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           HOW TO CARD SHIT, WHEN YOU STILL LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS

                                by  L.E. Pirate

                     >>> A CULT Publication......1987 <<<
                       -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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    HAVING PARENTS
    --------------

      Ok...I'm still living at home, as most of you nerds.
   Now, I'm sure many of you have wondered "HOW THE HELL AM I
   GONNA PULL OFF THAT CARDED 20 MEGGER?"  I know damn well
   that some of you have parents as smart as a fuckin' tree
   stump.  But for intelligent people, like my parents, they
   aren't gonna fuckin' believe that the carded hard drive is
   the modem. "Yeah, sure mom, it's the modem, remember, uh
   when we went to Zooliggerz Department Store and I begged for
   one? huh? do ya???". Well, maybe my mother would believe that
   but it just wouldn't hold steady with my dad,  he's an
   electrical engineer and works around computers all the time,
   you can't say shit like "yeah, uh... that thing you've never
   seen before? oh... uh... that's Jimmies, yeah, he, uh, gave
   it to me".  I know that some people do that shit, I got a
   unidisk from some dude who didn't care, and my parents believed
   it too.  Anyways, how do you get away with it?  Well, I suggest
   you practice carding small shit, like knives and bb guns and
   shit.  Also, read as many carding files before you follow any
   instructions, this is for the beginner, but I assume that you
   understand the "basics".  Practice going and picking them up,
   small things, your parents usually never notice.  If your parents
   never go in your room, then splurge, card yourselves a bunch
   of sluts to work you over everyday, but if your mom isn't a yuppie
   bitch, then it's gonna be tough....After hours of day dreaming in
   school,  I came across this method...


   CARDING BIG SHIT AND GETTING AWAY WITH IT
   -----------------------------------------

   ok..at this point, before carding ANYTHING.  Tell your parents
   that you have a friend in California (or some other far away
   place, like I live in S.NJ so I usually say Nebraska or something).
   who is starting a computer business in a local shopping mall.
   Tell them months before that you want a 20 meg hard drive, keep
   telling them (you'll probably get it for xmas, but you can't wait
   that long), in no time, they'll be sick of it.  So you say that
   the dude is gonna give you a hard drive as long as you advertise
   his company on systems all over the country (if your parents don't
   know you phreak, then just say "locally"), for the small price
   of a hard drive.  You must have a friend set up in a state far away
   in order to really do this.  If your parents do not believe you,
   usually they do, but if they don't, give them the number of your
   friend (he must sound older, no squeaky voces), and say it is the
   computer store in the "mall".  He must answer the phone like this:
   "This is the didly-squat computer store, this is Joe, may I help you?"
   If your parents start asking questions, the dude on the other end
   cannot be nervous, he has to see the thing through, even in the tough
   spots.  If your parents buy it, then you're home free.  Let "Joe"
   explain to your parents the concept of the deal.  Also, I'd throw in
   an HST 9600 for good effect, as a "free gift".  But you don't have
   to tell them that.  You can only pull this off once, unless you have
   ultra-stupid parents.  But I'd cash in real good cuz you cannot use
   this as much as you'd like to.  If your parents work, then you do
   not have to worry, card everything as usual, and go pick it up at the
   drop site.  If your dad works, and your mom doesn't.  Go outside and
   ride your bike (how cute), skateboard, work on your car, kill dogs,
   spray paint the road, etc.  anything, as long as you're in front of
   your house, and your mother knows it.  Go pick up the shit, and go to
   your mother (who's probably in the kitchen, heh.) and say "oh goodie,
   look what just came!  Hot dog!  The nice UPS man just delivered it!"
   and open it, and say "hey look, a 9600 baud modem! wow!" and go to
   your room (where the computer is, unless you keep it in the family
   room..ha) and set it up.  That's it!  It works, and it is very
   sensible.  If you have any questions or comments about this file,
   contact me at Dragonfire Private, number at the end of this.

   ====================================================================
   The author of this file is not responsible for jack shit in this file
   or how the reader uses the contents to his/her jollies.  Fuck your
   self if you get caught, and if you call me crying, I'll kill you.
   Also, don't card to the same place twice.  Read all of The Metallian's
   files on carding.  Thanks, and have an average day.

   ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
   Thanks to The Blade, The Metallian, The Simulator, Dial Tone,
   The Bronze Rider, The Snowman, Lustfer Death, Bungalow Bill,
   The Tempest, The Tailpipe, Swamp Rat, Franken Gibe, Frontal Nudity,
   The Rocker, The Rogue, Brain Tumor, and last but not least, TRAXSTER
   :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
   Dragonfire Private.....................................609/424-2606
===============================================================================
(c)1987  cDc communications  by L.E. Pirate                        10/20/87-22
All Rights Worth Shit

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