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[HN Gopher] The Offline Club
___________________________________________________________________
The Offline Club
Author : esher
Score : 158 points
Date : 2025-06-25 19:42 UTC (19 hours ago)
web link (www.theoffline-club.com)
w3m dump (www.theoffline-club.com)
| _rpxpx wrote:
| https://www.theludditeclub.org/
| specproc wrote:
| That looks cool. Bit US-based (and maybe a bit young) for me,
| but much respect, the world could do with more of this. The
| kids are alright.
| Sat_P wrote:
| This seems like an app that would have been created by the team
| at "The Idler" magazine (it's a monthly UK publication).
| larrymyers wrote:
| These places already exist, they're your local game stores! Show
| up, play games with other people. If you like competition most
| host official tournaments for various TCG's and table top war-
| games. These tournaments usually forbid devices while playing,
| since they can be used to gain unfair advantage, so you are
| forced to be offline by default. (Plus it's considered rude to be
| on your phone during a match.)
| allenu wrote:
| I'm not a huge table top gamer or anything and have checked out
| my local shop to play with others. It was definitely fun, but
| I'll admit that it wasn't for me and I stopped going. If you
| are into board games, you definitely should check them out
| though. I just found it required more interest in board games
| than I was willing to partake in when I really just wanted a
| third space to hang out.
|
| On the flip side, I was into swing dancing for a few years and
| I found that was a great place to socialize. Of course, like
| the board games thing, it's not for everyone. That said, I did
| find it was a bit easier to just show up there and just
| socialize. Once you're a regular, you don't necessarily have to
| be constantly dancing or anything. (I did when I got started,
| though.) You can just hang out and have a good conversation
| with another regular, and often there's a bar where you can
| chill with a drink. It's definitely intimidating to go dancing
| as a newb, though, so I recommend going some place that offers
| a weekly class. That's a great way to meet other newbies and go
| to the dance together.
| paradox460 wrote:
| The problem is the weirdo problem someone else mentioned. You
| can only put up with so many stinky man children till you
| decide it's not worth going
| specproc wrote:
| The local shop scene never appealed, but big love for my
| gaming crew. Been playing games with the same lads for twenty
| years, and we've all learned how to wash!
| GuinansEyebrows wrote:
| [flagged]
| dang wrote:
| Can you please not post snarky comments here? This is in the
| site guidelines:
| https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html.
| edent wrote:
| Looks fun. But PS12.50 to read in silence? Am I missing
| something?
| LtWorf wrote:
| There's one in copenhagen where you have to pay to have a
| picnic in a public park :D
| trinix912 wrote:
| How do they police that though? It's a public space so they
| can't just throw you out if you don't pay right?
| heyheyhey wrote:
| Well, if it's at a venue, they have to rent it out.
| II2II wrote:
| In times past, we used to have things like clubs and user
| groups. For the most part, they held open meetings. Anyone
| could attend without commitment. These meeting not only
| served the interests of members and the community, but they
| also served to engage people who would become members.
| Members paid dues. Dues paid the bills.
|
| If it was a community based organization (ham radio, open
| source developers, etc.) and the membership worked out
| outreach, you could usually find someone who would provide a
| meeting space. Perhaps it would be at a local business.
| Perhaps it would be at a local university. Perhaps it would
| be at a local community centre or library. Even if you did
| have to pay for the space, there were typically a lot of
| inexpensive spaces to rent for an hour or two. But the key
| word is _community based_. There was always a surplus of
| space if you knew where to look and who to ask. Some people
| were willing to donate it and others were willing to let it
| be used for a nominal fee.
|
| That seemed to change 10 or 20 years ago. I'm not quite sure
| as to the reason why.
| trinix912 wrote:
| How about just going to a public library? Perhaps with a
| friend or two as accountability partners for keeping off the
| phone?
| tropicalfruit wrote:
| the gentrification of boredom?
|
| is there anything that can't be repackaged and marketed to a
| consumer.
| ethagnawl wrote:
| So, Meetup without the baggage (i.e. WeWork)? I'll take it. I
| made quite a few friends on Meetup back in the day attending and
| running group events in NYC.
| yesfitz wrote:
| I think there is a target market for this, and it might seem
| silly to anyone outside of that market, but it shouldn't.
|
| If you're a screen addict living in these cities, paying an entry
| fee could be reassuring because you _know_ that you 're supposed
| to be there. The same goes for having a non-skills based
| activity, because you can't screw it up.
|
| Compare that to a free and/or skills-based gathering[1], where
| you end up paying with social capital (which you don't currently
| have), and staying home with the screen becomes all that more
| enticing.
|
| 1: I help run a monthly pinball tournament locally, and we've
| taken deliberate steps to favor socialization over competition,
| which has been wildly successful, but there are still those for
| whom the skills-based activity is too much. I feel the same about
| dancing.
| tonymet wrote:
| There was a dream that was having a social life. You could only
| whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it
| was so fragile. -- Marcus Aurelius
|
| Relationships and things that matter are spontaneous. When you
| try to optimize them into calendars, checklists & databases --
| they become lame and fall apart.
|
| It's half the reason people aren't social. They try so hard to
| "schedule a meetup" and the meetup becomes work so people stop
| hanging out.
|
| You're just supposed to show up at someone's house and do shit.
|
| You don't make friends by agenda. You have cool experiences ,
| build trust and develop a bond.
| 9283409232 wrote:
| Where I grew up, just showing up at someone's house unannounced
| was a faux pas. Scheduling in advance was the only way to do
| shit.
| tonymet wrote:
| Was it booked or was it "hey you home" and you head over?
| 9283409232 wrote:
| A mixture of the two. "Cool if I come by later" or "wanna
| go to PLACE Friday".
| kzisme wrote:
| I miss the days of going over to neighbors houses, ringing
| the doorbell and seeing if people wanted to do stuff.
|
| That, or college just walking around dorms to find stuff
| going on.
| OkayPhysicist wrote:
| You're thinking about the wrong stage of friendmaking.
|
| The pitch here is for getting people over the first hurdle,
| which is being at the same place at the same time as other
| people, and to some extent, the second hurdle, which is
| striking up a conversation (as anyone who would attend
| something like this is, by their presence, signalling an
| interest in at least casual interaction with the other
| participants). This adds people to your "acquaintances" list.
|
| The next step is forming setting specific friendships. Your gym
| buddies, your work friends, etc. Then you need to actually
| invite some of those friends to other settings, until your
| friendship isn't entirely predicated on the particular setting.
| Then you need to spend enough time with that person to maintain
| the friendship.
|
| For most people, the big hurdles are the "being present",
| "striking up a conversation", and "converting setting specific
| friendships into general friendships" steps. Everything else is
| pretty straightforward.
|
| Casually dropping by someone's place unscheduled is typically
| reserved for pretty close friends. That's not what this service
| is targeting.
| tonymet wrote:
| being out in public , at libraries coffee shops, parks &
| being accessible would be the analog of that phase.
| komali2 wrote:
| Depending on the culture, it's _significantly_ easier to
| actually make friends at "sanctioned" events, such as
| whatever this offline club is, or Meetups. Sometimes just a
| nametag is all it takes to completely shift interpersonal
| dynamics for a culture.
|
| I notice that the "just talk to strangers in public" crowd
| really like to apply this to unwilling participants, as if
| everyone else is "just too scared" or something. I cringe
| so hard when I see e.g. Americans try to bully through
| "cultural baggage" in Japan to talk to strangers. "See, not
| so hard, no need to be so uptight!" Not realizing they're
| causing incredible discomfort to whoever they're trying to
| make friends with, misinterpreting desperate politeness for
| some kind of finally-unlocked freedom of expression. It's
| not "oh thank god this friendly foreigner started talking
| to me, my culture is so stuffy and oppressive and boring,
| now I can make a great friend!" it's "why is this person
| talking to me, are they crazy, I don't know them, what do
| they want, how can I get out of this situation??" Whereas
| in a meetup, everyone there is in the mindset that they
| want to meet and talk to strangers, and maybe make a couple
| new friends.
| Taikonerd wrote:
| > _Sometimes just a nametag is all it takes to completely
| shift interpersonal dynamics for a culture._
|
| Well put. If you're at a Meetup that's explicitly
| supposed to be a social event, then it's not weird to
| talk to people you don't know. Whereas it _might_ be, if
| you 're waiting in line at your local coffee shop.
| (Depends on your local culture.)
| SchemaLoad wrote:
| There's a few furry events in my city which are basically "This
| pub, this day of the week every week". You don't bother working
| out who is going, how it fits in to everyones schedule. You
| just go if you feel like doing something that night and there
| will be people there.
|
| I've got a few friends who I don't even have the contact
| details for, If I want to talk to them I just go out to
| whatever the current event or party is and they will probably
| be there.
| xeonmc wrote:
| I don't suppose these events enforce any dress code?
| SchemaLoad wrote:
| They usually aren't that structured and for some of them
| they don't really even have someone who runs the event,
| it's just self perpetuating that people know other people
| will be at this venue this day. So any kind of rules would
| just be the rules of the pub or venue itself.
| kayodelycaon wrote:
| No more than any other meetup in public.
|
| Any rules are more like do not wear bondage gear next to a
| playground at a local park.
|
| (This isn't as clear as you might think. No one really bats
| an eye at superhero costumes. A leather catsuit with a
| tail, chains, and pup hood does not have the same
| reaction.)
| vaylian wrote:
| How are these events advertised so that people get to know
| about them?
| kayodelycaon wrote:
| In my area, there are Telegram groups people post to. Some
| of these can be googled. Others you need to find someone
| who knows about them.
|
| Some furry spaces, like the Furry Writer's Guild, have
| Telegram or Discord links on their websites. (The FWG
| doesn't require membership to access their chat rooms, but
| does vet accounts before allowing them in.)
|
| There are also conventions, which is how I go involved.
|
| You could do your own research and dig around to find local
| furries' social media accounts. They may have posted
| something.
|
| You might be able to send a polite email to the closest
| convention and say you're new to the fandom (or area) and
| want to know if there are any local groups you can join.
|
| Furry or city-specific subreddits are also an option for
| finding people.
| kzisme wrote:
| While I generally agree with this sentiment - it's pretty hard
| to maintain friendships and relationships where both parties
| don't talk because they're both waiting to be spontaneous.
|
| I don't "book/plan" things with friends, but it makes a massive
| difference to consistently reach out and nurture friendships.
|
| The way you're describing meeting people seems fun, but half
| the time folks are busy with life or other stuff to be
| spontaneous.
|
| I work from home, live far away from family, and sometimes the
| only social interaction I get each day is getting marketing
| text messages from HelloFresh. I then can take the time to go
| speak to my local barista for ~30 seconds and buy a drink.
| al_borland wrote:
| People are busy and can't accommodate random pop-ins all the
| time. That is also a nightmare for certain personality types,
| and is often considered quite rude.
|
| My dad is in his early 70s and still regularly gets together
| with people from all eras of his life, going all the way back
| to high school. Old neighbors, former co-workers and employees,
| and various others he met along the way. Unlike a lot of
| retirees, he has a rich social life and a packed calendar with
| dozens of close friends. This was all due to him regularly
| reaching out and scheduling a meal or activity, or just time to
| chat, over the course of his life. Friendships don't just
| spontaneously last decades, they take effort, especially as
| people go through different stages of life.
| tonymet wrote:
| that's part of the issue I'm raising. people pretending to be
| as busy as a surgeon. Even parents / grandparents are
| scheduling family visits with a calendar despite watching TV
| and golfing most of the time.
|
| It's the corporatization of life that I'm protesting and we
| all participate. A total buzzkill
| al_borland wrote:
| It's not corporatizing, it's simply respecting people's
| time. Maybe I am just watching TV, but I'm doing that after
| a long day at work and don't want an impromptu guest I need
| to entertain. Nor do I keep my house in a state to have
| company at the drop of a hat.
|
| Drop ins were cool in college, but as an adult, it's not so
| fun.
| allenu wrote:
| I see the value of these services, but there's definitely an
| impersonal and formal nature to them, which takes away some of
| the humanity of just meeting people IRL and deciding to spend
| time. However, it feels like there are fewer third spaces
| people can spend time at without having to spend money where
| they can just randomly meet new people and see them regularly.
| Making new friends requires regularly being in the same space
| with them over time so you can build familiarity. Just meeting
| someone one time isn't enough for a lot of us to just decide
| "let's be friends and spend time together". If this service
| encourages people to hang out regularly, I think it's a step in
| the right direction.
| tonymet wrote:
| bro i was hoping "the offline club" was a bunch of apps that just
| worked without logins radios rest APIs and all the other stuff
| that broke software
| kgwxd wrote:
| Too much of life is already tied to a screen. I spent the last
| few years sitting in front of "offline" computers seeking fun
| and relaxation. I got all kinds of cool stuff for Atari 2600,
| bought a Commander X16, even learned how to program for both.
| Ultimately, it just feels like everything else in life now, but
| harder.
|
| Anyone interested in buying a bunch of retro stuff? :)
| apgwoz wrote:
| This is [Meetup](https://www.meetup.com). Meetup has obviously
| not aged well, but this is mostly due to changes in ownership and
| leadership. It's original mission of "a Meetup Everywhere about
| Most Everything" is pretty much exactly what The Offline Club
| seems to be seeking.
|
| I think they'll find a lot of the same challenges:
| 1. Finding space to have events 2. Ensuring that people
| who said "I'm going" actually end up going. 3.
| Bootstrapping groups such that when I stumble upon The Offline
| Club, I can signup for something relevant to me, happening a
| short time from now. 4. Keeping organizers willing to
| continue hosting events 5. Keeping away organizers who
| see it as lead gen for their sales job
|
| Basically, good luck!
|
| _Edit: On second look, this is different than Meetup in that
| it's not centered around a specific topic ... except for being
| "offline" together, which obviously could create other
| opportunities for hobbies, etc._
| al_borland wrote:
| One thing I've noticed with Meetup is that a lot of events went
| virtual during Covid, then never went back. When I go there it
| seems like so many things near me are simply Zoom meetings,
| which I have no interest in.
|
| I understand needing that during that period, but it seems like
| if they want to get back to the real purpose of the site, they
| need to do away with that option.
| calpaterson wrote:
| RE: Meetup.
|
| I think many groups effectively died during that period - but
| were just able to limp along a bit longer as a virtual meet
| rather than physical. Once your meetup is sub 30 attendees
| (attendees who actually attend - so ~45 RSVPs) you lose
| critical mass and everything from getting people to talk to
| finding a space to meet becomes very difficult.
| abnercoimbre wrote:
| We run meetups for systems programmers [0] and have mostly
| addressed these challenges.
|
| _> 1. Finding space to have events_
|
| Talk to a coffee shop owner. Promise them your group will
| (reliably) order drinks or snacks. In exchange, every month we
| get an area "cordoned off" just for us.
|
| _> 2. Ensuring that people who said "I'm going" actually end
| up going._
|
| Aside from sending a general newsletter, I personally ping and
| catch up with individuals. This is a lot of work. It pays off
| when they evangelize your event on your behalf.
|
| _> 3. Bootstrapping groups such that when I stumble upon The
| Offline Club, I can signup for something relevant to me,
| happening a short time from now._
|
| See #2
|
| _> 4. Keeping organizers willing to continue hosting events_
|
| That's tougher. However, if the event is
| specialized/niche/unique enough, the organizers will be
| conferred high social status by the community.
|
| _> 5. Keeping away organizers who see it as lead gen for their
| sales job_
|
| Mmm, could we define sales job? On the business front, the
| meetups are used to promote our (indie) conferences. The meetup
| groups don't mind when I ask them to buy a ticket. They can
| just say no and we're not pushy about it.
|
| [0] https://handmadecities.com/meetups
| apgwoz wrote:
| Yes. The group I used to run also addressed a lot of these
| challenges. However, this isn't so easy for everyone who runs
| meetups.
|
| Part of the promise of WeWork buying Meetup, for instance,
| was "oh look! We have access to tons of real estate to house
| Meetups in." A large amount of organizer support was
| providing ideas for places to have events.
|
| I worked at Meetup for a couple of years. There were often
| Meetup groups that started up in the guise of $GENERIC get
| together, that ended up actually being literal lead gen for a
| pyramid scheme. This wasn't likely a tech meetup thing, but
| perhaps a knitting circle, or whatever.
| abnercoimbre wrote:
| _> started up in the guise of $GENERIC get together, that
| ended up actually being literal lead gen for a pyramid
| scheme_
|
| Ah yes yes. That's horrifying.
| patcon wrote:
| Yeah, agree that none of the issues are problems without
| solutions.
|
| The issue is vulture capitalism and misalignment of
| incentives for platform vs host vs participants. I've been a
| part of groups that solved these and grew to 8000-member
| communities. It's simply that meetup wasn't actually
| interested to solve the challenges because they needed to
| extract wealth and pass extraction down the chain (no
| incentivise to protect underlying communities as a commons)
| BoxFour wrote:
| > Mmm, could we define sales job? On the business front, the
| meetups are used to promote our (indie) conferences. The
| meetup groups don't mind when I ask them to buy a ticket.
| They can just say no and we're not pushy about it.
|
| Not the OP but: I encountered this often. Recruiters or
| startup founders would start attending mainly to pitch their
| company or try to recruit.
|
| It was the same cycle every time with every group I went to:
| Starts out small and useful, as it gets more popular it
| becomes a target for the "hustle culture" crowd.
| TheAceOfHearts wrote:
| There's a meetup dynamic which has previously been explained to
| me, it goes something like this: someone starts a meetup where
| a mix of cool people and weirdos show up, the events continue
| until the ratio gets really bad which causes the cool people to
| splinter off into their own private group. I wonder if this
| product is able to escape that pattern.
| allenu wrote:
| Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. If something takes a bit of
| work to join, it'll naturally attract only people who are
| invested in improving the community. I imagine new
| communities that get popular need cool people to get it
| started and keep the fire going. Not many people will know
| about it and it may be small, so there's a nice natural
| filter where only dedicated members self-select into the
| community.
|
| Once it grows and offers more value, it becomes more visible
| and it spreads in awareness, so more people know about it,
| but then it's just as likely to attract low-quality members
| who don't really care about maintaining it. It's much easier
| to take for granted because it's just there and doesn't take
| effort to keep going, at least to a new member.
|
| I think this is one of the things that I dislike about
| meetup.com. It's too easy to sign up for something and then
| not show up. It's a third party service, so you don't ever
| need to interact with a human being. If someone invited you
| to an event, it's a bit harder to bail on it, but if you just
| clicked a button to say you were going to go, it doesn't feel
| so bad to never show up. I think communities need an effort
| to maintain and a "member" putting in the work makes them
| more attached to the community. Showing up regularly is a
| kind of ritual, and over time, you become a true member of
| the community.
| SchemaLoad wrote:
| I used to go to a Ruby meetup and it was pretty much just
| like this. There was a core group who went every time and
| then you'd get some real whackos showing up. Often who didn't
| even know what the group was about, just that there was
| something on tonight.
|
| I'm not sure a product is even able to solve this. A product
| needs to maximise engagement, turn a profit, etc. But there
| isn't really any money to be made here. A local community
| isn't going to want to pay a fee to some 3rd party so they
| can arrange to meet up at the pub. The best solution here is
| just a IM group chat. Only problem is it isn't very
| discoverable to new members, but to some extent being hard to
| find is a feature itself.
| Dilettante_ wrote:
| "Geeks, MOPs and Psychopaths"1 is a good article about this,
| most importantly because it gives a grippy name to the
| phenomenon.
|
| 1https://meaningness.com/geeks-mops-sociopaths
| mightybyte wrote:
| It definitely has things in common with meetup.com. But it
| looks meaningfully distinct to me because the appear to
| specifically have some kind of strong preference against
| connected devices. Honestly, I've been wishing for things in
| this vein recently because of the feeling that our world is
| growing too superficial with our faces buried in phones and
| being fed by addictive algorithms.
|
| That being said, I think you're right about some of the
| challenges that an effort like this will encounter.
| yallpendantools wrote:
| > 2. Ensuring that people who said "I'm going" actually end up
| going.
|
| Super interested in how people solved/compensated for this
| problem. The approach I've found works best is to make the
| event, basically, "open-doors" (i.e., the RSVP is not actually
| required, chance attendees always welcome), and hope for the
| best. Someone mentioned personally messaging people but, well,
| that's a lot of work for something not my dayjob.
|
| Been hosting a weekly meet-up for over a year now and there are
| some factors which I think contribute to this problem:
|
| A. We set-up an auto-recurring meet-up event. People sign-up
| for the events happening within the next month; hence they
| fill-up quickly. However, as more people discover the event,
| they find them already fully-booked. These people end up
| booking for the waitlist and/or _the next events that are not
| yet full_ (i.e., event slots more than one month ahead). This
| creates a negative feedback loop. (This January, I had sign-ups
| for up to May!)
|
| B. With a long waitlist from [A] people who signed-up would
| tend to cancel last-minute. At that point the people in the
| waitlist have made other plans already and end up a no-show or
| just canceling too, sometimes after they already got a slot.
| This, again, creates a negative feedback loop.
|
| This year, aside from open-doors policy, I've started
| overbooking the event on purpose to combat [B]. It's sort of
| effective though every week I'm playing the airline overbooking
| problem. This calendar year, I've only been "overbooked" once.
| I'm also, naturally, wary of first-timers who might be a
| nuisance (e.g. but not only: parent's [5] but
| s/organizers/attendees/) but so far I wouldn't really say that
| has been a problem. Maybe the type of our meet-up organically
| filters for it (we're an art hobby group and if you can't sit
| still just trying to draw for 2h, or are not interested at all
| in learning about art and drawing, you will have a very awkward
| 2h).
| marcus_holmes wrote:
| I ran a bunch of events over a decade or so (in Australia),
| and found:
|
| 1. If the event was free, I would get roughly 66% attendance.
| Adding sponsored beer/pizza increased this, but only to about
| 75%.
|
| 2. If the event was paid, I got roughly 95% attendance, but a
| much lower audience, depending on price (and if the price was
| high enough, I'd get requests for refunds from people who
| couldn't attend).
|
| If the venue space was limited, I'd overbook based on the
| above and it usually worked out OK.
| elcapitan wrote:
| Is there any reasonable non-commercial replacement for Meetup
| on the horizon?
|
| I used to go to some hiking and bike riding meetups years ago,
| and those types obviously don't end up as sales events, but
| they still had issues with the weird Meetup system where people
| "had to" take charge of groups and pay somehow etc.
|
| I remember that every time I had taken part in one of those
| groups, the next time it was somehow some slightly different
| variation of the same group under a different name that I had
| to find using their search. All just for the internal workings
| and politics of the Meetup system.
| joacon wrote:
| I have created one, called Connective:
|
| PlayStore: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.
| connectify... AppStore:
| https://apps.apple.com/us/app/connectiveapp/id6624294792
|
| Maybe is not the best, and I'm still working to improve it
| and add new functionalities. The major problem now is we
| don't have much users, so there is few content.
|
| Feel free to use it and if you have any questions, please let
| me know
| kilroy123 wrote:
| I like it, but I find it ironic that it's just https://lu.ma/
| embedded on a website.
|
| The London page:
| https://lu.ma/embed/calendar/cal-8hcK7emYCS5LbFl/events?lt=l...
| PolyBaker wrote:
| I like how this is an online article
| booleandilemma wrote:
| Site is up.
| aryehof wrote:
| Makes me think about starting a non-profit club at a physical
| location. Some comfortable chairs etc. Just a quiet place to go
| read or be in the proximity of others. Perhaps with rules about
| what's allowed:
|
| - Members only (guests have to join)
|
| - No disturbing others
|
| - Quiet voices only
|
| - No soliciting
|
| - No electronic devices
| zkhrv wrote:
| If you squint a little bit, what you are describing is a
| (public) library.
| cjs_ac wrote:
| Points 1 and 4 (and in some cases, Point 5) are a Private
| Members' Club:
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_members%27_club
|
| Points 2 and 3 are the Diogenes Club:
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diogenes_Club
| quijoteuniv wrote:
| I was expecting some kind of joke that the website was not
| available
| JR1427 wrote:
| I used to think I didn't like clubs and societies. Then I joined
| a local sailing club, and I love it. Lots of nice people, all
| with a shared interest, but many other non-shared interests that
| make it even more interesting!
|
| I would definitely recommend looking for clubs like this.
| lfxyz wrote:
| I attended one of their events a few months ago in Amsterdam. You
| have to hand in your phone when entering the venue and get it
| back afterwards. I spent around 2 hours reading my kindle in
| silence. It was really nice being in a space where everyone had
| put their phones away, but paying 10 euros for the privilege of
| doing so means I'm unlikely to turn up regularly when I could
| just go to a cafe and put my phone on airplane mode for free.
| benchly wrote:
| Maybe it's just part of the reflexes I've developed in recent
| years as an American, but there is never going to be a day
| where I hand my phone off to anyone for any reason. Not because
| I am addicted to it, but because there is simply too much PII
| and sensitive content to protect on it.
|
| Why not just trust people to keep their phone in their pocket
| when out at a social gathering that was formed for the
| expressed purpose of disconnecting? Wouldn't that also help the
| person break the habit of checking their phone frequently while
| also knowing it is still there?
|
| A few years ago, I realized my screentime was getting out of
| control. Being a person who has a history of substance abuse
| (and recovery), I recognize addiction when I see it. So, I took
| some measure to minimize my use.
|
| 1. Remove all non-essential apps. Games, news apps, social
| media...basically anything that was not helping me get
| something done. I ended up left with email (work) any my
| banking or payment apps, while all the "fun" apps got installed
| on my tablet that stays at home.
|
| 2. Use a minimalist app launcher overlay. It's actually crazy
| how the removal of graphical icons helps, turning everything in
| lists of words, making you have to think about why you just
| unlocked your phone and find the specific app instead of
| something like "oh, there's Discord, I might as well check that
| while I have my phone open. These launchers also tend to have
| built-in blockers for notifications.
|
| It seems like these were two simple things, but they were not.
| Especially at first. For about the first month, I found myself
| pulling my phone out for no reason, since the trigger that was
| making me do it (boredom, anxiety, FOMO) was still there, but I
| learned to cope with them and eventually they faded.
|
| I would not have accomplished that by handing my phone off to
| other people, which actually makes me more paranoid about
| what's going given modern privacy concerns. In the US, we even
| campaign against handing your phone over to law enforcement
| since the implicit trust has been broken one too many times. Do
| Europeans share this anxiety?
| trinix912 wrote:
| Very valid points regarding handing your phone to someone. I
| too don't think the whole lockbox thing is a good solution.
|
| There are places/"events" in Europe where people keep their
| phones off seemingly without problem (ex. going to the
| church). But they still have their phones so if there's an
| emergency, one can just go out the building and pick up that
| call.
|
| The problem with events is lots of times, people don't go to
| them to knit together, they go there for networking, so then
| getting someone's LinkedIn/Instagram/Etsy/... is
| (unfortunately) the end goal. If we could change that, I
| think most people wouldn't even need to take their phones
| out. Perhaps an after-meetup list of all attendees with their
| LinkedIn/socials? But then again we're at the privacy
| concerns.
| benchly wrote:
| Also a good point. I'm old enough to remember when a
| gathering for the purposes of networking was really about
| collecting business cards. It seems like they end up in the
| trash more than ever, these days (which makes it tough for
| me to show people what I do since I'm anti-social media and
| wear many hats, but that's another blog post).
|
| In all honesty, though, I'm the type of person who would
| actually show up to knit. Networking tends to be an
| annoyance, to me, but I also forgive it since I understand
| that it can be important and lead to some great
| opportunities. When I meet people, I usually don't ask
| about what they do for work. That will come out in the
| natural course of conversation if the person enjoys what
| they do. If not, then I'd rather talk about something else
| anyway. Typically, I like to start with people's hobbies
| and interests. In my experience, you get a deeper
| connection that way.
|
| Perhaps doing away with the "networking" mindset is the
| key? We have to find a way to make the focus on the
| experience, as opposed to forced meetings/relationship,
| which work mixers tend to feel like.
|
| Using a real example from my own life, I went to a basket
| weaving class once. It was fun, but not something I wanted
| to pursue as a regular hobby. However, while there, I met
| the spouse of a practicing blacksmith and found out there
| is a network of "folk craft" people in my state doing
| really interesting things in terms of keeping the old
| traditional methods alive but incorporating modern
| materials. That saw me attending some blacksmithing classes
| and forging a few of my own knives.
|
| It was all about the experience I was having with the
| people around me, through which relationships and talk of
| our careers naturally developed, leaving me to want to
| continue to keep in touch them.
| kgwxd wrote:
| > Why not just trust people to keep their phone in their
| pocket when out at a social gathering that was formed for the
| expressed purpose of disconnecting?
|
| Ever meet people that believe, to their core, that they are
| the exception? There's always at least 1 in every crowd.
| Can't relax properly when you're anticipating a selfish prick
| will reveal themselves at any moment.
| kgwxd wrote:
| Don't even bring your phone, feels even better.
| esher wrote:
| Original poster here. I have no affiliation to it. Just found it,
| guessed it will spark some interest here, which it did. I thought
| about going to one event in Berlin, but it's in a hipster area.
| syhol wrote:
| I got excited when I saw the title, thinking it was local-first
| software advocacy. But I guess if local-first software advocacy
| gets me excited, then maybe I should turn off the screen and
| touch some grass.
| CompoundEyes wrote:
| This reminded me of the Stoop Coffee post from awhile back. Many
| are yearning for these analog connections and trying to crack the
| code for making it deliberate, inviting and low barrier to entry.
| I don't think it's just a reaction to everyone being online --
| books like Bowling Alone in the late 90s were calling out other
| trends leading to disconnect.
|
| https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=43473618
| drakonka wrote:
| This looks like Meetup or Facebook events. I'm not entirely sure
| what the need for another platform is and won't use it myself to
| organize my events as others have larger user bases, but the
| website looks quirky and fun.
| ai-christianson wrote:
| Classic network effects vs. product scenario.
| joacon wrote:
| I have created one app called Connective, kind of the same.
| People can create and join events near
|
| PlayStore:
| https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.connectify...
| AppStore:
| https://apps.apple.com/us/app/connectiveapp/id6624294792
|
| Maybe is not the best, and I'm still working to improve it and
| add new functionalities. The major problem now is we don't have
| much users, so there is few content.
|
| Feel free to use it and if you have any questions, please let me
| know
| kardianos wrote:
| As an alternative:
|
| * Go ballroom dancing. * Go square dancing. * Go to the library
| and read their historical non-fiction primary sources (letters
| and journals). * Go to church (I'm serious, even if you are an
| atheist). * Go roller skating at a rink. * Go ice skating. * Go
| paint balling. * Go to a water park. * Go to your HOA/City/County
| board/commissioners meetings. * Go to your state legislature
| meetings. * Go to a volunteer firefighters informational meeting.
| * Go to a plant/flower (orchid/African violate) growers club. *
| Go to a sewing club. * Go to a fishing class or just fish. * Go
| to a hunting/gun class or just hunt/shoot.
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