aH, wELCOME TO ANOTHER BITCHEN ISSUE OF vAs MAGAZINE! hA! fUCK yEAH!
i wOULD lIKE tO cOMMEND yOU oN yOUR cHOICE oF rEADING mATERIAL! tHE mAIN
fOCUS oF tHIS iSSUE wILL bE cREATIVE mETHODS oF tORTURE. i hOPE tHAT yOU
wILL eNJOY tHIS pUBLICATION.
fIRST oFF, i'D lIKE tO iNTRODUCE aN oRIGNAL tORTURE mETHOD oF mY oWN.
aS fAR aS i kNOW, nO oNE hAS tHOUGHT oF tHIS oNE bEFORE. tHIS iS oNE oF
tHE bEST mETHODS i hAVE eVER hEARD oF. tAKE yOUR vICTIM, hE hAS tO bE oF
mALE gENDER. cOULD bE a tRANSVESTITE i gUESS. aS lONG aS tHE vICTIM hAS
a sET oF bALLS. aNYWAYS, fIND A bUILDING tHAT iS aBOUT 2o fEET hIGH.
tHEN gET tHE sTRONGEST fISHING lINE yOU cAN fIND. 30LB. tEST oR aBOVE iS
uSUSALLY rEQUIRED. fIND a fIXATED oBJECT oN tHE rOOF oF tHIS bUILDING, aND
sECURELY fASTEN tHE fISHING lINE tO iT. tHEN, aTTACH a tHREE-pRONG fISHING
hOOK oN tHE eND oF tHE lINE. dROP tHE vICTIMS pANTS, aND aTTACH tHE hOOK
tO hIS sCROTUM. mAKE sURE tHE hOOK iS sECURELY fASTENED. tHIS sTEP sHOULD
cAUSE tHE vICTIM a fAIR aMOUNT oF pAIN. oH sHIT. bEFORE yOU aTTACH tHE
hOOK, mEASURE oUT tEN fEET oF lINE. tHEN aTTACH. tHEN yOU cAN pUSH tHE
vICTIM oFF tHE bUILDING. hE wILL fREE-fALL wITH nO pROBLEM fOR tHE fIRST
tEN fEET, aND tHEN hE wILL rUN ouT oF lINE. sOMETHING hAS tO gIVE. i
wOULD pUT mY mONEY oN hIS sACK! iF yOU fOLLOWED tHE aBOVE pROCEDURE
cORRECTLY, tHE vICTIM sHOULD bE dEAD, mINUS oNE sET oF nUTS. fOR aDDED
eFFECT, pUSH hIM iNTO a pOOL. gRANTED hE wILL lIVE, bUT hE wILL sEE hIS
sACK hANGING aBOVE hIM!
tHE sECOND mETHOD oF tORTURE iS qUITE sIMPLE. jUST tAKE A lONG sLIVER
oF gLASS, aND iNSERT iT iNTO tHE vICTIMS gENITAL aREA. fOR mALES, iN tHE
pENIS hOLE wORKS nICELY. fOR tHE bITCH iN yOUR lIFE, uP tHE vAGINA aLSO
wORKS. nOW, iF yOU hAVE aCCESS tO a wOOD sHOP, yOU aRE iN gREAT sHAPE.
hAVE yOU eVER hAD aN oRBITAL dISC sANDER rUN aCROSS yOUR bODY? i fIND tHAT
tAKING a sMALL pIECE oF sANDPAPER, aND pROCEEDING tO bRUSH tHE vICTIMS
tEETH wITH iT wORKS wELL. iF yOU hAVE a vICE iN tHE vICINTY, yOU cAN
cRUSH fINGERS aND tOES. iT iS aLSO aLWAYS nICE tO bOIL tHE vICTIMS sKIN
oFF, aND pUT sALT oN hIS fLESH. hE wILL pROBABLY thANK hIS lUCKY sTARS
fOR tHIS tYPE oF tREATMENT. yOU cAN aLSO tAKE tHE mALE vICTIM, sEEING
aS hOW hE sTILL hAS A pENIS, gET hIM eRECT, aND rUN tHE pENIS oN A sANDER.
yOU cAN aLSO aLWAYS tAKE a dRILL bIT, aND dRILL oNE oF tHEIR eYES oUT.
oR yOU cAN tAKE pAINT tHINNER aND pUT iT iN thEIR eYES. hA. bY nOW yOUR
vICTIM sHOULD bE pRETTY fUCKED uP. oh wELL. nOW, tHIS iSSUE wOULD nOT
bE cOMPLETE iF iT dIDN'T pROVIDE yOU wITH aN eFFECTIVE mETHOD oF bODY
dISPOSAL.
wATER iS A uNIVERSAL sOLVENT, aND iT iS pARTICULARLY hELPFUL iN hIDING
a bODY. wHEN sERIAL kILLERS aRE cAUGHT, mANY oF thEM gET bUSTED bY dNA
sAMPLES, aND tRACE eLEMENTS sUCH aS hAIR aND cLOTHING fIBERS. wATER tAKES
cARE oF thESE, aS iT wASHES aWAY aLMOST aLL tRACES oF eVIDENCE. i sUGGEST
fINDING A rEMOTE lAKE iN yOUR nECK oF thE wOODS, mAKE tHE vICTIM a pAIR
oF cONCRETE sHOES, aND mAKING hIM sWIM. hA.
iN cONCLUSION, rUSH iS oNE oF tHE pREMIER bANDS oF aLL tIME. vAs IS
dESTINED tO bECOME a lEGEND iN iT'S oWN tIME, iF wE cONTINUE tO puBLISH
fINE arTICLES sUCH aS tHIS oNE.
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