A LARGE rose-tree stood near the entrance of
the garden: the roses growing on it were white,
but there were three gardeners at it, busily painting
them red. Alice thought this a very curious thing,
and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she
came up to them she heard one of them say, "Look
out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint over me
like that!"
"I couldn't help it," said Five, in a sulky tone.
"Seven jogged my elbow."
On which Seven looked up and said, "That's
right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!
" i{You'd} better not talk!" said Five. "I heard the
Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be
beheaded!"
"What for?" said the one who had first spoken.
"That's none of i{your} business, Two!" said Seven.
"Yes, it i{is} his business!" said Five. "And I'll tell
him--it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots
instead of onions."
Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun,
"Well, of all the unjust things---" when his eye
chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching
them, and he checked himself suddenly: the others
looked round also, and all of them bowed low.
"Would you tell me," said Alice, a little timidly,
"why you are painting those roses?"
Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two.
Two began in a low voice, "Why, the fact is, you
see, Miss, this here ought to have been a i{red}
rosetree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if
the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our
heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're
doing our best, afore she comes, to---" At this
moment, Five, who had been anxiously looking
across the garden, called out, "The Queen! The
Queen!" and the three gardeners instantly threw
themselves flat upon their faces. There was a
sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round,
eager to see the Queen.
First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these
were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong
and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners:
next the ten courtiers; these were ornamented all
over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as
the soldiers did. After these came the royal
children; there were ten of them, and the little
dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand,
in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts.
Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens,
and among them Alice recognised the White
Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried, nervous manner,
smiling at everything that was said, and went by
without noticing her. Then followed the Knave
of Hearts, carrying the King's crown on a crimson
velvet cushion; and, last of all this grand procession,
came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.
Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not
to lie down on her face like the three gardeners, but
she could not remember ever having heard of such
a rule at processions; "and besides, what would be
the use of a procession," thought she, "if people
had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they
couldn't see it?" So she stood still where she was,
and waited.
When the procession came opposite to Alice,
they all stopped and looked at her, and the Queen
said severely, "Who is this?" She said it to the
Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in
reply.
"ldiot!" said the Queen, tossing her head
impatiently; and, turning to Alice, she went on,
"What's your name, child?"
"My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,"
said Alice very politely; but she added, to herself,
"Why, they're only a pack of cards, after all. I
needn't be afraid of them!"
"And who are i{these?"} said the Queen, pointing
to the three gardeners who were lying round the
rose-tree; for, you see, as they were lying on their
faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same
as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether
they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or
three of her own children.
"How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at
her own courage. "It's no business of i{mine."}
The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after
glarng at her for a moment like a wild beast,
screamed, "Off with her head! Off---"
"Nonsense!" said Alice, very loudly and
deidedly, and the Queen was silent.
The King laid his hand upon her arm, and
timidly said, "Consider, my dear: she is only a
child!"
The Queen turned angrily away from him, and
said to the Knave, "Turn them over!"
The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.
"Get up!" said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice,
and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and
began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal
children, and everybody else.
"Leave off that!" screamed the Queen. "You
make me giddy." And then, turning to the
rosetree, she went on, "What i{have} you been doing
here ?"
"May it please your Majesty," said Two, in a
very humble tone, going down on one knee as he
spoke, "we were trying---"
"I see!" said the Queen, who had meanwhile
been examiinng the roses. "Off with their heads!"
and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers
remainng behind to execute the unfortunate
gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.
"You shan't be beheaded!" said Alice, and she
put them into a large flower-pot that stood near.
The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or
two, lookng for them, and then quietly marched
off after the others.
"Are their heads off?" shouted the Queen.
"Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!"
the soldiers shouted in reply.
"That's right!" shouted the Queen. "Can you
play croquet?"
The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as
the question was evidently meant for her.
"Yes!" shouted Alice.
"Come on, then!" roared the Queen, and Alice
joined the procession, wondering very much what
would happen next.
"It's--it's a very fine day!" said a timid voice at
her side. She was walking by the White Rabbit,
who was peeping anxiously into her face.
"Very," said Alice: "where's the Duchess?"
"Hush! Hush!" said the Rabbit in a low hurried
tone. He looked anxiously over his shoulder as he
spoke, and then raised him-self upon tiptoe, put his
mouth close to her ear, and whispered, "She's
under sentence of execution."
"What for?" said Alice.
"Did you say, "What a pity! " the Rabbit
asked.
"No, I didn't," said Alice: "I don't think it's at
all a pity. I said, "What for?' "
"She boxed the Queen's ears--" the Rabbit
began. Alice gave a little scream of laughter. "Oh,
hush!" the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone.
"The Queen will hear you! You see, she came
rather late, and the Queen said---"
"Get to your places!" shouted the Queen in a
voice of thunder, and the people began running
about in all directions, tumbling up against each
other; however, they got settled down in a minute
or two, and the game began. Alice thought she had
never seen such a curious croquet-ground in all her
life; it was all ridges and furrows; the balls were
five hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes, and the
soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand
upon their hands and feet, to make the arches.
The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in
managing her flamingo: she succeeded in getting
its body tucked away, comfortably enough, under
her arm, with its legs hanging down, but generally,
just as she had got its neck nicely straightened out,
and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its
head, it i{would} twist itself round and look up in her
face, with such a puzzled expression that she could
not help bursting out laughing: and when she had
got its head down, and was going to begin again, it
was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had
unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away:
besides all this, there was generally a ridge or a
furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the
hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldiers were
always getting up and walking off to other parts of
the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that
it was a very diffcult game indeed.
The players all played at once without waiting
for turns, quarrelling all the while, and fighting for
the hedgehogs; and in a very short time the Queen
was in a furious passion, and went stamping about,
and shouting, "Off with his head!" or "Off with
her head!" about once in a minute.
Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she
had not as yet had any dispute with the Queen, but
she knew that it might happen any minute, "and
then," thought she, "what would become of me?
They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here;
the great wonder is that there's anyone left alive!"
She was looking about for some way of escape,
and wondering whether she could get away without
being seen, when she noticed a curious appearance
in the air: it puzzled her very much at first, but,
after watching it a minute or two, she made it out
to be a grin, and she said to herself, "It's the
Cheshire Cat: now I shall have somebody to talk
to.
"How are you getting on?" said tbe Cat, as soon
as there was mouth enough for it to speak with.
Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then
nodded. "It's no use speakng to it," she thought,
"till its ears have come, or a least one of them."
In another minute the whole head appeared, and
then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an
account of the game, feeling very glad she had some
one to listen to her. The Cat seemed to think that
there was enough of it now in sight, and no more
of it appeared.
"I don't think they play at all fairly," Alice
began, in rather a complaiinng tone, "and they all
quarrel so dreadfully one can't hear oneself speak
and they don't seem to have any rules in
particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to
them--and you've no idea how confusing it is all
the things being alive; for instance, there's the arch
I've got to go through next walking about at the
other end of the ground--and I should have
croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it
ran away when it saw mine coming!"
"How do you like the Queen?" said the Cat in a
low voice.
"Not at all," said Alice: "she's so extremely---"
Just then she noticed that the Queen was close
behind her listening: so she went on, "--likely to win
that it's hardly worth while finishing the game."
The Queen smiled and passed on.
"Who i{are} you talking to?" said the King,
coming up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with
great curiosity.
"It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat," said
Alice: "allow me to introduce it."
"I don't like the look of it at all," said the King:
"however, it may hiss my hand if it likes."
"I'd rather not," the Cat remarked.
"Don't be impertinent," said the King, "and
don't look at me like that!" He got behind Alice
as he spoke.
"A cat may look at a king," said Alice. "I've
read that in some book, but I don't remember
where."
"Well, it must be removed," said the King very
decidedly, and he called the Queen, who was
passing at the moment, "My dear! I wish you would
have this cat removed!"
The Queen had only one way of settling all
diffculties, great or small. "Of with his head!" she
said, without looking round.
"I'll fetch the executioner myself," said the King
eagerly, and he hurried off.
Alice thought she might as well go back and see
how the game was going on, as she heard the
Queen's- voice in the distance, screaming with
passion. She had already heard her sentence three
of the players to be executed for having missed
their turns, and she did not like the look of things
at all, as the game was in such confusion that she
never knew whether it was her turn or not. So she
went in search of her hedgehog.
The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with
another hedgehog, which seemed to Alice an
excellent opportunity for croqueting one of them
with the other: the only difficulty was, that her
flamingo was gone across the other side of the
garden, where Alice could see it trying in a helpless
sort of way to fly up into one of the trees.
By the time she had caught the flamingo and
brought it back, the fight was over, and both the
hedgehogs were out of sight: "but it doesn't matter
much," thought Alice, "as all the arches are gone
from this side of the ground." So she tucked it
under her arm, that it might not escape again, and
went back for a little more conversation with her
friend.
When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was
surprised to find quite a large crowd collected
around it: there was a dispute going on between the
executioner, the King, and the Queen, who were
all talking at once, while all the rest were quite
silent, and looked very uncomfortable.
The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed
to by all three to settle the question, and they
repeated their arguments to her, though, as they all
spoke at once, she found it veC hard indeed to
make out exactly what they said.
The executioner's argument was, that you
couldn't cut off a head unless there was a body to
cut it off from: that he had never had to do such a
thing before, and he wasn't going to begin at his
time of Life.
The King's argument was, that anything that had
head could be beheaded, and that you weren't to
talk nonsense.
The Queen's argument was, that if something
wasn't done about it in less than no time, she'd have
verybody executed, all round. (It was this last
remark that had made the whole party look so
grave and anxious.)
Alice could think of nothing else to say but "It
belongs to the Duchess: you'd better ask i{her} about it."
"She's in prison," the Queen said to the
executioner: "fetch her here." And the executioner went
off like an arrow.
The Cat's head began fading away the moment
he was gone, and, by the time he had come back
with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared; so
the King and the executioner ran wildly up and
down looking for it, while the rest of the party
went back to the game.
The Mock Turtle, s Story
YOU can't think how glad I am to see you
again you dear old thing!" said the Duchess,
as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice's, and
they walked off together.
Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant
temper, and thought to herself that perhaps it was
only the pepper that had made her so savage when
they met in the kitchen.
"When i{I'm a} Duchess," she said to herself (not
in a very hopeful tone though), "I won't have any
pepper in my kitchen i{at all.} Soup does very well
without--maybe it's always pepper that makes
people hot-tempered," she went on, very much
pleased at having found out a new kind of rule,
"and vinegar that makes them sour--and
camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-
sugar and such things that make children
sweettempered. I only wish people knew i{that:} then they
wouldn't be so stingy about it, you know--"
She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time
and was a little startled when she heard her voice
close to her ear. "you're thinking about
something, my dear, and that makes you forget to talk,
I can't tell you just now what the moral of that is,
but I shall remember it in a bit."
"Perhaps it hasn't one," Alice ventured to
remark.
"Tut, tut, child!" said the Duchess. "E
verything's got a moral, if only you can find it." And
she squeezed herself up closer to Alice's side as she
spoke.
Alice did not much like her keeping so close to
her: first, because the Duchess was i{very} ugly; and
secondly, because she was exactly the right height
an uncomfortably sharp chin -However she did
could. "The game seems to be going on rather
better now," she said.
"Tis so," said the Duchess: "and the moral of it
is--"Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go
round!' "
"Somebody said," whispered Alice, "that it's
done by everybody minding their own business!"
"Ah, well! It means much the same thing," said
the Duchess, digging her sharp little chin into
Alice's shoulder as she added, "and the moral of
- i{that} is--"Take care of the sense, and the sounds
will take care of themselves.' "
,, "How fond she is of finding morals in things!"
Alice thought to herself.
"I daresay you're wondering why I don't put my
arm round your waist," the Duchess said after a
pause: "the reason is, that I'm doubtful about the
temper "of your flamingo. Shall I try the
experiment?"
"He might bite," Alice cautiously replied, not
feeling at all anxious to have the experiment tried.
"Very true," said the Duchess: "flamingoes and
mustard both bite. And' the moral of that is"Only mustard isn't a bird," ALice remarked-
"Right, as usual," said the Duchess: "what a
clear way you have of putting things!"
"It's a mineral, I i{think,"} said Alice.
"Of course it is," said the Duchess, who seemed
"ready to agree to everything that Alice said; "there's
a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of
that is--"The more there is of mine, the less there is
of yours.' "
"Oh, I know!" exclaimed Alice, who had not
attended to this last remark. "It's a vegetable. It
doesn"t look like one, but it is."
"I quite agree with you," said the Duchess; "and
the moral of that is--"Be what you would seem to
be'--or if you'd like it put more simply--"Never
," imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it
might have been was not otherwise than what You
had been would have appeared to them to be
otherwise.' "
"I think I should understand that better," Alice
said very politely, "if I had it written down: but
I'm afraid I can't quite follow it as you say it."
"That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,"
the Duchess replied, in a pleased tone.
"Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer
than that," said Alice.
"Oh, don't talk about trouble!" said the Duchess.
"I make you a present of everything I've said as
yet."
"A cheap sort of present!" thought Alice. "I'm
glad they don't give birthday presents like that!"
But she did not venture to say it out loud.
"Thinking again?" the Duchess asked with
another dig of her sharp little chin.
"I've a right to think," said Alice sharply, for she
was beginning to feel a little worried.
"just about as much right," said the Duchess,
"as pigs have to fly; and the m---"
But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's
voice died away, even in the middle of her favourite
word "moral,' and the arm that was linked into hers
began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood
the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,
frowning like a thunderstorm
"A fine day, your Majesty!" the Duchess began
in a low, weak voice.
"Now, I give you fair waining," shouted the
Queen, stamping on the ground as she spoke;
"either you or your head must be off, and that in
about half no time! Take your choice!"
The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a
moment.
"Let's go on with the game," the Queen said to
Alice; and Alice was too much frightened to say a
word, but slowly followed her back to the
croquetground.
The other guests had taken advantage of the
Queens absence and were resting in the shade:
however, the moment they saw her, they hurried
back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that
a moment's delay would cost them their lives.
All the time they were playing the Queen never
left off quarrelling with the other players, and
shouting, "Off with his head!" or "Off with her
head!" Those whom she sentenced were taken into
custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave
off being arches to do this, so that by the end of
half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all
the players, except the King, and Queen, and Alice,
were in custody and under sentence of execution.
Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and
said to Alice, "Have you seen the Mock Turtle
yet?"
, "No," said Alice. "I don't even know what a
Mock Turtle is."
"It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,"
said the Queen.
"I never saw one, or heard of one," said Alice.
"Come on, then," said the Queen, "and he shall
As they walked off together, Alice heard the
King say in a low voice, to the company generally,
"You are all pardoned." "Come, i{that's a} good
thing!" she said to herself, for she had felt quite
unhappy at the number of executions the Queen
had ordered.
They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying
fast asleep in the sun. (If you don't know what a
Gryphon is, look at the picture.) "Up, lazy thing!"
said the Queen, "and take this young lady to see
the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must
go back and see after some executions I have
ordered," and she walked off, leaving Alice alone
with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like the look
of the creature, but on the whole she thought it
would be quite safe to stay with it as to go after that;"
savage Queen: so she waited.
The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it
watched the Queen till she was out of sight: then it
chuckled. "What fun!" said the Gryphon, half to
itself, half to Alice.
"What i{is} the fun?" said Alice.
"Why, i{she,"} said the Gryphon. "It's all her
fancy, that: they never executes nobody, you know.
Come on!"
"Everybody says "come on!' here," thought
Alice, as she went slowly after it: "I never was so
ordered about in all my life, never!"
They had not gone far before they saw the Mock
Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a
little ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice
could hear him sighing as if his heart would break.
She pitied him deeply. "What is his sorrow?" she
asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, "
very nearly in the same words as before, "It's all his
fancy, that: he hasn't- got no sorrow, you know.
Come on!"
So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked
at them with large eyes full of tears, but said
nothing.
"This here young lady," said the Gryphon, "she
wants for to know your history, she do."
"I'll tell it her," said the Mock Turtle in a deep,
hollow, tone: "sit down, both of you, and don't
speak a word till I've finished."
So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some
minutes. Alice thought to herself, "I don't see how
he can i{ever} finish, if he doesn't begin." But she
waited patiently.
"Once," said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep
These words were followed by a very long silence,
broken only by an oceasional exclamation of
"Hjckrrh!" from the Gryphon, and the constant
heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very
nearly getting up and saying, "Thank you, sir, for
your interesting story," but she could not help
thinking there i{must} be more to come, so she sat still
and said nothing.
"When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on
at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little
now and then, "we went to school in the sea. The
master was an old Turtle--we used to call -him
one?" Alice asked.
"We called him Tortoise because he taught us,"
said the Mock Turtle angrily: "really you are very
dull!"
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking
such a simple question," added the Gryphon; and
then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice, "
who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the
Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, "Drive on, old
fellow! Don't be all day about it!" and he went on
in these words:
"Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you
mayn't believe it---"
"I never said I didn't!" interrupted Alice.
"You did," said the Mock Turtle.
"Hold your tongue!" added the Gryphon,
before Alice could speak again. The Mock Turtle
went on:"We had the best of educations--in fact, we went
to school every day---"
i{"I've} been to a day-school, too," said Alice;
"you needn't be so proud as all that."
"With extras?" asked the Mock Turtle a little
anxiously.
"Yes," said Alice, "we learned French and
music.' '
"And washing?" said the Mock Turtle.
"Certainly not!" said Alice indignantly.
"Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school "
said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief.
"Now at i{ours} they had at the end of the bill.
"French, music, i{and washing--}extra.' "
"You couldn't have wanted it much," said Alice;
"living at the bottom of the sea."
"I couldn't afford to arn it," said the Mock
Turtle with a sigh. "I only took the regular
course."
"What was that ?" inquired Alice.
"Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,"
the Mock Turtle replied; "and then the different
branches of Arithmetic--Ambition, Distraction,
Uglification, and Derision."
"I never heard of "Uglification,' " Alice ventured
to say. "What is it?"
The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise,
"What! Never heard of uglifying!" it exclaimed.
"You know what to beautify is, I suppose?"
"Yes," said Alice doubtfully: "it means--tomake--anything--prettier."
"Well, then," the Gryphon went on, "if you don't
know what to uglify is, you i{must} be a simpleton."
Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more
questions about it, so she turned to the Mock
Turtle, and said, "What else had you to learn?"
- "Well, there was Mystery," the Mock Turtle
replied, counting off the subjects on his flappers,
"--Mystery, ancient and modern, with S
eaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was
- an old conger-eel, that used to come once a week:
i{he} taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in
Coils."
"What was i{that} like?" said Alice.
"Well, I can't show it you myself," the Mock
Turtle said: "I'm too stiff. And the Gryphon
never learnt it."
"Hadn't time," said the Gryphon: "I went to the
Classical master, though. He was an old crab, i{he}
was."
"I never went to him," the Mock Turtle said with
a sigh: "he taught Laughing and Grief, they used to
say. "
"So he did, so he did," said the Gryphon, sighing
in his turn; and both creatures hid their faces in
their paws.
"And how many hours a day did you do
lessons?" said Alice, in a hurry to change the
subject.
"Ten hours the first day," said the Mock Turtle:
"nine the next, and so on."
"What a curious plan!" exclaimed Alice.
"That's the reason they're called lessons," the
Gyphon remarked: "because they lessen from day
to day."
This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she
thought it over a little before she made her next
remark. "Then the eleventh day must have been a
holiday ?"
"Of course it was," said the Mock Turtle.
"And how did you manage on the twelfth?
Alice went on eagerly.
"That's enough about lessons," the Gryphon
interrupted in a very decided tone: "tell her
something about the games'now."
THE Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the
back of one flapper across his eyes. He looked
at Alice, and tried to speak, but, for a minute or
two, sobs choked his voice. "Same as if he had a
bone in his throat," said the Gryphon: and it set to
work shaking him and punching him in the back. At
last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with
tears running down his cheeks, went on again:"You may not have lived much under the sea--"
("I haven't," said Alice) "and perhaps you were
never even introduced to a lobster--" (Alice began
to say, "I once tasted---" but checked herself
hastily, and said, "No, never") "--so you can have
no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille
is!"
"No, indeed," said Alice. "What sort of a dance
is it?"
"Why," said the Gryphon, "you first form into
a line along the sea-shore---"
"Two lines!" cried the Mock Turtle. "Seals,
turtles, and so on; then, when you've cleared the
jelly-fish out of the way---"
i{"That} generally takes some time " i t
the Gryphon.
"--you advance twice---"
"Each with a lobster as a partner!" cried the
Gryphon.
"Of course," the Mock Turtle said: "advance
twice, set to partners---"
"--change lobsters, and retire in same order,"
continued the Gryphon.
"Then you know," the Mock Turtle went on,
"you throw the---"
"The lobsters!" shouted the Gryphon, with a
bound into the air.
"--as far out to sea as you can---"
"Swim after them!" screamed the Gryphon,.
"Turn a somersault in the sea!" cried the Mock
Turtle, capering wildly about.
"Change lobsters again!" yelled the Gryphon.,,
"Back to land again, and--that's all the first
figure," said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping
his voice; and the two creatures, who had been
jumping about like mad dogs, sat down again very
sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.
"It must be a very pretty dance," said Alice,
timidly.
"Would you like to see a little of it?" said the
Mock Turtle.
"Very much indeed," said Alice.
"Let's try the first figure!" said the Mock Turtle
to the Gryphon. "We can do without lobsters, you
know. Which shall sing?"
" "Oh, i{you} sing," said the Gryphon. "I've
forgotten the words."
So they began solemnly dancing round and round
Alice, every now and then treading on her toes when
they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to
mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this,
very slowly and sadly: " i{Will you walk a littlefaster?" said a whiting to a}
i{"There's a porpoise close behind} us, i{and he's treading}
i{See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all ad-}
i{vance}.
i{They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and}
i{join the dance?}
i{Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you}
i{join the dance?}
i{Will you, won't you, will you, won' t you, won' t you}
i{join the dance?}
" i{You can really have no notion how delightful it will}
i{be,}
i{When they take us up and throw} us, i{with the lobsters,}
i{out to sea. s"}
i{But the snail replied, "Too far, too far}.1" i{and gave a}
i{look askance--}
i{Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not}
i{join the dance.}
i{Would not, could not, would not, could not, would}
i{not join the dance.}
i{Would not, could not, would not, could not, could}
i{not join the dance.}
i{"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend}
i{replied.}
i{"There is another shore, you know, upon the other}
i{side.}
i{The further off from England the nearer is to}
i{France--}
i{Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join}
i{the dance.}
i{Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you}
i{join the dance?}
i{Will you, won' t you, will you, won't you, won't you}
i{join the dance} ?"
"Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to
watch," said Alice, feeling very glad that it was over
at last: "and I do so like that curious song about
the whiting!"
"Oh, as to the whiting," said the Mock Turtle,
"they--you've seen them, of course?"
"Yes," said Alice, "I've often seen them at
dinn---" she checked herself hastily.
"I don't know where Dinn may be," said the
Mock Turtle, "but if you've seen them so often, of
course you know what they're like."
"I believe so," Alice replied thoughtfully. "They
have their tails in their mouths--and they're all
over crumbs."
"You're wrong about the crumbs," said the
Mock Turtle: "crumbs would all wash off in the
sea. But they i{have} their tails in their mouths; and
the reason is---" here the Mock Turtle yawned
and shut his eyes. "Tell her about the reason and
all that," he said to the Gryphon.
"The reason is," said the Gryphon, "that they
i{would} go with the lobsters to the dance. So they
got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall a long
way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths.
So they couldn't get them out again. That's all."
"Thank you," said Alice, "it's very interesting.
I never knew so much about a whiting before."
"I can tell you more than that, if you like," said
the Gryphon. "Do you know why it's called a
whiting ?"
"I never thought about it," said Alice. "Why?"
i{"It does the boots and shoes,"} the Gryphon
replied very solemnly.
Alice was thoroughly puzzled. "Does the boots
and shoes!" she repeated in a wondering tone.
"Why, what are i{your} shoes done with?" said the
Gryphon. "I mean, what makes them so shiny?"
Alice looked down at them, and considered a
little before she gave her answer. "They're done
with blacking, I believe."
"Boots and shoes under the sea," the Gryphon
went on in a deep voice, "are done with whiting.
Now you know."
"And what are they made of?" Alice asked in a
tone of great curiosity.
"Soles and eels, of course," the Gryphon replied
rather impatiently: "any skimp could have told
you that."
'"If I'd been the whiting," said Alice, whose
thoughts were still running on the song. "I'd have
"said to the porpoise, "Keep back, please: we don't
want i{you} with us!' "
"They were obliged to have him with them," the
Mock Turtle said: "no wise fish would go anywhere
without a porpoise."
"Wouldn't it really?" said Alice in a tone of great
surprise.
a fish came to i{me,} and told me he was going a
journey, I should say, "With what porpoise ?' "
"Don't you mean "purpose'?" said Alice.
"I mean what I say," the Mock Turtle replied In
an offended tone. And the Gryphon added,
"Come, let's hear some of i{your} adventures."
"I could tell you my adventures--beginning from
this morning," said Alice a little timidly: "but it's
no use going back to yesterday, because I was a
different person then."
"Explain all that," said the Mock Turtle
"No, no! The adventures first," said the
Gryphon in an impatient tone: "explanations take
such a dreadful time."
So Alice began telling them her adventures from
" the time when she first saw the White Rabbit. She
was a little nervous about it just at first, the two
creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and
opened their eyes and mouths so i{very} wide, but she
gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were
perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her
repeating, i{"You are old, Father William,"} to the
Caterpillar and the words all coming different, and
then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said,
"That's very curious."
"It's all about as curious as it can be," said the
Gryphon.
"It all came different!" the Mock Turtle repeated
thoughtfully. "I should like to hear her repeat
something now. Tell her to begin." He looked at
the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of
authority over Alice.
"Stand up and repeat, " i{'Tis the voice of the}
i{sluggard,'} " said the Gryphon.
"How the creatures order one about, and make
one repeat lessons!" thought Alice. "I might as
well be at school at once." However, she got up,
and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of
the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what
she was saying, and the words came very queer
indeed:i{"Tis the voice of the Lobster;} I i{heard him declare}
" i{You have baked me too brown,} I i{must sugar my}
i{hair.'}
i{As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose}
i{Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.}
i{When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,} '
i{And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark:}
i{But when the tide rises and sharks are around,}
i{his voice has a timid and tremulous sound."}
"That's dirrerent from what I used to say when I
was a child," said the Gryphon.
"Well, I never heard it before," said the Mock
TurtIe; "but it sounds uncommon nonsense."
Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her
face in her hands, wondering if anything would
i{ever} happen in a natural way again.
"I should like to have it explained," said the
; Mock Turtle.
"She can't explain it," hastily said the Gryphon.
"Go on to the next verse."
"But about his toes?" the Mock Turtle persisted.
"How i{could} he turn them out with his nose, you
"It's the first position in dancing," Alice said;
but was dreadfully puzzled by it all, and longed to
change the subject.
Go on with the next verse," the Gryphon
repeated: "it begins with the words i{'I passed by his
garden.'"}
Alice did not dare to disobey' though she felt sure
it would all come wrong, and she went on in a
trembling voice:" i{How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie:}
i{The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,}
i{While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.}
i{When the pie was all fnished, the Owl, as a boon,}
i{Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:}
i{While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,}
i{And concluded the banquet-}--"
"What i{is} the use of repeating all that stuff," the
Mock Turtle interrupted, "if you don't explain it as
you go on? It's by far the most confusing thing I
ever heard!"
"Yes, I think you'd better leave off," said the
Gryphon: and Alice was only too glad to do so.
"Shall we try another figure of the Lobster
Quadrille?" the Gryphon went on. "Or would you
like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?"
"Oh, a song please, if the Mock Turtle would be
so kind," Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon
said, in a rather offended tone, "Hm! No
accounting for tastes! Sing her i{"Turtle Soup,'} will you old
fellow ?"
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a
voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this:i{"Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,}
i{Waiting in a hot tureen!}
i{Who for such dainties would not stoop}!
i{Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup}!
i{Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup}!
i{Beau--ootiful Soo--oop}!
i{Beau--ootiful Soo--oop}!
i{Soo--op of the e--e--evening,}
i{Beautiful, beautiful Soup}!
i{"Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish,}
i{Game, or any other dish?}
i{Who would not give all else for two p}
i{ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?}
i{Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?}
i{Beau--ootiful Soo--oop}!
i{Beau--ootiful Soo--oop}!
i{Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,}
i{Beautiful, beauti--FUL} SOUP!"
"Chorus again!" cried the Gryphon, and the
Mock-Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when a cry
of "The trial's beginning!" was heard in the
distance.
"Come on!" cried the Gryphon, and, taking
Alice by the hand, it hurried off, without waiting
for the end of the song.
"What trial is it?" Alice panted as she ran; but
the Gryphon only answered, "Come on!" and ran
the faster, while more and more faintly came,
carried on the breeze that followed them, the
melancholy words:i{"Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,}
i{Beautiful, beautiful Soup}!"
