TITLE: DIVORCE, REMARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, & JESUS;
Another Look Marriage for Christians.
What about polygyny? What about polygamy?
COPYRIGHT � JANUARY 14, 1995 All rights reserved.
Copyright � 01/14/'95; 01/12/�96 (Revised)
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anyone so inclined.
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interested in.)
I. INTRODUCTION: PRIORITIES RECONSIDERED. P. 4
II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES. P. 8
III. DIVORCE DEFINED. P. 23
IV. VARIETIES OF MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE, OLD
AND NEW TESTAMENTS -- LET THE WORD SPEAK
ABOUT POLYGYNY AND CONCUBINES! P. 25
V. WHAT DO CHRISTIAN LEADERS SAY ABOUT
CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY? P. 50
VI. ADULTERY DEFINED: A SURPRISE! ISN�T
POLYGYNY ADULTERY? P. 66
VII. SO, WHAT ABOUT CONCUBINES & POLYGYNY
TODAY IN MY COUNTRY? P. 73
VIII. ARE POLYGYNISTS AND CONCUBINES LIVING IN
ERROR TODAY? P. 82
IX. MARRIAGE, CONCUBINES, CIVIL LAW, PERSONAL
LIBERTY AND A LOVING CONSCIENCE! P.
X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND
ADULTERY? P.
XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER & REMMARY
AFTER ADULTEROUS REMARRIAGE? P.
XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS
INVOLVED IN SUCH REUNIONS? P.
XIII. CAN ADULTERY, DIVORCE, VOWS AND REPENTANCE
RESULT IN POLYGYNY/CONCUBINAGE? P.
XIV. ADULTERY, DIVORCE, CONCUBINES, POLYGYNY
AND THE UNSAVED. P.
XV. THE MARRIED MAN WHO WOULD ADD WIVES/
CONCUBINES TO HIS "HAREM". P.
XVI. ARE POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES OPTIONS FOR THE
ABANDONED MAN? P.
XVII. POLYGYNISTS, CONCUBINES AND THE LEADERS
OF GOD'S PEOPLE. P.
XVIII. POLYGYNY & CONCUBINES AND THE WESTERN
CHRISTIAN WOMAN. P.
XIX. WHAT'S WRONG WITH POLYANDRY? P.
XX. HUSBAND RULE OVER THE WIFE? IF SERVANT-
TEACHERS RULE .P.
XXI. THREE CHEERS FOR MONOGAMY! THE BEST FOR
MOST! P. 141
XXII. LISTEN TO THE WORD! P.
XXIII. BIBLIOGRAPHY P. 147
APPENDIX ONE -- WHAT ABOUT INTERRACIAL AND
INTERETHNIC MARRIAGE? P.150
APPENDIX TWO -- WHAT DO YOU THINK? THE
FEEDING OF TWO LEGGED OXEN. P.157
APPENDIX THREE -- A WEDDING COVENANT FOR
NONSWEARERS - P. 159
APPENDIX FOUR -- WHAT MAKES A WEDDING/MARRIAGE? -
P. 161
APPENDIX FIVE -- MARRYING THE UNSAVED AND "SAINTS"
LIVING IN ERROR. - P.163
APPENDIX SIX -- WHEN DO I HAVE TO MARRY? - P. 167
APPENDIX SEVEN -- THE ERRR OF SWEARING, OF OATHS
AND SWEARING OATHS. -P.182
APPENDIX EIGHT--BLACK POLYGYNY RESOURCES
II. DIVORCE! A PLAGUE AND ITS CONSEQUENCES .
St. Augustine (4th Cent AD) had a powerful way of
stating the permanent nature of the marriage of two
who married after being born again, lovingly obedient
to Jesus and fruitful in the Spirit---
�To such a degree is that marriage compact
entered upon a matter of a certain sacrament, that it
is not made void even by separation itself, since, so
long as her husband lives, even by whom she hath
been left, she commits adultery, in case she be
married to another: and he who hath left her, is the
cause of this evil. . . Seeing that the compact of
marriage is not done away by divorce intervening; so
that they continue wedded persons one to another,
even after separation; and commit adultery with
those, with whom they shall be joined, even after
their own divorce, either the woman with a man, or
the man with a woman. . . But a marriage once for all
entered upon in the City of our god>14, where, even
from the first union of the two, the man and the
woman, marriage bears a certain sacramental
character, can no way be dissolved but by the death
of one of them. . . Therefore the good of marriage
throughout all nations and all men stands in the
occasion of begetting, and faith of chastity: but, so far
as pertains unto the People of God, also in the sanctity
of the sacrament, by reason of which it is unlawful for
one who leaves her husband, even when she has been
put away, to be married to another, so long as her
husband lives, no not even for the sake of bearing
children: . . . not even where that very thing,
wherefore it takes place, follows not, is the marriage
bond loosed, save by the death of the husband or
wife.�>15
[Footnotes:>14 This footnote mark etc. is not St.
Augustine's or Arthur Haddan's. I insert it just in
case the reader is not aware of the fact that all
marriages between real saints take place "in the City
of our god" not according to St. Augustine, but
according the the Holy Spirit in Hebrews 11:10,13-19,
where they are already seated with Christ in the
Heavenlies according to Eph. 1 & 2. >15 St.
Augustin: On The Trinity; pp. 402, 406, 412.]
In Matt. 5 Jesus made it plain divorce was permitted
for the hardness of human hearts and Malachi 2
makes it plain that God hates the treacherous
breaking of marital covenants that results in divorce.
In Matt. 5 Jesus permits the husband to divorce his
wife is she is guilty of fornication, but does not
command it. There is no command to divorce one's
mate for fornication, but after Acts 1 there is the
command to separate (not divorce) yourself from a
saved mate who is snared in sexual sin>16. Before
Acts 1 Jesus allowed divorce for the hardness of
hearts >17. The compassionate heart of the Spirit
filled Christian would respond to a mate's fornication
according to the Word>18. . The goal of such
compassion for one's mate snared in sexual sin would
be the goal of godly sorrow described in the
following:2 Cor. 7 and 1 Corinthians 5:5 . . . deliver
such an one unto Satan for the destruction [ruin ,
damage] of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved
in the day of the Lord Jesus.
[Footnotes:>16. 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 2 Thes. 3:6-14; 1 Tim.
6:1-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5; >17. Mat. 19:6-9; >18. 1
Corinth. 5:5-11; Matthew 18:15-18; Gal. 6:1; John 8: 1-
10; 1 Tim. 5:20,21; 2 Th. 3:6-14]
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 5 � 6 This punishment by
the majority [is] enough for such a one; 7 so that, on
the contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort
[him], lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up
with overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to
confirm [your] love toward him. 9 For to this end I
also wrote, that I might know the proof of you,
whether you are obedient in all things. 10 But to
whom you forgive anything, I also [forgive]. For if I
forgave anything, for your sakes I forgave [it] to him
in the person of Christ; 11 so that we should not be
overreached by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his
devices.
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you
in the letter, I do not regret; if indeed I did regret; for
I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I
rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you
grieved to repentance. For you were grieved
according to God, so that you might suffer loss by
nothing in us. 10 For the grief according to God works
repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the
grief of the world works out death. 11 For behold this
same thing (you being grieved according to God); how
much it worked out earnestness in you; but [also]
defense; but [also] indignation; but [also] fear; but
[also] desire; but [also] zeal; but [also] vengeance! In
everything you approved yourselves to be clear in the
matter. 12 � Then, though I wrote to you, [it was] not
on account of the one who did wrong, nor on account
of the one who suffered wrong, but for the sake of
revealing our earnestness on your behalf, for you
before God.
Even though Jesus apparently allows a genuinely
believing husband to divorce his wife snared in
adultery and then go ahead and remarry, I wouldn't
want to stand before the judgment seat of Christ and
tell the God of Love I divorced my wife for fornication
because of the hardness of my heart. The motivation
of a hardened heart doesn't square with Eph. 4 or I
Cor. 13 or Romans 15.
MKJV EPHES. 4: 15 But that you, speaking the truth in
love, may in all things grow up to Him who is the
Head, [even] Christ; . . 25 Therefore putting away
lying, let each man speak truth with his neighbor, for
we are members of one another. 26 Be angry, and do
not sin. Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath,
27 neither give place to the Devil. . . . 30 And do not
grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you are sealed
until [the] day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness
and wrath and anger and tumult and evil speaking be
put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind
to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.
1 CORINTH. 13: 4 � Compassionate cherishing has
patience, is kind; compassionate cherishing is not
envious, is not vain, is not puffed up; 5 does not
behave indecently, does not seek its own, is not easily
provoked, thinks no evil. 6 Charity does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, 7 quietly
covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. 8 � Compassionate cherishing
never fails.
MKJV ROMANS 15: 1 � Then we who are strong ought
to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please
ourselves. 2 Let every one of us please [his] neighbor
for [his] good, to building up. 3 For even Christ did
not please Himself; but as it is written, "The
reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me."
4 For whatever things were written before were
written for our learning, so that we through patience
and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. 5 �
And may the God of patience and consolation grant
you to be like minded toward one another according
to Christ Jesus, 6 so that with one mind [and] one
mouth you may glorify God, even the Father of our
Lord Jesus Christ. 7 � Therefore receive one another
as Christ also received us, to [the] glory of God.
Being forgiven by God for sins worthy of death (Rom.
1) how can we not forgive our mate if he/she falls in
adultery and then repents? How can we say anything
besides "Go on with your life and sin no more!">19 if
the Godly repentance described in the following is
evident? That's the example He left for us
(1Pet.2:20,21). There is no greater Love than to lay
down and deny your life/will for another's good.
[>19. John 8:1-10.]
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you
in the letter, I do not regret; if indeed I did regret; for
I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I
rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you
grieved to repentance. For you were grieved
according to God, so that you might suffer loss by
nothing in us.10 For the grief according to God works
repentance to salvation, not to be regretted, but the
grief of the world works out death. 11 For behold this
same thing (you being grieved according to God); how
much it worked out earnestness in you; but [also]
defense; but [also] indignation; but [also] fear; but
[also] desire; but [also] zeal; but [also] vengeance! In
everything you approved yourselves to be clear in the
matter.
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the
majority [is] enough for such a one; 7 so that, on the
contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him],
lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with
overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to confirm
[your] love toward him. 9 For to this end I also wrote,
that I might know the proof of you, whether you are
obedient in all things. 10 But to whom you forgive
anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for
your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of Christ;
11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for
we are not ignorant of his devices.
When I have approached Christian leaders here in my
area, most of them fall back on a rationalization of
scripture to defend or at least conform to the worldly
norms of separation/divorce/ remarriage in
contemporary society. So they accept divorces,
where those put together by God are put apart by
man, and remarry "believers" who have been
divorced or separated from "believers". They are
sincerely and earnestly concerned about stumbling
the weak and are reluctant to ask of the saints what
seems to the world's eyes to be impossible for many
saints, to accept the Word that genuine believers are
bound maritally as long as both live.
The particular case in point is the situation caused by
the plague of divorce among Christians. I understand
the following scriptures to indicate that genuine
believers in the Lord Jesus Christ who were free to
marry each other in the Lord and did marry each
other are bound maritally to each other as long as
both live -------
1 CORINTH. 7:10* � And to the married I command
(not I, but the Lord), a woman not to be separated
from [her] husband. 11* But if she is indeed
separated, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled
to [her] husband. And a husband is not to leave [his]
wife. 12 But to the rest I speak, not the Lord, If any
brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is
pleased to dwell with him, do not let him put her
away. 13 And the woman who has a husband who
does not believe, if he is pleased to dwell with her, do
not let her leave him. . . .15 But if the unbelieving one
separates, let [them] be separated. A brother or a
sister is not in bondage in such [cases], but God has
called us in peace. 39* � The wife is bound by the
law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband is
dead, she is at liberty to be remarried to whom she
will, only in the Lord.
MKJV ROMANS 7: 2* For the married woman was
bound by law to the living husband. But if the
husband is dead, she is set free from the law of [her]
husband. 3* So then [if], while [her] husband lives,
she is married to another man, she shall be called an
adulteress. But if the husband dies, she is free from
the law, [so that] she is no adulteress by becoming
another man's wife.
MKJV MARK 10: 6 But from the beginning of the
creation God made them male and female. 7 For this
cause a man shall leave his father and mother and
shall cleave to his wife. 8 And the two of them shall
be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one
flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let
not man put apart. . . . 11 And He said to them,
Whoever shall put away his wife and marries another
commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman
shall put away her husband and marries to another,
she commits adultery.
I believe they state that a Spiritually reborn man and
a Spiritually reborn woman who are free to marry
each other in the Lord and do marry each other are
bound to each other by the Word of the Lord as long
as both their bodies are alive. What is the case in the
Bible?
Gen. 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and
his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they
shall be one flesh.>20. There are three acts described
here:
[Footnote>.(20. The Holy Scriptures According to the
Masoretic Text]
(1) From the following it is clear that it means leaving
the parents' presence, authority and control;
MKJV PSALM 45:10 � Listen, O daughter, and look;
and bow down your ear; and forget your own people
and your father's house. 11 And cause the King
greatly to desire your beauty, for He [is] your Lord,
and you shall worship Him. . . . 13 The king's daughter
[is] all glorious within; her clothing [is] trimmed with
gold. . . . 16 Your sons shall be in the place of your
fathers; you will make them princes in all the land. 17
I will make Your name to be remembered in all
generations; therefore the people shall praise You
forever and ever.
(2) Cleaving is the act of the will making marital
covenants and vows that bind them maritally before
God>21;
[Footnote:>21 Ezekisl 16:7,8; Malachi 2; Matt. 1:18-25
where Mary and Joseph are declared to be husband
and wife even before the actual wedding and
cohabitation. "Cleave" in the Hebrew means "cling or
adhere; . . . abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow
close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast),
overtake, pursue hard, stick, take." (Strong''s
Exhaustive Concordance.) J. Thayer's Greek-English
Lexicon says it means "to glue upon, glue to" ]
(3) Becoming one flesh is the sexual act of coitis or
sexual penetratio and one can become one flesh with
one's wife or with an adulteress or with a harlot>22.
Becoming one flesh is not what makes a relationship a
marriage. For the permanence of the relationship of
marriage the focus is on the word "cleave" which in
the Hebrew means "cling or adhere; . . . abide fast,
cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after), be
joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard,
stick, take.">23. Thayer says it means "to glue upon,
glue to">24. If God commands the husband to conduct
himself as if he were being joined together with her,
clinging, adhering, cleaving and glued to her in this
manner towards his wife, then he had better do it if
he wants a good future with God, because to disobey
would be death>25 . Being under this command would
certainly bind a man to his wife as long as both lived.
[Footnotes:>22 1 Cor. 6:13-20; >23. Strong''s
Exhaustive Concordance; >24. Greek English Lexicon
of the New Testament; Joseph Henry Thayer, D.D.;
American Book Co., New York, 1889;
>25 Rom. 6:23; 1:31,32; Malachi 2:14-17.]
The Jewish Septuagint (third century B.C.) for Gen.
2:24 uses the same word for "cleave" that Jesus uses
in Matt. 19:5. The word used for cleave in the LXX's
Gen. 2:24 and Jesus' Matt. 19:5 means the following: 1.
According to Thayer --- "to join one's self to closely,
cleave to, stick to"; and 2. According to Arndt &
Gingrich ---"adhere closely to, be faithfully devoted
to, join tini someone". The Greek tense in both is
future indicative passive which means that this is
what they shall have themselves doing in the future
on a regular basis. Some say that it is not a command.
Jesus seems to differ with them both in Malachi 2,
where He says the husband who breaks his marital
agreement with his wife is under His wrath, and in
Matt 19:6 where Jesus says "So then, they are no
longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has
joined together, man must not separate."
It is the marital commitments and covenants between
the husband and wife that is the glue that binds them,
and it is the solemn and disciplined honoring of those
commitments that reinforces and maintins that glued
bond that binds them.
Every legal>26 and moral>27 marriage of two who are
morally free in Christ to marry is ordained or allowed
by God and takes place under His control>b, so indeed
God has joined them, based on the truth of the
following:
[Footnote: >26 Legal= recognized and accepted as legal
by one's culture and law enforcers Rom. 13; 1 Pet.
2:13-17; >27 moral= free from all others maritally
and free in the Lord's kingdom to marry according to
His Word. >b Eph. 1:11; Rom. 8:28]
MKJV Romans 8: 27 And He searching the hearts
knows what [is] the mind of the Spirit, because He
makes intercession for the saints according to [the will
of] God. 28 And we know that all things work
together for good to those who love God, to those who
are called according to [His] purpose.
MKJV ROMANS 13: 1 � Let every soul be subject to
the higher authorities. For there is no authority but of
God; the authorities that exist are ordained by God. 2
So that the one resisting the authority resists the
ordinance of God . . .
MKJV Ephes. 1:10. . . to head up all things in Christ,
both the things in Heaven, and the things on earth,
[even] in Him, 11 in whom also we have been chosen
to an inheritance, being predestinated according to
the purpose of Him who works all things according to
the counsel of His own will, . . .
That's why we can trust God that we are to remain
married to the person we are married to when we are
saved. He gave Adam his Eve, and if you are His
child, He worked in you to want to marry your
mate>c, He lead you to marry your mate>d, and He
worked all things so that you did marry you mate>e.
So you can understand why 1 Cor. 7 speaks of the
binding nature of marriage.
[>c Phil. 2:12,13; Heb.13:20,21. >d Romans 8:9,14;
Acts 16:6,7; Isa. 30:21. >e Eph. 1:11; Rom. 8:28; Mt.
10:29; Prov. 16:1,9; Isa. 46:9-13; Neh. 9:6]
MKJV 1 CORINTHIANS 7:17 � But as God has
distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each
one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all churches.
18 [Was] any called having been circumcised? Do not
be uncircumcised. Was anyone called in
uncircumcision? Do not be circumcised. . . . 20 Let
each one remain in the calling in which he was called.
21 Were you called as a slave? It does not matter to
you, but if you are able to become free, use [it] rather.
. . 24 Each in whatever way he was called, brothers,
in this remain with God.
So Jesus makes binding>28 the cleaving >29 and the
one flesh experience that we know as marriage. Since
the only terms of divorce are given in Deut 24:1-4
(which were superseded by Matt. 19:1-15 and 1 Cor.
7:10-15,39), it is clear that marriage is a life long
relationship based on the covenants of the couple and
on God's command not to be put asunder or put
asunder the relationship. Rather than abide by this
believers-married-for-life principle, most Christian
churches/ pastors today are telling their divorced
and divorcing communicants that they should forget
the things that have happened in the past trusting
God's forgiveness to cover it all and press on into the
future with their new mates and lives.
[Footnotes:>28 (Mt. 19:6); >29 (Mt. 19:5) ]
They say it would do more harm than good to tell
Christian mates that they need to leave their new
mates, married in adultery, and new kids and go back
to the Christian mates they divorced contrary to the
Word>f. I believe that we are to live by every Word
of God, and not by unscriptural traditions of men that
put asunder what God said must not be put asunder,
that tell couples they are loosed from each other
when God says they are bound for life>30 . How dare
we say "You are loosed" when God Himself says she is
"bound as long as her husband lives"?
[Footnotes:>f in 1 Corinth. 7; Romans 7 and Mark 10
>30 (Matt. 19:5; Rom. 7:1-5; 1 Cor. 7:10,11,39)]
What are the responsibilities of still being bound to
someone when you have loosed yourself according to
human law but remain bound according to the Law of
Christ? Wouldn't they be responsible for parenting
both their children by the mates to whom they are
bound by the Lord, as well as their children by their
adulterous>31 new marriage. Wouldn't they be
responsible for keeping whatever promises they
made and can keep in the Lord--that they made to
their mates in the Lord and to their mates in
adultery>32 ? They can't keep their adulterous
promises of marital intimacy with their adulterous
mates, but they can keep the promise to Agap� Love
them, cherish them, honor and respect them, pray and
fast earnestly and fervently for them, and clothe and
feed them if they are destitute and in need. Jesus
instructs us to do these things even to our enemies>g.
There is no question that they are responsible for the
parenting, provision and care of any children by their
adultery, as God and man's law allow(Eph. 6; 1 Tim.
5:8; Heb. 12; 1Jn.3:16,17).
[Footnotes:>31. Mark 10:11,12; >32 (Psalm 15:4;
Ezek. 17:15;Eccles.5:1-7) >g Luke 6; Mt 5; Isa. 59; 1
tim. 2; James 2; 1 Peter 2,3,4]
I submit that the commandment of God in Romans
7:1-3 and the following passage below (binding the
saved husband to his saved wife until death separates
them) is laid aside to hold man�s tradition, making of
no effect the Word of God.:
MKJV MARK 10:6 But from the beginning of the
creation God made them male and female. 7 For this
cause a man shall leave his father and mother and
shall cleave to his wife. 8 And the two of them shall
be one flesh. So then they are no longer two, but one
flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let
not man put apart. . . . 11 And He said to them,
Whoever shall put away his wife and marries another
commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman
shall put away her husband and marries to another,
she commits adultery.
MKJV 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 The wife does not have
authority over [her] own body, but the husband. And
likewise also the husband does not have power [over
his] own body, but the wife. 5 Do not deprive one
another, unless [it is] with consent for a time, so that
you may [give yourselves to] fasting and prayer. And
come together again so that Satan does not tempt you
for your incontinence. . . . 7 For I would that all men
were even as I myself am. But each has his proper
gift from God, one according to this manner and
another according to that. 8 I say therefore to the
unmarried and the widows, It is good for them if they
remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-
control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than
to burn. 10* � And to the married I command (not I,
but the Lord), a woman not to be separated from [her]
husband. 11* But if she is indeed separated, let her
remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband.
And a husband is not to leave [his] wife. . . . 39* � The
wife is bound by the law as long as her husband lives,
but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to be
remarried to whom she will, only in the Lord.
I submit that those passages mean exactly what they
say, that the obediently believing wife is bound by
law as long as her obediently believing husband lives.
No qualifiers! No exemptions! Instead many
Christian leaders tell the saved divorced that if they
just confess the sin of the divorce to God, God will
forgive them and they are no longer bound to their
departed saved mate so they can go on and remarry
someone new. So they set aside God�s command to
keep their own tradition. Can God bless and anoint
with His miraculous power a person, a couple or a
church sets aside His will and Word so they can keep
their own tradition? Not the Jesus I know.
Yes Jesus allowed the Jews under Moses to divorce
their mates (Mt. 5) but it was for the hardness of
their hearts and you can be sure that a just and holy
God chastened the hard of heart. If I were an insurer,
I sure wouldn't want to sell them any life insurance
(1Cor.10). He never commanded a genuine believer to
divorce a genuine believer. It just is not in the Word.
He never commands His child to divorce His other
child after He has put them together. But there is a
commanded separation or standing back or break in
fellowship that is required by Jesus when one's mate
is snared in the sins described below ----- not a
divorce, but some form of separation. Consider the
following about sinners (for those married to the
unsaved) and about "saints" snared in sin:
MATTHEW 5: 32* But I say to you that whoever shall
put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication,
causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall
marry her who is put away commits adultery.
Romans 16: 17. . . mark them who cause divisions
and causes of offense contrary to the doctrine which
you have learned, and avoid them.
1 Timothy 6:1-5 If any man. . . . consent not to . . . .
the Words of our Lord Jesus . . . withdraw yourself
from such.
2 Timothy 3:1-5: For men shall be lovers of their own
selves.........avoid such.
1 CORINTH. 5: 9 � I wrote to you in the letter not to
associate intimately with fornicators; 10 yet not
altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with
the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for
then you must go out of the world. 11 But now I have
written to you not to associate intimately, if any man
called a brother [and is] either a fornicator, or
covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or
an extortioner; with such a one not to eat.
2 THESSALONIANS 3:6 � Now we command you,
brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that
you withdraw yourselves from every brother who
walks disorderly, and not after the teaching which he
received from us. . . . 14 And if anyone does not obey
our word by this letter, mark that one and have no
company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet
do not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him as
a brother.
Yes there is an avoiding or withdrawing from such
spouses but we will see below how 1 Cor. 7:10-15
and Mark 10 etc. exclude the option of marital
separation or divorce except under very specific
conditions. He never said that they were no longer
bound to each other as Christian husband and
Christian wife according to the scriptures>33 . You
and I know that a married couple can avoid or
withdraw from each other in many ways without
getting a divorce. They withdraw emotionally or
socially. A saint can't join the sinning spouse in the
sin, so right there is a withdrawal or avoidance.
[Footnote: >33 (Matt. 19:5; Rom. 7:1-5; 1 Cor.
7:10,11,15,39)]
According to 1 Cor. 5 it is a whole different ball game
if the spouse is often doing, practicing, regularly or
habitually doing any of the following: adultery,
fornication, sexual perversion (sodomy,
homosexuality, bestiality, incest), greediness or
covetousness, the worship of false gods, reviling
(verbal abuse), drunkeness or intoxication, robbing,
swindling, and/or extorting. The saved spouse is
under command NOT to associate, keep company or be
intimate with a spouse who does the above and is
claiming to be genuinely saved, a genuine believer in
the Lord Jesus Christ, a born again child of God. This
may take the form of the husband divorcing such a
"believing" wife and remarrying (Matt: 19:9) or it may
take the form of the wife chastely and maritally
separating herself from such a "believing" spouse (1
Cor. 7:10,11). The reason for this difference in options
will be discussed in the chapter dealing with adultery
and its definition.
I believe the saved wife of an unsaved husband, who
is involved in the sins listed above in this section, has
the same chaste separation option, from the context of
1 Cor. 7:10-15. I understand this kind of separation
from such sinning mates involves the cessation of
sexual intimacy, until either the sinning spouse
repents as in 2 Cor 2 & 7 or the Lord takes the life of
the sinning spouse so as to save his spirit.
Let's take another look at this. What do you do about
your spouse who is snared in adultery, fornication,
lesbianism, sodomy, bestiality, incest or etc.? Consider
the following:
MKJV JOHN 8: 4 they said to Him, Teacher, this woman
was taken in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses in
the law commanded us that such should be stoned.
You, then, what do you say? . . . 7 But as they
continued to ask Him, He lifted Himself up and said to
them, He who is without sin among you, let him cast
the first stone at her. . . .
MATT.5:32* But I say to you that whoever shall
put away his wife, except for the cause of
fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And
whoever shall marry her who is put away
commits adultery.
9 And hearing, and being convicted by conscience,
they went out one by one, beginning at the oldest,
until the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the
woman standing in the midst. 10. . . Did not one give
judgment against you? 11 And she said, No one, Lord.
And Jesus said to her, Neither do I give judgment. Go,
and sin no more.
MKJV 1 CORINTH. 5: 1 � Everywhere [it is] reported
[that there is] fornication among you, and such
fornication as is not named among the nations, so as
one to have [his] father's wife. . . . 3 For as being
absent in body but present in spirit, I indeed have
judged already [as though I were] present
[concerning] him who worked out this thing; 4 in the
name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered
together, with my spirit; also, with the power of our
Lord Jesus Christ; 5 to deliver such a one to Satan for
the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be
saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. . . .
MATT. 5:32* But I say to you that whoever
shall put away his wife, except for the cause of
fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And
whoever shall marry her who is put away
commits adultery.
7 � Therefore purge out the old leaven so that you
may be a new lump, as you are unleavened. . . . 11
But now I have written to you not to associate
intimately, if any man called a brother [and is] either
a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or
a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one not to
eat. 12 . . . Do you not judge those who are inside? 13
. . Therefore put out from you the evil one.
These show that such a separation can be an exercise
in Church discipline, delivering the Christian
offender's body for the destruction of the flesh
(chastening) to the end that the erring saint should be
effectively chastened and stop sinning and in godly
sorrow repent of the fornication. The sinning saint is
chastened>34 into weakness, sickness or sleep (death)
by the Lord. If weakness or sickness results in godly
sorrow and repentance, then the repentant one is
restored as in the following:
[Footnote: >34 (1 Cor. 5 &/or 11; Heb.12)
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 7: 8 For even if I grieved you
in the letter, I do not regret; if indeed I did regret; for
I see that that letter grieved you for an hour. 9 Now I
rejoice, not that you were grieved, but that you
grieved to repentance. For you were grieved
according to God, so that you might suffer loss by
nothing in us.
MKJV 2 CORINTHIANS 2: 6 This punishment by the
majority [is] enough for such a one; 7 so that, on the
contrary, you should rather forgive and comfort [him],
lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with
overwhelming sorrow. 8 So I beseech you to confirm
[your] love toward him. . . 10 But to whom you forgive
anything, I also [forgive]. For if I forgave anything, for
your sakes I forgave [it] to him in the person of Christ;
11 so that we should not be overreached by Satan, for
we are not ignorant of his devices.
They would both still be saved and both still be
bound to each other maritaly no matter who else they
married or how many kids they might have had in
the meantime. There is nothing in scripture that
would indicate the the marital bond between two
genuine Christians is broken by sexual immorality. If
adultery required a marital-bond breaking
divorce/separation, then Matt 5:32 would read as
follows:
But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife
for any reason except sexual immorality causes her
to commit adultery; and whoever marries a
woman who is divorced for any other reason than
sexual immorality commits adultery.
This would imply that it would NOT be adultery to
marry a woman divorced/separated for sexual
immorality. But what did Jesus say to genuine
believers? He said "... whoever marries a woman who
is divorced commits adultery.">h He gives no
qualifier or exception except for 1 Cor. 7:12-15 in the
case of the believer divorced/ desserted by the
unsaved mate. No matter what the reason for the
divorce except 1 Cor. 7:15, including sexual
immorality, "whoever marries a divorced woman
commits adultery." "And if a woman divorces her
husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
(Mk.10:12). It is adultery to marry a woman divorced
from her legitimate husband except in the case of 1
Cor. 7:15, in which case God has loosed her from her
husband. It is adultery to marry a genuinely
believing woman divorced from her genuinely
believing man if they were free to marry in the Lord
when they married, because when they married they
became maritally bound to each other until death
parts them (1Cor. 7:39)
Later in this study we will deal with the issue of why
the Word does not say ".....whoever divorces her
husband, except for sexual immorality, and marries
another, commits adultery.......".
In the other cases presented in this chapter that
require a separation because of the misconduct of
one's mate, I believe the believing mate has to
avoid/withdraw from the erring spouse in such
activities and usually can do so without leaving their
house. We'll see below that the avoidance/
withdrawal does not include marital intimacy and
affection (1 Cor. 7:1-15). Dealing with the adulterous
mate is discussed below, so please be patient and read
on.
What should be the spouse's attitude be when
married to one to whom she/he is commanded to be
manifesting some form of avoidance or withdrawal?
The key is in 2 Thess 3:15 above where we enjoined
to "not count [him] as an enemy, but admonish him
as a brother." or in 1 Pet. 3:1 where the wives are
instructed to "be submissive to your own husbands so
that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without
a word be won by the behavior of the wives . . . . ".
Consider the following:
Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother
wrongs you, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive
him.
Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a
fault, you who are spiritual restore such a one in the
Spirit of meekness . . .
John 13:10-15 . . . . you also ought to wash each
other's feet, for I have given you an example, that
you should do as I have done to you.
Ephes. 4:15 . . . speaking the Truth in Love . . . .
Ephes 5:6-11 . . . because of these things comes the
wrath of God upon the sons of disobedience.
Therefore don't be partakers with them. . . .And have
no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness
but, rather, reprove [them].
1 Tim. 5:20,21 Them that sin rebuke before all, that
others may fear. . 2 Tim. 2:24 And the servant of the
Lord must not strive, but be gentle unto all, able to
teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that
oppose them . . . . .
1 Pet. 3:1 . . . be submissive to your own husbands so
that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without
a word be won by the behavior of the wives . . . .
The command is "Man must not put apart what God
has put together". Even if they are
divorced/separated, people "must not put apart what
God has put together." The genuine Christian wife is
maritally bound to her genuine Christian husband as
long as they both live>i .
[>h Mat.5:32; 19:9. >i (1Cor.7:39;Mark 10).]
There is a parallel in the relationship of the Body of
Christ to Christ. When a brother becomes part of the
Bride of Christ Jesus is bound by His own Word in the
relationship, not to put apart what God has put
together (John 17:2, 6, 9, 10, 20, 21).So when a
brother stumbles into fornication>35, instead of
cutting off the relationship and disowning him, Jesus
Loves him and has promised to chasten him in that
Love>36. There is a break in fellowship, a separation,
in that Jesus doesn't respond to his usual prayers>37
and releases his body to Satan for the destruction of
his body>38 in order to save his spirit>39. He still
belongs to Jesus because he shows that his spirit will
be saved even if the chastening doesn't result in
repentance>40. No one, neither himself nor Jesus, can
take him out of Jesus hand>41. So the brother is
chastened>42 and genuinely repents>43, resulting in
his restoration to good standing and fellowship in the
Bride of Christ and with Jesus.
[Footnote: >35. 1 Cor. 5; 2 Tim. 2:24,26. >36. 1
Cor.5; Hebrews 12. >37. Isaiah; Mat. 6:16; 1 Pet.
3:7; 1 Jn. 3:22,23. >38. 1 Cor. 5:5; 11:27-32; Heb.
12. >39. 1 Cor. 5:6; 11:27-32 >40. 1 Cor. 5:5;
11:27-32. >41. John 10:28,29. >42. 1 Cor. 5 & 2
Cor. 2. >43. 2 Cor. 2 and 7].
Another parallel is Jesus and the nation Israel. Israel
became the bride of Jehovah/Jesus>44. When Israel
misused their bodies/temple, Jehovah/Jesus allowed
their bodies to suffer>45. He didn't end His
relationship/promises with the nation Israel, even
though He allowed many of them to suffer/die and
allowed the temple to be destroyed. When Israel
repented genuinely, He restored His fellowship and
blessings to the genuinely repentant, even allowing
them to rebuild the temple for full fellowship>46.
Jehovah/Jesus' bond with the nation Israel was not
annulled and broken by their sin nor the chastening
He allowed>47.
[Footnote: >44. (Ex. 20; Ezek. 16:7; 23:1-6). >45.
1Cor. 10:9,10 >46. Ezra, Nehemiah. >47. Ezekiel
16 and 23; Hosea]
In American reality, because of the wretchedly poor
Bible teaching today Christians, divorce and remarry
almost as much as J.Q Public. The Christian wife
divorces her Christian husbandand remarries in
adultery reaping the chastening of the Lord until she
dies>48 or repents in reconciliation or celibacy if she
is genuinely born again. The Christian man divorces
his Christian wife and remarries. If he really
repudiates his Christian wife for another and marries
another he commits adultery>49 and reaps the Lord's
chastening. At this point we need to define our terms.
[Footnotes:>48. (1 Cor 5 and 11:29-32); >49
(Mark 10, Luke 16, Matt 5, 1 Cor 7)]
III. DIVORCE DEFINED.
Let me try to clarify the word "divorce" at this
point since it has so many definitions in our current
culture. The Greek word apoluo >1 used by Jesus in
Mark 10:11 & 12 means TO SEND OR PUT AWAY,
DISMISS (FROM ONE'S PRESENCE), RELEASE AND
REPUDIATE. It could be done informally or formally
and legally as divorce.
[Footnote: .>III.1 See also Matt. 1:19; 5:31; 19:3,7-9.]
The Greek word choridzo >2 , used in Mark 10:9 of
the saved couple and in 1 Cor. 7:10 &11 of the saved
wife , and in v. 15 of the unsaved mate, means TO
SEPARATE ONESELF FROM ANOTHER, BE SEPARATED;
LEAVE, PART OR DEPART FROM, PUT ASUNDER AND
DIVIDE. It could be done informally or formally as a
divorce. God allows the Christian wife to choridzo
her husband as second best but still affirms that she
is bound maritally to her husband as in v. 39.
[III. footnotes: >III.2. See also active: Matt. 19:6; Mark
10:9; Rom. 8;35,39;---passive: 1 Cor. 7:10,11,15;Acts
1:4; 18:2]
The Greek word afeeaymee >141, used of the man in l
Cor. 7:11 and 12 and of the woman in v. 13, means TO
SEND AWAY, ASK TO GO AWAY OR LEAVE, TO
RELEASE, AND TO LEAVE. This can be done informally
or as a formal divorce. So the word divorce can mean
many different things depending on one's culture,
society, motivation, intent and purposes. But the
bottom line is that the husband is commanded not to
send his wife away, nor to ask his wife to leave, nor
release her nor leave her. Even if she asks or
commands him to leave, He is under the Lord's
command not to leave. Even if she gets a court order,
he is under God's order not to leave her voluntarily.
If the marshals/officials remove him and his
belongings, then he didn't leave voluntarily. He was
removed, but he did not relase or leave her. Separate
rooms, sleeping separately or etc. is not leaving or
releasing her as long as he is obeying 1 Cor. 7:1-5
with her.l
[Footnote: .^141 See also Mat. 13:36;; Mark 4:36.]
In summary we see the following:
(1) the Christian husband must not
divorce/send away/release [See apoluo or afeeaymee
above] his Christian wife to whom he is bound as
long as they both live. 1 Cor. 5:10,11 and 2 Thess. 3:6
& 14 may require a separation that doesn't involve
sending her away, asking her to go away or leave,
releasing her from their marriage bond, or leaving
her ---- but they are still bound for life. I
experienced such a separation without leaving with
the mother of my children. The last two years we
were together we slept inthe same king size bed but
she never let me touch her, kiss her, hold her or make
love with her. Now that is separation without leaving.
But for the male under 1 Cor. 5:ll and 2 Thess. 3:6,14
commands to "stand apart" from his sining wife would
still be bound by the commands in 1 Cor. 7:2,3,4,5
which could require him to be maritally intimate with
her, so the "separation" would have to be in other
areas ---- always in the Spirit of 2 Tim. 2:24-26;
Galat. 6:1,2,3; and Luke 6 ---- like not eating together,
not hanging out together, not dating, not socializing
together , not spending your leisure time together or
etc.
(2) the saved husband must not divorce/send
away/ask to leave/leave [See afeeaymee above] his
unsaved wife as long as she agrees or consents or is
willing to dwell/live /house with him.
(3) the Christian wife must not divorce/send
away/dismiss/repudiate[See apoluo above] and
should not (but may) divorce/separate
from/leave/put apart [See choridzo above] her
Christian husband. The saved wife must not
divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave [See
afeeaymee above] her unsaved husband as long as
he agrees or consents or is willing to dwell/live/house
with her. Because of the definition and 1 Cor. 7:11
some believe that the saved wife also can
divorce/separate from/leave/put apart [choridzo]
her unsaved husband in faithful separation, but still
not divorce/send away/ask to leave/leave
[afeeaymee] him, in the event of spousal abuse,
fornication or etc. These actions find many different
legal and informal forms and expressions in many
different cultures and subcultures. So when you see
the word �divorce� in your Bible, it at least means
�send away, release�, "leave" or �be separated, put
asunder, divide� informally or formally.
If Mark 10:8-12; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11,39 and Romans
7:1-3 are taken quite literally, a genuinely saved Elias
who legally married (with no vow of exclusivity such
as �forsaking all others� & �keeping yourselves only to
each other until death do you part�) and was legally
divorced by several genuinely saved Jane Does who
just wanted to live as singles again>142 would have to
deal with the question, "Are they still my wives in
God's eyes?". They all divorced him exercising their
scriptural option and whatever he felt or wanted
would be irrelevant in terms of 1 Cor. 7:11,39. What
if these genuinely saved but carnal Jane Does became
engaged to others and maritally vowed to forsake all
others including their Elias and to keep themselves
only to their new mates until death part them? It
would be adultery and their vows would be sinful
because those vows would be invalidated by God's
statement in Mark 10:8-12 and 1 Corinth. 7 :11,39
that they are bound to Elias as long as they both live.
[Footnote: >142 (1 Cor. 7:11) ]
But wait a minute! Wouldn't it be adultery for Elias to
remarry even if his Christian wife divorced him? I
mean wasn't he still bound to her even if she dumped
him and never saw him again, living single in
separation? Wouldn't Elias still be bound to his
departed and separated Christian wife (according to1
Corinthians 7:10,11,39) even though her departure for
other reasons than prayer and fasting leaves him
subject to Satan's temptations due to his not having
the gift of celibacy (1Cor.7:5)? Why is she allowed to
disobey 1 Cor. 7:5 by leaving him indefinitely (1 Cor.
7:10,11) for some other reason than prayer and
fasting? To find the answers to these questions, let's
take a look at what the Bible says about the
institution of marriage in its various forms and over
time.
VI. ADULTERY DEFINED, A SURPRISE! ISN�T
POLYGYNY ADULTERY?
Some say �The same laws apply to both male
and female. This is an issue of nature, not role.
Therefore all are equal: male and female.� Some Bible
interpreters are more zealous for unisex doctrines and
practices than the bleeding heart liberals who
encourage unisex restroom and coed dorms. God
made males and females very different for a reason,
and we miss the mark when we fail to recognize the
differences He made and instituted. Mary
leave/divorces Elias. Some say that this forsaken
Elias commits adultery when he marries Sally but the
Biblical definition of adultery>143 in Matt. 5:32 and
19:6-9; Mark 10:1-11; Luke 16:18; 1 Thess. 4:4-6 and
Romans 7:1-3>143 plainly states the double standard
in the definition of adultery. There really are
different scriptural laws for men than for women
governing marriage and remarriage, and there are
different scriptural laws for men than for women
defining adultery.
Adultery for the woman:
1. "Whoever marries a woman who is divorced
commits adultery">144. The reason being that she is
still bound to him as wife.>145.
[Footnote: >144 Mat. 5:32; 19:9; Luke 16:18; except in
the cases of 1 Cor. 7:12-15,39; 1 Tim. 5:14. >145. 1
Cor. 7:10, 11, 39; Romans 7:1-3. ]
2. The husband "causes her to commit adultery"
when he divorces her for any reason other than
sexual immorality>146. The reason being that she is
still bound to him as wife.>147 In 1 Corinth. 7:5
we see that her husband "causes her to commit
adultery" because her husband is failing to meet her
marital needs and the enemy of her soul tempts in
her burning need. (On the other hand: The wife is not
said to cause her husband to commit adultery when
she divorces him for any other reason than sexual
immorality, probably because he is free to be a
polygynist.)
[Footnote: >146. Matt. 5:32; 19:9. >147 1 Cor. 7:10,
11, 39; Romans 7:1-3.]
3. "And if a woman divorces her husband and marries
another, she commits adultery.">148. The adultery
consists of both divorce AND remarriage. The reason
being that she is still bound to him as wife.>149.
[Footnotes:>148. Mark 10:12. >149. 1 Cor. 7:10, 11,
39; Romans 7:1-3.]
4. "if, while her husband lives, she marries another
man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her
husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is
no adulteress, though she has married another
man.">150
[Footnote: >150. Romans 7:3.]
Adultery for the man:
1. "Whoever marries a woman who is divorced
commits adultery", obviously because she still is
bound to the husband from whom she is divorced.
[>.^151. Mat. 5:32; 19:9; except in the cases of 1 Cor.
7:12-15,39; 1 Tim. 5:14.]
2. "Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual
immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."
The adultery consists of divorcing his wife for
something else besides sexual immorality AND then
remarrying. If he stayed married to his wife and
married another, he became a polygynist. On the
other hand, it is implied here that if he divorces his
wife for sexual immorality and marries another, he
does not commit adultery. His divorcing her does not
cause her to commit adultery because she is already
immorally sexually involved with someone else. His
refusal to meet her sexual needs (1 Cor 7:2-5) does
not cause her to be immoral because she is already
being immoral. He is commanded not to be intimate
with her (1Cor.5:11) but his lack of her intimacy will
cause him to be tempted (1 Cor.7:5). If the
temptations overcome him and he is faling to control
himself, burning with marital desire, he comes under
command to marry (1Cor.7:9) and so remarries in the
Lord. [Footnote: >152. Matt 19: 9: Mark 10:11; Luke
16:18.152.]
3. "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits
adultery against her." Mark 10:11 Pretty clear, right? But please note
that nowhere in the Bible does He say "Whoever remains married to
his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her."
Why? Remembering that when Jesus walked on earth He Himself
commanded the apostles and His disciples to observe and obey all of
the Law of Moses>a., including the Laws about polygyny cited in the
following, and that the apostles and Jewish believers kept and
observed all the Laws given to Moses (including those about
polygyny) through the entire book of Acts>b. period up until God
released the apostles and believing Jews from the Law of Moses in
Ephesians 2 and Colosians 2, consider the following facts:
(1) Immediately after God gave Moses the ten commandments He
gave Moses instructions for men who have more than one wife>14. .
(2) Later He gave Moses instructions (Dt.12:1ff) for a husband who
has two wives>15. .
(3) He gave Moses specific instructions for the brother-in-laws of a
widow and did not exempt any brother who was already married>16.
and Jesus introduced no such exemption when He spoke of this
passage>17.
(4) God Himself told polygynist King David (he had ten +/- wives and
concubines at the time>18. ) that He had been with him wherever he
had
gone, that He would make a great name for him, that his descendant
would be the Messiah>19. , and that He Himself had given David
more
than one wife>20.
(5) God, who cannot sin and never portrays Himself as sinning,
portrayed Himself as the polygynist husband of two wives in Ezekiel
23.
[Footnotes: >a. Matthew 23:1-3
>b. In Matthew 23:1-3 Jesus commands obedience to the Laws give n
to Moses. In Acts 15 the
believing non-Jews, not the believing Jews, were released from the
Laws given to Moses. In Acts
21:15-25 we see the Jewish apostle Paul and the surviving apostles still
obeying the Law of Moses
in obedience to Christ in Matt. 23:1-3.
>14. Exodus 21:7-11 (See Hosea 3:2; Deut. 25:5-10; Lev. 19:20)
>15. Deut. 21:15-17 (See 2 Chron. 24:3; Gen. 29:33; 1 Chron.5:2; 26:10;
2 Kings 2:9)
>16. Deut. 25:5-10
>17. Matt. 22:23-25; Mark 12:18-20; Luke 20:27-29
>18. 2 Samuel 5:13; 6:12-23
>19. 2 Samuel 7:8-17
>20. 2 Samuel 12:8 ; that this did not mean platonic care is evident
from 1 Kings 1:1-3; 2:13-25.
4. "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife.">153.
"You shall not lie carnally with your neighbor's
wife�>154. "For this is the will of God. . . ..that no one
should take advantage of and defraud/cheat his
brother in this matter.�>155. A genuine Christian
wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives and
she becomes an adulteress when she marries another
while he still lives.
[Footnotes:>153. Exod. 20:17. >154. Leviticus18:20.
>155. 1 Thess. 4:3-6.]
Adultery for the female is sexual intimacy with
anyone else besides her own husband/mate. Adultery
for the male is when (1) he is married to a new wife
and had left/rejected/divorced his former wife in
order to marry this new wife>99 . ; or (2) is sexually
intimate with some one else�s wife. It is this double
standard that allowed Abraham, Jacob, David and
Joash to be godly polygamists, but declared a woman
to be an adulteress if she was intimate
with anyone but her own mate. It is a double
standard for the man and the woman, just like
polygyny was/is a double standard for the man and
the woman. The same sin is defined differently for
the woman and differently for the man. See more on
this below.
[Footnotes:>99 It is the combination of divorcing one's
mate in order to marry another and then marrying
that other. If he both dutifully keeps his own wife
and then marries another woman, it is polygyny and
not adultery. If the wife dutifully keeps her own
husband and marries another it is adultery (Romans
7:3) The double standard is clearly laid out in Matt.
5:32 and 19:6-9; Mark 10:1-11; Luke 16:18; 1 Thess.
4:4-6 and Romans 7:1-3; 1 Corinth. 7:39]
It is this double standard that results from the man
being the designated the head of the family (Gen 2;
1Cor. 11), that results in what appears to be another
inequity. In Mt. 5:32 Jesus apparently allows the
genuinely believing husband to divorce his wife
because she is snared in sexual immorality. Not only
is he allowed to divorce her, he is allowed to remarry.
If she is genuinely saved, she is still bound maritlly to
him as wife before the Lord, even though she is
snared in sex sin and Jesus hasn't finished his Mat.
18;15-18 & 1 Cor. 5:5-11 work with her yet. He
remarries with a free-in-the-Lord-to-marry
genuinely believing woman and is now bound before
the Lord to two wives. If the one involved in sex sin
survives 1 Cor . 5 and repents according to 2 Cor. 2 &
7, he must accept her back as his wife along with his
new wife, being bound to both as long as he and they
all live. But what about the genuinely saved wife
whose "believing" husband is involved in sex sin so
she is commanded to separate from and not be
intimate with him.
Such a wife separates from him according to 1 Cor.
7:10,11 but after a while she finds herself being
tempted according to 1 Cor.7:5. Then she falls to the
temptation and is afraid she might fall to it again,
finds herself maritally burning and under command
be married and have marital sex (1Cor.7:5,9;Appendix 6).
Hopefully Jesus has finished his 1 Cor. 5:4,5-11 work
and the guy has either died and his spirit is with the
Lord, if he were really saved, or he has repented
according to 2 Cor 2 & 7 and is ready to be reconciled
to her. Or in the case of Matt. 18:15-18 she has
learned that she is to relate to him as an unsaved
person, an unsaved person who no longer wants to
live with her, no longer wants her as his
wife(1Cor7:13,15), so she is free from him and free to
obey the Lord and get married in the Lord.
Will God intervene in behalf of His fasting and
praying but maritally burning and sorely tempted
daughter, who as wife is separated from her husband
because of his 1 Cor. 5 sin, and because of that
separation is burning with marital desire and sorely
tempted? If He took out the rich and unloving
believers in 1 Cor. 11 for the shabby way they
stumbled and offended their poorer brethren in the
celebration of the Lord's supper, don't you think He
will give her a 1 Cor. 10:13 out or make a quick end
the husband causing her the grief? The God who
promised 1 Cor. 10:13 and Phil. 4:6,7,13,18,19 will not
break those promises.
Let's look at some hypothetical examples. Elias was
divorced/ rejected/abandoned by Jane (with his
never repudiating or rejecting Jane as wife) his new
marriage to free-to-marry Sally may violate no
scripture, may not be what the Bible calls adultery
and may seem to put him in the Old Testament
position of having and being bound to more than one
wife. I understand he would still be bound by the
Lord to the saved wife who left him.
But the way is narrow. If saved Jane leaves/divorces
her saved Elias and marries Harry, it is adultery as
long as both Jane and Harry are married and Elias
lives. If saved Elias leaves/divorces saved Jane for
Sally and marries saved Sally, it is adultery as long as
Jane lives and Elias and Sally are married and
repudiating Jane. If Elias's wife Sally is sexually
intimate with someone else it is adultery. If Elias is
sexually intimate with Pete's lawful wife, it is
adultery. If married Elias is sexually intimate with
single/ unmarried Susie who is playing the harlot
(having sex without being married), it is
fornication>156 If American and legally married-to-
Jane Elias also legally marries free-to-marry Betty, it
is a sin because Elias is under command>157 to obey
the laws of the government authorities which forbids
official/legal bigamy and polygyny and he would
have to live with the legal consequences.
[Footnotes:>156 (Ezekiel 16 and 23 and 1 Corinth. 6.
>157 Romans 13; 1 Peter 2:12-14]
Mark 10 ; 1 Cor 7:10,11, 12, 13-15,39; and Rom 7
seem to state rather clearly that a Christian marriage
lasts and is binding on both as long as both live. That
being the case I often wondered why God gave the
Christian wife the second best option of departing and
remaining unmarried and possibly being reconciled
with her saved husband later. The husband is given
no such second best option. He must not leave his
wife, period! Because of spousal abuse I can
understand why God would allow a wife to separate
herself while still bound to the abuser in marriage in
order to allow the exercise of church discipline>158 to
have an effect. But what about that poor turkey of a
husband who is warned by God>159 that being
deprived of his wife will result in Satanic temptations
to immorality and that he is explicitly forbidden to
leave her, send her away or ask her to leave>160. No
qualifications or exceptions. Why the double
standard? See below.
[Footnotes:>158 (Matt 18 and l Cor 5). >159 (1 Cor.
7:1-5). >160 (Greek of l Cor. 7:11,12 and Mark 10)]
The scriptures above make it plain that if Jane
Dovany exercised her 1 Cor 7:11 repentance option,
having left/divorced Elias, and then Elias repudiated/
rejected Jane in order to marry Sally, Elias's
rejection/repudia-tion of Jane coupled with his
marriage to Sally constitutes Biblical adultery. It
would be adultery if saved Jane divorced/ rejected
saved Elias and married Harry because Biblical
adultery in the scriptures above is saved Jane
divorcing/ rejecting saved Elias and marrying some
one else. According to all of those scriptures, adultery
for the male is either (1) the act of marrying or being
intimate with someone else's wife, (2) or the act of
leaving one wife and taking another wife. Adultery
for the wife is having sexual intimacy with anyone
else except her husband to whom she is married for
life. If you very carefully examine those scriptures
you will see that the Bible does not say it is adultery
for Elias to recognize AS WIFE his self-separated Jane
and at the same time take as wife another saved and
free-to-marry (unbound/ unmarried) sister. See the
discussion on polygyny.
Yes, that�s right, there is a double standard going all
the way back to Genesis. It was not adultery for a
married man to marry another woman free-to-marry
under the laws of God throughout the whole Old
Testament. It was legal and divinely permitted
polygyny , if the scriptures are understood correctly.
Under the same Word of God, a woman who was
sexually intimate with another besides her own
husband was an adulteress. The double standard
started in Genesis 3:16, restated in 1 Corinth. 11 and 1
Timothy 2 appear to allow a godly man to be a
polygamist but does not allow a godly woman to be a
polyandrist.
The woman's repentance option explains the �double
standard� and apparent inequity of 1 Corinthians
7:10,11 where it appears that the woman who has left
her husband has the repentance option of remaining
single but the man must never leave his wife. If a
wife left her husband according to 1 Cor. 7:11, he
would immediately be put in the hazardous position
of 1 Corinth 7:1-5, being tempted to sin because his
wife will not give him the marital sexual outlet since
she is gone. It seemed to me to be quite unfair that
she could leave him and live unmarried, and he,
knowing he is still bound to her for life, has to struggle with the
burning temptations predicted in 1 Corinth. 7:1-5, 9 (See Appendix
6) with no legitimate sexual outlet.
Then I realized that 1 Corinth. 7:1-5 predicted his
need of marital intimacy, how Satan would use the
wife's absence to tempt him, how marital intimacy is
the prescription to avoid Satan's temptations, and
then the command in verse 9 plainly commands the
one to marry who is failing to have successful self-
control>100 . Then I realized that the polygyny
option balanced the equation. The wife could leave
her husband and remain single and the husband who
was still bound to such a departed wife seems to have
had a Biblical option of polygyny / concubinage, (depending on the
laws of his land) if he found himself tempted and burning as in 1
Cor. 7:5, 9,12 (See Appendix 6). She could leave and he could
remarry becoming a polygamist and the inequity was gone. She
could separate and remain single, and he could remarry as long as
he recognized that he was still bound to his separated wife.
[Footnote: >100 See Appendix Six.]
Now consider the case where the wife, claiming to be
a Christian, refuses for years to obey 1 Cor. 7:1-5 with
her saved husband and then finally leaves, abandons,
rejects ,separates herself , and dismisses him from her
presence. She doesn't care about getting a formal
divorce but feels free to date and get involved with
another man. Her abandoned husband is faced with
the question, "Is she saved and is it a case of 1 Cor.
7:11 & 39 or is she unsaved
and is he free according to l Cor. 7:12 & 15?" Her
abandoned husband wants to do Matt. 18:15-17 to
clarify the situation and get an answer to his question
but can find no Christian body willing to do the
following:
MKJV MKJV 1 CORINTH. 5: . . . �I indeed have judged
already [as though I were] present [concerning] him
who worked out this thing; 4 in the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, with my
spirit; also, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ; 5
to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of
the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of
the Lord Jesus. . . . 11 But now I have written to you
not to associate intimately, if any man called a
brother [and is] either a fornicator, or covetous, or an
idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner;
with such a one not to eat. 12 . . . Do you not judge
those who are inside? 13 . . . Therefore put out from
you the evil one.�
MKJV MATTHEW 5:32* �But I say to you that
whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause
of fornication, causes her to commit adultery. And
whoever shall marry her who is put away
commits adultery.�
MATTHEW 18: 15 � �But if your brother shall trespass
against you, go and tell him his fault between you and
him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your
brother. 16 But if he will not hear [you], take one or
two more with you, so that in [the] mouth of two or
three witnesses every word may be established. 17
And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell [it] to the
church. But if he neglects to hear the church, let him
be to you as a heathen and a tax-
collector.�
5:32*� But I say to you that whoever shall put
away his wife, except for the cause of fornication,
causes her to commit adultery. And whoever shall
marry her who is put away commits adultery. . . .�
18 �Truly I say to you, Whatever you shall bind on
earth shall occur, having been bound in Heaven; and
whatever you shall loose on earth shall occur, having
been loosed in Heaven.�
This means he is unable to clarify the status of both
himself and his departed wife. He is unable to
determine if she is unsaved and he is free to
remarry>161, , or if she is saved and he is bound
maritally to her for life>162 So without sending her
away, dismissing , repudiating, leaving, releasing or
separating himself from her, he gets a legal divorce
(on the grounds of irreconcilable differences) for state
and federal tax and inheritance purposes but
reaffirms in writing to her what he believes may be
the binding nature of their relationship>163 .
[Footnotes>161 1 Cor. 7:12,13,14,15. >162 1
Cor. 7:10,11, 39; Mark 10; Rom. 7:1-5. >163 (1 Cor.
7:39)]
So the divorce is only a legal recognition of the wife's
departure and unwillingness to be reconciled, while
he still publicly recognizes the binding nature of their
relationship. Then he remarries another Christian
because his burning and his 1 Cor. 7:5 predicted
failures to control himself bring him under the
command to marry in l Cor. 7:9,36 (NIV & Amplified
"they should marry" See Appendix 6),
1 Cor. 7:36 (NIV "They should get married);
1 Tim 5:14 (NIV "So I counsel younger widows to
marry.."
Amplified "So I would have younger [widows]
marry..") and
1 Thess 4:3-8 (NIV "that each of you should learn to
control his own body in a way that is holy and
honorable . . ..") >101
[Footnote>101 Please see Appendix Six; NIV , NEW
INTERNA-TIONAL VERSION. ]
He has entered the realm of American polygyny .
Legally divorced and remarried but openly
acknowledging his marital ties to two "sisters-in-
Christ", he is an American polygamist. The departed
wife could remarry in adultery or remain single the
rest of her life while he continues in his new
marriage. If she repents and opts for reconciliation
after he has married again, all of her rights and
privileges as in 1 Cor. 7:1-5 & 39 are in force and the
husband faces the complex dilemma described next.
How do you have two wives in America where it is
illegal to officially and "legally" have more than one
wife of official public record with tax and inheritance
rights granted and protected by the government?
Please see the discussion of polygyny in chapter 4.
X. DOES GOD FORGIVE BROKEN VOWS, DIVORCE AND
ADULTERY?
The issue here is does God forgive born again
Christians when they fall into divorce and adultery?
The cornerstone of this issue is "What is a born again
Christian?" Genuinely born again Christians would
be characterized by the
following: (1) They have believed and received Jesus
Christ, God revealed in the flesh, as the Master of
their daily lives and as their Savior from the penalties
and power of sin in their lives; (2) They have a
consistent public testimony by word and deed of their
salvation; (3) They live in obedience to the Word at
home and away from home; (4) They are
compassionately and effectively involved in nurturing
and shepherding Christian fellowship; (5) They are
characterized by the fruits of the Spirit instead of the
works of the flesh; (6) They are faithfully in the Word
in a life building way; and (7) They are faithfully in
prayer on a regular basis. If any of these is missing,
you should not feel comfortable about their status
with the Lord and it would be a mistake to assume
that they are really saved.
We don't have to decide if someone is saved, all we
have to do is decide if their life lines up with the
Word, and if it doesn't, then we are to do the
following:
MKJV 1 TIMOTHY 5:19 �Do not receive an accusation
against an elder except before two or three witnesses.
20 Those who sin, rebuke before all, so that the rest
also may fear. 21 I charge [you] before God and [the]
Lord Jesus
Christ, and the elect angels, that you guard these
things without prejudice, doing nothing by partiality.�
MKJV GALA. 6: 1 � �Brothers, if a man is overtaken in
a fault, you the spiritual ones restore such a one in
the spirit of meekness, considering yourself, lest you
also be tempted. 2 Bear one another's burdens, and
so you will fulfill the law of Christ.�
DARBY MATT. 18:15 � �But if thy brother sin against
thee, go, reprove him between thee and him alone. If
he hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if
he do not hear [thee], take with thee one or two
besides, that every
matter may stand upon the word of two witnesses or
of three. 17 But if he will not listen to them, tell it to
the assembly; and if also he will not listen to the
assembly, let him be to thee as one of the nations and
a tax-gatherer.�
DARBY 1 CORINTH.5:3 �For *I*, [as] absent in body but
present in spirit, have already judged as present, 4 [to
deliver,] in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ (ye and
my spirit being gathered together, with the power of
our Lord Jesus Christ), him that has so wrought this: 5
to deliver him, [I say,] [being] such, to Satan for
destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved
in the day of the Lord Jesus.�
DBY 2 THESS. 3: 6 � �Now we enjoin you, brethren, in
the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw from every brother
walking disorderly and not according to the
instruction which he received from us. . . .14 But if
any one obey not our word by the letter, mark that
man, and do not keep company with him, that he may
be ashamed of himself; 15 and do not esteem him as
an enemy, but admonish [him] as a brother.�
If they fail the Matt. 18:15-18 procedure, then God
tells us to treat and relate to them as if they were
unsaved. This would be very important for a
Christian married to someone of whose salvation
he/she is not sure. This uncertainty should be
resolved so the Christian could know if his/her
instructions are those of 1 Cor. 7:10,11,39 or 1 Cor.
7:12-15. So we are talking about real, sincere and
genuine children of God who become involved in
divorce etc. and need to know God's will for them.
Can a Christian divorce a Christian mate, ask God to
forgive them, and then go on and marry another
Christian with God's blessing? In Matt. 5:23,24 Jesus
says you must not only ask forgiveness but you must
attempt to right the wrong for which you seek
forgiveness. Zaccheus received Jesus salvation
because he not only confessed his sin but also righted
his wrongs against others. In Mark 10:11, 12 Jesus
did not say, Whoever divorces his wife, asks
forgiveness for divorcing his wife and then marries
another may be blessed. Not at all, and quite to the
contrary.
Mark 10:7 �For this cause a man shall leave his
father and mother and cleave to his wife, 8 and the
two shall be one flesh; so then they are no longer two
but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined
together, let not man separate. . . . 11 And he says to
them, Whosoever shall put away his wife and shall
marry another, commits adultery against her. 12 And
if a woman shall put away her husband and shall
marry another, she commits adultery.�
The adultery is not just that he married her in a
wedding ceremony, a single event, rather the adultery
is that he continues to be married to her and keeps on
being married to her. It's not a matter of asking God
to forgive you for the wedding ceremony that
resulted in you being married. It is a matter of
asking God to forgive you for continuing and keeping
on being married to your new adulterous mate. The
Greek verb is present tense indicative which indicates
an on going and continuing condition. The one who
put away the other and marries yet another keeps on
and continues committing adultery against the one
put away as long as the one put away remains put
away.
So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and
marries another keeps on and continues committing
adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her
husband and marries another, she keeps on and
continues committing
adultery."
Matt. 21:28-32 reveals it is the one who regrets the
wrong and rights the wrong that does the will of his
father. In the context of faithfulness, trustworthiness
and covenant keeping >164 Jesus says that it is
adultery to
repudiate (reject, dismiss, send away, abandon, etc.)
and marry another and whoever marries the
repudiated wife commits adultery. The wrongs are
repudiation with remarriage. He who confesses and
covers repudiation with remarriage will not prosper,
but whoever agrees with God about repudiation and
remarriage and forsakes the repudiation and
remarriage will have mercy from God>165 .
[Footnotes:>164(Luke 16:1-18). >165 (Prov 28:13)]
The omolego confession of 1 John 1:9 means the one
who AGREES WITH GOD ABOUT HIS SIN receives His
faithful and just forgiveness. To agree with God about
the sin of repudiation-with-remarriage adultery
means to forsake the repudiation-with-remarriage
adultery. It doesn't mean saying "OOPS! I'm so
sorry!" and expecting God to forgive you for
repudiating/ leaving your mate now that you have
married another. The sin to be forsaken is the sin of
repudiating/leaving/ putting away the mate to whom
you are bound for life in the Lord---and marrying
another mate.
Just because you confess that you repudiated (or etc.)
your saved wife doesn't change the following
scriptures ----
MKJV MALACHI 2: 14 �Yet you say, Why? Because the
LORD has been witness between you and the wife of
your youth, against whom you have dealt
treacherously; yet she [is] your companion and your
covenant wife. 15 And did He not make [you] one? Yet
the vestige of the Spirit [is in] him. And what [of] the
one? He was seeking a godly seed. Then guard your
spirit, and do not act treacherously with the wife of
your youth. 16 The LORD, the God of Israel, says He
hates sending away; and to cover [with] violence on
his garment, says the LORD of hosts. Then guard your
spirit, and do not act treacherously�
MJJV LUKE 16: 15 �And He said to them, You are those
who justify yourselves before men, but God knows
your hearts. For that which is highly esteemed among
men is abomination in the sight of God. . . .18
Everyone putting away his wife and marrying another
commits adultery; and everyone marrying her who is
put away from [her] husband commits adultery.�
DBY MARK 10: 6 but from [the] beginning of [the]
creation God made them male and female. 7 For this
cause a man shall leave his father and mother and
shall be united to his wife, 8 and the two shall be one
flesh: so that they are no longer two but one flesh. 9
What therefore God has joined together, let not man
separate. . . . 11 And he says to them, Whosoever shall
put away his wife and shall marry another, commits
adultery against her. 12 And if a woman put away
her husband and shall marry another, she commits
adultery.�
DBY ROMANS 7:1 � �Are ye ignorant, brethren, (for I
speak to those knowing law,) that law rules over a
man as long as he lives? 2* For the married woman is
bound by law to her husband so long as he is alive;
but if the husband should die, she is clear from the
law of the husband: 3* so then, the husband being
alive, she shall be called an adulteress if she be to
another
man; but if the husband should die, she is free from
the law, so as not to be an
adulteress, though she be to another man.�
DBY 1 CORINTH. 7: 4 �The wife has not authority over
her own body, but the husband: in like manner also
the husband has not authority over his own body, but
the wife. 5 Defraud not one another, unless, it may
be, by consent for a time, that ye may devote
yourselves to prayer, and again be together, that
Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency. . . .
10* � But to the married I enjoin, not *I*, but the
Lord, Let not wife be separated from husband; 11*
(but if also she shall have been separated, let her
remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband;)
and let not husband leave wife. . . . 39* � A wife is
bound for whatever time her husband lives; but if the
husband be fallen asleep, she is free to be married to
whom she will, only in [the] Lord.�
These plainly state that you are bound to born-again
mate as long as you both live. When God forgives us
he washes us and accepts us while at the same time
condemning and denouncing the wrong that we did.
The confession with forgiveness doesn't undo the
sinful deed, but rights the sinner and frees him from
the eternal consequences of his sin. In like manner
we are told to submit to judgment the sinning saint in
his sin >166 and when he renounces and forsakes the
sin we forgive and reconcile with him>167 .
[Footnontes: >166 (1 Cor. 5:1-11). >167 (2 Cor.2)]
2 Cor 7 makes it plain that worldly sorrow which
results in no or inadequate repentance brings
judgment while godly sorrow that works genuine
repentance from the wrong and sinful act/deed/
thought results in deliverance. We are to diligently,
zealously, angrily, earnestly vindicate
ourselves by clearing ourselves of the wrong and/or
sinful matter (adulterous repudiation-with-
remarriage). We are to clear ourselves of the
repudiation-with-remarriage that is the adultery.
There is no way we can run to the God of the
following passages and expect Him to favor and bless
the one who breaks his engagement and/or wedding
vows, covenants, oaths and promises.
MKJV PSALM 15: 1 � �A Psalm of David. LORD, who
shall dwell in Your
tabernacle? . . .2 He who walks uprightly, and works
righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart; . . .
[he] has sworn to his hurt, and does not change it; 5 . .
He who does these [things] shall not be moved
forever.�
MKJV ECCLES. 5:4 � �When you vow a vow to God, do
not wait to pay it. For He has no pleasure in fools. Pay
that which you have vowed. 5 [it is] better that you
should not vow, than that you should vow and not
pay. 6 Do not allow your mouth to cause your flesh to
sin; do not say before the angel that it [was] an error.
Why should God be angry at your voice and destroy
the work of your hands?�
DBY MALACHI 2:14 �Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because
Jehovah hath been a
witness between thee and the wife of thy youth,
against whom thou hast dealt unfaithfully: yet is she
thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15 And
did not one make [them]? and the remnant of the
Spirit was his. And
wherefore the one? He sought a seed of God. Take
heed then to your spirit, and let none deal
unfaithfully against the wife of his youth, 16 (for I
hate putting away, saith Jehovah the God of Israel;)
and he covereth with violence his garment, saith
Jehovah of hosts: take heed then to your spirit, that
ye deal not unfaithfully.�
MKJV ROMANS 1:28 �And even as they did not think
fit to have God in [their] knowledge, God gave them
over to a reprobate mind, to do the things not right,
29 . . .[becoming] . . ., haters of God, insolent,
covenant-breakers, . . . 32 who, knowing the righteous
order of God, that those practicing such things are
worthy of death, not only do them, but have pleasure
in those practicing [them].�
You can�t run to this God of integrity and honor and
say, "OOPS! I'm so sorry I repudiated (or etc.) my
wife, Carlita, for Sonia and went on and married Sonia.
I know you'll forgive me for divorcing my Carlita and
breaking my vows and promises to her so I can be
blessed by You with my Sonia!" Romans 13:7-14
and l Cor.11:27-33 shows that God holds us
responsible to do His right things with those with
whom we have to do, and woe to us if we don't.
The fouth century's St. Augustine states the
seriousness of this situation powerfully in the
following:
�To such a degree is that marriage compact entered
upon a matter of a certain sacrament, that it is not
made void even by separation itself, since, so long as
her husband lives, even by whom she hath been left,
she commits adultery, in case she be married to
another: and he who hath left her, is the cause of this
evil. . . Seeing that the compact of marriage is not
done away by divorce intervening; so that they
continue wedded persons one to another, even after
separation; and commit adultery with those, with
whom they shall be joined, even after their own
divorce, either the woman with a man, or the man
with a woman. . . But a marriage once for all entered
upon in the City of our God, where, even from the first
union of the two, the man and the woman, marriage
bears a certain sacramental character, can no way be
dissolved but by the death of one of them. For the
bond of marriage remains, although a family [i.e.
children], for the sake of which it was entered upon,
do not follow through manifest barrenness; so that,
when now married persons know that they shall not
have children, yet it is not lawful for them to separate
even for the very sake of children, and to join
themselves unto others. And if they shall so do, they
commit adultery with those unto whom they join
themselves, but themselves remain husbands and
wives [to each other] . . Therefore the good of
marriage throughout all nations and all men stands in
the occasion of begetting, and faith of chastity: but, so
far as pertains unto the People of God, also in the
sanctity of the sacrament, by reason of which it is
unlawful for one who leaves her husband, even when
she has been put away, to be married to another, so
long as her husband lives, no not even for the sake of
bearing children: . . . not even where that very thing,
wherefore it takes place, follows not, is the marriage
bond loosed, save by the death of the husband or
wife.�
[Footnote: >. n102 St. Augustin: On The Trinity; pp.
402, 406, 412]
The aim of repentance is reconciliation with people
and with God. St. Jerome (340-420 A.D.) stated that
"a wife who has been put away, may not, so long as
her husband lives, be married to another, or at all
events that her duty is to be reconciled to her
husband.">103 God is Love and forgiveness, and most
people aren�t. Matt. 5:23,24 and 18:15-18 tell about
repentance�s reconciliation and how to do it, but when
dealing with so-called sinning �brothers/sister�>168 and the
snared/dead/blind/foolish/ manipulated unsaved>169
reconciliation may not be possible just like fellowship,
communion, accord, and agreement>170 are not
usually possible or sometimes not even desired with
such folks. You repent and right the wrong if possible
for your sake and the name of God whether or not
reconciliation ever takes place. Your repentance does
not depend on the cooperation, or lack of it, of the
victim/witness. If they wont cooperate, then you are
responsible to do the right you know to do, and you
are not responsible to do the right you are unable to
do if it requires the cooperation of someone who is
unwilling to cooperate.
[Footnotes:>.n103 A Select Library of the Nicene and
Post-Nicene Fathers of
The Christian Church,Vol. VIII; p.353. >168 (1 Cor.
5:9-12; 2 Thess. 3:6-14).
>169 (2 Tim. 2:25,26; Ephes. 2:1,2; Psalm 1 and 14).
>170 (2Cor. 6:14,15).]
Before God you must render that which is due >171
by covenant with your rejected wife. If a Christian brother
remarried in adultery, it seems that any vows/ covenants he
made with his new wife of adultery, if she were indeed
free to marry him, would still be as binding as those he
made with any creditor, employer or neighbor. Remarried to
his rejected wife in godly sorrow and repentance, any lawful
and right covenants he made with the wife of his adultery
(and his children by her) that don�t involve the adultery
would still be binding on him and in honor he would
be bound by his nonadulterous covenants with her
and theirs. Situations like these demand of our
leaders the wisdom of Solomon and bold and
authoritative teaching from the Word of God about
these issues.
[Footnote: >171 (Rom. 13:7-10; 1 Cor. 7:1-5)]
What about conflicting vows and/or covenants? We
are not our own and we are bought with a price >172 so we
have no authority to vow or covenant to do something
contrary to the will of God. Even in the Old Testament the
husband could void any vow made by his wife that was
unacceptable to him as her husband, and the father of
a daughter could void any vow made by his
daughte>173 . As a member of the Bride of Christ, as
His bond slave, as His child, He can and surely does void any
vow or covenant that we might make that is contrary to His
will.
[Footnotes:>172 (1 Cor. 6). >173 Numbers 30:1-16]
What if the vows or covenants do not involve sin, but
they contradict each other? Wouldn't the vow or covenant
made first take priority over any contradictory vow or
covenant made later---all other things being equal?
What if a person made a set of vows/covenants and
later found that some of that set of vows/covenants were
sinful, contrary to the will of God or voided by another
vow/covenant made earlier? Wouldn't only those few vows/
covenants that were wrong be voided by God, leaving
standing the rest of the vows/covenants made? When
it comes to vows and covenants we need to be very
careful to obey James 5:12A>.Ap#7 If we do stick
our necks out in a vow/covenant not according to
James 4:15, then we need to know that God has no
pleasure in fools so we need to keep our word>174
[Footnotes: >.Ap#7 See Appendix #7.p#7 and James
4:13-17A. >174
(Eccles. 5:2-7; Psalm 116:14;; 66:13,14; 15:4; Ezek
17:15-20; Rom. 1:31)]
But Gorki may say, "What about my new mate, Lara,
and the children we have had since I repudiated (or
etc.) Slavania and married Lara?" God's grace and love
is big enough for the whole world, as well as his legal
but new mate-in-sin Lara and his new children-in-
adultery. Gorki is still under God's command of Eph. 6
(etc.) to parent, love and provide for them. But what
about Lara?" You know this happens with professing
Christians divorcing and remarrying professing
Christians in America today! Well, what about Lara?
If she is bound by God for life to Stanislavski, then
just like King David's Michal (who was "legally"
divorced and remarried), she has to return to her
Christian husband, Stanislavski, to whom she is bound
for life. Gorki may still love Lara and he may have to
parent his own children, but Lara is bound to
Stanislavski as long as they both live>175 . See the
discussion "Can you go home again".
[Footnote: >175 (1 Cor. 7; Rom 7)]
Ezekiel 16:59 �For thus says the Lord Jehovah: I will
even deal with you as
you have done, WHO HAVE DESPISED THE OATH, AND
BROKEN THE COVENANT. . . . 17: 15 But he rebelled
against him . . . Shall he prosper? shall he escape
that does such things? SHALL HE BREAK THE
COVENANT, AND YET ESCAPE? . . . 16 [As] I live, says
the Lord Jehovah, verily in the place of the king that
made him king, WHOSE OATH HE DESPISED, AND
WHOSE COVENANT HE BROKE, even with him, in the
midst of Babylon, shall he die. . . .18 HE DESPISED THE
OATH, AND BROKE THE COVENANT; and behold, he had
given his hand, yet has he done all these things: he
shall not escape. 19 Therefore thus says the Lord
Jehovah: [As] I live, verily, MINE OATH WHICH HE
HAS DESPISED, AND MY COVENANT WHICH HE HAS
BROKEN, EVEN IT WILL I RECOMPENSE UPON HIS
HEAD. 20 AND I WILL SPREAD MY NET UPON HIM,
AND HE SHALL BE TAKEN IN MY SNARE; . . �.
XI. CAN YOU COME BACK TOGETHER AND REMARRY
AFTER ADULTEROUS REMARRIAGES?
Ezekiel 16: 3 . . . �Thus says the Lord Jehovah unto
Jerusalem: Your birth and Your nativity is of the land
of the Canaanite: your father was an Amorite, and
your mother a Hittite. 8 And I passed by you, and
looked upon you, and behold, your time was the time
of love; and I spread my skirt over you, and covered
your nakedness; and I SWORE UNTO YOU, AND
ENTERED INTO A COVENANT WITH YOU says the Lord
Jehovah, and you became mine. . . . 15 � But you did
confide in your beauty, and played the harlot because
of your renown, and poured out your whoredoms on
every one that passed by: his it was. . . . . 32 O
adulterous wife, that takes strangers instead of her
husband. 59 For thus says the Lord Jehovah: I will
even deal with you as you have done, WHO HAVE
DESPISED THE OATH, AND BROKEN THE COVENANT.
60 � Nevertheless I will remember MY COVENANT
with you in the days of your youth, and I will
establish unto you an everlasting covenant. 61 And
you shall remember your ways, and be confounded, .
. I will give them unto you for daughters, but not by
virtue of YOUR COVENANT. 62 And I will establish
MY COVENANT WITH YOU, and you shall know that I
[am] Jehovah; 63 that you may remember, and be
ashamed, and no more open your mouth because of
your confusion, when I forgive you all that you have
done, says the Lord Jehovah.�
Should I go back to my godly mate from whom I, a
born again believer, was divorced while we were both in the
Lord? What does the Word say? Consider God's example, the
model he sets for us.
Hosea 9: 1 � �Rejoice not, Israel, exultingly, as
the peoples; for you have gone a whoring from your
God, you have loved harlot's hire upon every corn-
floor. 11: 7 Yea, my people are bent upon backsliding
from me: though they call them to the Most High,
none at all exalts [him]. 8 � How shall I give you
over, Ephraim? [how] shall I deliver you up, Israel?
how shall I make you as Admah? [how] shall I set you
as Zeboim? My heart is turned within me, my
repentings are kindled together. 9 I will not execute
the fierceness of mine anger . . . 14:1 � O Israel,
return unto Jehovah your God; for you have fallen by
your iniquity. 2 Take with you words, and turn to
Jehovah; say unto him, Forgive all iniquity, and
receive [us] graciously; so will we render the calves of
our lips. . . . neither will we say any more to the work
of our hands, [You are] our God; because in you the
fatherless finds mercy. 4 � I will heal their
backsliding, I will love them freely; for mine anger is
turned away from him. 5 I will be as the dew unto
Israel: he shall blossom as the lily, and cast forth his
roots as Lebanon. . . . 7 They shall return and sit
under his shadow; they shall revive [as] corn, and
blossom as the vine: . . . 9 Who is wise, and he shall
understand these things? intelligent, and he shall
know them? For the ways of Jehovah are right, and
the just shall walk in them; but the transgressors shall
fall therein.�
Gen. 2:24 �Therefore shall a man leave his
father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife;
and they shall be one flesh.>104. For the permanence
of the relationship the focus is on the word "cleave"
which in the Hebrew means "cling or adhere; . . .
abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard
after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake,
pursue hard, stick, take.">105. Thayer says it means
"to glue upon, glue to">106. If God commands the
husband to conduct himself in this manner towards
his wife, then he had better do it if he wants a good
future with God, because to disobey would be
death>176 . Being under this command would
certainly bind a man to his wife as long as both lived.
[Footnotes>104. King James Version. The Holy
Scriptures According to the Masoretic Text agrees with the
meaning. >105. Strong''s Exhaustive Concordance. >106.
Greek English Lexicon of the New
Testament; Joseph
Henry Thayer, D.D.; American Book Co., New York,
1889 . >176 Rom. 1:28-32; 1 Cor. 5:5-11;
11:30,31,32.]
The Jewish Septuagint (third century B.C.) for Gen.
2:24 uses the same word for "cleave" that Jesus uses in Matt.
19:5. The word used for cleave in the LXX's Gen. 2:24 and
Jesus' Matt. 19:5 means the following: 1. According to
Thayer --- "to join one's self to closely, cleave to, stick
to"; and 2. According to Arndt & Gingrich ---"adhere closely
to, be faithfully devoted to, join �tini� someone">107 . The
Greek tense in both is future indicative passive which
means that this is what they shall have themselves
doing in the future on a regular basis. You say that it is not a
command? Jesus seems to differ with you both in Malachi 2,
where He says the husband who breaks his marital
agreement with his wife is under His wrath, and in
Matt 19:6 where Jesus says "So then, they are no longer two
but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man
must not separate." Based on the truth of Ephes. 1:11 (He
"works all things according to the counsel of His own will")
and Rom. 13:1-3 ("For there is no power but of God; the
authorities that be are ordained by God"), every legal and
moral marriage is ordained or allowed by God and takes
place under His control, so indeed God has joined
them. That's why we can trust God with 1 Cor. 7:17-
28, that we are to remain married to the person we
are married to when we are saved. So in this case,
even 1 Cor. 7 speaks of the binding nature of
marriage. So Jesus makes binding >177 the
cleaving>178 and the one flesh experience that we
know as marriage.
[Footnotes:{>.{n107 A GREEK-ENGLISH LEXICON OF THE
NEW TESTAMENT and Other Early Christian Literature
; By W.F.Arndt & F. W. Gingric. >177 (Mt. 19:6).
>178 (Mt. 19:5).]
What do the experts say? There is no controversy that
marriages, divorces, and remarriages that happened before
one was saved are not binding on the new convert to Christ.
The case of the one who is saved while married to an
unsaved person has some controversy>179 . But what is the
Word for those Christians who have married, divorced and
remarried all since they were genuinely and fruitfully saved
and walking in loving obedience to the Savior? Consider
the following:
[Footnote: >179 1 Corinth. 7:12,13,14,15]
�In the present modern tangle of marriage, divorce,
and remarriage the Christian Church, in dealing with
converts and repentant members, is often
compelled to accept the situation as it is.�>108
[Footnote: >..n108 The New Bible Dictionary, J.D.
Douglas Ph.D. p..790.]
�In the NT divorce seems to be forbidden absolutely. .
Our Lord teaches that the OT permission was a
concession to a low moral standard, and was opposed
to the ideal of marriage as an inseparable union of
body and soul. . . But remarriage also closes the door
to reconciliation, which on Christian principles ought
always to be possible; cf. the teaching of Hosea and
Jer. 3; Hermas [2nd Cent. AD] (Mand. iv.1) allows no
re-marriage, and lays great stress on the taking back
of a repentant wife.�>109
[Footnote: >..n109 HASTINGS DICTIONARY OF THE
BIBLE; p. 586.]
�To such a degree is that marriage compact entered
upon a matter of a certain sacrament, that it is not
made void even by separation itself, since, so long as
her husband lives, even by whom she hath been left,
she commits adultery, in case she be married to
another: and he who hath left her, is the cause of this
evil. . . Seeing that the compact of marriage is not
done away by divorce intervening; so that they
continue wedded persons one to another, even after
separation; and commit adultery with those, with
whom they shall be joined, even after their own
divorce, either the woman with a man, or the man
with a woman. . . But a marriage once for all entered
upon in the City of our god, where, even from the first
union of the two, the man and the woman, marriage
bears a certain sacramental character, can no way be
dissolved but by the death of one of them. . .
Therefore the good of marriage throughout all nations
and all men stands in the occasion of begetting, and
faith of chastity: but, so far as pertains unto the
People of God, also in the sanctity of the sacrament,
by reason of which it is unlawful for one who leaves
here husband, even when she has been put away, to
be married to another, so long as her husband lives,
no not even for the sake of bearing children: . . . not
even where that very thing, wherefore it takes place,
follows not, is the marriage bond loosed, save by the
death of the husband or wife.�>75
[Footnote: >. 75 St. Augustin: On The Trinity; pp. 402,
406, 412. ]
Since the only terms of divorce are given in Deut
24:1-4 which was superseded by Matt. 19:1-15 and 1 Cor.
7:10-15,39, it is clear that marriage is a life long relationship
based on the covenants of the couple and on God's
command not to be put asunder or put asunder the
relationship. What about Deut. 24:1-5? Does it set some
kind of precedent or establish some kind of
principle that would loose a godly couple from the
binding nature of their relationship before God?
Deut. 23:13 = �and you shall have a trowel on
your girdle; and it shall come to pass when you would
relieve yourself abroad, that you shall dig with it, and shall
bring back the earth and cover your {nuisance}. 14 Because
the Lord your God walks in your camp to deliver you . . . and
your camp shall be holy, and there shall not appear in
you A {DISGRACEFUL THING}>111. , and so he shall
turn away from you. . . �
[Footnote: >111. {caps mine}; same Hebrew words in
both Dt. 23:14 as in Dt 24:3 in LXX.]
Deut. 24:3= �And if any one should take a wife,
and should dwell with her, then it shall come to pass
if she should not have found favour before him,
because he has found some {UNBECOMING THING}
>111. in her, that he shall write for her a bill of
divorcement and give it into her hands, and he shall
send her away out of his house. 4. And if she should
go away and be married to another man; 5. and the
last husband should hate her, and write for her a bill
of divorcement; and should give it into her hands, and
send her away out of his house, and the last husband
should die, who took here to himself for a wife; 6. the
former husband who sent her away shall not be able
to return and take her to himself for a wife, after she
has been defiled; because it is an abomination before
the Lord your God, and you shall not defile the land
which the Lord thy God gives you to inherit.�>112.
[Old English updated]
[Footnote: *>111. ditto: caps mine; same Hebrew words
in both Dt. 23:14 as in Dt 24:3 in LXX. >112. Please
see The Septuagint Version; 1972; Zondervan
Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Mich.]
Deut. 23:15. . . � that He see no {UNSEEMLY
THING}>113. in thee, and turn away from thee.� Deut.
24:1-4 . . . �because he hath found some
{UNSEEMLY>114. THING}>115. in her, . . .�>116.
[Footnote: (>113. caps mine; same Hebrew word in
Deut 23:15 as in Deut 24:1. >114. "unseemly thing"
= American Standard Version; Thomas Nelson; 1901.
>115. {caps mine}; same Hebrew word in Deut 23:15
as in Deut 24:1. >116. The Holy Scriptures
According to the Masoretic Text]
Deut. 23:14 . . . �He must not see anything
{INDECENT}>117. among you lest He turn away from
you. . .� Deut. 24:1-4 . . . �he has found some
{INDECENCY}>118. in her. . �>119.
[Footnote: >117. {caps} mine; same Hebrew word in
Deut 23:14 as in Deut 24:1. >118. ditto:{caps} mine;
same Hebrew word in Deut 23:14 as in Deut
24:1. . . >119. Holy Bible New American Standard;
1977.]
Thank God for the originals so that we can see
that the Hebrew word used in Deut 23 is the same as
used in Deut. 24, and that it apparently means
anything deemed or decreed by God to be unholy, a
sin or an abomination. In Deut 23 that includes
human feces and excrement which God made know by
law to His people that it was unclean and defiling in
His eyes. Using the Word the way the Spirit used the
Word would enable us to understand that whatever
the husband found in the wife that was "unseemly" or
"indecent", was something expressly and explicitly
declared by God to be unholy and defiling in His
Word. This included any of the bodily ailments that
resulted in an unnatural excretion or flow of bodily
fluids, things like leprosy, running
sores, and figurative things that made you unholy like
idolatry and breaking the commandments of God through
Moses.
The word rendered "indecency" in the phrase "he has
found some indecency" means something expressly and
explicitly declared by God to be unholy and defiling in His
Word, including any of the bodily ailments that resulted in
an unnatural excretion or flow of bodily fluids, things
like leprosy, running sores, and figurative things that made
you unholy like idolatry and breaking the commandments of
God through Moses. The word rendered "defiled" in the
phrase " not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since
she has been defiled" is used by God of sexual
defilement>180 , spiritual defilement >181 defilement by
death or bodily emissions>182 .
[Footnote: >180 (Gen. 34:5,13; Lev. 18:24; Num. 5:13-
29). >181 (Lev. 19:31; Ezek. 22:4; 23:7). >182
(Lev. 15:32; 21:1-3).]
This means that the "indecency" or "unseemliness"
that led Benhadad to divorce Lohana could be the same
"defilement" that makes the situation so that he cannot
remarry her. Specifically, Lohana could either have been an
unbelieving Jewess or a Jewess with an abnormal
external flow of bodily fluids, both of which were unseemly,
unholy and indecent according to the Sinai Law of Moses. If
Lohana was divorced by Benhadad for this unholy
indecency, remarried Abdullah while still unholy and
indecent and then divorced again or widowed by Abdullah--
---still all the while an unbelieving Jewess or a Jewess with
the abnormal external flow of bodily fluids. The
problem that led Benhadad to divorce Lohana is still
her problem after the remarriage and the divorce, a problem
that makes her and marriage to her unholy, unseemly
and/or indecent according to the Law of Moses.
For him to remarry her would be the fulfillment of
Prov. 26:11 and 2 Pt. 2:22 where " . . . 'A dog returns to his
own vomit', and, 'a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in
the mire.'". This is not and would not be acceptable to God.
This fits well with the after-Moses OT precedents found in
Ezra and Nehemiah where God commanded that the
people divorce those whom they disobeyed Him to
marry, who were idolaters and lived in disobedience
to His Word, people with whom God had forbidden
marriage. For a Jew to have remarried one of these
wives would have been the unholiness of flagrant
disobedience. That the disqualifying thing in these
wives was their spiritual heritage rather than their
race is obvious by the fact that God did not forbid
marriage to believing Egyptians (Joseph), Philistines
(Samson), Syrians, Assyrians or Ethiopian Cushites
(Moses), etc.
The same principles work in the Church of today. We
know that it is unholy and therefore unacceptable to marry a
"saint" living in sin>183 , or to marry an unbeliever>184 .
Now if I married someone who called herself a believer, but
because of problems that surfaced after the wedding we had
to do Matt. 18:15-17-20 and she turned out to be a
"heathen", I would have had grounds to divorce her in OT
times according to Deut 24, but now under the Law of Christ
in 1 Cor. 7: 12-15 I am not free to divorce her unless
she is unwilling to live with me or has left me. If she
became unwilling to live with me and then left me, I
would be free from her maritally and free to remarry.
For me to remarry her still in her "heathen"
unholiness/defilement would be a sin in violation of
the Scriptures120 , and an abomination to God.
[Footnote: >183 1 Cor. 5; 2 Thess. 3:6-14; 2 Tim. 3:5; 1
Tim.6:5. >184 (2 Cor. 6:14-7:1). >.n120 Please
see Appendix Five.]
If you can accept the preceding understanding of
Deut. 23 & 24, a woman divorced for unholiness is not to be
taken back by her husband in her unholiness, then there is
no problem from these passages for a godly brother
to remarry his godly wife who, in ignorance or in a
snare by the enemy >185, divorced him or was divorced by
him and had gone on and married someone else.
[Footnote: >185 2 Tim. 2:24-26; Gal. 6:1; 1 Cor. 5:5-11 +
2 Cor 2).]
If you understand the unholy indecency of the
woman in Deut. 24 to be some specific violation of God's Law
of Moses, an unholy indecency which caused her to be
divorced and forbids her former husband from remarrying
her because such a remarriage would violate some
specific Law of Moses ----- then there is no application of
this passage to two born again and godly saints today who, in
ignorance or in a snare by the enemy>186 , were divorced
and had gone on and remarried others, but now,
acknowledging the Word of God that they are bound
as husband and wife for life (1 Cor. 7 & Rm. 7), want
to remarry in repentance.
[Footnote: >186 2 Tim. 2:24-26; Gal. 6:1; 1 Cor. 5:5-11 +
2 Cor 2)]
Some Christians say you �cannot go back, once you�ve
remarried�>187 . They cite Deuteronomy 24:1-4 as
their proof text. First of all, we know that we are not
under that command according to Ephesians
2:14,15,16; Colossians 2:13-17 and Acts 15. Secondly,
it cannot be argued that it is a "higher-than-the-law-
of-Moses" principle of defilement and uncleanness.
Yes God did keep the king from defiling Abraham's
Sarah. But the same God blessed the marriage of the
very defiled harlot Rahab so that she became a direct
ancestor of both King David and Jesus. His Word in
Deut. 24:1-4 is followed by his Word in Deut. 25:5-10
that the defiled-by-former-husbands widows were to
be married to their brother-in-laws etc>. Ruth, a
defiled-by-former-husband widow, was blessed in
her marriage with Boaz so that she also became a
direct ancestor of King David and Jesus. Jesus
commands the church defiled-by-former-husband
widows to remarry in the Lord in 1 Timothy 5.
[Footnote: >187 Deut. 24:1-4; Matt. 5:17-20; Luke
16:17.
No where in the Word of God does it say that your
remarriage in adultery looses you from God�s binding
Christian-you to your Christian mate for life>188. Jesus
plainly states that Deut. 24:1-4 was given because of the
hardness of their hearts>189 not because it was the
best thing to do. Christians have been given �new hearts�
and were released from Deut. 24:1-4 by the Lord in Ephes.
2:14,15 and Colos.2:13,14. So what do Christian-you
do about the Christian mate that Christian-you
divorced and you married another in adultery>190 ,
or about your Christian mate who divorced Christian-
you and then married another in adultery>191 ?
[Footnote: >188. Romans 7:1-5; 1 Corinth. 7:3-11,39.
>189 (Matt. 19:8). >190 Mark 10:11,12; Luke
16:18; 1 Cor. 7:10,11. >191 Mark 10:11,12; Luke
16:18; 1 Cor. 7:10,11.]
While still being bound to your Christian mate, you
may have to separate from, or perhaps even divorce, your
Christian mate as part of the Church�s discipline of your
�Christian� mate who is living in sin>192 Since the
purpose of Church discipline is to result in repentance
and reconcilia-tion>193 , the separation/divorce
should be seen as a temporary measure, unless the
Lord puts the sinning saint to �sleep� in death>194 ,
or turns out to be an unbeliever>195 If there is
repentance by your adulterous and remarried
Christian mate, should you be reconciled to your
repentant mate? Since you two are bound maritally
for life by the Lord, I would hope so. What does God
say? Because of John 8 and Eph. 2 and Colos. 2 we
don�t stone to death adulterers and adulteresses.
Because of 1 Corinth 7:10-15,39; and Romans 7:1-5
we don�t just walk away and disown our mates. In
the Church's Ecumenical Council, the African Code of
A.D. 419 stated that "It seemed good that according to
evangelical and apostolical discipline a man who had
been put away from his wife, and a woman put away
from her husband should not be married to another,
but so should remain, or else be reconciled the one to
the other. . .">121
[Footnote: >192 Romans 16:17;1 Corint. 5:9-11; Eph.
5:11; 2 Thess. 3:6-14;1Tim. 6:3-5; 2 Tim. 3:1-5; Matt.
18:15-20. >193 (2 Corinth 2 and 7). >194 1
Corinth. 5:4-8; 11:28-32. >195 Matthew 18:15-18.
>.n121 A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene
Fathers of The Christian Church,Vol. XIV; p. 493.]
King David took his wife Michal back after she had
been given in marriage to another, with God�s
blessing>.196. Some might say that he took her back
but wasn't intimate with her, as he did with the
wives/concubines that his son raped>197. That
doesn't seem to be the case with Michal because the
Holy Spirit made a point of the fact that He caused her
to be barren AFTER she had returned to David from
her other husband-in-adultery>.198 If he brought
Michal back but was not intimate with her there
would have been no point to God making her barren.
So apparently David was being intimate with Michal
after her adultery but God made sure she was barren
after her sin.
[Footnote: ~>.~196. 1 Sam. 25:44; 2 Sam. 3:13-16.
>197. 2 Sam 16:21,22; 19:5; 20:3. #>.#198. 1 Sam
25; 2 Sam 6:16-23.]
Hosea the prophet was told by God to marry an
unfaithful woman and then to take her back as wife
after she had been unfaithful to him. In Ezekiel 16
and 23 God presents Himself as a husband who takes
back his unfaithful wife. So there is a place for
reconciliation and reunion of two obedient believers
who are bound for life but who sinned by divorcing
and remarrying. There are grounds for leaving an
adulterous marriage and going back to the Christian
mate to whom you are bound for life.
So why the Word in Deut. 24:1-4 about not taking
back your ex-wife after she has remarried? Jesus tells
us that Deut. 24:1-4 was given because of the
hardness>199. of their hearts, not because it was
God's best for them. Jesus
overruled Deut. 24 and restored His Law that made
divorce itself just as much an abomination>200. as
the "abomination" of taking back your ex-wife after
she had been married to somebody else. Perhaps
Deut. 24 and it hardness-of-heart rule was a
temporary attempt by God to discourage divorce, at
least frivolous divorce. Whatever the reason, it
wasn't just a defilement issue, because the Deut. 25:5-
10; Rahab & Ruth 4; David & Michal, Hosea passages
make it clear that there is and was no sin or
defilement in marrying a woman who had been
"defiled" by her former husband (David and Abigail,
Ruth and Boaz) or some other man (Rahab the harlot)
before the current marriage.
[Footnote: >199. Matthew 19:1-19. ^>.^200. Malachi
2.]
The Holy Spirit did not restate or reinstate the
hardness-of-heart rule in the cases of 1 Tim. 5:10-14, or 1
Cor. 7:15, 39 or Romans 7:1-5. The only restrictions on
remarriage were that they be "in the Lord", which at least
means within the Lord's explicit will and marrying
someone who is in the Lord. Everything in John 8; Gal. 6:1;
Mat. 18:15-18; 2 Cor. ch. 2 and ch. 7; Hosea, Ezekiel etc. all
call for accepting back the repentant and believing
mate who fell in adultery and has heard Jesus say, "Go
and sin no more!"
XII. WHAT ABOUT THE HEALTH QUESTIONS
INVOLVED IN SUCH REUNIONS?
What if the saved mates want to reunite, acknowledging
their bound-for-life status before God, after they have
sinfully separated, been adulterous, divorced or remarried?
With so many sexually transmitted diseases (STD) out and
about today, it is a pressing question. What if the couple
who wish to reunite still have small or dependent children so
that they must make sure that at least one of them lives to
care for them?
The aim of my Web page is to submit for your consideration, controversial
and thought provoking files by a social activist and reformer on current
subjects and issues from an Anthropological and Judeo-Christian perspective.
If you are happy with our world's status quo then please read no further.
These cross cultural files by a cultural anthropologist are an attempt to deal
with real and contemporary life-issues within a Judeo-Christian context, no
matter what the reader's marital status, culture, status, race or nationality
might be. The only "culture" advocated and endorsed is the Judeo-Christian
culture, no love here for the status quo. The ultimate authority accepted
here is the God-breathed Word of God as found in the Old and New
Testaments of the Holy Bible. These are the subjects/titles available:
� Abortion, Malicious Bias, & Genocide (abortion.txt)
� Angels, Demons & Spirits (AngelsDemonsSpirits.txt; YouAndAngels)
� Biblical Insights on Sex, Morality &Pornography
(BiblcaLSexPornMorality)
� Black Families' Crisis (PlightOfBlkFem-Fam.txt; BlackFamResrcs+.txt;
Black.Family.Resrcs)
� Camelot, a Tale of Tragic Love ( A_Camelot_Dedication.txt)
� Cherishing Your Women (CherishYourWomen1.txt)
� Christian Divorce (Divorce_Remarriage.txt;
Divorce_&_Polygamy.html;
Christian_Divorce.txt; Christian_Divorce)
� Christians and the Tithe ( ChristianTithe.txt )
� Common Law &Informal Marriages (ComnlawInfrmlMarriage.txt)
� Crisis Resolution in the Unity of the Spirit (CrisisResolution.txt)
� Disciples and Their Suffering (Why_Disciples_Suffer.txt;
WhyBelieversSuffer.html)
� Divorce & Remarriage (Divorce_Remarriage.txt;
Divorce_&_Polygamy.html; Christian_Divorce.txt; Christian_Divorce)
� Easter Insights (Easter_Insights.txt; Easter_Insights)
� How and When to Marry (WhenHowMarry.txt)
� How to Survive Divorce (HowSurvive_Divorce.txt)
� Husband Wife Relations (HusbandWifeRelatnsMngny.txt;
Husband.Wife.Relatns)
� Husbands Rule Wives? (HusbandRuleWife.txt)
� Interracial/Interethnic Marriage (InterracialEthncMarrg.txt;
RacelessMarriage)
� Is Jesus Jehovah God? (IsJesusJehovahGod.txt)
� Keeping One's Word (KeepingOne'sWord.txt )
� Keys to Loving Unity in Families and Fellowships
(KeysMLovingUnity.txt;
Keys4LovingUnity.txt)
� The "Let" command of 1 Corinthians 7:9 (Let_Command.txt )
� Man's Need Of Woman (Man'sNeedOfWoman.txt; MenNeedWomen)
� The Marriage of the Godly Lasts Until Death Separates
(Divorce_&_Polygamy.html)
� Marital Intimacy Manual for Contributors (MrtlIntmcyMn4Cntrs.txt)
� Matchmaker Resources (MatchmakerResrcsInt)
� Me In Christ, What Does It All Mean Really? (WhatIAmInChrist1.txt)
� Me In This World, Why? (Why_Me_&_This_World.txt;
Why_Me_Now.txt; Why_Me_In_World.html)
� No Wedding Vows (NoWeddingVows.txt )
� Oaths, Swearings, Promises (OathsSwrngsPrmss.txt; MarriageOaths)
� Plight Of the Black Family (PlightOfBlkFem-Fam.txt)
� Plight Of the Black Female (PlightOfBlkFem-Fam.txt)
� Power Of Female Beauty (PowrOfFemBeauty.txt)
� Prayers for Loved Ones (Prayers4LuvdOnes.txt)
� Prisoner Abuse (PrisonerAbuse.txt)
� Quotes On Polygyny (QuotesOnPolygyny.txt )
� Racism, Nationalism and Bigotry (racsm.natnlsm.bigtry.txt)
� Safe sex, Fact or Myth? (safe_sex.txt)
� Seniors & Polygamy (senior_polygamy.txt)
� Sex and Dependent Singles ( Youths_Singles_Sex.txt;
UnderageSexBurning.txt)
� Song Of Solomon Part1 (SongOfSolomonPt1.txt)
� Spiritual Warfare (Spiritual_Warfare.txt)
� The Suffering of the Innocent, (Why_Disciples_Suffer.txt;
WhyBelieversSuffer.html)
� The Tithe & Christians (Tithe&Christians.txt)
� Truth vs Falsehoods (truth_vs_lies.txt)
� Underage Sexual Burning and 1 Corinth. 10:13 ( Youths_Singles_Sex.txt;
UnderageSexBurning.txt)
� Unequal Yokes, Interfaith Marriages (UnequalYokes.txt)
� Unplanned Polygyny, a Trail of Tears (UnplannedPolygyny2.Txt)
� Wedding Covenants (WeddingCovenants.txt)
� Who is Tyler? (WhoLTyler.txt)
� Why Only One Husband? (WhyOnly1Husbnd.txt)
� Why Do "Good" People Suffer? (Why_Disciples_Suffer.txt;
WhyBelieversSuffer.html)
� Why Would a Wife Share Her Husband? (WhyWifeShreHsbnd.txt)
� Polygamy Resources ( PolyResources2.txt)
� Polygamy, Divorce & Remarriage (Divorce_&_Polygamy.html;
Divorce_and_PolygamyPt1.html; Divorce_and_PolygamyPt2.html;
Divorce+PolygamyPt1.txt; Divorce+PolygamyPt2.txt)
� Polygamy and Christians Today (ChristianPolyToday.txt )
� Polygamy and Concubines in the Bible (PolygamyConcubines.txt)
� Polygamy and the Law (Legal_Polygamy.txt)
� Polygamy and the Reformation (reformationpoly.txt)
� Polygamy in a Nutshell (minipoly.txt, Polygyny_core.txt;
polyamory_unknown.html )
� Polygamy, Traditional Criticisms (objections2poly.txt)
� Polygamy's Transition from Old Testament to New Testament times
(Ot2NtDivRemPoly.txt)
� Polygamy, Morality and Pornography (PolyMoralityPorn76.txt;
polyandry)
� Polygamy's/Polygyny's Scriptures and Contexts (PolyScripsQuotes.txt;
PolygynyInScrips; Biblical_polygamy.html)
� Polygynous Families: Keys to Loving Unity in Polygyny (
KeysLovingUnity;
Keys2LovingUnity.html)
These files are available at:
Tyler, at
[email protected] or
[email protected]
or
[email protected]
http://www.etext.org/Religious.Texts/Polyamory
http://www.etext.org/Religious.texts/Polyamory
ftp: www.etext.org; User: Anonymous; Password: Your email add
http://www.mindspring.com/users/~oldservant
http://www.mindspring.com/~oldservant/
ftp.mindspring.com; User: Anonymous; Password: your email address;
Directory: /users/oldservant
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Troy/6916/
PLEASE DON'T BUY PRODUCTS MADE IN CHINA BECAUSE (1) THEY
SYSTEMATICALLY TORTURE AND KILL BORN-AGAIN BELIEVERS IN
CHRIST FOR THEIR FAITH, (2) THEY SYSTEMATICALLY EXECUTE
PRISONERS FOR NON CAPTIAL CRIMES TO HARVEST THEIR BODY
ORGANS FOR SALE ABROAD, (3) THEY FORCE MOTHERS/FAMILIES TO
ABORT ALL OF THEIR UNBORN INFANTS EXCEPT FOR ONE PER FAMILY,
AND FEMALE UNBORN INFANTS ARE THE MOST COMMON VICTIMS.
PLEASE DON'T BUY PRODUCTS MADE IN SUDAN, ESPECIALLY BY NOT
BUYING SOFT DRINKS AND JUICE DRINKS THAT CONTAIN ESTER GUM
ROSIN OR ESTER OF WOOD ROSIN, BECAUSE THEY ARE
SYSTEMATICALLY TORTURING, RAPING, ENSLAVING AND KILLING
SUDANESE BELIEVERS IN CHRIST SOLELY BECAUSE OF THEIR FAITH. Want to help?
go to www.fitw.com.
PLEASE DON'T BUY DISNEY AND DISNEYLAND PRODUCTS AND
FACILITIES BECAUSE OF THE ANTICHRISTIAN AND ANTIGOD
PRODUCTS, SHOWS AND MOVIES THEY ARE PUTTING OUT NOW.
