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�                Vaginal and Anal Secretions Newsletter #0083                 �
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�          Date Released : [09/03/92]       Author: Diabolic Phantom          �
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�                          Proper Theft Techniques.                           �
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         Theft..when done properly with caution and planning can become
    very prosperous,  and enjoyable.   For years now I have studied the
    fine art of theft,  started out with pieces of  candy at the corner
    store,  and have worked my way up to  breaking into top of the line
    security systems at  large corperations.   Now I will describe some
    of my techniques with you.

         First  of all your  going to want  to start  out close  to the
    bottom,  not so close that the most you get is a box of NeRD CaNDY,
    but so you can get something of value with out getting yourself put
    away in PRiZ0N for 20 Yearz.  Cars are good  targets for  beginning
    thiefs, or even experienced ones  looking for some quick easy CA$H.

         CARZ - First I'll  give you a little  Statistic that I learned
    over my short life time, 17% of Americans leave there keys in there
    cars.  Now your saying,  "YoU WaNT Me To STeaL aN AuToMoBiLe FoR My
    FiRST R0BBeRie?".  No,  what that statistic  means for you  is that
    17% of cars are unlocked  so the bastards  can get in to  get thier
    keys to start the damn car and go to their Bitchin desk job.   Now,
    there are a few ways to pick cars out that your going to rob.
               1. Check to see if the doors unlocked
                       a. If an Alarm goes off, take off and don't come
                          back to that subdivision for atleast 2 nights
                       b. If the door  opens with no  prob check inside
                          for Radar Detectors,  Radios,  or anything of
                          value.  Also check the glove compartment,  if
                          its lock bust the damn thing open cuz chances
                          are someone's hiding something in it.
                       c. If the door doesn't open, move on d0oDe,there
                          are BiLL0N$ of carz on this little planet  of
                          ours!  Thats the beauty of it!
               2. Look inside the cars with a Flashlight
                       a. If you see something of interest follow these
                          steps
                               - See if the doors unlocked
                               - If it is go in and get what you want
                               - If it isn't break the damn window then
                                 take what you want and run
                       b. If you see nothing of interest move on.
    When you do this walk to a near by neighbor hood, or drive to one..
    and park about 2 streets from the nearest street your going to hit,
    so if you run  into trouble you can run to your automobile and  get
    out of there.

         Now thats how you get shit  outta cars,  nice and  easy right?
    right!  If  thats  just WAY  to lame  for you  and  your some kinda
    Psycho like I am, just open unlocked doors and look under the visor
    for keys  and drive  it to  your  nearest  CRiMe City,  mine  being
    DETROiT <Its a good little city, really, it is> and sell it to some
    dumb nig.  Anyways, enough cars...lets move on.  Ok,  you've robbed
    a few cars, made some money..and you now need harder jobs that will
    get you more money and get more adrenalin pumpin.   Lets move on to
    delivery trucks.

         Delivery Trucks - Most DTS<Delivery Trucks> are parked  behind
    the buildings that they deliver to inbetween jobs. They are usually
    locked with a simple Master Key Lock.   Theres one main way  to get
    into one....thats to get some of those large ass 3ft hedge  clipper
    things. What you want to do is find a Electronic place and hope the
    truck came in late that day and they didn't have time to unload it.
               1. Clip  the  lock with them  hedge things  and open the
                  Cargo door.
                       a. If theres nothing in it too bad,  drive  away
                          and find another one.
               2. If  theres  something  in  it  start grabing shit and
                  loading it into your trunk.   If the truck is  in  an
                  area where noone can see it,  take your time and read
                  the boxes  to find the  expensive shit,  if your in a
                  open area just load the stuff in as quick as possible
                  and close the truck when  your done so  you can  come
                  back later if the first trip was real sucsesful.
    If you get some nice stuff make a list and logon as a bogus  handle
    to a local BBS and post  the list and tell the people to  email you
    if they want any of the shit you got.

         Well, thats an easy way to get  yourself started...don't  want
    to go into anything like robbing large corperations or you  leeches
    will take all my ideas  and they'll start getting  smart and fixing
    the bugs in their systems.   Well I hope you all  prosper from this
    and get busted and go to jail so I  can laugh in your faces.   Just
    remember a few things and you can keep your ugly ass safe:
         - Travel in groups of 3, and make  sure you don't  get seen by
           your car  while steeling  somthing so  no one can read  your
           License plate.
         - Use some sort of Communication.  Hand Held CBs are 60-70 bux
           at  Radio Shack and they  come in VERY  handy...
         - Groups of 3 are perfect.  1 Stays in the car/looks out
                                     2 Go to the point of robbery
         - If something looks too easy it probably is.
         - Better being safe then sorry.
         - Don't take any unneccisary chances.

         You and your partners WILL argue alot planning a large  heist,
    don't get pissed off and run out...settle the argument and move on.
    Plan just about anything and everything  and expect anything.   And
    have your allibies worked out if you get caught.  Later all...

         Let me get these little greets in -
          Blacktop - Hell w/the dog, that battle at Chads was point
                     less,  we gotta get the gang (If  you want  to
                     call it that) back together, that plan we were
                     discussing...we gotta do it man.
          Stealth  - The most sneaky bastard I know.
          Phantom  - "I'm not worthy!", you are the theft god! <g>

          And fuck you all - I know my speleng sucks!


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