouth, filled with
kindness and gentleness----from which I fear no hurt or
unkindness. She laughs and it sounds like music. We
touch and my heart soars. We embrace and I put my lips on
her delicious skin. She is so delicious it is hard to keep my
mouth off of her. As the Sun shines on her clean, soft and
oiled skin I'm fascinated by the tiny tints of red, orange,
yellow and all the browns that twinkle up at me. She is
sooooo soft and firm, so full of life!
We look into each others' eyes, hers sparkling----we look long
and deep and our souls touch---and then suddenly it seems a
cloud of uncertainty, self-doubt, personal fears, or haunting
memories moves across her face and the lovely pools of her
eyes are troubled. I kiss her passionately and hold her ever so
close, wishing I could pull right into my heart and soul and
bathe her in my love, wanting to make it all right for her.
Hesitantly I look again hoping her radiance has returned and
Yes! the cloud has passed and her face is radiant again. What I
see in her face fills my heart. All is well. We two as one set
out together to face and deal with our world.
We faced our world together so much in love. I thought she
was so incredibly wonderful moving there before me bare and
beautiful that honeymoon night. I thought I had been given
the most wonderful queen for my heart to love. I worshipped
her in her dark beauty. How could I be so blessed? In ecstasy
she said she could make love all night long that Halloween
weekend. Halloween darkness and death covered my eyes
and blinded me. It polluted my mind and it whispered "You
are not good enough for her. She will find out that you aren't
good enough for her and she will leave you for another." The
hissing lie believed, my heart deceived, my soul backed off and
the work of death began. My queen now became my torment,
her excellence rebuking me for being so presumptuous
as to dare to mingle with the gods by loving one of their own.
My heart was chilled with fear that my wonderful goddess
would suddenly see me as I really was and her passionate
desire would turn to loathing. Couldn't she see I was all
crippled and broken inside?
The golden spell that had blessed our courtship was
cracking apart as some dark frozen glacier, one small piece at a
time. She said she loved me for my voice before we met.
When we met I was so amazed my mouth hung open in
amazement and my eyes couldn't open wide enough to behold
her glory. Her laughter rang like bells and chimes all about us.
She flowed to me and into my life. My heart opened wider
than my eyes and welcomed her in, pouring my love upon her
in every way I could imagine. She felt more loved than she
had ever felt before. She gave herself to me in our engagement
and our bodies merged into oneness as our souls had. I
accepted her love without reservation and gave her my love
without reservation. She blessed me in the same manner. I
felt my soul could fly no higher.
I forgot she was a mere mortal with a tender heart and a
history of adversities. I forgot that her heart was as tender as
her breasts. I forgot that though she was bold and out going
like her breasts, she was as sensitive as they and in need of
support and protection. Blinded by unreasoned love I thought
her to be a goddess and worshipped her, when she wanted me
to lead her in the worship of my Jesus. Blinded by unreasoned
love she thought me above weakness and fear. So when that
Halloween darkness crept into my soul, and in its brokenness
and open wounds the darkness found a hiding place, a place for
it to root and grow. By that honeymoon night my soul became
the prisoner of the fear of losing her love, fear of failing her,
fear of not being enough for and fear of losing her to another.
All she wanted me to do was just to keep on loving her as we
had since our engagement. I stepped from the glorious light of
our love into the wretched darkness of my fear. My darling
Carol Lynn couldn't believe that her prince charming was dying
within. She didn't feel the chill and darkness that had just
entered the room.
Fear leaves such devastation. In her torment she felt she was
to blame for the cold iceman that I was becoming. She sought
counsel, tried to provoke me, tried to make me jealous---each
resulting in a veil of tears for her. Then my tormented goddess
sought to kill herself if our love could not be restored. I asked
her parents to come and get her since I was afraid to leave her
alone----------they dragged her away from me as she wept
and wailed begging me not to let them take her. I just stood
there and watched. Oh God have mercy on my soul!
The damned darkness of damned divorce crept between us.
I begged her to return, begged for forgiveness and apologized
for failing her-------but when she didn't answer for a week I
sought the loving I yearned for in the arms of another
wonderful dark queen. I had given up. I thought she would
never come back to one so unworthy as I. I felt I had to have
the love of a wonderful dark queen so that I could know that I
was still lovable, that I could know the love of a wonderful
dark queen again. My Lynn came that night and found me
with the other. Her last words were "Oh no, Ron!!!!!!!! I never
had another chance with her.
Hollywood got her and messed her up so badly she had to have
a total hysterectomy and was in pain daily taking powerful
pain killers. She sought shelter and help in her childhood home
with her parents. She built her nest in her childhood bedroom,
her heart broken, her spirit twisted, her soul so gravely
wounded that no one knew if she could ever fly again-------my
Lynn who had soared in the heights with eagles and falcons.
Her pain. The pain wouldn't stop.
"Oh please make this pain stop! Let me take my pills. I have
eaten and I'll just take these pain pills and lie down to rest.
Oh! My soul is so weary! When will the pain stop? To sleep,
yes sleep. I'm so tired. I'll just sleep a little. It's so good to be
home where I can feel safe, with Dad here. I love him so
much." And my beloved Carol Lynn McIntyre laid herself
down to sleep in the bed of her childhood bedroom----so safe--
--safe at last.
"What's wrong! I can't think---I feel so groggy. What's
happening?! Oh God, I'm going to vomit! Help!----------"
And as she inhaled that last time-----My queen! My goddess!
My darling young wife-------------she inhaled her vomit and
died. Oh God! Dear God! Would that it were I! Oh turn back
the clock and take my soul instead! Oh God------my heart is
broken! Why should I be above the ground and my brilliant
and beautiful young Lynn, my dark queen, be there beneath
the ground? Oh God be merciful to me! I feel the millstone
around my neck. I don't deserve your forgiveness but I
would die without it.
Yet she lives and is loved in the deepest depths of my
soul though the grief and pain wont let me dwell on my
wonderful memories of her and us--- My Scotch-Irish-Welsh
heart grieves over my dark Queen. God gave me a daughter
who could pass for Lynn's sister, a wonderful woman, a
daughter upon whom I can pour out all the love I feel for Lynn.
And God showed me what I did wrong with Lynn and taught
me how not to make those terrible mistakes again. My three
wonderful daughters are the products of His Love working
through me. I lost my dark queen, and He gave me three
wonderful dark queens to help heal my grief. Thank you, Jesus!
Dear God, please heal the hearts of Lynn's family.
�������������������������������
EDUCATION - TEACHING - HUMAN RESOURCES
Classroom Instruction ... Training/Staff Development ...
Program Development ... Employee Relations
Customer/Community Relations ... Social Casework ... Client
Counseling/Training ...Mail Courier
Over 17 years experience in teaching and program
development working with youths (K-8) of all races and socio-
economic backgrounds, developmentally disabled adults and
teens in rehabilitation programs, and adult traffic violators
(Traffic Violator School) ... experience includes documenting,
evaluating, revising and reporting progress towards identified
goals ... reporting to governmental agencies and nonprofit
vendors ... a proven record of success in dealing with
disorderly and negative social settings and restoring them to
positive situations ... strong organizational and administrative
skills coupled with the ability to work calmly and decisively
under pressure .. excellent communication skills complemented
by the ability to motivate, train, and focus others� energies on
learning...seeking a position where training, organization, and
administrative skills can contribute to a company�s goals.
KEY STRENGTHS
� Hard working achiever - delivering results, not excuses
� Effective communicator and writer - motivating and
training others
� Resourceful problem solver - decisively calm under
pressure
� Working well with people - able to win confidence and
cooperation
� Precise thinker - detailed, organized, practical
EXAMPLES OF EFFECTIVENESS
� Organized a team teaching modular schedule for 4-6th
graders in a troubled school in a violent inner-city ghetto
school---involved winning respect of students and staff, being
sensitive to needs of teachers, parents and students, and
resolving conflicts in a quick and positive manner ... resulted in
a highly successful program which gained state-wide
recognition and the favor with administrators, teachers,
parents and students.
� As on-site supervisor and teacher for projects for
developmentally disabled adults, identified and implemented
all licensing and vendor requirements and procedures,
prepared Hallelujah Corp. for accreditation by CARF
(Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities) ...
resulted in the granting of proper licensing and accreditation
which ensured the continued growth and expansion of the
programs.
� Successfully intervened in a highly volatile Afro-
American 5th grade class situation where the teacher had lost
control ... resulted in making a major change in the mood of the
class within 30 days ... within five weeks the class had made
such a dramatic turn around that it no longer needed the
services of the District Counselor, and developed a real
bonding between students and teacher. These intervention
skills were instrumental in restoring order and program to the
Indian tutorial program after the former teacher had lost
control. Again these same intervention skills were
instrumental in turning around a predominantly Hispanic
(many commuted from Tijuana, Mex.) 2nd grade class which
was experiencing deep depression due to the mid-term loss of
their beloved and gifted teacher.
EDUCATION & CREDENTIALS
SAN DIEGO STATE UNIVERSITY - San Diego, CA
Bachelor of Arts (Soc. Anthro. & Spanish) with honors 1965
Teaching Credential = 30 units 1967
