� Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter #0083 �

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� Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter #0083 �
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� Date Released : [09/03/92] Author: Diabolic Phantom �
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� Proper Theft Techniques. �
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Theft..when done properly with caution and planning can become
very prosperous, and enjoyable. For years now I have studied the
fine art of theft, started out with pieces of candy at the corner
store, and have worked my way up to breaking into top of the line
security systems at large corperations. Now I will describe some
of my techniques with you.

First of all your going to want to start out close to the
bottom, not so close that the most you get is a box of NeRD CaNDY,
but so you can get something of value with out getting yourself put
away in PRiZ0N for 20 Yearz. Cars are good targets for beginning
thiefs, or even experienced ones looking for some quick easy CA$H.

CARZ - First I'll give you a little Statistic that I learned
over my short life time, 17% of Americans leave there keys in there
cars. Now your saying, "YoU WaNT Me To STeaL aN AuToMoBiLe FoR My
FiRST R0BBeRie?". No, what that statistic means for you is that
17% of cars are unlocked so the bastards can get in to get thier
keys to start the damn car and go to their Bitchin desk job. Now,
there are a few ways to pick cars out that your going to rob.
1. Check to see if the doors unlocked
a. If an Alarm goes off, take off and don't come
back to that subdivision for atleast 2 nights
b. If the door opens with no prob check inside
for Radar Detectors, Radios, or anything of
value. Also check the glove compartment, if
its lock bust the damn thing open cuz chances
are someone's hiding something in it.
c. If the door doesn't open, move on d0oDe,there
are BiLL0N$ of carz on this little planet of
ours! Thats the beauty of it!
2. Look inside the cars with a Flashlight
a. If you see something of interest follow these
steps
- See if the doors unlocked
- If it is go in and get what you want
- If it isn't break the damn window then
take what you want and run
b. If you see nothing of interest move on.
When you do this walk to a near by neighbor hood, or drive to one..
and park about 2 streets from the nearest street your going to hit,
so if you run into trouble you can run to your automobile and get
out of there.

Now thats how you get shit outta cars, nice and easy right?
right! If thats just WAY to lame for you and your some kinda
Psycho like I am, just open unlocked doors and look under the visor
for keys and drive it to your nearest CRiMe City, mine being
DETROiT <Its a good little city, really, it is> and sell it to some
dumb nig. Anyways, enough cars...lets move on. Ok, you've robbed
a few cars, made some money..and you now need harder jobs that will
get you more money and get more adrenalin pumpin. Lets move on to
delivery trucks.

Delivery Trucks - Most DTS<Delivery Trucks> are parked behind
the buildings that they deliver to inbetween jobs. They are usually
locked with a simple Master Key Lock. Theres one main way to get
into one....thats to get some of those large ass 3ft hedge clipper
things. What you want to do is find a Electronic place and hope the
truck came in late that day and they didn't have time to unload it.
1. Clip the lock with them hedge things and open the
Cargo door.
a. If theres nothing in it too bad, drive away
and find another one.
2. If theres something in it start grabing shit and
loading it into your trunk. If the truck is in an
area where noone can see it, take your time and read
the boxes to find the expensive shit, if your in a
open area just load the stuff in as quick as possible
and close the truck when your done so you can come
back later if the first trip was real sucsesful.
If you get some nice stuff make a list and logon as a bogus handle
to a local BBS and post the list and tell the people to email you
if they want any of the shit you got.

Well, thats an easy way to get yourself started...don't want
to go into anything like robbing large corperations or you leeches
will take all my ideas and they'll start getting smart and fixing
the bugs in their systems. Well I hope you all prosper from this
and get busted and go to jail so I can laugh in your faces. Just
remember a few things and you can keep your ugly ass safe:
- Travel in groups of 3, and make sure you don't get seen by
your car while steeling somthing so no one can read your
License plate.
- Use some sort of Communication. Hand Held CBs are 60-70 bux
at Radio Shack and they come in VERY handy...
- Groups of 3 are perfect. 1 Stays in the car/looks out
2 Go to the point of robbery
- If something looks too easy it probably is.
- Better being safe then sorry.
- Don't take any unneccisary chances.

You and your partners WILL argue alot planning a large heist,
don't get pissed off and run out...settle the argument and move on.
Plan just about anything and everything and expect anything. And
have your allibies worked out if you get caught. Later all...

Let me get these little greets in -
Blacktop - Hell w/the dog, that battle at Chads was point
less, we gotta get the gang (If you want to
call it that) back together, that plan we were
discussing...we gotta do it man.
Stealth - The most sneaky bastard I know.
Phantom - "I'm not worthy!", you are the theft god! <g>

And fuck you all - I know my speleng sucks!

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