TITLE: DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, & JESUS;
Another Look for Christians.
COPYRIGHT � JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved.
Copyright � 01/14/'95; 01/12/�96 (Revised)
CHAPTER II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES .
St. Augustine (4th Cent AD) had a powerful way of
stating the permanent nature of the marriage of two
who married after being born again, lovingly obedient
to Jesus and fruitful in the Spirit---
�To such a degree is that marriage compact
entered upon a matter of a certain sacrament, that it
is not made void even by separation itself, since, so
long as her husband lives, even by whom she hath
been left, she commits adultery, in case she be
married to another: and he who hath left her, is the
cause of this evil. . . Seeing that the compact of
marriage is not done away by divorce intervening; so
that they continue wedded persons one to another,
even after separation; and commit adultery with
those, with whom they shall be joined, even after
their own divorce, either the woman with a man, or
the man with a woman. . . But a marriage once for all
entered upon in the City of our god>14, where, even
from the first union of the two, the man and the
woman, marriage bears a certain sacramental
character, can no way be dissolved but by the death
of one of them. . . Therefore the good of marriage
throughout all nations and all men stands in the
occasion of begetting, and faith of chastity: but, so far
as pertains unto the People of God, also in the sanctity
of the sacrament, by reason of which it is unlawful for
one who leaves her husband, even when she has been
put away, to be married to another, so long as her
husband lives, no not even for the sake of bearing
children: . . . not even where that very thing,
wherefore it takes place, follows not, is the marriage
bond loosed, save by the death of the husband or
wife.�>15
[Footnotes:>14 This footnote mark etc. is not St.
Augustine's or Arthur Haddan's. I insert it just in
case the reader is not aware of the fact that all
marriages between real saints take place "in the City
of our god" not according to St. Augustine, but
according the the Holy Spirit in Hebrews 11:10,13-19,
where they are already seated with Christ in the
Heavenlies according to Eph. 1 & 2. >15 St.
Augustin: On The Trinity; pp. 402, 406, 412.]
In Matt. 5 Jesus made it plain divorce was permitted
for the hardness of human hearts and Malachi 2
makes it plain that God hates the treacherous
breaking of marital covenants that results in divorce.
In Matt. 5 Jesus permits the husband to divorce his
wife is she is guilty of fornication, but does not
command it. There is no command to divorce one's
mate for fornication, but after Acts 1 there is the
command to separate (not divorce) yourself from a
saved mate who is snared in sexual sin>16. Before
Acts 1 Jesus allowed divorce for the hardness of
hearts >17. The compassionate heart of the Spirit
filled Christian would respond to a mate's fornication
according to the Word>18. . The goal of such
compassion for one's mate snared in sexual sin would
be the goal of godly sorrow described in the
following:2 Cor. 7 and 1 Corinthians 5:5 . . . deliver
such an one unto Satan for the destruction [ruin ,
damage] of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved
in the day of the Lord Jesus.
[Footnotes:>16. 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 2 Thes. 3:6-14; 1 Tim.
6:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5; >17. Mat. 19:6-9; >18. 1
Corinth. 5:5-11; Matthew 18:15-18; Gal. 6:1; John 8: 1-
10; 1 Tim. 5:20,21; 2 Th. 3:6-14]
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 5 � 6 This punishment by
the majority [is] enough for such a one; 7 so that, on
the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort
[him], lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up
with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to
confirm [your] love toward him. 9 For to this end I
also wrote, that I might know the proof of you,
whether you are obedient in all things. 10 But to
whom you forgive anything, I also [forgive]. For if I
forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it] to him
in the person of Christ; 11 so that we should not be
overreached by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his
devices.
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you
in the letter, I do not regret; if indeed I did regret; for
I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I
rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you
grieved to repentance. For you were grieved
according to God, so that you might suffer loss by
nothing in us. 10 For the grief according to God works
repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the
grief of the world works out death. 11 For behold this
same thing (you being grieved according to God); how
much it worked out earnestness in you; but [also]
defense; but [also] indignation; but [also] fear; but
[also] desire; but [also] zeal; but [also] vengeance! In
everything you approved yourselves to be clear in the
matter. 12 � Then, though I wrote to you, [it was] not
on account of the one who did wrong, nor on account
of the one who suffered wrong, but for the sake of
revealing our earnestness on your behalf, for you
before God.
Even though Jesus apparently allows a genuinely
believing husband to divorce his wife snared in
adultery and then go ahead and remarry, I wouldn't
want to stand before the judgment seat of Christ and
tell the God of Love I divorced my wife for fornication
because of the hardness of my heart. The motivation
of a hardened heart doesn't square with Eph. 4 or I
Cor. 13 or Romans 15.
MKJV EPHES. 4: 15 But that you, speaking the truth in
love, may in all things grow up to Him who is the
Head, [even] Christ; . . 25 Therefore putting away
lying, let each man speak truth with his neighbor, for
we are members of one another. 26 Be angry, and do
not sin. Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath,
27 neither give place to the Devil. . . . 30 And do not
grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you are sealed
until [the] day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness
and wrath and anger and tumult and evil speaking be
put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind
to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.
1 CORINTH. 13: 4 � Compassionate cherishing has
patience, is kind; compassionate cherishing is not
envious, is not vain, is not puffed up; 5 does not
behave indecently, does not seek its own, is not easily
provoked, thinks no evil. 6 Charity does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, 7 quietly
covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. 8 � Compassionate cherishing
never fails.
MKJV ROMANS 15: 1 � Then we who are strong ought
to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please
ourselves. 2 Let every one of us please [his] neighbor
for [his] good, to building up. 3 For even Christ did
not please Himself; but as it is written, "The
reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me."
4 For whatever things were written before were
written for our learning, so that we through patience
and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. 5 �
And may the God of patience and consolation grant
you to be like minded toward one another according
to Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one mind [and] one
mouth you may glorify God, even the Father of our
Lord Jesus Christ. 7 � Therefore receive one another
as Christ also received us, to [the] glory of God.
Being forgiven by God for sins worthy of death (Rom.
1) how can we not forgive our mate if he/she falls in
adultery and then repents? How can we say anything
besides "Go on with your life and sin no more!">19 if
the Godly repentance described in the following is
evident? That's the example He left for us
(1Pet.2:20,21). There is no greater Love than to lay
down and deny your life/will for another's good.
[>19. John 8:1-10.]
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you
in the letter, I do not regret; if indeed I did regret; for
I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I
rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you
grieved to repentance. For you were grieved
according to God, so that you might suffer loss by
nothing in us.10 For the grief according to God works
repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the
grief of the world works out death. 11 For behold this
same thing (you being grieved according to God); how
much it worked out earnestness in you; but [also]
defense; but [also] indignation; but [also] fear; but
[also] desire; but [also] zeal; but [also] vengeance! In
everything you approved yourselves to be clear in the
matter.
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the
majority [is] enough for such a one; 7 so that, on the
contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him],
lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with
overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to confirm
[your] love toward him. 9 For to this end I also wrote,
that I might know the proof of you, whether you are
obedient in all things. 10 But to whom you forgive
anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for
your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of Christ;
11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for
we are not ignorant of his devices.
When I have approached Christian leaders here in my
area, most of them fall back on a rationalization of
scripture to defend or at least conform to the worldly
norms of separation/divorce/ remarriage in
contemporary society. So they accept divorces,
where those put together by God are put apart by
man, and remarry "believers" who have been
divorced or separated from "believers". They are
sincerely and earnestly concerned about stumbling
the weak and are reluctant to ask of the saints what
seems to the world's eyes to be impossible for many
saints, to accept the Word that genuine believers are
bound maritally as long as both live.
The particular case in point is the situation caused by
the plague of divorce among Christians. I understand
the following scriptures to indicate that genuine
believers in the Lord Jesus Christ who were free to
marry each other in the Lord and did marry each
other are bound maritally to each other as long as
both live -------
1 CORINTH. 7:10* � And to the married I command
(not I, but the Lord), a woman not to be separated
from [her] husband. 11* But if she is indeed
separated, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled
to [her] husband. And a husband is not to leave [his]
wife. 12 But to the rest I speak, not the Lord, If any
brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is
pleased to dwell with him, do not let him put her
away. 13 And the woman who has a husband who
does not believe, if he is pleased to dwell with her, do
not let her leave him. . . .15 But if the unbelieving one
separates, let [them] be separated. A brother or a
sister is not in bondage in such [cases], but God has
called us in peace. 39* � The wife is bound by the
law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is
dead, she is at liberty to be remarried to whom she
will, only in the Lord.
MKJV ROMANS 7: 2* For the married woman was
bound by law to the living husband. But if the
husband is dead, she is set free from the law of [her]
husband. 3* So then [if], while [her] husband lives,
she is married to another man, she shall be called an
adulteress. But if the husband dies, she is free from
the law, [so that] she is no adulteress by becoming
another man's wife.
MKJV MARK 10: 6 But from the beginning of the
creation God made them male and female. 7 For this
cause a man shall leave his father and mother and
shall cleave to his wife. 8 And the two of them shall
be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one
flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let
not man put apart. . . . 11 And He said to them,
Whoever shall put away his wife and marries another
commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman
shall put away her husband and marries to another,
she commits adultery.
I believe they state that a Spiritually reborn man and
a Spiritually reborn woman who are free to marry
each other in the Lord and do marry each other are
bound to each other by the Word of the Lord as long
as both their bodies are alive. What is the case in the
Bible?
Gen. 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and
his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they
shall be one flesh.>20. There are three acts described
here:
[Footnote>.(20. The Holy Scriptures According to the
Masoretic Text]
(1) From the following it is clear that it means leaving
the parents' presence, authority and control;
MKJV PSALM 45:10 � Listen, O daughter, and look;
and bow down your ear; and forget your own people
and your father's house. 11 And cause the King
greatly to desire your beauty, for He [is] your Lord,
and you shall worship Him. . . . 13 The king's daughter
[is] all glorious within; her clothing [is] trimmed with
gold. . . . 16 Your sons shall be in the place of your
fathers; you will make them princes in all the land. 17
I will make Your name to be remembered in all
generations; therefore the people shall praise You
forever and ever.
(2) Cleaving is the act of the will making marital
covenants and vows that bind them maritally before
God>21;
[Footnote:>21 Ezekisl 16:7,8; Malachi 2; Matt. 1:18-25
where Mary and Joseph are declared to be husband
and wife even before the actual wedding and
cohabitation. "Cleave" in the Hebrew means "cling or
adhere; . . . abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow
close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast),
overtake, pursue hard, stick, take." (Strong''s
Exhaustive Concordance.) J. Thayer's Greek-English
Lexicon says it means "to glue upon, glue to" ]
(3) Becoming one flesh is the sexual act of coitis or
sexual penetratio and one can become one flesh with
one's wife or with an adulteress or with a harlot>22.
Becoming one flesh is not what makes a relationship a
marriage. For the permanence of the relationship of
marriage the focus is on the word "cleave" which in
the Hebrew means "cling or adhere; . . . abide fast,
cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after), be
joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard,
stick, take.">23. Thayer says it means "to glue upon,
glue to">24. If God commands the husband to conduct
himself as if he were being joined together with her,
clinging, adhering, cleaving and glued to her in this
manner towards his wife, then he had better do it if
he wants a good future with God, because to disobey
would be death>25 . Being under this command would
certainly bind a man to his wife as long as both lived.
[Footnotes:>22 1 Cor. 6:13-20; >23. Strong''s
Exhaustive Concordance; >24. Greek English Lexicon
of the New Testament; Joseph Henry Thayer, D.D.;
American Book Co., New York, 1889;
>25 Rom. 6:23; 1:31,32; Malachi 2:14-17.]
The Jewish Septuagint (third century B.C.) for Gen.
2:24 uses the same word for "cleave" that Jesus uses
in Matt. 19:5. The word used for cleave in the LXX's
Gen. 2:24 and Jesus' Matt. 19:5 means the following: 1.
According to Thayer --- "to join one's self to closely,
cleave to, stick to"; and 2. According to Arndt &
Gingrich ---"adhere closely to, be faithfully devoted
to, join tini someone". The Greek tense in both is
future indicative passive which means that this is
what they shall have themselves doing in the future
on a regular basis. Some say that it is not a command.
Jesus seems to differ with them both in Malachi 2,
where He says the husband who breaks his marital
agreement with his wife is under His wrath, and in
Matt 19:6 where Jesus says "So then, they are no
longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has
joined together, man must not separate."
It is the marital commitments and covenants between
the husband and wife that is the glue that binds them,
and it is the solemn and disciplined honoring of those
commitments that reinforces and maintins that glued
bond that binds them.
Every legal>26 and moral>27 marriage of two who are
morally free in Christ to marry is ordained or allowed
by God and takes place under His control>b, so indeed
God has joined them, based on the truth of the
following:
[Footnote: >26 Legal= recognized and accepted as legal
by one's culture and law enforcers Rom. 13; 1 Pet.
2:13-17; >27 moral= free from all others maritally
and free in the Lord's kingdom to marry according to
His Word. >b Eph. 1:11; Rom. 8:28]
MKJV Romans 8: 27 And He searching the hearts
knows what [is] the mind of the Spirit, because He
makes intercession for the saints according to [the will
of] God. 28 And we know that all things work
together for good to those who love God, to those who
are called according to [His] purpose.
MKJV ROMANS 13: 1 � Let every soul be subject to
the higher authorities. For there is no authority but of
God; the authorities that exist are ordained by God. 2
So that the one resisting the authority resists the
ordinance of God . . .
MKJV Ephes. 1:10. . . to head up all things in Christ,
both the things in Heaven, and the things on earth,
[even] in Him, 11 in whom also we have been chosen
to an inheritance, being predestinated according to
the purpose of Him who works all things according to
the counsel of His own will, . . .
That's why we can trust God that we are to remain
married to the person we are married to when we are
saved. He gave Adam his Eve, and if you are His
child, He worked in you to want to marry your
mate>c, He lead you to marry your mate>d, and He
worked all things so that you did marry you mate>e.
So you can understand why 1 Cor. 7 speaks of the
binding nature of marriage.
[>c Phil. 2:12,13; Heb.13:20,21. >d Romans 8:9,14;
Acts 16:6,7; Isa. 30:21. >e Eph. 1:11; Rom. 8:28; Mt.
10:29; Prov. 16:1,9; Isa. 46:9-13; Neh. 9:6]
MKJV 1 CORINTHIANS 7:17 � But as God has
distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each
one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all churches.
18 [Was] any called having been circumcised? Do not
be uncircumcised. Was anyone called in
uncircumcision? Do not be circumcised. . . . 20 Let
each one remain in the calling in which he was called.
21 Were you called as a slave? It does not matter to
you, but if you are able to become free, use [it] rather.
. . 24 Each in whatever way he was called, brothers,
in this remain with God.
So Jesus makes binding>28 the cleaving >29 and the
one flesh experience that we know as marriage. Since
the only terms of divorce are given in Deut 24:1-4
(which were superseded by Matt. 19:1-15 and 1 Cor.
7:10-15,39), it is clear that marriage is a life long
relationship based on the covenants of the couple and
on God's command not to be put asunder or put
asunder the relationship. Rather than abide by this
believers-married-for-life principle, most Christian
churches/ pastors today are telling their divorced
and divorcing communicants that they should forget
the things that have happened in the past trusting
God's forgiveness to cover it all and press on into the
future with their new mates and lives.
[Footnotes:>28 (Mt. 19:6); >29 (Mt. 19:5) ]
They say it would do more harm than good to tell
Christian mates that they need to leave their new
mates, married in adultery, and new kids and go back
to the Christian mates they divorced contrary to the
Word>f. I believe that we are to live by every Word
of God, and not by unscriptural traditions of men that
put asunder what God said must not be put asunder,
that tell couples they are loosed from each other
when God says they are bound for life>30 . How dare
we say "You are loosed" when God Himself says she is
"bound as long as her husband lives"?
[Footnotes:>f in 1 Corinth. 7; Romans 7 and Mark 10
>30 (Matt. 19:5; Rom. 7:1-5; 1 Cor. 7:10,11,39)]
What are the responsibilities of still being bound to
someone when you have loosed yourself according to
human law but remain bound according to the Law of
Christ? Wouldn't they be responsible for parenting
both their children by the mates to whom they are
bound by the Lord, as well as their children by their
adulterous>31 new marriage. Wouldn't they be
responsible for keeping whatever promises they
made and can keep in the Lord--that they made to
their mates in the Lord and to their mates in
adultery>32 ? They can't keep their adulterous
promises of marital intimacy with their adulterous
mates, but they can keep the promise to Agap� Love
them, cherish them, honor and respect them, pray and
fast earnestly and fervently for them, and clothe and
feed them if they are destitute and in need. Jesus
instructs us to do these things even to our enemies>g.
There is no question that they are responsible for the
parenting, provision and care of any children by their
adultery, as God and man's law allow(Eph. 6; 1 Tim.
5:8; Heb. 12; 1Jn.3:16,17).
[Footnotes:>31. Mark 10:11,12; >32 (Psalm 15:4;
Ezek. 17:15;Eccles.5:1-7) >g Luke 6; Mt 5; Isa. 59; 1
tim. 2; James 2; 1 Peter 2,3,4]
I submit that the commandment of God in Romans
7:1-3 and the following passage below (binding the
saved husband to his saved wife until death separates
them) is laid aside to hold man�s tradition, making of
no effect the Word of God.:
MKJV MARK 10:6 But from the beginning of the
creation God made them male and female. 7 For this
cause a man shall leave his father and mother and
shall cleave to his wife. 8 And the two of them shall
be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one
flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let
not man put apart. . . . 11 And He said to them,
Whoever shall put away his wife and marries another
commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman
shall put away her husband and marries to another,
she commits adultery.
MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 The wife does not have
authority over [her] own body, but the husband. And
likewise also the husband does not have power [over
his] own body, but the wife. 5 Do not deprive one
another, unless [it is] with consent for a time, so that
you may [give yourselves to] fasting and prayer. And
come together again so that Satan does not tempt you
for your incontinence. . . . 7 For I would that all men
were even as I myself am. But each has his proper
gift from God, one according to this manner and
another according to that. 8 I say therefore to the
unmarried and the widows, It is good for them if they
remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-
control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than
to burn. 10* � And to the married I command (not I,
but the Lord), a woman not to be separated from [her]
husband. 11* But if she is indeed separated, let her
remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband.
And a husband is not to leave [his] wife. . . . 39* � The
wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives,
but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to be
remarried to whom she will, only in the Lord.
I submit that those passages mean exactly what they
say, that the obediently believing wife is bound by
law as long as her obediently believing husband lives.
No qualifiers! No exemptions! Instead many
Christian leaders tell the saved divorced that if they
just confess the sin of the divorce to God, God will
forgive them and they are no longer bound to their
departed saved mate so they can go on and remarry
someone new. So they set aside God�s command to
keep their own tradition. Can God bless and anoint
with His miraculous power a person, a couple or a
church sets aside His will and Word so they can keep
their own tradition? Not the Jesus I know.
Yes Jesus allowed the Jews under Moses to divorce
their mates (Mt. 5) but it was for the hardness of
their hearts and you can be sure that a just and holy
God chastened the hard of heart. If I were an insurer,
I sure wouldn't want to sell them any life insurance
(1Cor.10). He never commanded a genuine believer to
divorce a genuine believer. It just is not in the Word.
He never commands His child to divorce His other
child after He has put them together. But there is a
commanded separation or standing back or break in
fellowship that is required by Jesus when one's mate
is snared in the sins described below ----- not a
divorce, but some form of separation. Consider the
following about sinners (for those married to the
unsaved) and about "saints" snared in sin:
MATTHEW 5: 32* But I say to you that whoever shall
put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication,
causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall
marry her who is put away commits adultery.
Romans 16: 17. . . mark them who cause divisions
and causes of offense contrary to the doctrine which
you have learned, and avoid them.
1 Timothy 6:1-5 If any man. . . . consent not to . . . .
the Words of our Lord Jesus . . . withdraw yourself
from such.
2 Timothy 3:1-5: For men shall be lovers of their own
selves.........avoid such.
1 CORINTH. 5: 9 � I wrote to you in the letter not to
associate intimately with fornicators; 10 yet not
altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with
the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for
then you must go out of the world. 11 But now I have
written to you not to associate intimately, if any man
called a brother [and is] either a fornicator, or
covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or
an extortioner; with such a one not to eat.
2 THESSALONIANS 3:6 � Now we command you,
brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that
you withdraw yourselves from every brother who
walks disorderly, and not after the teaching which he
received from us. . . . 14 And if anyone does not obey
our word by this letter, mark that one and have no
company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet
do not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him as
a brother.
Yes there is an avoiding or withdrawing from such
spouses but we will see below how 1 Cor. 7:10-15
and Mark 10 etc. exclude the option of marital
separation or divorce except under very specific
conditions. He never said that they were no longer
bound to each other as Christian husband and
Christian wife according to the scriptures>33 . You
and I know that a married couple can avoid or
withdraw from each other in many ways without
getting a divorce. They withdraw emotionally or
socially. A saint can't join the sinning spouse in the
sin, so right there is a withdrawal or avoidance.
[Footnote: >33 (Matt. 19:5; Rom. 7:1-5; 1 Cor.
7:10,11,15,39)]
According to 1 Cor. 5 it is a whole different ball game
if the spouse is often doing, practicing, regularly or
habitually doing any of the following: adultery,
fornication, sexual perversion (sodomy,
homosexuality, bestiality, incest), greediness or
covetousness, the worship of false gods, reviling
(verbal abuse), drunkeness or intoxication, robbing,
swindling, and/or extorting. The saved spouse is
under command NOT to associate, keep company or be
intimate with a spouse who does the above and is
claiming to be genuinely saved, a genuine believer in
the Lord Jesus Christ, a born again child of God. This
may take the form of the husband divorcing such a
"believing" wife and remarrying (Matt: 19:9) or it may
take the form of the wife chastely and maritally
separating herself from such a "believing" spouse (1
Cor. 7:10,11). The reason for this difference in options
will be discussed in the chapter dealing with adultery
and its definition.
I believe the saved wife of an unsaved husband, who
is involved in the sins listed above in this section, has
the same chaste separation option, from the context of
1 Cor. 7:10-15. I understand this kind of separation
from such sinning mates involves the cessation of
sexual intimacy, until either the sinning spouse
repents as in 2 Cor 2 & 7 or the Lord takes the life of
the sinning spouse so as to save his spirit.
Let's take another look at this. What do you do about
your spouse who is snared in adultery, fornication,
lesbianism, sodomy, bestiality, incest or etc.? Consider
the following:
MKJV JOHN 8: 4 they said to Him, Teacher, this woman
was taken in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses in
the law commanded us that such should be stoned.
You, then, what do you say? . . . 7 But as they
continued to ask Him, He lifted Himself up and said to
them, He who is without sin among you, let him cast
the first stone at her. . . .
MATT.5:32* But I say to you that whoever shall
put away his wife, except for the cause of
fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And
whoever shall marry her who is put away
commits adultery.
9 And hearing, and being convicted by conscience,
they went out one by one, beginning at the oldest,
until the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the
woman standing in the midst. 10. . . Did not one give
judgment against you? 11 And she said, No one, Lord.
And Jesus said to her, Neither do I give judgment. Go,
and sin no more.
MKJV 1 CORINTH. 5: 1 � Everywhere [it is] reported
[that there is] fornication among you, and such
fornication as is not named among the nations, so as
one to have [his] father's wife. . . . 3 For as being
absent in body but present in spirit, I indeed have
judged already [as though I were] present
[concerning] him who worked out this thing; 4 in the
name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered
together, with my spirit; also, with the power of our
Lord Jesus Christ; 5 to deliver such a one to Satan for
the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be
saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. . . .
MATT. 5:32* But I say to you that whoever
shall put away his wife, except for the cause of
fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And
whoever shall marry her who is put away
commits adultery.
7 � Therefore purge out the old leaven so that you
may be a new lump, as you are unleavened. . . . 11
But now I have written to you not to associate
intimately, if any man called a brother [and is] either
a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or
a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one not to
eat. 12 . . . Do you not judge those who are inside? 13
. . Therefore put out from you the evil one.
These show that such a separation can be an exercise
in Church discipline, delivering the Christian
offender's body for the destruction of the flesh
(chastening) to the end that the erring saint should be
effectively chastened and stop sinning and in godly
sorrow repent of the fornication. The sinning saint is
chastened>34 into weakness, sickness or sleep (death)
by the Lord. If weakness or sickness results in godly
sorrow and repentance, then the repentant one is
restored as in the following:
[Footnote: >34 (1 Cor. 5 &/or 11; Heb.12)
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you
in the letter, I do not regret; if indeed I did regret; for
I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I
rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you
grieved to repentance. For you were grieved
according to God, so that you might suffer loss by
nothing in us.
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the
majority [is] enough for such a one; 7 so that, on the
contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him],
lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with
overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to confirm
[your] love toward him. . . 10 But to whom you forgive
anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for
your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of Christ;
11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for
we are not ignorant of his devices.
They would both still be saved and both still be
bound to each other maritaly no matter who else they
married or how many kids they might have had in
the meantime. There is nothing in scripture that
would indicate the the marital bond between two
genuine Christians is broken by sexual immorality. If
adultery required a marital-bond breaking
divorce/separation, then Matt 5:32 would read as
follows:
But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife
for any reason except sexual immorality causes her
to commit adultery; and whoever marries a
woman who is divorced for any other reason than
sexual immorality commits adultery.
This would imply that it would NOT be adultery to
marry a woman divorced/separated for sexual
immorality. But what did Jesus say to genuine
believers? He said "... whoever marries a woman who
is divorced commits adultery.">h He gives no
qualifier or exception except for 1 Cor. 7:12-15 in the
case of the believer divorced/ desserted by the
unsaved mate. No matter what the reason for the
divorce except 1 Cor. 7:15, including sexual
immorality, "whoever marries a divorced woman
commits adultery." "And if a woman divorces her
husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
(Mk.10:12). It is adultery to marry a woman divorced
from her legitimate husband except in the case of 1
Cor. 7:15, in which case God has loosed her from her
husband. It is adultery to marry a genuinely
believing woman divorced from her genuinely
believing man if they were free to marry in the Lord
when they married, because when they married they
became maritally bound to each other until death
parts them (1Cor. 7:39)
Later in this study we will deal with the issue of why
the Word does not say ".....whoever divorces her
husband, except for sexual immorality, and marries
another, commits adultery.......".
In the other cases presented in this chapter that
require a separation because of the misconduct of
one's mate, I believe the believing mate has to
avoid/withdraw from the erring spouse in such
activities and usually can do so without leaving their
house. We'll see below that the avoidance/
withdrawal does not include marital intimacy and
affection (1 Cor. 7:1-15). Dealing with the adulterous
mate is discussed below, so please be patient and read
on.
What should be the spouse's attitude be when
married to one to whom she/he is commanded to be
manifesting some form of avoidance or withdrawal?
The key is in 2 Thess 3:15 above where we enjoined
to "not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him
as a brother." or in 1 Pet. 3:1 where the wives are
instructed to "be submissive to your own husbands so
that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without
a word be won by the behavior of the wives . . . . ".
Consider the following:
Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother
wrongs you, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive
him.
Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a
fault, you who are spiritual restore such a one in the
Spirit of meekness . . .
John 13:10-15 . . . . you also ought to wash each
other's feet, for I have given you an example, that
you should do as I have done to you.
Ephes. 4:15 . . . speaking the Truth in Love . . . .
Ephes 5:6-11 . . . because of these things comes the
wrath of God upon the sons of disobedience.
Therefore don't be partakers with them. . . .And have
no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness
but, rather, reprove [them].
1 Tim. 5:20,21 Them that sin rebuke before all, that
others may fear. . 2 Tim. 2:24 And the servant of the
Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all, able to
teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that
oppose them . . . . .
1 Pet. 3:1 . . . be submissive to your own husbands so
that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without
a word be won by the behavior of the wives . . . .
The command is "Man must not put apart what God
has put together". Even if they are
divorced/separated, people "must not put apart what
God has put together." The genuine Christian wife is
maritally bound to her genuine Christian husband as
long as they both live>i .
[>h Mat.5:32; 19:9. >i (1Cor.7:39;Mark 10).]
There is a parallel in the relationship of the Body of
Christ to Christ. When a brother becomes part of the
Bride of Christ Jesus is bound by His own Word in the
relationship, not to put apart what God has put
together (John 17:2, 6, 9, 10, 20, 21).So when a
brother stumbles into fornication>35, instead of
cutting off the relationship and disowning him, Jesus
Loves him and has promised to chasten him in that
Love>36. There is a break in fellowship, a separation,
in that Jesus doesn't respond to his usual prayers>37
and releases his body to Satan for the destruction of
his body>38 in order to save his spirit>39. He still
belongs to Jesus because he shows that his spirit will
be saved even if the chastening doesn't result in
repentance>40. No one, neither himself nor Jesus, can
take him out of Jesus hand>41. So the brother is
chastened>42 and genuinely repents>43, resulting in
his restoration to good standing and fellowship in the
Bride of Christ and with Jesus.
[Footnote: >35. 1 Cor. 5; 2 Tim. 2:24,26. >36. 1
Cor.5; Hebrews 12. >37. Isaiah; Mat. 6:16; 1 Pet.
3:7; 1 Jn. 3:22,23. >38. 1 Cor. 5:5; 11:27-32; Heb.
12. >39. 1 Cor. 5:6; 11:27-32 >40. 1 Cor. 5:5;
11:27-32. >41. John 10:28,29. >42. 1 Cor. 5 & 2
Cor. 2. >43. 2 Cor. 2 and 7].
Another parallel is Jesus and the nation Israel. Israel
became the bride of Jehovah/Jesus>44. When Israel
misused their bodies/temple, Jehovah/Jesus allowed
their bodies to suffer>45. He didn't end His
relationship/promises with the nation Israel, even
though He allowed many of them to suffer/die and
allowed the temple to be destroyed. When Israel
repented genuinely, He restored His fellowship and
blessings to the genuinely repentant, even allowing
them to rebuild the temple for full fellowship>46.
Jehovah/Jesus' bond with the nation Israel was not
annulled and broken by their sin nor the chastening
He allowed>47.
[Footnote: >44. (Ex. 20; Ezek. 16:7; 23:1-6). >45.
1Cor. 10:9,10 >46. Ezra, Nehemiah. >47. Ezekiel
16 and 23; Hosea]
In American reality, because of the wretchedly poor
Bible teaching today Christians, divorce and remarry
almost as much as J.Q Public. The Christian wife
divorces her Christian husbandand remarries in
adultery reaping the chastening of the Lord until she
dies>48 or repents in reconciliation or celibacy if she
is genuinely born again. The Christian man divorces
his Christian wife and remarries. If he really
repudiates his Christian wife for another and marries
another he commits adultery>49 and reaps the Lord's
chastening. At this point we need to define our terms.
[Footnotes:>48. (1 Cor 5 and 11:29-32); >49
(Mark 10, Luke 16, Matt 5, 1 Cor 7)]
III. DIVORCE DEFINED.
Let me try to clarify the word "divorce" at this
point since it has so many definitions in our current
culture. The Greek word apoluo >1 used by Jesus in
Mark 10:11 & 12 means TO SEND OR PUT AWAY,
DISMISS (FROM ONE'S PRESENCE), RELEASE AND
REPUDIATE. It could be done informally or formally
and legally as divorce.
[Footnote: .>III.1 See also Matt. 1:19; 5:31; 19:3,7-9.]
The Greek word choridzo >2 , used in Mark 10:9 of
the saved couple and in 1 Cor. 7:10 &11 of the saved
wife , and in v. 15 of the unsaved mate, means TO
SEPARATE ONESELF FROM ANOTHER, BE SEPARATED;
LEAVE, PART OR DEPART FROM, PUT ASUNDER AND
DIVIDE. It could be done informally or formally as a
divorce. God allows the Christian wife to choridzo
her husband as second best but still affirms that she
is bound maritally to her husband as in v. 39.
[III. footnotes: >III.2. See also active: Matt. 19:6; Mark
10:9; Rom. 8;35,39;---passive: 1 Cor. 7:10,11,15;Acts
1:4; 18:2]
The Greek word afeeaymee >141, used of the man in l
Cor. 7:11 and 12 and of the woman in v. 13, means TO
SEND AWAY, ASK TO GO AWAY OR LEAVE, TO
RELEASE, AND TO LEAVE. This can be done informally
or as a formal divorce. So the word divorce can mean
many different things depending on one's culture,
society, motivation, intent and purposes. But the
bottom line is that the husband is commanded not to
send his wife away, nor to ask his wife to leave, nor
release her nor leave her. Even if she asks or
commands him to leave, He is under the Lord's
command not to leave. Even if she gets a court order,
he is under God's order not to leave her voluntarily.
If the marshals/officials remove him and his
belongings, then he didn't leave voluntarily. He was
removed, but he did not relase or leave her. Separate
rooms, sleeping separately or etc. is not leaving or
releasing her as long as he is obeying 1 Cor. 7:1-5
with her.l
[Footnote: .^141 See also Mat. 13:36;; Mark 4:36.]
In summary we see the following:
(1) the Christian husband must not
divorce/send away/release [See apoluo or afeeaymee
above] his Christian wife to whom he is bound as
long as they both live. 1 Cor. 5:10,11 and 2 Thess. 3:6
& 14 may require a separation that doesn't involve
sending her away, asking her to go away or leave,
releasing her from their marriage bond, or leaving
her ---- but they are still bound for life. I
experienced such a separation without leaving with
the mother of my children. The last two years we
were together we slept inthe same king size bed but
she never let me touch her, kiss her, hold her or make
love with her. Now that is separation without leaving.
But for the male under 1 Cor. 5:ll and 2 Thess. 3:6,14
commands to "stand apart" from his sining wife would
still be bound by the commands in 1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5
which could require him to be maritally intimate with
her, so the "separation" would have to be in other
areas ---- always in the Spirit of 2 Tim. 2:24-26;
Galat. 6:1,2,3; and Luke 6 ---- like not eating together,
not hanging out together, not dating, not socializing
together , not spending your leisure time together or
etc.
(2) the saved husband must not divorce/send
away/ask to leave/leave [See afeeaymee above] his
unsaved wife as long as she agrees or consents or is
willing to dwell/live /house with him.
(3) the Christian wife must not divorce/send
away/dismiss/repudiate[See apoluo above] and
should not (but may) divorce/separate
from/leave/put apart [See choridzo above] her
Christian husband. The saved wife must not
divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [See
afeeaymee above] her unsaved husband as long as
he agrees or consents or is willing to dwell/live/house
with her. Because of the definition and 1 Cor. 7:11
some believe that the saved wife also can
divorce/separate from/leave/put apart [choridzo]
her unsaved husband in faithful separation, but still
not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave
[afeeaymee] him, in the event of spousal abuse,
fornication or etc. These actions find many different
legal and informal forms and expressions in many
different cultures and subcultures. So when you see
the word �divorce� in your Bible, it at least means
�send away, release�, "leave" or �be separated, put
asunder, divide� informally or formally.
If Mark 10:8-12; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11,39 and Romans
7:1-3 are taken quite literally, a genuinely saved Elias
who legally married (with no vow of exclusivity such
as �forsaking all others� & �keeping yourselves only to
each other until death do you part�) and was legally
divorced by several genuinely saved Jane Does who
just wanted to live as singles again>142 would have to
deal with the question, "Are they still my wives in
God's eyes?". They all divorced him exercising their
scriptural option and whatever he felt or wanted
would be irrelevant in terms of 1 Cor. 7:11,39. What
if these genuinely saved but carnal Jane Does became
engaged to others and maritally vowed to forsake all
others including their Elias and to keep themselves
only to their new mates until death part them? It
would be adultery and their vows would be sinful
because those vows would be invalidated by God's
statement in Mark 10:8-12 and 1 Corinth. 7 :11,39
that they are bound to Elias as long as they both live.
[Footnote: >142 (1 Cor. 7:11) ]
But wait a minute! Wouldn't it be adultery for Elias to
remarry even if his Christian wife divorced him? I
mean wasn't he still bound to her even if she dumped
him and never saw him again, living single in
separation? Wouldn't Elias still be bound to his
departed and separated Christian wife (according to1
Corinthians 7:10,11,39) even though her departure for
other reasons than prayer and fasting leaves him
subject to Satan's temptations due to his not having
the gift of celibacy (1Cor.7:5)? Why is she allowed to
disobey 1 Cor. 7:5 by leaving him indefinitely (1 Cor.
7:10,11) for some other reason than prayer and
fasting? To find the answers to these questions, let's
take a look at what the Bible says about the
institution of marriage in its various forms and over
time.
