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FROM CRIB TO STROLLER
PARENT-EDUCATORS--TEACH CHILDREN AT HOME
Series 1, Leaflets 0-12
Birth to Three Years
Copyright 1961 by Confraternity of Christian Doctrine
Nihil obstat: Francis J. Connell, C.SS.R., Censor librorum.
Imprimatur: +James A. McNulty, Bishop of Paterson.
Parent-Educator Series Introductory Leaflet PE-0
PARENTS....
DO YOU KNOW THAT the Parent-Educator section of the Confraternity of
Christian Doctrine seeks to impress upon you, the Catholic Parents of
today, the fact that your function as Teachers of Religion in the home
is a God-given assignment? The Parent-Educator program is planned not
only to arouse you to an awareness of this great duty, but to offer you
practical direction toward its fulfillment. This appeal is not for the
special few, but is a vigorous call to action for all Catholic parents.
The Popes have made clear the Church's teaching concerning the
education of the young. They have stressed the importance of the home
as the place to form character and to lay patterns of habit. They have
emphasized the twofold responsibility of parenthood: the supervision of
the physical and the spiritual welfare of the young.
"For the love of our Saviour Jesus Christ, therefore, we implore
pastors of souls, by every means in their power, by instructions and
catechisms, by word of mouth and written articles widely distributed,
to warn Christian parents of their grave obligations. And this should
be done not in a merely theoretical and general way, but with practical
and specific application to the various responsibilities of parents
touching the religious, moral and civil training of their children, and
with indication of the methods best adapted to make their training
effective, supposing always the influence of their own exemplary
lives."
--"Christian Education of Youth", Encyclical Letter of Pope Pius XI,
translation of National Catholic Welfare Conference, Washington 5,
D.C., p. 28.
At the same time the Church points out through her Popes the
responsibilities and difficulties of parenthood, she indicates its
beauty and dignity. It is not merely a task of earning a livelihood or
of keeping house, but also the privileged co-operation of husband and
wife with God Himself in the very act of creation and conservation. The
guardianship of a human being, possessed of an immortal soul, is a
sacred charge. The fact that the Sacrament of Matrimony brings abundant
graces to the married state permits you to approach your problems and
accept your challenges with courage and confidence.
"It is unjust to say that the ceremony of Matrimony imposes a heavy
burden on two human beings, unless one adds that at the same time it
gives a divine strength, an inexhaustible grace which will help them
not only to bear the burden, but even to find it light, enjoyable and
sanctifying....
"The grace of Matrimony, accompanied by the grace of Baptism, the Holy
Eucharist and Penance, becomes a suffering grace, a grace of
renunciation, expiation, redemption, a grace bringing peace and
serenity. But, like every grace as well as every cross, it is the seed
and the price of glory."
--"Christ Acts through the Sacraments," Aimon M. Roguet, O.P.,
translated by the Carisbrooke Dominicans, Liturgical Press,
Collegeville, Minnesota, pp. 132, 136.
The Holy Family of Nazareth is the model for all generations of
homemakers. In their home, the carpenter, Joseph, and his wife, Mary,
set about the important task of rearing the Child entrusted to their
care. As guardians of souls created to the image and likeness of God,
theirs is an assignment similar to that of parents of today. Parents
everywhere may well feel a closeness to Our Lady and St. Joseph.
"They are, first and foremost, home saints, the two of them, family
saints, who did no more glamorous things than the daily doings of every
husband and wife; but in the doing of them they achieved the highest
sanctity. Our Lady...tells every modern mother that her task, too, is
to raise the perfect Christ in her children, to mold them in heart and
mind after the fashion of Christ, to make them, as far as may be, other
Christs. Joseph...tells every Catholic father today that his greatest
and most lasting accomplishment is not his business, not his financial
success, not his leadership in club and society, but his success in
making his home a real home, in giving generously of his time and
talent and energy to the making of a family that will be like the
Family of Nazareth, a peaceful, holy family."
--"The Word," J. P. D., "America," January 8, 1944.
As parents you will watch the physical development of your child, you
will help with the first step, listen for the first word, feel the
first break of white along the surface of pink gums. Knowing that you
are responsible for the earliest impressions of childhood, you will
watch your child's spiritual development even more. Through your
influence by word and example, your child will become aware of God, his
heavenly Father.
Religious instruction falls effortlessly into the design of any
Catholic household. The preschool child will be your constant com-
panion. Example and habit will be reflected in the thoughts and actions
of your child. The development of personality does not commence with
formal education. Rather it begins at birth. It is a blend of the
individual's innate capacities and the influence of his environment.
Where there is an atmosphere of practical Catholicity, there is bound
to be a favorable reaction in the formation of character.
"Deepened religious convictions will bolster and reactivate the sense
of personal responsibility. We must seek to enlarge the area of
personal autonomy to protect the human personality from a greater
encroachment on its freedom and responsibility. The individual person
must assume as his proud right the accomplishment of whatever he can
for himself and for others, especially those of his family, and herein
lies the importance of the Christian home."
--"Need for Personal Responsibility," Statement by the Catholic Bishops
of the United States on November 20, 1960, National Catholic Welfare
Conference, Washington 5, D.C.
As parents you are your child's first teachers of religion. This fact
cannot be overlooked. You must equip yourselves to fill this role. To
help you do this the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine has developed
the Parent-Educator movement. The Confraternity has prepared a set of
leaflets for you, mothers and fathers (fathers, please note especially
Leaflet No. 9). These are designed to progress with the growth of a
child, from birth to age six. The attempt to assist you in your special
role as teachers of religion in the home. Book lists in each leaflet
suggest only a few titles you might "Buy or Borrow" to help you, as
well as your children. Those in the first series are largely devoted to
giving religious information to parents, whereas those recommended in
the second are directed more specifically to children.
"To discharge their duties properly and to establish in the home the
preventive work which will forestall the remedial action which now
prevails, parents must possess a certain equipment.... That the parents
may be properly equipped, it is necessary that they should know what
material to present and the best means of doing it effectively. The
material that should claim attention will depend in a large measure
upon the ability of the child and the circumstances that envelop him.
His attention must be directed to thoughts and words concerning God,
His creative works, trust in Him, our dependence upon Him, and the
reward for goodness."
--Most Rev. John A. Duffy, late Bishop of Buffalo
The Parent-Educator Section of the Confraternity exists for you. It
would like to hear from you. Send your questions and suggestions. They
will receive careful consideration. A sharing of experience is often
helpful and encouraging. An exchange of ideas is stimulating. Kindly
send yours to the diocesan director of the Confraternity of Christian
Doctrine or write to the National Center of the Confraternity of
Christian Doctrine, 1312 Massachusetts Ave., N. W., Washington 5, D. C.
Ask for a list of the other Confraternity publications prepared to help
you in the sublime task of educating your child in Christian living and
doing.
Pray with the Church:
"O Lord Jesus Christ, You sanctified home life with untold virtues by
being subject to Mary and Joseph. May they assist us to imitate the
example of Your holy family, so that we may share their eternal
happiness."
The arrival of your new baby brought congratulations and best wishes
from relatives and friends. The occasions of his birth and Baptism were
deep and moving. You will never forget them. You continue to
experience, as you did then, a sense of fulfillment and a feeling of
achievement. Breath-taking is the knowledge that you have been partners
with God Himself in the creation of a new life which is destined for
eternity. However, if this child has not yet been baptized, have him
baptized as soon as possible; for theologians teach that there is a
grave obligation to do this within a month of birth, unless there is
some very serious reason.
Your baby is three months old and, strangely enough, his mark is on
everything. His influence touches your decisions regarding your
household furnishings, insurance policies, excursions, the accepting or
declining of invitations. He reminds you continuously of your
responsibility as parents. You have already discovered that parenthood
is a 24-hour-a-day job.
Can you recall the time before your baby came? Perhaps you marvel now
that you could ever have considered your lives complete without him.
Somehow your love has been enriched and enlarged by sharing it with
another. Your love reaches out to include each child as he or she comes
along, yet there's always plenty to go around. You will agree that
things have certainly changed--in this case, for the better.
Experience and Guidance
Though your baby at three months finds you a veteran in infant care,
you can easily recall your recent nervous apprenticeship. You remember
how cautiously you first picked him up when you were on your own, away
from a comforting hospital routine.
Now, after three months, there is nothing to it. It seems that you were
born to lift and care for your infant. How did you achieve this
confidence? You learned by doing. You made use of reliable and
practical sources of information. You followed your doctor's
instruction and, even now, you keep an accredited book on infant care
within reach. In other words you are constantly guided by authority.
You are determined to give your baby a good start in life.
Great Responsibility
As you lovingly contemplate this child in his crib, you may say: "Some
day he will be a grown man." You are reminded that man is a creature
composed of body and soul and made to the image and likeness of God.
Yes, your baby's soul, as well as his body, must be cared for from the
very beginning. His soul must be conditioned for its ultimate
salvation. Now is the time to give earnest consideration to the
teaching of religion in your home. (See "Our Christian Vocation,"
listed under "To Buy or Borrow," at the end of this leaflet.)
Sterilizing bottles and preparing formulas involves a lot of work and
worry, but actually it is your easiest chore. It is the part you can
touch and see. The more delicate part of your baby is his soul. There
are safeguards for his spiritual as well as his bodily welfare. You
must nurture and care for his soul. Are you wondering how to go about
it? Are you frightened at the immensity of this assignment?
In this, also, you learn by doing. There are certain practical things
you can do, even now, to teach religion. The Holy Family of Nazareth is
your model in fulfilling your God-given vocation to care for the soul
of your child who, you pray, will one day merit heaven.
A Catholic Home
A Catholic home should, first of all, look like one. Artistic pictures
and statues of our Lord and His Mother are proudly and lovingly
displayed. A picture of the Sacred Heart in your living room reminds
you and all visitors to your home that Christ reigns over it. Prayers
are said regularly, together if possible; and grace is recited before
and after meals. There is an atmosphere of serenity, born of a close
friendship with God and an awareness of His presence.
Religion will become a part of your baby's daily life. Within days or
weeks he will absorb these character-forming influences.
A Change In Focus
A baby's arrival puts new meaning into one's religious life. You are
now more closely related to Mary and Joseph in the sense that yours is
a similarly inspiring yet challenging responsibility.
In the rush of caring for the physical aspects of infancy, you may have
forgotten the spiritual. As conscientious parents you will want to
check your routine in this respect. See that there is time for fifteen
minutes a day of spiritual reading and for family prayers. Bottles and
diapers are not too inspiring in themselves; but if, through prayer and
reading, you keep before you the significance of your sublime task, the
incidentals will not bear down on your spirits. The graces needed to
carry out your assignment are always at hand.
Keep a Record
Precious facts that will become memories all too quickly fly by in the
rush of the everyday activity of caring for your baby's body and soul.
You will want to record these in a Baby Book before you forget them.
You will want to remember the details of the baby's Baptism and his
first visit to church. Already he has selected his favorite toy. He may
have been on his first outing. It is well worth any extra effort to
find time in an already crowded schedule to record briefly the details
of your child's physical and spiritual growth. Such a document will
become an invaluable source of information and joy. You will want to
preserve it always as a Memory Book of some of your happiest years.
Briefly, Then...
1. You have been privileged as parents to share in God's creation. The
arrival of a baby exerts an influence on every phase of your lives.
2. By following your doctor's advice and by supplementary reading, you
are better able to give your baby a good start in life.
3. It is important that you should give earnest consideration to the
task of teaching religion in the home. You are not alone in this work,
but have an ever-present guide, Holy Mother Church.
4. The surroundings of a child contribute to early character formation.
You yourselves are the greatest contributing force.
5. Always keep before you the sublime task in which you are engaged,
knowing that you have available to you the graces necessary to
accomplish it.
6. Record, from the beginning, the many facts and figures pertaining to
your child's spiritual and bodily growth.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"Man, Woman and God: the Three Partners in the Sublime Contract of
Marriage," James H. McCown, S.J. The Queen's Work, 3115 S. Grand Blvd.,
St. Louis Mo.
A realistic approach to the plan of God that man and woman should be
partners with Him in the continuation of the human race.
"Our Christian Vocation": Chapters on "The Beginning of Life" through
"The Meaning of Confirmation," Rev. Leo J. Trese. Confraternity
Publications, 580 Marshall St., Paterson, N.J.
Eight chapters from a popular discussion-club text, with application to
daily Christian living and with suggested religious practices.
"Marriage: The Magazine of Catholic Family Living." St. Meinrad, Ind.
An alert, helpful and almost indispensable magazine which touches on
every facet of the Christian home.
"Baptism is Social," Therese Mueller and the Benedictines of Conception
Abbey. Conception Abbey Press, Conception, Mo.
The import of Baptism on the family, the parish and the sponsors.
"How To Make Your House a Home," Rev. Bernard Stokes, O.F.M. National
Catholic Welfare Conference, Family Life Bureau, 1312 Massachusetts
Ave., N.W., Washington, D.C.
Contains practical suggestions by means of which an average family can
bring Christ into the home.
"Baby Grows in Age and Grace," Sister Mary de Lourdes. Doubleday Image
Books, Garden City, N.Y.
A most helpful book covering a child's early years.
"My Way of Life," Simplification of the Summa of St. Thomas Aquinas,
Rev. Walter Farrell, O.P., and Rev. Martin Healy, O.P. Confraternity of
the Precious Blood, 5300 Fort Hamilton Parkway, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Indicates a "Way of life" wherein a man or a woman can follow God and
find Him everywhere. Prayer book size. Read a few pages a day.
"Our Baby's Memory Book," St. Anthony's Guild, 508 Marshall St.,
Paterson, N.J.
An ideal book for recording facts and figures about a baby's spiritual
and bodily growth. Pink or blue binding.
Today pediatricians and child psychologists urge you, as new parents,
to relax in your infant's company. They recommend that you enjoy your
baby. They tell you, "A show of affection during the day is exactly
what a baby needs."
You may wonder why parents have to be told to express their love for
their child. Not too long ago, exactly the reverse attitude was in
vogue and parents were urged not to pick up the infant and not to feed
him other than at the appointed time, regardless of how hard he cried
for another feeding. It doesn't take too much thought to determine
which of the two is the saner and more practical viewpoint.
The current attitude blends effortlessly with the teaching of the
Church; it is essentially Christian. It is natural to love and to show
that love. By the nature of your parenthood you will know what to do at
a given moment. Enlightened and strengthened by God's grace, you can
relax and trust that He, who gave you this child, will guide you in
your task of leading it, body and soul, to heaven.
Partners in a lawful marriage receive the special grace of the
sacrament in order to discharge their duties. It is this grace which
assists a mother and a father to teach religion in their home.
Have Confidence
Your baby is now six months old. Half of his first year is past! And
isn't he quite a fellow? He can sit up, or at least he is trying. He
may have a tooth or two. He gurgles with delight when he is given a
bath. And he can greet "Daddy" with a huge smile of welcome. Because
you took care of his daily physical needs, he is now the fine baby that
he is.
Your child is growing spiritually, also, whether you are aware of it or
not. As you look at him, you may ask yourself: "How shall I teach my
baby the great truths of his faith?" There is no need to worry. Now,
while he is yet an infant, make up your mind to cooperate in every way
with the counsel of the Church in the Nuptial Mass to bring up your
child in the love and fear of God. Having done this, and renewing the
pledge frequently, you may be confident that you will achieve your end:
that he will attain his full spiritual stature and will one day be
ready for heaven.
Your Child Sees
A child first sees God through the eyes of his parents. Your resolve to
serve God as best you can will be reflected in all that you do. Your
life will radiate an awareness of God's presence, and your baby will
sense His presence in you. He will read your facial expression. He will
look into your eyes. He will catch the reverence of a gesture. He will
notice your smile. He will model himself unconsciously on your habits.
Your child will be a little mirror in which you can see yourself.
You may not always be pleased with what you see there. Striving for the
ideal is not always easy; but, as long as we try, we know that our
efforts are fruitful, however feeble they may be. For baby's sake, as
well as your own, Mother and Dad, a periodic checkup on your motives
and desires will help to regenerate the spirit of giving, loving and
living for the glory of God. (See "Love in Action," listed under "To
Buy or Borrow," at the end of this leaflet.)
Ask Yourselves
Do you kneel down every morning and night to say your prayers? Do you
pray ejaculations through the day? Ask yourselves if you want your son
or daughter to develop the beautiful habit of daily prayer. Just as you
teach a child to pat-a-cake by repetition, so a baby can learn to make
the motions of the Sign of the Cross. Example is a more penetrating
influence than verbal guidance. Your child will learn more easily, more
naturally, more thoroughly, if you teach him through daily
demonstration. A Christ-centered life is the best indicator for the
small child.
Make Your Home Beautiful
Are you more concerned about the physical fitness of your home than
about the atmosphere you create? The essential beauty of your home is
dependent, not on brick and paint and venetian blinds, but rather on
the spirit which permeates it. Always keep in mind as a model the home
of Jesus, Mary and Joseph in Nazareth. Your home will then be filled
with peace, which is necessary before a child can feel the loving
breath of God's presence.
When your baby is small, you will not be going out as often. Are you
restless in the new adjustment you must make? If so, you will need to
examine candidly the varied pleasures to be found right at home. Are
you interested in gardening? You can cultivate your own flowers and
plants to be used for shrines in the home. Father may like carving and
may decide to make a statue or a crucifix. Or, if you both are
interested in the lay apostolate, now is the time to become informed,
so that, when your routine changes, you can easily move into another
category of activity. Each one according to his or her taste should
fill his time usefully.
Realizing that this is a temporary situation, you will be amazed at how
often you will find yourselves even enjoying the fact that you have
lost a certain amount of freedom. You will find that now you are free
to engage in other activities than those you pursued before your baby
arrived. Line them up carefully and methodically before succumbing to
boredom and depression.
Your Catholic Culture
The Catholic religion is so rich in culture that there is hardly a
phase of daily living which is not affected by it. Books, pictures,
hymns, traditions, and customs will contribute to the abundance of your
lives. They are a part of your own and your child's heritage as
Catholics. Use them generously. Learn about the history and beliefs of
your Church. In literature, art and music the Church has made
tremendous contributions throughout the ages. Now is the time to
examine these more closely and to ready your selves for the time when
you will be able to inspire your children to fill their lives also,
with the good, the true and the beautiful.
Briefly Then...
1. Appreciate the fact that the Sacrament of Matrimony is a rich source
of grace.
2. Have confidence in your own ability, which can be fortified daily by
God's grace.
3. Your child's spiritual growth is as definite as his physical. Keep
in mind that you safeguard his soul's welfare by setting a good
example.
4. How do you measure up? Check your attitude toward your new
responsibilities.
5. Read about the rich Catholic culture that is yours and use it in
song, picture and story.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"Enjoy Your Child," James L. Hymes, Jr. National Catholic Welfare
Conference, Family Life Bureau, 1312 Massachusetts Ave., N. W.,
Washington, D.C.
A child is a gift from God which is received with gratitude and joy.
"Love in Action," Rev. Leo J. Trese. Confraternity Publications, 508
Marshall St., Paterson, N.J.
A CCD discussion club text that explains how love of God and love of
neighbor are perfectly fulfilled by obeying the Commandments of God and
the Church.
"Together toward God, Religious Training in the Family," Pierre Ranwez,
S.J., J. and M. L. Defossa and J. Gerard-Libois, translated by P.
Barrett, O.F.M.Cap. Newman Press, Westminster, Md.
A remarkably complete text with reading list to help parents in the
religious education of their children throughout their childhood. An
indispensable book.
*"Beginning At Home," Mary Perkins. Liturgical Press, Collegeville,
Minn.
Helpful and practical book for family training in Christian culture.
*"Praying While You Work: Devotions for the use of Martha rather than
Mary," Dom Hubert Van Zeller, O.S.B. Templegate, 719 E. Adams St.,
Springfield, Ill.
Shows women burdened with household cares how to advance in prayer.
*"Religious Customs in the Family" (republished as "The Year of Our
Lord in the Christian Home"), Francis X. Weiser, S.J. Liturgical Press,
Collegeville, Minn.
Written in easy style, it offers many suggestions for bringing the
liturgy into everyday life.
"Reading for Catholic Parents," F. J. Sheed. Sheed and Ward, 64
University Place, New York, N.Y.
Tells why, how and what parents should read. List of suggested reading
for adults and children.
As your baby reaches nine months, you become more and more interested
in his physical development. Because he can now creep, sit and stand,
he is something of an investigator. You are so proud of him that you
eagerly listen for the admiring comments of others. This is as it
should be. A baby is a possession well worth the admiration of others.
It is a natural impulse for a father and mother to want others to know
that being parents is an incomparable experience. God wants us to be
proud of our children. He wants us to be so proud that we will accept
only the best way of life for them. This was clearly pointed out for us
by Christ Himself when He said: "I am the way, and the truth, and the
life" (John 14:6).
Your baby attracts attention as you push him down the street in his
stroller. Your neighbors, and sometimes even a stranger, will say,
"What pretty eyes!" or "How healthy he looks!" Then they may try to
decide whom the baby looks like. You agree, and admire your baby with
them. As you continue down the street, you think of his soul, which is
made in the image and likeness of God. How much more beautiful than any
physical attribute! You realize that you can help to keep it beautiful
and undefiled by your teaching of religion, so that it will return one
day to heaven and God. What a glorious responsibility!
Baby's Relatives
You have a natural inclination to share affection. When you love
someone dearly, you want others to know and love him also. Because of
your love for each member of the Holy Family and your enrichment by
their patronage and favors, very soon you will tell your child about
Jesus, Mary and Joseph. You will want the members of the Holy Family to
love your baby and care for him all his life, just as you will teach
your baby in turn to love them.
Are you wondering just how you can go about introducing the Family of
Nazareth to a nine-month-old baby? Well, how did you introduce his
grandparents to him? If Grandmother and Grandfather live in the same
city, your child probably became aware of them almost as soon as he
came to know and recognize you. He probably came to know Granddad's
hearty laugh and to reach for Grandmother's glasses.
If his grandparents live in another city, you have possibly taken him
to see them or they have come to him. At the time of that visit your
baby already knew about his grandparents, by the bootees and sweater
Grandmother knitted and the fuzzy stuffed dog Grandfather had sent some
time before. You had told him about countless other indications of
their affection.
At nine months your baby readily distinguishes you and his relatives
from strangers. The Holy Family can become as familiar to him through
colorful pictures about their life at Nazareth. Indeed, a love for the
members of that family must become part of the baby's life. Make room
for them in your home. Listen to their words. Let your child feel their
presence.
Learning Is Gradual
Nine months is the between-age because it is the period in which the
baby loses his initial helplessness and verges on a certain inde-
pendence. He is eating three meals a day with the rest of the family,
instead of having formula feedings at special hours. He has teeth, sits
up, and is creeping about. He amuses himself with toys and he fingers
various objects, seeking the third dimension. If he is not yet drinking
milk from a cup, he is trying to do so.
Do not be afraid to hold up the cup of learning to your baby. What does
it matter if most of it washes down his intellectual bib? Who can say
just how much nourishment his mind absorbs; at what point he begins to
grasp an idea?
His Own Saint
A nine-month-old baby is wonderful company. He is a good listener. You
can talk to him about anything. He turns his head when he hears his
name, a saint's name. Ask that patron to guide you in giving the
spiritual education your child needs. His own particular patron saint
will become his very special friend. There are some simple books on the
well-known saints. Though still quite young, your child may enjoy
looking at pictures of the saints.
In this way, he will soon understand that the saints are his friends
also, just as are his relatives. If you yourself are not acquainted
with his own special patron, read about him. Then, if the baby's name
is Francis, for example, you will be ready, when the time comes, to
say: "Once upon a time there was a rich young man named Francis...."
Family Unity
The family is a unit of society. Our nation is as strong as are its
families. Startling, indeed, is the large number of broken homes that
exist today, with the resulting instability on the part of the children
and the entering into unlawful marriages by the divided partners. The
seriousness of such an act should always be before us. "And I say to
you, that whoever puts away his wife, except for immorality, and
marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries a woman who has
been put away commits adultery" (Matt. 19:9).
Though you yourselves may feel that you would never travel down the
rocky road from a broken home, you must guard against anything that
could lead to disunity in the life of the family. You should stand
together as living examples of the precepts of God and of His Church--
ever united as a family unit. Family members become more stable and,
therefore more virtuous, through recitation of the rosary. This
practice has been singled out as valuable insurance against breakdown
of family unity. Though your baby may be tucked in his crib, you can
speak for him as a member of the family. As you shape and build your
fortress against sin, participate with Christ in the salvation of the
world by praying for those outside your home. Each day through prayer
join those who strive to make the world what God intended it to be, for
all have a responsibility to help restore, directly or indirectly, the
world to Christ.
Briefly, Then...
1. Because you are proud of your baby and want the best for him, you
will safeguard the purity of his soul.
2. Because you yourselves love the members of the Holy Family, you will
be anxious that your child should come to know and love them, also. You
will make a conscious effort to acquaint him with Jesus, Mary and
Joseph through pictures.
3. Though you are not sure how much he will absorb, you will try to
feed him some spiritual food.
4. You will enlist the help of your child's patron saint in his behalf,
and will learn about the various saints, so that you will be prepared
to teach your child about them.
5. Because you respect your marriage contract, you will strengthen
family unity through daily recitation of the rosary.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"Guiding Christ's Little Ones," An address by the late Pope Pius XII.
National Catholic Welfare Conference, Family Life Bureau, 1312
Massachusetts Ave., N.W., Washington, D.C.
The late Holy Father directs parents and teachers on the religious
education of children and youth, with special attention to training the
various faculties of mind and soul.
"I Can't Copy That Family," Francis L. Filas, S.J. Queen's Work, 3115
S. Grand Blvd., St. Louis, Mo.
This will help you realize the truth that every Christian home is in
reality a duplicate of Nazareth.
>"Miniature Lives of the Saints," Books I-IV, Rev. Daniel A. Lord, S.J.
William J. Hirten Co., Inc., 25 Barclay St., New York, N.Y.
These are very small and the text of each saint's life is presented
opposite an attractive picture. There are "boy" saints and "girl"
saints.
"Family Prayers," W. Busch. Liturgical Press, Collegeville, Minn.
Aid to prayer in common for family at table in the morning or evening.
"Truth, Unity, Peace," First Encyclical of Pope John XXIII. Translation
of Paulist Press, 401 W. 59th St., New York, N.Y.
In this booklet the wise words of the Holy Father carry a great and
personal message for families. Fathers and mothers are directed toward
their place in the institution of the family, and the vast influence of
family life on the affairs of the world is indicated.
It is difficult to decide who enjoys your baby's birthday more, you or
the baby. The party, candle and presents all make the occasion a
special one. Though your baby does not understand yet what a birthday
party is, he does sense the joy in the household, for at the same time
you are celebrating your good fortune as parents. You experience a warm
feeling of accomplishment as you look at your sturdy offspring. You
know that if you are fulfilling the responsibility of parenthood as an
assignment from God, your baby is also developing spiritually each day.
Birthdays are a time for lighting candles. Why not take your baby to
church on his birthday and light a vigil candle for him? He won't
understand this little ceremony, but he will no doubt absorb some of
the peacefulness surrounding him. A candle lighted by your reverent
hands in honor of our Lord and Our Lady symbolizes a lasting prayer to
God for your baby's temporal and eternal happiness. Such a pilgrimage
to the parish church can become a yearly event. The idea that prayer,
not vain wishing, helps to achieve ultimate salvation, will gradually
take hold of his consciousness. Do not forget to light his baptismal
candle at home if you have one. This, too, can become a yearly event.
The early helplessness of babyhood has passed. It was a wonderful time,
as well as a trying and continuing time. Now, at twelve months, your
child has developed a definite personality. He is like no one else in
the world. Though he has certain rights which must be respected, you
must teach him also to respect the rights of others. He must learn to
adjust to his surroundings and maintain a happy balance when
circumstances bring about changes. He must not be dominated by adults,
nor, on the other hand, should he be allowed to rule the home.
Respect His Rights
Baby's rights include those of sufficient sleep and rest, healthful,
attractive meals and cheerful surroundings. Because a baby finds
security in regularity, it is essential that in all things you maintain
order. But do not give up your own recreation in planning your routine;
rather, adjust your activities to it. Treat yourselves to an occasional
evening or afternoon by yourselves, leaving your baby in competent
hands. You will enjoy the change and will come back refreshed and eager
to resume your duties.
If, however, it is impossible to find someone reliable to care for the
baby, then don't assume a martyr complex and show irritation in front
of your child. Disappointments, along with lack of sleep, anxiety and
all the other daily discomforts, can be offered in union with the
sufferings of Christ. In this perspective they will seem as nothing.
You can entertain quietly at home or follow your favorite radio or
television programs. Do some worth-while reading so as to be ready to
share your background of Christian culture with your child. Read your
Catholic papers and magazines. Keep abreast of the world conditions in
the midst of which your child is growing.
Obedience
You want your child to obey because obedience is necessary for
character development. It is possible to explain to a year-old child in
a reasonable but simple way just why certain things are required of
him. However, there are parents who unknowingly approach the matter of
obedience as dictators. They want a child to hop and step like a
trained animal. They overlook his God-given intelligence.
A child is reasonable. Usually, he will cooperate in the everyday
requirements made of him. Sometimes, when routine has been upset, when
rest is inadequate, or an illness is coming on, a child will rebel. Try
to be understanding and patient. This does not mean that you must give
in. Before the trying situation arises, study your assignment. Always
keep in mind that you are dealing with another person and try to see
his side of things.
There are homes which are uncomfortable places for all who enter them.
These are the homes where there are "Don'ts" for almost everything.
Baby's hands are repeatedly slapped when reaching for objects too
fragile for his curious little fingers. Wouldn't it save wear and tear
on the nerves of all if such objects were put away or out of reach
during these early years? Then, the few essential "Don'ts" would carry
weight. Do not permit a thing one time and forbid it under similar
circumstances another time. Whenever possible, be consistent; if you
are not, your child will become confused.
The first real tantrum is a frightening experience for the mother if
she has not previously learned how to deal with such an outburst. Your
baby thinks that if he kicks and screams he will gain your attention.
However, by busying yourself with something else, you will teach him
that you will give him your attention only when he stops. Above all,
remain calm and gentle. This takes some doing, but grace is always
available to assist in this important segment of child rearing.
Watch Your Language
Your child will soon develop a small vocabulary, which will increase
with amazing speed. As your baby adds one word and then another, it is
important to remember that you, his parents, are his primary source of
words. You will be amused to catch pet phrases of your own coming from
your offspring. You will be gratified when you hear "please" and "thank
you," and you will know that you have given good example. Keep close
guard, therefore, on the language you use, and you will seldom or never
have the distressing shock of hearing anything undesirable spoken by
your child.
By your own example establish the habit of truthfulness in your child.
If you always tell the truth when he asks "Who?" "What?" and "Why?"
both you and he will be more satisfied. He will be grateful; and as he
grows older and needs to confide in someone that someone will be you,
if you have gained his confidence through truthfulness and
understanding.
Grace before Meals
The Christian custom of grace before and after meals should be
established early. It is inspiring to hear a family ask God's blessing
on their food and thank Him for it. You may also wish to establish the
practice of blessing your child. This is a prerogative of parents and a
heritage due a Christian child.
Briefly, Then...
1. Start a family tradition by taking your baby to your parish church
on his first birthday. Light a vigil candle for him.
2. It is an incomparable privilege to share the growing years of your
child. Recognize him as the individual that he is.
3. Respect for the rights of a child as well as respect for those of
parents will contribute to domestic harmony and happiness.
4. You demand obedience from your child for his own good and not your
own satisfaction in dominating another. Be consistent in your demands.
5. Deal with tantrums in a calm, gentle manner. The less attention you
give to the performance, the sooner your child will stop.
6. Remember that your child will speak as you speak. If you establish
early an atmosphere of truthfulness in the home, your child will seek
your advice now and in the important years to come.
7. Establish the Christian custom of grace at meals. It will inspire
others, as well as your own family.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"Parenthood," Daniel A. Lord, S.J. The Queen's Work, 3116 S. Grand
Blvd., St. Louis, Mo.
The future of God's created and redeemed world depends upon what your
children receive from you, their parents. Parenthood is the most
important profession in the world.
"The Spirit of Catholicism," Karl Adam. Translated by J. McCann.
Doubleday Image Books, Garden City, N.Y.
The basic concepts of the Catholic Church are herein carefully and
brilliantly analyzed.
"Children and Their Religion," Eve Lewis. Sheed and Ward, 64 University
Place, New York, N.Y.
How to meet a child's psychological capacity in teaching religion.
*"Marriage and the Family," F.J. Sheed. Canterbury Books, Sheed and
Ward, New York, N.Y.
Another "must" by a favorite author among many.
"Bless Your Children," Archabbot Ignatius, O.S.B. Grail Publications,
St. Meinrad, Ind.
Few persons know anything about parental blessings. This short pamphlet
will show you how to open up this channel of grace to your child.
Your fifteen-month-old child will soon be walking, if indeed he has not
already carefully and cautiously made his way across the room. Though
wobbly and clumsy, his progress will seem like one of God's greatest
wonders to you, his parents. It will take a bit of self-control at
first to permit your child to walk alone even a short distance. You
will want to rush to him each time he topples. You will want to keep
his hand in yours just a little longer. You will want to spare him all
the bumps you can, until he acquires his sense of balance.
But naturally you will keep your hands off, so that he may learn. You
want him to know the vast satisfaction of accomplishment, which is his
right. By permitting him this achievement, you contribute further to
his normal development.
This mastering of limbs, this co-ordination of body, is his first
manner of traveling under his own power. Since his birth you have been
preparing for this moment as you so faithfully attended to his physical
needs. As the weeks and months sped into the past, you measured the
daily dosage of cod-liver oil or its equivalent. You supervised the
sun-bathing and regular offering of Vitamin C. Those sturdy little legs
are a tribute to your intelligent and devoted parenthood.
Your child must walk through life alone in more ways than one. He must
learn to solo in a spiritual sense, too. It is your task, also, to see
that he is as well equipped in character as in physique, so that he
will have the will to develop the special powers God has given him, and
so that he will influence those about him to do good.
If he is exposed to the healthful atmosphere of a practical, happy
Catholic home, he will develop well spiritually. He will acquire
stability of character and the set of values necessary to maintain the
balance which is so easily tipped by the uncertainties and insecurities
of contemporary living. He will at last reach the ultimate goal for
which all people are created--eternal happiness.
Yet Not Alone
Though your baby appears to be walking alone, you are actually walking
each and every step with him. He is with you in all the hopes and fears
and in all the dreams a parent dares to have. If you are wise you will
use prayer to fortify all these hopes, fears and dreams you have for
him. You will place your child under the patronage of Jesus and Mary
and good St. Joseph. You will then relax, knowing that he is in good
company.
Remember always that God is with him, not only in every step he takes,
but in every breath and heartbeat. God gave him the gift of life and He
will sustain him. God is mirrored in every living, growing thing about
him. If you teach your child, as he grows older, to see God in himself
and in everything about him and in everything that happens, you will
help him toward confidence and courage and inner peacefulness.
Out of the Play Pen
At fifteen months your baby may still spend several hours each day
within the confines of his play pen. It is reassuring to know that baby
cannot injure himself while you answer the doorbell. But before very
long he will let you know emphatically that he is tired of his play
pen. He will demand more and more freedom from it, and you will
reluctantly fold it up and store it, and by doing so, open to him a
world of independence. At times you may wish you could set up some sort
of protective enclosure to shelter your child from the dangers and
hurts of the world. You feel it is too bad that you cannot erect a
definite barrier blocking off all sin and temptation from your precious
offspring.
Certainly no such wall of wood or steel or stone is possible. But there
is another type of wall you can set up; a strong wall of protection
against the evils of the world. Yours is the task of instilling in the
heart of your child a deep, enduring love of God; of providing him with
a shelter in which his soul will be safe. If you bring him to an
appreciation of the need of following the teachings of the Church, you
will have provided him with the best guard against the enemies of
goodness and holiness. Through discipline, administered with love, you
will have trained him to brush aside the alluring lights of a
materialistic culture. Through your teaching you will show him how to
remain firm in his convictions, knowing that they are the only ones
that can bring lasting happiness.
Will He Outgrow This Shelter?
Will your child outgrow the shelter of the Church as he did his play
pen? There is no need to fear if you teach him always to cooperate with
God's grace. Not is there need to question the durability of the
Church, for our Lord promised: "...thou art Peter, and upon this rock I
will build My Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against
it" (Matt. 16:18). What a tremendous consolation it is for parents to
know that the spiritual future of their children has its foundation
upon a rock!
Work As A Team
The older your child grows, the more it will become apparent to you,
Mother and Dad, that you function most efficiently as a team. A team
has a common destination. It shares the same burdens because its
members work together for the same purpose.
Your destination is, of course, eternal salvation; your purpose, to
bring to that salvation, not only your own immortal souls, but those of
the children entrusted to your care. Each of you has certain unique
tasks to perform in regard to the rearing of your child. Teamwork
suffers if one parent assumes an overbalance of authority. It is unfair
for one to slip up on his or her share of responsibility. Such laxness
leads to disharmony and disunity, which in turn often cause a feeling
of insecurity in the child.
A husband and wife working together, sharing, giving and taking,
laughing together and accepting disappointment in common, give a child
the balanced sort of background he will need if he himself is to
acquire stability of character and a high sense of Christian values.
Equipped with such a background, he will not only live his life
peacefully, but he will also be able to radiate serenity to those about
him and will help to restore others to that peace which the world
cannot give. The peace, harmony and unity that we build within our
homes will reach far beyond its walls. Together you are helping to
build the kingdom of God on earth.
Briefly Then...
1. Just as you allow your child the opportunity to assert his physical
independence by learning to walk alone, so you must bring him to the
point in character development where he can stand alone.
2. The healthful atmosphere of a practical, happy Catholic home is the
best training ground for your child.
3. It is imperative that you give your child as adequate protection
from the forces of evil as you do from possible physical accidents.
4. If you rear your child to know and love God, you are providing him
with lifelong protection against spiritual disaster. You are showing
him the way to heaven.
5. Parents must work together. Accepting the teaching of the Church in
regard to Matrimony, husband and wife must live and work as one.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"Blueprint for Raising Children." D. F. Miller, C.SS.R. Liguorian
Pamphlets, Liguori, Mo.
A practical and helpful pamphlet on raising children.
"This Is Catholicism," John J. Walsh, S.J. Doubleday Image Books,
Garden City, N.Y.
In easy question and answer form, this book gives an explanation of the
Catholic faith.
"Sin" (From a "Companion to the Summa"), by Walter Farrell, O.P.
Canterbury Books, Sheed and Ward, 64 University Place, New York, N.Y.
Many people don't believe in sin, others are plagued by scruples. It is
the highest importance that we understand just what sin is.
"Dear Newlyweds" Pope Pius XII Speaks to Young Couples." Farrar, Straus
and Cudaby, 101 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y.
A collection of talks on married life, useful to newlyweds and to all
Christian couples.
Isn't your eighteen-month-old child delightful company? Almost every
day you notice some new sign of development. He walks quite steadily
now and stumbles only when there is something to trip him. Though his
vocabulary is very limited, he can make you understand what he means by
gestures and funny little sounds all his own. He likes to look at
picture books and tries to turn the pages himself. He may turn three at
a time, but nevertheless is quite satisfied.
There is a priceless element of suspense and surprise in this
companionship. You are not sure what he will do or say next. Together
you share the new experiences. It is a glorious adventure to advance
with a little child as he discovers God's wonderful world. Commonplace
objects and everyday happenings take on new luster and value. Though we
are balanced on the brink of uncertainty in world affairs, it is
consoling and inspiring to see the world as God created it and wished
it to be. A child is the best guide to the world's lasting wonders.
Together you can thank God for these and for each other.
Opportunity To Teach
As you go along with your child, you can guide him to those things in
life which will make him a well-balanced adult. As you watch all the
new gates swing wide at the touch of his chubby hand, you can make
certain that the other side of every gate holds something to strengthen
not only his body but his soul as well.
In the new game of turning pages, for instance, you will find that he
enjoys simple pictures best. He is especially pleased when he sees
familiar objects. If he sees a shoe, he will look up, eyes bright with
recognition, and exclaim, "Shoe!"
This is your opportunity, then, to include in his first library a book
about Jesus and Mary. You can identify their pictures as "Mary" or
"Jesus' Mother" and "Baby Jesus." Your baby will show pleasure in
recognizing another baby. In this manner, you place Mary and the Child
in the realm of day-by-day surroundings. That is exactly where they
belong in your baby's world; not remote and far away, but within his
short reach.
Stories Are Growing
Your child is taking a larger size in clothes. He is ready now for a
wider variety of solid foods. He is more active than he was a few
months ago. He is climbing and he loves to run around the house. The
world is huge and new to your child.
His capacity for story material has increased also. Possibly there is
no single medium of instruction so powerful and effective as
storytelling. A real closeness can develop between father and child
through shared stories. Since Dad is away at work so much of the time,
he can use the medium of storytelling to meet his youngster on a common
ground. How absorbed a child will be with the account of the travels of
Jesus, Mary and Joseph as Dad relates them! All through life it is
wholesome ant pleasant for an individual to be able to remember hearing
certain childhood stories told by either of his parents.
Storytelling can become a prelude to reading. A child loves to hear
stories and watch pictures as you turn pages of a book. By reading to
your child while he is still very young, you are creating in him
appreciation of a basic, indispensable source of learning.
Ideally, story time should fit into the daily routine at the same hour
each day. However, if it is too difficult to allow some minutes for
stories other than at the time of the bath, it should be done then.
Choose your story time wisely, so that your child will look forward to
it with pleasure, rather than dread, because you happen to choose a
time when he would rather be active. The time should not be too long at
first, because at eighteen months your child's attention is
short-lived.
Preventive Measures
Because of intelligent co-operation between parents and health
authorities, many diseases have been brought under control.
Inoculations have done much to curb the scourge of diphtheria, whooping
cough and polio. Smallpox vaccinations are given as a matter of course
at the age suggested by your doctor. There is immeasurable relief in
knowing that you have done all in your power to protect your child from
physical illness.
In "Christian Education of Youth" (listed under "To Buy or Borrow," at
the end of this leaflet), the late Pope Pius XI laments that "for the
fundamental duty and obligation of educating their children, many
parents have little or no preparation, immersed as they are in temporal
cares" (p. 27).
However, it is possible to prepare yourselves for the task of guiding
and protecting the soul of your child from those things which might
blight or scar its present beauty. As parents, you will want to keep
the truths of your religion clear and constantly in your mind. What
better way to do this than to review the catechism? (See "This We
Believe, By This We Live," listed under "To Buy or Borrow," at the end
of this leaflet.) With such a knowledge of the Church's teachings you
will be rewarded with peace of mind. You know you are trying to do all
you can to safeguard your child's immortal soul. This permits you to
relax in the confidence that God, also, is watching over your child and
that now and in the future He will supply him with the graces necessary
for his state in life. Sin cannot survive where there is close
communication with God.
Everything His Size
Your baby enjoys things fitted to his size. He likes the stubby-handled
spoon with which he attempts to feed himself. He prefers his own little
chair to an adult one. He sleeps more comfortably in his own crib than
in a large bed. When you are teaching prayers, this preference for the
small size should be kept in mind. Baby can start by learning prayers
such as "I love You, Jesus," and the Sign of the Cross. They must be
simple little prayers which fit his age and ability to speak. He will
build up a joyous attitude toward prayer if he learns that prayer is
talking to God, or Jesus and Mary. It is enough, at this age, for him
to acquire an impression of praying; to be given the smallest taste of
what is to be a lifelong source of nourishment and consolation for his
soul.
Briefly, Then...
1. At eighteen months your child offers you endless joy as you observe
his rapid physical and intellectual development. The world takes on new
luster as you observe it through the eyes of a young child.
2. It is not only your opportunity, but your obligation as well, to
guide the development of your child. Through picture books a child can
become familiar with his friends Jesus and Mary.
3. Both parents can contribute to the increasing scope of the child's
mind by storytelling. Stories can be told while certain other
activities are being carried on.
4. Just as such preventive measures as inoculations for various
diseases are given to safeguard health, so, too, may steps be taken to
protect the child from moral harm and to keep an atmosphere of
spiritual wholesomeness in the home so that he may grow in purity and
grace.
5. Teach your child to pray. Let him learn to recite short prayers at
first. Help him to make the Sign of the Cross.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
>"The Catholic Mother's Helper," Sisters Mary, I.H.M., Mary Roberts,
O.P., Mary Rosary, O.P. St. Anthony Guild Press, Paterson, N.J.
(Reprinted by Our Lady of the Rosary School, Bardstown, KY.)
Part I takes the child through his first four years.
"Christian Education of Youth," Encyclical of the late Pope Pius XI.
Translation of National Catholic Welfare Conference, 1312 Massachusetts
Ave., N.W., Washington, D.C.
This document should be read by all who have charge of the spiritual
welfare of children. Shows the responsibilities of parents to help the
child develop his natural faculties by co-ordinating them with the
supernatural.
"This We Believe, By This We Live," Revised Edition of the Baltimore
Catechism No. 3. Confraternity Publications, 508 Marshall St.,
Paterson, N.J.
A necessity for every Catholic home. Learning the truths of the
Catholic faith should continue throughout life.
"John and John and Their Guardian Angels." St. Anthony Guild Press,
Paterson, N.J.
A picture book that will easily become a favorite.
Most likely the day after your baby was born, someone came to you for
additional information in order to complete the hospital record and to
register your baby for the Bureau of Vital Statistics. You were
probably ready with a name months before. You and your husband gave
much thought to the naming of your baby. The tiny form in the nursery
was no longer just "Baby Jones"; for now he had a name of his own.
This name belongs to a certain pair of bright eyes; with a certain
voice like none other in the world and with two clutching arms, the
touch of which you would recognize in the dark. The name you selected
is a part of this child, who has his own lovable way and manner, who
has developed certain habits, who has become a distinct personality. He
deserves recognition as a person. This child is your child and, above
all, God's child. He is like no one else, and yet he is made to the
image and likeness of God, as are all others. He shares a common
destiny with others--in heaven.
He Is Himself
You can notice the development, not only in his body but in his mind as
well. Your child is not like your sister's baby nor your neighbor's nor
like you yourself at the same age. His body is unlike any other. For
this reason hospital personnel took imprints of your infant's feet or a
photograph of him for use in identification.
Approach the problems in the care of this child with an open mind. Do
not permit yourselves to have a set mold and expect his behavior to fit
into it. Do not be disappointed if his reactions are not like those of
other children at the same age under the same circumstances. Parents
have been disappointed because a second child did not like to sit
quietly in church during the celebration of Mass, while an older child
seemingly had enjoyed the experience. If you find this to be so,
introduce the child to the church at some other time, when no one is
there. Explain quietly to him that it is God's house and that we talk
to God in His house. Let the acquaintance be made under happy
circumstances. If he grows tired and restless, then by all means limit
the visit to the boundaries of his short patience and to the length of
time his vast energies can be stilled.
It is important to keep the proper perspective in dealing with a child
of this age. Be flexible and relaxed in the timing of certain
accomplishments. Do not be influenced by a neighbor's boast that her
child is already doing this or that. What do you want to achieve? It is
the durable, long-lasting accomplishment, of course, which is your
concern. Always approach the teaching of your child with love and
understanding for that particular child.
His Way to Heaven
For some children, it is natural to use the left hand more than the
right. They feed themselves, dress, open doors or lift and use
playthings with the left hand. Wise parents will not interfere with
their child's particular tendency. Let your child vary in his way of
doing things provided it does not interfere with the Christian life you
and your family are striving to live. Approach all problems and events
with a supernatural attitude. If, for instance, God has seen fit to
deprive your child of one of his faculties, accept this hardship with
patience and recognize it as a means for gaining merit. Your child will
learn best by your example how to accept every situation in the proper
perspective, knowing that the acceptance of God's will brings peace.
Discipline Is Essential
Are you afraid of the word discipline? It is a necessary, an important
word in the teachings of the Church. It does not necessarily infer
punishment and penance. Rather, it means the positive approach to any
present problem or anticipated problem which threatens to disturb the
order of your home or of your child's thinking.
It is well always to keep your goal in mind. The small, everyday
actions are those which build character. If these are carefully dealt
with, the big and important ones will take care of themselves.
Discipline must be maintained. Keep at this day by day. Let there be
emphasis on the positive approach. If you assume that your child will
be honest, obedient and kind, he will very likely acquire these
virtues. If he comes to see and know the pattern of goodness in other
members of the household, he will follow it.
Authority Comes from God
Your authority, Mother and Dad, is sacred. It comes to you from God. It
is there, not for your sake, but for the sake of the child. Its use
should always be tempered with love.
If only St. Benedict had written a book on child psychology! His Rule
shows that he believed much more could be accomplished by love than by
fear, that love is a more desirable motivation than fear. Love of God
comes first; love of creatures follows.
Parents who lead with love can expect to form lasting confidence on the
part of their child. They can hope to give him something he will use
all his life. Fear of parents leads toward slyness and secrecy. It
nurtures rebellion even in a very young heart. When there is love
surrounding him, a child knows a sense of security which is of in-
estimable importance to him. He is free to grow and learn and do. Was
there any indication of a lack of strength in the home at Nazareth?
A Review of Method
You have progressed with your child in his various stages of growth. Do
not forget, now or ever, that you and your own habits are the most
important factor in the molding of his character. Smile your way
through even the most exasperating situations, for it this particular
age a child is not intentionally bad.
This is a good time to review your baby's past, brief though it is, and
to plan for his future. It is well to restate your purposes to
yourselves, so that you will always continue in the light of faith to
direct your children toward God, their first Beginning and their last
End.
Briefly, Then...
1. Your child is developing into a distinct personality. He is your
child and, above all, God's child.
2. Give your child an opportunity to develop into the unique and
wonderful person God intended him to be. Do not try to make him grow
according to a chart in your baby book or like a neighbor's child.
3. Let your child develop according to his abilities. If God has seen
fit to deprive your child of one of his faculties, teach him by your
example to accept this cross.
4. It is essential that good habits of discipline be established in the
home. The child who is taught consistently from the earliest time to
obey and to have a certain respect for the rights of others, will
continue to do so as he grows older.
5. Because you love your child, your task is easy. Let common sense
come to your aid. Be firm but understanding. Be kind and just in
administering discipline. Ask the Holy Ghost to help you.
6. Continue to make your home a Christian one. Your habits are a very
important factor in the molding of his character.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"More than Many Sparrows," Leo J. Trese. Fides, Notre Dame, Ind.
A practical guide to Christian living; how to meet and overcome the
tensions and anxieties of life in the modern world.
"The Image Of His Maker," Robert Edward Brennan, O.P. Bruce Publishing
Co., 440 Bruce Bld., Milwaukee, Wis.
Gives much information on the nature of man, which in turn leads to a
better understanding of one's fellow men--and children.
"Discipline in the Home," Cecilia Desmond. Divine Word Publications,
Techny, Ill.
Important principles are given for using discipline in the home: in
dealing with mischievousness, tantrums, disobedience, and as a tool in
forming a child's character.
"Catholic Marriage Reader," anthology of nine articles. Authors range
from Gerald Vann, O.P., to Ed Willock. Grail Publications, St. Meinrad,
Ind.
Valuable and helpful information on a variety of subjects pertaining to
marriage and the family.
"Love and Grace in Marriage," H. Caffarel, Fides, Notre Dame, Ind.
A series of essays on spirituality for married couples.
Your baby has reached another birthday. This time when you bring in his
cake, he eagerly blows out the two candles. Somehow he senses that this
cake has something to do with his day of presents and love and extra
kisses. He merits all this just for being himself.
Your baby is now a participating member of the household and you find
it difficult to recall any time when he was not one of the family. Now
your child can share many more things in family life. His schedule of
meals, sleep, play and prayer is somewhat flexible and adjusts, when
necessary, to the needs of the rest of the family and household. If he
has older brothers and sisters, he has shared some phases of play with
them since birth and will continue to learn much from them. Perhaps the
most thrilling of all his accomplishments are his short sentences. This
skill introduces you to the mind and heart of a two-year-old. He
indicates delight in each new experience and you can share it with him.
Now he is truly a social being, for he spends short periods with other
children. He does not always find it easy to share, but through your
patience and tactful prodding he soon leans toward acceptable social
behavior. At the same time, and especially as he grows older, he should
be trained to enjoy solitary play as well, for this valuable habit will
help develop his power of concentration and self-reliance. It will also
help him lay a foundation for the resourceful use of leisure time.
There are many occasions when you cannot give him all your attention
and he must learn to be happy alone.
Expanding Ideas
The world of the two-year-old expands to take in new ideas and
adventures. He likes to help with simple household tasks. New sounds
and places and people add to his enjoyment. His progress in doing is
dependent upon repetition. Now, you can build on his growing
capabilities and further develop the work you have started in the
religious education of your child. Certainly you have not attempted any
formal instruction in Christian doctrine, but you have nevertheless
been teaching religion day by day, by your own example, by the
atmosphere in your home, and by the effort you have made, whenever
possible, to introduce him to Jesus, Mary and Joseph, the Holy Family.
Even now you are teaching him short prayers such as "I love You,
Jesus." Though he cannot fully join in family prayers, he will
appreciate their dignity and beauty.
By now your baby is aware of the church. He senses with you the
importance of the House of God and will come to feel that it is a
beloved and privileged place to visit. As he sees his Mother and Dad
genuflect before the tabernacle, he will instinctively imitate their
act of reverence.
You will be gratified indeed at such a tangible proof of progress. You
will have the feeling of accomplishment as your baby reaches into the
holy water font while saying, "Me, too." In all of this you are amazed
by the power of good example. Indeed, it is "the supreme sculptor of
character and lasting conviction." You pray each day that you will set
the best example for him.
Introduction to the Liturgy
Because of its brevity, Benediction is a service well suited to a small
child. The ringing of the bell, the flickering of candles, the
fragrance of incense--all will blend into a treasured memory.
Processions, too, will intrigue him. He may comprehend something of the
fact that the little boys and girls are marching in a kind of prayer to
please out Lord. Yes, introduce him early to the sacred liturgy and
Church devotions. From your attitude he will learn that worship of God
is not only a duty but a joy and privilege.
The sacraments are the most important way in which we establish direct
contact with God. So you hope that your child will build up an
appreciation of their magnificence and, realizing this, will frequent
them often as the source of supernatural help. A child, even at an
early age, can be prepared for the ceremony of the Mass and the
reception of Holy Communion. Prepare him by buying an illustrated book
about the Mass.
More Stories,
Stories are coming into their own. Your baby enjoys them more and more
and asks for them frequently each day. Probably you have set aside a
time each day for reading or storytelling. Story time is pure joy for
you as you continue this intimate association with your child. There
are stories everywhere. Tell your child about the grandmother of Jesus.
Let him learn to love good St. Anne as he loves his own grandmother.
The telling need not be too long. A short, short story is all that your
baby has attention for just now.
You could even introduce him to the Bible. The quality of story in the
Bible is far more acceptable than that of "The Three Billy Goats
Gruff." Even at this early date you can begin to set the pattern for
his reading habits. (See listing under "To Buy or Borrow.")
Keep Your Balance
It is a gay and wonderful experience to have a two-year-old in the
house. With a light heart and willing hand, you enter into the daily
responsibilities demanded of you. It is not meant to be a grim
martyrdom. Training cannot be settled in one day, but must be
approached gradually and without strain. Surmount daily vexations by
means of the graces that are yours through the sacraments.
It is well to keep a basic schedule of household chores. Necessary
daily chores should be accomplished first; then, if time allows, a
weekly or seasonal chore can be fitted in. Never should panic born of a
desire to adhere to a schedule eclipse sympathy for a child's momentary
need or wish to communicate. Make the most of these wonderful days of a
two-year-old. They will not return with this particular child. Keep in
mind the habits of discipline and order you wish him to carry into
maturity, and let the small things of each day contribute toward their
eventual achievement.
Briefly, Then...
1. At two years of age your child is able to share in the fullness of
family life. He basks in the warmth of your love for God and for one
another.
2. Through stories, pictures and statues, as well as visits to the
church, your child has come to know God. This is the birthright of
every Catholic child.
3. Introduce him to the liturgy and devotions of the Church. He will
most likely enjoy Benediction, which is a short service and suited to
his capacity for attention.
4. Continue the storytelling. This is an excellent time to begin the
habit of daily reading. Choose your material wisely.
5. Keep to a basic household schedule, but watch closely for those
moments of need when your child wishes to talk to you, or even "at
you."
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"The Christian Home," Rev. John A. O'Brien, Ph.D. St. Anthony's Guild,
508 Marshall St., Paterson, N.J.
An excellent little booklet on the sacredness of the home.
"A Catholic Child's Book of Prayers."
"A Catholic Child's Book of Poems," Guild Press, 850 Third Ave., New
York, N.Y.
These two books help parents teach their children fundamental prayers
and verses of praise.
>"Introduction to a Devout Life," St. Francis de Sales, translated and
edited by John K. Ryan. Doubleday Image Books, Garden City, N.Y.
A modern translation of a timeless classic which shows how we may
aspire to a perfect life even though we live in the world.
"Mediator Dei," Encyclical of Pope Pius XII on the Sacred Liturgy.
Translation of National Catholic Welfare Conference, 1312 Massachusetts
Ave., N.W., Washington, D.C.
It is essential to all Catholics to understand the liturgy so as to
appreciate more fully the divine rites and to participate in them.
"The Greatest Bible Stories," Catholic Anthology from World Literature.
edited by Anne Fremantle. Doubleday Image Books, Garden City, N.Y.
Parents will enjoy this reading material. It will serve to deepen adult
comprehension of the stories told one's children.
"Children's Bible, by W. Hillmann, O.F.M., translated by Lawrence
Atkinson. Liturgical Press, Collegeville, Minn.
A delightful colorful retelling of the greatest Book every written.
Your child will enjoy the vivid illustrations.
Harmony brings happiness into your home. Born of kindness among the
members of your family, it guarantees respect for individual
contribution and for the rights of others. The home is where your child
will learn best the lesson of consideration for and service to others.
You, Father and Mother, and every member of the household must strive
to achieve this harmony, as you bend your efforts toward serving God on
earth and, by this service, earning eternal happiness.
Though the task of maintaining harmony in the home at all times is not
an easy one, it is important to work for it, while watching constantly
the sublime model of the Holy Family. Day-to-day living as a family
unit requires love. Each member of the family must try to perfect
himself for the love of God and for the sake of the others. This love
and respect extends beyond the boundaries of the immediate family to
include the many who crave it. Unless harmony has existed in your home
from the beginning, your child may never know its power.
St. Joseph, Model for Fathers
In St. Joseph there was great strength but at the same time vast
tenderness. He is the model for all fathers. His life demonstrated for
the heads of families the virtues that are essential for true success.
St. Joseph was a laborer. He earned his living by his hands. His love
of God sanctified his simple labor. Tradition tells us that St. Joseph
excelled in prayer, that he avoided all occasions of sin and was
diligent at work. Throughout his life Joseph constantly prayed that
divine grace would sustain and guide him in every action.
Probably St. Joseph's tasks were made light and joyous by the knowledge
that Jesus was watching him. The eyes of your child are on you, Dad.
You are a V. I. P. in his world. You are his model, his guide. Probably
you have been amused more than once when you observed him imitating
your actions, manners or words. But this imitation is not a mere game
to him. He is truly copying you. The awareness of his admiration for
you, of his dependence upon you for leadership, will undoubtedly make
you want to be the things you hope to see some day in your son. It is
good to remember that you are a model for your child, and that, through
his imitation of you, he is learning to train his will. You cannot
escape that precious responsibility, even if you would. There is a
definite challenge in trying to live up to what you want your child to
become, by God's grace and your help.
What else do you mean to your child? You are more than just a model.
Your presence, as a father, is of utmost importance to the healthy
development of your child. Your son feels safe and secure in your
presence. Your daughter seeks out your affection and esteem. They want
your protection and guidance. The close relationship you achieve will
prepare your son for his future social responsibility. You are his
present contact with the world, outside the home. The ease and
enjoyment which your daughter derives from your presence, develops in
her the security which later will enable her to turn to you when
problems and questions arise. Children thrive on the show of affection.
Do not deprive them of this nourishment for soul and body.
Mary, Model for Mothers
One of the greatest consolations for mothers is the knowledge that the
Blessed virgin Mary was also a mother. She understands all the
experiences of motherhood, and therefore is ready to hear the petitions
of all mothers.
Every mother will find inspiration in imitating Mary. She will find a
kinship in remembering that Mary, too, kept house; she, also, had to
wash and dust and cook, just as any homemaker does. She was always
gracious, gentle and womanly. Certainly, you and every woman born since
Mary will fall short of her virtues. But you can make your own life
easier and better by trying to imitate the Mother of God, in the
confidence that she is a living influence in your home, eager and
willing to help you with any problem.
Women always enjoy speaking about their children. Have you formed the
habit of talking about your child with the Mother of God? She is a
tireless listener. The more you tell her of your own child, the more
you will come to know her and her Son!
Working Together
Although each of you, Mother and Dad, holds a place of dignity in the
home, you must work together in the important task of raising your
child. Your child will respect and love you if you respect and love
each other. He will be confused and demoralized if he is given
conflicting orders. One parent must uphold the decisions of the other.
If you have a difference of opinion, this difference must be discussed
when your child is not present. The soul of your child will grow best
in an atmosphere of harmony and affection.
Most fathers have only a meager share of a small child's waking hours.
This share should be as happy as possible. Dad should be looked upon as
a friend rather than a grim judge. As a mother, you will do all in your
power to have your husband recognized as the head of the house in the
manner in which Joseph was the head in Nazareth.
Your Child's Place in the Home
Your child, too, has a certain place in the home. When Jesus was twelve
years old, He left the doctors in the temple "and went down with them
and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them" (Luke 2:51). It was not
yet time for Him to take His place in the world. There were still years
of sheltered growth to be supervised by His parents.
Your child must be subject to you, his parents. He must be made ready
for his work in the world. Christian teaching does not permit your
child to rule you, but rather fosters love and respect for you. The
effect of your example and attitudes is far-reaching. Given proper
guidance, your child not only will realize his role in the family, but
will also be preparing for his role as a member of the world-family--
and, above all, as an intelligent ant generous member of the Mystical
Body of Christ.
Briefly, Then...
1. The Holy Family of Nazareth is a model for your home. Jesus, Mary,
and Joseph lived together in peace and happiness, subject always to the
will of God.
2. St. Joseph's qualities manifest the ideal for every Christian
father. It is possible to emulate the Holy Family in everyday life.
3. Parents are models for their children. The most trivial mannerism is
often copied by the young. Close association with the father is
important to the full development of your child.
4. Mary is the model for all mothers. She is willing to help other
mothers at any time.
5. It is essential that parents establish unified policies. It is a
good idea to talk over important decisions so that there will be only
one united decision presented to the child.
6. The Christ Child is the model for your child in filling his own
place in the home. Help him to try to please Jesus by being as much
like Him as possible.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"Sermons and Addresses on Marriage and the Family." Family Life Bureau,
National Catholic Welfare Conference, 1312 Massachusetts Ave., N.W.,
Washington, D.C.
Sets forth patterns for imitation for fathers and mothers. Sections on
the patron saints of husband and wife, St. Joseph and Our Lady, give
inspiration.
"Family Man," E. S. Geissler. Fides, Notre Dame, Ind.
"Father of the Family, E. S. Geissler. Fides, Notre Dame, Ind.
In these two volumes, Mr. Geissler tells of the duties, desires,
impressions, thoughts, satisfactions and sufferings experienced in
living the vocation of husband and father.
>"The Reed of God," Caryll Houselander. Sheed and Ward, 64 University
Place, New York, N.Y.
A truly beautiful book about Our Lady. An inspiration at any time of
year, but especially appropriate reading during the season of Advent,
or another season of waiting, special to mothers, that of pregnancy.
"Questions People Ask about Their Children," Daniel A. Lord, S.J. The
Queen's Work, 3115 S. Grand Blvd., St. Louis, Mo.
Answers to questions asked the late Father Lord by parents during
question periods following lectures. Covers period from earliest years
through the teens.
You will find that your child enjoys learning to use his free will, one
of God's greatest gifts to him. It is your task to give him a proper
sense of values, to let him come to know right from wrong, so that,
when the time comes for him to make his own decisions, he will choose
wisely. Everyday choices lay the foundation for adulthood in the world
of men and for eternal happiness in the next life. Teach him about
Jesus and His Blessed Mother and. you will be preparing him well to
make mature decisions in later years.
You have discovered, no doubt, that giving your small son or daughter
the opportunity to exercise his own choice in small matters is often a
help to you, Mother and Dad. For instance, when your child wakens from
his nap, all flushed and warm, instead of the command: "Come now, and
have a bath and get dressed," you might suggest: "After you take your
bath, would you rather put on your red overalls with the pockets, or
the plaid ones with the shiny buttons?" Very likely the little face
will beam, and the youngster will go about the business at hand without
hesitation or tugging and pulling.
The relaxed approach is much more sensible than a brisk giving of
orders. After all, your child is growing into an intelligent human
being. You do not want him to obey like a trained puppy; you want him,
of his own free will, to associate doing what is right with what is
expected of him. You want him to realize the happiness that can be his
when he freely chooses to be good. This training will enable him not
only to avoid making unfortunate choices but to make the best possible
ones.
Favorite stories
It is for you, Mother and Dad, to expose your child to spiritual
influences. His alert little mind will make the happy selection. If you
tell stories about saints, you may find that for each child there is
one saint who holds a particular appeal. If he almost always asks for
the story of this saint, let him have his way. And when you decide on a
statue for your child's room, his own preference will influence you.
Maybe your son will be drawn to St. Joseph because he's like Dad with
his tools and carpentering. Perhaps your little girl will think of St.
Francis of Assisi each time she sets out a pan of warm milk for her
kitty.
Your child will not only choose the stories he wants to hear, but
eventually he will choose the virtues he will attempt to acquire. He
will want to be brave like Loyola, good like Joseph, kind like
Elizabeth. How much better it is for him to emulate the virtues of the
great saints than to imitate Dennis the Menace and other comicstrip or
TV characters. Saints can easily become lifelong friends through
stories told about them.
Let every possible example of goodness, kindness and charity be given
your child. Show him by your own conduct how to respect the property of
others, how to show kindness to salesmen, store keepers, beggars. Lead
him by example to love his neighbor regardless of color or nationality.
Prejudice germinates hate; soon it overwhelms the soul, leaving only
devastation. As far as you can, let your own lives follow those of the
Holy Family, and you may be reasonably confident of your child's
decisions, now as a toddler and later as a man.
Angel of God
You cannot accompany your little one everywhere he goes. You cannot
remain awake all night to watch over him. But his guardian angel is
there--when the little charge is asleep and when he is awake; when he
is eating, playing or praying. If you were able to afford trained nurse
to attend your child constantly, you would think that he was being well
cared for. But could a nurse, however efficient, protect your child
from his spiritual enemies? The guardian angel sent directly by God for
this purpose is a faithful friend and wondrous companion.
Tell your little one about his angel, sent down from heaven to watch
over him. You can teach him the familiar prayer, "Angel of God, my
guardian dear." There are many instances in the Bible (Ex. 23:20; Matt.
18:10; Luke 1:5-20, and 26-38; 2:8-15) which describe the use of angels
as messengers between heaven and earth. A child will delight in this
idea of angels' reporting to God about the happenings on earth. He will
be fascinated by the fact that angels are always present. He may even
move over in his chair to make room for his own celestial companion.
"Sometimes we forget how personal is God's interest in us." (See "God
Gives His Help," p. 97, listed under "To Buy or Borrow," at the end of
this leaflet.)
The Church Teaches Courtesy
The teachings of the Church lead toward the development of a strong and
pleasing personality. Consider a few everyday practices which not only
point toward heaven but enhance life on earth as well. Saying grace at
mealtime is just ordinary politeness. The child who is taught to say
grace is being taught how to show gratitude for favors received.
Morning prayer compels one to give some thought to his plans for the
day. Even the little child can do this in a simple version of the
Morning Offering. Even if he does not fully comprehend what he is
doing, he is learning to direct his energies into a worthy channel. He
is being taught to make good use of his time. As evening approaches,
the excitement of the day is forgotten in the quietude of prayer, and
the soul is composed for sleep.
There are many other examples of graciousness taught by the Church. The
genuflection is one; the inclination of the head at the name of Jesus
is another. Catholic parents are indeed fortunate to have the direction
of Holy Mother Church in instructing their children. She is old and
wise and thoughtful of them. She offers a leadership of love, such as
the people knew who followed Jesus in Galilee. As members of the
Mystical Body of Christ, you share this leadership. Try to learn all
you can about the Church and teach your children the proper attitude
toward its precepts. It is important to establish this foundation
early, so that in later life your child will not forfeit his salvation
for a passing worldly attachment.
Briefly Then...
Do not hesitate to show your gratitude for the gift of faith. Teach
your child to treasure it all his life.
1. Give your child an opportunity to learn how to make his own
decisions. With the foundation of a proper sense of values, he will
learn to choose right from wrong, and thus will grow into a balanced
individual.
2. The Church teaches kindness. By your example show your child how to
love his neighbor in God. He will want to imitate the saints as well.
3. In the stories you tell your child acquaint him with God's angels.
4. Your child will learn the gracious ways of Christianity through your
knowledge of the Church and its teachings, as well as by your
example.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"May Guardian Angel," Alma Savag. Guild Press, 850 Third Ave., New
York, N.Y.
A read-with-me book, with full-color illustrations, for the young child
just beginning to learn about his religion.
"God Gives His Help," Rev. Leo J. Trese. Confraternity Publications,
508 Marshall St., Paterson, N.J.
Chapter XV, "The Best Prayer," is especially recommended. However, the
entire booklet deserves attention.
*"We and Our Children," Mary Reed Newland. P. J. Kenedy and Sons, 12
Barclay St., New York, N.Y.
The author vividly shows how to mold the children in Christian living.
"A Catholic Parents' Guide to Children's Reading in the Home." Paulist
Press, 180 Varick St., New York, N.Y.
A listing of one hundred books for children, graded from two to sixteen
years.
"Guardian Angels," Florence Wedge. St. Anthony Guild Press, 508
Marshall St., Paterson, N.J.
In 52 pages, this pamphlet explores the entire subject of Catholic
belief in angelic spirits, covering Scriptural proofs of the existence
of angels and their aid to man, as well as giving the laity in simple
terms a sound theological background on all doctrinal aspects of the
subject.
"Mystici Corporis," Encyclical Letter of Pope Pius XII. Translation of
National Catholic Welfare Conference, 1312 Massachusetts Ave., N.W.,
Washington, D.C.
A "must" for all Catholics. Gives a better understanding of the
intimate union of the church with her divine Hear and the place of each
member in "the whole Christ."
Your child is trying more and more each day to help himself. He
attempts to feed himself and to dress and undress. He likes to place
his storybooks back on the lower shelf provided for them. He is
learning to pedal a tricycle. When you applaud him in his progress
toward independence, you are understanding and patient.
You do not force or coax him to attempt any task beyond his
capabilities. You do not insist that he dress himself all the time, nor
do your expect him to do so completely. Instead, you are there to help
with the button he just can't manage.
You do offer him sufficient freedom to try out his own powers. Thus you
give him an opportunity to enjoy success, to feel a sense of
accomplishment, and to venture into the world of grown-ups on his own
terms. If you have added a new member to your family, your toddler will
want to help with his care. A sense of humor and patience will carry
you through this period of many demands.
His Scale of Things
Your child will want to take part in religious practices also. You do
not coax or cajole or expect too much in these matters either. Offer
him the same helpfulness and praise you did when he was learning to
walk or pedal that tricycle.
You must try not to be so rushed and tired and hurried that you give
orders and do things in an excited manner. If you are nervous because
of the many demands made on you, retreat within yourself for a few
moments to restore calmness. Your physical and spiritual well-being
both will be improved by doing so.
Your child has long since become a part of the family group at prayer.
He comprehends the atmosphere of prayer. He knows that prayer is a way
to talk to God. He has become familiar with the prayer to the Sacred
Heart the family says, even though he grasps little of its meaning. It
is enough if he understands that this prayer tells the Sacred Heart
every day that the whole family wants His blessing and loves Him
dearly. If the child does not recite the prayer, he is nevertheless
making the offering when he kneels quietly and bows his little head at
the name "Jesus," while the older ones say the prayer.
He can bless himself nicely, though at times he may become confused. As
long as it seems necessary, help guide his hand in making the sign of
the Cross. Do not worry; before long he will do it himself.
In visiting the church, your child will want to observe the same rules
as govern the rest of the congregation. A little girl who likes to
cover her head, as Mother does, is learning the proper etiquette for
church. Your child wants to genuflect in his own squatting fashion. He
will probably place the wrong knee on the floor, but in time he will
learn. He can be taught why this act of reverence is expected in the
House of God.
Little by little your child will become practiced in matters of
religion. When he is awkward or slow, remember, Mother and Dad, that he
is learning lessons which are to endure for a lifetime and more.
Teaching religion is a serious and sacred assignment.
For His Very Own
Your child likes his own things. Be sure, Mother and Dad, that there
are religious articles among the treasures which are his personal
property. Inexpensive yet tasteful little statues of our Lord and His
Blessed Mother, of angels and saints, are available. Your small child
will want these for his own. He will be very proud of them, partic-
ularly if you have them blessed. Encourage him to place them on a table
or stand and to supply a flower in a pretty vase as a tribute to his
friends in heaven; by doing this he will come to know and love those
whom they represent. During Advent or at Christmastime, let your child
hold the figure of Jesus which you will place in the crib. Let him
fondle it as his own, and tell him how Jesus was born a tiny Infant
just as he himself was once a helpless baby.
Let your child "pray" his own rosary during Mass. You can buy an
inexpensive prayer book for him too. There are so many attractive ones
on the market. Not only will a prayer book give him pleasure and
something to do, but it will help him become familiar with the actions
of the priest and sacred objects in the church.
At the time of the Offertory collection, let your child drop in his
offering "just like Daddy." This way he is learning early to support
the Church. Let the carrying of a prayer book, a coin and a rosary be a
part of the ritual of getting ready for Mass. Provide a special place
to keep these articles at home. You will be surprised at how
co-operative your child will be in looking after these articles and in
using them.
Be Cheerful
Motherhood and fatherhood are not for the faint-hearted. To serve God
in the vocation of parenthood, "certainly means referring and offering
the work to God in prayer; but it also means, essentially, to do the
work well: one must be prepared for it, work hard at it and, in so far
as possible, be well qualified for it." ("Lay People in the Church,"
Yves M. J. Congar, O.P., translated by Donald Attwater, Newman Press,
Westminster, Md., p. 413.) Children can come to learn that parents
undertake the hardships of their vocation, first, for God and,
secondly, for them. Though it may be difficult, strive to maintain a
cheerful attitude toward life at all times. And if you show your child
that you notice his smiles and appreciate his unselfish actions, he
will most likely become even more cheerful and generous when he grows
older.
In carrying out the sublime challenge of parenthood, be as happy as you
can. This does not mean you won't have your normal share of human woes.
In fact, at times you may experience crushing blows. You will tire and
get sick, and there will always be bills to pay and difficulties to be
encountered in every phase of living. But if you are content in your
married state; if you recognize the ever-present concern of the Holy
Family in your welfare, you will be happy, regardless of what turn
earthly matters take. Yours will be a happiness so deep, so enduring,
so beautiful that you will come to recognize earthly troubles as the
transient annoyances they really are. You will know that heaven is your
ultimate goal, and that as long as you are on the right route, all is
well. The greatest gift you can give your child is the happy and stable
atmosphere of a Catholic home.
Briefly, Then...
1. Offer your child sufficient freedom to try out his own powers but
patiently give help where it is needed.
2. Allow your child to develop in spiritual matters as you do in other
things. Just as he learned to dress himself and to eat at the table, so
too will he come to know how to conduct himself in church and at prayer
time.
3. Provide your toddler with his own small prayer book and rosary.
Teach him to respect these holy objects. Have them blessed by the
priest and set aside a special place to keep them at home.
4. The spirit of a family is dependent upon that of the parents. Since
God is all goodness, kindness and mercy, these qualities must be
reflected in the lives of those who follow Him. Your children will know
holy happiness if you yourselves possess it. A happy home is a
priceless and everlasting treasure.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"ABC's for Catholic Boys and Girls," Catherine Beebe. Illustrated. St.
Anthony Guild Press, 508 Marshall St. Paterson, N.J.
These musical rhymes serve to teach manners and goodness to the small
child.
"Let's Pray," Sister M. Juliana, O.P. Illustrated. Catechetical Guild,
260 Summit Ave., St. Paul, Minn.
This attractive little book will be helpful in teaching your child to
pray.
"Our Lord and I," Catherine Beebe. Illustrated. St. Anthony Guild
Press, Paterson, N.J.
This charming little book takes a child through the day, from prayer-
time to prayer-time. Included in this book are prayers "For Father and
Mother To Teach Me."
"Love Given and Taken," Mary Lanigan Healy. Confraternity Publications,
508 Marshall St., Paterson, N.J.
The material contained in this work is extremely helpful to parents who
are eager to live their family life in a truly Christian manner.
"The Long Adventure," Frank Weyergans. Henry Regnery Co., 20 W. Jackson
Blvd., Chicago, Ill.
About husbands and wives, children and home. Shows how family happiness
can spread beyond the walls of the home and into the community.
Your child has come a long way in three years' time, hasn't he? Before
your eyes in the months ahead you will see in innumerable ways that
babyhood is passing; the babyhood that lasted such a short while. He is
not going to be three years old very long either. Nor four, nor five,
nor twelve, nor twenty. That's why you must continue consciously at
your task of teaching religion every single day. This is the formative
period. Though brief and fleeting, it is the most important time of
life. The groundwork of character-building is being laid. It must last
him the rest of his life.
The religious education of the three-year-old should continue much as
it has thus far. The best way for parents to teach religion is to live
it themselves. Living your religion from morning until night, each and
every day of the year, is the best assurance that your children also
will live it.
Living one's religion is a most satisfying challenge. Having
acknowledged within your hearts the desire to do the will of God, you
know the incomparable tranquillity of trust in Him. You live
fearlessly, knowing that He is guarding you. You live happily, knowing
that He wants you to be joyous in His service. God does not want a
long-faced, sad-voiced tribute of your lives. He prefers the lilting
song such as St. Francis of Assisi gave Him. He is pleased with the
good humor which characterizes His saints. Going to heaven is not a sad
assignment. The journey is made happy by the very thought of the
destination, and so you perform your daily tasks to the best of your
abilities; you strive to deal justly and patiently with your children;
you keep praying for guidance in fulfilling your duties. Your child
will sense your closeness to God and will continue to grow in the
awareness of His presence.
God Is Everywhere
One of the earliest answers learned in the catechism is: "God is
everywhere." Guided by an awareness of the ever-present Creator, you
will be answering frequent questions asked by your inquisitive child.
The chickens, the birds and the animals in the zoo are all from God.
The seeds planted in the earth come up by the power of God. Your child
begins to think and to talk because he has a soul created by God. And
if you are expecting another baby, your child will understand when you
say that this infant, too, comes from God. You will not have to seek
new and complicated theories in teaching him. You will be safe and
tight and everlastingly correct if you are guided by the teachings of
the Church.
So often a small child will stare at an object, fondle it and give the
impression of dawdling--but let him take this time; let him wonder for
himself. Permit him to contemplate and then enlighten him further. He
seems to explore the wonderful world about us as deeply as a
philosopher.
Where Is Heaven?
Our Lord said, "Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the Kingdom
of God as a little Child Will not enter into it" (Luke 18:17). Perhaps
this explains why heaven seems so close to a three-year-old. Heaven is
not distant when one is three. It is as close as the house next door;
as the sandbox in the yard or the swing under the tree.
The child is right. Heaven is not far away. God is everywhere, and so
are His angels and His saints. Being the parent of a three-year-old
gives you a wonderful opportunity to look at heavenly things through
his unclouded eyes--to stay close to God with him. Watch for his
theological insights. It is not beyond a child of three to say such
things as, "That's what God wants;" or, on accompanying his parents to
the altar rail where they receive Holy Communion, to exclaim in
disappointment, "No Jesus for me!" Open your ears to such expressions;
they are amazing and, at the same time, very real and inspiring.
You will be edified by your own baby. Even as you prepare him for
living his religion in adulthood, you will rediscover for yourself the
crystal-clear and unquestioning faith of childhood.
Part of the Family Fun
You will find that your child, though young, will enjoy doing things
with Mother and Dad. You will appreciate his taking part in any family
activity, for a sense of security comes from family participation. You
yourselves will think of many things that can be done as a family unit.
When you are all grouped together at home in the early evening, or in
summer when you are under the trees in the yard, it is time to sing!
The family songfest might end with a hymn to the guardian angel or one
to Mary and her Son. During Advent and at Christmastime sing the carols
often. Surely God will bless the family that prays through song. You
will revel in the peace and contentment which you will discover through
singing. For singing is a natural outlet of our hopes, our loves, our
aspirations.
The Greatest Influence
It is well to remember that the influences of home are stronger than
any others your child may encounter. It is your privilege and your
responsibility to see to it that these influences are worthy of the
trust God has placed in you as parents when He assigned this child or
others to your care. Model your home as perfectly as you can on the
holy home in Nazareth. Then your child will never wish to stray from
its secure and soul-inspiring influence. Home will become for him the
most desired place on earth.
Briefly Then...
1. During your child's preschool years, the groundwork for
character-building is laid. Your task of teaching him religion
continues throughout this formative period.
2. Continue to make your way of life a Christian one. Once you resign
yourselves and your families to God's will, you will know happiness.
Your child will be greatly influenced by your words and deeds.
3. Your child will delight in discovering the world God made and all
that there is about us. Look at creation through his eyes, and thank
God for the opportunity to walk toward heaven with a young hand in
yours.
4. You will marvel at how close heaven is to a three-year-old. Do not
be surprised if this small child inspires you by what he says about
God.
5. Your family traditions, which include even the small three-year-old,
are growing with your family. Singing and other activities done as a
group draw a family together. The common destination of heaven gives to
all a single goal and purpose.
6. If you follow the pattern set in Nazareth by the Holy Family, your
own family life will hold your child anchored to virtue throughout his
life.
TO BUY OR BORROW...
"My Book about God for Little Catholics." Rev. Louis A. Gales.
Illustrated. Catechetical Guild, 260 Summit Ave., St. Louis, Minn.
A delightful introduction to God's wonderful world and the meaning of
life.
"The Creed," Daniel A. Lord, S.J. W. J. Hirten Co., Inc., 21 Barclay
St., New York, N.Y.
Simply and completely, this little book presents the Faith in a manner
suited to the child's understanding.
>"The Story of the Trapp Family Singers" by Maria Augusta Trapp.
Doubleday Image Books, Garden City, N.Y.
Any parent will enjoy this account of a splendid family. It is steeped
in Catholic culture and serves to demonstrate how much pleasure there
is in living close to God.
"Saints and Ourselves," edited by Philip Caraman, S.J. Doubleday Image
Books, Garden City, N.Y.
Twenty-four Catholic writers portray their favorite saints in profile.
"The Catholic and His Church," Henri de Lubac, S.J. Canterbury Books,
Sheed and Ward, 64 University Place, New York, N.Y.
Unique in its blend of theology and meditation; on the Church and its
significance.
*"The Year and Our Children," Mary Reed Newland. P. J. Kenedy and Sons,
12 Barclay St., New York, N.Y.
A book for planning activities for Christian feasts and seasons so that
the family may live the Church year.
