COLLECTED POEMS:  LOST LOVE
[Rating: Mature Adults]


GOODBYE

Goodbye can be said
In so many ways,
From the heart and soul,
Gentle, never cold.

Goodbye is a permanent sound,
Like that of a dying sun,
Burning down into a shadowy ground.

Leaving is a step toward the dark,
Parting, a sad sob below the stars.

Goodbye is the end,
As final as the black descent
Into emptiness.

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WINTER

The wind was blowing,
Blowing all around,
And dry leaves were falling,
Falling on the ground.

You were walking,
Walking far, far away
From my open arms.

The wind was gusting,
Swirling across the land,
Bringing colder weather,
A promised deep freeze.

You were saying,
Saying so patiently,
You couldn't stay,
You had, just had to go away.

The wind swept over me;
I shivered, all alone --
Frozen like winter snow.

*********************************************************

BLUE MOOD

The soft fog in my mind
Wraps warmly like wine,
Flying high, flying low,
Thoughts of you
Possess my soul.

Where oh where
Are you, my love?
Free to be --
A pauper, a king,
Grandstanding --
Or lying so low
Like my spiritual cold?

Please let go --
I can't sing the note
Of sadness and sorrow
Beyond tomorrow.

Please --
End the blue mood
Smothering my heart,
So deep, lost in deadness.

Let go --
I beg,
I plead,

Blue mood,
  Be gone!

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BROKEN DREAM

When starry sights light
 The night skies,
When sunshine streams
 Into daylight dreams,
When rising noontides
 Come ashore in a roar,
When a field of daisies
 Beckon from a misty valley,
When your blue eyes
 Look into a bleeding sunset,
Do you remember me
And what could have been?

When I see a full moon
 Cast deep shadowlines
Through naked treelimbs,
 My cries are sharp with pain,
Like hearing fragile glass break,
 And it shatters my soul
Reminding me of you
And our broken dream.

*********************************************************

EVER THINK OF ME?

Do you ever think of me --
On a rain-drenched day,
When yesterday's moon-eyed dreams
Are buried beneath silent screams?

Do you ever think of me --
And how we touched bright love-stars,
Felt fair skies in universal mysteries,
Wished on a slippery tear-stain,
And took the path of least resistance?

Do you ever think of me?
 Or am I lost
To that poignant pain
 Of the past?

*******************************************************

LOSS

Nights of black despair,
Alone, thoughts of you
Ink-stained on pages --
My heart bleeding
In black-and-white
For one who
Could never be mine.

Poems written of sadness,
Teardrops on blank pages.
Between lines, your face
Haunts like a ghost
From the past.

Days of glaring emptiness,
Remembering how our love
Caught me in a grasp
Of helplessness:
A love that was
Never meant to be:
 You and me.

*******************************************************

HEARTACHE

Your anguished face is
Carved upon a timeless landscape,
Like millions of stars in space,
Etched forever in my heart,
Never to be erased --
 I know.

So why this ache
That begs for your touch,
Like cosmic creation
Crying to be born?

************************************************************

WITHERED WITH TIME

What was your name?
My memory fades
Like a pale flower
Grown dim without sun
Or rain.
Withered as a wilted rose,
I ask,
What was your name?


*************************************************************

BACKWARD MIRROR

I see clear memory
In the backward mirror
Of my mind --
But I do not cry,
 Only sigh.

A long way now
From that melancholy
Of our tearful history.

I am stronger, yes,
But somehow lost
Without us.

***********************************************************

FOR ALL TIME

All the others,
Faceless, nameless,
Before and after
 You.

They were pale shadows,
Blank white pages,
Empty flower vases,
Petals scattered and lost,
Before and after
 You.

Only your sharp features,
Your crystal blue eyes,
Your lanky frame, your husky voice,
Are vivid and real forever
In my memory:
 You.

Those other would-be lovers,
Delirious creatures doomed by fate;
They were too early or too late,
And fade into forgotten dreams.

All the others exit,
But my love
 You remain
   For all time.

******************************************************

SOMEWHERE

Somewhere you sail
Through life in a frail
Boat of dreams --
A sad, sad realm
Fueled by addictive,
Drug-induced madness.

I know you hide
Behind a disguise --
Those injected lies
Smoothly roll off your lips,
And enhance your appeal.

But oh my lost love,
When I awoke
To the truth --
I fell to earth
In a crush of distrust,
And I knew you
As a dream demon,
Spinning yarns
Through those distant
Times of nothingness.

Oh my darling,
You live in a land severly
Restricted by chemical dependence.
But I still miss
Your magnetic charisma,
For it kept me above
Mundane reality.

****************************************************

OLD LOVER

Although I was young,
And you were older --
I still grew
To be closer to you
Than a heartbeat.

Don't you see
Wherever you live,
I am in you yet?

Oh, the years
Grow longer,
And still the tears
For you
Are more dear
Than what is here.

Please, my old lover,
Remember me sometimes:
Just for a second,
Just for a moment...

Till death do us part.

************************************************

BLUE EYES

Blue eyes, blue eyes,
How I cry
 For you!

All these tears,
All these years!

Oh blue eyes
How I cry
 For you!

The sadness
In those blue eyes
Hurts me deeply still!

Oh blue eyes
I still yearn
 For you...

And wish you were near
Even after all these years!

********************************************************

LONELY

The first thought
When I awoke
Was often of you.

I knew you were
Somewhere --
God knows you
Live in my soul!

Oh!
I'm still so lonely,
Only for you.

**********************************************************

TRUE HEARTS

There were days
I never knew
If you
Were dead or alive.

But you know
I always thought of you.

In deep, quiet midnight,
Or frosty morning light --
I stared out windows,
And I still wanted you.

Oh, don't you know
Wherever you are
I am there too:
True hearts never part.

*********************************************************

ENDLESS MEMORY

All you were to me
Has gone into a lost dream.

All you gave of love
Has disappeared into a fog.

All those spiritual ecstasies
You promised were true
Are now dying in a cold tomb.

Years of emptiness after you
Claimed my life
And laid waste to my soul.

All you promised,
All you meant to do,
It never came true.

But all the same,
I still can't help loving you
Somewhere in my endless memory.

*********************************************************

LOST LOVE

As I stare into sunspun shadows,
My heart tries to deny the memory --
For so, so long I've been alone,
And all I've done to forget you,
Has not erased your presence.

Lost love sounds hopeless,
But in my sunspun world
Of happy-colored daydreams
I can see we never part --
Someplace you yet live and love,
But here in my heart
 You never leave,
And I hold you close dear
In my sunspun home of dreams.

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Filed Jan. 1st, 1997

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