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ST. AMBROSE
CONCERNING WIDOWS.
[Translated by the Rev. H. de Romestin, M.A., of St. John's College,
Oxford, and Rector of Tiptree, Essex, with the assistance of the Rev. E. de
Romestin, M.A., of New College, Oxford, and the Rev. H. T. F. Duckworth,
M.A., of Merton College, Oxford.]
CHAPTER I.
After having written about virgins, it seemed needful to say something
concerning widows, since the Apostle joins the two classes together, and
the latter are as it were teachers of the former, and far superior to those
who are married. Elijah was sent to a widow, a great mark of honour; yet
widows are not honourable like her of Sarepta, unless they copy her
virtues, notably hospitality. The avarice of men is rebuked, who forfeit
the promises of God by their grasping.
1. Since I have treated of the honour of virgins in three books, it is
fitting now, my brethren, that a treatise concerning widows should come in
order; for I ought not to leave them without honour, nor to separate them
from the commendation belonging to virgins, since the voice of the Apostle
has joined them to virgins, according to what is written: "The unmarried
woman and the virgin careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be
holy both in body and in spirit."(1) For in a certain manner the
inculcation of virginity is strengthened by the example of widows. They who
have preserved their marriage bed undefiled are a testimony to virgins that
chastity is to be preserved for God. And it is almost a mark of no less
virtue to abstain from marriage, which was once a delight, than to remain
ignorant of the pleasures of wedlock. They are strong in each point, in
that they regret not wedlock, the faith of which they keep, and entangle
not themselves with wedded pleasures, lest they appear weak and not able to
take care of themselves.
2. But in this particular virtue is contained also the prizes of
liberty. For: "The wife is bound as long as her husband liveth; but if her
husband fall asleep she is freed: let her marry whom she will, only in the
Lord. But she will be happier if she so abide, after my judgment, for I
think I also have the Spirit of God."(1) Evidently, then, the Apostle has
expressed the difference, having said that the one is bound, and stated
that the other is happier, and that he asserts not so much as the result of
his own judgment, as of the infusion of the Spirit of God; that the
decision should be seen to be heavenly, not human.
3. And what is the teaching of the fact that at that time when the
whole human race was afflicted by famine and Elias was sent to the
widow?(2) And see how for each is reserved her own special grace. An angel
is sent to the Virgin,(3) a prophet to the widow. Notice, farther, that in
one case it is Gabriel, in the other Elisha. The most excellent chiefs of
the number of angels and prophets are seen to be chosen. But there is no
praise simply in widowhood, unless there be added the virtues of widowhood.
For, indeed, there were many widows, but one is preferred to all, in which
fact it is not so much that others are called back from their pursuit as
that they are stimulated by the example of virtue.
4. What is said at first makes the ears attentive, although the
simplicity itself of the understanding has weight to attract widows to the
pattern of virtue; since each seems to excel, not according to her
profession, but her merit, and the grace of hospitality is not lost sight
of by God, Who, as He Himself related in the Gospel, rewards a cup of cold
water with the exceeding recompense of eternity, and compensates the small
measure of meal and oil by an unfailing abundance of plenty ever coming in.
For if one of the heathen(4) has said that all the possessions of friends
should be common, how much more ought those of relatives to be common! For
we are relatives who are bound into one body.
5. But we are not bound by any prescribed limit of hospitality. For why
do you think that what is of this world is private property when this world
is common? Or why do you consider the fruits of the earth are private, when
the earth itself is common property? "Behold," He said, "the fowls of the
air, they sow not, neither do they reap."(1) For to those to whom nothing
is private property nothing is wanting, and God, the master of His own
word, knows how to keep His promise. Again, the birds do not gather
together, and yet they eat, for our heavenly Father feeds them. But we
turning aside the warnings of a general utterance to our private advantage,
God says: "Every tree which has in it the fruit of a tree yielding seed
shall be to you for meat, and to every beast, and to every bird, and to
everything that creepeth upon the earth."(2) By gathering together we come
to want, and by gathering together we are made empty. For we cannot hope
for the promise, who keep not the saying. It is also good for us to attend
to the precept of hospitality, to be ready to give to strangers, for we,
too, are strangers in the world.
6. But how holy was that widow, who, when pinched by extreme hunger.
observed the reverence due to God, and was not using the food for herself
alone, but was dividing it with her son, that she might not outlive her
dear offspring. Great is the duty of affection, but that of religion brings
more return. For as no one ought to be set before her son, so the prophet
of God ought to be set before her son and her preservation. For she is to
be believed to have given to him not a little food, but the whole support
of her life, who left nothing for herself. So hospitable was she that she
gave the whole, so full of faith that she believed at once.
CHAPTER II.
The precepts of the Apostle concerning a widow indeed are laid down, such
as, that she bring up children, attend to her parents, desire to please
God, show herself irreproachable, set forth a ripeness of merits, have been
the wife of one man. St. Ambrose notes, however, that a second marriage was
not condemned by St. Paul, and adds that widows must have a good report for
virtue with all. The reasons why younger widows are to be avoided, and what
is meant by its being better to marry than to burn. St. Ambrose then goes
on to speak of the dignity of widows, shown by the fact that any injury
done to them is visited by the anger of God.
7. So, then, a widow is not only marked off by bodily abstinence, but
is distinguished by virtue, to whom I do not give commandments, but the
Apostle. I am not the only person to do them honour, but the Doctor of the
Gentiles did so first, when he said: "Honour widows that are widows indeed.
But if any widow have children or nephews, let her first learn to govern
her own house, and to requite her parents."(1) Whence we observe that each
inclination of affection ought to exist in a widow, to love her children
and to do her duty to her parents. So when discharging her duty to her
parents she is teaching her children, and is rewarded herself by her own
compliance with duty, in that what she performs for others benefits
herself.
8. "For this," says he, "is acceptable with God." (2) So that if thou,
O widow, carest for the things of God, thou oughtest to follow after that
which thou hast learnt to be well pleasing to God. And, indeed, the Apostle
somewhat farther back,(3) exhorting widows to the pursuit of continence,
said that they mind the things of the Lord. But elsewhere, when a widow who
is approved is to be selected, she is bidden not only to bear in mind but
also to hope in the Lord: "For she that is a widow indeed," it is said,
"and desolate, must hope in God, and be instant in supplications and
prayers night and day."(4) And not without reason does he show that these
ought to be blameless, to whom, as virtuous works are enjoined, so, too,
great respect is paid, so that they are honoured even by bishops.
9. And of what kind she ought to be who is chosen the description is
given in the words of the teacher himself: "Not less than threescore years
old, having been the wife of one man."(5) Not that old age alone makes the
widow,(6) but that the merits of the widow are the duties of old age. For
she certainly is the more noble who represses the heat of youth, and the
impetuous ardour of youthful age, desiring neither the tenderness of a
husband, nor the abundant delights of children, rather than one who, now
worn out in body, cold in age, of ripe years, can neither grow warm with
pleasures, nor hope for offspring.
10. Nor in truth is any one excluded from the devotion of widowhood, if
after entering upon a second marriage, which the precepts of the Apostle
certainly do not condemn as though the fruit of chastity were lost, if she
be again loosed from her husband. She will have, indeed, the merit of her
chastity, even if it be tardy, but she will be more approved who has tried
a second marriage, for the desire of chastity is conspicuous in her, for
the other old age or shame seems to have put an end to marrying.
11. Nor yet is bodily chastity alone the strong purpose of the widow,
but a large and most abundant exercise of virtue. "Well reported of for
good works, if she have brought up children; if she have lodged strangers;
if she have washed the saints' feet; if she have ministered to those
suffering tribulation; if, lastly, she have followed after every good
work."(1) You see how many practices of virtue he has included. He demands,
first of all, the duty of piety; secondly, the practice of hospitality and
humble service; thirdly, the ministry of mercy and liberality in assisting;
and, lastly, the performance of every good work.
12. And he, therefore, that the younger should be avoided,(2) because
they are not able to fulfil the requirements of so high a degree of virtue.
For youth is prone to fall because the heat of various desires is inflamed
by the warmth of glowing youth, and it is the part of a good doctor to keep
off the materials of sin. For the first exercise in training the soul is to
turn away sin, the second to implant virtue. Yet, since the Apostle knew
that Anna, the widow of fourscore years, from her youth was a herald of the
works of the Lord, I do not think that he thought that the younger should
be excluded from the devotion of widowhood, especially as he said: "It is
better to marry than to burn."(3) For certainly he recommended marriage as
a remedy, that she who would else perish might be saved; he did not
prescribe the choice that one who could contain should not follow chastity,
for it is one thing to succour one who is falling, another to persuade to
virtue.
13. And what shall I say of human judgments, since in the judgments of
God the Jews are set forth as having offended the Lord in nothing more than
violating what was due to the widow and the rights of minors? This is
proclaimed by the voices of the prophets as the cause which brought upon
the Jews the penalty of rejection. This is mentioned as the only cause
which will mitigate the wrath of God against their sin. if they honour the
widow, and execute true judgment for minors, for thus we read: "Judge the
fatherless, deal justly with the widow, and come let us reason together,
saith the Lord."(1) And elsewhere: "The Lord shall maintain the orphan and
the widow."(2) And again: "I will abundantly bless her widow."(3) Wherein
also the likeness of the Church is foreshadowed. You see, then, holy
widows, that that office which is honoured by the assistance of divine
grace must not be degraded by impure desire.
CHAPTER III.
St. Ambrose returns to the story of the widow of Sarepta, and shows that
she represented the Church, hence that she was an example to virgins,
married women, and widows. Then he refers to the prophet as setting forth
Christ, inasmuch as he foretold the mysteries and the rain which was to
come. Next he touches upon and explains the twofold sign of Gideon, and
points out that it is not in every one's power to work miracles, and that
the Incarnation of Christ and the rejection of the Jews were foreshadowed
in that account.
14. To return to what was treated of above,(4) what is the meaning of
the fact that when there was a very great famine in all the land, yet the
care of God was not wanting to the widow, and the prophet was sent to
sustain her? And when in this story the Lord warns me that He is about to
speak in truth,(5) He seems to bid my ears attend to a mystery. For what
can be more true than the mystery of Christ and the Church? Not, then,
without a purpose is one preferred amongst many widows. Who is such an one,
to whom so great a prophet who was carried up into heaven, should be
guided, especially at that time when the heaven was shut for three years
and six months, when there was a great famine in the whole land? The famine
was everywhere, and yet notwithstanding this widow did not want. What are
these three years? Are they not, perchance, those in which the Lord came to
the earth and could not find fruit on the fig-tree, according to that which
is written: "Behold, there are three years that I came seeking fruit on
this fig-tree, and find none."(6)
15. This is assuredly that widow of whom it was said: "Rejoice, thou
barren that bearest not, break forth and cry, thou that availest not with
child; for many are the children of the desolate, more than of her who hath
an husband."(7) And well is she a widow of whom it is well said: "Thou
shalt not remember thy shame and thy widowhood, for I am the Lord Who make
thee."(1) And perchance therefore is she a widow who has lost her Husband
indeed in the suffering of His body, but in the day of judgment shall
receive again the Son of Man Whom she seemed to have lost. "For a short
time have i forsaken thee,"(2) He says, in order that, being forsaken, she
may the more gloriously keep her faith.
16. All, then, have an example to imitate, virgins, married women, and
widows. And perchance is the Church therefore a virgin, married, and a
widow, because they are one body in Christ. She is then that widow for
Whose sake when there was a dearth of the heavenly Word on earth, the
prophets were appointed, for there was a widow who was barren, yet reserved
her bringing forth for its own time.
17. So that his person does not seem to us of small account, who by his
word moistened the dry earth with the dew of heaven, and unlocked the
closed heavens certainly not by human power. For who is he who can open the
heavens except Christ, for Whom daily out of sinners food is gathered, an
increase for the Church? For it is not in the power of man to say: "The
barrel of meal shall not waste, and the cruse of oil shall not fail, until
the day on which the Lord shall send rain on the earth,''(8) For though it
be the rule of the prophets to speak thus, the voice is in truth that of
the Lord. And so it is stated first: "For thus saith the Lord."(4) For it
is of the Lord to vouch for a continuance of heavenly sacraments, and to
promise that the grace of spiritual joy shall not fail, to grant the
defences of life, the seals of faith, the gifts of virtues.
18. But what does this mean: "Until the day on which the Lord shall
send rain on the earth"? except that He, too, "shall come down like rain
upon a fleece, and like the drops that water the earth."(5) In which
passage is disclosed the mystery of the old history where Gideon, the
warrior of the mystic conflict, receiving the pledge of future victory,
recognized the spiritual sacrament in the vision of his mind, that that
rain was the dew of the Divine Word, which first came down on the fleece,
when all the earth was parched with continual drought, and by a second true
sign, moistened the floor of all the earth with a shower, whilst dryness
was upon the fleece.(6)
19. For the prescient man observed the sign of the future growth of the
Church. For first in Judges the dew of the divine utterance began to give
moisture (for "in Jewry is God known"),(1) whilst the whole earth remained
without the dew of faith. But when Joseph's flock began to deny God, and by
venturing on various enormous offences to incur guilt before God, then when
the dew of the heavenly shower was poured on the whole earth, the people of
the Jews began to grow dry and parched in their own unbelief, when the
clouds of prophecy and the healthful shower of the Apostles watered the
holy Church gathered together from all parts of the world. This is that
rain, now condensed from earthly moisture, now from mountain mists, but
diffused throughout the whole world in the salutary shower of the heavenly
Scriptures.
20. By this example, then, it is shown that not all can merit the
miracles of divine power, but they who are aided by the pursuits of
religious devotion, and that they lose the fruits of divine working who are
devoid of reverence for heaven. It is also shown in a mystery that the Son
of God, in order to restore the Church, took upon Himself the mystery of a
human body, casting off the Jewish people, from whom the counsellor and the
prophet and the miracles of the divine benefits were taken away, because
that as it were by a kind of national blemish they were not willing to
believe in the Son of God.
CHAPTER IV.
By the example of Anna St. Ambrose shows what ought to be the life of
widows, and shows that she was an example of chastity at every age. From
this he argues that there are three degrees of the same virtue, all of
which are included in the Church, and sets forth several examples in Mary,
in Anna, and in Susanna. But, he adds, the state of virginity is superior
to either of the others, but that a widow ought to take greater care for
the preservation of her good name.
21. Scripture then teaches as how much grace is conferred by unity, and
how great is the gift of divine blessing in widows. And since such honour
is given them by God, we must observe what mode of life corresponds
thereto; for Anna shows what widows ought to be, who, left destitute by the
early death of her husband, yet obtained the reward of full praise, being
intent not less on the duties of religion than on the pursuit of chastity.
A widow, it is said, of fourscore and four years, a widow who departed not
from the temple, a widow who served God night and day with fastings and
with prayers.(1)
22. You see what sort of person a widow is said to be, the wife of one
man, tested also by the progress of age, vigorous in religion, and worn out
in body, whose resting-place is the temple, whose conversation is prayer,
whose life is fasting, who in the times of day and night by a service of
unwearied devotion, though the body acknowledge old age, yet knows no age
in her piety. Thus is a widow trained from her youth, thus is she spoken of
in her age, who has kept her widowhood not through the chance of time, nor
through weakness of body, but by large-heartedness in virtue. For when it
is said that she was for seven years from her virginity with her husband,
it is a setting forth that the things which are the support of her old age
began in the aims of her youth.
23. And so we are taught that the virtue of chastity is threefold, one
kind that of married life, a second that of widowhood, and the third that
of virginity, for we do not so set forth one as to exclude others. These
result each in that which belongs to each. The training of the Church is
rich in this, that it has those whom it may set before others, but has none
whom it rejects, and would that it never could have any! We have so spoken
of virginity as not to reject widowhood, we so reverence widows as to
reserve its own honour for wedlock. It is not our precepts but the divine
sayings which teach this.
24. Let us remember then how Mary, how Anna, and how Susanna are spoken
of. But since not only must we celebrate their praises but also follow
their manner of life, let us remember where Susanna,(2) and Anna,(3) and
Mary(4) are found, and observe how each is spoken of with her special
commendation, and where each is mentioned, she that is married in the
garden, the widow in the temple, the virgin in her secret chamber.
25. But in the former the fruit is later, in virginity it is earlier;
old age proves them, virginity is the praise of youth, and does not need
the help of years, being the fruit of every age. It becomes early years, it
adorns youth, it adds to the dignity of age, and at all ages it has the
gray hairs of its righteousness, the ripeness of its gravity, the veil of
modesty, which does hinder devotion and increases religion. For we see by
what follows that holy Mary went every year with Joseph to Jerusalem on the
solemn day of the passover.(1) Everywhere in company with the Virgin is
eager devotion and a zealous sharer of her chastity. Nor is the Mother of
the Lord puffed up, as though secure of her own merits, but the more she
recognized her merit, the more fully did she pay her vows, the more
abundantly did she perform her service, the more fully did she discharge
her office, the more religiously did she perform her duty and fill up the
mystic time.
26. How much more then does it beseem you to be intent on the pursuit
of chastity, t you leave any place for unfavourable opinion who have the
evidence of your modesty and your behaviour alone. For a virgin, though in
her also character rather than the body has the first claim, puts away
calumny by the integrity of her body, a widow who has lost the assistance
of being able to prove her virginity undergoes the inquiry as to her
chastity not according to the word of a midwife, but according to her own
manner of life. Scripture, then, has shown how attentive and religious
should be the disposition of a widow.
CHAPTER V.
Liberality to the poor is recommended by the example of the widow m the
Gospel, whose two mites were preferred to the large gifts of the rich. The
two mites are treated as mystically representing the two Testaments. What
that treasure is for which we are taught to offer, after the example of the
wise men, three gifts, or after that of the widow, two. St. Ambrose
concludes the chapter by an exhortation to widows to be zealous in good
works.
27. In the same book, too, but in another place, we are taught how
fitting it is to be merciful and liberal towards the poor, and that this
feeling should not be checked by the consideration of our poverty, since
liberality is determined not by the amount of our possessions, but by the
disposition of giving. For by the voice of the Lord that widow is preferred
to all of whom it was said: "This widow hath cast in more than all."(2) In
which instance the Lord characteristically teaches all, that none should be
held back from giving assistance through shame at his own poverty, and that
the rich should not flatter themselves that they seem to give more than the
poor. For the piece of money out of a small stock is richer than treasures
out of abundance, because it is not the amount that is given but the amount
that remains which is considered. No one gives more than she who has left
nothing for herself.
28. Why do you, rich woman, boast yourself by comparison with the poor,
and when you are all loaded with gold, and drag along the ground a costly
robe, desire to be honoured as though she were inferior and small in
comparison with your riches, because you have surpassed the needy with your
gifts? Rivers too overflow, when they are too full, but a draught from a
brook is more pleasant. New wine foams while fermenting, and the husbandman
does not consider as lost that which runs over. While the harvest is being
threshed out, grains of corn fall from the groaning floor; but though the
harvests fail, the barrel of meal wastes not, and the cruse full of oil
gives forth.(1) But the draught emptied the casks of the rich, while the
tiny cruse of oil of the widow gave abundance. That, then, is to be
reckoned which you give for devotion, not what you cast forth disdainfully.
For in fine, no one gave more than she who fed the prophet with her
children's nourishment. And so since no one gave more, no one had greater
merit. This has a moral application.
29. And considering the mystical sense, one must not despise this woman
casting in two mites into the treasury. Plainly the woman was noble who in
the divine judgment was found worthy to be preferred to all. Perchance it
is she who of her faith has given two testaments for the help of man, and
so no one has done more. Nor could any one equal the amount of her gift,
who joined faith with mercy. Do you, then, whoever you are, who exercise
your life the practice of widowhood, not hesitate to cast into the treasury
the two mites, full of faith and grace.
30. Happy is she who out of her treasure brings forth the perfect image
of the King. Your treasure is wisdom, your treasure is chastity and
righteousness, your treasure is a good understanding, such as was that
treasure from which the Magi, when they worshipped the Lord, brought forth
gold, frankincense, and myrrh;(2) setting forth by gold the power of a
king, venerating God by the frankincense, and by myrrh acknowledging the
resurrection of the body. You too have this treasure if you look into
yourself: "For we have this treasure in earthen vessels."(3) You have gold
which you can give, for God does not exact of you the precious gift of
shining metal, but that gold which at the day of judgment the fire shall be
unable to consume. Nor does He require precious gifts, but the good odour
of faith, which the altars of your heart send forth and the disposition of
a religious mind exhales.
31. From this treasure, then, not only the three gifts of the Magi but
also the two mites of the widow are taken, on which the perfect image of
the heavenly King shines forth, the brightness of His glory and the image
of His substance. Precious, too, are those hardly earned gains of chastity
which the widow gives of her labour and daily task, continually night and
day working at her task, and by the wakeful labour of her profitable
chastity gathering treasure; that she may preserve the couch of her
deceased husband unviolated, be able to support her dear children, and to
minister to the poor. She is to be preferred to the rich, she it is who
shall not fear the judgment of Christ.
32. Strive to equal her, my daughters: "It is good to be zealously
affected in a good thing."(1) "Covet earnestly the best gifts"(2) The Lord
is ever looking upon you, Jesus looks upon you when He goes to the
treasury, and you think that of the gain of your good works assistance is
to be given to those in need. What is it, then, that you should give your
two mites and gain in return the Lord's Body? Go not, then, empty into the
sight of the Lord your God,(3) empty of mercy, empty of faith, empty of
chastity; for the Lord Jesus is wont to look upon and to commend not the
empty, but those who are rich in virtues. Let the maiden see you at work,
let her see you ministering to others. For this is the return which you owe
to God, that you should make your return to God from the progress of
others. No return is more acceptable to God than the offerings of piety.
CHAPTER VI.
Naomi is an instance of a widow receiving back from her daughter-in-law the
fruits of her own good training, and is a token that necessary support will
never fail the good widow. And if her life appears sad, she is happy, since
the promises of the Lord are made to her. St. Ambrose then touches upon the
benefits of weeping.
33. Does the widow Naomi seem to you of small account, who supported
her widowhood on the gleanings from another's harvest, and who, when heavy
with age, was supported by her daughter-in-law?(1) It is a great benefit
both for the support and for the advantage of widows, that they so train
their daughters-in-law as to have in them a support in full old age, and,
as it were, payment for their teaching and reward for their training. For
to her who has well taught and well instructed her daughter-in-law a Ruth
will never be wanting who will prefer the widowed life of her mother-in-law
to her father's house, and if her husband also be dead, will not leave her,
will support her in need, comfort her in sorrow, and not leave her if sent
away; for good instruction will never know want. So that Naomi, deprived of
her husband and her two sons, having lost the offspring of her
fruitfulness, lost not the reward of her pious care, for she found both a
comfort in sorrow and a support in poverty.
34. You see, then, holy women, how fruitful a widow is in the offspring
of virtues, and the results of her own merits, which cannot come to an end.
A good widow, then, knows no want, and if she be weary through age, in
extreme poverty, yet she has as a rule the reward of the training she has
given. Though the nearest to herself have failed, she finds those not so
near akin to cherish their mother, revere their parent, and by the trifling
gifts for her support desire to gain the fruit of their own kindness, for
richly are gifts to a widow repaid. She asks food and pays back treasures.
35. But she seems to spend sad days, and to pass her time in tears. And
she is the more blessed in this, for by a little weeping she purchases for
herself everlasting joys, and at the cost of a few moments gains eternity.
To such it is well said: "Blessed are ye that weep, for ye shall laugh."(2)
Who then would prefer the deceitful appearances of present joys to the
pleasure of future freedom from anxiety? Does he seem to us an
insignificant authority, the elect forefather of the Lord after the flesh,
who ate ashes as it were bread, and mingled his drink with weeping,(3) and
by his tears at night gained for himself the joy of redemption in the
morning? Whence did he gain that great joy except that he greatly wept,
and, as it were, at the price of his tears obtained the grace of future
glory for himself.
36. The widow has, then, this excellent recommendation, that while she
mourns her husband she also weeps for the world, and the redeeming tears
are ready, which shed for the dead will benefit the living. The weeping of
the eyes is fitted to the sadness of the mind, it arouses pity, lessens
labour, relieves grief, and preserves modesty, and she no longer seems to
herself so wretched, finding comfort in tears Which are the pay of love and
proofs of pious memory.
CHAPTER VII.
By the example of Judith is shown that courage is not wanting in widows;
her preparation for her visit to Holofernes is dwelt upon, as also her
chastity and her wisdom, her sobriety and moderation. Lastly, St. Ambrose,
after demonstrating that she was no less brave than prudent, sets forth her
modesty after her success.
37. But bravery also is usually not wanting to a good widow. For this
is true bravery, which surpasses the usual nature and the weakness of the
sex by the devotion of the mind, such as was in her who was named
Judith,(1) who of herself alone was able to rouse up from utter prostration
and defend from the enemy men broken down by the siege, smitten with fear,
and pining with hunger. For she, as we read, when Holofernes, dreaded after
his success in so many battles, had driven countless thousands of men
within the walls; when the armed men were afraid, and were already treating
about the final surrender, went forth outside the wall, both excelling that
army which she delivered, and braver than that which she put to flight.
38. But in order to learn the dispositions of ripe widowhood, run
through the course of the Scriptures. From the time when her husband died
she laid aside the garments of mirth, and took those of mourning. Every day
she was intent on fasting except on the Sabbath and the Lord's Day and the
times of holy days, not as yielding to desire of refreshment, but out of
respect for religion. For this is that which is said: "Whether ye eat or
drink, all is to be done in the name of Jesus Christ,"(2) that even the
very refreshment of the body is to have respect to the worship of holy
religion. So then, holy Judith,(3) strengthened by lengthened mourning and
by daily fasting, sought not the enjoyments of the world regardless of
danger, and strong in her contempt for death. In order to accomplish her
stratagem she put on that robe of mirth, wherewith in her husband's
lifetime she was wont to be clothed, as though she would give pleasure to
her husband, if she freed her country. But she saw another man whom she was
seeking to please, even Him, of Whom it is said: "After me cometh a Man Who
is preferred before me."(1) And she did well in resuming her bridal
ornaments when about to fight, for the reminders of wedlock are the arms of
chastity, and in no other way could a widow please or gain the victory.
39. Why relate the sequel? How she amongst thousands of enemies,
remained chaste. Why speak of her wisdom, in that she designed such a
scheme? She chose out the commander, to ward off from herself the insolence
of inferiors, and prepare an opportunity for victory. She reserved the
merit of abstinence and the grace of chastity. For unpolluted, as we read,
either by food or by adultery, she gained no less a triumph over the enemy
by preserving her chastity than by delivering her country.
40. What shall I say of her sobriety? Temperance, indeed, is the virtue
of women. When the men were intoxicated with wine and buried in sleep, the
widow took the sword, put forth her hand, cut off the warrior's head. and
passed unharmed through the midst of the ranks of the enemy. You notice,
then, how much drunkenness can injure a woman, seeing that wine so weakens
men that they are overcome by women. Let a widow, then, be temperate, pure
in the first place from wine, that she may be pure from adultery. He will
tempt you in vain, if wine tempts you not. For if Judith had drunk she
would have slept with the adulterer. But because she drank not, the
sobriety of one without difficulty was able both to overcome and to escape
from a drunken army.
41. And this was not so much a work of her hands, as much more a trophy
of her wisdom. For having overcome Holofernes by her hand alone, she
overcame the whole army of the enemies by her wisdom. For hanging up the
head of Holofernes, a deed which the wisdom of the men had been unable to
plan, she raised the courage of her countrymen, and broke down that of the
enemy. She stirred up her own friends by her modesty, and struck terror
into the enemy so that they were put to flight and slain. And so the
temperance and sobriety of one widow not only subdued her own nature, but,
which is far more, even made men more brave.
42. And yet she was not so elated by this success, though she might
well rejoice and exult by right of her victory, as to give up the exercises
of her widowhood, but refusing all who desired to wed her she laid aside
her garments of mirth and took again those of her widowhood, not caring for
the adornments of her triumph, thinking those things better whereby vices
of the body are subdued than those whereby the weapons of an enemy are
overcome.
CHAPTER VIII.
Though many other widows came near to Judith in virtue, St. Ambrose
proposes to speak of Deborah only. What a pattern of virtue she must have
been for widows, who was chosen to govern and defend men. It was no small
glory to her that when her son was over the host he refused to go forth to
battle unless she would go also. So that she led the army and foretold the
result. In this story the conflicts and triumphs of the Church, and her
spiritual weapons, are set forth, and every excuse of weakness is taken
from women.
43. And in order that it may not seem as if only one widow had
fulfilled this inimitable work, it seems in no Way doubtful that there were
many others of equal or almost equal virtue, for good seed corn usually
bears many ears filled with grains. Doubt not. then, that that ancient
seed-time was fruitful in the characters of many women. But as it would be
tedious to include all, consider some, and especially Deborah,(1) whose
virtue Scripture records for us.
44. For she showed not only that widows have no need of the help of a
man, inasmuch as she, not at all restrained by the weakness of her sex,
undertook to perform the duties of a man, and did even more than she had
undertaken. And, at last, when the Jews were being ruled under the
leadership of the judges, because they could not govern them with manly
justice, or defend them with manly strength, and so wars broke out on all
sides, they chose Deborah,(2) by whose judgment they might be ruled. And so
one widow both ruled many thousands of men in peace, and defended them from
the enemy. There were many judges in Israel, but no woman before was a
judge, as after Joshua there were many judges but none was a prophet. And I
think that her judgeship has been narrated, and her deeds described, that
women should not be restrained from deeds of valour by the weakness of
their sex. A widow, she governs the people; a widow, she leads armies; a
widow, she chooses generals; a widow, she determines wars and orders
triumphs. So, then, it is not nature which is answerable for the fault or
which is liable to weakness. It is not sex, but valour which makes strong.
45. And in time of peace there is no complaint, and no fault is found
in this woman whereas most of the judges were causes of no small sins to
the people. But when the Canaanites, a people fierce in battle and rich in
troops, successively joined them, showed a horrible disposition against the
people of the Jews, this widow, before all others, made all the
preparations for war. And to show that the needs of the household were not
dependent on the public resources, but rather that public duties were
guided by the discipline of home life, she brings forth from her home her
son as leader of the army, that we may acknowledge that a widow can train a
warrior; whom, as a mother, she taught, and, as judge, placed in command,
as, being herself brave, she trained him, and, as a prophetess, sent to
certain victory.
46. And lastly, her son Barak shows the chief part of the victory was
in the hands of a woman when he said: "If thou wilt not go with me I will
not go, for I know not the day on which the Lord sendeth His angel with
me."(1) How great, then, was the might of that woman to whom the leader of
the army says, "If thou wilt not go I will not go." How great, I say, the
fortitude of the widow who keeps not back her son from dangers through
motherly affection, but rather with the zeal of a mother exhorts her son to
go forth to victory, while saying that the decisive point of that victory
is m the hand of a woman!
47. So, then, Deborah foretold the event of the battle. Barak, as he
was bidden, led forth the army; Jael carried off the triumph, for the
prophecy of Deborah fought for her, who in a mystery revealed to us the
rising of the Church from among the Gentiles, for whom should be found a
triumph over Sisera, that is, over the powers opposed to her. For us, then,
the oracles of the prophets fought, for us those judgments and arms of the
prophets won the victory. And for this reason it was not the people of the
Jews but Jael who gained the victory over the enemy. Unhappy, then, was
that people which could not follow up by the virtue of faith the enemy,
whom it had put to flight. And so by their fault salvation came to the
Gentiles, by their sluggishness the victory was reserved for us.
48. Jael then destroyed Sisera, whom however the band of Jewish
veterans had put to flight under their brilliant' leader, for this is the
interpretation of the name Barak; for often, as we read, the sayings and
merits of the prophets procured heavenly aid for the fathers. But even at
that time was victory being prepared over spiritual wickedness for those to
whom it is said in the Gospel: "Come, ye blessed of My Father, take
possession of the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the
world.''(2) So the commencement of the victory was from the Fathers, its
conclusion is in the Church.
49. But the Church does not overcome the powers of the enemy with
weapons of this world, but with spiritual arms, "which are mighty through
God to the destruction of strongholds and the high places of spiritual
wickedness."(3) And Sisera's thirst was quenched with a bowl of milk,
because he was overcome by wisdom, for what is healthful for us as food is
deadly and weakening to the power of the enemy. The weapons of the Church
are faith, the weapons of the Church are prayer, which overcomes the enemy.
50. And so according to this history a woman, that the minds of women
might be stirred up, became a judge, a woman set all in order, a woman
prophesied, a woman triumphed, and joining in the battle array taught men
to war under a woman's lead. But in a mystery it is the battle of faith and
the victory of the Church.
51. You, then, who are women have no excuse because of your nature. You
who are widows have no excuse because of the weakness of your sex, nor can
you attribute your changeableness to the loss of the support of a husband.
Every one has sufficient protection if courage is not wanting to the soul.
And the very advance of age is a common defence of chastity for widows; and
grief for the husband who is lost, regular work, the care of the house,
anxiety for children, frequently ward off wantonness hurtful to the soul;
while the very mourning attire, the funeral solemnities, the constant
weeping, and grief impressed on the sad brow in deep wrinkles, restrains
wanton eyes, checks lust, turns away forward looks. The sorrow of regretful
affection is a good guardian of chastity, guilt cannot find an entrance if
vigilance be not wanting.
CHAPTER IX.
To an objection that the state of widowhood might indeed be endurable if
circumstances were pleasant, St. Ambrose replies that pleasant surroundings
are more dangerous than even trouble; and goes to show by examples taken
from holy Scripture, that widows may find much happiness in their children
and their sons-in-law. They should have recourse to the Apostles, who are
able to help us, and should entreat for the intercessions of angels and
martyrs. He touches then on certain complaints respecting loneliness, and
care of property, and ends by pointing out the unseemliness of a widow
marrying who has daughters either married already or of marriageable age.
52. You have learnt, then, you who are widows, that you are not
destitute of the help of nature, and that you can maintain sound counsel.
Nor, again, are you devoid of protection at home, who are able to claim
even the highest point of public power.
53. But perhaps some one may say that widowhood is more endurable for
her who enjoys prosperity, but that widows are soon broken down by
adversity, and easily succumb. On which point not only are we taught by
experience that enjoyment is more perilous for widows than difficulties,
but by the examples in the Scriptures that even in weakness widows are not
usually without aid,(1) and that divine and human support is furnished more
readily to them than to others, if they have brought up children and chosen
sons-in-law well. And, finally, when Simon's mother-in-law was lying sick
with violent fever, Peter and Andrew besought the Lord for her: "And He
stood over her and commanded the fever and it left her, and immediately she
arose and ministered unto them."(2)
54. "She was taken," it is said, "with a great fever, and they besought
him for her."(3) You too have those near you to entreat for you. You have
the Apostles near, you have the Martyrs near; if associated with the
Martyrs in devotion, you draw near them also by works of mercy. Do you show
mercy and you will be close to Peter. It is not relationship by blood but
affinity of virtue which makes near, for we walk not in the flesh but in
the Spirit. Cherish, then, the nearness of Peter and the affinity of
Andrew, that they may pray for you and your lusts give way. Touched by the
word of God you, who lay on the earth, will then forthwith rise up to
minister to Christ. "For our conversation is in heaven, whence also we look
for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ."(1) For no one lying down can
minister to Christ Minister to the poor and you have ministered to Christ.
"For what ye have done unto one of these," He says, "ye have done unto
Me."(2) You, widows, have then assistance, if you choose such sons-in-law
for yourselves, such patrons and friends for your posterity.
55. So Peter and Andrew prayed for the widow. Would that there were
some one who could so quickly pray for us, or better still, they who prayed
for the mother-in-law, Peter and Andrew his brother. Then they could pray
for one related to them, now they are able to pray for us and for all. For
you see that one bound by great sin is less fit to pray for herself,
certainly less likely to obtain for herself. Let her then make use of
others to pray for her to the physician. For the sick, unless the physician
be called to them by the prayers of others, cannot pray for themselves. The
flesh is weak, the soul is sick and hindered by the chains of sins, and
cannot direct its feeble steps to the throne of that physician. The angels
must be entreated for us, who have been to us as guards; the martyrs must
be entreated, whose patronage we seem to claim for ourselves by the pledge
as it were of their bodily remains. They can entreat for our sins, who, if
they had any sins, washed them in their own blood; for they are the martyrs
of God, our leaders, the beholders of our life and of our actions. Let us
not be ashamed to take them as intercessors for our weakness, for they
themselves knew the weaknesses of the body, even when they overcame.
56. So, then, Peter's mother-in-law found some to pray for her. And
you, O widow, find those who will pray for you, if as a true widow and
desolate you hope in God, continue instant in supplications, persist in
prayers,(3) treat your body as dying daily, that by dying you may live
again; avoid pleasures, that you, too, being sick, may be healed. "For she
that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth."(4)
57. You have no longer any reason for marrying, you have some to
intercede for you. Say not, "I am desolate." This is the complaint of one
who wishes to marry. Say not, "I am alone." Chastity seeks solitude: the
modest seek privacy, the immodest company. But you have necessary business;
you have also one to plead for you. You are afraid of your adversary; the
Lord Himself will intervene with the judge and say: "Judge for the
fatherless, and justify the widow."(1)
58. But you wish to take care of your inheritance. The inheritance of
modesty is greater, and this a widow can guard better than one married. A
slave has done wrong. Forgive him, for it is better that you should bear
with another's fault than expose it. But you wish to marry. Be it so. The
simple desire is no crime. I do not ask the reason, why is one invented? If
you think it good, say so; if unsuitable, be silent. Do not blame God, do
not blame your relatives, saying that protection fails you. Would that the
wish did not fail! And say not that you are consulting the interests of
your children, whom you are depriving of their mother.
59. There are some things permissible in the abstract, but not
permissible on account of age. Why is the bridal of the mother being
prepared at the same time with that of the daughters, and often even
afterwards? Why does the grown-up daughter learn to blush in the presence
of her mother's betrothed rather than her own? I confess that I advised you
to change your dress, but not to put on a bridal veil; to go away from the
tomb, not to prepare a bridal couch. What is the meaning of a newly-married
woman who already has sons-in-law? How unseemly it is to have children
younger than one's grand-children!
CHAPTER X.
St. Ambrose returns again to the subject of Christ, speaking of His
goodness in all misery. The various ways in which the good Physician treats
our diseases, and the quickness of the healing if only we do not neglect to
call upon Him. He touches upon the moral meaning of the will, which he
shows was manifested in Peter's mother-in-law, and lastly points out what a
minister of Christ and specially a bishop ought to be, and says that they
specially must rise through grace.
60. But let us return to the point, and not, while we are grieving over
the wounds of our sins, leave the physician, and whilst ministering to the
sores of others, let our own go on increasing. The Physician is then here
asked for. Do not fear, because the Lord is great, that perhaps He will not
condescend to come to one who is sick, for He often comes to us from
heaven; and is wont to visit not only the rich but also the poor and the
servants of the poor.(1) And so now He comes, when called upon, to Peter's
mother-in-law. "And He stood over her and rebuked the fever, and it left
her, and immediately she arose and ministered unto them."(2) As He is
worthy of being remembered, so, too, is He worthy of being longed for,
worthy, too, of love, for His condescension to every single matter which
affects men, and His marvellous acts. He disdains not to visit widows, and
to enter the narrow rooms of a poor cottage. As God He commands, as man He
visits.
61. Thanks be to the Gospel, by means of which we also, who saw not
Christ when He came into this world, seem to be with Him when we read His
deeds, that as they, to whom He drew near, borrowed faith from Him, so may
He, when we believe His deeds, draw near to us.
61. Do you see what kinds of healing are with Him? He commands the
fever, He commands the unclean spirits, at another place He lays hands on
them. He was wont then to heal the sick, not only by word but also by
touch. And do you then, who burn with many desires, taken either by the
beauty or by the fortune of some one, implore Christ, call in the
Physician, stretch forth your right hand to Him, let the hand of God touch
your inmost being, and the grace of the heavenly Word enter the veins of
your inward desires, let God's right hand strike the secrets of your heart.
He spreads clay on the eyes of some that they may see,(3) and the Creator
of all teaches us that we ought to be mindful of our own nature, and to
discern the vileness of our body; for no one can see divine things except
one who through knowledge of his vileness cannot be puffed up. Another is
bidden to show himself to the priest, that he may for ever be free from the
scales of leprosy.(4) For he alone can preserve his purity, both of body
and soul, who knows how to show himself to that priest, Whom we have
received as an Advocate for our sins, and to Whom is plainly said: "Thou
art a priest for ever after the order of Melchisedech." (5)
63. And be not afraid that there will be any delay in healing. He who
is healed by Christ has no hindrances. You must use the remedy which you
have received; and as soon as He has given the command, the blind man sees,
the paralytic walks, the dumb speaks, the deaf hears, she that has a fever
ministers, the lunatic is delivered. And do you, then, who ever after an
unseemly fashion languish for desire of anything, entreat the Lord, show
Him your faith, and fear no delay. Where there is prayer, the Word is
present, desire is put to flight, lust departs. And be not afraid of
offending by confession, take it rather as a right, for you who were before
afflicted by an intense disease of the body will begin to minister to
Christ.
64. And in this place can be seen the disposition of the will of
Peter's mother-in-law, from which she received for herself, as it were, the
seed corn of what was to come, for to each his will is the cause of that
which is to come. For from the will springs wisdom, which the wise man
takes in marriage to himself, saying: "I desire to make her my spouse."(1)
This will, then, which at first was weak and languid under the fever of
various desires, afterwards by the office of the apostles rose up strong to
minister unto Christ.
65. At the same time it is also shown what he ought to be who ministers
to Christ, for first he must be free from the enticements of various
pleasures, he must be free from inward languor of body and soul, that he
may minister the Body and Blood of Christ. For no one who is sick with his
own sins, and far from being whole, can minister the remedies of the
healing of immortality. See what thou doest, O priest, and touch not the
Body of Christ with a fevered hand. First be healed that thou mayest be
able to minister. If Christ bids those who are now cleansed, but were once
leprous, to show themselves to the priests,(2) how much more is it fitting
for the priest himself to be pure. That widow, then, cannot take it ill
that I have not spared her, since I spare not myself.
66. Peter's mother-in-law, it is written, rose up and ministered to
them. Well is it said, rose up, for the grace of the apostleship was
already furnishing a type of the sacrament. It is proper to the ministers
of Christ to rise, according to that which is written: "Awake, thou that
sleepest, and arise from the dead.
CHAPTER XI.
Having shown that the pretexts usually alleged for second marriages have no
weight, St. Ambrose declares that he does not condemn them, though from the
Apostle's words he sets forth their inconveniences, though the state of
those twice married is approved in the Church, and he takes occasion to
advert to those heretics who forbid them. And hes ays that it is because
the strength of different persons varies that chastity is not commanded,
but only recommended.
67. I say, then, that widows who have been in the habit of giving
neither are in want of their necessary expenses, nor of help, who in very
great dangers have often guarded the resources of their husbands; and
further, I think that the good offices of a husband are usually made up for
to them by sons-in-law and other relatives, and that God's mercy is more
ready to help them, and therefore, when there is no special cause for
marrying, the desire of so doing should not exist.
68. This, however, I say as a counsel, we do not order it as a precept,
stirring up the wills of widows rather than binding them. for I do not
forbid second marriages, only I do not advise them. The consideration of
human weakness is one thing, the grace of chastity is another. I say more,
I do not forbid second, but do not approve of often repeated marriages, for
not everything is expedient which is lawful: "All things are lawful to me,"
says the Apostle, "but all things are not expedient."(1) As, also, to drink
wine is lawful, but, for the most part. it is not expedient.
69. It is then lawful to marry, but it is more seemly to abstain, for
there are bonds in marriage. Do you ask what bonds? "The woman who is under
a husband is bound by the law so long as her husband liveth; but if her
husband be dead she is loosed from the law of her husband."(2) It is then
proved that marriage is a bond by which the woman is bound and from which
she is loosed. Beautiful is the grace of mutual love, but the bondage is
more constant. "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the
husband."(3) And lest this bondage should seem to be rather one of sex than
of marriage, there follows: "Likewise, also, the husband hath not power of
his own body, but the wife." How great; then, is the constraint in
marriage, which subjects even the stronger to the other; for by mutual
constraint each is bound to serve. Nor if one wishes to refrain can he
withdraw his neck from the yoke, for he is subject to the incontinence of
the other. It is said: "Ye are bought with a price, be not ye servants of
men."(1) You see how plainly the servitude of marriage is defined. It is
not I who say this, but the Apostle; or, rather. it is not he, but Christ,
Who spoke in him. And he spoke of this servitude in the case of good
married people. For above you read: "The unbelieving husband is sanctified
by his believing wife; and the unbelieving wife by her believing
husband.(2) And further on: "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.
A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases."(3) If, then, a good
marriage is servitude, what is a bad one, when they cannot sanctify, but
destroy one another?
70. But as I exhort widows to keep the grace of their gift, so, too, I
incite women to observe ecclesiastical discipline, for the Church is made
up of all. Though it be the flock of Christ, yet some are fed on strong
food, others are still nourished with milk, who must be on their guard
against those wolves who are hidden in sheep's clothing, pretending to all
appearance of continence, but inciting to the foulness of incontinence. For
they know how severe are the burdens of chastity, since they cannot touch
them with the tips of their fingers; they require of others that which is
above measure, when they themselves cannot even observe any measure, but
rather give way under the cruel weight. For the measure of the burden must
always be according to the strength of him who has to bear it; otherwise,
where the bearer is weak, he breaks down with the burden laid upon him; for
too strong meat chokes the throats of infants.
71. And so as ill a multitude of bearers their strength is not
estimated by that of a few; nor do the stronger receive their tasks in
accordance with the weakness of others, but each is allowed to bear as
great a burden as he desires, the reward increasing with the increase of
strength; so, too, a snare is not to be set for women, nor a burden of
continence beyond their strength to be taken up, but it must be left to
each to weigh the matter for herself, not compelled by the authority of any
command, but incited by increase of grace. And so for different degrees of
virtue a different reward is set forth, and one thing is not blamed that
another may be praised; but all are spoken of, in order that what is best
may be preferred.
CHAPTER XII.
The difference between matters of precept and of counsel is treated of; as
shown in the case of the young man in the Gospel, and the difference of the
rewards set forth both for counsels and precepts is spoken of.
72. Marriage, then, is honourable, but chastity is more honourable, for
"he that giveth his virgin ill marriage doeth well, but he that giveth her
not in marriage doeth better. (1) That, then, which is good need not be
avoided, but that which is better should be chosen. And so it is not laid
upon any, but set before him. And, therefore, the Apostle said well:
"Concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord, yet I give my
counsel."(2) For a command is issued to those subject, counsel is given to
friends. Where there is a commandment, there is a law; where counsel, there
is grace. A commandment is given to enforce what is according to nature, a
counsel to incite us to follow grace. And, therefore, the Law was given to
the Jews, but grace was reserved for the elect. The Law was given that,
through fear of punishment, it might recall those who were wandering beyond
the limits of nature, to their observance, but grace to incite the elect
both by the desire of good things, and also by the promised rewards.
73. You will see the difference between precept and counsel, if you
remember the case of him in the Gospel, to whom it is first commanded to do
no murder, not to commit adultery, not to bear false witness; for that is a
commandment which has a penalty for its transgression. But when he said
that he had fulfilled all the commandments of the Law, there is given to
him a counsel that he should sell all that he had and follow the Lord,(3)
for these things are not imposed as commands, but are offered as counsels.
For there are two ways of commanding things, one by way of precept, the
other by way of counsel. And so the Lord in one way says: "Thou shalt not
kill," where He gives a commandment; in the other He says: "If thou wilt be
perfect, sell all that thou hast." He is, then, not bound by a commandment
to whom the choice is left.
74. And so they who have fulfilled the commandments are able to say:
"We are unprofitable servants, we have done that which was our duty to
do."(4) The virgin does not say this, nor he who sold all his goods, but
they rather await the stored-up rewards like the holy Apostle who says:
"Behold we have forsaken all and followed Thee, what shall we have
therefore? "(1) He says not, like the unprofitable servant, that he has
done that which was his duty to do, but as being profitable to his Master,
because he has multiplied the talents entrusted to him by the increase he
has gained, having a good conscience, and without anxiety as to his merits
he expects the reward of his faith and virtue. And so it is said to him and
the others: "Ye which have followed Me, in the regeneration, when the Son
of Man shall sit in the throne of His glory, shall also yourselves sit upon
twelve thrones, judging the tribes of Israel."(2) And to those who had
faithfully preserved their talents He promises rewards indeed, though
smaller saying: "Because thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will
make thee ruler over many things.(3) Good faith. then, is due, but mercy is
in the rewards. He who has kept good faith has deserved that good faith
should be kept with him; he who has made good profit, because he has not
sought his own benefit, has gained a claim to a heavenly reward.
CHAPTER XIII.
St. Ambrose, treating of the words in the Gospel concerning eunuchs,
condemns those who make themselves such. Those only deserve praise who have
through continence gained the victory over themselves, but no one is to be
compelled to live this life, as neither Christ nor the Apostle laid down
such a law, so that the marriage vow is not to be blamed, though that of
chastity is better.
75. So, then, a commandment to this effect is not given, but a counsel
is. Chastity is commanded entire continence counselled. "But all men cannot
receive this saying, but they to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs
which were so born from their mothers womb,"(4) in whom exists a natural
necessity not the virtue of chastity. "And there are eunuchs who have made
themselves eunuchs," of their own will, that is, not of necessity. "And
there are eunuchs which were made eunuchs of men .... "(5) And, therefore,
great is the grace of continence in them, because it is the will, not
incapacity, which makes a man continent. For it is seemly to preserve the
gift of divine working whole. And let them not think it too little not to
be impeded by the inclination of the body, for if the reward for going
through that conflict is taken from their reach, the matter of sin is also
removed, and though they cannot receive the crown, no more can they be
overcome. They have other kinds of virtues by which they ought to commend
themselves if their faith be firm, their mercifulness abundant, avarice far
from them, grace abundant. But in them there is no fault, for they are
ignorant of the act of sin.
76. The case is not the same of those who mutilate themselves, and I
touch upon this point advisedly, for there are some who look ripen it as a
holy deed to check by the evil violence of this sort. And though I am not
willing to express my own opinion concerning them, though decisions of our
forefathers are in existence; but then consider whether this tends not
rather to a declaration of weakness than to a reputation for strength. On
this principle no one should fight lest he be overcome, nor make use of his
feet, fearing the danger of stumbling, nor let his eyes do their office
because he fears a fall through lust. But what does it profit to cut the
flesh, when there may be guilt even in a look? "For whosoever looketh on a
woman to lust after her hath committed adultery already with her in his
heart. "(1) And likewise she who looks on a man to lust after him commits
adultery. It becomes us, then, to be chaste, not weak, to have our eyes
modest, not feeble.
77. No one, then, ought, as many suppose, to mutilate himself, but
rather gain the victory; for the Church gathers in those who conquer, not
those who are defeated. And why should I use arguments when the words of
the Apostle's command are at hand? For you find it thus written: "I would
that they were mutilated who desire that you should be circumcised." For
why should the means of gaining a crown and of the practice of virtue be
lost to a man who is born to honour, equipped for victory? how can he
through courage of soul mutilate himself? "There be eunuchs which have made
themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake."(3)
78. This, however, is not a commandment given to all, but a wish set
before all. For he who commands must always keep to the exact scope of the
commandments, and he who distributes tasks must observe equity in looking
into them, for: "A false balance is abomination to the Lord. "(4) There is,
then, an excess and a defect in weight, but the Church accepts neither,
for: "Excessive and defective weights and divers measures, both of them are
alike abominable in the sight of the Lord."(1) There are tasks which wisdom
apportions, and apportions according to the estimate of the virtue and
strength of each. "He that is able to receive it let him receive it."
79. For the Creator of all knows that the dispositions of each are
different, and therefore incited virtue by rewards, instead of binding
weakness by chains. And he, the teacher of the Gentiles, the good guide of
our conduct, and instructor of our inmost affections, who had learnt in
himself that the law of the flesh resists the law of the mind, but yields
to the grace of Christ, he knows, I say, that various movements of the mind
are opposed to each other; and, therefore, so expresses his exhortations to
chastity, as not to do away with the grace of marriage, nor has he so
exalted marriage as to check the desire of chastity. But beginning with the
recommendation of chastity, he goes on to remedies against incontinence,
and having set before the stronger the prize of their high calling, he
suffers no one to faint by the way; approving those who take the lead so as
not to make little of those who follow. For he, himself, had learnt that
the Lord Jesus gave to some barley bread(3) lest they should faint by the
way, and administered His Body to others,(4) that they might strive for the
kingdom.
80. For the Lord Himself did not impose this commandment, but invited
the will, and the Apostle did not lay down a rule, but gave a counsel.(5)
But this not a man's counsel as to things within the compass of man's
strength, for he acknowledges that the gift of divine mercy was bestowed
upon him, that he might know how faithfully to set first the former, and to
arrange the latter. And, therefore, he says: "I think," not, I order, but,
"I think that this is good because of the present distress."(6)
81. The marriage bond is not then to be shunned as though it were
sinful, but rather declined as being a galling burden. For the law binds
the wife to bear children in labour and in sorrow, and is in subjection to
her husband, for that he is lord over her. So, then, the married woman, but
not the widow, is subject to labour and pain in bringing forth children,
and she only that is married, not she that is a virgin, is under the power
of her husband. The virgin is free from all these things, who has vowed her
affection to the Word of God, who awaits the Spouse of blessing with her
lamp burning with the light of a good will. And so she is moved. by
counsels, not bound by chains.
CHAPTER XIV.
Though a widow may have received no commandment, yet she has received so
many counsels that she ought not to think little of them. St. Ambrose would
be sorry to lay any snare for her, seeing that the field of the Church
grows richer as a result of wedlock, but it is absolutely impossible to
deny that widow-hood, which St. Paul praises, is profitable. Consequently,
he speaks severely about those who have proscribed widowhood by law.
82. But neither has the widow received any command, but a counsel; a
counsel, however, not given once only but often repeated. For, first, it is
said: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman."(1) And again: "I would
that all men were even as I myself; "(2) axed once more: "It is good for
them if they remain even as I; "(3) and a fourth time: "It is good for the
present distress."(4) And that it is well pleasing to the Lord, and
honourable, and, lastly, that perseverance in widowhood is happier, he lays
down not only as his own judgment, but also as an aspiration of the Holy
Spirit. Who, then, can reject the kindness of such a counsellor? Who gives
the reins to the will, and advises in the case of others that which he has
found advantageous by his own experience, he who is not easy to catch up,
and is not hurt at being equalled. Who, then, would shrink from becoming
holy in body and spirit, since the reward is far above the toil, grace
beyond need, and the wages above the work?
83. And this, I say, not in order to lay a snare for others, but that
as a good husbandman of the land entrusted to me, I may see this field of
the Church to be fruitful, at one time blossoming with the flowers of
purity, at another time strong in the gravity of widow-hood, and yet again
abounding with the fruits of wedlock. For though they be diverse, yet they
are the fruits of one field; there are not so many lilies in the gardens as
ears of corn in the fields, and many more fields are prepared for receiving
seed than lie fallow after the crops are gathered in.
84. Widowhood is, then, good, which is so often praised by the judgment
of the apostles, for it is a teacher of the faith and a teacher of
chastity. Whereas they who honour the adulteries and the shame of their
gods appointed penalties for celibacy and widowhood;(1) that zealous in
pursuit of crimes they might punish the study of virtues; under the
pretext, indeed, of seeking increase of the population, but in reality that
they might put an end to the purpose of chastity. For the soldier, when his
time is ended, lays aside his arms, and leaving the rank which he held, is
dismissed as a veteran to his own land, that he may obtain rest after the
toils of a laborious life, and cause others to be more ready to undergo
labour in the hope of future repose. The labourer, too, as he grows too
old, entrusts the guiding of the plough to others, and worn out by the toil
of his youth, enjoys in his old age that which his foresight has cared for,
still ready to prune the vine rather than to press the grapes, so as to
check the luxuriance of early life, and to cut off with his pruning knife
the wantonness of youth, teaching, as it were, that blessed fruitfulness is
to be aimed at even in the vine.
85. In like manner the widow, as a veteran, having served her time,
though she lays aside the arms of married life, yet orders the peace of the
whole house: though now freed from carrying burdens, she is yet watchful
for the younger who are to be married; and with the thoughtfulness of old
age she arranges where more pains would be profitable, where produce would
be more abundant, which is fitted for the marriage bond. And so, if the
field is entrusted to the elder rather than to the younger, why should you
think that it is more advantageous to be a married woman than a widow? But,
if the persecutors of the faith have also been the persecutors of
widowhood, most certainly by those who hold the faith, widowhood is not to
be shunned as a penalty, but to be esteemed as a reward.
CHAPTER XV.
St. Ambrose meets the objection of those who make the desire of having
children an excuse for second marriage, and especially in the case of those
who have children of their former marriage; and points out the consequent
troubles of disagreements amongst the children, and even between the
married persons, and gives a warning against a wrong use of Scripture
instances in this matter.
86. Perhaps, however, it may seem good to some that marriage should
again be entered upon for the sake of having children. But if the desire of
children be a reason for marrying, certainly where there are children, the
reason does not exist. And is it wise to wish to have a second trial of
that fruitfulness which has already been tried in vain, or to submit to the
solitude which you have already borne? This is the case of those who have
no children.
87. Then, too, she who has borne children, and has lost them (for she
who has a hope of bearing children will have an intenser longing), does not
she, I say, seem to herself to be covering over the deaths of her lost
children by the celebration of a second marriage? Will she not again suffer
what she is again seeking? and does she not shrink at the graves of her
hopes, the memories of the bereavements she has suffered, the voices of the
mourners? Or, when the torches are lit and night is coming on, does she not
think rather that funeral rites are being prepared than a bridal chamber?
Why, then, my daughter, do you seek again those sorrows which you dread,
more than you look for children whom you no longer hope for? If sorrow is
so grievous, one should rather avoid than seek that which causes it.
88. And what advice shall I give to you who have children? What reason
have you for marrying? Perhaps foolish light-mindedness, or the habit of
incontinence, or the consciousness of a wounded spirit is urging you on.
But counsel is given to the sober, not to the drunken, and so my words are
addressed to the free conscience which is whole in each respect. She that
is wounded has a remedy, she that is upright a counsel. What do you intend
to do then, my daughter? Why do you seek for heirs from without when you
have your own? You are not desiring of children, for you have them, but
servitude from which you are free. For this true servitude, in which love
is exhausted, which no longer the charm of virginity, and early youth, full
of holy modesty and grace, excites; when offences are more felt, and
rudeness is more suspected, and agreement less common, which is not bound
fast by love deeply rooted by time, or by beauty in its prime of youth.
Duty to a husband is burdensome, so that you are afraid to love your
children and blush to look at them; and a cause of disagreement arises from
that which ordinarily causes mutual love to increase the tender affections
of parents. You wish to give birth to offspring who will be not the
brothers but the adversaries of your children. For what is to bring forth
other children other than to rob the children which you have, who are
deprived alike of the offices of affection and of the profit of their
possessions.
89. The divine law has bound together husband and wife by its
authority, and yet mutual love remains a difficult matter. For God took a
rib from the man, and formed the woman so as to join them one to the other,
and said: "They shall be one flesh."(1) He said this not of a second
marriage but of the first, for neither did Eve take a second husband, nor
does holy Church recognize a second bridegroom. "For that is a great
mystery in Christ and in the Church.(2) Neither, again, did Isaac know
another wife besides Rebecca,(3) nor bury his father, Abraham, with any
wife but Sarah."(1)
90. But in holy Rachel(2) there was rather the figure of a mystery than
a true order of marriage. Notwithstanding, in her, also, we have something
which we can refer to the grace of the first marriage, since he loved her
best whom he had first betrothed, and deceit did not shut out his
intention, nor the intervening marriage destroy his love for his betrothed.
And so the holy patriarch has taught us, how highly we ought to esteem a
first marriage, since he himself esteemed his first betrothal so highly.
Take care, then, my daughter, lest you be both unable to hold fast the
grace of marriage, and also increase your own troubles.
Taken from "The Early Church Fathers and Other Works" originally published
by Wm. B. Eerdmans Pub. Co. in English in Edinburgh, Scotland, beginning in
1867. (LNPF II/X, Schaff and Wace). The digital version is by The
Electronic
Bible Society, P.O. Box 701356, Dallas, TX 75370, 214-407-WORD.
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