For the first, you take an amount, we'll call it 3 parts, of Colmans

For the first, you take an amount, we'll call it 3 parts, of Colmans
mustard powder. With one part volume for volume of vinegar and one
part volume for volume of water, stir until fully mixed. The result
should be a thick paste. Top with water if it's too dry to stir.

This paste is a culinarily important condiment: hasty mustard. A
useful substitute for the real deal. Hasty mustard is also an
effective riot control agent if diluted with a mixture of two parts
each vinegar and water. Use within 12 hours, as the riot control
effect lessens as the mustard ages. Ideally, it is sprayed from
a motorised spray bottle, for close-range deterrence. It is not
guaranteed that it will work for this and we, the Umbrellix
administration, do hereby disclaim any responsibility for any
assault that may occur as a result of, or despite, your use
of this information in an attempt to protect yourself from people
who believe your personal space may be infringed with impunity.