Like an invisible flash of lightning,he tumbled
towards the stars. He entered black holes, felt
the heat from distant suns and the cold from the
deep space. Promixa Centauri, Sirius or the
North star. It was all available for him as long
as he wanted. He travelled faster than anything
else, to places no one ever seen. Space told him
to explore the magic and the unknown. He was the
lost soul, lost to the invisible and the silent.
Why he was doomed to this lonely life was
forgotten. It happened several thousands of years
ago and it is not easy to remember everything.
Maybe he did not want to remember it and denied
the fact that he would be completely alone
forever. He did not feel alone, he felt free.
Free, to do whatever came into his head without
any comments from other people. People. Humans.
Humans? What happened to the humans? Or -
much better - what happened to his own race? He
had been gone too long... He twisted, turned and
rushed past shining stars towards the end. But
there was no end of the universe. He would never
find any brick wall at the end of the ride.
Everything is eternal, even a lost soul. There
was nothing more to explore in the static space.
It was time to find his roots, time to go back.
It had changed. Still blue, but not the same
Earth he knew about. He could not recognize his
own places as he used to do. Everything was
harder. Cold. Black. There were a lot more of
them now, and they were concentrated to more
compact areas of the big world. Them. He still
called the humans "them". He was one of them, to
the mind but not to the body. The difference was
small. He could think, he could believe. But he
could not trap his thoughts in a shell or dress
them as a smile. They floated away, like dust in
a light breeze.
Then he saw her. Something woke inside him.
She walked in the darkness of the night,
completely alone. What happened to him? He
wanted to leave, to run away and continue
laughing at the misery they had built to
themselves. Something stopped him. Something.
Tears fell from her eyes. Before he knew, he was
right in front of her. The silence engulfed both
of them. She raised her head and watched the
stars. Oh, he said, I can take you there. I can
show you all the places you dream about.
You are a flower in the concrete. You do not
deserve to live in a world of death and
destruction. Let me take your hand.
A chilly wind. His hand could not feel her
soft skin. So close, but so far away. He never
wanted to leave her. The Universe was eternal
but had no true love to offer. The only true
love existed on a planet that was a pile of
failure. It did not matter to him any more.
She smiled. Someone else was there. She
looked right into his eyes, but could not see
him. She saw someone else. An explosion of
remembrance and memories crashed into him.
Why
Cannot be
is it
But
Away, away. He ran away once again. It was
perfectly clear to him, almost when he had
forgotten all about it. He was a lost soul, he
could dream and wish but nothing else. No one
would ever notice him.
Like a clown in circus. He fills you with
laughter and joy. Maybe you wonder how it would
be to act as a clown.
Never, you ask yourself who the clown in front
of you is.
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