Rattled romeos from Boston to Bangkok are flocking to doctors with
a horrifying new phobia - a bone-chilling fear that their manhood's is
shriveling up like a dried fig! "It sounds wild, but thousands of men
all over the world are suddenly scared to death that their penises are
shrinking on them and may just vanish into thin air," said Swedish
psychiatrist Dr. Stefan Dobler. "And they're trying all sorts of crazy
tricks to keep from losing it, too. I mean, these guys are hanging lead
weights on their genitals, streching their penises with ropes, everything
you can imagine. "It's a totally irrational thing, but it's turning other
wise responsible men into blithering idiots."
Dumbfounded docs say the teeny weeny peeny panic apparently originated
in the Far East, where the Chinese call it Shook Yong, or "disappearing
penis." From there, the wacky malady spread to Australia, Europe, and
America. "Nobody knows how the phobia started or why it reached such
epidemic proportions, but the victims seem to be mostly oversexed playboy
types, single guys who see themselves as real lady-killers," flabbergasted
French psychologist told reporters. "And some of them are so afraid of
losing their most prized possesion, they actually come into my office
holding onto it real tight so it won't get away."
"I've also seen guys who've put their penises in splints, and one
poor fellow who tied the other end of the cord to his neck. He said it
was awful uncomfortable - and more then a little embarrasing at times -
but he thought it was well worth it to save all that was dear to him."
Bewildered shrinks say the disappearing dinghy disease is so far out
they hardly know how to treat the affliction. "Most of these fellows
are the type who put undue importance on their sex lives," Dr. Dobler
said. "When they get it in their heads that their penis is shrinking,
it's going to take more than a few words of encouragement to convince
them it just ain't so."
(Thanks to the World Weekly News for this information!)
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