The Little Purple Notebook On How To Escape From This Universe
                       Copyleft � 1998 by Maximilian J. Sandor, Ph.D.
                   Subscription Information: Maria Loren [email protected]
                        Website: http://transmillennium.net/pnohteftu/



              The Holy Book of True Veight (HBTV)

Note from the compiler:

This document stems from the Virago-2000 collection, which in many aspects
can be seen as a template for the dreaded Volumes of Pnohteftu. It has
purportedly been an addendum to the 'Logs of JD Flora'. The latter
assertion, however, could never be confirmed with certainty.

In any case, the Holy Book Of Veight (HBV) appeared about three centuries
from now for the first time in several major time lines. It has been
outlawed for at least three and a half centuries during the Enginist
Regime.

Until then, the Victorinfinists violently prosecuted what they called
infringements on their Holy Rights.

At this point everywhere in time, the so-called Time Police is still
investigating in how exactly the relics now widely known as the "Holy
Veight Can" and the "Chevrolet V8 2.6L Engine Service Manual" could
possibly
survive the cleansings during the Great Culture Revolution of the years
2164-2173.

It is in the future interest of the reader and all his or her loved ones,
that the reader is taking a vow first.

Therefore, prior to viewing the Holy Book of True Veight, the following
solemn pledge and the promise to not misuse this information in any way is
required in front of two (2) witnesses:

(The page containing this sensitive data will not be shown unless ALL THREE
buttons (reader and two witnesses) have been pushed.)

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                                  Pledge

Before proceeding to view the Holy Book of True Veight (HBTV), I solemnly
swear that:


  * I am over eight (8) years old.
  * I never had and will never ever have any problems with veight, V, 8,
    V8, or V-8.
  * I firmly uphold that V stands for Victory and 8 stands for Infinity
    and that any other interpretation is the work of the Devil.
  * I never had and will never ever have any affiliation with persons or
    groups who are wrongly and falsely claiming that V-8 would have
    anything to do with engines, vehicles, or non-vegetable oils or
    liquids of any kind.
  * I pledge to fight with all available means any person or group who
    propagates or endorses the evil lie that cans made from aluminum or
    any other metal could ever be filled with a liquid that then would
    somehow burn. I fully realize the insanity and falsehood of claims to
    the  effect that such an unholy and profoundly evil desacration of
    holy cylinders could     ever possibly be used to move a vehicle or
    anything else for that matter.
  * I shall always Shake Before Serving, whether it is serving the
    Almighty, or any person, group, association, or nation. Because the
    Almighty Himself hath commanded it on the Holy Can.
  * Furthermore, by my life, I pledge to always PROMPTLY refrigerate and
    never doubt any Holy Nutrition Facts,  as I recognize and affirm
    hereby at this day, before two witnesses, that there can be no Facts
    other than the Holy Nutrition Facts of Veight.
  * I shall defend with my life the Holy Relic of the Veight Can, erected
    and preserved by the Almighty in ancient times at the lost city of
    Camden in the forgotten country of Njusa.
  * I swear allegance to the Almighty who has promised us 'Satisfaction
    Guaranteed' as written on the Holy Veight Can that He Himself hath
    given onto our  ancestors.
  * I pledge to always Recycle and to Redeem Receipt as He Himself hath
    commanded us unworthy Earthlings.
  * I fully realize and understand the truth of the word of the Almighty
    and for any questions or comments I shall call the Holy Number
    1-800-871-0988  eighthundred or more times and shall wait patiently
    until the Almighty Himself shall give me answers.
  * Because He is the Natural Source of Alpha, Beta, Carotine, and Omega,
    and Everything that ever was.
  * As He hath his commands inscribed on the Holy Can forever.

                             So Be It. Amen!

 Finally, before clicking the buttons, both witnesses and the pledging
party must speak together the Holy Prayer of the Veight Can THREE (3)
times:
                             "Your Daily Values
                            May Be Higher or Lower
                                 Depending On
                             Your Calorie Needs.
                                    Amen."

                   [Image]            [Image]         [Image]



[Note: ALL buttons have to be pushed at the same time in order to be able
to view the Sacred Document. You may need the new ParaJava Version 21.05
with PassiveZ to do this.]




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              Copyleft � 1998 by Maximilian J. Sandor, Ph.D.

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